Is Narcissism Linked To Abuse Or Neglect?

Live from Belmont Library MA - Is Narcissism Linked To Abuse Or Neglect?
www.drcraigmalk...
WHY RETHINK NARCISSISM?
People ask, “Why rethink narcissism?” and sometimes they get a little confused from the title that somehow I’m talking about how great narcissism is - that’s not what this book is about at all. In fact, it draws on many of the most promising and recent research findings that we have in understanding narcissism and includes my own research in helping people understand narcissism in a different way, which gives you a much clearer path through all of this than we’ve ever had before.
THE NARCISSISM TEST
If you haven’t already done so, I suggest you go to The Narcissism Test on www.drcraigmalk... and take the brief online version of the measure my colleagues and I have developed (The Narcissism Spectrum Scale) to see where you or your loved ones score (if you want to take it as if your loved one was taking it; many people have).
BUY THE BOOK
If you like what you've heard learn more from the book, the link to purchase in the USA is tinyurl.com/qz7... or the UK is amzn.to/1M5BLct

[@specialk3021]

Omg my mother did that!!!! I did become her caretaker! This made me cry. She was but never told me about it.

[@CraigMalkin]

I hope you found the video helpful.

[@junepeyer1200]

I agree there is an absolute link between abuse, neglect and narcissism. My mother was a parentified child of an alcoholic father who coerced her to quit school at age 14 too help her extremely anxious mother with her 6 younger siblings. My mother developed a fantasy world in her youth where she told me and my siblings that she had seen the Devil himself in broad daylight and that her childhood home and our childhood home was haunted. She spoke of having telekinetic abilities and even tried to convince us at a young age, as she made us watch, that she was in fact moving objects. I know that these manifestations were a result of her neglected child. She was caring for her siblings in a manner which allowed her father to ‘get off the hook’ of his responsibility as a father. My mother was abusive to me and my siblings, more so to those who were headstrong. I am the middle child and was the first to see a school psychologist at age 7. I repeated the second grade at age 7 and was sent into speech therapy at age 7. Not a coincidence in my mind. I have suffered ‘scapegoating’ throughout my life. My family of origin has severely splintered after my mother’s death 2 years ago. I’m a retired police officer and I moved to Germany (temporarily) with my husband’s job 4 years ago and the scapegoating has not ceased. I went into therapy to recover from the wounds of my childhood and am happy to say that I understand WHY my mother behaved as she did. While I am not happy with what went on in my childhood, I understand why it occurred- that is the most important ‘take away’ from my entire journey of healing. I also don’t harbor the anger i once did for my mother. It has melted away in the light of understanding. My oldest sister recently (5 days ago) took to Facebook to illustrate the fact that I am the problem in the family and that I am not happy or mentally healthy. She accused my husband of being abusive and my life as lacking happiness. She wrote in total 3 long posts detailing my ‘problems’. She said I hate our dead mother and don’t understand our family. I know it’s pure projection and I have not and will not respond to the posts. Nothing I could say would change her narrative, she has to change it herself. My psychiatrist and psychologist are of the opinion that I act as the family’s identified patient, and I agree with their assessment. I was a little surprised by the fact that I did not become angry or ‘triggered’ to react to my sister’s angry Facebook post. She told me I would likely delete it and unfriend her. I did not. I know she may want me to give into the projective identification- I won’t. I realize that my ‘lack of triggering’ and anger over her post is evidence that I am on a path of healing- that makes me feel good, but sad that she is resistant to seeing our parents and childhood as it truly was.

[@briellehunter7233]

My mom definitely had migraines, she would vomit all night, moaning in agony. The house had to be completely quiet or my stepdad would snap.

[@stroops2009]

Neglect was the number one wepon against me. He does not recognize neglect as a part the our marriage break down. I'm in the middle of a nasty divorce and not sure if I can defeat him. He truly is a monster in decise. How can I find myself again?

[@CraigMalkin]

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[@Traceyi1000]

My mother, I believe was sexually abused by her father. She was a train wreck of a mother to 3 daughters and have managed to triangulate my sisters . Both my parents are still alive but both have recently been diagnosed with cancer. I have been estranged but have empathy for them.

[@dotnb]

Where is the whole talk?

[@LauraVee63]

Dr. Malkin, so if I understand you correctly, you're absolutely positive that narcissism is linked to abuse or neglect? I am going to contact you privately via your e-mail regarding this very subject. Thank you in advance.

[@keekeeanna4741]

Not always. You could also literally spoil your child rotten, hence, the child grows to be a narc. This is what happened to my MIL.