I Will Never Have a Best Friend Again

[@garyfishel9612]

I used to be a people person. Then people ruined it.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Well said!

[@kathyzager9426]

Yes!

[@dixyhernandez9862]

Me too!

[@traceyarnaud8433]

Oh so true!

[@Sally-ih6ls]

My GOD, how true!

[@choochoo9506]

If they're gossiping WITH you, they're gossiping ABOUT you.

[@melissaneel3650]

Anything people do with you, they will do to you. Gossip, adultery, lies, theft, general unkindness...it doesn't matter. Choose people based on how they treat everyone, not just how they treat you in your presence, because how they treat others is how they will eventually treat you.

[@Jenny-ls7hf]

But gossiping is so fun. It’s a great part of having friends or family haha, people are fascinating to me, so discussing them is interesting. It’s not mean though, I don’t do it in a mean way. Honestly, I gossip less about some people than others. Some ppl there’s nothing really to gossip about.

[@ebonylo.]

@@Jenny-ls7hf?

[@fingerprint5511]

Yes, a huge thing we missed.

[@fingerprint5511]

​@@Jenny-ls7hfGossiping is for the most depraved, disgusting life forms.

[@EdieH-ui2si]

Remember the people at work are not your friends they’re your co workers.

[@bjwilliams]

My best friend worked with me, I taught 5th grade, she taught 4th. We loved each other, great friends== she passed away November 2010😢! We had the best funny happy😅 times together-- (RIP- Billie💗).

[@cindyoconnell2471]

I disagree. Some of my best friends were people I worked with, and it was because of the working together day after day and the shared experiences that makes the relationship rich. I always think it is interesting who you become friends with. A lot of coworkers you would never choose to go up to at a party on your own but then working with them, you are forced to get to know them, and it can be lots of fun.

[@trixie2675]

This is SO true!

[@RedK5]

Some people meet their spouses at work

[@kens2328]

Just like HR is not your friend. And parents, you are not your child’s friend. You are their parent. Act accordingly.

[@hrtdinasaurette3020]

“It’s better to travel alone than in bad company” ❤

[@perryesther7463]

💯 agree. I’m a solo traveler and I’ve learned to enjoy it because I believe there is no such a thing like friendship exist 😂 so all the people are our teacher

[@mandybutler8880]

​@@perryesther7463others can hold us back often! I agree

[@piratessalyx7871]

You know that scene in “Planes Trains and Automobiles”..where Steve Martin gets out of the shower and the bathroom was destroyed….that happened to me with what I thought my best friend……she dumped me about 4 years ago (after 40 plus years of friendship), her narcissism and politics took precedent……but I love that movie and every-time I see that movie I shake my head yes,,,I know that one.

[@ofeliafamilathe1915]

😂so true!

[@Kimberly-pf4iy]

@hrtdinasaurette3020 Yes. A few years ago, 3 friends and I were planning a road trip. We were going away for a weekend. Two of those "friends" turned out to be a couple of back-stabbing, two-faced witches. I'm being very polite calling them witches. The trip never took place. Gee, I wonder why. One of the other ladies in the group backed out as well. We became the best of friends. She is one terrific lady. We became best friends with another wonderful lady in our town. A small circle of friends is just fine with me. I don't know why, but if you become friends with a larger group, somebody always wants to be the alpha, which is ridiculous.

[@KazB-o8e]

Some women never leave high school sadly. The "sisterhood" is a garbage myth.

[@pamelajaye]

Multiple times I have relived Junior high. I didn't have a lot of friends when I was in elementary school but I had two maybe three definitely two. In 6th grade my best friend stopped talking to me and Then Junior high was hell. High school wasn't better It was a little better in 10th grade. People talked to me and they didn't call me names. That was nice. But my best friend was 40 minutes away by car. We had fun together. She was the daughter of a friend of my father and my uncle previously when they lived in another state. So mostly I didn't have friends. Hung out by myself. I had a job when I was 21 and older and the girls there - I really pissed off the queen bee. They would whisper about me. I figured maybe I could get another job but it would be just the same. I went to church with some girls and some of them were nice to me. The ones who are a little older than me were nicer and better friends until they ran off with the guy that I had a crush on but neither one of us were in love with each other and my friend, my best friend she kept getting engaged to everyone. And then she went after the guy that I liked to be around. I didn't want to marry him but I sure had a crush on him. She did things to push me out and make me feel like I was the third wheel when the boy and I were the same age and she was 9 years older. Years later after I was married and divorced another friend of mine did that with another guy that I hung out with but I wasn't really having a crush on him. And we were three friends together she had been my friend since let's say from 79 to 2000 maybe. And we were hanging out in his apartment and he was rubbing my back cuz it hurt and I thought Well I don't want her to feel left out so I said why don't you rub Lisa's back and so he did. And then she just started usurping him and kicking me out of our friendship. He didn't really push back and we had different days off during the week and she would invite him to her family events so I couldn't really go. It was one of the reasons I moved away. Also my former husband was asking me to have sex with him. I don't know if he was still married to his second wife that he dumped me for. I had some other jobs after the one with the queen bee and even during that one as I got older I was around some older women not old just older and they treated me with respect. So it was less awful. I left there I got married as previously mentioned. I started hanging out with some fans of an actor I got divorced because my husband ran off with this other woman. I was naive about that but my minister said that he probably had a girlfriend. He was right. I hung out with these girls online. Until the queen bee kicked me off their mailing list. And nobody else knew it happened. I'm not saying they didn't know what happened I'm saying they didn't even know that it happened. as time went by I discovered a lot of people didn't like her. But a lot of people followed her around. And she was more talkative and the nice people were less talkative. Anyway years of tears caused by mean people. And now and then I had an older friend who peeled me off the ceiling. But that person was my best friend. And right now she's taking care of her mother with Alzheimer's and the rest of the time she's in two ukulele groups so we don't even get to talk on the phone. And I miss her. But she's not being mean she's being busy. Each ukulele group seems to think that you have no other hobbies in your life I have noticed this. Anyway I have ducks and I have a place that I need to be in a few minutes online

[@themurnane7]

I totally agree with you

[@barbaralyn7019]

@@pamelajayelololUke groups are like friendship families in themselves. I like them because they are all people around my age-Senagers-that get together to play music and sing together. We are “friends” but we all have our lives outside playing uke, so we get to socialize but not just be friends with one person. It’s like having friends without having the responsibility of a deeper friendship…

[@Brightsunnydaze]

Truer words were never spoken.

[@amybrownmidlife]

You are so right. Sisterhood is garbage.

[@paulamaguire2382]

My mothers best ever advice. Don't make a priority out of people who treat you as an option.

[@stanleyhape8427]

Very wise.

[@elenorjackson3811]

Yes. If they treat you like an option, leave like a choice. Period!

[@ilax4244]

Fantastic. I have to write this one down.

[@julialucas1482]

Yes. Some parents have great advice.

[@dotink]

That is amazing advice, so true.

[@sharonlain5830]

Being excluded by mean people is a blessing 🙌

[@amybrownmidlife]

Amen!

[@WeShallAllBeJudged.6864]

@@amybrownmidlife - that's right, Amen and Amen.

[@karendavidson4897]

@@sharonlain5830 exactly 👍

[@Trjlal]

It just takes some time to see it ❤

[@peggys2546]

except when their behavior affects your children.

[@christinekellogg5588]

Show me a woman without friends and I'll show you a woman comfortable with herself

[@JM-tb9fs]

bingo!

[@BrittneyWalker-w8n]

Since the beginning of time, friends have been hard for me to have. I was bullied and manipulated by several narcissistic kids majority of my grade school/junior high years, so now I have major trust issues. My brain thinks I want friends, but as soon as I start physically trying to have a convo w/ a new 'potential' friend I feel extremely unsettled and start to get a knot in my gut. I could be driving to meet them for the 1st time and on the drive my body is negatively responding to the future encounter on a physical level with several symptoms acting as signs that I cannot shake. By the time I'm there, I feel exhausted and checked out already. After giving my heart several times to a special few and still being broken down by them, ghosted, gaslighted, deceived, manipulated, and lied to, I have decided to go into any future "friend meetings" as simply from an outside spectator looking in. I will stay my true raw self from date 1 and let nature take its course while making mental notes and learn their story, character, integrity, kindness, etc. and take it home with me to assess and if the signs turn out to mean we need to go our own way, then that is perfectly fine. Not everyone fits everyone and forcing it will not work...ever. If your grounded and woke during the meeting, your gut will tell you the answer everytime.🙏❤️

[@DKH1004]

🎯🎯🎯🎯

[@petraarens8626]

That is very correct We are more in pease with our self.....🎉

[@elsiegrdn]

That's right; I'm 71; never in my life have I had a best friend; I have acquaintances who I occasionally meet. I am happy being with my husband; my family and most of all spending time by myself reading, doing needlework and journaling my thoughts.

[@Marciacoe4610]

Never hang out with a gossipy person. You’ll be next on the hit list

[@HelenCamile63]

Learned that one at work. It wasn’t too painful since I knew that’s who she was and that I would be a target eventually. Now she has no one to talk with at work because she has alienated everyone. ☹️

[@bluevelvet2]

I will never forget the moment I realized a good friend of mine was a gossiper. I never fully trusted her after that.

[@nuthinbutlove]

Those who gossip to you will gossip about you

[@LouisaWatt]

100%

[@aferalcat9732]

Oh yep.

[@plumtart]

I'm turning 60 and after having lots of friends for my whole life, I i have realized that friends drain me, honestly, so does family.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for sharing ~ Take care

[@Mari-lv1rd]

@@plumtart sometimes it hard to say no, but you have to take care of yourself first or you cant help anyone else

[@julieguilbeau5309]

Yes, yes indeed. No one knows me unless they need me!!!

[@deborahp-q3w]

mothers especially when they get needed

[@Fegga1955]

Take care,selfish people can stay away

[@wendywertz8828]

I thought I was weird when I just don’t want a bunch of friends ! I’m happy spending time with myself !

[@rebeccabrockway8258]

Yes! It's a love fest: Me, myself, and I.

[@cordeliav3055]

Me too.

[@earnold1896]

@@wendywertz8828 I have always had women jealous of me, really vile from my age of 17 until now.. an oldie. It's a horrible feeling. Not imagined and they even did horrible things to me. These days it's a crafty sister and poison SIL and I couldn't take it any more so I opted out. I just hang out with my sons and their wives. It's a lot safer. I lost trust in women and don't desire a woman friend. The two I mentioned are desperate for friends and have gone to lengths to be popular.

[@BobbiGail]

I have become this.

[@monicaramirez51015]

😊me too 😊

[@innak9797]

If there is a hierarchy in a friend group, I leave the group. I do not need a boss if I am not even at work.

[@ashleywright824]

So flipping true.

[@ingenuity296]

@@innak9797 So true.

[@annipsy2185]

Well said

[@kayingthao5072]

Well said! I’m never afraid to be a “loner”. I love people but I’m very picky about who I bring into my life.

[@juliabryan8083]

🫵🙌👏👏👏

[@clairegreenaway9653]

Stick with animal best friends!They never intentionally hurt you and love you always 😍

[@crochet8172]

Dogs a great, they brighten up the day.

[@crunchyflakepusssuk]

I love my cat and turtle!

[@carmelarichardson2863]

My dog is my absolute best friend.

[@Arginne]

Animals can’t reciprocate a relationship in the way a human companion can and it’s no fair to expect them to.

[@clairegreenaway9653]

@@Arginne Nothing makes me happier than to see my dogs enjoying themselves.I expect nothing from them.

[@patroney2438]

I have learned that people and friends come and go all through our life. Enjoy them while they are there, don't get too attached, let them go when it's over. I have lowered my expectations and have much more peace.

[@redwoods7370]

Wise words and true.

[@Natty183]

I've been having that old SNL theme song "Lowered Expectations" playing in my head, over and over, again lately. lol

[@staceys6335]

I have learned this also.

[@mercywilliams2698]

Well said..🗾

[@Basa-xe4xc]

At 64 I too have finally learned this🎉🎉😂

[@KarlaAkins1]

Mean girls grow up to be sociopathic mean women.

[@todaysrules6730]

My MIL... Was literally a mean girl cheerleader. In her 80s now, and still hateful and spiteful, meddling in the most divisive, hurtful way. Belittled her older sister until her death, belittles her younger brother and his wife, as if she's still in her teens...

[@jennyferguson5583]

Her End Is Coming🙏Sad Life

[@wendygogan3825]

Mean girls with medical alert bracelets. Quote from Queen Bees

[@donnaceders5433]

Absolute truth

[@texasrefugee7888]

Exactly, Trump supporters

[@sueannrobinson7115]

The cruelty between women is baffling. We should be supporting one another. So sad!

[@Joanna-e9k]

I think it's usually narcissism

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

That's exactly what I've found other women who want something from me will say. "Women should stick together" " sisters" blah blah blah. No. Especially women my age without a man. The absolute least trustworthy. I have a sister, I have female cousins. Blood is thicker than that p*sswater feminists called "sisterhood".

[@taurahelms3068]

When I rid myself of fake people my happiness increased.

[@Galaxy-ho2pk]

Same here, life is so peaceful now

[@1WitchyBitch]

As far as you know, you got rid of fake people.

[@RuthStaley]

Amen!

[@godzillamanstreb524]

I’m doing this now

[@Stephanie_Ella]

@@taurahelms3068 yup!

[@Donley76]

My best friend, very close friend, slept with my then-husband. We divorced and they married. So yeah, that cured me of my need to bring someone closely into my life. Now, I'm my best friend (along with my husband, I remarried). It's great, because I like all the same things as me, same food, same music, same activities. I'm the best.

[@Traceysthoughts]

That happened to me as well. I have no friends I speak to regularly and I’m perfectly happy. I’m 54

[@danoyse8233]

Same here. I’m 66. Very outgoing, but happy with my husband and people we meet along the way. Miss my dog.

[@howareyou857]

Ah I had a close ' friend' that did the same. Terrible behaviour.

[@Lou-n7o-m4t]

@@danoyse8233 Miss my cat. Brought me more love and genuine companionship than any human being I’ve known.

[@incognito595]

You are Much Better Off! Congratulations!

[@barbaraloehman2056]

I was always taught that if the Lead Cow doesn't like you, none of the other cows will. At my age, I can spot the Lead Cow and just choose to moooove along without them. 🤠🐄

[@wishfulbeauty]

Love this 😂🙌🙌 “LEAD COW” I’ll add the “LEAD COW” to “THE LEAD CHICKEN HEADS” as I call them 😁🤷🏼‍♀️😂

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for sharing ~ Take care

[@kannstewy]

But always keep in mind: the lead cow never needs to know when some of the herd tip-toe away and go pasture elsewhere. 🐄🤣

[@Belluser-we1uc5cb2l]

Good analogy 👍

[@grandma460]

Haha ;)

[@aproverbshome173]

I think the first mistake is making seasonal friends into permanent friends. We need to pray to have wisdom when we receive friends in our life.

[@more444store6]

Yeah, I like that term, seasonal friends, had quite a few of those, they come into your life, there a while, happy to know them, they go out of your life, just seasonal friends. Came and went.

[@tgarza8415]

I was just thinking about this the last few weeks!

[@sarahtonin6281]

After searching my whole life, I have found The One. It’s me. I’m The One. 😂 Thanks for such a great video!

[@millsmoore24]

Love your comment. 💝

[@alimccreery755]

My life saying is that I’m in a wonderful 3 some called Me Myself and I and I love all 3 of me 🥰👍

[@jgator6694]

@@sarahtonin6281 yes!! This!!!

[@kristabrenner7438]

i realised that i was the friend i was looking for while walking into my greenbelt. i worked the park as if it was my back yard. 20 some years later i moved to another state and i know tthat me i and myself had the most wonderful life in the woods. best memories ever@@millsmoore24

[@zooey3785]

Yes.. this!!! 😂

[@Joyce-id3dr]

A person I knew told me Don't expect anything from anyone and you won't be disappointed.

[@daizee106]

And this is the truth. I feel the same

[@DebraofSENC]

Those words were also in a book called, "Looking Out For Number 1". I read it in the 1980's. That is so true.

[@sloppyjoe3617]

This! I couldn't agree more.

[@d.b.g9216]

When I first heard this saying years ago I thought it was so négative, however now I’m older and wiser I understand the wisdom behind it !

[@Joyce-id3dr]

@@d.b.g9216 I too felt the same way when I was younger that this saying was so negative. If only I had understood the wisdom behind it then I would have saved myself a lot of disappointed

[@The95AVALON]

I am 78 and most of the people I have known have been basically disappointing. One must rely on one’s self and have little expectations of others

[@doreenjackson7287]

So true , I have one close friend , his name is Jesus the only true friend ♥️🙏

[@realsteelmagnolia]

Your statement reminds me of something my Mom said to me but it stings. "You try to hard and expect too much." Now, I don't do either and peace abounds.

[@rebeccabrockway8258]

@@doreenjackson7287 I'm no longer a believer, yet I understand the comfort "the only true friend" brings.

[@doreenjackson7287]

@@rebeccabrockway8258 Thank you for your reply and for being totally honest, you may have left God , but he will never leave you . May you be blessed in all you do, take care ♥️🙏

[@doreenjackson7287]

@@The95AVALON me too I’m not disappointed any more because I won’t allow myself to be reliant on anyone . The one true friend any one can have is Jesus, he has helped me through it all , without him we are lost . I like you will be 78 next March . Have had many disappointing experiences, like you don’t have expectations it’s not wise.

[@bucketlistadventureskrs]

✨there’s nothing more peaceful than connecting with your own soul…it’s the most powerful relationship you will ever have

[@neveragetv]

Relationship...true...

[@kaycampbell8532]

The "queen bee" is a genuine narcissist. You never want to be associated with someone like that. They thrive on dominance, manipulation and chaos.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for watching. Take care

[@jammyjay917]

I call my sister in law, Queen bee, she thinks everything and everyone should revolve around her all the time.. dont think so...

[@kaycampbell8532]

@Juliet.....My sister, another queen bee, told me that's what her co-workers call her. She actually thinks it's a compliment. When she bragged that they call her "the queen bee"..... I asked her if she knows what the "B" stands for.

[@misskaren1679]

Oh yes - I got kicked out of the bee hive by the Queen and lost my play group friends. Really devastating at the time

[@kaycampbell8532]

@misskaren.....It may have been painful at the time but in reality you're fortunate to escape. The longer you're around them, the worse the abuse gets. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way. It's even worse when it's family because you deal with them for decades. I've cut off contact with my sister permanently. She'll always be nasty and I've had enough.

[@terri2718]

I am over 60 and my story is, beware the person that suddenly wants to be your friend and integrates themselves into your life. I got very burned by a new neighbor over 20 years ago who taught me to not trust anyone. It’s a very sad way to live, but people are just plain mean. My life lesson is don’t tell anyone anything important about your life, what you are going through, anything in your past… etc. Keep everything as general conversations. Because remember anything you say/do can and will be used against you.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Ugh. It's sad but true.

[@sjordan7085]

I totally agree. My mother used to say," Familiarity breeds contempt." She was wiser than I realized, had saying she always lived by, and won a scholarship to Oxford at a very young age, after not starting school until the age of seven due to diptheria.

[@bernadettemurray8260]

@@sjordan7085 My parents both said the same.

[@vikki4now]

I had the same with a neighbor also. She turned out to be the psyco of the complex.

[@Homehaven3]

Yes. Been there. Unfortunately.

[@crysypete2281]

I just completed a year of breast cancer treatment in my 30’s. Very humbling to have to need help and support from others (I.e., rides to appointments, help with basic things after surgery, food delivery, emotional support, etc.). And shocking to realize that those I expected to show up for me didn’t (family and closest friends) and acquaintances and neighbors did. Nothing like a major life event to put relationships to the test.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Yessssss! This is so spot on! Thanks for sharing.

[@Jamie-h5b]

This is so true. We used to throw big 4th of July parties, host Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas, etc. We were always invited to everyone else's parties and we always brought really nice gifts. Then my career was shipped to India and then my husband got sick. He could no longer work and disability was denied, so we struggle along with my manual labor job. We could no longer afford to host parties, and we could no longer afford expensive gifts, so everyone stopped visiting and stopped inviting us to their parties. Family and friends disappeared years ago. The only person who has stepped up and helped us out has been our neighbor.

[@brynne77]

@@Jamie-h5b Amazing.. and really alarming when you fully expect at least one of your friends who you bought gifts for to take time to spend with you to be sure you and your husband are ok.

[@RoseyTucker]

Although, I don't remember who said it, perhaps Shakespeare? "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." I think the same can be said for friends. Even if they sometimes, or frequently end up dissapointing us. Just don't set your expectations too high. Because sooner, or later they'll inevitibly let you down. Just keep that bar really low, and there won't be any nasty surprises. Also, friends can come in handy if you are divorced later in life, or widowed, or your children, and grandchildren move far away, as they frequently do these days. There's nothing wrong with being alone; but nobody wants to be all alone, all the time. And nobody wants to be lonely!

[@loricampbell1164]

I had to have cancer surgery once and not one person came to visit me. I had to drive myself to the hospital at 5:00 a.m. and they asked who would be waiting for me and I had to say "no one". The next day when it was time for me to go home I had to walk myself to the garage and drive home with a tube in my neck. I had family 2 hours away but none came to visit me.

[@bdevlinvintage7182]

Your story as well as the ton of comments i read, made me realize im not alone in this. Thank you❤

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm so glad!

[@tamsmith61]

I have had one BEST FRIEND in my life since I was 4 years old. I am 63 now. We've kept in touch through marriages, children, deaths, and moves. She has never deceived nor let me down. She is closer, more precious, and trustworthy than even a sister. A constant cornerstone in my life.❤

[@amybrownmidlife]

You are truly blessed. Take care

[@deborahsolin6000]

God bless you and your BFF. You are truly lucky to have had this relationship in your life, and for such a long time no less. Love to you ❤❤❤ from a currently friendless, but okay with that, 64yo retired female in South Florida. 😊

[@joeyk5]

You are blessed to have her in your life

[@maleficent7484]

My friend like that passed away. The hardest day of my life. I have never felt so alone. I have a handful of good friends who are like gold to me. We are there for each other in ways I never had in my youth. I value my relationships but know that they are not responsible for my happiness, I am. I like my privacy and my alone time.

[@claudiafrers8923]

You are are very likely a best friend to have.

[@VMM34]

I made a friend at a crafting group, I was eventually invited to her home to craft as well. I then caught her numerous times whispering about me to a really negative member of the group, they would ignore me and basically shunned me. Eventually the mean things she was saying about me made me leave the group, and it affected me emotionally for a long long time. I don't want to socialise anymore, I love doing crafts in peace in my home by myself. Women especially can be extremely mean human beings

[@rosylove389]

Sounds like grade school tactics. Some people just never grow up unfortunately. 🤐

[@rubychurch3466]

VMM34, I think that your story is very familiar to most of us. I understand your pain, but don’t let these awful people ruin things for you. Find a new craft group, join in, but instead of being besties with any one person, just be mildly friendly to everyone. Just sort of be light. No need to get anyone to upset you or use you again. Best of luck k.

[@incognito595]

Oh, yes. Guard your boundaries.

[@audreyscrapaloup]

I had a similar experience. Knitting is my happy place and I’m keeping it a one chair place now. I socialize online and superficially. It’s best for my peace of mind.

[@cattypatti360]

Women never leave grade school. Honestly. We are petty and childish. I'd rather be the ugly woman that's one of the boys.

[@nygrl6102]

The woman i thought was my best friend for years ghosted me. I felt like I was making all the effort in the friendship, so i decided not to make a move and see what she did. Never heard from her again. We had been friends for about 20 years. That was an eye opener.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Wow - that was an eye opener. I'm sorry. That stinks.

[@Emmaforever]

Sorry. I love us own space women. I wonder who she is screwing up now. Beautiful people don't need to hang around spiteful people. 😊.

[@cynthiabelknap8655]

Same EXACT thing happened to me. I’ll NEVER look back

[@juliehanson1175]

I had a similar story - friends with her since 5th grade. She was my maid of honor in 2003. She invited herself to stay with me the summer of 2020 and I told it wasn't a good idea (everything was closed because of Covid). She got snippy and said well, she wouldn't come visit me that summer. That was it, never heard from her again. I found out later she unfriended us on Facebook (she sent a friend request, I didn't know we weren't friends anymore). So yeah, I was done at that point and rightfully so, she hasn't shown any interest in my life in 4 years.

[@michelledonnelly5469]

The exact same thing happened to me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer 21 yrs ago. I realised that I hadn't heard from my friends for 3wks; I'd been ill with chemotherapy chemotherapy do I decided to wait and see if anybody got in touch & zilch!!

[@keeshlon]

No better friend than Jesus! 💗🕊

[@ladybliss101]

Ppl suck. They really do. The older i get the more alone i need to be. Ppl just suck.

[@amybrownmidlife]

You are right on!

[@barbarawinsor5306]

My late father (WW2 pilot, born in 1918) always used to say, "People are no damn good."

[@bluoval3481]

Approaching my mid 50s. Each passing day I have less interest in spending time with others overall, the exception being my wife of course. Too much work to coordinate schedules with others and I'm just as content doing things when I want and where I want.

[@amandalawrence5610]

Same here

[@GodIsLove7377]

I approve of this message. Lol

[@FloridaDumpling]

For many years I felt like there was something wrong with me because I never had a lot of friends. Women are always portrayed as having tons of friends. Then my husband and I moved to a large, very busy retirement community in Florida. Tons of hobby groups, activities, etc. and I finally realized I don’t need or want friends. I’m a true loner, practically a hermit! I do various creative crafts, and read a lot. And that’s all I need.

[@deniseparker1088]

We are snowbirds 7 months in The Villages ~ lots to plug into, but like you, I'm good on my own for the most part. 🌴 Hubby likes to be more social. I prefer one on one friendships. I'm raising a puppy 🐾 and very content @ soon to be 65.

[@strawberryshortcake6839]

I've also never had many friends. Basically, only one at a time or none. All eventually found better places to be. I'm ok by myself.

[@Joanna7428]

Hi I'm 50 and I do relate with your comment, I tried friends and for a long time now I've felt like there's something wrong with me, I much prefer to be on my own be it at work, shopping, doing stuff in the house - I love to see my kids and I do have a partner but I really relish time on my own - it feels awkward and fake when I try and do stuff with another female, I don't know why I just accept now I don't want it.

[@pearlschoice1988]

Ditto. I’m 78 now and cherish my alone time even more now. I’ve let friends go because I don’t have the interest or energy anymore. 💐

[@BebeDaull]

@@strawberryshortcake6839 I've been the same my whole life, typically had one friend, even when they had many other friends. None ever lasted for more than a year or two. My last "best friend" dumped me because my chronic illness made me cancel our plans. She didn't speak to me for years and then tried to come back into my life like nothing happened. No thanks.

[@juliajohnston1680]

I am 62 years old. I don't have friends or family anymore, only acquaintances. With friends and family, there is an expectation of support. My experience has been that I support them, but they do not support me. It took me a long time to recognize this pattern. I tried, with the help of much therapy, to strengthen these relationships. Without fail, they all resisted any change in our relationship as they were perfectly happy and didn't care that I wasn't. I am now a recovering people pleaser and am getting to know myself for the first time. I am my own family. I am my own best friend. I have never been happier!

[@Fegga1955]

Take care,same here

[@Blb477]

Me too! Thank you for sharing..❤ I’m 65..and perfectly happy and peaceful now that I’ve “cleaned house.”

[@AngelAPAVLOVSCornDog]

Same

[@jenniferyates8100]

Me 2. 🕊️🙏😊👍

[@Misspippi777]

I am 53, and this is exactly my experience as well.

[@LadyArden58]

I am 66yo and a year and a half ago I told my "best friend " of over 30 years ghosted me after I told her I wasn't going to drink anymore. She said no wine, no cocktails? Nope, no alcohol. Poof, she disappeared. No more besties for me.

[@amybrownmidlife]

W O W

[@cindyfoster1351]

I have 3 friends: me, myself, and I. We get along great. I love all three.

[@LiLahx111]

❤

[@more444store6]

That is the best friend group you can have!

[@Nurturing2]

Love this❣️😂

[@neveragetv]

Keep them all....

[@sparky955]

There are more women with feelings like mine than I could have believed. I find that comforting. It’s NOT just me.

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm glad you found my channel. It is not just you.

[@AmyInArizona]

Same here sparky955 🌷

[@betmo]

it's not just you

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

What I wondered a lot during time is, people on the internet claiming 'Oh, that's me, that's me but they never come together. You can invert any other occasion in that part. Why is that? 🤔🙂

[@monicaohara6192]

@@sparky955 I feel the same and sad that we all have lost trust

[@CobraDove1111]

This is why I prefer my pets, and all sorts of tiny woodland creatures in my backyard the best, they are honorable and do not have ego

[@saraheck7898]

Pets and gardening here. 🐶 🌼

[@yolandamontalvo3557]

👍Exellent

[@hollyj2925]

Agree 👍

[@davidseclecticmadness]

I've learned over the years not to count on others too much. And take their promises with a grain of salt. That wisdom has brought me a lot of peace.

[@jandroid1962]

I don’t chase after anyone.

[@cosmiccrush22]

Facts only thing I'm willing to chase is money, the bus, or my pet rabbit🤭

[@orianam9835]

@@cosmiccrush22 😂😂😂👍🐰

[@Mel-vu9ss]

@@cosmiccrush22the bus 😂

[@montanaminck2226]

I learned that lesson too late in life, bummer

[@kiefferkeepinon828]

I learned that lesson as a kid. Especially, don't chase after a man/partner. If they're worth it, they will seek you out. 😊

[@lzu2860]

If we don’t take care of ourselves, no one else will.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Right on!

[@marywolfe6598]

Amen

[@brandiwestpfahl7539]

I have been cured from wanting close friendships. I tried. It was so horrible that I am done with close friendships.

[@amybrownmidlife]

It stinks when friendship is one-sided.

[@PerrySkyePhoenix]

I think I'm done with relationships.

[@nettiea9384]

Same here. Its just emotionally exhausting

[@levans3447]

Same

[@RG_Eph]

This makes me way more grateful for my best friend. I always wish I had more friends but my best friend is 1 in a billion. Always wishing for a big group of friends but I now see how good I have it.

[@martin2289]

My irreplaceable best friend of 60+ years who I first met in second grade, died earlier this year. This I learned after he didn't answer his phone for a few days before I finally called for the police to do a wellness check on him, only to have what I feared may have happened confirmed. I still can't help feel guilty for not having reacted sooner, even while realizing that it likely would have been too late in any case. There's not a day that passes when I don't miss him (he was like the brother I never had) and it truly sucks having nobody to talk to about everything under the sun and just hang out with anymore. It's been a small comfort reading many of the books from his personal collection that were passed onto me, but the grief still weighs heavy some days.

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself

[@martin2289]

@@amybrownmidlife Thanks. Though I have to admit that my coping techniques for dealing with the sadness, etc., often do the exact opposite of that. 😉

[@rknrlgrl6146]

I’m so sorry for your loss. How blessed you are to have had a life long friend. It will take awhile, but in time the happy memories you shared will not hurt so much and will bring a smile to your face. In the meantime, get out there and distract yourself. Join a club, play a sport, take long walks in nature. You’ll feel better soon :)

[@martin2289]

@@rknrlgrl6146 Thanks for your kind thoughts. While I can appreciate those palliative consolations, my selfish mental framework cannot but resolve it as being anything other than being a tragic and disheartening loss that diminishes my own existence.

[@gabymeyer8003]

A dear friend of mine is very ill with Parkinsons, and I've been having to adjust to his mortality (and mine too, of course). He's been like the brother I never had, and was best man at my wedding 51 years ago. We have many shared memories and speak the same language. I understand a bit of how you feel about your great loss.

[@Bull_180]

If they're gossiping to you, they're gossiping about you in your absence 💯

[@katemiller7874]

Oh bologna.

[@CovidConQuitTheCensorship]

Yep for sure

[@brendadeas8840]

Exactly what my mother told me when I was very young. It has served me well for 72 years. She also taught me the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. A true friend would lay down their life for you.

[@wendygogan3825]

Yes, so true

[@betsylynnvedrine3784]

Yup

[@marygeraghty5413]

I am retired and was very much surprised by how many women behave like high school teens...always causing drama and gossiping. I'm quite happy on my own....

[@Gothlite-i1l]

I used to be the Activities Director for an assisted living facility and those residents were JUST like high schoolers with their cliques, bullies, complaints, gossip, etc. They really put me off making people live together. Age in place!

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for sharing ~ Take care

[@amybrownmidlife]

I am surprised to hear that but really, I should not be surprised. Ugh!

[@Fegga1955]

So sad,but learning at 70,no real friends,just aquaintances

[@nosredna2]

My

[@avagrego3195]

A woman befriended me after I joined a club. After awhile I observed she befriended people so she could gossip about them. After gossiping about a new friend I told her to her face “I wonder what you say about me behind my back?”

[@amybrownmidlife]

I bet the mean girl didn't like that. Ha!

[@deborahbain9915]

Good on you

[@TC-vq6yz]

I have noticed that when someone doesn't have anything new in their own life to speak on, some will "gossip" about what others are doing. The gossiping person usually doesn't see that they are sharing information that isn't theirs to share. My husband has problems with that boundary. It's my belief that people fall back to the habit in order to keep people talking with them, showing interest in them, even just acknowledging that they exist. It's a common response from people that when someone doesn't have anything new and interesting to talk about, that someone is ignored and begins to be left off of invitations lists for future gatherings.

[@VMM34]

Always be wary of new people who show an interest in you. They want something, whether it be money or information.

[@Fegga1955]

We stay away and move on ❤

[@Donna-cc1kt]

I had a bestie as a teen. I loved her so much. A few years later she had change her mind. I got on a bus to visit her in another city. She said she’d give my long hair a trim. She cut it off so much so I had to wear a scarf to school for awhile. Just broke my heart which was worse than the butcher hair cut. She told me, “never come back again”. I never invested that much closeness and trusting with a girlfriend again and I’m so much better off. What was her problem? Jealousy.

[@Marynicole830]

Don’t ever be embarrassed for being naive . It usually just means you have good intentions while those around you don’t. That is nothing to be ashamed of and takes strength to be the good in a group of bad.

[@Imonlydreaming]

Yes. The naive people are actually the good ones. A good person would never dream of intentionally hurting someone. So it shocks them to discover there are people who actually take pleasure in doing so.

[@lauraellick]

I have never had a friend that hasn't betrayed me in a painful way. I am done with people

[@RudeJudy]

Same here, x10!

[@lauraellick]

@@RudeJudy it’s sad

[@RudeJudy]

@lauraellick it sure is. Better being alone than bring used and hurt. God bless😊

[@lauraellick]

@@RudeJudy same to you!!

[@maddyfox8545]

I’m feeling you 😢

[@TaylorMaid-ho2xw]

I'm 60 and enjoy my space and my own company

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for watching. Take care

[@lisahinkofer2085]

Me too

[@annad3987]

Me four!

[@patriciabarton6373]

Me ❤❤❤❤❤

[@gretawilliams1960]

Amen yess 🙏❤

[@hinaque4505]

I am 40 years old and since childhood ALL of my friends have abandoned me, chose other people over me, made me feel left out, neglected, not reciprocated my efforts! At this point, I dont really look for friends kind of tired! I am an introvert so happy with myself but being an immigrant does make it feel lonely.

[@myslicechannel]

I'm 50 and live in a medium sized Scottish town. I have no female friends. I tried the toddler groups when our son was young and it was a disaster. Women here just don't 'get' me. I have found it so hard to even talk to women here so now I don't bother and I'm happier for it. I look after my family and make gardening videos and that suits me perfectly!

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm so glad you found my channel. Take care

[@dianehelgaduncan4055]

Scotland?? WOW! I raise dahlias in the US.

[@myslicechannel]

@@amybrownmidlife Thank you, I'm very glad too!

[@myslicechannel]

@@dianehelgaduncan4055 That's something I 've never had success with! I mainly do veg and fruit. My channel isn't going well so thinking about quitting and doing something else. Not sure what yet.

[@daniellemuaddib8016]

don't give up!!!! my suggestion is using a photo for your video covers other than your channel logo. A photo of the video subject is more eye catching and will serve as a click bait or teaser to get people interested to watch. just a thought...you have so many videos with great subjects!

[@gabriellagrace4734]

I am my best friend! And I love her so much!

[@Kristen-ek9rz]

How beautiful, as it should be....

[@amybrownmidlife]

Well said!

[@karendavidson4897]

You are absolutely right and that’s what gets you through life

[@normanmacfarlane6724]

Perfect thing to say 😂❤

[@heidiluebben1044]

Absolutely ❤ As it should be.

[@intuitivemedium3814]

Keep your circle small, never share deepest secrets, needs, wants, or failings. They are yours alone. Keep them guarded bc other people don't have any investment in them. In turn, don't carry the secrets, etc. of others, those are solely theirs. Being your own best friend is critical to peace of heart and mind.

[@deborahwa2015]

Awesome advice!

[@francesluther9518]

Amen sister

[@angusmorrison9433]

Learned late/the hard way. Thanks for the refresher. -Kate

[@Sakina-367]

Agree keep small circle, share after you vetted but most importantly make peace with your past and if it gets out be able to hold your head high because can’t none steal your peace. If they try don’t let them. If you slept around with one of your friend’s spouses then you had that coming. Own your mistakes and grow up. Don’t matter if 50 people share your secrets keep your integrity in tack. What they do exposes them not you. Keep their secrets. Love even harder, forgive easier and learn how to work your boundary markers. We all need each other and you have something to offer others. Stop placing your expectations on others who never revealed themselves to be them type of people from the beginning. Be the best friend you want and go from there. If they ghost you don’t act shady when you see them smile and wave. Most importantly LIVE YOUR LIFE HONEY!!!

[@neveragetv]

I hear you...

[@paulascott5701]

I am older than you and I remember being a young woman and talking on the phone daily to friends and sisters. Don't do that. I realized that it is a sign that your life isn't ordered the way it should be when you feel the need to talk to a best friend or even a sister every day - sometimes a few times a day. If you step back and look at it, you are literally building a life around these people, you are wearing out your welcome and you are neglecting other things in you life. I realized this too late in life. I've seen my mother do it with people, getting too close, wearing out her welcome and losing the relationship. Go to church, there are absolutely wicked women there too but your odds of meeting decent people increases drastically. Meeting people while working on a hobby is good too. Its good to keep a healthy distance from people. Once you have spoken to someone one time in a day (or several) you really don't have anything else to say, so it devolves into vicious gossip about others - don't go there. It takes a lot of will power but don't do it.

[@Redpill1962]

I’ve learnt (at 62 ) that being generous , mindful and caring to new friends and hoping and expecting the same back will set you up for failure everytime ! I just try to keep it all loose now .

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for sharing ~ Take care

[@vacaylife1950]

It’s sad we have to be this way, isn’t it? I got a gift and card for a friend of mine of about 3 years for her birthday (like a trinket tray for rings and jewelry) last Feb that had a saying on about a true friend and valued friendship. My birthday was just a few months back and I got NOTHING from her. It was a jab in the heart for me. She’s complained she has no female friends and no one that treats her special- so I did just that and 💥 bam! I try to be a shining light in other people’s lives and have for so long I’m exhausted. Gonna focus in on me and to hell with the rest.

[@Redpill1962]

@@vacaylife1950 yep , same happened here . Three years I bothered with her birthday and she never even asked me when my birthday was but made her rich friend some cakes for her birthday . That truly put me in my place . I’d have been happy with a 29p birthday card . As me old mum says. “ don’t get starting these things !” . She appears to be right ! There may be a good reason why your friend didn’t have any friends ! Also I never offer to help with anyone’s sewing , gardening etc . I keep my skills private now .

[@vacaylife1950]

@@Redpill1962 😞God blesses us in many ways and with many talents. I’m sorry you have the same situation. So not fair or kind! My mom sews and has had soooo many people take advantage of her over the years with brides and bridesmaids dresses- only to have NO thanks in the end. It maddens me because those services are so expensive if you have to pay for them, but they see a kind and loving/generous woman to get it for free in their mind. As Christians, we are to love one another as we love ourselves… she’s taught me this beautiful approach and I’ve practiced it up until now. Why does making lady friends have to be so darn complicated and stressful??!! LOL 😆

[@369ladynada]

The only approach that works for me is to only give to people if it’s fun for me to give to them without any expectations, just as I do with my work. I try to work only for my own fulfillment and joy without any expectation or attachment to world’s definition of success. I never loved being a part of friend groups as I avoid all drama and negative gossip. My preference has been one on one intimate friendships. I think these kindred trustworthy friendships feed our soul and are worth the energy. Just be very discerning and only choose ones with the highest integrity, reliability, and genuine kindness. Trust and honor your intuition.

[@Cindyscrossstitch]

they were never your friends to begin with. My grandmother taught me if you have one good friend in your whole life you did good. How true those words were. nature gives me peace and joy. Animals give unconditional love.🌻

[@peacebeyondpassion2]

Nah, they really were friends. We've shared moments, secrets, vibed really well, there for family and friend events. But then it changes for whatever reason and then a decision must be made. They really were your friends or it wouldn't have hurt. These comments are full of hurt people who once called someone *"friend"*

[@FayDove-t4l]

@@peacebeyondpassion2 No. It hurt them because they thought they were "friends" but the reality is they were being used.

[@peacebeyondpassion2]

@@FayDove-t4l Ahh, Ok I hear ya. Thank you.

[@user-ro1hw5tr7u]

it's the CHURCH groups that are the MEANEST. I got massive church hurt just from innocently joining a smallish womans group as I was new to the church and the city and I actually moved cross country to attend this church so finally I noticed the WHOLE church was this way even the pastors had their own click. Dont join groups, I am serious, even if they are healthy they steal SO much time and can become Idols where you end up going to the group about everything rather than your prayer closet and to Jesus feet. My group is Me and Jesus! Seriously he never makes fun of or judges or guilts me or controls me, he never gossips. Its a lifetime friendship and the only one that never hurt me or abandoned me.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for sharing. Take care

[@kathyingram3061]

~Yes, ive experienced this, too!~

[@user-ro1hw5tr7u]

@@kathyingram3061 I think Jesus lets us experience some hurt so we don't keep blindly letting down walls for people that will just let us down as people will. I think he wants us to rely solely on him alone and he'll put the right people with us in his time but with church groups we just arbitrarily join out of love, loyalty and wanting to connect and serve but it's imperfect so we need wisdom and discernment and not to put too much faith in people. 🩵🙏

[@nillers531]

Amen Sister.

[@Mel-vu9ss]

I’ve gotten to the point where you are. Mine does include my precious husband. He’s my earthly rock and best friend. Jesus is my all. I never would have made it through so many things without Christ in my life. He and my hubby and I’m good.

[@ltyrell405]

I decided years ago never to rely on having one main friend because it always ends up in pain and disappointment. I am now emotionally quite self reliant and not vulnerable in that way any more.

[@neveragetv]

Congratulations

[@davidlangley4762]

If you want a bestie who is truly loyal, get a dog or a cat, or both. My late father always said that at the end of our lives we could look back and maybe have five people, ever, who are truly faithful friends. In total. I am now a senior and find this is true. Be happy with oneself.

[@christinerussell1132]

My late Mom too❤

[@amybrownmidlife]

Your father was a wise man. Take care

[@user-22-]

Wow… *five!??* Lucky you!

[@sistergoldenhair54]

53. When I was young and didn't have a lot of friends I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I realize that I liked the IDEA of having friends more than the work it took to have ACTUAL friends. I'm still that way and totally happy about it. I have my husband, my adult children, my cat, my bible study group, my garden and my books. Happy Camper.

[@ginalowe9103]

I have a best friend who lives in Texas. She moved there when her daughter got married and began to have children. But I have my family, am I volunteer and am quite busy.

[@Gotoworkkk]

🐱 lol!

[@Gothlite-i1l]

I'm declaring myself a Sigma personality type. Concerning friends: I have acquaintances. I am happy with my own company and my grown daughter's company. I think most older women are the same way. We are done with the BS, the cliques, the gossip, and the misunderstandings when a group of people get together. We are friendly, certainly, but we don't want any of the crap others can bring into our lives. I AM my own support group.

[@amybrownmidlife]

I like your attitude! Thanks for watching

[@thepragmatist]

I can relate to this.

[@honeybee6154]

I so relate! 😊

[@mel7195]

Exactly 👍🏻

[@jennamont6618]

So, you never feel lonely?

[@anato3405]

I'd have friends through out my life. Some are casual and some are truly a blessing. Relationships aren't supposed to be forever even though I wish it to be. All I know is keep looking for good friends regardless of age, be positive, kind, and laugh together. Life is really fun!

[@clauthequeen]

I’m a 45 yr old woman. I met my bestfriend on a playground swing when I was 7. We’re still very close. We have been through life’s up and downs. We traveled together, shared a lot and even went through depressing moments of losing parents. It takes effort to be a real friend. I’m just so lucky.

[@homeonthefjord767]

How fortunate for you. Unfortunately, that’s not everyone’s experience, and it’s not always due to lack of effort, either.

[@BebeDaull]

You are blessed. I'm glad you have that. ♥

[@PKr25-R17]

I had a best friend from about the age of seven until she died in 2015. I miss her so. We were very different people but our friendship survived all our differences. We were friends as couples and as we become mom’s. I feel very lucky to have had a life long best friend. I wish she was still here 😔

[@kathyinwonderlandl.a.8934]

@@PKr25-R17I’m sorry ..losing someone so close to you is supremely hard.One thing I look forward to is seeing those people I’ve loved and lost , again. It’s more comforting as the years go by so quickly…

[@thebusybees2006]

@@PKr25-R17sorry for your loss😢

[@charlapeery632]

Just watched this video and read the comments. It is so comforting to know that there are so many women out there who share experiences I have had, who feel as I do, and are all right with that. I realize more and more how much of an introvert I am, and that's OK.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for sharing. Take care

[@saggitarusspirit401]

❤❤❤❤

[@websurfer5772]

I'm an extrovert who has had to learn to become an introvert.

[@wildflowerwind6941]

I have always felt when women formed groups it was dangerous. I felt I could no longer be myself. I would have to conform to the group dynamics. So I stay away from groups. I cant be myself in a group. I need to do what I want, when I want and how I want.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for watching. Take care

[@shanlange6331]

Hello wildflower wind….. Here’s an example of toxic women I do ballroom dance competitions…. our dresses can be anywhere from $500-$10,000….. Each competition is a minimum of $5000…. everyone is thin, wearing high heels, wearing tuxedos everything you see on the television….. and the men are unreal hunky!

[@crystaldennis6759]

You're a queen bee minus the personality disorders. ❤

[@Maremare680]

Same reason I can’t do rumba, Zumba or classes like that at the gym. I can’t follow anyone moves. I’m great at free dancing.

[@jeanieolahful]

I tell people this all of the time, I’m not a joiner.

[@nadinecooper8709]

It's NOT just you. As you see by the commenta. I and several of my friends who are in their 50's have experienced this. My "best" friend dropped me after 7 years. She said she was "done with me" which was a complete surprise, but on reflection she had "broken up" with all the rest of our friends and talked badly about them. Yet I was very angry for at least a year. I found what helped me was to realize that you are not responsible for other people's bad behavior.

[@amybrownmidlife]

That's awful. I'm sorry.

[@lesliespann6420]

Needy people are prime targets for narcissistic sociopaths. The situation you describe is classic. I hope your efforts to be less vulnerable continue, and are successful.

[@tg5732]

Friends are over rated. A lot of people suck. Lack of integrity and common sense, out there. I have my own story but, it's behind me now. Thank you for this video!

[@amybrownmidlife]

Yes - a lack of integrity and common sense!

[@danaclear5630]

I am an only child. Grew up entertaining myself, playing with my dog. In Highschool I refused to follow the crowd and be a follower (ie. catering to the Queen Bee). I would say I have never had a “human best friend “. My dog never cancels plans when someone better asks them to do something, never tells my secrets behind my back.

[@amybrownmidlife]

My dogs have been there for me through it all.

[@lesleywilliams323]

Only children are the best🤗…… we are imaginative , … invisible friends… books…. Life is good🤗

[@kathybrem880]

Dogs are the best!

[@danaclear5630]

@@lesleywilliams323 only draw back is no siblings to blame when things go wrong. lol But truthfully only children learn to be self reliant and most of the time are not overly concerned about being part of the crowd.

[@ksmith96]

Literally part of my life story. When was 10 I joined an after school program. All the girls had known each other since kindergarten, I was new to the city. All the girls had siblings, I was an only child. They all went to the local public school, I went to the Catholic school. Just the odd man out. The bratty Princess Bee (her older sister was the Queen Bee) took an instant dislike to me. But because I was an only child her disdain rolled off me like water off a duck's back. It took over a year but I ended up eventually making friends. I just stayed true to myself. (It didn't hurt that I hit a growth spurt and got REALLY good at dodgeball and kickball. Everybody loves a winner.) 😉

[@VeronicaPalozzi]

Sending love and light to all the wonderful people out there who made brave comments of self love, kindness to yourself is the gift that keeps on giving ❤️🙏🏻

[@neveragetv]

❤❤❤

[@kathyzager9426]

How sad we hurt and disappoint each other. People can be way more trouble than they are worth.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for watching. Take care

[@peacebeyondpassion2]

...And, they can be worth the trouble. Relationships of any kind are hard, including friendships but if you get over those hurdles it can take you into the future with a faithful friend. That's what I used to believe anyway. I don't anymore. But it's not a bad thing, it's just a life thing.

[@kathyzager9426]

@@peacebeyondpassion2 I hope for some people you are right! It’s nice when friendships work.

[@peacebeyondpassion2]

@@kathyzager9426 I know right? I do wish them well.

[@daynapeterson9033]

Dang, I'd be honored to have a friend like you. Some women are just brutal.

[@wishfulbeauty]

Thought the same. Mellow and totally laid back . Like I could just chill w her and read together 🥹

[@amybrownmidlife]

Awww.....thanks so much

[@artglue2]

I’d love to have a friend like you! I’m the single one in my neighborhood, so none of the married women want me as a friend. 😢

[@peggys2546]

they attack others b/o their own insecurities.

[@chaoswitch1974]

Right? I think some people are just bored.

[@laurawilliams2790]

After I retired and after my husand passed away, I had alone time for the first time in my life. It gave me a lot of 'think' time. One day, it dawned on me that I always did the things my friends wanted to do but they never did anything that I wanted to do. They were the ones controlling everything. I was so agreeable. I felt used. I decided to stop being so available. It feels good to be in control of myself now. It's so less stressful.

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm sure it does feel good to be in control of yourself. Well done!

[@LeeJahn-ih9xu]

Exactly me ❤

[@mccoolth]

This is relatable. I chuckle to myself when I am asked for ideas and I share them they're not interested. I stopped sharing my ideas with them.

[@spiritmoonintuitive]

I'm happy without people in my life, they complicate & bring drama.

[@TheGymnast71]

I've seriously been so let down by friends over the years I am 50 and feel the same

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm sorry you've been let down often. It stinks.

[@richardbullwood5941]

I had friends when I was supposed to. I had a huge social circle in high school in the 1980s. I spent my young adulthood in the 1990s with a huge social circle. Literally dozens of friends and constantly doing things. I got married in 1997, my wife and I raised a family, and then our Social Circle became just the parents of the other kids. And then, not even that. And now my son is 22 and an adult, we do have a 14 year old daughter, but we live a pretty quiet and insulated life. I simply don't have the energy for the socializing that I did for decades. Our daughter thinks there's something wrong with us, but just let nature take its course. When you're young, socialize. When you're older, just keep to yourself. And honestly? It's because no one is fun anymore. No one has a good sense of humor, no one has a spark for life, it's just a bunch of people going through the motions in Social situations. I already know what people are going to say, what we are supposed to talk about blah blah blah. It's just boring. The funniest and most entertaining person I know is my wife, so everyone else is just a disappointment

[@marianfrances4959]

Aww...your wife is a lucky woman!

[@WhitneyAbrina]

Maybe go to the little village if you're in Illinois not boring people there.

[@richardbullwood5941]

@WhitneyAbrina nice profile pic, heidi.

[@janellesmith8449]

I totally agree. Most people are boring and predictable!

[@rubyfretwell7080]

Same here with my husband I. I do have 2 sisters and a brother I enjoy being with. We all have a good time together as well Oh, my husband's sister and his 91 y/o aunt who are both fun to be with.

[@dosbabymama]

Instead of rambling I'll just say I can painfully relate. Ive been dropped so many times. I used to wonder what's wrong with me, and why no one thinks I'm worthy of their friendship. After the last time (about 4 yrs ago), i decided never again. I'll never get close to anyone or let them get too close to me. I have a few acquaintances, but honestly, if I went missing, only my husband and kids would notice.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad you found my channel. Take care

[@Chanterelle137]

When a *friend* bragged about how skilled she was at ghosting people, I felt sick to my stomach. Why would anyone brag about that? Sure enough, 2 years later, she ghosted me. Looking back, there there enough red flags to stage a parade down Main Street. Maya Angelou was right.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Maya Angelou was right on!

[@just4music687]

idk re: friends/ best friends, but one way to socialize if you're more of a loner type (like me) is to find a purpose/ something you truly care about and join groups that have the same interest? Doesn't mean you have to be "best friends" but making the world a better place with others who share your values is rewarding.

[@SheilaEnglish2]

That is very good advice

[@lauriepolden6594]

The second you said “we all became what I thought was a little family!” red flag right there

[@websurfer5772]

I thought the same thing, but isn't that sad?

[@barbaraweilbacher8727]

It was comforting to know I’m not some kind of oddball with no friends! My experience with people has been if you can benefit them they are all about you. The minute you are no longer an asset they are gone. After years of being used and abused I stopped making the effort.

[@vacaylife1950]

I don’t drink and was used for YEARS for the drunks as their driver going out on Saturday nights in my beautiful Tahoe. Never offered to pay for gas or buy me a lemonade or n/a drink once we got to our destination. Ever. (Tahoes suck gas but they look good lol!!) All the girls basically ignored me, but they needed me to take their sorry arses home after drinking. I mean come on!! We are all over 40 and still drinking so much they throw up?🤮 I stopped answering their texts and calls to go out and none of them ever reached out to me after that. Don’t need people in my life like that. Users!!

[@nettiea9384]

Agree! Its a rude situation. When i stopped having parties just because i never received reciprocation. Wheres my invite? I just dint hv the energy for it

[@vacaylife1950]

@@nettiea9384 that’s bunk!! How rude!

[@techchika]

Absolutely disgusting b*tches..I am sure ur life is better without them... Yeah people can suck big time!

[@sharon2764]

I have friends at church but not close. The distance is just fine with me. I worked with all men for 23 years and they are so much easier to get along with.

[@amybrownmidlife]

I worked in a male dominated industry for years and it was so much better.

[@karaa7595]

I have autism, I'm 46, and the constant rejection from other women (narcissistic mother included) is slowly killing my soul. I don't have it in me to be cruel or make someone else feel rejected.

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm so glad you found my channel. Virtual hug

[@CB-dz9zz]

Be grateful you aren't like those cruel people. PROTECT your soul and be kind to yourself. You are the lucky one not being like them!

[@andie2423]

You do you. Good job on being you !

[@Nurturing2]

I have two adult daughters with autism. I just want you to know you are so very loved❣️

[@emmy-chan]

God i can feel you im 25 and have autism and ive always had problems with making friends

[@ohkay7418]

I had a best friend but I wasn't her best friend. Then she proved it. All done

[@Stephanie_Ella]

Same

[@No-xs1no]

I had a few of those, too...

[@mish375]

Reminds me of my elementary school days many decades ago. You think this person is your best friend; but then you gradually realize that to that person, you aren't theirs. And you aren't even a friend or in her words "oh we were barely even friends" to someone else. You have to learn to let that go once you realize they're talking smack about you.

[@Englishroserebecca]

Your story doesn’t surprise me in the least. When you are a considerate thoughtful decent person you get to the stage where you just don’t want to get too close to anyone any more. I’m old now and I will always be kind and helpful to others but I’ve been so used by people I just want to be left alone with regard to friendships. Wishing you all the best and your daughter. ❤

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for watching. Take care

[@Nurturing2]

Agree!!!

[@neveragetv]

Mmmhhh...

[@Purpleseed95]

This video really helped me in a way you can’t imagine. Stay true to yourself!

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm so glad to hear this video helped you.

[@lisaheckler9157]

I haven't had any real friends since grade school. I was made fun of all thru HS, and the ones I thought were my friends then ridiculed me also. I'm 65 now and there is no one for me, I do get lonely but not much I can do. I know if I died no one would mourn me. Not feeling sorry for myself, just stating a fact.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Loneliness is awful. Thanks for being a part of my channel.

[@gwenewing6837]

I have family but as far as friends I feel same.

[@Gothlite-i1l]

Mourning and being mourned is highly overrated.

[@Mari-lv1rd]

@@lisaheckler9157 you will never know. Sometimes I think of all the people I have known and wonder if they think of me, I send love and it makes me feel good inside.

[@genxx2724]

When you pass, you will rejoin your loved ones. In the meantime, have the best time you can.

[@koset]

Wow, Amy. I got chills listening to your story. Something like that happened to me too. I am kicking myself for letting it go on for 20 years. My Queen Bee didn't kick me out of the group. She kept me around as an emotional punching bag. She used endless little slights, barbs, and jokes at my expense. She was able to corral all our mutual friends to join in and they didn't know, because they had been gaslighted into thinking it was harmless fun. I nearly ended myself from all that damage. I had to leave all 20+ of those friends and start over. I did and am.so much happier. It's still a little complicated since everyone knows everyone, but at least I'm alive.

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm so glad you finally got out of that toxic situation. How awful! I'm glad you chose to start over. I too started over and it took many years to "rebuild." Thanks for sharing!

[@sweetsunnydaygirl]

So glad you're alive. Thank God for You and your place in the world. Thanks for sharing. 🙏🛐🧡

[@sweetsunnydaygirl]

​@@amybrownmidlifeI'm so glad you are rebuilding, and your channel is definitely helping people. I'm rebuilding too, and it is painful. I'm still dealing with the shock and hurt of this person who called herself my friend for over 40 years. You are a blessing 🛐🙏🧡

[@dmulkey4185]

@@sweetsunnydaygirl I could be called the Happy Go Lucky girl but have discovered most people are just miserable if you are happy and fortunate and they are not.

[@deborahp-q3w]

my mother does that to me.

[@Justine-ut8ho]

After a couple of decades of shitty comments from my oldest friend (since 4th grade), the clincher for me was a bizarre conversation I had with her husband after my ex husband died of cancer. These people were not my friends and I had to finally get into reality about it. 40 years of “friendship” needed to end. I just blocked them. The end. That was 2 years ago and it’s such a relief. I have a lot of light friendships these days through my 12 step recovery groups and that suits me fine. I don’t date. I don’t have a best friend and I am happy just living my life. ❤

[@amybrownmidlife]

I'm glad you have found happiness. Thanks for watching

[@V8blue]

Similar situation however, I continue to be harassed by someone who I haven’t known well in 20 years, have barely spoken to in 10 years and rarely even think of… She’s taken it very personally and I just want to be left alone. I’ve had enough trauma in life.

[@Fegga1955]

Same all over the world.Just have aquaintances am slowly accepting We come and leave alone from this world.Enough is enough with toxics.Blessings

[@Fegga1955]

I never made it for friends from AA here in Greece,they were 4 rich,bitchy women.Small group.This yrs ago.Now must accept no real friend at 70.

[@wholefoodplantbasedmama5398]

Oh I totally relate. I walked away from two twenty year friendships with women who did not value me. It broke my heart but in conversations with my therapist I know it was the right thing to do.

[@meenaji4287]

I hv a lot of experiences with selfish friends . But it’s fine I don’t care anymore 😊. Having no friends is a blessing indeed .

[@kim-pm8gi]

I’m very content with no friends. Me and my dogs = happiness

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for sharing ~ Take care

[@christineshine2051]

I can identify with your experience! I am in my 70’s and this pecking order behavior still goes on!

[@amybrownmidlife]

That is so sad but I absolutely believe it. Group dynamics never change.

[@NatureChaser43]

I’m 43. I don’t have any close friends. I’m ok with doing everything alone. My best friend is my dog Fiona

[@slhickinson43]

💯🎯‼️

[@jontim7667]

I can only have a hamster... sooooo my friend sleeps all day :( tips on being alone.. at night he does give me hamsterlove :D

[@stillkicking2445]

I find that the best friendships just happen naturally……

[@sapphira5323]

I stayed friends with someone I knew since highschool who would tell me I was the girl she loved to hate..I thought she was joking because she had a sarcastic sense of humor so brushed it off but finally went no contact. She backstabbed me many times as I was a people pleaser so I tolerated it because she had her "good friend" moments. So true when people show you who they are believe them the first time ❤️ thank you for sharing

[@MaryTull-c9r]

I had my closest best friend throw me over 3 times I allowed it, dropped me like a hot potato! Needless to say , no best friend for me, I’m enjoying life too much😊

[@PositivelyPam]

There is an old saying: "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" It sounds like these women were never your friends and were very immature to be resorting to junior high antics. The "queen bee" was probably very miserable with her life outside the group and felt like it was out of control, so she wanted to exert control over the group. You definitely don't need people like that, and very often the universe removes people from your life because you deserve better. You weren't rejected; you repelled what wasn't right for you.

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thank you for your words of wisdom.

[@CobraDove1111]

Yes, that is the bright side and beautifully said❤

[@vickijohnson9367]

I’ve lived in 22 “homes”, in 14 different cities in 6 different states. Keeping a best friend simply was never possible, we moved far from family. Military truth is, that humans don’t stay close if there is no physical proximity. And familiarity can definitely breed contempt. Luckily, my pets always moved with me, so pets have always been my best friends, and I’m a horse lover. Horses are a lot of work, staying busy with horses is always a gift from God.🐴💞

[@amybrownmidlife]

Yes, I agree with you - humans don't stay close if there is no physical proximity.

[@CK-yh9mi]

Okay Amy, you got yourself a new subscriber. It’s refreshing to see content creators being unafraid to share social irregularities and the volume of responses. While these behaviors, be it from friend(s) or family, may be seen as normal for some, when you’re older, or more seasoned you’ll appreciate that you stepped away from that roller coaster of harmful yet accepted irresponsible social behaviors and embrace you! 🎉 that’s worthy of celebrating!!

[@amybrownmidlife]

Thanks for subbing! Welcome to my channel!