“It’s Time for Your Wife To Find Some Work”

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[@karimelmoutawakil7295]

My name is Abdel too. I'm from the same culture and tell you that you chose to make those decisions. I had small party for family cost me under 6k between celebration, ring and honeymoon. With extra money I put it in house down-payment. Where I come from debt is against values, and religion so I just buy what I can afford cash and if I can't I save for it.

[@lovethemflowers]

So you don't really have to buy $10,000 worth of gold for the wife when you get married? So what culture is this?

[@Jane-rh7tc]

@@lovethemflowers doesn't matter what culture, the point is there are a lot of grey areas and wiggle room for these kinds of traditions. It all depends on individuals on how much ppl willing to spend. Same in the US, there are 100k weddings that are claimed to be a "must" and there are also 5k wedding involving having reception in the backyard or corner of a restaurant. Where I came from, I heard a lot of horror stories abt parents demanding huge sum of $$ before they agree to have the guy marry their daughter, but the reality often is just the parents being greedy and see it as an opportunity to profit off marrying their kids.

[@starrystarrynight6281]

Got married 48 years ago in my parents living room and drove to Disneyland for a 3 day honeymoon. We have never regretted it for one moment.

[@BlueDauntless]

Sounds great!

[@Tyrell-Jemmott]

Truly amazing

[@susancnw59]

48 yrs ago, 3 days at Disneyland was amazing.

[@leatharay3565]

We got married 58 yrs ago. Verbal invites. Married in a suite. Reception at a friends home and husband and I went to Biloxi Miss for 3 days

[@debbieholoquist2059]

Only 43 years for us, and it was Disney World. I've always said it's more about what you put into the marriage, not what you put into the wedding!

[@lindawilson4625]

"In our culture..." often followed by doing something not in your best interest and/or expensive.

[@thebullgator]

Your culture is broken if it requires being this stupid with money.

[@stephenj5980]

Fresh out of the military I had no debt and about 36k in stocks. I married someone from another country and paid a lot to get her to the States. Anytime we visited her family she expected us to pay for everything we did. When I told her “no”, she would act like a child until I said yes. It was a huge mistake and ended in about 76k in debt and a divorce. Be careful who you marry. You need to be compatible financially and spiritually, not just physically. Met my current wife and things are wonderful. We’re on the same page with everything which makes life sooo much easier.

[@CPATuttle]

Thanks for sharing

[@NeoAndersonReloaded]

Yup!

[@juliejohnson3835]

So much for passport bros.

[@wenchefauske6898]

They see themself as rich when married a man from usa.

[@barbaramartinez8999]

My husband brought me from Venezuela, but I paid for the entire process, it seemed completely fair to me. Our wedding cost 900 dollars.

[@wbae1340]

My mom doesn’t even have a hs degree and has worked for almost 40 years…

[@ruthirwin8222]

Methinks she is only there for the green card

[@katemiller7874]

First of all 40 years ago it didn’t matter. This lady sounds like she can’t speak English well. It will be much harder for her. Also not leaving my infant at daycare

[@analyticalchick3064]

She can work in a daycare. First kid is free where I live.

[@Ruffles2012]

This is actually good advice unlike everyone else who is just being racist in the comments

[@BusArch42]

Agreed. They usually offer cut rate or free care for employees.

[@BeyondTigerMilk]

@@Ruffles2012 It's racist to say it's a bad idea to spend 40k when you are broke?

[@jumpiam8477]

It seem like she doesn't speak English well. Give her time!

[@TheSoulCrisis]

@@BeyondTigerMilkThought I was alone lmao. 😵‍💫

[@tiffanyyllera5977]

My elopement was one/third of ONE paycheck! So glad we did it that way and opted out of a wedding entirely!!!

[@BlueDauntless]

Mine was under $5k. It was family pitching in, all in cash. It wasn’t big or flashy or fancy. I’m so glad we didn’t go into debt for an elaborate wedding.

[@Jakkaribik1]

@@BlueDauntless No Point for maby 3 Days to Spend the whole Years Income..

[@BlueDauntless]

@@Jakkaribik1Agreed.

[@aolvaar8792]

Have her sign a Joint tax return, (Common Law Marriage State)

[@mommalion7028]

Sounds very un romantic. It’s supposed to be special.

[@estelle5686]

Take care of someone else's child who is working. That's a weekly income. Be home with your child and add one. There's a great need and it can be done easily. Done. Instant income.

[@sandrab.3538]

That was my first thought.

[@Jane-rh7tc]

great idea, she's already taking care of a kid, should be easy to take on one more, and she's young enough to have energy to do so either

[@jennifersamples2518]

The gold is probably over seas with his wife’s family

[@ddrebrne3336]

He thought getting a wife from overseas would be cheaper 😂😂😂

[@Jane-rh7tc]

it could be a must do by his culture, some cultures are very strict in this area, even if he is already in the US for a long time, he still needs to abide the culture, could be requests from his parents.

[@bufficliff8978]

^Other cultures are very racist and will look down on one another for marrying outside of their race or religion.

[@laynesackett5659]

7 month olds sleep a lot hahaha!! Mine must have skipped that stage

[@LaCasaAcademy]

Dave clearly didn't stay home with his 7-month-old kids.

[@leghornlife]

That statement made steam come out of my head. Being in charge of a 7 month old is ridiculously tough and BUSY

[@whatevergoesforme5129]

true

[@melanieb2132]

They sleep for 30 minutes.. enough time to open a computer and shut it again

[@jang5918]

I could not believe he was saying that! Lol

[@GrannyDryden]

The road to debt is paved with good intentions.

[@thomasdalton1508]

She needs to sell that $10,000 in gold. The purpose of that gold is so she has something to fall back on if they get divorced, but that's not how divorce law works in the US so it makes no sense to be holding onto $10,000 in gold when you are $60,000 in debt.

[@rolandhansen812]

He did say he had to give her the gold. I had originally thought he had to pay the "bride price" to her father. It would be good to know whether or not he still has the gold or if it's held by her dad.

[@thomasdalton1508]

@@rolandhansen812 It will be held by the wife. A bride price paid to a father wouldn't typically be in gold. Gold is generally held by women. This is a "dower" (not to be confused with a dowry, which is paid by the bride's father) if you want to look it up.

[@TurnUpTheVdeoSpeed]

/ RETIRE BY 30 IN AMERICA/ The Gold was most likely a dowry payment to the wife's family. It's actually pretty typical in second and third world countries. As far as the wife goes.. seriously as long as she can speak good enough English she could be working a insurance agent job from home. Minimalism and cheap property for the win. Retire younger through hard work and not waste your money on meaningless fake luxuries. The younger you retire the more time you have to actually truly enjoy your life. Don't worry about what your neighbors have.

[@stevenporter863]

2:20 $10,000 gold when you are in debt!? With all respect to traditions; this guy should not have gotten married.

[@nicolelewis6312]

​@@rolandhansen812I think it's the dowry. I think he overspent but he's also doing things kind of backwards as far as preparing for marriage.

[@linuxsurfer2002]

$30k wedding is INSANE, let alone the $10k in gold.

[@darkshadow955]

Seems like simp activity??????

[@AT-cy9uh]

My client had an 800k wedding. 30k wasn’t even the food.

[@lionheart93]

a t least gold is worth more now lol

[@og6433]

@@lionheart93 The gold most likely stayed in her family so they can't even sell that now.

[@adrianruvalcaba2896]

It's actually not, that's the average cost of a wedding in the US

[@MichaelFrederickPhoto]

This same topic was a major issue in my marriage. She refused to work enough to support our very basic lifestyle. I worked FT, she worked 20hrs a week as a nurse. She demanded “You are the man of the house, get a 2nd job!”. At that time $10-11hr was more than likely while she had $45hr. When the debt became to much, she wanted to declare bankruptcy and I refused as I said SHE needed to work more, that would solve it. Issue lead to our divorce!!! I now refuse to be with anyone who doesn’t have fiscal responsibility.

[@captainman2clever351]

I think if a w8fe has children she shouldn't need to work She is working

[@greaterishe7197]

Love this!! I recently told a friend that I don't want to be with someone that has a lot of debt as I don't want to be expected to help repay it. My friend said I was selfish😮.... I picked up a part time job and I have been working upwards to over 100 hours a week at times. The same way I took responsibility for my situation, I would want someone who has/is doing the same.

[@karenhardie1132]

There are jobs you can work from home. A friend I know did insurance billing from home. You can also take in a daycare kid and make some money. There are weekends and opposite shifts.

[@katemiller7874]

This chick can barely speak English. Are you kidding.

[@blueyellow3621]

It’s unrealistic. She is, probably, had poor or no English at all. She is likely coming from a very poor country where she hasn’t learned ANY COMPUTER SKILLS AT ALL. Plus , she is a new mom, and she is very, very young. If she has a post partum depression, she needs big help before she starts to work

[@OperationWojak]

Being a simp isn’t cheap

[@dannelson9124]

Dave said he was debt-free what happened let's think about that.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Some still have to learn the hard way.

[@TurnUpTheVdeoSpeed]

/ RETIRE BY 30 IN AMERICA/ Yeah it sounds like he ordered a mail order bride. Probably from pressure from his family as well. All the BS of when are you going to give me grandkids and all that nonsense. A genius line that one guy came up with was. Okay I'll have grandkids if the grandparents sign complete paperwork to pay for all the responsibilities. Lol Then watch how quickly the husband's parents stop badgering him about having grandchildren.

[@boston312]

Just wait till the divorce proceedings take place. These guys are easy pickings for the divorce lawyers

[@BigBoiler508]

Simpin’ ain’t easy

[@nuffsez5625]

He went overseas to get a traditional wife. Now, he has a traditional life.

[@katemiller7874]

He’s obviously from there

[@cssatkins77]

Not always my wife is from west Berlin, I have friends that they're ladies are from Europe, but they changed for the worst since they've been in the US

[@Neoquaker1]

A non-traditional wife will still expect you to be traditional.

[@honieebean]

Yep. It's all fun and games until reality hits

[@OezgeSebisteri]

How is this a traditional life? And how is this related to his debt?

[@nhuquynh6938]

Idk man. As a woman came from another country, I wouldn't let my husband going to bad financial situation like this because of cultural things. We simply got married at courthouse and then used all our savings for our house. We even bought new car with all cash as our old Toyota broke down last year. Our only debt right now is house mortgage. We're happily married and looking forward to more adventures together. If she loves you enough, she would do the same to you. Hope things work out to you and your fam.

[@Primitive_Code]

I'm Middle Eastern too and one of the best things I did was leave that culture and religion out the door when I came to the States. Neither have a place over here.

[@Nardaa-ox3be]

He mixed worst parts of both cultures - bride price from his old culture and high interest loans from his new country. It should have gone the other way. Free bride from new culture and save-to-spend mentality from the old country. What a mess this poor guy has made.

[@CPATuttle]

😂 you’re smart

[@6663000]

correct

[@gribble2979]

Truer words were never spoken!

[@miskiin236]

What a loser!! You shouldn’t leave your religion if you are telling the truth.

[@titolovely8237]

This is sadly an all too often atory for guys. They’re doing really well and then they get married and everything falls apart. Guys… who you marry is the most importantly decision you’ll ever make. Do not sleep on how important it is.

[@Jane-rh7tc]

same for women, marrying a toxic husband is way worse than just staying single

[@mamasadembou3604]

We were pressured to way overspend for our wedding. Fortunately my husband learnt to say no to his family just before the wedding!

[@scratch57]

All cultures encourage spending money. It’s never an excuse to make stupid financial decisions.

[@ugabuga1361]

My wedding was half of my paycheck…. Well I’m his age and I’m glad I didn’t fall for that crap… I bet the wife’s family didn’t chip in at all.

[@jollama]

Imagine having an expensive wedding

[@jaybah836]

Right

[@Fe26man]

I got married in 2020 specifically because only 10 people could attend (by “law” or Covid rules). It was at an in-laws’ living room. Brother in law became certified to marry us online and 2 people signed as witnesses. I wore my mom’s wedding dress. We paid maybe $50 between jewelry and a head piece. The other sister in law did my hair and makeup (she’s a cosmetologist). He passed, but if I get married again (I’m in my 30’s), it will be something like this. Instead of a ring, I want a 5 oz bar of gold. If he wants me to wear a ring (I’d rather not), it will be pure gold or platinum with no diamonds. My last ring had a big one, that’s now basically worthless! (I like the gold idea tbh, I know it’s been criticized… but that’s been my idea for the last year, as well)

[@FTG2Eli]

@@Fe26man Good times during COVID!

[@mattorama]

@@jollama Imagine having an expensive wedding to marry a woman who brings no income to the family.

[@neisci]

I come from one of those cultures and I have seen many times the bride putting her foot down saying that's too much. Those things have to be within reason, to start a life with debt it's not the way but again, people all over still get loans to afford weddings they had no business being part of. A tale as old as time.

[@carmenross1077]

If your wife don’t want to work at home, she can babysit in your home very decent job and profitable too. She can get children she can babysit

[@FR-tb7xh]

The irony - the guy’s over his head financially yet works in finance for a non-profit refuge organization. No wonder our country’s circling the drain.

[@michaelallen3304]

That’s exactly what I thought. This guy is dead in the water and he’s helping other people?? We don’t need more refugees anyways.

[@TonyCox1351]

Not sure I understand the connection. This guy makes almost double the median individual income. How would it be any different if he made $60K managing a department store or as a plumber?

[@rolandhansen812]

@@TonyCox1351 The irony is that he works in finance and can't even handle his own finances. Would you hire a plumber whose pipes are always leaking?

[@adamseidel9780]

@@TonyCox1351uh no he doesn’t. Not even close. He makes $12,000 more than the median individual income, but LESS than the median income for men who work full time.

[@seanmeagher4754]

It's also ironic that he makes a living destroying the country and now his own personal life is being destroyed lol. Serves him right

[@jesssc402]

He wont let her work and she wouldnt work. Home boy needs to earn more. Wanting a traditional wife has a price tag, and he wasn’t even broke before they got married

[@julieanncheshire9960]

Gold is not "how you get married overseas" but it is a required dowry in some parts of the world, such as the Middle East. You cannot get married for example, in Saudi Arabia, without giving gold to the bride. It is not optional if you want to get married. The wife keeps the gold as a sort of insurance plan.

[@anissabezzerrouki7276]

Hey ! Im from middle east - this is BS. What is Bs is the 10k Gold. Insane ! My mom at the time had around 700 in jewellery. And for a majority this is not gold but cows or sheep given to the father In addition to that, when organising the weeding, each familly present, at the end of the meal has to give an envelope with cash, one by one , and can be any amount they wish to give , to the bride an groom They found their bank unfortunately and he should have set the tone It absolutely doesn’t cost that much. A 30k wedding… 🤦‍♀️ this is crazy!. I feel so sorry for him. She is irresponsible and took advantage of this poor lad

[@katemiller7874]

This is his experience not yours

[@davelarouche1005]

Then dont get married if you cant afford the gold. How hard would that be.

[@CaToRi-]

There are cultures, like some in Middle East, that if the man don’t give the gold, he wouldn’t be allowed to marry. The jewelry is non negotiable.

[@bradleymaravalli2851]

While some may want to respect that, that is no reason to go into debt. Buying gold or jewelry is something one should save up for.

[@thomasdalton1508]

That's because divorce laws work differently and the gold is the only thing the wife would have if the man divorced her. It isn't necessary in the US because divorce laws work differently.

[@CaToRi-]

@@bradleymaravalli2851agreed

[@CaToRi-]

@@thomasdalton1508exactly

[@BlueDauntless]

But they’re in the US. How westernized are they? It may be time to ditch some traditions that aren’t helpful.

[@xreediculousx]

40k for a wedding to someone who "can't work because they have a high school diploma". You picked a real winner. You both sound like great people who make good decisions.

[@JoyofRVing]

He was doing great, no debt with $20K in savings until he married her. This wife is bad news.

[@madisonhruschka3718]

@@JoyofRVing He had student loans that are still at 22k.

[@Jane-rh7tc]

@@madisonhruschka3718maybe he got the loan after they got married?

[@goodone5590]

​@@JoyofRVingshe is a free rider, women like that dont want to work as they see as too stressful

[@Nicolllld]

I’m a stay at home mom and I don’t have to work 🎉 you know why cause I’m not in debt 🎉 I don’t buy shit I don’t need

[@michaelallen3304]

My wife doesn’t work either. She also doesn’t get thousands of dollars worth of gold bought on credit 😂😂😂

[@BlueDauntless]

@@michaelallen3304That’s wild.

[@Nicolllld]

@@michaelallen3304 exactly !

[@Jakkaribik1]

Stay at Home Mom did not have the skills to work while the Man is at home change it up for once

[@Nicolllld]

@@Jakkaribik1 pipe down! Everyone’s situation is different.

[@oraza66]

That's one heck of expensive wedding!The family had taken advantage of the situation

[@Fishouta]

Imagine if "only a high school education" really meant you could not work.

[@katemiller7874]

She’s from another country. It’s not the same in the US. Try living somewhere where you don’t speak the language

[@thehungrywolf69]

🗣 The wife isn’t the problem. It’s the fact that he spent money he DIDN’T have. Nothing wrong with a stay at home wife watching the baby. 💯

[@CPATuttle]

Yeah he didn’t have money to have a stay at home wife. Or at least that one

[@thejuliasaro]

The wife is a big problem- most SAHM are the problem.

[@leghornlife]

Stay at home mom IS the job !

[@JoyofRVing]

@@leghornlife to be SAHM is the ambition of girls that didn’t do well in school and can’t hold a job.

[@thejuliasaro]

@@leghornlife sure- keep telling yourself that.

[@JoeyNYSDnomad]

Stop blaming your culture for poor decisions.

[@darkshadow955]

Yea

[@matthewphillips5483]

The culture is dumb though.

[@muradshawar]

Where you from brother . In some cultures it’s either you buy the gold or you don’t get the married life

[@matthewphillips5483]

@@muradshawar I'll be single then. :D

[@michelleh4717]

@@muradshawar so?

[@sallylewis5332]

As soon as this man tells his wife to get a job, she’ll get pregnant again. She wants to be taken care of. He’s doomed.

[@sophia8405]

Exactly seducing him same night

[@aao449]

Who will impregnate her?!🤔🤣

[@Primitive_Code]

If she's middle eastern and grew up there, you are definitely right.

[@csx6910]

For sure. She's a burden.

[@TonyCox1351]

Women should not be working with a 7 month old baby. A mother’s role in society is to work at home taking care of the newborn. Ya’ll are off your rocker

[@ddubsr5886]

The gold was probably given to the father and it was probably supposed to be a gesture that since I can come up with all this gold, I can afford to take care of your daughter; versus I’m a broke guy with no money no gold and trust me with your daughter.

[@mommalion7028]

Yeah Dave didn’t really get this aspect of it. Caller was deceiving wife and her family by using credit.

[@rockinroland0]

My wife is Thai and we didn’t do the gold Thai wedding and everything. But yes, many people do it because the culture. It shows that the man has the ability to support the wife without the need of the parents anymore, traditionally of course.

[@BlueDauntless]

It seems like that’s a lie in this case. He bought it on credit.

[@joseheredia9275]

Your wife must be a rare breed of Thai since bride price with gold is the breath of life over there. If not, watch Thai talk with Dan.

[@lefromthecity]

Did he say he bought his wife for 10k in gold?

[@Sizukun1]

Probably wedding bands and other jewelry. Seems like Dave and you think he's showing up with a small gold bar.

[@1stLtDavis]

It's more than that because in Thailand you're expected to kick her family a couple of hundred dollars per month pretty much for the rest of your life

[@rachaelsills8450]

Dowry

[@jeffsingleton88]

She could be from india, in which case it would be bullion​@@Sizukun1

[@jackb5640]

No

[@enikooh2878]

Did the wife know about it? Did she know that he didn't have the money for it and went into debt? It's one thing if he couldn't say no, and it's another thing if he lied and pretended to be someone who he wasn't.

[@tito305pty]

Coughed up my coffee. Dave: "did you say gold??" Lmao

[@yangyang6203]

If you really love your husband and have self-respect, you respect your husband’s culture, too. I came from that culture, too. Not only I didn’t ask for any money from my husband even I knew he definitely can offered it, but also I brought enough money with me when we were married.

[@yangyang6203]

The second year I went to community college, next year I can get my certification and start working in the health care field. With the money I brought in and my husband’ s income, I don’t have to work actually. But I’d like to make more contributions contribution. It’s just personal choice.

[@tones_2466]

"It's so foreign to me" no pun intended lol. Best dad joke lol

[@pulidobl]

Our culture is the engagement ring…

[@gigiwoodlawn2142]

Not for everyone

[@ScottishTerrorsInLA]

Frickin $10k of gold would be way smarter since it retains its purchase price or increases. You’ll never get purchase price for a used wedding ring.

[@DEE-o4v]

My wife's was $800 in 1989.......that was plenty...but I paid for it....cash.

[@60Airflyte]

This guy got bamboozled by a mail order bride and he’s afraid to lose her so he keeps paying up. He can’t say, “I don’t have the money” because he’s afraid she’ll take the money and split.

[@benmyers9030]

Bingo. This guy is an incel so he took the pay to play option. She won't take a job under any circumstance. That way she is ensured primary custody along with alimony and child support in the impending divorce. She will file when he explains that the credit card is maxed out

[@feilox]

@@benmyers9030 lmao that's a head exploder.

[@sfteevee8303]

Lmao, sounds like an immigrant who married from his home country within their culture.

[@sfteevee8303]

Also, lmao that American women don't do that. 50+ percent divorce rate. You people are hilarious.

[@60Airflyte]

@@sfteevee8303 you bought a bride too?

[@googleaccount5225]

That gold culture sounds like a pyramid scheme

[@blueyellow3621]

No, it’s not. It’s a very old tradition to pay bride’s parents a douhry for raising their daughter to be a wife.

[@Kay12ization]

@@blueyellow3621 Old and DUMB traditions need to be called out for being antiquated and out of sync with modern times. Leave that crap where it makes at least some sense with local law.

[@jwmeister]

I did that and had to pay $2,800 permanent spousal maintenance and $55K for a divorce lawyer. Six years later and I am almost able to see daylight again.

[@00177454419]

Cultural norms are cultural norms. They're hard to get around and unless this guy was willing to offend his wife's family he may have been stuck. But he needs to get a real job with a real company that pays a market wage and he needs to pick up an Uber gig. If he can make another 20G it'll make a big dent in his debt.

[@jorgesalazar818]

Sell the gold! Return the wife.

[@Loljjkb]

He didn’t buy his wife. Maybe your mother was a commodity? 😂

[@cn8pm]

That's why they ask for the gold. Restocking fee or make it work.

[@stevenporter863]

Why do people then push back on the idea of a prenup and this tradition isn't given a second thought? A prenup is just the modern legal version that is more organized.

[@boston312]

​@stevenporter863 why even get married at all? Keep the state and divorce lawyers out of your personal finances. You can still be in love, have kids, have an inheritance without signing a marriage contract

[@mommalion7028]

@@boston312 girls don’t do this. This dude is dusty as heck. Man needs to be able to cover all the bills himself in case you end up having a bunch of kids or special needs kids that keep you from working many years. Odd jobs like laundry or pet sitting really only earn beer money they can’t make up for a dude not pulling his weight as a provider.

[@robloxvids2233]

The good news is most of this was one-off expenses. I'd be more worried if 60k debt was just from living a lifestyle you can't afford. Those habits are harder to break. Work more and when mom can start working she needs to. You're young, you'll get there.

[@boston312]

He got married and had kids. There you go. The fun hasnt even began yet, wait till the wife and the lawyers get at him in the divorce courts

[@janeoleary8454]

They had a caller who was going to have a 500,000 wedding. From India

[@warwagon]

Wife could work for a fake tech support call center from home.

[@darkshadow955]

Yup absolutely

[@ryanj357]

Lol she's probably too high maintenance to do something like that though.

[@spiritualcosmeticss]

Sounds like he bought a mail order bride he couldn’t afford 😭

[@TonyCox1351]

It sounds more like he’s from another country and went back there to marry in an arranged marriage. The guy clearly has an accent from wherever he’s originally from. I wouldn’t call that a “mail order” but I guess that’s just semantics

[@NickM_FirstofHisName]

Nope. Arranged Indian marriage

[@NickM_FirstofHisName]

​@@TonyCox1351Steve from Minnesota. And Microsoft. (Just a joke, I'm not cist, I'm brown myself)

[@spiritualcosmeticss]

@@NickM_FirstofHisName was there a cheaper way he could’ve did his arranged marriage?

[@NickM_FirstofHisName]

@@spiritualcosmeticss Yes. You can call my show to find out how.

[@lr9010]

If she can't get a good paying job outside the home, they will pay more in childcare than she makes.

[@AlgonquinPrincess]

She can babysit Stay home and offer childcare

[@suen5006]

@@AlgonquinPrincess Yes! I thought of that, excellent idea.

[@AndTheyCalledHerBeauty]

that’s always the excuse for why stay at home parents “can’t” bring in an income.

[@enriquericapa933]

This is a 90 day Fiance call 😂😂

[@odelllucas]

A dowry is normal in some countries. My cousin married an Egyptian and it took him awhile to save up the money.

[@bigcatdaddy7573]

You don’t need a college degree to work. Plenty of factories, restaurants, etc…

[@nc4582]

I married my wife a little over 10 years ago, and we spent less than $5,000 on our wedding, which included the town hall and around $2,000 for a vacation to the Dominican Republic. In contrast, my cousin spent $200,000 on his wedding and divorced just three years later. At that time, I was earning a mid-six-figure income, but my wife has never been into shiny things or expensive tastes. I believe that choosing the right life partner is critical for happiness and stability in life.

[@rabarjamal3213]

You really can't say no when it comes to the gold, its our culture which I'm not in favor of, what you can do is cancel the wedding and marriage.

[@BlueDauntless]

They’re already married though. How does that work?

[@1stLtDavis]

Oh, usually you're expected to put a few hundred dollars towards her family back in Thailand as well! Whether she stayed or left. It's quite the investment - marrying an outsider

[@1stLtDavis]

Per month

[@benmyers9030]

Expect in one hand and poo in the other, then tell me what you've got

[@xyz987123abc]

F that... I am marrying her, not her family..

[@rbraxton00]

Sir, what!?!?!?!? I need someone to get some clues. I’m sure he won’t. The wife won’t let him. She’s not, because he took her hand and said he could take care of her. He was/is in over his head.

[@felipeoliveira2219]

its always the same thing ppl overspend and then blame parents, wife, government, friends etc n etc...

[@mommalion7028]

Men will never take accountability for their own actions. 😂 it’s always mom/wife/feminisms fault they are failing. No dude you were married at gun point. Figure it out.

[@CPATuttle]

How’s it not the wife? He had no debt before her.

[@sabrahwright6992]

@@CPATuttle Because he was the one that chose her. The same goes with a car, it's not the car's fault. He choose what he wanted and agreed to the price. If he couldn't afford it, as Dave pointed out, he should've said 'no' and married someone else.

[@FortuneSeek3rz]

This is America, don't import debt... we have enough already.

[@PamalaClift]

She invested her body and the constant attention and nursing. Never put money requirements on a nursing mother. You try that … crap advice.

[@coolaunt516]

I googled and it appears that the Thai culture requires a gift of gold to the bride to be.

[@rickm6076]

so does this one. It's called the engagement ring

[@benmyers9030]

Cultures can't require anything. The negotiation for marriage is made with the wife. If she is into you, she will abandon her culture, family and everything else that gets in the way of being with you.

[@drjlrust]

She lives in America now. She needs to deal with the culture here.

[@LightofDey]

My thing is saving money for something I need within the next week takes tooooo long and I feel hopeless so I go finance it. Mostly talking about a car

[@richard1113]

It sounds like the caller is from India. A few of my Indian friends have told me about this tradition of there being gold for the wedding. Unfortunately, I don't know the details.

[@Hdhfhhdh]

I’m from India but it’s usually the other way around. The bride family buys the gold

[@richard1113]

@@Hdhfhhdh Yes, I thought that was true too but the caller got me confused. Cheers!

[@TurnUpTheVdeoSpeed]

/ RETIRE BY 30 IN AMERICA / Well maybe it was a mail order bride. 🤔

[@anxie_teaa]

In Islam you have to pay the bride or the bride’s father ( I forgot who) ‘mahr’ to get married…. So Muslim Indians will give the bride money.. but the dowry system is so rampant across all Indian cultures that the Muslim bride has to multiply the mahr by some and give that dowry to the grooms family.. across all religions the lower class usually give 250 grams of gold, middle class usually gives 1000 grams of gold and a car.. I’m not sure about the upper class… if the bride works after marriage which in most cases she will be that will also go to her husband and she will be living with the in-laws… exceptions exist but this is the majority…

[@Fishouta]

Thailand requires groom to give gold to bride's family

[@memeworld7800]

This man was desperate to get married and does not have any self confidence or conviction. That is the key problem here, NOT the cultural nuances which exposed him.

[@ugabuga1361]

I work as a refugee humanitarian but I make 60k… who is paying his paycheck? Donations? Tax payers probably.

[@Mansini77]

No kidding. Refugees? More like economic migrants from Columbia and Venezuela looking for free everything.

[@analyticalchick3064]

tax payers

[@Melissa-Isaiah61BeautyforAshes]

Illegals need to be deported. The USA is falling 😢 Such lawlessness😢

[@wreckers_band8825]

Probably a non profit, so the pay is crappy

[@HOLDXSTEEL]

I don’t even get your comment lol are you upset he makes a little more than you?

[@MrJimmy3459]

One card 20 grand? That's quite the credit limit

[@rolandhansen812]

Especially at his age and financial resources.

[@NeoAndersonReloaded]

Mines is 53k So idk

[@Hajibaba500]

I am surprised dave didn’t tell him to sell the 10k in gold, it actually might be worth more depending on when he bought it

[@beerkegaard]

Gold was given to his wife's family

[@Hajibaba500]

@@beerkegaard really? I assumed the gold was a requirement to give to his wife, not her mom or dad.

[@melinda67]

It’s the same as selling your wedding ring in that culture. Selling the gold means divorce

[@bethanyg153]

If she’s bilingual she could tutor in foreign language.

[@rachelhoag7573]

I don't know how viable that is, particularly with just a high school education from her native country. To make a living (or even just side hustle money) as a language tutor, you generally have to have at least some education in that field. Just because you speak a language does not mean you can teach it effectively, particularly to non-speakers. Some 300 million Americans speak English, but comparatively few of them could explain the intricacies of English grammar in a way that helped someone learn the language. How do you know the difference between a countable and an uncountable noun, and why does it matter? What verb tense is appropriate in what situation and why? This is what teaching a language requires you to know. And then you've got the issue of demand. Even if she could tutor in her native language (which given Abdel's name, I'm going to assume is Arabic, but it could be something else like Farsi or Kurdish), is there enough demand for that in Ft. Worth, TX? If she looks to tutor online, what does she have to offer that goes above/beyond the free resources like Duolingo or Mango Languages? With an actual credential or training in language instruction, that will be a hard path to travel.

[@sithandiweshange6568]

In my culture, bride price (lobola/ dowry) is part of marriage negotiations. It has gotten more expensive in the years. Before you even start your married life journey, you have spent so much and have almost nothing.

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

Watching someone else's baby along with her baby is a way to earn money. I've known several immigrants from Eastern European countries who cleaned houses while studying English.

[@brittaniwilliams9464]

Her work with a 7m old is wild. Her attention needs to be on the baby and making sure she is sane and healthy

[@mommalion7028]

Right? The family asks for the wedding and jewelry as a screening process to keep out dusties and passport bros who are broke. This caller basically tricked this woman into marrying him using credit cards to give a false sense of financial security to his in-laws. Mom needs to focus on baby. Trad wife needs the trad husband to figure out how to pay the bills himself.

[@anglofrancaiseyvonne9349]

Cultures are complicated, I got married in France and wouldn't do what they believe in from the UK, I live in France I do french way

[@starrystarrynight6281]

It amazes me how people wrack up debt and then expect a debt consolidation company to get you off the hook, and WE pay for it in higher prices.

[@beck943]

He "needed" to buy $10,000 in gold to be "allowed" to marry? Did he marry an adult woman, or a child??

[@Drkbardockssj]

Hey man Arabs don't play he had to give it too her it's called a Mahr pretty sure I was trying to has out his accent. That's just how they are man everything is a flex just like the wedding it really to show off for our parents so everyone says wow look how they raised him to have money. Pretty dumb

[@megalodon1726]

That's how it is in some cultures overseas. She would not have been allowed to marry if he didn't buy the gold. She was probably living with her parents and couldn't afford to live independently on $2/day wages, so she had to obey her parents.

[@beck943]

@@megalodon1726 Then don't get married. Or, marry the dependent girl who can't make any decisions for herself, and you'll have to carry 100% of the responsibility for everything, the rest of your life. 🤦

[@Tehui1974]

Dave advised him (with exaggeration) to take "three extra jobs". Finances are important, but doing that will cost him quality time as a father. It's his wife who needs to pick up part time work and contribute financially. They're a family who are in the same boat.

[@matthewlynaugh5797]

Isn’t it the other way around shouldn’t she of paid him to marry her since she didn’t have citizenship

[@CPATuttle]

😂

[@Silented1234]

30k for a wedding? 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@Blissedx]

Many women won’t say this but lots of women that do stay home don’t believe their marriage would be worth it if they had to work too…..🤷🏽‍♀️

[@janelle458]

Marriage can be work itself

[@GreenArt4]

I’m from the Middle East, which is where this couple seems to be from. The idea of the gold is that’s it’s an insurance in case of the divorce. Obviously divorce laws work very differently in the states so it shouldn’t be necessary, but this actually touches on a very interesting thing. As western ideas reach here and focus on changing the default idea of women putting home/family first, there’s nothing that talks about the things men are expected to do like providing housing, money for the home, etc. You’re actually seeing women here nowadays who put career over family, but at the same time refuse to marry any man who won’t provide an expensive home, expensive wedding, etc. Basically, gender roles for thee but not for me. It’s either both or none in my book.

[@jusplay7309]

Yup their game plan is to gain all the privilege and simultaneously outsource all the responsibility

[@CPATuttle]

Can men get insurance ?

[@estelle5686]

The expensive weddings were coming into vogue early to mid 1980s. I was married in 1985. We had a lovely wedding, church, flowers, tenor, reception, invited 110 people, probably 100 showed up. My husband and I paid for the entire wedding ourselves and it was an inexpensive, classy, loved by all wedding. I even sold my wedding dress years later when I ended up having a boy for half of what it was worth. We had a few really generous wedding gifts and others who couldn't afford much or anything at all. We didn't go into debt or ask family and we were in our 20s. My aunt paid for the rehearsal dinner because she wanted to at her request to do something special for us. We weren't looking for friends or family to finance our wedding. It was a celebration. Many friends had huge halls, expensive plates of dinners and thousands in expenses that parents paid for entirely out of pridefulness. Enough for a down payment for a house some of these weddings even then! I am from the USA!

[@gregorypeterson9]

Congratulations telling what he's won Bob.....a set of steak knives and a beautiful marriage.

[@CPATuttle]

“My culture” means man gives women money

[@theresa78201]

The money probably went to her parents.

[@Chet_24]

By "refugees" he means illegal immigrants

[@muniondalenewyurk6777]

🙄

[@krinkton23]

You realize there are also legal ways to enter the country? Like fleeing a war?

[@huydang813]

Being a refugee is also a legal way to enter a country. Obviously not all of them will be accepted. I don’t agree with calling them illegal immigrants unless they are in the country without the government knowing

[@MrTmenzo]

It's usually cheaper to get a overseas wife according to passport bros 😂

[@sfteevee8303]

It is, boomer.

[@aolvaar8792]

Wouldn't you rather have a 29 year old, with a Masters and $160K college debt, 30 headcount, Tattoos and piercings, and carrying an extra 50 pounds

[@mommalion7028]

@@aolvaar8792 maybe? Everyone has their type dude. This poster is just pointing out non-western doesn’t equal cheap. Trad wives expect trad husbands. Unless they are absolutely desperate they will not tolerate 50/50 nonsense.

[@ryanj357]

@@mommalion7028 Most women who claim to be "trad" aren't trad lol

[@aolvaar8792]

@@ryanj357 A nice girl who has been learning to be a Trad wife since 12, Has never worn pants, certified virgin, will try for at least 6 kids, will marry under covenant (divorce only with fault).

[@Coffee4commonsense]

What does only having a high school diploma keep you from working? His wife can work in the evenings and weekends when he gets home from work or on his days off. A grocery store, a big box store like Walmart or McDonalds will be happy to hire her. She may not make a lot but her salary can pay for food, groceries and gas. Which means this guy would need to step up and watch their baby while she is working.

[@ryanj357]

This guy has no backbone. No way in hell would I have spent 35k on a wedding. This is what happens when you're a nice guy.

[@Hdhfhhdh]

Where’s his wife from ?

[@jimmymcgill6778]

He can get a job, when he comes home from work. That's if she have work papers.

[@fernnoli]

Wait, she has to work? Heck no. This is the stupid part of passport bros. They go overseas to find. A traditional wife, but then aren’t traditional husbands. Irresponsible, not leaders, and not providers. But he will go overseas, most likely lie to her family about how well off he is (hence buying $10,000 worth of gold- they most likely were impressed and that was his goal). She was 100% deceived by this guy. Is it okay for her to marry him for a green card? Of course because he wouldn’t marry her if she wasn’t naive, young, and desperate to get out of her country’s situation. Dude is a joke. Oh, and tries to get pity points for being broke because of “diapers”. Pathetic.

[@1984wasthebestyear]

I don’t think he’s a passport bro, he sounds like a first generation from whatever country they came from. First hint is his job with refugees/ migrants. It usually takes 3 generations for a family to fully assimilate into the American culture.

[@fernnoli]

@@1984wasthebestyearwhat are the second and third hints? The first hint is literally a job. He works in the finance department. How is that enough of a hint? If I work as a government contractor, is that a hint my dad is a general in the Army? It could be with a lot more hints. But not at all with just that one.

[@drjlrust]

That's harsh, fernnoli, but you're not completely wrong.

[@fernnoli]

@@thebeegood1731 where does he say she's from his home country???

[@GeorgiaMostly]

@@fernnoliif it is his home country, it IS a little odd he’d keep saying “overseas” instead of being more specific.

[@kw-vy5jd]

Why is no one talking about the guy had money before he got married? This is why sometimes we should leave your woman alone. And be single

[@barnabascollins4625]

You don’t have the income for your spose to be a stay at home mom

[@snackman2005]

Jade comes across more like an assistant lawyer asking questions than she does a radio personality giving financial advice haha.

[@guscunnilinx4431]

Not sure exactly whats going on here, but this is common with foreign cultures especially when foreign women marry someone from the US. They arent coming all the way over here to be broke. They came over here to live a life of luxury. Big house and expensive cars are just the beginning. I knew a guy that married someone from the Philippines, and he had to buy these luxury items and she wouldnt even sleep with him.

[@honieebean]

It's sweet that he followed the dowry tradition. However, the wife needs to realize north america is expensive and alot of people need both incomes to survive

[@Emptytopfloor]

He spent that much money on a HS graduate? He should have found a college graduate.