Is Sex and Intimacy Falling Short in Your Marriage? (Watch This)

[@jordanhowe5998]

The problem I've experienced is that the "dirty dishes" never end... once the daily to do list is finished then items just start getting pulled from the long term list until exhaustion hits and it's time to crash. Can't make someone prioritize what they claim they don't want.

[@Gotoworkkk]

That’s married life unfortunately

[@Suzie_Q1989]

It’s such a turn on when my boyfriend criticizes everything I do and then comes at me with his manhood out…. NOT.

[@renarich4942]

Sis u aren’t married so y u sticking around? Get out now

[@truthreigns3465]

Then evil witch that is not being completely honest, leave

[@PaulHilburger]

SUFFER

[@eduardocod8924]

Give cake

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@Suzie_Q1989 😂

[@_mar_ta_]

"People don't connect with one another over strength. They can achieve great things, they can become partners, but you deepen the relationship through vulnerability." - I love that! Especially that first sentence struck a cord. If I may, I think it would be really great if you made time to discuss asexuality and different shades of it. It's often overlooked, especially in conversations when there's a marriage involved, but it's very important. I have two friends who only discovered there's such a thing in their 30s and spent years feeling "less than". Thanks for all you do, I really appreciate your show!

[@vivianworden]

Passion leaves the bedroom when passion leaves other areas of your life. No hobbies, no dates, no fun. With those things absent. Sex becomes a cold room no one wants to build a fire for. People start expecting the fire to build itself. Imagine expecting heat first before you chop wood and prepare the hearth. Thanks to an instant oatmeal, microwave generation. It's quite common.

[@texan903]

Right now I'm with someone who has no hobbies at all of her own. She likes cooking, reading, and that's it. She doesn't enjoy gardening, drawing, sewing, art, traveling, doesn't like cats or dogs (she sees animals as competition and a threat for my attention towards her); I think it's pitiful. Since the pandemic, my biggest interests of traveling, photography have slowed drastically but I still cook, bake occasionally, walk, collect books and die-cast cars, reading and will acquire a dog eventually.

[@chada75]

Yes!

[@chada75]

@@texan903 She don't like Dogs? Hell No!

[@texan903]

@@chada75 exactly. She even gave me an ultimatum one day to choose between her or a dog. I told her the dog is my choice.

[@Laydeejay800]

👏🏽

[@irumkhan3381]

My hubby is also incredibly critical around the house. I find myself hiding away after the kids are asleep . His critism can be too much , or he's just ao negative, I can't be around it. He's always upset or frustrated at the world. It's so draining to be around. Zaps all my positive energy

[@lmb4876]

Sounds like my critical husband.. he criticized my body ( I was thin but not firm) & our children weren’t perfect..I hated sex with him…understand?

[@ivywildwss]

SO not a turn on when a man is criticizing you around the house, no way, incredibly diminishing.

[@JDogB-tc3lx]

Just my opinion as a married man, I have found myself being negative before at the world and angry, but truthfully it was because I was frustrated in my marriage and loved my wife too much to tell her so I diverted my anger and frustration towards the world so she wouldn't know it was actually her that I was frustrated with. I would tell him to be honest if there is something he is angry with you about. It will probably feel ashamed for feeling that way, but honestly it is probably something that you are not doing, an expectation he has that you are not living up to. I hope that helps whoever needs to hear it.

[@lisamr40]

Same here. You are not alone.

[@1979montes]

Leave so he can be with someone that makes him happy instead of a wife hiding your the problem

[@brandishantel5889]

It's definitely not always the women that are not interested in sex. That road can and does go both ways.

[@baleslydia2009]

Yesss

[@nnylasoR]

YUP. 😩😣

[@Gotoworkkk]

Not men usually…. He’s most likely getting it from someone else…

[@omarmassoud6275]

99.9% of the time it's women who resent and refuse sex

[@Ferien7]

No, it’s almost always women doing this

[@katekrieger4646]

My husband does the childish bullying and it makes me feel less and less like having sex.

[@ApriliaRacer14]

…..and your resentment is building. Address it VERY son or the house of cards will come down. I speak from experience and wish you both the very best.

[@plantedinwv9043]

I just expressed to my husband he needs to start holding more space for my feelings, thoughts, and interactions with him because I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall wanting romance and spontaneity. My husband also does the childish bullying, side comments he claims he’s “joking about,” and recently when I really started to believe I was AuDHD, he said I was “crazy.” Like sir, I’ve been researching this for over a year now, it makes my ENTIRE life make sense, how dare you. Do you think that makes me want to sleep with you? Hell? Do you think that makes me like you???

[@dannelle17]

@@plantedinwv9043Seeing this comment a month later and hoping it got better for you guys 🥺

[@humblejoy3564]

that's a very natural response... I'm sorry you're going through it

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@plantedinwv9043maybe stop nagging at him?

[@faithp7201]

Wow! Glad to know we did it right!! We walked into marriage as virgins and talked a lot about what we thought we would be interested in trying or not trying. Our communication was really strong and it helped us bond during the beginning when things were still awkward and painful. My husband had taken sex ed class in college (pre marriage) and it also helped him understand what it would be like walking in and I also listened to multiple podcasts on it. We planed on being too tired for sex on our wedding day, lol…but after a four our drive and talking about it on the way to our hotel was like foreplay so we were ready for it that night. Two years in and I would say we haven’t struggled with sex, it’s been more of a solid portion of our marriage.

[@prlifter393]

Wait til you get to 10-15.

[@renarich4942]

@@prlifter393what’s gonna happen

[@aprilwashington3150]

P.s. You don't have to wait til year 10-15 😂

[@kelliemurphy7933]

2 years! 😂 There would be something seriously wrong of it wasn’t still good at 2 years. I think before sounding like you have it all sewn up and know what it’s all about, you’ll have to go a LOT longer than 2 years.

[@bethl]

Good for you. What a great foundation

[@starlingswallow]

When you and your significant other don't share any hobbies that you like, and it's taking away from you spending time with each other, one of the best solutions is to join the other person in some thing that they like to do! Who knows!? You might discover that you actually like some thing that your spouse likes!❤

[@starlingswallow]

To the couple getting married and worried about all of the pressure on that one night for intimacy, if you guys could sit down and have a conversation about the pressure and take it off of each other, that would be great! You guys are getting to know each other's bodies for the first time and if you can assure each other that if intercourse doesn't happen on the first night that that is OK!

[@tammybrown5983]

I was going to say also doing something new together.

[@frogismyhandle]

I'm just gonna say it they are in a much different tax bracket than the working class if they "can't find anything to do together" uhm how about watching the Office as Delony has mentioned multiple times lmao, working class hobbies

[@IMBLESSED-oe6dl]

I know any time my hubby wants it it's his love for me so yeah I will still do it if not in the mood.

[@Azzne-]

How do you make yourself get in the right mindset and have your body respond? I can’t seem to be able to do that. I know he wants active participation so I can’t just let my brain disengage. Idk

[@Gotoworkkk]

Agree! This means a lot for your husband

[@AIartificalIntellige]

​@Azzne- The fact he can go out and get another woman who knows how to communicate what she wants and is more understanding.

[@WPwillsavetheworld]

Boy when John mentioned it being her husband's fault she LIT UP! She was so happy.

[@ashleyflicker1646]

Men are not very good in the bedroom clearly.....

[@QuiverofArrows]

This may have been the first time her feelings had been validated.

[@alenaadamkova5322]

Why to get on vaccation tired if you may make certain simple steps to get there peacefully and happy. Its the same , the people just have to get over themselves. Would you yell at your boss and then expect great money?

[@texan903]

Years ago I read an article from 1976. Jimmy Carter was on his presidential run. Gloria Carter Spann, gave an interview and the state of her marriage was a subject. At the time she had been married for about 26 years, and she said that a lot of their friends had been having heart attacks or were divorcing. Mrs. Spann said she had a conversation with her husband, in which she said they needed to find a hobby they both enjoyed. Mr. and Mrs. Spann jointly took up motorcycling, traveling by bike to all 48 contiguous states, along with Mexico and Canada. Something worked as they were married about 40 years.

[@littledumpling6454]

I like what you said about not fixing people, that’s how my husband has been to me and I’ve healed from a lot of trauma. My friend circle has not been that way to me and it’s caused trauma , I feel like I’m not safe telling them anything.

[@annonymous6906]

Just wanted to add to the question regarding "having sex when not feeling it". I'm in this situation and the end result of letting this ride is, eventually the one initializing will stop after so many negative reactions. Nobody really "wants" a sexless marriage.

[@alexmitchell7083]

I never thought I’d be at this point in my life but I’ve given up on it. Living in the torment of a sex drive I can’t do anything with is easier than being denied several times consecutively even after I know I’m being everything she wants and needs. And as a Christian man my only option has abandon me in this part of life and there’s really no other route.

[@ann-mariemeurs952]

If your husband is giving you what you desire from a marriage then you should also be giving your husband what he desires from a marriage. Of course I’m assuming you had already discussed what you expect and want from your marriage prior to getting married.

[@lalitstar2371]

I like this

[@nochso6835]

That last call, the asexual wife sounds like she gives (verbally) as good as she gets, or better. Dr. Delony did a great job of persuading her to demonize her husband and take all agency away from herself. She did reveal that being a virgin till marriage wasn't a struggle for her at all. Truth is, she never really liked sex and has trapped her husband into a sexless monogamous union. No husband is perfect, but no man deseves that hell.

[@allesasmart]

He gets it elsewhere. No way he isn't cheating. She looks away.

[@lmb4876]

My husband would come home very late from work….no conversation/he had nothing to say…then in the bedroom he would initiate sex..I just couldn’t do “it”…I needed tenderness/conversation..we are divorced

[@gregorylatta8159]

You should have given him some.

[@jameswilkerson4412]

Did you tell him how you’d have liked to connect to get in the mood?

[@Gotoworkkk]

That’s where women are too complicated. Sometimes men just want simple because they’re tired from work. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s actually helping your marriage.

[@ar15tac]

“If you want to dress up like pirates dress up like pirates” so casually said I couldn’t help laughing.

[@beyzaatasoy9821]

I love that you are recommending books in between so that I have something to read after :D

[@LolaDelMarCaribe]

She was a virgin and they’ve been married for 15 months maybe they are still learning and that’s why she doesn’t enjoy it, she needs to give herself grace and maybe they should focus on some foreplay

[@jeradkiester698]

She should do everyone a favor and divorce him before she brings a baby into the mix.

[@citrustaco]

She doesn't want to learn. She was a virgin and was proud of it. She has been told all her life that sex is icky, it's yucky, an abomination against religion, and to wait. Now that the time has come, she's expected to completely change. Just magically flip a switch, and presto, she's a sexual vixen in bed. This happens way too often with virgins and when the time comes, they don't want it, and realize they've gone their entire lives without it, now they don't need it. They got used to virginity and they have major anxiety. It's similar to a couple always having sex, and suddenly one of them cuts it off completely. The other person is upset and angry and doesn't want to change. What does "she needs to give herself grace" even mean? She doesn't want sex and sounds like she doesn't want intimacy or foreplay neither. Her first words were "I really do not like sex". Not sex with her husband and open to someone else. She doubled down and said "I resent sex as a whole". She doesn't like it at all. I'm also willing to bet my life that she's not into self pleasure as well. She doesn't want foreplay. She wants NOTHING to do with it. She wants him to continue to do all things he's giving her now, but not want to give him what he wants, and expects him to keep it zipped up, and would cry and be "devastated" if he got sex elsewhere. This is like a dog that doesn't want to play with a chew toy, then will grumble when another dog tries to play with the toy. Stick a fork in her, she's done. She has to step up and take accountability. Imagine if this were a man calling in to this show starting out with "I really do not like sex" and "I resent sex as a whole". We would tell the wife to run for the hills. John would not ask if the sex starved wife is a jerk and blame her for everything.

[@citrustaco]

@@jeradkiester698 He needs to force the divorce. She wants him to continue to do everything and not be compensated for it. People will call him yet another jerk and he'll get bad mouthed for initiating a divorce, but he's not going to be happy here long term. He needs to bail before a pregnancy or buying a home together. Trust me, she's going to wait to bring a baby and tie him to her forever.

[@glitterstarbeau]

@@citrustaco relationships are not transactions

[@marymccann6110]

Um, it sounds like he is abusive. I don't think foreplay is going to fix that.

[@SarahRodriguez-1619]

Passive aggressiveness, demands, invalidating your emotions, bullying is all emotional abuse. Of course she doesn’t want sex with someone like that, nobody does.

[@montgomeryfamily8914]

Consent is most important I don't care if your married especially if you are a woman if you say no it means no. To the ppl that say a woman is a husband's procession and their property. Absolutely not men that think like that are gross and creepy. This also goes for men if you say no it means no PERIOD

[@Zero_Fawkes]

When sex is expected it loses its appeal. the second a man treats me like an object and pressuring me about sex its the beginning of the end. i cant stand it. it makes my skin crawl.

[@IMBLESSED-oe6dl]

It is expected in a marriage so dont waste someone else's emoti9ns n time. This is why marriage is diff

[@aprilwashington3150]

​@@IMBLESSED-oe6dl Someone lied to you. That's why you're probably not getting any.

[@Gotoworkkk]

Don’t get married then

[@johndegoede7639]

But you get married with the knowing that sex is an expectation, so what is the problem.? You don’t want a cheating spouse

[@bridgetnash638]

Hearing John awkwardly read sexy song lyrics is one of the greatest things I've witnessed today.

[@dosstodd8014]

I have to think that one of the best things about heaven is there’s no sex to mess things up. Sex drive is torment.

[@gregorylatta8159]

Exactly 💯 and I can't wait 😅

[@sisselhansen3915]

Then you don't know what Great Sex really is ❤

[@starlingswallow]

I'm not sure if the team here is OK if we mention good books for the soon to be married couple to read in order to take pressure off of sex, but here goes! If the groom to B could read the good guys guide to great sex, and the bride to be could read the good girls guide to great sex, these books are amazing! I think they are very beneficial to people, especially believers in Christ who are waiting for intimacy for when they're married.

[@teachercaron]

It's an older book, but my husband I and really benefitted from separately reading "The Act of Marriage" by LaHaye before we were married. We had open discussions about the topics in the book before our wedding night. It helped so much!

[@sackettfamily4685]

Huge follower of the author of those books! And the practical part of it is the most helpful one I've read. She also recently revamped it! And she has an online course for the honey moon!!!! With all the practical and not creepy (she keeps it professional and not "mr happy" of sheet music.🤮)

[@thekeytokrissy1305]

Everyone always go to “he/she’s not into you” and that’s not always the case lol Women are very different from men when it comes to sex.Women need 4 play. We are emotionally wired and let’s be honest, men can get hard off of just vision lol This may be a shocker but penetration alone doesn’t normally do anything for a lot of women (notice I didn’t say all). There aren’t very many nerve endings in the vagina because if there were,child birth would be a lot more painful lol.If you’re a lazy lover meaning after your needs are met you’re pretty much done,then of course your wife isn’t going to want to🤷🏽‍♀️That’s nothing to look forward to lol Other things could also be the reason like medications, breastfeeding, lack of time spent etc. Spend a little time with her, actually listen to her no matter how stupid you think her thought process is. Flirt with her and take her out sometimes. Stop jumping to conclusions and actually talk and try to figure out the real problem 👍🏽

[@emmarose6590]

Finally someone said it. All these men in the comments think we are wired like them. You’ve got to seek to understand your partner and their needs and wants. This lady is calling in trying to get help, and more than likely the husband needs help to. Hence the suggestion for marriage counseling

[@thekeytokrissy1305]

@@emmarose6590 yess 😩The men on these comment sections always resort to the worst case scenario because of what they’ve been through in THEIR past.

[@emmarose6590]

@@thekeytokrissy1305 they’re literally the worst. Like the worst type of men. What a nightmare to date or marry. No wonder they are bitter, women don’t want to be with them

[@citrustaco]

There's a difference between sex and intimacy. Intimacy can lead to sex. Women like foreplay, which is part of intimacy. But when she's "not into you", she isn't interested in foreplay, desire, or accepting of being touched in a sexual manner. Contrary to popular belief, men like intimacy and foreplay as well to get warmed up. Men like to grope, fondle, and be fondled. But when women reject intimacy and foreplay, he can't even get to first base. Yes, we can spend time with her, listen to her, but she also needs to listen no matter how stupid it sounds to you and you need to allow him to be flirtatious to you and not always throwing cold shoulders. Yes, you can talk and figure out the problem, but solving those problems take ACTION. From him AND from her. It's NOT just on him or all his fault. You may think it's just men who don't listen, but a lot of women don't listen either.

[@rpaafourever7908]

@@citrustaco Did you even read what she wrote? Stop projecting. There's usually a reason she's "not into you". If she doesn't want to engage in foreplay, how about you just ask her why? I bet it won't feel good to find out that reason so you'd rather put it all on her. If you really want to know why and you are emotionally safe to be with, she will tell you. If you are not, then start working on it. Communicate. Don't whine and complain that she won't do this or that. You are not entitled to anything sexual from her. Intimacy = Into me I see. Look within yourself first. And before you say, she could do the same, yes she could. But it's your life and if you'd rather be passive being a guy and remain stuck or quit, then don't be surprised if women are not into you.

[@McKaylaJade]

I love the energy you start your shows with.

[@midwifeohyeah22]

Lol Kelly " pls don't send me intimate success emails 😅 " Love the lightning round this week. Thanks for all this team does !

[@starlingswallow]

Darn it! I already opened my email to over share!! 😂😂😂😂

[@kimmiekats22]

“Snap into a Slim Jim guys” made me spit out my water. 😂 hahahahahaha

[@janicechilders4885]

Great job John regarding Gretchen! Body keeps score. Never heard that before!

[@ivywildwss]

The Body Keeps the Score is a great book by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. really famous & helpful

[@robinlynn5533]

I’m late to the party. Hope everyone had a beautiful Valentine’s day 💕 Doc and Crew you guys are awesome with all the people you help. You do it with compassion kindness and grace. Blessings always

[@brightpage1020]

Listening to your partner and responding to their needs - both inside and outside of the bedroom - and making yours known while keeping yourself safe… usually serves us well, in general, for the most part. Have you ever noticed that like 20 year olds who are as hot as they are hot for each other have generally no problem talking about sex - or doing it with each other. We probably won’t ever match the body or mentality of our 20 year old selves… for the best, maybe - once we’ve attained long term relationships 1/2 a decade or more, but we can maintain our physical health, and our metal and emotional or intellectual / spiritual growth to keep it fit, fresh, & creative. Letting go of the fact that our 3 kids gave me abdominal hernia doctors in deliveries were too busy saving our lives to fix… or feeling self conscious about the extra shape my body carries now… is not helping anybody. But I can celebrate we lived by walking, skiing, biking, carry 4 bundles of laundry up and down 2 flights of stairs per day… or eat right and go see a new doc now to help me mend those interior fences. Those should not be my partner’s problem. I’m a grown up and can take responsibility for care of my physical self so he doesn’t have the pressure of pumping up my ego about it in a way that feels fake even though it’s not. After a decade, marriage sex is not the super bowl. It’s like a brief commercial break from all the little kids’ competitive needs for our attention. Might as well enjoy it, or keep it short & spicy while you grab a snack if you don’t. Like riding a bike or falling off a horse, just keep getting back up in that saddle until you find or create a rhythm that works for the both of you - then change that before you fall asleep through it. Surprise yourself.

[@brightpage1020]

Good times are sure to be had.

[@BG-nm5xt]

Really depends on the quality of the relationship. If a person mostly feels bad about the interaction with their partner, not treated right, the sex will be bad, strained, Women feel like they need to give in, even when they don't want it. Testosterone makes men more sexual and more aggressive.

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

Every show I watch I just never understand... How are you people getting married to these emotionally abusive types?? It's like you just take what you can to get married and then all of a sudden regret it after you're there.

[@jujube2407]

It's not always allllll the sudden... sometimes one grows...and the other refuses to. So you have a 40 yr old mature adult and they have an emotionally 20 something spouse. For better or worse means you don't quit...but everyone has a breaking point... its not cool to tears others asking for help down...

[@nicvic1717]

@@jujube2407 bingo! A thriving marriage and sex life happens when both commit to growing together… and then do it! Communication and vulnerability are great, but they mean nothing if they’re not backed up by actions!

[@starlingswallow]

Which story are you referencing?

[@bumblinagirl2683]

It may not be a malicious criticism, but a genuine question to gain understanding. The first thing I thought after reading is that he's lucky to not know!🤍

[@Whimmery]

It also plays further into people looking for something “safe” and familiar, but if they were abused then the “safe” is warped to be replaced with the abusive “familiar”. They found familiar but it is not safe, because their “safe” was all they ever knew as kids - abuse

[@LovableLL]

Be careful, your hormones fluctuate so they may be perfect today but in 2 weeks be off. Discuss that with your doctor as well. Best of luck girl!

[@seanlowry6184]

Sometimes the show titles make it hard to present an episode to your spouse.

[@berganmay]

I agree

[@user-dd4jc1hd1l]

wtf. Bro, shut up and grow a pair.

[@debramason7237]

I'm not sure how old the virgin newlyweds would have to be to be too exhausted for honeymoon night lovemaking!? That's insane. Have you kissed? Are there desires? It's all part of intimacy, the highest expression of love. Remember the first time you held hands, he put his arm around you (😍), sometimes you just touch each other and feel that spark/heart pounding. It's just another first. If it doesn't go like you "think" it should go, you've got lots of time to practice..

[@abrakadabrah3031]

Two people to work in one direction... Not frequently the case...to easy to cheat..access porn etc.

[@eleanorrigby1629]

Yes you should do it even if you're not feeling it bc if you only did it when both people are 100% in, then you'd only do it twice a month. But you have to give yourself and offer yourself bc that strengthens a relationship.

[@RebeccaLarson-v7n]

Intimacy is different for everyone- MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND TO STAY HAPPY, AND MARRIED! ❤️the end.

[@brendaschwieterman1350]

This is what I did. My husband is 4 days younger than me and we grew up on the same street. We were in the same kindergarten carpool and have ALWAYS been friends. Although we’ve had our ups and downs, our history keeps our relationship strong. We’ve been married 36 years, have 4 adult kids (all married) and 6 grandkids with two on the way. We are like a machine. We really have a good time together and have learned to become a power couple. We get up at 5:00 each morning. I do 30 minutes of guided meditation, while he prays the rosary and listens to Fr. Mike Schmitz. At 6:30 we leave the house to exercise, then we both go to work, come home and have dinner together, chat, then go to bed. Love is so wonderful. ❤

[@Chris012345671]

I don't know why i torture myself listening to this show. My wife is pretty much asexual (her words). She will still be intimate but she is clearly not into it and i just feel guilty afterwards and have stopped initiating entirety. Its been over 6 months and she doesn't mind a bit.

[@nochso6835]

Stop listening to it. This is my last one. This doctor is a misandrist. Didn't actually take the time to let the women get checked or look into herself before totally blaming the husband. Weird

[@aprilwashington3150]

Lust over love is never appealing.

[@lmiller1413]

Men need to step it up if a woman is not sexually fulfilled Starts with emotional support and love.

[@ApriliaRacer14]

And women shut not cut off intimacy and sex based in feelings without communicating what issues she is dealing with. That’s abuse.

[@ashleyflicker1646]

​@@ApriliaRacer14women usually tell men what's wrong, but of course most men don't care. And if sex was enjoyable for women, why wouldn't we wanna do it? A lot of men are terrible lovers....

[@lmiller1413]

@ashleyflicker1646 for sure. And some women try to speak up, but men get upset when they do, so they stop trying and are shocked when women leave. And some are downright scary in the bedroom.

[@TP-vu3tc]

​@@ashleyflicker1646 That's a sexist statement. Goes both ways

[@opharahanglin9624]

​@ashleyflicker1646 very true.

[@Yo_soy_Annna]

Love the speed round concept because Dr. John gets to answer so many questions that are so helpful, but please get rid of the buzzer. It's a bummer. Maybe a more pleasant noise?

[@T3COLY]

This 👏❤

[@christysplaine9779]

"Hold my hand"..... So very romantic and intimate...

[@Nikkisweeets]

I hate that “relationships” revolve around sex. As a female I feel thats all men see us for, (I know not all men, but most do) I’ve been abstinent since 2018 and In my head I don’t even think about it anymore, Its just something I choose to not participate in. I wont date anymore, because once I tell men my view on sex they don’t want to date when there is no physical relationship. I feel like if a person isn’t interested in an activity stop participating in it, then see how you feel.

[@emmarose6590]

I agree, I don’t sleep around and it makes dating impossible. I often wonder if most men even see women has humans

[@texan903]

When a relationship revolves around sex, one or both parties have probably sold themselves on their bedroom skills. Failing to identify other similar goals or interests outside of sex, makes for a relationship built strictly around the sexual aspect. Take that away, there is nothing left keeping a couple together.

[@citrustaco]

There are two types of partnerships. Romantic (relationships) and platonic (friendships). Relationships don't revolve around sex, but rather sex IS a part of relationships. Most men want to care for you AND have sex with you because we like to be close to you. Men are telling you what they want over and over again, so it's up to you to listen. When there is the possibility for sex, men will want to give their all. They will work harder, do more, want to date you, and want to help you out more. However, sex is NOT a requirement and you just need to be upfront at first. What works for you are platonic friendships. Dating is typically about trying to find relationships. That's why he's wanting to take you out. When it comes to friendships, it's completely different. Assuming you're heterosexual, suppose you are going out with your friends. Are you always trying to foot the bill when it comes to going out? Probably not. Same when guys go hang out with other guys. The vibe is completely different when going out as friends, family, or looking for a relationship. I would not want to go on a date with someone strictly platonic. It's OK to be friends, but I wouldn't call it a date. And as we remain friends and I were to find someone who is interested in a relationship, women tend to get jealous and I would likely cut off the friendship with you. It's something I had to do myself. It's not all about banging chicks, but about finding someone who is compatible. Which yes, would include sex at some point. It doesn't revolve around sex, but it's definitely a component. What exactly are you looking for? Just friendship? That's fine. But do you view a friendship with a woman and a friendship with a man to be any different? I'm talking about your perspective and not what a man is expecting from you.

[@Nikkisweeets]

@@citrustaco Ive been absent for 5 years, I no longer date. When men ask me out I tell them I don’t date or engage in “relationships” other than friends anymore. Sometimes they ask me why, etc. Most of the time thats enough info for them to know to move along. Having a sexual relationship is just not something I have ever been interested in, but I “participated” because when your in a relationship with a man or married that is what is expected. I understand that, and I respect that. But its just not for me, I don’t mind first base as in kissing, but don’t want it to go further than that, which you can imagine is frustrating for men. So thats why 5 years ago, I said no more of this in any way shape nor form and I feel very free now and don’t even think about it anymore. Its just something I dont participate in.

[@Missybella92227]

@@Nikkisweeets Same here Nikki My peace and self love is paramount. I realized that my self esteem and happiness in life is highest when I’m single. It’s very difficult for me to find a man that takes accountability, has his lust and selfishness controlled and is trying to improve himself.

[@denizaygun2514]

No kids… great 🎉 you don’t need cancelling, you need divorce.

[@ashleysalazar2012]

Agreed

[@caseydavis1338]

Fire episode!!!!!!! Love your show

[@SS-fv6cw]

If you dont like sex tell your spouse before you get married. How selfish and abusive you are for not doing that

[@alliwest2023]

Yes seriously ppl just be honest

[@suejohnson4168]

Best gift of love for me was husband sitting with me fir 7 hours saying nothing just bring with me whilst I pulled myself back from full on emotional trigger just silently staring into space with tears streaming down my face. He tried to say a couple of things abd realised not OK and just stayed with me.

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@suejohnson4168 that sounds fun for him! Lol

[@katekrieger4646]

I feel exactly the same way. I’m struggling with child sexual abuse confrontations whereas I had buried it for years. My husband expect sex nightly. We’ve had it every 30 days mostly- every 3 weeks during the good times.

[@BG-nm5xt]

I am sorry. Expecting sex every night, that's not good for you and too much pressure. If he's aggressive or verbally abusive, or doesn't care about your feelings, even worse! Do you feel like a victim with him?

[@sarcodonblue2876]

I am so sorry. I know the feeling. Sexy times is not for me.

[@thelastminmom5251]

@@sarcodonblue2876man. I’ve been married 16 years….and I want sex from him more now than ever. I could definitely do it every night. Although, I am currently a stay at home mom, who teaches classes at the gym a few times a week. So I feel like I have more time and more energy than other wife’s who work full time. I’d probably be less inthused if I had a 9-5. Sooo idk. I just know that I get more into sex….the longer I am married.

[@cgreatthings5589]

This one was dangerous… suuuuper one sided. Lots of red flags that weren’t addressed. Gave her a lot of bullets with no manual on how to use the gun.

[@nochso6835]

This show convinced me that this doctor is a misandrist with little wisdom.

[@atticusandwinifred3274]

Every man who throws around the term misandrist is bad in bed.

[@rchi3906]

If your partner denies your sexual needs , their goin to deny all your needs , their just not that into u , have to suk it up and take the ego hit and move on , your asking for a life time of pain , I’ve been there , after initial pain , learn the signs , you ll know when to end it , til u find that person who finds u to be delicious

[@sackettfamily4685]

Sex isn't a need but a want! I could've gone my entire life without it and lived. But food, water/shelter? That's a need, and frequently abuse is, those withheld. Until or after, you service the spouse demanding sex. Which is not at all healthy or normal! Sex must be freely given and not demanded. Sheila gregior found that sexless marriages usually have forerunners.

[@rchi3906]

@@sackettfamily4685 for men it’s a need , men who don’t get sex , higher percentage prostate cancer , depression , cranky and testicle pain ( blue balls) it’s a need

[@sackettfamily4685]

@@rchi3906 nope....it's a want not a need. Masterbation and night emissions exist for easing things. I'm not saying it's not an important part of a marriage, but it's an option not mandatory.

[@rchi3906]

@@sackettfamily4685 it’s mandatory, ask your husband

[@citrustaco]

@@sackettfamily4685 Of course, sex is a want, but without it, the other person is unhappy. I could go my entire life without a car, but I want one. So I own one. You can give a pet food, water, and shelter, but humans want more out of life. Just give the other person what they want! How hard is that? Your spouse doesn't need to be happy and you can go your entire life unhappy, but don't you WANT to make them happy?

[@wheeliewheelie]

this guys show shows why you shouldnt get married...

[@Cremesure12]

Why do these women even get married then? To torture a man for the rest of his life by providing zero intimacy?? Insane.

[@sackettfamily4685]

Because sex is the only reason we get married? Have sex, cook and give him an easy ride through life? I thought I was getting an equal partner in life.....

[@dougboal7425]

@@sackettfamily4685 Sexual intimacy is an essential component of a healthy marriage. It's not the sole reason or purpose for marriage, but it is an essential part.

[@simi19988]

I don't think it was related to her not wanting intimacy. If you don't feel secure at home and her husband is exhibiting behaviors that she has grown up with and seen in her father - that is causing her to resent sex. That's why Delony said to go for marriage counseling so that she can communicate her thoughts and feelings effectively and both can work together. I think the constant criticism, and belittling her throughout the whole day is not going to create an environment where she wants to be intimate in the evening. Before intimacy comes respect and understanding each other. And I think that was what Delony was trying to get - to the root of the problem.

[@nathansimpson5721]

@@simi19988 what if someone goes through every hoop and obstacle to make sure their partner is safe and comfortable, only to still get completely rejected and dismissed sexually? At what point do you take a step back from constantly meeting their needs and start addressing your own needs? Or is it always 100% about the person with the lower libido?

[@leannesebastian4450]

She saved herself for marriage.. she might have not even realized that she was going to struggle with it. 🤷‍♀️

[@brightpage1020]

Bluey! Great show. Family show.

[@brightpage1020]

It’s The Flinstones of our kids’ time.

[@kaledoniajdubrey9239]

Please eliminate that buzzard noise, I was driving trying to listen and it made me jump a couple times thinking someone was honking at me.

[@TheEsperKing1]

Haha same here! It freaked me out!

[@Elizabeth-uj8vn]

😂😂😂

[@faywheeler8328]

Me too!

[@geewheeler04]

If my husband wants sex and I don't do I still do it? Yes, because if I need something that only he can give me and he said no that would feel bad so why would I make him feel bad.

[@Ss-dz6cm]

So what about when medications are to blame? My meds make the erogenous areas completely numb. There are no other options for me. The options without sexual side effects are contraindicated with my condition. Sex for me is negative not even neutral. I feel sad, frustrated, angry afterwards. I can feel a little bit with viagra but have a migraine for a day afterwards. What do I do?

[@Ss-dz6cm]

I should add that before medication we were a 3x a week couple for most of 20 yrs and now it's one time a month that ends in tears. So this is definitely a change for both of us that is beyond our control.

[@bass3do]

Not get married

[@Ss-dz6cm]

@@bass3do too late. Married with 4 kids and a lot of years prior to this.

[@starlingswallow]

I'm so sorry. I wish I had some tips or advice for you. I had to get off of meds. With my anxiety and depression, I was married to a covert narcissist, and I was also stuffing ALL my feelings. Letting all that stuff come up in a safe place has vanquished my anxiety and depression. Are you ok? Safe? Is anyone abusing you or did you have childhood trauma?

[@Ss-dz6cm]

@@starlingswallowdefinitely not abused. My marriage is really good. My PTSD/anxiety/depression is from repeated medical trauma so not anyone's fault. It is what it is. I tried other methods and other meds for 4.5 yrs before ssri's but my misery was causing everyone else misery and it was actually making my marriage unhealthy. So I can ruin my marriage off meds with my mental health or I can ruin my marriage on meds with celibacy. My husband truly wants me to be happy, but sex has always been important to both of us and I feel like he wants me to do it anyway and pretend it's good. I can't do that. I can't hide my tears when it feels like something being done to me instead of actively participating. I'm on lowish dose of trintellix and it is already the one with supposed least sexual side effects but it definitely does. I have been on it 5 months and it hasn't lessened. Drug holiday doesn't work since half life is 66 hours. Hubby doesn't want me to go off meds since it has helped so much, but also doesn't want to give up sex. I am miserable either way.

[@jeanr8359]

My husband and I didn’t have sex on our wedding day…. He didn’t seem to be into it because hotel wasn’t very private…. But sex life is getting better and better…

[@rebeccaanne8546]

As a single person I feel like I shouldn't be listening to this ?

[@steelsmack]

She probably didn't marry a guy that was hyper critical. He probably got there as a result of him not feeling loved/respected. He resents her for her constant rejection and she's resenting him (and the sex he desires) because of the criticism. Maybe hormonal issues are the catalyst, but more likely it's just a lack of communication and effort (on both sides).

[@TheSalsa1977]

I’d rather watch The Office. Lol!

[@CharlesWalker-jb1yl]

📌.I wasn't financial free until my 40’s and I’m still in my 40’s, bought my third house already, earn on a monthly through passive income, and got 4 out of 5 goals, just hope it encourages someone's that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing in the financial market is a grand choice I made.

[@LeeWalton6]

-.yeah investment is the key to sustaining your financial longevity but venturing into any legitimate Investment without a proper guidance of an expert can lead to a great loss too

[@CatherineMoriella]

{}That's true I know Barymoer. I met him at a conference in New York in 2021 where he introduced us to his business strategy, he helped me cover my student loans with ease and so many more to be mentioned

[@Karagoldberg7]

When I saw testimonies all over the place I thought it was all made up stories till I was convinced and gave it a try and honestly I don't regret the move i made because I invested in a big way

[@Edinkrama]

< ON INSTAGRAM > Or []ON FACE-BOOK[]

[@Edinkrama]

^.Search him by His name "Chrissy Barymoer”

[@beatricemoore2061]

If your husband wants it - yes! Partners- naw! 8:14

[@ManaryFambam]

But a wife will respond ugly if she’s not been met with anything but negativity when she shared has an outburst from holding everything in

[@TheEquiss]

Sex was a disgusting mandatory chore. I’m glad I’m single now.

[@kaidiver4306]

My ex, wanted it every.. single.. day. It was tiring. I worked a lot and she's a stay at home. If it was up to me, it wouldn't happen everyday. Our sex drive I guess, is completely different or in a different level.

[@starlingswallow]

Completely understand. My 1st marriage was like that, but being married now to a healthy, patient, giving man who loves to explore my body, and me explore him, it's been a game changer. It's taken a while for my body to feel safe. Feeing unsafe turns all my "zones" off. Being single is great, too! Way less complicated, that's for sure!!!

[@jasminemariedarling]

My husband wants it every day, he'd prefer it twice a day! Plus he wants dirty pics constantly. If I send them, the next day he asks for more! It's so much. He's some kind of sex addict. I don't want a divorce over it but I completely understand what you said.

[@bee12355]

@@jasminemariedarling your husband needs help. This will be very difficult for you to sustain. Twice a day, every day is exhausting

[@jasminemariedarling]

@@bee12355 Lol yes we compromise and do it about 6X total a week, including hjs bjs. Which is doable. He's been asking for photos, I'm supposed to take more tonight and I'm probably not going to LOL It's too much 🙃

[@tylererickson4062]

Unfortunately, it just seems like all I hear on this show is that if a man want to be intimate the response is always, here is the list of 100+ things you need to check off before that can happen. When it’s the woman that wants to be intimate, it’s 100+ things she must have her husband do for her. The poor woman said she wants to have segs but doesn’t ever feel in the mood, and all of a sudden the husband is the problem. She made zero indication originally that he was the problem in any way. This was mind trickery, that he did with her to get the right responses from her that he wanted. This is why men don’t care anymore. I’m not lazy, I’m just going to spend my time winning at other things.

[@cosmicshy637]

It takes 2 to tango. 💃 🕺

[@tracef195]

The woman caller is exactly why people should have sex before they get married. You need to know if you are sexually compatible. Lets face it, sex is a huge part of a relationship.

[@melstarr1864]

I think it does us a disservice. I think with this “sex before marriage” perspective, people are looking for sex that is effortless, which they have defined as “compatible.” If we can train ourselves to be kind and empathetic, and to be open with communication, we can have a great relationship. You can do that before you even have sex. Sex should not come first.

[@katekrieger4646]

I have not ‘wanted to have sex’ for over 10 years. Is there a pill I can take?

[@peterinnocent6929]

If you’re on a hormone pill try stopping it and going back onto your normal cycle. Hormone birth control pills can really reduce your libido. 13:21

[@ipaycloseattention]

My fiance and I are getting married just so I don't feel like I'm going to hell for having sex outside of marriage.🤷 We're not going to live together or join finances or anything. This is just for my peace of mind about sex.

[@12jbueno]

Maybe this isn't the right man. I highly encourage reading books and or watch videos about a healthy relationship, pray and read the Bible.

[@sisselhansen3915]

Uf, yes, don't become his "mum"!!! I'm sure there's a lot of really sensitive, open and communicative american men out there waiting for a girl like YOU ❤❤ Don't get more entangled with him, he 'll never change, young, beautiful woman!!⏳🇧🇻🕉️☮️❤🎼🎶🎵🎹🎷🎻

[@prlifter393]

What if you provide everything emotionally, economically and try to be physical (hugging on her and kissing her) ...But she still dont wanna engage...what can be done??

[@andrewcombe8907]

The marriage of the woman who resents sex is not going to last. My wife was like that. She hated me touching her. For me it was debilitating and humiliating.

[@sitka49]

Sex is about leftovers - Virtually all couples struggle with sexual boredom. It's because sexual boredom doesn't happen for lack of ideas. Lots of married people with lousy sex lives spend their days fantasizing or "getting new ideas" looking at porno or on the Web. How come these ideas aren't brought back into our relationships? It all has to do with how sexual relationships start out. Its like watching three scenes in a very short comedy. You decide what you don't want to do. Your partner gets to chose what he or she doesn't want to do. There the two of you do what ever is left over. That's your sex life.

[@Annie-cat]

Start watching porn together, having dirty sex, golden showers etc and trust me, sex will not be boring. Less Victorian era uptightness, more open mindness

[@Trial_Junkie]

Divorce him, Gretchen.

[@citrustaco]

He needs to divorce her first. He will never get what he's deserving of.

[@sarcodonblue2876]

She needs to leave this jerk

[@sarcodonblue2876]

​@@citrustaco😂 no!

[@1981lashlarue]

Why is everyone's go-to response nowadays divorce at the first sign of any problem? No relationship will ever last if that's the case.

[@sarcodonblue2876]

If a man can't live his wife and be patient to find out why she hasn't got read hot desire then he doesn't love her. Pressuring her is not helping and he is only thinking of himself . She isn't doing it to spite him.

[@dr.claudia.consolati]

For the last last, please don’t have a child with this man unless he chooses to change. Your body knows that.

[@kenya1067]

I want to wait until marriage but most guys refuse past 3 months. So oh well. My family won't arrange a marriage so I'm stuck here. Plus all I have to talk to about this is random kind internet people who give advice. So idk at this point 😐

[@TheEsperKing1]

There are guys out there who can and will wait. I won't lie, chastity is rare these days. But don't lose hope yet! You could meet him tomorrow! 🙂

[@yewandekoyenikan4732]

Don't give in to pressure. It only leads to regret. There are traditional men who would value that virtue. Anyone who can't has no real affection for you and just wants to satisfy their lust.

[@katekrieger4646]

Find yourself a mormon boy! Thats what I did!

[@Mint-kj9kw]

@@katekrieger4646 Mormon boys aren't Christian.

[@Annie-cat]

Why do you want to wait until after a marriage? How can you buy a car before trying it out? What if he will never go down on you and you end up masturbating in solitude fir the rest of your marriage? Sister, not all women climax from vaginal . Or he may be semi impotent , if he may want something that you may not accept and your eyes would pop out of orbits on your wedding night. Try it out before

[@Marco-fn6kg]

lol damn this women is my nightmare fair play to her she doesnt want it so i dont think she should continue having sex if she doesnt want it. Just to bad for the husband that sucks !

[@emmarose6590]

Tell me you don’t respect or understand women without telling me you don’t respect or understand women.

[@maje5459]

Great advice. Let’s go for pegging in a spirit of openness, joy and blah blah:)

[@stephaniec.5851]

Natural family planning is fabulous, but not very reliable--my parent's were using that method for birth control when they conceived me 😂🎉🥳

[@martasatgo]

49:24 thank you !

[@magdavanderlith925]

If only all couples looked like Chris Hempsworth and Elsa Pataky, I think there would be no intimacy problems😅

[@atticusandwinifred3274]

Even hot people can be bad in bed.

[@papi5377]

A czy kobieta musi być zainteresowana zawszę seksem ? Bo ja czegoś nie rozumiem ?

[@TP-vu3tc]

No sex and intimacy in our marriage for 17 years. Its not a big of issue for neither of us

[@agricolaregs]

Wow.

[@Annie-cat]

Wow, my condolences

[@Annie-cat]

Especially if there is no intimacy, what is keeping you guys together: a still unpaid mortgage, if it is paid off, just sell that house and buy yourself a little condo, find a man you will be happy with. No reason to leave in emotionally abusive relationship. It is not a big deal, it is a Huge deal

[@TP-vu3tc]

@@Annie-cat Dosn't bother us

[@TP-vu3tc]

@natalyalyubynska82 Never said we're unhappy

[@JoyleiaJo]

34:34 some buckets are full

[@Jeff-xy7fv]

LOL Nobody actually "needs" sex!

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

We are biologically built to survive and reproduce. It improves mental health aspects, hormones and chemicals in your brain when in a healthy sexual relationship... But sure, if you want higher odds of depression go for it. Be celibate Edit: to add on, there are studies that show being sexually active improves cognitive function

[@kaidiver4306]

My ex, wanted it Every. Single. Day. and I was the one putting allll the work. It was tiring.

[@alistairhunter5724]

Yes they do . No sex no relationship if you are a couple not a couple of pals .if you don't want sex you need to let your partner go on no fault.

[@1981lashlarue]

@Jeff-xy7fv In the sense that one will perish without it, that's true. In the sense that it's a necessary part of a healthy marriage, then yes, it is.

[@205rider8]

No sex, population declines to zero. Sex is needed for the human race to continue to exist.

[@megja1812]

Yes my husband is so lazy ….hes useless it’s a joke in our marriage it’s why all his gf left him

[@whyworkwhenicanrap6830]

Where’s your friends

[@DoughDashWord]

Yellow mints 😂😂😂😂

[@monicavandeventer5429]

If the woman doesn’t like having sex then the man needs to really figure out why. Is he that bad? If he is, then work on it.

[@abrakadabrah3031]

Food, sex...porn... open relationship... Sustains many relationships... Sum cultures demand virginism...even Evidence of destroying it on wedding night... And then to proceed towards getting pregnant... They can be 14...younger... Sex...kids... It's a duty...in the religious vows... Butt Just described differently... Multiply as Sarah... Be a baby production machine...

[@whitshenanigans]

Real.

[@0flying0unicorn0]

i didnt have sex till i was 28 and i also dont care about it now, i feel like waiting that long rewired my brain in a way, i enjoy the intamacy but dont care really, seems like the last girls issue too

[@reneroo277]

Honey...sounds like your dad was a narcissist and then you married one. 😢

[@JoyleiaJo]

"seek to be WITH"

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

Freak flag 🚩- 🤣😂🤣😂

[@AGirlNamedVan]

Lol when people give their best days to other people and their husbands must get the scraps and be Happy with it .. Aaaand then cry when the men go elsewhere. Then don't be married

[@sarcodonblue2876]

Being in a relationship means both partners see all sides of each other which is what makes it more challenging.

[@nochso6835]

Very true comment.. People give their best - makeup, smiles, stylish clothes, positive encouragement and jokes to others at work /outside... Then come home and give your partner unwashed body, slouching around in old tshirts, and cutting down with verbal burns and general low effort. Damn

[@AGirlNamedVan]

@@nochso6835 that ls Hella sad. A thing I've observed and am determined to never copy. Home should be a place both man and woman will want to come home to at night.

[@WPwillsavetheworld]

Somehow it's the man's fault for not making her feel 'safe'....shut the hell up sometimes john and tell her what she owes her husband.

[@glitterstarbeau]

Gross

[@NachoAE360]

Hope no woman ever touches you again

[@sarcodonblue2876]

Yeah and that is why the birth rate is falling as more women are saying get lost. Men will never realize this

[@Duchess_Bananabread]

​@@sarcodonblue2876Yup.

[@nochso6835]

John has been... compromised lol

[@megja1812]

Yes my husband is so lazy ….hes useless it’s a joke in our marriage it’s why all his gf left him