Is The Avoidant Responsible For Your Feelings When In A Committed Relationship?

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In this episode of “Can This Be Fixed” on the Thais Gibson Podcast, Thais is joined by Co-host Mike DiZio to answer a mix of audience questions about relationships.
Why are we attracted to people who get under our skin, or who trigger our deepest core wounds?
What do you do when a dismissive avoidant shuts down and stonewalls you during conflict?
Is there such a thing as too much empathy? How can you balance being empathetic towards others with honoring your own needs?
Tune in to listen to fruitful discussions and find answers to all these questions!
Let’s connect!
/ @thepersonaldevelopmen...
/ thaisgibson
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/ thepersonaldevelopment...

[@user-cu7so2zs2b]

Omg that was so helpful hearing Mike's showing up securely and then being rejected, mainly because I'm getting the courage to show up securely and vulnerably and being rejected. I'm ok because I've mastered nurturing myself. But if someone had said that to me on a date, and I am someone who really struggles to be on time (although I do call and apologise and try hard to be on time) I think I would have teared up to hear a man being so gently vulnerable. Thanks for demonstrating it. I get so much stonewalling, gaslighting etc that I don't know what it looks like. I mean I don't know what being gently vulnerable looks like or sounds like.

[@lilove6560]

Appreciating letting us eavesdrop on this conversation/podcast format. 💗

[@peacepantherproductions]

I like this format a lot

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for your kind comment :)

[@Being_Water]

5:30 start here… Absolutely.

[@f135ta]

Love this format!

[@PaigeYesLee]

Thank You Thais… for Everything 😊❤️🙏

[@alexdookhoo1389]

I enjoyed this video alot ❤it was very interesting to hear the different experiences you both had and also about the different attachment styles, very informative👍🏽. Keep up the good work Thais😀.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for your kind comment Alex :) We're so glad to hear that you've found great value out of the content !

[@f135ta]

@15:56 - Raising the issue of being late - doesnt necessarily have to be about the actual lateness. Sometimes its useful to raise it to see how they handle the 'conflict'

[@theplaylister]

timestamps?

[@helenemakuch8366]

Did I miss something? What to do when you are being stonewalled...never saw that addressed?

[@austinsmith3755]

....I thought it was just me lol

[@troyanstone65]

It's so clear that DA and FA feel triggered the moment an AP shows care or thought or is straight up asking questions. In the dating scenario, she asked, "so what do you think?" It's because she was trying to eliminate worrying for hours or days anxiously wondering if he liked her or wanted to go on a 2nd one, it's pre-empting anxiety and trying to eliminate it. DAs think anything caring,warm or loving is TOO MUCH and are suspicious of it cause they didnt get it as children, feel not deserving of it in adulthood and cant match it emotionally and so it produces resentment and an uncomfortable feeling of being less than. If a DA feels they dont know the person after a date its because they didnt ask questions but seem quick to be critical afterwards for the other person to have not told them more about themselves. DA cant be bothered asking, they seem happy not investing and making assumptions based on what is given to them and then complain that it isnt enough (which is ACTUALLY their core wound). So interesting and yep, no answer to the stonewalling title, unless l missed it somewhere.

[@helenemakuch8366]

@@troyanstone65 I'd prefer to hear from Thais about this. Maybe you have an anxious attachment style and so it makes sense to you since you would act this way? I find it desperate behaviour and my stop signs would be going up for sure. I am not avoidant.

[@troyanstone65]

@@helenemakuch8366 Every side has perspectives for the others to understand. They each are adopted strategies from trauma for safety, none are wrong but the willingness to understand from the others perspectives can only be useful imo. We are all here listening, learning, vulnerably sharing our thoughts. Everyones sharings are valid and that is the beauty of us all here, learning together. 💖

[@helenemakuch8366]

I am not here to listen to what you have to say. You are not the professional here but you seem to think you are.

[@chrismaxwell1624]

I think we should responsible for our own emotions. We can ask for support when we are emotional but ultimately it's up to me to responsible for my emotions. It's not someone else job to responsible for my emotions. They have no control over my emotions. They can help to make it the experience worse or better but the responsibility is mine. I don't need to let my emotion run amuck and take my anger at myself out on someone else. The emotion will pass in short time and I'll be good, help me by giving me space and understanding so I can regulate my emotions.

[@leannebracey862]

But you didn’t talk about the stonewalling?????

[@aquaintsound]

Some good content but i was looking for information about stonewalling which wasnt here.

[@JasonScott_tt]

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[@Papi.Amaziah]

I needed this today 🥲