It's not easy to make friends anymore | Bedtalk ep.14

[@just_iny333]

"It's not about quantity it's about quality." Never been more true when it comes to people in your life.

[@Mirzeli13]

I turned 39 this year, and I'm realizing how lucky people are to have at least a good friend or two by their side. I currently have ZERO and it may have to do with me turning more to an introvert and homebody. Most times I just want to do my own thing and not be bothered. I do feel like there are lots of people out there that feel the way I do and we are a group of loners lol. I don't need to be with like-minded people but it sure helps to bond a bit more. Anyway, I have anime's and k-dramas that entertain me and keep me distracted. I wish I had a friendship bond like BTS has, they truly do love each other and there's nothing fake in their bonds.

[@ThizisDanny]

just like you said there are so many loners who are all saying that they are lonely but for some reason we cannot connect :( don’t know if it’s the problem of the modern society… Most of the times I’m ok but there are just few moments when I really need someone to talk to

[@cathyardon956]

People in my circle don't understand how I can go eat, take in a movie, or go to the museum by myself. I guess they haven't have the experiences I have had. Going with someone can be worse than alone.

[@roselamoure]

@@cathyardon956 there was a time I used to go everywhere alone especially the movie theaters and girls in school would make fun of me for that but I don’t care because it‘s often times better to be alone than with shitty people

[@ShayC143]

Girl I can relate 100% to you! Kdramas and BTS have preoccupied my life but I'm grateful. I rather be alone than with mutiple fake friends.

[@jaitsadi-gee]

@@roselamoure Kinda like the meme "I'd rather eat crumbs with bums... Than eat steaks with snakes" right? 😂😉

[@kona6695]

As an introvert it’s really difficult for me to start a conversation which left me with only a few close friends. And sometimes even those friends seem like they aren’t really interested in me being their friend. Not that they ignore me on purpose or their behaviour is different towards me It's just that I feel left out even when I'm in the group. Nevermind.:)

[@ThizisDanny]

I realize it’s also important for us to open up and take a step for our friends to open up and take a step. maybe your close friends felt that barrier like my friends did?!

[@kona6695]

@@ThizisDanny guess you are right.. Btw your bedtalks are really calming. Would love to hear more on the topics like study, future plan and career. 🍀

[@kimmikimsan9065]

I have a feeling maybe you’re different people who make an effort to meet half way. I find that admirable. But maybe you haven’t found out each other’s strengths and quirks to balance each other out. A lot of people love to speak and have attention, I cannot stand when “democracy” is something you need to fight for. Sorry for my analysis I’m just trying to see if our experiences are similar

[@MoonLight-eh7ok]

Really thoughtful. I kinda feel like all your bed talks would make a really good mini book with cute illustrations per bed talk - different little stories within the book :) I would read ☺️😁

[@ThizisDanny]

ohh I better look for an illustrator haha thank you for the idea :)

[@TheWyolady]

Absolutely!

[@jazzcd4346]

Add some recipes 😋 or even suggestions as to drinks like specialty teas or other calming drinks to consume before bed. Maybe it could be a product tie-in? I wouldn't mind so much as I know you research them and if it came bundled with the book??? Pretty cool! A book, tea cup and teas.

[@michellemckinney4678]

Audio book with his voice would be nice. It find it soothing.

[@ferlintan8777]

In general, making friends is not just a matter of how many friends you have. Especially in this modern era, where people are busy with their own activities. what is more important is how you maintain the quality of your friendship so that you can become a true friend. Always supportive, positive and trustworthy. So the point is to have few friends but quality ones..that's enough.😊

[@copaqueen]

As you get older, you get wiser. These are life experiences and we learn from them. We learn who are your true friends when you are going through something, they show up for you. Glad you you are finding your way!

[@ThizisDanny]

Yes they do but I wasn’t sure if I have done the same for them :( And maybe why the connections didn’t feel so strong. I guess it’s never too late

[@copaqueen]

@@ThizisDanny it took me awhile to see who are my true friends…Real friends are very forgiving & will be there for u no matter the situation. They will be there. I think you have good judgment & know who are your real friends. Congrats on your new business venture! 🙏🏼

[@fredfonebone5108]

I must have missed that “older is wiser” thing. I’m 60 and I’m just getting dumber and dumber. :O

[@zinebabf1576]

@@fredfonebone5108 lmao you had me rolling with your comment 🤣

[@jamesilott7148]

Having been divorced by my wife at 69 , living in a different zone with no family, loneliness not being alone .?. presents a real nightmare. As you no longer fit in nightclub, or music venues like you use to and seldom do strangers talk to you. Then you become even more depressed and isolated ...Live for today while you are young with a your peer group you miss them later when friends are nolonger there..Thanks for honest and interesting videos Dan.😎

[@donnaubeda7187]

The older you get the more you know who your true friends are. Be with those that make you feel good about who you are.

[@Ariber1]

It's about trying to get friends in order to 'get' something out of a friendship. The real friendship is to find out who I can help.

[@ThizisDanny]

that also may be true :)

[@I_scream576]

The best thing I learned yet about friendships was that every human being is selfish, it's as natural as having 2 hands. Don't expect anything from them and prioritize yourself no matter what! 💪

[@clareflynn3558]

I’m a lot, lot older than you and what you describe is all part of your personal growth - knowing the type of person you want to be and life you want to live. Friendships are like flowers in a garden and you have limited space and time. Decide on the ones you want to invest in and cultivate. They’ll develop deep roots that can withstand a storm…. and occasionally do a bit of weeding to make sure strays are not putting ones you value in the shade. There’s a saying that people enter into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. You’re learning to sense the difference and investing your trust, openness and commitment accordingly. Really enjoy your bed talks. Always gives me food for thought….even at my age

[@Collycharm]

I am an introvert. I listened to your bedtalk and thought to myself that is the exact reasons why I don't believe in having a lot of friends. I am someone that a friend or two works perfectly well. Thanks for the candid talk.

[@nofakejustfact]

The only faithfull friend who stays most then anybody is your partner. Because people after get married , neglect and distant theyrself from friends. But go even closest to the partner. Even If you would brake up some day with partner, the ordinary friend is the one who would leave you first to get her/his own life path

[@josephinenobile1594]

Tx Dany great topic. Younger it's easy to make friends but harder when we are getting older. I love that saying : "make new friends but keep the old cause one is silver the other is gold". And real friends are few. If we have more they are only acquaintances.🥰🥰👋

[@dani3640]

Acquaintances are great but friends you only need one.

[@outofthedarknessandintothe1538]

I love meeting new people and making friends. These days everyone is to busy to put in the efforts for good quality friendships.

[@gwen8468]

Danny you are a sweet soul with a heart of gold. It’s not easier sharing these thoughts with people you don’t know but I guess at the same time, it’s healing for you to acknowledge these thoughts and what better way to share it…with ppl who support you from afar. People in our lives come and go, some are here for a purpose…some fill in the time. As time goes by you will work out who belongs where. Trying to please everyone is impossible. I have old friends who I see maybe once in a blue moon but every time we meet, our friendship is the same as it ever was. We understand everyone is busy with life…they are the true friends. I’m glad you are in a better place now, it’s all a learning experience. You figure it out as you go and grow… for me, a handful of true friends is much better than a tonne of pointless ones. If you ever feel like there’s no one to turn to….your danscribers are here for you. 🤗

[@ThizisDanny]

I know it’s weird but sometimes it’s much easier and comforting to tell you guys here and tell my friends or a phone call! I guess that’s probably why I go live when I feel down and to know that a lot of people who supports me share the same thoughts and hardships with me gives me some comfort! Thank you :) I’m here for you guys too

[@gwen8468]

@@ThizisDanny definitely not weird at all. Just don’t go LIVE middle of the night lol…you need to sleep🙈

[@kellifedds6358]

Thank you for sharing. I've had similar thoughts. I used to have a lot of "friends". It was great for going out to clubs and parties. However, when I had problems or needed advice, they weren't there for me even though I would always listen to them. I went through a lot of heartache because of that. Now, I have only have a couple of friends and they are worth more than all of those others put together. I guess it is a learning process we all have to go through.

[@ThizisDanny]

I think for me , I wasn’t always a good friend either and that’s why a lot of my friendships ended or faded..

[@ariane1758]

So i am happy to bé called your Friend 🌹🌹💋

[@PulcherIkhthyes]

I deeply relate to this. When we're young we somehow were conditioned (by society/family/tv/etc) to believe that the only way to do well is to make connections. But making those connections were really costly and exhausting. I ended up losing some of my friends and myself along the process. The stress it brought me made me physically ill and I spent a lot of time after each outing trying to gather my sanity (by sleeping or just hiding in my room and disconnecting from the world). One of my really good friend didn't give up on me she managed to get a hold of me to tell me that we haven't seen each other for a long time and that she missed me. That was my turning point where I started to evaluate my choices and path. It was then that I remembered the saying my grandfather used to say to me 'if you can have 1 confident in your lifetime then you've been lucky'. We are still really good friends but our lives have taken different turns but we make an effort to see each other to catch up and to 'keep it real'. Love this bedtalk and looking forward to your next video.

[@Barbara-rr2hs]

I am 36 years old and I have friends that I have known since we were 6/7 years old, with them I have always talked about everything and more, and they are true, sincere friendships, then over time we move away, study, work, life itself, which puts us to the test, and it is precisely at that moment that true friends return, to be close to you, to help each other. Only lately with them I can not open up to say everything, but I do it only to protect them, so as not to worry them further, I say that everything is fine, I always smile, but I see in their eyes that they do not believe me, because when they know each other for so many years, we understand each other even without speaking.

[@ThizisDanny]

Sometimes, friends who have that much deep connection as yours, know even if you don’t say it. Just like family ..! I personally think it’s ok to tell them instead of holding it in by yourself because it could hurt them to see you struggle in pain by yourself…

[@Barbara-rr2hs]

@@ThizisDanny I find it easier to let off steam maybe here in chat, than looking at the people you love in the eyes and tell them your anguish, your fears, I can't do it, they've always seen me strong, enterprising, sporty, competitive, and I don't go and tell him I'm not always like that.

[@Barbara-rr2hs]

@@ThizisDanny When I'm sick they notice it, they are the ones who take me to the emergency room, but I can't tell them that I'm afraid, that I think I can't do it, I'm afraid to leave my child not to see him grow up, I'm a fatalist it means that it had to happen, but when you have children you have to feel good for them.

[@Barbara-rr2hs]

@@ThizisDannyI am comforted by the fact that I am very very lucky, in bad luck, because it happened to me and not to my son, and I hope that he never experiences this suffering. I've seen parents torn by grief ...

[@gemarts137]

I hear that. I did sort of the same thing & went on a quest to meet lots of people. I realized eventually you find the people you really click with amongst each crowd. Real friends are the ones you feel like you can naturally open up to & does so back to you in return. So because I'm pretty open about myself, true friends are the ones that open up back to you & you find those close friends. When they still hold back I stop putting in effort.

[@MinSung931]

That's so true as I'm a shy girl until you get to know me or if we have things in common I'm quite talkative (especially when it comes to bts) but then again I find it super hard making friends otherwise

[@hirmehta6639]

rightt, I'm like that too. Once I start talking with friends who I trust, I can't stop talking :)

[@ThizisDanny]

I’m talkative also but depends on the people also :)

[@inke08]

Friendships arre like any significant relationship: you get hurt and withdraw to avoid getting hurt again. Funny enough it was when I opened up about my pain to what I thought was a superficial friend that he sat with me and listened. His advice still stays with me: we all feel this way and have felt this pain, even the people that seem like they've got it all. I decided to be brave and have trust as my default setting. The people that you can share comfortable silence with are my closest friends and the moments where I can fully open up. Everyone wants to be loved, we just express it in different ways x

[@elvirahaydter2940]

This materialistic world changed everyone's perception on what is truly relevant in our lives these days. Learn to know who you really are first. Dig deep within and find out what is your true purpose in life.

[@ThizisDanny]

Yes! one of the reasons why I makes these series :)

[@bernadett5821]

Soulmates are rarely... these people where you can be really honest, say your darkest thoughts and be safe, because you know they wouldn't judge. Would wish everyone found one...

[@brigitte4698]

You are so right with this. I am 45 now and lots of people came into my life, walked a while with me and than took off. The interest is not the same for everyone about you. Today I have one real friend and I already know her since 1st grade in school. Makes it 38!!! Years. Wow that’s long. When we go out we always have a lot of fun and can talk about everything….you just need one good one in the end. I am very lucky. But I think you are right, it’s not easy at all to spread your life and trust to others…. Thank you for the video 👍🏻😊

[@marakichrist157]

You are absolutely right..is better to have few good friends than having a lot and in the end they hurt you..

[@majae001]

It's hurtful, but refreshing at the same time. Don't limit your heart because of past hurt, it's ok to be cautious. Friendship is a process of slow growth...

[@thesoulmedics]

Great video and completely understand it. In my 20's I spent my time being a social butterfly, having super intense friendships that seemed to come and go so quickly and always left me feeling lost when the friendship wasn't what I thought it was. As the famous quote says "when you try to be everything to everyone, you accomplish being nothing to no one". I also think social media has a big part to play in this because FOMO is real and we all have a version of ourselves we want to portray to the world. As I moved into my 30's and dealt with some tough times, I learnt that like most things in life, its the quality and not the quantity of people in your life. I don't know if it's because I have become naturally more introverted as I have got older, but I would much rather have a handful of people say "happy birthday" and cheer me on, knowing they genuinely mean in, rather than 100 people who don't. I think this is part of learning to be confident, secure and comfortable in your own skin, and learning to not need or crave the validation we get from others to feel complete. It's self preservation to try and keep people at a certain distance, a learnt behaviour from previously being burned, but keeping the world at a distance is a lonely place sometimes and sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. Great video and hope the renovation is going well!

[@annabellak4033]

This makes perfect sense to me. when you love people care about them and in some situations, do whatever you can to help them and they stab you in the back, it hurts, it hurts a lot. You don't want to open up like that ever again. And there are people that are loving and kind and honest just like you, just like me but they're alone too because they've been hurt and they don't trust, so we're alone but not really alone and someday we'll have those those relationships that we so greatly deserve. Love you and be your best company and enjoy the beauty of this big world.❤💪

[@stephenhere6896]

I listened to this video a little over a month ago and frequently it has come back into my mind as I pondered over the things you said, your hopes, your disillusionment in the past. It's late for me now but I felt I should listen again to what you were saying. There are a few lines I recall from a television series I watched many years ago that has stuck with me. It goes something like this - When you start university you are excited, you want to take part in everything, you want to know everyone, you want to be involved. When you start the second year of university, you spend most of your time ridding yourself of the people you met during your first year. Think about it, it makes a whole lot of sense. For my part, I never consider a person a friend if I have recently met them. They are no more than associates, people I happen to come across and pass a few words. The same goes for people I used to work with, I never regarded them as friends even though I would be with them for some eight hours or more a day and occasionally went out for a drink or a meal with some of them. They were no more than colleagues. School friends, university friends - I use the word "friend" here very loosely - they were no more than people who occupied the same space as me for a short time, they might have felt important at the time but that time is transient. In fact, many decades have disappeared since I left high school and I know just one person from that time. We haven't met up for over 20 years, and before that likely met up in person 3 or 4 times in the previous 20 or so years, but we do have email conversations several times a week. We don't even telephone one another! But I know I can discuss anything I want with her, and she does the same with me. Everything from politics to religion, the price of food to studies (she has returned to university now she has retired from work to complete her Masters in Fine Art), and I listen when she vents about her partner, she listens when I vent about needing another 30 years at least to do even some of the things I have in my mind. There are times when I think it would be nice to speak with someone, have some company, but, in all honesty, I really can't be bothered going through all the hassle of going out somewhere, making small-talk, wondering if this guy or that guy might be worth a bit more time or whether he is only interested in if I am going to pay the bill or support him if he gets into any kind of trouble or has problems with family. Again, you will have gone through this already and will know what I mean. A neighbour is just that, someone to nod politely to or say good morning. An associate is someone you might work with or even meet up with occasionally for a meal, a coffee, some small talk. A friend is not someone you meet, a friend is someone who you realise is still by your side (even if metaphorically) years and years after you first met. I think I realised this a few decades ago when I walked away from a lucrative contract and gave up my work and business interests. I saw that there were many people I knew, people who wanted to talk to me, hang out, appeared to show an interest in what I was doing - when all the while they offered their "companionship" in return for my paying the bill and for them to be able to brag to others they "knew" me. I smile now because they actually knew nothing about me. What did I do afterwards when I found myself jobless and almost penniless? I woke the next day and smiled. I had drawn a line, yes, but in my case it was drawing a line between the past and the present. Nothing in the past mattered, it couldn't be changed, so there was no point even thinking about it. I learned quickly how to enjoy my own company, how to do things for myself, how to enjoy even the small things in life that I had been far too busy before to notice. I carried on writing, I guess it was in my dna, but realised I was now writing for myself, for my own contentment, not writing to any formula to try and please publishers or readers, not even considering normal publication. And it makes me happy knowing that I am living for myself and not having to worry about rushing off to meet this person or that person, prepare for meetings, compromise, give up valuable time in order to satisfy others - who I knew were not friends and never would be friends (perhaps I have a different definition of friendship?). Politeness is essential, help others where possible, but never to the detriment of yourself. And, if you are not happy with yourself and your existence, you can never really help others. I do take your point that you often hope that conversations can be deeper than the superficial chats about general things. It is never easy to come across people who have that desire - most people I know who are married or have partners, both gay and straight, really don't "talk" to their partners, everything is superficial. But there are people who will listen, who will enjoy listening, who hope to understand, and who will open up and talk to you - but those people are the casual associates who, over a long period of time, become friends. I haven't drawn a line that says I won't bother to meet new people "in person" or hope for a "friend" in the future, I just don't bother to look because, as a beautiful folk song says, Somewhere along the road someone waits for me. Just remember, people suddenly click. There is no magic formula, and often the person who becomes the most meaningful in our lives is the total opposite of the dream we have. That's the way of life. For you, enjoy the people you happen to meet but regard them just as nice (or otherwise) people, people you might encounter again, people you might superficially chat with, and it is always possible that one of them will become what you hope for over time. And, while you are waiting for what might seem the impossible, you will continue to develop as a person, you will enjoy your Self, you will understand yourself more, and the happiness you feel from simply waking up in the morning and being able to smile because it is a new day will be really infectious. Okay, I have typed far too much but spending most of my time alone gives my brain a chance to run riot with my typing fingers lol Besides, if something is worth saying then 2 or 3 lines is never enough. In a nutshell, just regard the people you meet as people you meet - friendship, like love, can take time. Hugs, Stephen

[@mamtabhatia5700]

2:40 Aaah the vicious circle of having a "stable" group, then questioning whether you're severely narrowing your horizons, and then risking neglecting them to go make more "groups".

[@sincerelysawda]

I can relate to being scared to open up to people. Also went through the stage of having more friends than I could keep up with. But I was lucky to find my core group of friends in college and keep real close bonds with them after graduating. Now that I’m in a new country making new friends has been a struggle. I find myself shying away from one-on-one meetups or even keeping regular contact with people I meet. But you made a good point about not letting the fear of being hurt keep us from making meaningful connections with others. Thank you for sharing this 😊

[@s.m.b.8519]

Real friendships are hard to make. Connections can be easily made sometimes but consistency after that takes so much work. I always look at other friend groups and love seeing them do things together, but i can’t open up in those settings and they take so much energy. So I’m still learning how to connect with people I meet on a deeper level.

[@nosiphomkhabela5413]

This is so relatable. Making acquaintances Is so easy but making true friendships is so much harder especially as we get older

[@luzdelarosa5684]

It’s relatable. There’s a saying “ keep your friends close, enemy closer” as you realised it’s not about quantity it’s about quality but having said that, it’s difficult to find a true friends like finding needle in a haystack. Often we draw the line therefore, we become more cautious to the point where we find it difficult to even say things that’s simple.

[@HichamNasriful]

I never had many friends. It always makes me feel weird, maybe sometimes lonely. But life showed me that to be happy you dont need alot of "friends", but only those you can trust. Thank you for your story. Wish you all the best

[@xienaxiena955]

Drawing a line is very important in any relationships. if people know too much about us, it gives them the power to hurt you, attack you pull you down etc etc. but if you set a boundary, they won’t know how to do that to you (just a personal opinion). Having said that, everybody needs somebody and sometimes we do need to cross the line or let others cross the line- so all we need to do is be mindful who we allow n where we want to belong. Because people care too much about the validation of others on us, it is frustrating but then I live by the line “don't walk around like u r the king of the world...walk around like u don't give a damn who the king of the world is!!”

[@Rh_indigo_dream]

I always say I have a lot of acquaintances but only a handful of friends. These are the people I can truly count on and who can always count on me. I've had the same best friend for 28 yrs now, and we don't always talk on a regular basis, because we both have our own lives and we understand that,but when we do we pick up where we left off. It's always about quality.

[@jayjay5196]

True. Its not easy to find friends. Kinda sad. And there are so many broke friendship. 😕 Making friends but don't feel really good. There are very close one but thinking that there are a limited is painful. So I try to just enjoy the moment with them

[@jervzky2864]

I feel the same, I used to be on a big group of friends but nowadays I seldom talk to any or probably no communication at all. It's not that I'm closing my door for them but probably the pandemic can be one of the reasons and then yeah having a small core that is trustworthy is the best. We don't need a lot of people behind us but rather a true and honest who will be there for us through thick and thin is what we really need in our life.

[@lifescolorsthroughmyeyes]

first things first, i absolutely love your bed talks. they're so relatable and it goes deeper into who you are/ your thoughts. in my case i've never been one to have any friends and have always been quite selective when it comes to making friends. interacting with many people at once can be super draining to me and i often need a moment to recharge. sometimes i tend to go quiet for a bit and some understand it and others don't. our hardest moments in life do a really good job of showing us who's really there for us and who are willing to stick by us no matter what. usually for my bday i love doing the bare minimum and this time (it was 3 days ago)i actually realized there were people i really wanted to see on that day and seeing them felt great and i didn't feel drained at all. nowadays i have friends that i've known for over 10 years who are still just as close and slowly gaining new ones as well, i'm glad you are too and i hope you keep gaining more of those soulmate friends along the way. thanks for sharing !

[@rapunzell4901]

I’m an introvert so i never really enjoyed hanging out with superficial friends. I’m glad to have just a handful of close friends. At the end of the day, it’s not the quantity but quality that counts. 😊

[@bookishlybookish]

I've just recently had this very conversation with my lifelong bestie. I've always been an introvert. Large crowds are exhasting for me, and while I will open up when with people I trust, many times I stay closed off because putting energy into anything other than a reciprocated friendship is too tiring. As an adult who is very comfortable being single with only one friend I consider my soulmate, it can still get pretty lonely, but making new friends is something I feel like I almost always unintentionally self-sabatage. The anxiety of wanting to be liked and accepted and to not come off too strong and scare someone new away is real. But the right people won't make us feel that way. I've been lucky to find and have the opportunity to nurture a brand new friendship this year and what's allowed it to be successful so far is communication. Communicating the anxieties and fears and making sure both parties are on the same page is imperative for a successful friendship, especially in adulthood. Being self-aware of our own faults and what holds us back can sometimes be frustrating, and change can be hard, but when it comes to friendships, so important. Your maturity and self-awareness in this video is inspiring and I hope you've been able to find ans nurture some amazing friendships since making this video.

[@mihaelacorodan4742]

Unfortunatelly this is everybody's life lesson,but is so necessary.You will push your boundery when you will find the right person (you will feel that with your soul)

[@keziahchristabelle1131]

So true life is so different nowadays. People can be quite unpredictable. I guess we should just try our best to make the most of it.

[@ThizisDanny]

Yes we should just try are best even though it’s not easy

[@kimishi5504]

I like the title of this video "bed talks" so much of what you were saying us true. I liked when you said to find soulmate friendships is unique but the fear to open up to people who then "ghost" you hurts. I have these feelings too lonely, depressed and no real friends to just meetup or talk, but superficial ones that only talk to you when they need something. Whatever your lifestyle it does not matter, it will be the closest friends that understand you and will be your "batphone" when needed. We always need to go down different paths before destiny shows us the true meaning of friendship. As i always said to anyone i meet, if you need someone to talk, i have an ear to listen always🌸😊

[@Rose-by5wp]

This one touched me. I feel the same. So many ppl i met while going to different parties n different gatherings at the end weren’t really my friends. I have 1 friend at the moment n even she doesn’t really come around much because she still wants to be in every scene meeting more ppl. I just can’t do that. After a long day, it’s sad there’s no one there to talk to. But at least i found out that u have to love yourself enough to get away from things and ppl who aren’t making u happy or aren’t making time for u the way u do for them. Sending lots of love!

[@J...K----]

Hi Dan, you are not afraid to speak from your heart and what you have said resonate so much with me and I am sure with many others as well

[@ThizisDanny]

I’m happy to share and happy to read all of your responses :)

[@lisaodionstudio]

I love your bed talks. This and the “not all dreams come true” one as well as many others have been my favorite 🤍 I can totally relate to this video and can’t wait to binge the rest.

[@rose7189]

Wow. I thought I was the only one putting up boundaries. Yes its hard to open up and I can totally relate.

[@tatjanaelevate]

I have felt the same way , exactly!!!! For a long time. Sorry to hear you had it like that. Especially for deep people who care about more than the common superficial stuff it is hard. My only best friend has been my husband for 22 years. We ve always had doors open and hearts in our house for many people, even after having experiences of selfishness from other people. When you have a feeling that some people remember your existence only if they need something, and that feeling of being used. But!!!!!! We still believe in good light , kind giving loving hearts out there. They are there!

[@elaineperrie170]

I can relate a lot. I can 100% say I love my oldest friends, my truest friends. They have seen me through bad times and good times. I have a couple of groups of Friends, but my newest friends I don't open up to, too much. My oldest friends know me so well we don't even have to talk. We know what the other is thinking. I love them and that's the truth. x

[@divishadeepti8623]

Currently headed in the opposite direction. I actually do have really good friends that I can call or message anytime for anything ... or I used to. Everyone is just busy now and although I always have time and space in my life for them, I don't feel that energy being reciprocated and it saddens me deeply. I don't open up to alot of people. I sit in the corner of a crowded room and watch others... thats my comfort zone. I admire what people share and grieve my loss. I'm not sure which phase of life I'm on, Idk if things will get better or worse, I just hope to have the strength to keep carrying on and be happy 😊

[@geoma5225]

Being in process of having true people around me, can fully understand your feelings and thoughts. Also have been heart broken as have been misled by fake feelings by fake people I have trusted most. However am grateful as they have helped me realize who I am and what really wanted. A great friend of mine even told me not to close my heart and not leave my trust to other people because then will be as an empty shell. So nowdays I cherish any moment spending with people who accepting me for who really I am. So the few people they know you well, will understand you. The people will not understand you, they have never known you sincerely. Goodnight Dan💖

[@sociallyveee]

As a person who was an extrovert and has turned to be an introvert...going from many many friends and to literally no friends is scary but at the end of the tunnel it's peaceful my life has less drama I was a people pleaser due to childhood trauma but now due to being alone and having time for myself I have finally begun to heal. Living alone and having no one to talk gets lonely sometimes but it's lesser heartbreaks because when "friends" use you to their own benefit used to suck and I'm happier with myself

[@CoftmH62015]

This is so true, you can only count on few people that can relate to you and has ears to listen and can engage serious deep conversations. Just like you, i don't open up so easily. I only have few friend i can trust and a best friend. Even if i share my deepest thoughts, she can listen and not judge me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your learning experience and glad to hear you have friends you can treasure on. I enjoyed listening and looking forward to your next bed talk. Peace ✌

[@asia0011]

I've always been a more introverted person (introvert), but I've always tried to make friends with everyone else. At some point I realized that it is not good because you can't make everyone happy, and I ended up on my own and I felt lonely. Before the summer holidays after which I was supposed to start high school, I lost what I used to call them my friends. Only later did I realize that they didn't see me that way. For some reason I don't know until today, they stopped talking to me. So overnight. They ignored me, acted like I wasn't with them. As if I didn't exist. This hit me really hard. It was the first time that I realized how much we may not know someone despite the fact that we spend practically every day with them. When I started high school, I decided not to get involved in any artificial or false friendships, which made me kinda find myself and people whom I could count on in any situation. And it seems to me that the most important thing in life is to find just such people who will always help you, and when you need to "kick your ass" so that you can move forward. ❤ Thank you for your bedtalks, as always they give me time for reflection of my own thoughts. ❤☀

[@andreawei7906]

Hi Dan, that's true, in hard times you recognize your true friends. I had this experience at the end of last year when my mother died and we had to clear her house. My so-called friends didn't have time to help me. I got help from people I didn't expect. You never stop learning in life. And btw.....I really enjoy listening to you telling. Your voice is so gentle and calming (and erotic) 😊 it relaxes me after a stressful day after work.

[@ThizisDanny]

I’m so sorry for your loss :( Those are the times you realize who your true friends are indeed and it’s a blessing that we find them because we never would have known that they could be those special friends that would last forever

[@AV-ks1gp]

I used to be an incredibly social person with, honestly, a stupid amount of friends and I was always the person everyone went to when they had problems or needed someone to talk to, but when I needed someone to talk to no one was there, so I basically just slowly over the years separated myself from them and became a bit of a loner. But as much as we all need that one person to talk to, to listen to us we should never underestimate the power of spending time by yourself and in taking the time in getting to know someone slowly. Being guarded is not a bad thing at all because at the end of the day you need to look after you, and those people who will become special to you will understand and respect this.

[@thomasholle1960]

Yes, I know this situation to realize to have not real friends. Bec when you have a bad situation nobody is there he call or ask you and want help you. But its never to late.

[@gigicornett4795]

It’s hard to start over with brand new people. The ones I’ve been in touch with for years are the best.

[@HeloiseEliot]

Very relatable. In the end, having one really good friend is much better than having 20 people you just get drinks with. That one person you can call at any time of day, no matter what. Someone who won't make you feel guilty for not having enough time for them, but rather respect your space... and then you meet again and it's like no time went by. And that's a two way street, give what you get. As an introvert... this is really rough as I resort to my cave whenever the world feels overwhelming. It was a great filter for friendships because the really good ones knew how to wait for me to come out, instead of disappearing. And I do same. We each have our lives, respecting everyone is the best way to go. Hugs from Portugal

[@noomiek8746]

Hi Danny! The friends who are ‘party people’ can have still have a place in your life. Sorry to hear that you were disappointed by friends. People will come & go & serve a purpose, they can have different levels of your confidence. Don’t be afraid to slowly open yourself up to others again, once they earn your trust. Love you & thanks for sharing.

[@bornaangel]

Hi Dan, Love all your Bed Talk videos. I can relate to this video. In my case Covid and Lockdowns have shown me friends were not who I thought they were. At first we were having Zoom meet ups regularly, Staying in contact through social media and phone calls during the Lockdown. After a time ones who I thought were my friends slowly stopped contacting I was the one always checking on them to see if they were OK. But it wasn't reciprocated I was the one supporting them and trying to hold on to the friendships I was the one who was left upset and broken.

[@yasmine19050]

This is something i relate so much to because when i was younger i was always jealous of people who had a lot of friends or just a lot of people around them i was always a loner and i enjoyed being alone but for some people it seemed weird seeing people alone especially on high school because thats the place u meet your friend of life but that wasn’t my case i met 2 years ago the greatest girl iknow and we relate so much. Even tho we don’t meet up often we still now were there for eachother. So yeahh now iknow i don’t need alot of friends but like real friends who loves me for who i am😊✨

[@ThizisDanny]

Real friends are always there for you even though you don’t meet for a while or talk for a while because you guys are busy!

[@meganmcphail2150]

This video really got me in the feels... Making and maintaining quality friendships are hard. And even the closest friends might grow apart with time/moving/life things... and when you get friends as an adult, you have to balance wanting to spend time with them with the anxiety of being a burden to them or being too clingy. And you may have the fear that your friends will think you are too much, and you may have to find new friends to open up to all over again... It can be soul-crushing at times.

[@aly6192]

Omg thank you for this video. I'm struggling with superficial friendships and being "jealous" of genuine real friendships since high school. It may sound strange but it really comforts me seeing people like you, who in my mind are so cool and seem to have so manyyy connections, saying that they actually struggle with this too. Yeah, its not easy to make friends anymore. But I'm sure That one day we will find our people.

[@ThizisDanny]

I’m sure there are many people out there who feels the same. one day we will be ready to be a good friend and those good friends will also find us..!

[@aprilcochran1370]

My daughter has gone through this, worse she lost her real friend at the same time 😢I wish she could meet new people

[@violetwolf2426]

I have felt similar to you. This last year or so I have made a concious effort to re-connect with people who I have known and was friendly with but never really allowed myself to open up to properly before. I think making true friends requires you to be vulnerable and that can be a really hard thing to do, but worth it when you find ones who will be there no matter what.

[@pamelaporter373]

Friends vs acquaintances are not one in the same. I believe our paths cross with others but only for a short time. Friends stay with you no matter what happens. Choose those that really care about you. You are wiser than you think. Stay true to yourself. Use your discernment and people will show their true intentions.

[@StayTired]

The beginning reminds of the saying “It’s not what you know but who you know”. I also feel like it’s hard keeping friends when you move hours away and build a family. I feel lonely a lot. But I also enjoy it. This is a complicated subject to me. Makes me ponder 💭

[@brendatucker535]

I remember going through the same thing. There's not enough time in the day to do everything we'd like to do. Dinner was the best I could do and some nights I came straight home because I was too tired. We are all vulnerable. That one person you can talk about anything to will eventually show up. Until then you can keep talking to us. And we are always ready to listen😊

[@gratra100]

Just want to say you speak english beautifully,and as for friends,having just a small group of friends can be more satisfying and makes you more happy.Its not the quantity of friends you have,its the quality.Im glad you have found ones you are happy with and wish you all the happiness in the world

[@jefpaivateles]

Your words were to me like a bomb going off inside my mind. I could live several experiences similar to the ones you lived and it's been hurting me a lot, mainly be able to apen up to the others day by day. I do like my boundaries, but them keep me stuck and kinda like antisocial. However, I figure you, me and the all ppl living like that DO NOT take it for granted, that's, is any chance yet. Ty for sharing it with us. Makes me feel like understood by someone, even without spoke nothing.

[@DJB4437]

Wow, well Dan, life will take us to, through, over, under places. I didn’t have any close friends either. With three brothers and no sister. I do not bond with girls, could not get through with emotional connection. I did try to not feel until I got older, now the true friends I have were my friends from elementary years. I still stay in touch with them after forty years. I stop looking to find new friends. I now just take it one day at a time. When it happen you will receive many blessings. Good luck and thank you for being my friend Dan

[@christalpriya1]

I have experienced many such instances where the so called friends just use me and try to get whatever they can...then just forget that I ever existed...even recently this has happened...it hurts a lot and you get emotionally drained...it's really great that u have trust worthy people around you 👍👍

[@hellenboelaars4302]

Isn't it weird that we all need to experience the same lessons about the values of true friendship? But in order to find and value it, you must experience the other side, like without sadness how could you ever know the feeling of happyness

[@earthrooster1969]

Dear Dan. Wonderful video. Fantastic visuals. Towards the end you say you hope you can change. You don't. You experienced the extroverted world with your introverted self. And you came out knowing better. I have realised (as an introvert) and someone much older than you, that if you are your own best friend, your real friends will find you more easily and never let you go. You will never be without real friends even if very few. As you are so true to yourself. And that is something rare. Very rare in todays age over social media overload...

[@SoriaCenter]

I really enjoy your Bedtalks! Thanks for sharing🙏 I think it is a normal part of younger years to be a social butterfly and bounce around meeting groups of new people. I was the same way. Similar to you though a point in time came when I was able to evaluate which of these friendships were true and superficial.... similar as well is seeing who faded away in difficult times, and which friends appeared in the low times to be there as the lesson of what a true friend is.

[@alicewaria6215]

I was the same it’s good that you have a small group of real friends. I wish I did, I have friends that don’t even live in the same city or country even. The only friend I thought I had stopped hanging, messaging even wishing me a happy birthday and won’t accept my daughters on Facebook as friend to chat with her daughter whom she was friends with.

[@masokittie1518]

It seems to especially become more difficult to make meaningful friendships and relationships as we get older and the course of our lives change. Your people are out there though. It can be scary and maybe even sometimes painful to take a chance and open up. Wishing you the best.

[@tmcadam077]

A true friend will always stay..

[@flor6109]

Sometimes is hard to socialize with others. But it doesn't mean that you are an strange person.

[@melindashepard7046]

Omg I thought I was the only person that did this, I always tried to please everyone thinking that’s what I was supposed to do and discovered they really didn’t care and I was always miserable, because I couldn’t donate my time with others fairly, then I found out these people were truly Not my friends. I don’t really have anyone to call- my fault now because I alienated myself from everyone because I was tired of being betrayed and it was work to be a friend to some and friends shouldn’t require work to be made. I am lonely and wish I had someone to speak to; but now I have this wall I need to knock down around me and let someone in or open the door and make a true friend! Your talks are always helpful.

[@ThizisDanny]

I think we all have this feeling or this side of us that people usually don’t know. people always think I’m surrounded by people but I also feel like I have no one to call when I want to talk about certain problems. and I guess it’s also related to my trust issues. But I want to believe things can change. I believe it can change for you as well

[@melindashepard7046]

@@ThizisDanny any time you need to talk you can always find me. Good listener😊

[@wilde13]

@@melindashepard7046 I know it is "only" KZbin...but you are so warm and offer your ear to Dan...so let me offer you my ear! I'm here if YOU need someone to talk. Loneliness is a very heavy feeling, no one should be alone in this. And many times it is much easier to talk to a stranger...and I'm sure that Dans bedtalks can break walls....much Love from Germany

[@melindashepard7046]

@@wilde13 thank you so very much I will take you up on your offer, what part of Germany, my mom is from Berlin.

[@wilde13]

@@melindashepard7046 No way! 😄 A German mom! I'm living in the country side between Hamburg and Hannover, the north of Germany. And yes, please, "use" me! 🤗🤭

[@peanut0124]

It's very hard to make friends and to be honest it's also hard to trust too I had a friend we had a true friendship for a long time but our friendship was more like a biological family she is deceased now. You also have to be careful too who you become friends with. I try to be careful because when one is grieving you can become very vulnerable too. But I do take a chance on getting to know a person so I can relate to what you're saying Dan and I enjoy cooking too

[@klaudiaramirez6781]

Definable can relate, I don’t have so many friends now. The few that I have I can call or meet to talk about life or when I am down. I know many people but not all are my friends, real friends.

[@remyespino1257]

In my life times, I had so many friends and associates. I don't look for friends, the true friend are given when trust has developed through times. Now, I say I only have a handful true friends but still have associates out there that we can meet up every now and then. Dan, enjoy meeting people, if they will be your friends at the end, great! If not, it's good too...life is getting too short, live your life to the upmost. Your fans loves...much love from USA❤️

[@laura_jones]

I've had a similar experience as I've gotten older -- my level of trust with any given person is probably about 40%, if that. With my best friend it's maybe 85%. With my boyfriend it's close to 100%, and that has been a very, VERY miraculous occurrence. I used to be open with people, but in a pretty superficial way. You know, willing to share my gripes or whatever -- but never anything too deep or personal. To be honest tho, at that time, I wasn't even aware of most of those deep, personal feelings myself. It's taken a lot of solitary years for me to get in touch with my inner workings. I started therapy recently and it's uncovered a mass of tangled trauma I never really knew I had -- although I had my suspicions. I've gotten a little off topic, maybe. I just wanted to say, the way you're feeling (I think) is normal for people our age (30s or late 20s-ish). I think... it's not as if it's harder to make "friends", but our tolerance for shallow and meaningless interaction is just less. Because that's not what we crave. We crave real connection by now. We aren't kids anymore, and our emotions aren't childish. They're complex, and so the relationships we long for are also complex. I hope you find someone to connect with, truly. It's so lonely being alone all the time.

[@saeintrests]

That’s a good point. We often receive tangible gifts 🎁- we fail to recognize emotional ones.. developing and growing into the “ gift of good-bye”, can be wonderful when scaling people out of your life and knowing who’s for you.Dan your on track!

[@Thaissa81]

Dan, it is normal for everybody, happened to you, to me too. We can count true friends with one hand, rest of ppl crossing our life are just passengers

[@eleniminas7742]

They way you describe things talking about things thoughts and feelings are so beautifully done .Have you ever considered to write a book with the title bedtime talk.It would be fascinating. I would love to read your bedtime stories even when I enjoy them so much with the way you tell them the tone and colour in your voice .So soothing and soft spoken. I love those. Lots of love from Greece Dan ❤❤❤

[@ThizisDanny]

Maybe one day I can put all the talks together when it reaches ep.100 or sth and make a special edition for you guys ( might have to polish up the words and grammar a little haha)

[@eleniminas7742]

@@ThizisDanny ohh please do so ❤❤ I would love to have that book ❤ LOVE you Dan 😍

[@denisahoxha8835]

I very much agree with your opinion. Today more than ever you understand better who your real friends are. A true and good friend to be near you both in difficult days and in good days. While the friend who has an interest in you is only there when you are well. Time is limited for everyone because to get the routine of life but even though we can not meet the best friends but we can call them. Thank you for reminding us to find time to meet our good friends.We are always here when they need us.

[@sannettecalitz531]

I nowadays first check how a person talks about someone else, how they treat people or act among them, before i let someone in or close to me... people can be SO cruel, but if we hang in there, well find those true diamonds...

[@Danii0171]

Hello Dan You have a beautiful soul. It is very hard to find friends that you can fully trust and feel comfortable with. When you are true to yourself and feel at ease hopefully you will find someone you will be able to trust and be there for you. No one is perfect it takes courage to try.

[@ThizisDanny]

I guess the first step of making good friends is being a good friend and opening up so that they have the chance to know who I am..!

[@farimabegum431]

Omg I was talking abt the same thing with a friend of mine,how throughout life we continue to drift in different circles of friends. My best friends during teens we had drifted apart after so many years we come close. Also I have drifted apart from friends I thought were close friends over difference of opinion. I think your best friend truly is you yourself because you know you better than anyone else. I find that we want to be accepted and liked and valued by other people so much that we forget most important thing is to value yourself and make yourself happy that way you won’t seek approval from other people to be liked or excepted or be friended.

[@saracruze2212]

My father told me YOU are your ONLY best friend im older now all the people I thought were friends have gone but I do have me myself and I .

[@ThizisDanny]

I also believe that we are our best friend but sometimes you just want that one other person that you can talk to about anything..!

[@indianas4013]

@@ThizisDanny I agree with you.

[@Sunset553]

It’s interesting to hear about the trials of having circles of friends and “spreading yourself too thin” as we say. I’ve been stuck doing the opposite, never being in a circle, always wanting a friend but not knowing how to have one. Your thumbnail is perfect for the topic.

[@moderatelymodest]

I can relate a bit too much with this video. Thank u for speaking ur mind …. Ur truth …. N putting it out here….. it’s a rare gem.

[@reebeeby8679]

How relatable it is and there is still a lot to add. You go through so much that you end up setting a boundary around you so as not to make yourself vulnerable and not to get yourself hurt again. I think the adult world is cruel and digital world is making it a lot worse too because everyone is interested in getting updates of your life but once you are in trouble you can't really find anyone by your side and eventually you see every side of the world and the people. You might have some genuine people but you are still alone. Thankyou Danny for bringing this up it was really needed.

[@Tlifefile]

It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable with such a broad audience, I admire that about you. Your talks and experiences have been encouraging some of my own deep thoughts of late; I hope you don’t mind if I use some of your creative thinking as inspiration for my own work? I feel you on the openess and friendship struggles too. I was very much the same in what feels like another life. I’m seeking balance now too; your talks have helped encourage me to try some new things tbh. Thanks for that 💗🙏🏼 Be well Danny.

[@ThizisDanny]

for some weird reason sometimes it feels easier to talk to people I can’t see and know very well instead of talking to a friend about these thoughts. it’s comforting in a way to know that I’m not alone and there are other people who share the same thoughts. :)

[@Tlifefile]

@@ThizisDanny same 😊

[@andi6349]

Listening to this bed talk got me thinking about how my need for friends has changed over the years. When I was younger I really wanted someone/anyone in my life who could understand me fully and be willing to listen to me and relate to me when I was in a difficult situation. I'm the type that always listens to others but was rarely allowed to speak if you know what I mean. But I guess I'm just not very easy understand so my friendship needs gradually changed. I learned to deal with my personal issues myself and how to have a good time with my friends without expecting too much in return. I'm actually happier now because I don't expect very much from others. This was something I learned with age. It's not easy to do in ones teens, 20s and 30s but it comes with time and is quite liberating. I do have good friends and we have fun together and that's enough for me. Thanks for the bed talk, thanks for being brave enough to open up. That's what I like about your videos. Your honesty.

[@txnpooh]

I am so sorry about what you sent through but you are so brave to try to make friends. It is great you have your very best and close friends. Me, I am scared to meet new people as I don't know who would really be good and who would not. I don't have many friends who I feel close as a lot of them turned out to be using me. Thank you for your bed talks. You, sir, are just so brave, wise and thoughtful. Please stay safe and healthy.