Are You Settling for Less Than You Deserve?

Рет қаралды 38,621

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 77

@anishnewton100 10 ай бұрын

It really helps to watch Dr John with an open mind and to actually try and learn from the callers situations and to learn from Dr John. He has mastered the art of listening to understand. Also, he has shown me it's ok to seek redeeming qualities no matter what a person has done. Seems like he truly loves people.

@copywritersblock 9 ай бұрын

I understand Alissa completely. Some men are children, fully depending on you for support and guidance but not having the capacity to return the partnership and in many ways, not even wanting to. A person can love you with their whole heart and still waste your time. I have been in a trauma bond for the last 5 years and have managed to walk away. I finally understand what it means to choose me, to love me, to be kind to me. I have peace and joy in my life now instead of the chaos and loneliness I felt with him. I have grown leaps and bounds in the last 5 months than I have in the last 5 years. It's not his fault, I held myself back and made myself small to make him ok. I am free and happy and you can be too.

@sarahvandenbos3784 6 ай бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

@stephanieburgess8217 4 күн бұрын

I was in a trauma bonded relationship for 14 years. I cut off 100% of interaction and communication 6 months ago and haven’t looked back. Best decision ever!

@GenWomanhood 10 ай бұрын

John is really good at word pictures; "the kitchen is the chest cavity of the family." Great way to touch the emotions, John!

@terashaking4119 9 ай бұрын

I really appreciate the way this show is hosted and produced. Dr. Delony gives the callers plenty of time to share. Epic!

@pattyharp725 4 күн бұрын

I believe Dr John Delony is so very educated and savvy. I love to listen to him.

@tessaoshea5697 Ай бұрын

Some people have a skill of speaking in a way that doesn't allow others to break into the conversation. The sentence never ends, gaps are filled with conjunctions etc. It's frustrating to talk to someone like that.

@tanyacarp7234 Ай бұрын

The last caller broke my heart, I understand her 😭😭

@flyandshy00 10 ай бұрын

If a man is not making your life better - he makes it worse.

@godknowsimstupid7848 10 ай бұрын

Or neutral. Dont forget neutral.

@fauxbro1983 10 ай бұрын

Lol. Women offer so little thesesdays you ain't even worth it.

@dinajones2761 10 ай бұрын

@@fauxbro1983men either

@csx6910 10 ай бұрын

Same goes for a woman. Except, that woman can utterly destroy a man.

@RepentImmediately 10 ай бұрын

@@fauxbro1983women who have a lot to offer typically have very high standards and are very self-sufficient....the question you should consider is what do you have to offer a woman who actually has a lot to offer?

@RepentImmediately 10 ай бұрын

Some relationships are only meant to last a season and do indeed run their course.

@sarahwatson3315 10 ай бұрын

Dr. John, you should do an interview with Lindsey Gobson the author of adult children of emotionally immature parents. She also has many other boos that are amazing and after learning about what Sue has to say makes a lot of things clear with some of the situations you incounter that could help your viewers along with your point of view that would be amazing to see.

@whitneyw.7919 3 күн бұрын

Alissa you are codependent. Read the book co-dependent no more. I was in a similar situation and this was a big eye-opener for me.

@sopranosd 23 күн бұрын

This woman is walking in circles to tell herself that her daughter is ok sleeping in the same room with a non-related boy. It's bad enough with two related siblings, but an unaffiliated boy is DANGER territory. The courts will agree with you.

@aprilwashington96 8 ай бұрын

Caller 3 Why haven’t she called CPS??? Why haven’t she gone to court to file a motion to amend the custody order???

@wonder12374 10 ай бұрын

Last caller is trying very very hard to ignore the fact that the trauma she is trying to dismiss and excuse away so hard that happened between her and her brother when she was younger is now mirroring itself with her very own daughter. She can't let the fear of the emotional abuse she would have to face bringing up this issue with her husband stop her from saving her daughter from the absolute trauma that her daughter will face by allowing her to sleep in the same room with a boy she does not know. The statement her daughter made set off so many red flags....she is being groomed, and it's only going to get worse....next she will be asked to take off her top because boys do it.....etc....😢 The fact that the father is allowing this behavior is also very scary and may indicate that her daughter is not safe with her father....hard pill to swallow but could be the case. Many times when a woman is abused (no matter how minimal she believes the abuse was) she ends up subconsciously seeking that abuser in her love life...which is why most times the relationships go south 💔

@lilolmecj 10 ай бұрын

Childhood sexual curiosity can be very damaging, and when children under fifteen , close in age to one another it is still damaging, even if neither is a predator . It can be a difficult conversation without casting shade. But the way our system currently works, it will likely be much more damaging to that eleven year old boy from a legal standpoint. This is a situation that is poised to explode spectacularly. A custody agreement where each child does not have their own bedroom will not pass the test. I really feel for all the children in this scenario because some of the parents are putting their heads in the sand. Be so careful to not hurt that eleven year old boy, but these parents n ed to wake up.

@Sara-x6t3s 2 күн бұрын

Yes it would be better if the father did not put the eleven year old in a position to become a predator. Unfortunately the father is neglecting his responsibility to his son, or his daughter. However this sort of thing is FAR more damaging to the young girls than the boy who is acting out the predatory behavior. At the age he is it is absolutely impartitive that he learn to control these sorts of feelings and desires. His father should be guiding him through this not putting him in a situation to fail like this. Unfortunately today we have men who have never learned to control themselves let alone be capable of helping their son's or daughters. Heck today our society condones pee dough filia in the husband's and father's, covering up the damage they have caused in the lives of countless young girl's. It truly is a dangerous world filled with predators dressed as loving father's. As we see here.

@glitterstarbeau 10 ай бұрын

The courts are going to treat a girls sharing a room with her stepbrother differently than teenagers driving. Also, the court will say no more driving, and as long as it stops, they dont do anything else.

@speedyllama8380 9 ай бұрын

My Al-Anon family group is the best thing. ❤

@emilykozel5087 9 ай бұрын

THE CUSTODY COURT is broken. They will not help with these matters. It’s maddening

@lsf71 10 ай бұрын

Caller 1 : Leave him...its NOT worth it.

@Sara-x6t3s 2 күн бұрын

I relate so much to Alissa, only it isn't my boyfriend, he's my husband of 24 years. I have to face the reality that my husband simply does not love me in the way that I need to be loved. Its clear to me that I need to stop depositing my love into this bank. Open another account for myself and begin feeding myself instead.

@glowieokenney7915 9 ай бұрын

I’m so happy that I came across these videos!!!!!

@aprilwashington96 8 ай бұрын

Caller 1. Leave that man alone (not as in LEAVE, but stop pestering him). Focus on yourself. Stop making him your focus. You’re using him as a scapegoat from your own stuff. You came from a family of alcoholics and addicts. LORD KNOWS you have A LOT of childhood wounds to heal. Go address your stuff. John I think the book you’re referencing is Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. Another great book, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow by Karen Casey.

@pejisan 7 ай бұрын

So much of society rests and is built on the work of women that WE don't even recognize it as "work", let alone deserving of a good work environment. I made that mistake for decades. Get that kitchen done!

@tessaoshea5697 Ай бұрын

Women and men. Women tend to help people but men are also out there repairing neighbors fences, driving people to the shops.

@angiespiva5304 Ай бұрын

ACOA Gets to the roots. Alanon just never worked for me. I was doing it for my drinkers not for me. That denial is strong.

@vivianworden 10 ай бұрын

Her boyfriend is not weaponizing anything. If anything he has communicated his limits and she needs to move on. He is not in a position to be what she needs. She's codependent and if SHE doesn't fix that about herself she will end up exactly where she is today.

@bestbudsourchannel4807 10 ай бұрын

Last caller...oh HE$$ NO! No, no, no! Why are you congratulating yourself on listening to your spidey-sense when there are multiple red flags??? TAKE ACTION!

@marenernst1841 Күн бұрын

YES

@scvillah 10 ай бұрын

I hope she allows to call what happened to her SA. I felt for her when she tried to minimize it. 🥺

@kellymorehouse4561 8 ай бұрын

John, you're good 👍

@beastshawnee 9 ай бұрын

You can always sseee us fix-it trauma survivors. We clown and distract and minimize…

@TheBmonster1 10 ай бұрын

6:39 cuz she wants to hear that she is right right now not later. She needs patience

@julieo330 9 ай бұрын

Love your videos, but it is too hard to understand the second caller. Maybe someone on your team should monitor what it is going to sound like on our end. Seems like her mouth is too close to the speaker.

@_JanetLouise 9 ай бұрын

thanks Dr John ....

@Emmpra 7 ай бұрын

Never sell your tent!!!

@marenernst1841 Күн бұрын

Please, please get the 8 yo outta that situation! Your atty should fight! Go thru goggle til you find willing atty. I know women who were in same situation as your 8 yo old daughter! Not good! Plz!!!!

@Whatorwellsaid21 10 ай бұрын

The kitchen is “for her”? Lol unless the husband and kids don’t plan on eating, the kitchen is for them too. Some people really struggle with logic.

@Trackpad12 10 ай бұрын

She is the one who cooks. Use your brain

@ethanmiller5487 3 ай бұрын

Ok this made me extra mad... Bill and Teds holds up. Its a great movie!!

@deamon506 10 ай бұрын

Sarah just wants to talk 😂

@mollys4062 21 күн бұрын

And is painful to listen to 😂

@sarahvandenbos3784 6 ай бұрын

Swear I carry the load silently ❤

@marilynnelson3559 6 ай бұрын

Ì think i would want to know the gender and age of the other children and the size of the house before going any further.

@nikkita1688 10 ай бұрын

Caller 1, did you consider John might ask questions if you called in? 😂

@travisbur7110 10 ай бұрын

I now cannot wait for the episode after the Packers beat the cowboys in the playoffs 😂

@courtneymcfarland8333 10 ай бұрын

Whether was caller 1’s actual question? Issue? I’m so confused

@glitterstarbeau 10 ай бұрын

She just wants to break up and feels like her boyfriend is lame.

@shirleykilbride4555 6 ай бұрын

I just feel that from listening in to these conversations ..the steps asking these people to take are too giant ...would be useful to give practical guidance te taking tiny steps first as can be overwhelming to tell people to leave get out straight away ..etc out of tekationships when peaople may not have immediate neans to do so..no disrespect to the doc ..who its obvious that he cares ...

@mico77720 10 ай бұрын

8:10 relationships are not a piggie bank where you put effort and expect the wame effort in return.

@RepentImmediately 10 ай бұрын

Relationship without reciprocity is codependence.

@horsepanther 9 ай бұрын

To be fair, there doesn't have to be anything untoward going on for a little girl to want to be able to not wear a shirt just like boys can. I was fricking outraged as a child to be told when it was hella hot outside, that the other kids were allowed to take their shirts off, but not me, because I was a girl (the only girl in my neighborhood). That was my first taste of how ridiculously unfair life was going to be for me due to my gender. Nothing to with sexual abuse. But it also doesn't matter for this mom's situation--she needs to stop rambling trying to convince Delony that letting an 11-year-old stepbrother share a room with her daughter is bad. Obviously it's bad. You don't need to rely on Spidey sense to know that's an unsafe situation.

@Sara-x6t3s 2 күн бұрын

While it may have not had anything to do with sa for you, you must have been in a safe environment. However for MANY of us it was the first sign that you were not safe. It was and is the beginning of many of ours abuse. It it the beginning of the grooming that old men use on little girl's. It happens all the time! Please keep in mind that nearly FIFTY PERCENT of women experience sexual abuse before the age of 18! Primarily at the hands of TRUSTED men in their lives. Let that sink in to your thought process. You may have gotten lucky, but fifty percent of us were not so lucky. This father is a walking red flag, there is something wrong with him, he is clearly not interested in protecting his own daughter. Which tells us that he himself is NOT safe for his daughter. She needs to be protected from him, very clearly so.