Samurai Cop (1991) - Rental Reviews

[@JamesNintendoNerd]

Download Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order here: pixly.go2cloud.org/SH1Qm Make sure to use my creator code! cinemassacre

[@recommendedforyou2936]

James rolfe please do a debation video on whether 28 days later is a zombie or not

[@recommendedforyou2936]

@@Element.Nullify you're right but some still say otherwise

[@ogarolo]

Hi James, have you heard of citizen toxie franchise??? I think they would be perfect to include in your show. Thanks for the good content in all these years.

[@Outlet_Maul]

The actress that played the blonde female cop was in Sorority House Massacre 2.

[@ExtremeMadnessX]

@@thegreatape884 But literally everything you own was made in China...

[@mellowgeekstudio]

What does Sushi mean? Samurai Cop: It means Japanese food.

[@q-bert6454]

What does Japan mean? Samurai cop: A place where Japanese people live.

[@ahabduennschitz7670]

😴😴😴

[@julianpradarodriguez7336]

I mean, it aint 100% wrong there, sushi does not have an exact traduction

[@pauladrian360]

What does Anime mean? Samurai Cop: It means Japanese Cartoon.

[@lalehiandeity1649]

@@pauladrian360 That’s actually true. Anime can be directly translated as cartoon.

[@zednotzee]

Samurai Cop looks like the lovechild of Sylvester Stallone and Steve Carrell

[@rog2224]

He reminded me a little of a novel true version of the Creature from Frankenstein: A New Prometheus.

[@maxtew6521]

Good call. I totally see that.

[@mr.a5803]

😂😂😭

[@user-eb9hy4yq6m]

Underrated comment

[@elorko28]

😂😂😂😂mixed with Jared Leto

[@imstupid880]

Fun fact: the actor for the samurai cop intentionally delivered his lines poorly to try and get the director to do a retake, but the director never did.

[@hardtymz2517]

so he tried on EVERY line?? what an idiot at that point.

[@xamislimelight8965]

Wait, really? That's actually kinda funny haha

[@mikekazz5353]

Me: What does Toyota mean in Japanese? Samurai cop: it means Japanese car, stupid.

[@sakariaskarlsson634]

トヨタ is toyota in japanese

[@sakariaskarlsson634]

Oh the name, toyota is a rewriting of the name toyoda, which was the family that started toyota

[@shrek3747]

lol

[@jordanjuarez8102]

Where I’m from Toyota means “we did it!”

[@randomdude2546]

But Katana really means just ''sword'' lol

[@digolaverdad7313]

The ultimate bad movie Some movies are so bad, they are good. Samurai Cop is so insanely bad...its the BEST.

[@jasonshiers5771]

Andres Rojas , you have not seen Deadly Prey.

[@DeathlessDevil]

I own several thousand bmovies, and still nothing has topped (bottomed?) Samurai Cop. It’s so dense with inspired heartfelt stupidity and charm.

[@Shapes_Quality_Control]

Someone needs a copy of Fateful Findings

[@khjr14]

Me: What does “Gundam” mean? Samurai Cop: It means “Japanese Robot,” stupid.

[@lordnerdyguy]

Samurai Cop: goes over fence Frank: goes under fence SC: “Why’d you go under?” Frank: “I’m an undercover cop.” BEST LINE IN THE MOVIE! (Edit: thanks for all the likes guys c: )

[@markabboud8564]

lordnerdyguy The fact this movie didn’t win an Oscar is a tragedy.

[@TheBritt2001]

Absolute genius.

[@mattb9664]

His partner is my favorite character in the movie.

[@randombarbarian5637]

Fun fact.. that line was completely adlibbed and the actor didn't even know it was going in the movie, he was just goofing off.

[@KTF0]

Samurai Cop should be forever studied in film classes.

[@Judgementxxx]

It's history

[@_PuppetMaster86]

How not to film a movie.

[@Judgementxxx]

@@_PuppetMaster86 Look at you thinking you can do better.

[@johnmalvent2189]

I mean it really should though. Learn more from failure than from success.

[@piotrsegal6475]

Actually yes, as it is a perfect opposite of great filmmaking.

[@lonewolfgamingplus379]

G-Fan: What does Gojira means ? Samurai Cop: It means Japanese Monster

[@LedPESRule]

I've heard it also means amazing french metal band

[@funkyweapon1981]

@@LedPESRule It's actually a nickname for one of the guys that worked on the set of Gojira.

[@billbobagggins99]

Not a true g fan

[@lonewolfgamingplus379]

Sean Ashmead No it’s the Japanese words for both Gorilla and Whale, which combining them both as it spells Gojira. That story is a myth.

[@_PuppetMaster86]

Random person: “What does kaiju mean?” Samurai Cop: “It means Japanese monster.”

[@ChelseaAllen420]

Should be called “almost a porno cop”

[@piotrsegal6475]

Porno is way too professional in filmmaking than this crap :)

[@banessuperbrutalmetalfunti2561]

I legitimately think this just a porno with all the sex scenes cut out.

[@OSW]

PROMISE NOTHING AND DELIVER LESS! Mind-blowing to see a Matt on Cinemassacre 🤯 A winner is you!

[@atariduckman]

Crossover: Cinemassacre & OSW Review 😁

[@XtTapelatakettle]

Ok yes! A collab between Cinemassacre and OSW would be awesome. They could review The Room together.

[@ryanjavierortega8513]

Red Letter Crossover?

[@BiffHorrific]

Love the effect of Kieran 'dodging' greedo's shot blast!! 🤣🤣

[@Odious_One]

The way they kept the bounding box in the "effect" was hilarious!

[@petergarcia1241]

I had to look for this again and now I know which episode it is 😅...I couldn't forget how funny Kieran looks when dodging 🤣.

[@thartwig]

that intro with the skew tool, amazing.

[@alexsilva28]

Agreed. That was hilarious

[@camarowland4]

The best

[@jaakkopontinen]

Yes!

[@sonnieandjacob]

I was hoping they would do something with it and leaving in the skew box made it even funnier

[@Igor.J.Delgado]

It was awesome 😂😂😂

[@thejunkmanlives]

"get some friends together". matt if it was only that easy.

[@chrishern8645]

I'm laughing on the outside but fucking crying on the inside.

[@ryanotte6737]

Well, laughter brings people together... so get some people who could potentially be friends and riff/laugh at the movie.

[@thejunkmanlives]

@@ryanotte6737 my comment is a reference to his crew breaking up. look up super best friends.

[@ryanotte6737]

@@thejunkmanlives Ah yes, they were an entertaining crew.

[@SoldierMan1557]

Samurai cop is a masterpiece Screw the critics saying it's trash It's a masterpiece period

[@hardtymz2517]

no, its trash.

[@favoritemustard3542]

@@hardtymz2517 masterpiece o'shit lol

[@RustyMuck]

This review is like a TUMS FESTIVAL

[@xGOOFYJELLYFISH]

Nathan Obral I clapped because I know what that is!!!

[@CinemaRescored]

BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT MOVIE

[@alexsilva28]

It broke new grooooound

[@robertbick986]

@@xGOOFYJELLYFISH I CLAPPED! I CLAPPED WHEN I SAW IT!

[@TheCaucusFlow]

THINGS I KNOW ARE IN IT

[@kurtfranklin2680]

What does samurai mean? It means guy holding a sword.

[@derekescalante1355]

Lol

[@bboyhanvzla]

"Usually in real life most of the sex happens at night" In my life, it never happens.

[@freaknr1]

Rich Evans has gotten laid. You can too.

[@trainerredcharizard7982]

Same with me..

[@johnmalvent2189]

I love my left hand so much. She knows all my weaknesses.

[@JS-vm9ws]

:(

[@SnEaKeRSkEr]

You're using a PC or smartphone to type that comment yet you can't get laid? Dude you literally can get laid like getting an Uber or ordering grub hub. Order, pay, poke, don't be rude leave a tip.😉

[@Kiskey]

Is James Rolfe Replacing Rich Evans?

[@oldheadprisonofficer7024]

Damn I miss Matt and Pat together. I hope they can at least rekindle their friendship someday

[@Hi_Just_Fred]

At this point they've moved on to their own stuff. Don't think there's much hate between them, it's just a rift that's not gonna be fixed.

[@cerealkilla187]

@@Hi_Just_Fred what happened??

[@MukuonChannel]

@@cerealkilla187 go watch SBFP: Part Final. The 3 explained pretty well what happened.

[@cerealkilla187]

@@MukuonChannel I'm not sure what that is :(

[@MukuonChannel]

@@cerealkilla187 "Super Best Friends Play: Part FINAL" Go.

[@andrewsmith5605]

James looks really afraid when the guest says "you know when the sex happens" like he was really traumatised by those scenes in the movie

[@kurtfranklin2680]

Love the add with Kieran playing the lovechild of Han and chewy. There’s a character for the rise of skywalker.

[@paperscaper8638]

Can we just appreciate Kieran's acting here. 😂 Running your finger along the wall and everything, perfect.

[@markabboud8564]

This is one of the best Rental Review episodes. James had me laughing so hard my coffee came out of my nose. I’m so glad you guys did this movie.

[@grizzlywhisker]

Matt McMuscles is one of the best guests on here in my opinion. Glad you guys are still doing crossovers.

[@Chris_Brah]

James or Matt speaks Tony: Let me finish that sentence for you

[@LungMing23]

You beat me to it.....it ruined this video and I was super excited for Matt to be on the show but Tony kept cutting him and James off. Tony seems really cool but in a show like this you need to let people actually finish a sentence.

[@keeganhymer8467]

Most videos he’s in.

[@UNDERGROUNDskateco]

I didn't notice it at all.. He has good insight and is extremely knowledgeable. To each their own.

[@P33b4Ugo5omwh3r3]

@@UNDERGROUNDskateco Knowledgeable? ... A person who praises Jurassic Park 3 and bashes the originals shouldn't talk about movies, period.

[@Chris_Brah]

@@rugxulo All but social skills

[@mikekazz5353]

I hope they bring back Matt for when they review face off or Ransom.

[@EdgeO419]

so Matt can once again not shut the F up about Face/OFF

[@Jargas101]

Matt is nothing without Pat

[@drummerknot131]

@@Jargas101 I mean, Matt has had the most success since the break up.

[@EdgeO419]

@@Jargas101 Ahh he seems to be doing just fine without him they both do.

[@Judgementxxx]

Stop talking about Face/off. 2020 the year of Face/Off....again.

[@Starfals]

Hhaha the star wars part in the beginning was so epic. He even got "digitally" moved back to dodge the laser ;p

[@afrorhcp]

Close. But go watch the RLM version. Even the interview with Matt Hannon himself :)

[@vhsqueen]

Cant beat the RLM version. Everytime they have questions or guesses i feel if only they jus5 watched the interview they'd know more.

[@geovani60624]

James usually just watch the movie and know some curiosities, the rlm guys really go in depth on their research, they know everything about the movie

[@Lufisyth]

Close? Not even a little bit.

[@davidd.6448]

To be honest, this entire show feels like a cheap half in the bag/best of the worst knockoff

[@jimmymack78]

No Friday is complete without Rental Reviews on Cinnamassacre. Thanks for having outstanding content. The video earlier this week about the awesome video store was so cool.

[@pezboy350]

INT KITCHEN Tony arrives at his girlfriend's home, setting an armful of groceries on the counter. Girlfriend: Zoe Monroe? Tony: Don't worry baby, you're my number one girl.

[@thewizardninja]

"So head on over to the Epic Games Store..." No thanks, I'm good.

[@TheZombieCurryKid]

Steam shill?

[@PredatoryQQmber]

@@TheZombieCurryKid GOG for life, bitch !!!

[@onewingedmoogle]

This is my favorite "so-bad-it's-good" movie. Because for all its faults, it's never dull. It moves along at a fast pace and every scene has something to hold your attention.

[@momchilandonov]

But what about The Room? :(

[@iam16bits]

OK now we need a Cinemassacre/RLM crossover.

[@kitasitatata]

@@stinkfinga4918 Why not?

[@HsienKoMeiLingFormerYANG]

Two Friends Play Star James & Matt crossover since SSB & Jump Force.

[@vistea1]

"I WANT HIS HEAD ON THIS PIANO!!"

[@ytndndrummer]

I WILL BRING YOU HIS HEAD AND I WILL PLACE IT ON YOUR PIANO!

[@KultAnarchist]

ytndndrummer You are the real samurai!

[@Uzur9]

The most disappointing thing since my son

[@alexsilva28]

Dad?

[@WeldonSirloin]

Hi dad!

[@jakemaxgross]

But unlike my son who hung himself in truck stop the prequels will be here with us forever....

[@zackschilling4376]

GET OUTTA MY CREEPY BASEMENT!

[@herpderp7264]

Stop sneaking into my room at night Dad.

[@ChristopherM1701]

The Rifftrax Live version is the only way to watch this movie. It's truly hilarious

[@ericjenkins2737]

Quite possibly my most favorite “good” bad movie.

[@MrWalksindarkness]

So funny that tony is wearing another channel's merch, sponsors seriously have to love you guys, the ad/sketch at the beginning of the vid was as entertaining as the review

[@Boojakascha]

This episode is a terrible "Extended Edition". In the original Kieran shot first!

[@NozomuYume]

I hear James is going back and adding bad CGI monsters to all the AVGN eps. =(

[@cgraham6]

This movie is an absolute staple of Rifftrax. I've lost count of how many times I've seen that version.

[@Ram-2112]

The only way to enjoy this movie

[@andrewre3146]

The Killian slant shoot was a master edit.

[@MysteriousStrangerVA]

I knew you’d parody that re-re-re-re-reedit of the Greedo scene.

[@MLBlue30]

Their edit is better looking than the one in the movie! No weird neck movement.

[@MysteriousStrangerVA]

MLBlue30 What REALLY impressed me was that they got the Rodian language down pat. I like to think of myself as a hardcore nerd, but apparently I’m nowhere close to it like they are lol.

[@RaDicAL808]

Maklunki!

[@DarthVraak]

@@RaDicAL808 MrSundayMovies ruined you aswell, I see

[@alwaysxnever]

Kieran is the best! Solid scenes acted exactly as intended.

[@AndyGaskin]

Just wanted to celebrate using the skew tool during the Greedo shootout at the start of the video. Nicely done!

[@KizaruB]

This is the best movie ever. Anybody who disagrees is a blasphemer.

[@skylx0812]

"Best Movie Ever" is such an elastic label. Like a condom it can be blown way out of proportion till just looks damn funny.

[@booty2k]

@@J.G.Wentworth69420 Lord and Savior, heavenly father, supreme Breen, Neil JC Breen.

[@MrSanityassassin82]

I think Hollywood Cop is much better

[@johnmalvent2189]

Heresy! All over this thread. Crush it from orbit. Am I an inquisitor yet?

[@hardtymz2517]

Borsalino got into his mom's Xtasy stash last night. Ambien and Mollies for everyone! 2 cups!

[@discoRyne]

Alright, those Kieran breaks were absolutely amazing. Lotta laughs and fun in this episode, thanks for starting my weekend off right :D

[@DrDizzleFrizzle]

God, this is seriously one of my favorite b-movies. Any movie with Robert Z'Dar is a classic.

[@golfgambino]

Miss this so much! Rental reviews was the best!

[@bluepiggaming204]

James should open a movie rental store whenever he retires.

[@markofcaine]

Why he hasnt seen over half the movies they review it would just be for show

[@yukisohma19]

linking to the epic store, bold move guys but not gonna happen

[@91PKPower]

I really want James to join RLM in a Best of the Worst episode.

[@devilmikey00]

I don't think James is nearly cynical enough for that crew.

[@sir0nion]

@@devilmikey00 neither is Len Kabasinski, but he worked out well on the episodes he was on.

[@kylehough7336]

Honestly, I don't think they can hang critically. Unless RLM is down for just retelling a movie instead of actually reviewing it.

[@MrRichiarditya]

James schedule is very busy tbh

[@WickerMahn]

I'd like to see him on Re:view myself.

[@Crashtian]

“Samurai Cop” should’ve been the name of an early Neo Geo game.

[@Nikolaos-Koemtzis]

Now we need Neil Been trilogy and "The room"!

[@ALL_that_ENDS]

Holy moly, Matt mcmuscles on cinemasssacre? My literal 2 favorite channels together

[@theylied1776]

Because of you guys I went back and re-watch monster squad. That is a pretty good movie in the same vein as Hocus Pocus, in my opinion. When I worked at a video store the only cover for Samurai Cop that I we had was the 1992 cover. Two of the guys I work with they loved it and told me I needed to watch it. The only reason why I never wash it was because of that cover.

[@booty2k]

They think Super Mario bros is an actual good movie...that says it all about their credibility critiquing movies. They know nothing about anything and talk nonsensically about stuff from back on their planet.

[@theylied1776]

@@booty2k No, they think it's so bad that it's good. There's a big difference between the two.

[@mews5356]

@@booty2k No, they don't. They clearly understand that it's a mess of a movie, although with a lot of interesting ideas and some pretty dope sets and practical effects.

[@Vegeton]

"1989" "1992" "Samurai Cop (1991)" 🤔

[@Squattheplanet]

I'm so glad to see everyone back in the basement rental store!

[@WhispyWoods.]

MATTY MCMUSCLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I F’ing love that guy.

[@TheMetalMenace]

What!? Matt McMuscles on Cinemassacre? Is this the best video on the internet, or did I just piss myself for fun?

[@a.rheser8181]

LOKUM it’s Great isn’t it? He’s actually been on James and Mike Mondays before, playing Batman Forever the arcade game on the Sega Saturn, I think? Love these crossovers!

[@crashman4759]

Both?

[@kurtshastany1945]

Your body your choice

[@WegnerTheDeftones]

I had to watch Rifftrax take on Samurai Cop. INCREDIBLE!

[@SailorGreen]

Haha, the edit pocking fun at the Star Wars edit where they digitally moved the head of Han during the shooting scene XD

[@Vulnresati]

I understood your profile pic and name reference

[@HeShoeTooBig]

being held up at gun point by an alien is the only way you can get most people to buy games on epic. pretty accurate

[@thespanishinquisiton9589]

Mfw.

[@thespanishinquisiton9589]

Ngl, I'd rather have the alien blow my brains out than buy any game from the epic store.

[@johnmalvent2189]

Dudes, unreal engine. You're still giving them money anytime you buy a game developed in unreal or using other epic developed tool sets.

[@dragonfire7354]

@@johnmalvent2189 Pretty sure with Game Engines it's a flat fee for use. So the damage is already done when a game is made in unreal. Sure, one could make the argument that buying a game in unreal pushes more people to use unreal, but that's on a grander scale then the individual.

[@sneakysnake7695]

@@criticalmoment3859 why are you watching this "crap" then?

[@vboost]

Love that you left the plane outline in for the Han/greedo shot. GOLD.

[@28Pluto]

Easily one of the greatest "Bad" movies. Too bad the sequel is pretty cringey and horrible.

[@WeCareAlot4693]

Pluto28 Because instead of trying to make a cool movie, they made a tongue in cheek "self-aware" intentionally bad comedy when thats not what the original was trying to be at all.

[@duckwantbreads]

It did show that non-Samurai Cop cop had improved his acting immensely though, it's a shame he didn't get any other roles aside from that

[@tristanmarshall2224]

The Kieran shots have much better compositions than the shots they’re making fun of in the movie, and these guys are trying to make those shots intentionally jarring 😂

[@kimbercustompro1911]

Matt McMustles Holy shit sir, Dude is blowing up lately. Glad to see it

[@twizz420]

What kind of film buff doesn't know who Robert Z'Dar is?

[@Judgement_Kazzy]

What does katana mean? "It means Japanese sword" What does Odachi mean? "It means Japanese sword" What does Tachi mean? "It means Japanese sword" What does Nagamaki mean? "It means Japanese sword"

[@Altar360]

I love how James is usually pretty chill about crappy movies, he finds things to enjoy, but here he’s just like “This movie fucking sucks. This is awful.” So funny to see him like that.

[@GarrusN7]

That opening bit with Greedo almost killed me. That obvious edit was so damn funny.

[@Chronologo]

Kieran doing the restaurant scene monologue just made my day

[@chriswilson3126]

This is awesome that you got matt in for this review. Instant like.

[@GreenEyedDazzler]

This was one of the best reviews the editing made this

[@DrunkenCoward1]

This looks like it could be a tums festival!

[@midwestmonster9886]

"What does Samurai Cop mean?" "It means Cinematic Excellence."

[@IronWolf277]

I listened to an old "We Hate Movies" podcast about this film yesterday, and now its on Rental Reviews today. Coincidence or fate?

[@animaldays2]

CarlitosWay277 coincedental fate or fateful coincidence?

[@jaredslater9488]

made my day to see matt here. two big parts of my childhood and late childhood coming together to make a video.

[@PhantomLink16]

3:21 Sargon, is that you?

[@dallashousecomedy8955]

Is the guy in the Punisher hat Matt from Super Best Friends ?

[@piercebren6557]

Cinemassacre so reminds me of the Seinfeld cast, thank you for that

[@jannisschaefer5776]

The way Kieran dodged that laser blast though.

[@acloserlook5823]

Lol the rifftrax of this was EPIC.

[@tonyl6520]

Kierens rant at the end was incredibly funny. Awesome stuff guys 10/10

[@segaki]

"Katana" really does just mean sword though. Nowadays, we use katana to mean that specific type of Japanese sword. But in Japan that was just a regular old sword.

[@Hi_Just_Fred]

So when someone says Katana Sword they're just saying Sword Sword. 😆 (Actually Katana means Big Sword so it'd be Big Sword Sword)

[@randomdude2546]

@@Hi_Just_Fred yes

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

@@Hi_Just_Fred So what does Nodachi mean then? Hahah!

[@sanny8716]

Katana means a single edged sword specifically A regular old sword is "ken"

[@Hi_Just_Fred]

@@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785 well, according to google, it means field. :p

[@HarrisonPudding]

Holy Guacamole! That was amazing guys. Love the geeking out over movie tech stuff even if I don't understand it. Special shout out to Kieran's tour de force soliloquy at the end.

[@DanPantzig]

Now do Hard Ticket To Hawaii, the movie that only exists as a front for a cocaine operation.

[@bobbycutts2111]

Just had to comment and say that speech from the movie with Kieran was one of the greatest things you guys have done

[@ultrixsoma2736]

Sorry, but i won't use Epic Games.

[@TheZombieCurryKid]

Steam shill?

[@TheLeggedOne]

Nice to you finally cover this gem of a film

[@SmokingSpoon]

1:25 Okay whose idea was that? I laughed out loud.. damn it felt good.

[@qualityqueen1553]

That hospital scene deserves a Oscar award.

[@kylehough7336]

The poor man's RLM.

[@DoctorSquires]

Ha

[@DiscordedHaru]

My favorite KZbinrs mixing?? All I need now is a Matt McMuscles and Somecallmejohnny crossover and my life is complete!

[@fununclenerfs]

I honestly thought that the AVGN Movie was a love letter to this movie...

[@Griffin1171-love-you-all]

I can hear the OSW Review whenever Matt talks about Samurai Cop.

[@Thievius333]

I've only seen this film the way it was meant to be seen - on Rifftrax.

[@mr.brooks6106]

Samurai Cop is a masterpiece for all the wrong reasons. I love it. Trying to explain it to someone is hysterical in its own right.

[@collinchandler2861]

They get a cop named joe Me: joe mama Joe marshal Me : oh come on