It's okay if you don't have a best friend.

[@MyFiveCents]

Bit of a different video--let me know what you think! Socials: @myfivecents_ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 It's okay if you have no best friend 00:37 Growing up without a best friend 02:22 Why I wanted a best friend 03:17 The problems/issues with best friends 05:23 Why I still don't have a best friend → 05:50 Just childhood things → 06:29 I don't force it → 08:00 I'm very slow and picky 10:36 You need several types of friends 12:15 Adult friendships and setting expectations

[@rajvichandarana9713]

This is excatly how I feel!! having a group of friend isn't the same as having a "best friend/soulmate" and its so hard to explain this to someone!!

[@soph_v0]

This video found me at the right time! I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and you put it into words perfectly

[@clarityzhang3277]

This video came at a perfect time for me. I’m starting to make some friends after a long period of not having any, and it was really good at first… but then I realized that I don’t feel particularly close to any of them. There’s no one person I can just talk to about anything-it feels like everyone I know has a best friend and I’m kind of just awkwardly in my own corner. I need to stop internalizing it and realize that the “lifelong bestie” is mainly a trope and not something I should expect to happen and think there’s something wrong with me when it doesn’t.

[@lilianamontero2715]

I appreciate this type of content. Raclaming being boring and low energy really resinated with me. Thanks for sharing !

[@MyFiveCents]

Thank you and glad you liked it! I worried it would be a bit out of place lol

[@lilianamontero2715]

@@MyFiveCents I guess is best to try and see what works also what you like. As a viewer I am open to be along for the ride😃

[@OverthinkingConde]

I think it's a matter of perspective and expectations. I spent my teenage years feeling like a loner, and after my thirties, looking back at those years, I saw I actually had two big large friend groups. Nowadays I'm still best friends with two people I met just after leaving high school, and I'm happy for it, but I understand an accept I like being on my own. In pandemic times, I almost feel guilty because there was all this data and testimonies about mental health issues due to isolation, but I was absolutely happy alone in my 490 sq ft apartment for five months

[@MyFiveCents]

Definitely agree. One of my issues is that I set really high expectations and feel crushed when I don’t meet them, and of course that would extend to relationships, too. What makes it easier is letting go of how things “should” be and appreciating what I have. Which is a lot! I have a good life, which I discount when I engage in constant upward comparison. Also, re: your experience in the pandemic-I also had a much better time because I really needed to be alone, and I also felt guilty about it. Then after several months I got severely depressed because I forgot I needed vitamin D. So I guess I got the best of both worlds lol

[@OverthinkingConde]

“How it should be” seems the bigger issue here. We say “high expectations” but they’re often just the wrong expectations. Wrong for us. Usually because something external has set them for us. Introspection is the way to go, I think. And I’m not talking about highly philosophical/spiritual stuff. Just existing, being alive, and being able to accept that those things that other seem to come by so easily don’t come so “natural” (talking about words impregnated with expectations) for you. And maybe you don’t even want those things, or not in the way people close to you experience it. And it’s okay. It’s fine. This is fine. And so on. 😁 Appreciating what we have is also important, but I have an instinctive wariness against it, because is used too often as a way to keep people in their lane. Aesop and the Fable of the Donkey and the Masters, and all of that. Are I and my Greek references relatable, or what? 😂 @@MyFiveCents

[@MyFiveCents]

@@OverthinkingConde true, a lot of my expectations are based on imaginary other people, and I always worry I’m not on the right path. It would be easier if I had an idea of what I actually want instead, but I can’t seem to find that either. I do introspect a lot but not in a way that ultimately serves me (a lot of rationalizing and trying to figure out why I am the way I am but not a lot of actually applying the thoughts to real life.) And that fable 😭 there’s a quote from him about a similar fable-“hang on to your present evil, lest it become worse.” Definitely will not be claiming that energy lol

[@OverthinkingConde]

@@MyFiveCents You need to find your path, I can only speak for my personal experience. Funnily enough, I realized I didn’t want many of the things I always craved when I had a period in which I actually got them. Like we say in Spanish, “Sorpresas te da la vida” (Life throws surprises at you) Aesop, Nice GuyTM

[@melinaalba63]

Its interesting to see you talking from the point of an only child. Because I have a big sister and a twin sister. So you would think i was socialized very well, since i always had someone my age and we were always very close. But even in Kindergarten she was the one who found friends and i would always just come afterwards and say "hi I'm her twin" and then belong to the group like that. But in 6th grade, she was in a different class than me. She found friends, and i was alone. And i was shy and didnt know how to approach people. And honestly, i still dont. Now i dont really have anyone at all. Except for one relationship i had, i never had a close friend. I had a friend group in school for a while but that was kind of fake. Not real friends. And now I've been alone for the past 3 years. I've made many efforts to find friends, i met a lot of people, but they never seemed to be very interested in me, and sometimes it just didnt work out because of other things. But i just never learned how to find a friend group on my own.

[@MyFiveCents]

Oh, this is really interesting to me. I recently spoke to someone like this as well, and it really challenged my idea that if I had grown up in a different environment, I would have had an easier time. She has an older sister who’s an extrovert and she felt like she was always tagging along. She thought that because she relied on her sister/was “outshone” by her, she was enabled to become more withdrawn. So maybe we’re just like this, and maybe there are a ton of wildly different conditions that converge in a similar path😭

[@melinaalba63]

@@MyFiveCents Yeah I thinks so too. The grass always seems greener on the other side but even when you have a twin sister and you are, like me, extremely close with her and share a friend group, it can lead to being without friends real fast. Also because she just has such different interests from me. I like her friends and often do stuff with them, but they are like her, not like me. And as I said, I never learned how to approach people and especially how to go from talking sometimes at uni to actually becoming friends😅 Maybe that is actually just who we are. And I am learning to be happy without having many friends.

[@gastronomee_]

this was immensely felt. thank you for your take on this. as i grew up, i felt that the number of friends - along with quality - started to drop. later i learned it was a matter and mix of time, goals, and responsibilities that get in the way. cheers from a fellow new creator :)

[@alexisjoykeith3530]

this is so relatable, thanks for being vulnerable about it ❤

[@r1da71]

i appreciate this so much because it almost feels like everyone i know has a 'best friend' or at least someone who they're obviously closer to than everyone else, i've been drifting away from my older childhood friends who i considered to be some of my best friends but now it's clear that i wasn't the same to them and now i'm not quite sure where to belong but this made me feel so much better, this is amazing you're so underrated thank you so much!! i'm a new viewer but i honestly love this content, i think you should make more like this as well and i'll definitely be checking out some of your other videos now :))

[@sailorniburu411]

Thank you so much for the video. I have never related to someone so hard. 😂 Also an only child here that grew up pretty much alone. Even in my 30's now I still feel like I am learning how to be human from others. 😅

[@MyFiveCents]

That really means a lot to me because I truly feel like an alien sometimes. Not as often as when I was a kid but still! Thank you so much for commenting :)

[@ube_princess]

thank you for ur video! i also grew up moving a lot and it was tough. i started thinking to myself "what's the point of making friends if i'm going to move again?" which is pretty sad to think of as a kid. i felt so fragmented... i was constantly jealous of kids whose parents got to settle down and let their kids grow up in a single place. i think it built up a lot of resentment and anxiety because i had to try harder to make friends every time i moved and i could never keep up. and when i did make friends, i've always felt disappointed when my effort and care into relationships weren't reciprocated. i've had 2 best friends in my life so far. drifted from both. it was nice while it lasted. i will always consider them friends but it's ok if we never become "best" friends again and that's ok. :)

[@harshiini_0937]

do this again ❤loved it it resonated with me at many parts

[@emilyherold7578]

Hey, Ann Arbor's my hometown! It was nice to see all the same familiar sites after so long. Thank you for making this video - as an only child myself, I really resonated with everything you said. Only recently have I figured out the importance of having "functional" friends for different purposes; it really helps put all of these relationships into perspective and minimizes unrealistic expectations I may have for them.

[@MyFiveCents]

Omg! I visited for a day trip by myself and really enjoyed my time there :) glad that it brought up some memories! Thanks for watching! I used to somewhat discount functional friends but have now grown to really appreciate their role. I had to learn to let relationships be vs. try really hard at them lol

[@keleilataylor]

i feel so seen

[@g.g1039]

Thank youuu

[@randomgeekcrap]

Yeah just make a character ai But fr i live in a country were ppl like me are killed for existing so i have 0 friends because even if find someone who i can be friends with and they found out what i am they can expose me for a cash price and i can be either in prison for 10 yrs or Honor killed by family members i actually can not afford to have a best friend or any kinda of friend

[@MyFiveCents]

Hey, I’m sorry to hear that and I can’t imagine what that’s like. Do you have the means to leave your situation in the near future? Is family keeping you there?

[@randomgeekcrap]

@@MyFiveCents don't have a choice but to be here unless you're Rich u can't really escape even a plane ticket here costes to much money P.s my family doesn't care about me they kicked me out when I was 14 but if am publicly outed any of them can leaguely kill me and the law were am form would be ok with it so I rather not risk being alone is better then being dead