'It’s very lonely’: International student opens up about studying in NZ | nzherald.co.nz

'It's very lonely' - Loyd Doron's dream was to start his career in New Zealand but the journey so far has been far from a fairytale.
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[@D1ZAZTR]

Got here 3 years ago, finally going back home for a vacation. I feel for this guy as I know how hard it can be. Especially for some people who are not so comfortable meeting and making bonds with new people. I am a carpe diem sort of guy and I made friends quickly and enjoyed a-lot, but in-spite of being so social I know it can get really isolated and dark sometimes.

[@annatetiad.4991]

NZ is a very lonely place for immigrants - that's the part they don't tell you. I don't have family here...NZers have friends that they went to high school with - when you come from another country there is no welcome mat , it certainly is not easy - hang in there - you can do it.

[@edgymoon5298]

​@annatetiad.4991 this is infact true , since I am a immigrant , been living here for 4 years now and still have not made any friends yet ,I have ran out of options since I have tried every possible thing

[@elisatravailleur4804]

I experience the same when coming as a student here in nz, finally got to go back home fpr vacation after 4 years❤

[@albintrump6082]

​@@elisatravailleur4804how's the life bro?

[@AB-gb8lb]

I still think that we have diversity challenges here in New Zealand, outwardly, we are a friendly nation to the world, however, the real experience on the ground is very much like this young lad. He comes across as warm, bright, intelligent, caring, dignified and beautifully spoken, what more could you want in a friend? I think when Kiwis think people aren’t staying around for long they don’t want to invest in the friendship, but that’s not really justified. I have wonderful friends all over the world and just because I don’t see them doesn’t make them not part of my life. If you are reading this, know that plenty of people experience what you’re going through all over the world, it’s commonly called being homesick, it’s just made more challenging when you enter a new culture as opposed to moving to a different city in your own country. Keep strong and keep going , smooth sea doesn’t make a good sailor !

[@LoydDoron]

Thank you so much for this man. I really do appreciate this.

[@estherrogers5553]

I think for all immersion experiences it feels the same. I'm here in Bolivia, and it was extremely lonely until I finally got some grip on the language.

[@tiffanysytartist205]

Keep going dude ☺️ you're doing an awesome job

[@eyewishwalrus]

the same for all nz really, either you keep to yourself or you find some friends, it can be lonely here

[@eyewishwalrus]

@@iosefhotahi9162 lol what? You are joking right don't we have a high suicide rate here?

[@eyewishwalrus]

@@iosefhotahi9162 sarcasm is not dead, it's just very hard to pick up when there's no voice tone on text.

[@loryl6045]

Homesick it's real. Accept what you feel then go out and have activities with others. Meet new people. You will be fine. You will be stronger. Life is testing you my dear. Being successful is a very lonely road. We are being molded to a new version of ourselves. It's not easy. If its easy every body will do it. Only few surpass. I also have the same feeling when I went abroad. But knowing I have a family counting on me...that gives me strength to persevere ahead. God bless you and never ever give up due to temporary problems in life. This is life. Nobody is free from it.

[@pannu679]

I spent 5 years in NZ and in the end, I become suicidal and depressed. Left in 2018 and still recovering.

[@akramdinzly7777]

I wish you well always

[@pannu679]

@@akramdinzly7777 Thank you, Update:-now I am in Canada and so far so good here. Yes they have their own problems here too but its only been two months for me here rn. Who ever is read this plz never give up!! talk with ur family and friends and most importantly talk with yourself 'POSITIVELY".

[@yurekwranik-lohrenz3208]

Hi Pannu. Will you tell me a bit about what made you depressed while living in NZ?

[@uncletiggermclaren7592]

It is NOT racism though mate. I am a Kiwi, "traditional" tiny part Maori, mostly "white" kind of Kiwi, I have a good job, and all the rest, I have/am everything that YOU think keeps people from being friendly to you. And DO I have any friends? Have I made any even close acquaintances since I came back from overseas 20 years ago ? NOPE. Kiwis just don't DO the "making friends" thing after we leave high school.

[@Ricback2]

Only at work.

[@uncletiggermclaren7592]

@@Ricback2 Yeah, but how often do we invite them home. More to the point, how often does someone you INVITE, accept them turn up? ONCE last year, in the whole year, someone came to play cards.

[@moa-wg3bo]

@@uncletiggermclaren7592 I've found the only real way to make friends past high school is over a common interest, something you can discuss and do together. Join a club, maybe a 4wd club or a tramping club or whatever it may be. On the flip side if your not interested in those common kiwi hobbies then you are pretty much fucked. I think its probably because of the stigma around admitting you need a friend just for the sake of company.

[@uncletiggermclaren7592]

@@moa-wg3bo Man Alone was the ideal when I was young. "I don't need anything, I can make and repair anything, every Man owes the world a death and I will pay without flinching because I AM a Man". From the preset point of view, this is toxic. But if I ask one of my nephews to build something or fix something, they say "Why? I can buy something shoddy on Amazon and it will be delivered to the house". And by OUR standards 40 years ago, that is insanity and toxic.

[@rexx2578]

Yeah i feel the same , nz people are pretty polite but as friendly.

[@edgymoon5298]

It is very hard for immigrants like me who have only been living here for 4 years and I have tried every possible thing and im all out of options , making friends is impossible for people like me

[@rexx2578]

Making friends here is impossible

[@michellezuze5505]

I feel you bro❤

[@contemplatinggod2791]

This is real, and we are not talking about it enough. The West ia so lonely.

[@wandering_rose]

The whole world is lonely. Many kiwis living in their own country feel lonely. Every person studying abroad, every kid in boarding school, etc etc There is a huge Philipino population here in NZ, spend more time reaching out and less time on the phone to home or on the internet making depressing videos perhaps? Just a suggestion. 🙂

[@Tawadeb]

Yes lots of Philipinos here. Lots of nice ones.

[@augustinekopa6560]

Must be so hard. I pray 🙏 that you get support love 💕 around you

[@WhetuMotutere-n4w]

Your parent's worked hard to get you hea safty is important to your family and to our economy reputation

[@lexweru]

At the expense of his depression

[@SwOoPy287]

Clear your emotions mah bro and stay focused... call home to ease your mind..

[@LoydDoron]

Yes bro, thank you.

[@salamiond]

locals suffering a housing crisis and you complain about not having friends? seriously

[@rexx2578]

Lol

[@CrudupZopf-ns4dr]

Fleed your 3rd country for a better & expect us to embrace you what can you offer NZders in your country, Nothing

[@_IntoTheUnknown_25]

Go shut the front door.

[@chilledlaminton3142]

LOL, how do people even record themselves crying? So cringe.

[@Kinghihiv3]

I think thats a skilll issue...................Jokes guys im joking!!!!!!!! chill dont put me in the news or smt!!!!!1

[@Overthinktank]

this video have too many likes

[@sukanphutchaiyon9778]

You’re man not lady boy,You should be strong man!!

[@hailynewma9122]

so men can‘t have feelings or they should hide them? only really strong men stand by their feelings

[@yrslvy]

Pls dont promote toxic masculinity here, a man is just like any other human, has the right to express their negative feelings towards sth

[@shine2678]

Stop it.. he is not a robot