Is Tammy A Narcissist? | 1000-lb Sisters

[@courtneynagel8556]

Tammy is an extreme version of how learned helplessness can bring down not only the person with it, but those around them. People with victim mentality kinda scare me because I’ve got a giver personality, and if I don’t resist my own tendencies, these people can take advantage of me more easily than I like to admit.

[@skyc.j4571]

As a Person who has a victim mindset (cptsd and bpd also agoraphobia)wich I'm working on hopefully soon with psychotherapy. I can testify that at first u might not fully comprehend the way u can use a person or feel entitled to help. But ad soon as u realize it's ur chance to better urself and give back to the peoole that supported u throughout when u where sick. It's hard so see Tammy cause I can see some parts that in not proud of reflecting back to me like a mirror but with pain comes change ,the power is in our hands . We are not helpless.

[@annanieznanow1788]

Poor heart 💜 Take care of you, someone has to do it 🙂🌷

[@unknownunknown5822]

Same! I have a giving personality and was a target for so many narcissists. It's spooky for sure, it makes all the normal people look predatory and alters perception of regular people things.

[@lamppuu1]

@@unknownunknown5822 i learned this the hard way.. now i've gotten to the point of always analyzing a new person so i don't get hurt / manipulated. Especially in a workplace, im exhausted of always analyzing if someone's going to use you for their advantage / betray you.

[@Chasstful]

We should be very clear about this, Tammy is an attention hog, because she's on this TV show. It's all about this show, without the show, he's a big fat nothing. This isn't about anything in the real world.

[@leix7]

I wish everyone would leave her alone for a week so she can see how much people actually do for her.

[@Nikki_the_G]

It wouldn't work, she would just blame them "for her suffering". But it would do THEM a world of good to walk away.

[@cl5470]

She knows how much they do and enjoys it.

[@melissa6912]

She would just whine about how "selfish" they are, she knows how much her family does for her, but to her, it's just normal.

[@xminusone1]

I would have let her alone long long ago. I don't want to be talked down by someone who weight as mutch as a small car and struggling to speak normally because she's too fat. Addict that do nothing about themselves to fix theirs addiction don't deserve attention and to be helped. If she want help from me she'll need to be VERY polite and stop shoving food in her face first.

[@Duhgel]

@@xminusone1 This is the truth homie

[@maraw8658]

She’s very manipulative, but the family enabling her is a big part of the problem. Tell her to figure it out on her own, leave her alone, and see what happens.

[@TheHammerofDissidence]

They should leave her in the woods.

[@ifeelfantastic1014]

True

[@thehillisalive]

She'll probably spend the rest of her life saying horrible things about her family, but at the very least she would probably get a little healthier solely because she'd have no other choice

[@gotchalmao3047]

@@thehillisalive Well she already is saying horrible stuff to her family, there wouldn't be really a difference imo

[@SurahOnline]

@@gotchalmao3047 - *Exactly!!* 💯

[@PuebloNoBueno]

Tammy has been in a downward spiral ever since Amy started to surpass her in weight loss. In the beginning, she could at least take solace in knowing that they were doomed together. She can’t say that anymore. Amy is thriving, she’s a constant reminder of the life Tammy didn’t think they could ever have. A loving marriage, a happy family, a child and independence. She’s been depressed for so long she’s convinced herself that her life was always destined to be this way. Her sister’s presence is a cruel taunt to her, you can see it in the way she speaks about Amy for just existing. She knows the only power she has left over Amy is guilt. So she guilt trips Amy into wasting more of her life with her as opposed to enjoying her new life with her family.

[@Martina-Kosicanka]

Excellent analysis

[@panama2468]

Well said

[@xminusone1]

People with a victim mindset don't find inspiration in the success of others. They're just jealous and try the best they can to take down others achivements. People should never feel guilty to succeed or being stronger. They should be proud of themselves.

[@JesusLovesTheLost]

@@xminusone1 Amen!

[@akaiyoru2681]

Misery loves company

[@ashura4627]

The weelchair part really surprised me. As someone with a disability, when I got my first mobility aid (a pair of crutches) I felt so happy and relieved. Finally I was able to be independent, finally I could do stuff by myself! I genuinely don't get people like her.

[@suselperez2409]

The more independent she can be, the less she can use the victim excuse to manipulate people. She's got serious control issues.

[@calamaria9221]

She definitely doesn't want to be independent. Every time she gets something that would mean more independence (the electric wheelchair, the electric countertop stove) she hates it. And now she's upset that Amy is finally moving on from taking care of her a lot so she can take care of her baby. Even had two weight loss buddies so she wouldn't have to feel she was alone in losing weight and she gained weight. I think she loves the fact that people have to take care of her and she can just lay there and keep eating.

[@sarasamaletdin4574]

I don’t understand how the family even pushed her. The wheelchair must have been great and they strong and no uphill. I struggled to push my 110 pound grandmother uphill and I do work out even if I don’t have best arm strength (better legs from running).

[@kokeskokeskokes]

@@sarasamaletdin4574 Next time try pulling, much easier.

[@LongDrink]

I think Tammy enjoys making other people around her have to do things for her. Hence why she hates the electric wheelchair and electric stove. She wants to be helpless so she can continue controlling everybody around her in some way. She doesn't actually want to lose weight because then she feels perhaps she'll be all alone. She's always the center of attention, and secretly likes it that way. She seems to like the fact that her just being herself dictates how everybody in her life has to live and affects every action they do.

[@bubblebrainbow]

Right, she doesn't want to do anything that gives her agency over her own life. That would take away from her victimhood.

[@PuddilyOops]

🎯 she LOVED disrupting their vacation and their family dinner. She projects all the time, “Oh it’s always all about y’all!” Yeah Tammy other people want to live their lives and enjoy things too. Why they put up with a minute of her nonsense I’ll never know.

[@krisdiane]

Bingo. And none of the family members quite seem to know how to call her out and shut her down. They need to read up on narcissistic behavior and how to defend yourself against it.

[@arianekelly2633]

@@krisdiane simple. Walk out the door. She cant follow them.

[@Chasstful]

We should be very clear about this, Tammy is an attention hog, because she's on this TV show. It's all about this show, without the show, he's a big fat nothing. This isn't about anything in the real world.

[@MileinaJuarez]

My mother is similar.nothing is ever her fault. The only time, she was having contact happily with me, was when I was obese and a bit heavier than her. She basically stopped talking to me, after I went from almost 250 to126 pounds. She still tells people that I had surgery and other treatments and pills, to lose that weight and sometimes even tells people , that I become a drug addict and became thin therefore. She can’t accept, that I was able to lose weight in a healthy way, because she has the mindset that it’s impossible and not her fault, she can’t do it. I would have loved to help her with losing weight but she refused it.

[@Maggy47]

Well done 👏

[@Poorstargazer23]

Congrats on your hard work! Over 100lbs? Amazing! 💜 I'm sorry your family isn't supportive. It's not something I'd wish on anyone though lots of us have to live through it. For some of us lucky ones, we come out stronger for it, even if it means leaving that family in our past.

[@Blox117]

you're female you're exactly the same

[@keepthat5054]

I'm sorry you had to go through that with her but it's lucky you're aware and can hopefully rise above and understand it isn't about you it's her fault 😤

[@MileinaJuarez]

@@keepthat5054 thank you. I now understand , that my mother can’t deal with the fact,that I took responsibility and changed myself. She can’t claim it isn’t her fault, when I had the same issue and fixed it, by taking responsibility and changing. But now, it’s only her issue, not mine.

[@JoJo-ie8sl]

Every time I hear someone bring up Tammy, I'm genuinely shocked that she's still alive :(

[@ReginaApple007]

35 is extremely old for someone her size

[@agravery223]

I think at this point- the public is just waiting on the inevitable news...

[@50possumteeth86]

I mean the last official update we have is her going to rehab again and having lost over 100lbs

[@JoJo-ie8sl]

@@50possumteeth86 I really hope she turns it around but she's lost the same 100 or so and put it right back on for the past 6 years

[@maesskell]

Bad people tend to live longer.

[@seforagaccione8874]

I used to be 244 lbs. I struggled doing everything (I suffered from very severe obesity even if my weight was litterally the HALF of hers). I used to play the victim, because i was struggling moving and doing exercices. Then I stopped. I started moving my a** little by little. I started walking a little bit (without going too far from my capabilities), modifiying my eating habits (without extreme diets), i started lifting light water bottles and doing easy workout, even just 15 minutes a day. At the healthy weight of 130 lbs, now, I attend the gym 4 times a week because I LOVE IT and I am able to do everything by myself. It all happened when I stopped playing the victim and understood that I was just a victim of my stupid comfort zone of food. I wasn't a victim but a slave of myself and my weight. 1 year ago, 10 jumping jacks where too much. Now they are nothing. I WAS THE ONLY OBSTACLE.

[@dylanmorgan5589]

244 ain't even that big, but it's rarely ever the size that's the primary issue. It's the weakness and the mindset. Weakness is easy, just do some daily excercise and make it a habit. The mindset is the hard part. My older brother is 270 and has shown a passive intrest in loosing weight but getting him motivated is hard. He could literally be 3 times as strong as me and loose 70 pounds if he'd just keep trying. Hell passively fallowing a bad routine would get him to his low level goals. Part of me wants to be a dick and force him, but deep down i know he's a grown ass man and his weight isn't my problem. I see your story and i just think man, lots of people are really making it. The end must feel so great because i know having 100 day 1s is aggravating.

[@YouTubeUzername]

Omg how tall are you, 4’8? I was running 5K’s when I was in my 240’s.

[@dylanmorgan5589]

@@KZbinUzername to be fair running is about health, strength, and conditioning more than weight. Weight is a factor but far from the primary factor. Being heavy and unconditioned is the worst starting point but going from that to miles of running is impressive no matter how you look at it. I know if i was 240 pounds I'd be struggling to run 5k right now. Weight can trick people into thinking they are more fit than others when they really aren't. At 240 pounds is good to get fit then focus on weight loss after. No need for the extremes of genuine obesity. Also consider that 5ks are when distance running starts to become hard for the average person to complete. I know you're proud but don't loose perspective or belittle. There are normal small people who struggle to run 5k and these people aren't exceptional in theur weakness. I know you don't mean to hate but your comment may come accross as harsh. Don't judge the starting point, she clearly grew past it.

[@seforagaccione8874]

@@KZbinUzername i am 5'7.

[@juliewelch9679]

Love this

[@janejones7638]

Amy has always acted like a mother to Tammy. Tammy has used this to her advantage in the past. Now that Amy has actual children who need her, she's unwilling to be manipulated by her anymore. I think Amy sees leaving Tammy behind as almost like leaving a drug addict behind. You can only help an addict so much before the addict has to do the hard work themselves.

[@RubyBlueUwU]

I’ve been a victim of many things, but people like Tammy have made me do my damn best to never fall into the victim mentality. Knowing these people is exhausted, caring about them is torture, I never wanna do that to myself or anyone else.

[@genderlesswhale2868]

Yes this. I have asd as well as trauma from childhood and I try so hard to lessen the ways that I'm burden; I know in some ways I always will be, but that's what my family is okay with. We communicate our needs and when I do have energy, I do as much as I can. Arguably I have an unhealthy opposite of Tammy and value myself less than others though. It's tough. Can't stand it when people are so unappreciative of others. Makes my blood boil. (Sorry for this wall of text, I hope things are going well for you now ❤)

[@onlybyautomobile]

Yesss! I always try to check in with myself to feel gratitude, even for the smallest things. It doesn't negate the bad stuff but it helps shift my focus away from it.

[@aliciabrandt7889]

Yes! My mom has a victim mentality. One of her favorite phrases is, "I didn't have a choice." I used to argue with her and say that we all always have a choice, but it fell on deaf ears. I can't understand her thinking, and I don't have to. Instead, I'll do what I always have...I'll continue to never fall into victim mode, no matter what life throws at me!

[@chaoticevil9800]

My grandma is similar to Tammy, she has always been really heavy and had struggled to do things herself. My family and I have helped her my entire life and she is really inconsiderate of people's time and spreads lies when people won't help her. Me being the most recent example, it is really hurtful for someone who I helped so much to spread lies making me the bad guy. Many bridges have been burned and there isn't much left of mine.....

[@tntmx]

I read your story, and it's like I'm reliving the situation with my mom. She literally ate herself to death, and passed away 6 years ago. I do miss her, but this terrible personality trait of hers, definitely don't. I hope your situation gets better, and if not, burn that bridge, otherwise, you'll burn yourself.

[@RubyBlueUwU]

This comment made me realise that my grandma was a lot like her, too…she would yell abuse at my grandad while he did everything for her. I can’t fathom believing you’re entitled to help from people who get nothing in return, not even some kind words. Everyone was always there for my grandma, all she did was complain about them.

[@Anna-po1sb]

I’m always curious how those people got married and had children + a relatively long life. People would cut me off for much less in my life…my parents kicked me out from the house because I had psychosis and needed serious help. They were like, yeah fk that, go figure it out by yourself.

[@excelself]

Main reason I don’t speak to my father and brother both are narcissistic and I just couldn’t handle being around them.

[@kyeotzu]

I have a similar story but for my ex best friend of 8 years. She started taking me for granted and felt entitled for a lot of what was supposed to be goodwill; I would help her as a friend but it almost became like i was supposed to. It didnt help that she wasnt thankful at all; but manipulated me into thinking i wasnt a good enough friend. She shamed me multiple times for being entitled and that i was supposed to be thankful for her insight and honesty - because i was just so unlikable. I didnt notice her manipulation up until she would shame me for having no intergrity for submitting my essay late when I helped her with her own essay; she had to constantly drive the narrative that im a bad person and that i was selfish. I was done. I finally cut off ties, but emotional manipulation and abuse that last for years, really have lasting effects. She is a good-looking girl, who was naturally good at socialising; and attending the same classes as me. Right now, i struggle with extreme anxiety for school as i have to face her; and not knowing who to trust as the entire student body believes her narrative. Its horrible. Emotional manipulation is bullying and a form of mental abuse that has lasting and damaging effects. Everyday i cry.

[@miaomiaou_]

Omggg “they need to be thankful I can wipe myself” 🤯🤯🤯 No Tammy, *you* need to be thankful you can! It’ll be so embarrassing for her when she can’t any longer 😣

[@lilitharam44]

No, she won't be embarrassed. That's the sad part. She'll just expect everyone else to do it for her.

[@cece2005]

I think it's extremely dangerous that she knows she can manipulate the people around her due to them being not the brightest of the bunch... very sad to see a manipulator at work

[@emiiii]

It’s not so much that they’re not the brightest of the bunch. It’s that she uses their unconditional love for her to manipulate them. It’s like she’s perpetually on the ledge threatening to jump off unless they do what she tells them to do.

[@_kikizaman_]

@@emiiii exactly. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

[@cece2005]

@@emiiii true they all have such kind hearts

[@tiktokexposed898]

Her family still puts up with her because theyre on TV

[@TheMrsarahanne90]

No... they put up with her because if they didn't she would just... die? Wtf? I think that is a very rude comment. I'm not saying not to cut toxic people out of your life but it not always a simple situation.

[@melissag8270]

Ahhh the wheelchair situation! “Is it for me or is it for them”? I feel that is a narcissist trait. My brother is a narcissist and whenever someone does something for him it is questioned, like nobody could ever do something for them without a motive

[@doesntmatter4477]

Ya shes pathetic and weak but its equally her family's fault. Also how do u know ur bro is a narcissist? Don't diagnose ppl with a guess. Not saying ur wrong just doesn't help to assume. I have sibling issues too so I can empathize with yah

[@gayboixd6482]

You sounded exactly like Tammy quoting her, it’s amazing 😂😭

[@KianaDocherty]

i've watched all 3 of these seasons SO many times at this point to make these videos hahah.😂😂😂

[@gayboixd6482]

@@KianaDocherty it’s honestly fab!!

[@ange9057]

I literally thought it was Tammy until I saw Kiana saying it😳😳

[@timmah7874]

I also got kind of a Bobby Hill vibe too, but that could just be what Tammy sounds like.

[@kenterminateddq5311]

@@gayboixd6482 I agree. 0:50 Kiana almost sounds like Tammy, except when the camera is showing Kiana nervously laughing lol.

[@littlemissfreedom]

I'm a psychologist and I've worked with addicts for almost 10 years. Narcissistic traits are common among addicts and that's why I usually don't give both diagnoses. Tammy's behavior can be explained with her addiction, no other diagnosis needed.

[@marinetter.8423]

really? anything else you know about?

[@kayla123ism]

So do you think if she somehow over comes this addiction then will she be nicer? More grateful?

[@littlemissfreedom]

@@kayla123ism To overcome her addiction she needs to learn a different way to deal with her feelings. Which includes taking responsibility for them - this would affect her victim mentality and make her easier to be around with. So yes, I think so!

[@laurengriffin7804]

I can see that. I'm open to the idea of Tammy being a narcissist, but I think back to the times that Amy stated "Tammy has gotten meaner over the years". If she IS getting meaner, that wouldn't really fit NPD, but her escalating addiction would explain it.

[@inoclasism]

So malpractice. Yeah, I won't go to your office.

[@bubblebrainbow]

... Does Tammy EVER do or say ANYTHING nice at all? Even if she was my family I would have to cut ties with someone so mean spirited.

[@SurahOnline]

For Real!!! 💯💯💯 she ONLY says nice things about her feeder boyfriends 🙄

[@kathybrem880]

I’d just walk away from that lump!

[@melissa6912]

@@SurahOnline And the "friends" she parties with.

[@xminusone1]

For sure. My family would had let her alone a long time ago. Nobody is entitled to receive help from theirs family members.

[@marsh6714]

Amy said in an old episode that Tammy's behavior has burned bridges and she's one of the very few who can take her in, which is why it's mostly been Amy and Tammy

[@buckingmachine]

Tammy Slaton is the definition of learned helplessness. Plain and simple.

[@SLRModShop]

I feel like I'm suffocating just looking at her... How does she even breathe?!

[@GiGitteru]

She doesn't, that's why the breathing tube is there

[@Smiteforce]

I had a family member pass away who always played the victim and would constantly burn bridges with people because of them not getting fast food for him. To put this into context, he was in a nursing home for diabetes. His foot was amputated and all be cared about was who was the next person he would pay to get him some McDonald's. It was truly sad and seeing this video helped me understand him

[@unknownunknown5822]

I finally moved away from an abusive narcissist overweight sister recently and I can literally see her in Tammy. I'm also reading books on narcissism to cope with the trauma from my family and yeah, the most narcissistic ones also happened to be the ones who literally couldn't change a habit to save their life. I remember my obese family members pointing at me and saying that I don't deserve my own body while also eating poorly and never exercising. It's insane. I had to stop watching this video because I was having flashbacks to my family but as always I'll leave a like because I appreciate your efforts to better society 🙂 I also just can't eat and look at Tammy's face at the same time it's literally impossible. I'm sure there's some link between narcissism and general inability to change habits though, because narcissists believe they are absolutely perfect while the world is trying to strike them down.

[@TheAdrift]

That sucks, and I’m sorry that happened to you. As an overweight person and narcissistic abuse survivor myself, we’re not all like that, I promise! 😅

[@lunacouer]

@@TheAdrift Awww. I'm the same (overweight, narcissistic abuse survivor) and most of us who are overweight aren't narcissists. We all have complicated reasons for being however we are, as well as complicated reasons for behaving how we do. But it's not a direct correlation. I agree with you Unknown Unknown (lol, love your username) - it's the narcissistic attitude of "I'm not the problem, everyone else is the problem" that's, well, the problem, lol. Why change anything you do if you think you're perfect? Why bother with self-reflection when you can just project all your issues onto other people? 🙄 It's totally insane for your _family_ members to somehow feel threatened by you for just...existing. The utter entitlement of them shaming you for having what they want, without doing the work to have what they want - it's crazy-making. I hope it's a bit better for you now, being away from all that. At least a little more peaceful, while you navigate your own recovery.

[@karaleigh_eva]

Relating to Amy’s anxiety when it came to sharing what should have been happy news to Tammy really struck home

[@jenniferburchill3658]

I knew someone like that eons ago... manipulative and a fat blob. She would reward your kindness by taking advantage of you.

[@xminusone1]

Exactly. I wish you good luck with your life. You did the right move. The only good thing about having lived with narcissist is yhat you can spot them from far away now.

[@escalatedfangirl7202]

I feel like it's pretty common for people with addictions to take on some narcissistic traits because fueling their addiction becomes the most important thing to them and they do it no matter if they hurt themselves or others in the process. Narcissists only care about their own wants and needs and disregard others and so do a lot of addicts when it comes to their addiction.

[@applegal3058]

Wow, that's so true. I have never knew a true addict, so I've never experienced this. Crazy how addiction can make you hurt your loved ones.

[@bleedingbellybutton9403]

Yup

[@MRPandoraHartDR]

If I recall the episode right, her ulterior motive to kicking up a fuss was to get a hotel room so she could 'sext' with the BBK and her family wouldn't know what she was up to. This being the same guy she'd made a big drama about they'd broken up and he and his friends were now harrassing her over the phone to the point she'd called the police.

[@LouisianaGirly]

Yikes!!!

[@mobious01]

How is it humanely possible to sex something that big?

[@missmoxie9188]

I remember

[@lindaleighton]

Tammy should have been left to her own devices a decade+ ago. Constantly catering to her has only allowed her to stay in this mentality. Can't be fixed now.

[@zizi6538]

Their family I would never do that to my family I would help them loss weight cuz I don't want them to die they need to be more challenging towards her and not allow to date men that enable her

[@arianekelly2633]

@Lalogue or get a driver to send her home to be by herself.

[@arianekelly2633]

@@zizi6538 1. You cant help someone that refuses to help themselves. 2. She is a grown American woman. Her family does not have a say in who/when she can date.

[@Chasstful]

We should be very clear about this, Tammy is an attention hog, because she's on this TV show. It's all about this show, without the show, he's a big fat nothing. This isn't about anything in the real world.

[@dylanmorgan5589]

My mom woulda killed her. She almost killed me when too many carbs fucked up my blood sugar literally once. She woulda starved Tammy out of spite. No joke, my mom didn't even let a blind girl make excuses. Granted that time was actually a valuable life lesson in self reliance. Tammy could use that harsh lesson. "I need someone to push me" "You got feet" "I can't make it to the kitchen, it's too far" "Die then"

[@MandalaBunnyhome]

All of the clips you showed were things that literally made my jaw drop. I really wish her family would stand up to her more and call her out. Falling into her victim mentality is enabling her to keep acting like this. Side note I'm from Kentucky and idk if it's a southern thing but their family dynamics are very similar to a lot of people I know. Feeling a need to take care of family, not confronting people because of an obligation to keep the peace, etc. And these families (including my own) usually have a person like Tammy that sucks up all the attention and sympathy, and everyone else complains about them behind their back but doesn't do anything. To be fair I think it's because trying to intervene doesn't really help, I mean how many times have they tried to help Tammy and nothing has changed? So they just keep her around bEcAuSe FaMiLy.

[@xminusone1]

No one should be entitled to help from theirs family members. I came from the northern part of the Quebec province, in Canada. I'm born in what was called at the time Eastern-Germany or FDR in German. I escaped with my mother when I was a child. We don't have that way of thinking. My father is French-Canadian. And were I live, it's frowned upon to help anyone who doesn't help himself first. You have to show and even prove that you're willing to do something about yourself before anyone help you. Family members and friends will just discard you without a second thought if you act like the woman in the video. And they will not feel bad about it.

[@roseinfinityy]

Kindof off topic but about 7 years ago I was watching a Tammy Amy KZbin video while babysitting, and one of them made a really high pitched screech noise. The family's cat then proceeded to attack me because of it and I'll never forget that

[@LouisianaGirly]

YES!! My jaw dropped all the way to Hell when I first heard her say that! Tammy is so entitled, she is a bully, she is quite a narcissist. All three of those things create a monster, and she is one of those. Tammy needs to get her life together and stop treating everyone like her slaves because that is EXACTLY what she does. When Amy told her "if it aint for you or about you, you throw a little hissy fit, it's always about you" and Tammy had her little toddler UGH!!!! moment we all know and love, that is all I needed to see to understand exactly how much self awareness Tammy actually has.

[@kippylily]

I sadly have family members like Tammy and they will never EVER think their a problem. The most logical move for them is to completely cut her off to catch a break and reassess if it’s worth helping her anymore. I get that you never give up on family when they’re trying to break an addiction BUT when they have no regards to your feelings, is it worth years of trauma and headaches??

[@lesliearbogast1]

I agree

[@glenysmorehu2765]

She's a nasty witch d has no intention of loosing weight

[@Duhgel]

No, it's not worth it. I am so tired of them but myself as well cus they brought me down with them, now I'll try to rise again, it's the only way.

[@suselperez2409]

She's never actually tried.

[@arianekelly5715]

Nope. I wish they would leave Tammy to her own devices for a while. IF she survived, I can't help but think there would be a major attitude adjustment.

[@iceprincess2134]

I agree about the narcissism claim. My grandmother is a narcissist and she commonly talks about how everyone mistreats her (they don't) whenever we don't reflexively cave to her unreasonable demands and insists only certain people can do a given task for her even though as a form of control.

[@michelleobama201]

Wonder when Tammy will finally kick the bucket. Her behavior and attitude surely shows no willingness to change. If she does pass on, I'm sure it's all be a moment for the history books.

[@msmaria5039]

Not sure, she nearly died a few times already. Like Chris said, every day is a miracle.

[@lori3670]

One thing i've learned about narcissists is that somehow they live a lot longer than they're expected. I genuinely wonder why. it isn't always the case but in my experience it happens more often than not. And yet they tend to be so unhappy and their reality is so distorted? i guess the secret to a long life is not giving an f, like they do? lmfao jk

[@ailurophile4341]

@@lori3670 That's because the Lord is merciful and is giving them plenty of chances to change and reflect.

[@Chasstful]

We should be very clear about this, Tammy is an attention hog, because she's on this TV show. It's all about this show, without the show, he's a big fat nothing. This isn't about anything in the real world.

[@panthercat38]

narcissists die when people take their lives back.

[@ispeakewok]

My mother in law loves this show and she is so much like Tammy in that she thinks everything in her life has been completely out if her control - she fully believes she is a victim of her circumstances and there was nothing in her power to change how things turned out. Its so weird watching her comment on Tammy and her behaviour.

[@poponachtschnecke]

I've never noticed before how much Tammy reminds me of my great grandmother who became bed bound after not doing her physical therapy exercises after back surgery. The painkillers she was on had a huuuge role in it too. My hatred for her diminished a lot after I had to take painkillers after surgery, and learned how easy they make it to not care about the feelings of others who seem to have it easier than you.

[@KaylaMarie_]

she gets offended whenever someone suggests that she do something for herself.

[@suzz1776]

Omg, her sister has lost soo much weight. And she has a baby now... such a cute babe. And good for her sister. Sry I forget her name cuz the only time I watched anything about them was at the very beginning. But o wow, so proud of her sister. 👏 edit: her name is Amy, I think

[@marcobarrueta3409]

Her attitude could be immediately fixed overnight by simply completely abandoning her, she treats them as beneath her because they always give in to her demands.

[@Creepystalker102]

Wow that part about the electric wheelchair… did she seriously have someone pushing her before? Who in that family is strong enough to even do that? And for how long? Or maybe that was when she was significantly lighter

[@PuddilyOops]

Ikr? Like her poor nurse has to be jacked after all that.

[@arianekelly2633]

No, they still push that 600lb dead weight.

[@Nikki_the_G]

@@arianekelly2633 And therein lies the problem. They enable this behavior constantly.

[@arianekelly2633]

@@Nikki_the_G yup.

[@inubaka07]

Wheels help when moving heavy things.

[@katherinemorelle7115]

I wonder what it would be like to not constantly worry that I'm being a burden- to feel entitled to the help I get. I'm severely physically disabled. All that stuff that Tammy says her family is "lucky" to not do for her, has to be done for me. I'm effectively half paralysed, but with issues up to my neck. And I've been known to not wake people up even if I need something, because I feel so guilty ruining people's sleep. There is unfortunately, a real societal narrative about disabled people being nothing but burdens, and most of us are super sensitive to that. so someone revelling in that is honestly beyond me. Also, hearing the things I need help with used as threats to hold above the heads of her family, that sucked. And throwing their gifts back in their face, gifts that so many disabled people would kill for. I love every bit of my equipment, because every single thing allows me a measure of independence I wouldn't have otherwise. I love most of the Slaton family. Except Tammy. Their mum is not a good person, so I can't say I love her too, but at least she's funny. Tammy is a black hole of narcissism. And narcissism makes sense- because it often comes from childhood trauma and is a way to make up for extreme lack of self love. Most narcs aren't super confident, so the whole victim mentality/martyr complex thing is VERY common. Much more so than the grandiose self confidence people usually imagine. No one is as self involved or selfish as the perma-victim.

[@xminusone1]

I agree with that. I had a girlfriend who was blind. Never asked help to anyone for anything she could do by herself. Sadly she passed away when I has her boyfriend. The cancer that caused her blindness returned and spread to her brain. She was a lawyer and the most solid person I ever known. I used to look up to her and I still do. When I was at the death doors, waiting for my liver transplant last year I didn't pray god. I prayed for her to help me. When I received the call, I was at days of dying. The first thing that came to my mind is to thank her for helping me. Disabled people can be looked up to. They usually are very courageous and have alot of willpower. Addicts on the other end are usually selfish and will do anything to fill their addiction. Sorry for the very long answer but what you said remember me about her.

[@katherinemorelle7115]

@@xminusone1 my condolences for your loss, she sounds like she was a wonderful woman.

[@saaraabee]

Yes, the "they should be thankful" stuff was nuts!

[@beequeen626]

In season two, when Tammy says to her brother "all Amy does for me is buy my groceries, cook my food, do my laundry and occasionally take out the trash. THAT'S IT!" That's when I knew she was a narcissist

[@chickenindoubleC]

Thanks for the video, Kiana! I always get so excited when you have new content. I've noticed you put a lot of effort lately into getting out more videos and yet your quality stays the same. I really appreciate it. You are one of my favorite KZbinrs and what makes you so great is your attention to detail, your empathy and understanding, and your dedication to explaining facts. A lot of the other channels that are similar to yours are just too judgmental and treat their opinion as the end all be all. Thanks for another great video!

[@chloeariel2769]

Had a mini mental breakdown tonight after feeling like I can't get back on a health kick or break bad habits. This video felt like a sign from the universe and the push I needed, I just bought your guide, so stoked to read it! Thanks Kiana, love your channel!

[@Shell.29]

You can do it! Would you mind posting an update when you read the guide?

[@chloeariel2769]

@@Shell.29 thank you! And yes definitely.

[@TP-dt7gy]

So glad to see another video! Just wanted to say watching your videos has really helped me tackle and understand binge eating and loose weight/work towards a health diet. Lost 5 KG (about 10 lbs) in 2 months, have drastically reduced my cravings for sweet stuff! Thank you!

[@blowmanuts9584]

Hell yeah dude! Keep it going! I've lost 25 in 2 months, trying to put on muscle now, keep the positivity and keep at it

[@TP-dt7gy]

@@blowmanuts9584 that is amazing! Very well done!

[@lori3670]

That's great! keep up the good work babe!

[@pastelcolour]

May I asked what worked for you? I have a sweet tooth and am still trying options that help with craving sugar

[@blowmanuts9584]

@@pastelcolour fruit honestly works wonders for me, I crave sour candy a lot and I get out of season green grapes to quell it. It's decently sour and satisfies the craves

[@annefrank7005]

I just find everything about this.. so sad. I can't believe Tammy has reached such a state and I can't begin to imagine how much pain she in in, physically and emotionally. I know you look at her behaviour and view it as selfish and narcissistic but I see a human in a very dark place that does not value life or themselves and is just.. eating themselves to death, unable to stop their own destruction. I don't know how you even help someone like this. She needs serious professional therapy to address her psychological state. It's very sad

[@ashes7245]

And unfortunately you can't force someone who doesn't want the help to get it :/

[@Ninialzh]

Finally!! I was looking for a comment like this :(

[@arthroku-juroku8481]

it’s a shame really. tammy has a super supportive family but doesn’t appreciate them.

[@yasminemobley7858]

I wonder what would happen if they decided to just stop helping her. My eyebrows furrowed each time she said some entitled nonsense. And I love that Amy called her out, too. "If it ain't about you, you throw a hissy fit!" That part!!!!!

[@rremac0001]

And here we are again. Just ugh I love your channel and your personality. These videos are sooo beautifully done, keep going as I look forward to each of your videos and seeing what you have to speak about next

[@paulaunger3061]

Another great video :) I love your deconstruction of Tammy's behaviour. She's certainly selfish and the victimhood thing is in overdrive, but narcissism is such a trendy word at the moment and, as youo say, unless you're a trained therapist, you're really not entitled to make that diagnosis. But this is a lovely ana;lysis. Of course, Tammy's life has moved on considerably since these episodes were aired - I really hope she's getting better now and getting the help she needs.

[@ferindies8606]

Hey, I’m not a therapist, I’m a family doctor, and I’ve never diagnosed anybody with narcisistic personality disorder, but, it turns out that narcisism isn’t a diagnosis, it is a characteristic, so you don’t have to be a psychiatrist to know someone is a nacisisist, or a little narcisistic, but you do in order to diagnose “narcisistic personality disorder” which has certain criteria for diagnosis.

[@rikumajumder1558]

It is something how strong our bodies are especially our knee lol, to abuse them to the extreme and still somehow being alive. It's really a miracle.

[@sopyleecrypt6899]

Absolutely, it is amazing how much strain Tammy’s musculoskeletal system, cardiovascular system etc are able to take. But it will get harder as she gets older, possibly rapidly. She is 35 now, her heart and vascular system, will become less resilient and flexible over the next 5 years or so. Her already very limited mobility will get worse unless she works to strengthen her muscles. With so little movement they her muscles must already be very weak and wasted. She’s already had some near death experiences. Sadly I don’t know how much longer her poor punished body will be able to keep going.

[@Taywanee]

If you want to see someone in the opposite end of the spectrum, search for Eugenia Cooney. The human body is truly amazing at keeping people alive even when they’re not taking care of themselves in the slightest.

[@rikumajumder1558]

@@Taywanee Nah, her story is different. She is, or at least back when I saw her, was trying to get better. She was also relentlessly attacked by Fat Activists and her former 'friends' who forcefully admitted her to a hospital when they legally or morally shouldn't have. Her whole life saw her getting bullied even though she is a sweetheart from what I have seen back in the day. But I get what you are saying.

[@Taywanee]

@@rikumajumder1558 she never tried to get better. She left rehab as soon as she could and is even more emaciated now than she was when her friends had her admitted. She’s also not a sweetheart. She has continually invalidated sexual assault victims, and blamed one of her viewers when they tried to let her know that one of her twitch mods was soliciting inappropriate messages and photos from her subscribers

[@rikumajumder1558]

@@Taywanee That's a lie you told at the end. She closed down the Server as soon as she learned. Rest I don't know. I now know where you are coming from, the Tea Channels who constantly harass her every move. You are disgusting. Please don't breed and stay away from me.

[@Maerahn]

I think she's become so insecure about whether or not she's truly loved that she now uses both her dangerously high weight and the helplessnesss that results from that as a tool to 'bind' her family to her. I think she's genuinely terrified that, if she lost enough weight that her family no longer needed to wait on her hand and foot (because she could now do all that stuff herself,) she wouldn't see them for dust - they'd all drop her like a hot brick. And the saddest thing is, if that were to happen, it would be because *she* drove them away with her childish and selfish behaviour, NOT because they didn't truly love her after all. She 'guilts' them all into caring for her and putting up with her crap because she's convinced herself that's the only way to make them stay, but doesn't think for a second about how that makes being around her a miserable experience for all of them, day after day.

[@autumnknowsitall]

As someone who was almost 500lbs. I came into this video wanting to defend Tammy because I’ve been in her position. But I came out with a different perspective. Was I the issue? Was I the one with the toxic trait’s 😂

[@smith9157]

Some good self reflection congratulations!!

[@nonoson4167]

Eating healthy is so hard. Even focusing on that too much can become orthorexia. When I have issues with binging/restricting I really have to try so hard to eat normal meals. I'm not always successful but everyday is a new opportunity

[@genderlesswhale2868]

It can be hard to /not/ adopt a victim mentality, especially because a lot of us heavier folk are that way because of mental health reasons/ past trauma etc. Good on you for taking that step in questioning yourself. While it's important to be patient and kind to yourself about your own limitations, I can say first hand that it's easy to slip into 'I can't do this because I don't want to' without even realising it. Baby steps to progress and constant, non-judgmental self reflection are your friends. Forgive yourself for things that are hard but don't let them stop you from taking baby steps toward progress. There's always something you can be doing for any sutuation; that's what I believe in.

[@jeanneann3545]

Hello, this may seems ignorant, but I suffer from anorexia ever since I was 4 and I kinda uhhh kinds 'cured' when I was 13. I say kinda, since when Im stressed I will go out of my way to starve. In a way, is your journey gaining weight are the same as mine losing bunch of weight? Stress? Or there is other factors?

[@keepthat5054]

Losing can be so hard especially when you are so accustomed to a lifestyle and every time I've had to lose weight I've felt hunger and it's Justin very hard. Remember to love yourself always!

[@bruh666]

Amanda was possibly my favorite this season. Her reactions to and about Tammy are honestly iconic, she takes absolutely no bullshit yet always keeps in mind her love for tammy as well, like when she brought tammy a gift.

[@villanas]

So happy you've posted. Thank you for your quality presentation and content

[@j.thomasgough4284]

While it MAY be located somewhere on the Narcissism scale, her behavior seems deeply fear based. If she admits responsibility for anything, for example, she will have to begin taking a bit of responsibility for her own choices and condition. If she does not continually demand to be the center of family activity, her family will move on without her. If she isn’t helpless, no one will have a reason to interact with her. Tammy seems terrified, unable to face her terror, and unwilling to try and overcome it. Like a lot of clinically narcissistic people her whole sense of self is invested in manipulating other people in order to feel significant.

[@roshanbanoo8316]

I could have easily watched an hour of you taking about this topic! I mean maybe she scared of feeling guilty or responsible for a bad situation?! Because she got very bad punished for every small mistakes she made as a kid?

[@Facetimecat]

Side note, Kiana you look stunning! Your hair is giving me serious hair goals 😻 (currently growing mine out) Thanks for the great video!

[@chasecalvert6227]

Kiana- you are one of the biggest motivators for people who want to make life style changes. I appreciate all your help and you’ve helped me out a lot. Thank you!

[@ladyjatheist2763]

there is a time when someone like tammy needs to LOSE EVERYONE around her, then MAYBE she will open her eyes to all the love her family gives her, all the selflessness they have shown. Sometimes, it's more helpful to WALK AWAY from someone like her.

[@flacataco]

yayy u posted!! ur so amazing for posting so often, i can tell u put a lot of effort into ur videos

[@KianaDocherty]

thank you !!! i'm figuring out how to be faster i think lol

[@giiacoia]

as a hard of hearing person, thank you so much for captioning all your videos. it makes a huge difference 🩵

[@tianag8513]

I would LOVE to be Tammys caretaker. She'd learn real quick that people aren't there for her convenience. Her family is doing everything they can to help and she takes every act of kindness as someone percieving her to be a burden. Theres no way I'd put up with that. I cant believe her family continues to do this.

[@claudiokabanata3325]

I feel sorry for the family. Imagine going on a drama filled vacation.. caring, pushing a giant not so cute adult baby that yells at you for helping😬.

[@PhoenixRising1310]

When you have only ever received negative attention, it becomes your fuel. Of course she doesn't want to lose weight, if she did she wouldn't have anyone around at all because of her attitude. The family has little choice but to visit her as she is because she can't move.

[@FronteirWolf]

When I got out of mental hospital, I started feeling really depressed, although not as depressed I was when I went in. I was glad I was in supported living because it meant my family didn't have to worry about it so much, and were able to continue to recover from the events preceeding my admission. I don't want them worrying about me because of my mental illness.

[@LnzMQ]

She is the exact opposite of what I want to me. I m going to be mindful that I am not using any of her tactics (subconsciously or otherwise) on her family.

[@abeingthatishuman]

What scares me the most about Amy's condition is that I could see myself getting to that point if I didn't make changes in my life. I struggled with over eating and emotional issues so knowing how it feels to start that path is even more emotional

[@realemmcee]

Great video. I think a lot of what holds Tammy back from committing to any sort of long-term health goal is the idea that if she's no longer the family problem, she won't get the attention she's used to.

[@madeleineperry9679]

I wasn’t aware of how much I can do until I had to. Tammy was the same. This dynamic worked for her.

[@eleniandthecards]

I don’t watch 1000 Lb Sisters, but Tammy is infamous. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was a narcissist, or maybe suffering with BPD.

[@Noelitall]

Bpd.....really

[@Katie-mw7pd]

She doesn’t seem calculated enough to have NPD, but honestly that could in part be because she’s just not very smart. I have BPD (I’ve been in treatment for years so it’s pretty much under control and no one would know unless I told them) and she reminds me of people I’ve been in DBT groups with who dropped out really quickly because they don’t want to put in the work and self-reflection required to become a better person.

[@christinerodriguez3976]

She manipulates them because they let her and she knows she can. Her family needs to stop ✋️ and give her tough love. Tammy is extremely lazy and doesn't see how she caused this situation for herself. I have no respect for her.

[@themacksterr]

I’m loving the constant uploads! Thanks Kiana!

[@witchypoo7353]

This is I really respect Tammy’s care taker. She don’t put up with her shit. She makes her do shit for herself

[@baby.spooky]

Always enjoy your videos!

[@drchops]

All of your videos are so professionally and perfectly presented, edited, mixed, paced etc - I feel like you could (and should) make a million dollars for your skills

[@ghost-ez2zn]

Former fatty here. My highest was 270 ( I'm 5'6"). I was bullied in mercifully in school and by family but I NEVER thought anyone was to blame except me. After lots of therapy I realized that family was definitely part of the problem, but I am the one who had to change. It took time but I managed to change. I feel that Tammy needs to be left alone. She is awful and by tolerating her abuse her family is enabling her to be so toxic. She won't change and she is going to die. Apparently that's what she wants. Good riddance.

[@erinmccutcheon3751]

Well, those bullies CHOSE to bully you. My mum would've told them all off for their cruelty to you and should have more compassion towards you. Glad to hear you lost the weight now.

[@Kyarchuu_draws]

I’m glad you improved your health but honestly it should also be on parents to provide a healthy food mindset with their kids. I can’t believe that they just bullied you instead

[@yildizozlematesdemir1207]

I've been watching Kiara's videoa for quite some time now but this one in particular enlightened me in a totally different level on a totally different subject. My mother is Tammy in a weight-unrelated way. And my aunt is the same. I will do my best not to become a "victim", their victim - this cycle has to stop.

[@angellane1848]

so many people in America can’t afford wheelchairs whatsoever, or are stuck with outdated ones - this spoiled grown woman has a $3000 motorized wheelchair GIFTED to her, and rather than being grateful, she’s ANGRY? then donate that chair to someone who will appreciate it!!

[@annwilliams6438]

Simple solution. The whole family tells her that they will be leaving her completely to her own devices for an hour…. They do it. If she complains, do it for two hours… complain again; 3 hours.

[@leahv5892]

This behavior didn’t happen overnight. This is a lifetime of learned behaviors. Her family shouldn’t be shocked or horrified. She’s been like this for decades.

[@joywebster2678]

The mother seems to be a similar type.

[@leahv5892]

@@joywebster2678 their mother isn’t capable of empathy. I think she worked his health care, which is disturbing.

[@lizzieck2576]

In the end, Tammy behaves this way bc the family allows her, specially her co-dependancy relationship with Amy. Time for everyone to set clear limits and stop babysitting for a grownup.

[@Ranger_Steve]

I think the only way Tammy can be “fixed” is if she is shown she truly has no power, no authority since she is being so cared for. Once someone feels powerless, that’s when they see the truth about the situation.

[@s.melonita4454]

These need to be longer 😭😭 your 1000 pound sisters content is top tier!

[@Sydb862]

Great video as always Kiana! You always share such an informational and unique point of view. I hope we get a season 4 of 1000lb sisters just because it would be amazing and even motivational to see Tammy finally change her mindset and be able to have weight loss surgery

[@jackburton2148]

I love how low key back handed this video is, it gives me LIFE!!!!!

[@diannholland]

I think that there needs to be an intervention. Tammy's family needs to know that they are NOT helping Tammy at ALL by "Helping" Tammy. Tammy needs to be taken OUT of this "Family" dynamic. Especially for the mental sake of her sister Amy. AND for the health and well-being of that new baby. They need to put Tammy somewhere where her environment is 100% controlled. Where she has NO CHOICE, and the family needs to be told that there is NO WAY they are allowed to see or talk to Tammy until she is "Better" whatever that means. Yes, I am aware that this sounds cruel, But Tammy's behavior toward her family already covered that.

[@lauraanne5175]

I adore you and your book. It has helped me and a few of my clients as well ( have used a few of your exercises with them, so thank you). wish you much joy and happiness

[@JOHN----DOE]

Right on point. These huge people are addicted to being taken care of by their enablers. And some of the enablers seem to be addicted to taking care of them. Codependence from hell.

[@winderofcoils]

I recently learned that the biggest way to tell if it's just addiction as opposed to narcissism+addiction is brief moments of accountability. An addict will have moments of clarity where they can admit that they are ultimately responsible for their condition. A narcissist will never do that. It's always someone/something else.

[@tayk.t.523]

Totally underrated comment. Nothing against either people with NPD or addicts, but as someone who grew up with a mother who was both, victimhood was her main ploy into getting whatever she wanted- she knew this, hence never taking accountability for herself.

[@alibi990]

Never clicked so fast for a video hehe

[@suzehartman]

I come back for the subjects you choose to talk about, but honestly you are the real reason I love watching your videos, your energy makes me so happy and you always make me laugh, your smile and giggle is amazing 😂❤

[@RhamanaChan]

Tammy boggles my mind. I have MS and am unable to stand or walk due to it, I would kill for that electric wheelchair they got her, I'm waiting on having my home adapted so I can cook in my kitchen properly again (having worktops I can get my knees under and height adjustable things like sink and stovetop) I can't wrap my head around WANTING to be so helpless.

[@msg4925]

Watched this last night on the tv (YT app) and watched it again today so I could like and comment. You’re one of my favorite channels. Your videos are so re-watchable.

[@Dubois_tada]

This makes my blood boil. Urgh it’s so infuriating to watch people get away with mistreating others. Its not just that-she also gets REWARDED for it with care and attention. I would have never helped her once she showed her complete lack of appreciation

[@CerebralTombstone]

I know it’s not the point of the video, but I love how dark hair looks on you. The color is so elegant and rich! Seriously, this is the best your hair has ever looked!

[@HadesHatredEdge]

Tammy is "victimhood is power" in a nutshell.

[@TifBannen]

Beauty AND Brains! Just found your channel today with the ABC segment. I really like your content, precise editing and factual analysis. Scent (; a link to my woman to check out your sponsor. Keep up the good work!

[@jenhasken]

This kind of behavior comes from deep pain.

[@Sammy_Francis]

Yes

[@andrewmartinez7559]

That’s not an excuse

[@Sammy_Francis]

@@andrewmartinez7559 it kind of is an excuse though… because it’s an addiction like no other with some highly complex psychological and physiological components… And actually, this type of excessive and morbid obesity is very very rare. When people are 20-60 lbs overweight we can all say it’s no excuse because this is the kind of weight gain we could all put on if we allowed ourselves to over indulge in our western lifestyles, but when someone is 450lbs overweight, that’s turned into something else that most people just cannot imagine or achieve - even if they tried hard to eat that much. Most humans just cannot eat that much - they just can’t. I am always minding my calorie and carb intake and I’m always worried I will put on weight - because I could easily eat more crap. I could easily have an extra slice of cake, some chocolate or a large packet of jelly babies, on top of my normal diet and slowly put lbs of weight on, but I stop myself. If I decided one day to completely give up and eat whatever I wanted and not stop myself, I would still never be this big. This type of obesity reflects an eating disorder. I had eating disorders years ago but did the opposite and was underweight. It’s like an addiction and a disease with a psychological need for control. Excessive weight gain can happen where there is an excessive sensory need and aversion and fear of feeling hungry - that’s more psychological than it is greed .. it’s complicated and similar to how some people are compelled and have strong urges when they have OCD or bipolar or self harm tendencies, anorexia, drug abuse etc etc … all very different but all very complex. I am not one for stating that “it’s beautiful” being fat. I don’t like all of this body positive stuff, but equally we have to have empathy and understand that this is a real problem and a real internal battle being fought

[@crawfor24]

That is why Dr. Proctor said to exercise in the pool. I'm overweight myself and have some pain in my knees that is why hydro workouts are the best. Some facilities have you walk on an underwater treadmill too. Tammy loves being the helpless victim.

[@whistlingstarlight2942]

Update: Tammy's reported to have recently lost over 100lbs and qualified for weight loss surgery. Sounds like she's ready to and working on improving herself both mentally and physically, I really hope for her sake she can stick to it.

[@lillianbingham3094]

You are genuinely one of the most beautiful human beings i’ve ever seen