I was raised in a tiger family and that messed me up huge. Funny how many Asian immigrant parents get their kids to engage in sports and music. Mine was swimming and violin. My gripe is how many parents are so disengaged with their kids. My parents have no desire to know what I like, my interests, or even my opinions. It’s either I’m a doctor, lawyer, or a failure. I’m still battling demons to this day in my mid-life years. I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD a few years ago and thank God that I have access to therapy. I fudged my way through school and at one point was deemed “illiterate”. I was caged up and my grades started turning around but the lies and deception from both myself and my parents, and the constant fear of being rejected took a toll on me and one night I did snap and murder was in my heart. The raw rage is scary. I’m still trying to forgive my parents. It’s hard for someone to understand the pain of being rejected. Here’s one point I’d like to add to your video (nice video btw): The parents failed because they couldn’t accept failure. Jennifer failed because she couldn’t accept being seen as a failure. Daniel didn’t want to be seen as a failure in Jennifer’s eyes. So, how we view failure is probably going to be an important factor in determining one’s psychological stability (in my layman understanding of psychology). Anyways, my 2 cents. Thanks for the vid.
@jeangentry66564 жыл бұрын
Agreed.
@yoleeisbored3 жыл бұрын
my parents didnt give a crap about sports. im korean and they forced and hit me to play piano. lol it sucks
@DavidSmith-ee6df3 жыл бұрын
Nice response. Take care buddy.
@taiztamele3 жыл бұрын
I hope you're doing better now. I'm so sorry that you were/are going through all that.
@pepperachu3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your honesty and insight. Underrated comment
@ciaranglobel7844 жыл бұрын
I've started replying: "I'm not diagnosing anybody, only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this" any time someone asks me how my day's going, think I need to lay off your channel for a while...
@longwhitemane4 жыл бұрын
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
@stacysaurusrex4 жыл бұрын
Omg lol 😅
@lafemmerouge42714 жыл бұрын
I find myself using the acronym OCEAN to introduce every interaction with colleagues.
@emilyflotilla9314 жыл бұрын
I feel your pain.
@wedolearning41334 жыл бұрын
I go through my days now just listing off people's openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. It's like automatic now.
@drtsu78364 жыл бұрын
I usually remember the big five traits by remembering Dr Grande remembering the big five traits through the acronym OCEAN.
@b.mcleod48724 жыл бұрын
🤣
@Ariel-ck9he4 жыл бұрын
Best comment ever
@monkeynumbernine4 жыл бұрын
Yes, me too!🤩
@emilyflotilla9314 жыл бұрын
I'm not diagnosing....
@9000Dogs4 жыл бұрын
I forgot to remember to forget.
@RsRj-qd2cg4 жыл бұрын
I went to school with a lot of Asian kids. A lot of the ones with tiger parents burned out in grad school or PhD. The ones who had chill parents and were allowed to fail became business owners. Tiger parenting instills fear of failure, and that is a recipe for failure or underperformance.
@yoleeisbored2 жыл бұрын
But this isn't healthy parenting if you are raising a kid in a different country... the kid is going to grow up isolated, socially awkward, and lonely, surrounded by other kids who are not asian and are not tiger parented. Asian Kids might get bullied especially now with covid and immigrant parents don't understand what their kids go through
@LittleImpaler2 жыл бұрын
It's also abuse.
@LittleImpaler2 жыл бұрын
@@yoleeisbored This type of parenting doesn't even work in Asia. A lot people commit suicide because they can't live by society high standards.
@bauglir2462 Жыл бұрын
Them tiger jerkoffs need to be put to the bloody sword!!
@literry27463 ай бұрын
Screw the Asian Tiger parents BS. Man. That's some BS racist crap. I have Asian parents. And also I had one of the worst violents childhood known to Men. I never thought of killing anyone... Hello she fuc ing killed someone.... Helloooo.... Ok. My best friend his parents are both Irish junkies, heroin Addict to be specific. I bet he wished he has Asian Tiger parents... Right???
@setaside24 жыл бұрын
I've known kids with parents like this. A household with lifelong stressors wherein the child is forbidden to have any life of their own outside of forced academic and sports achievement is truly a hollow thing. The damage these kids sustain underneath such regimes (we have to call it a regime) can and certainly do contribute to damaging others down the road. There is no doubt in my mind that Jennifer lost a piece of herself when she was no longer able to compete in figure skating, something she did indeed excel at. When one is raised in a house with a near total lack of empathy, it should be of little surprise that one grows up emulating such things. It is unfortunate that she ended up anchoring her feelings of freedom with her feelings for someone of unfortunate character traits such as Daniel. Her life was already out of control by the time they met and the only point she likely felt anywhere near grounded was when she was directing their relationship. Lying in near total fashion as she did has a way of eroding one's humanity. Watching her interviews with the police show a husk of what was once Jennifer, now a monster with no purpose other than to survive. Nurture is a thing, folks. This is what free agency can look like when it has no idea what nurture is. Tragedy and horror.
@renattamascetti4 жыл бұрын
I totally agree.
@Design____ByS4 жыл бұрын
I'm actually sorry for her. I think she deserves a second chance sooner than 2035...
@orange_leaf49134 жыл бұрын
like they say she is naive like uh yeah her parents dont let her hv any experience other than "forced academic and sports achievement" what do u expect...
@pollypockets5084 жыл бұрын
Wise words
@cmath64544 жыл бұрын
Feel sorry for her also. Her parents failed her a long time ago. Looking at her picture, her eyes look unnervingly hopeless and almost dead.
@pamprotheroe22344 жыл бұрын
An analysis of 'tiger parents' like this would be interesting and useful.
@mcd54784 жыл бұрын
Pam Protheroe Yes! That would be interesting.
@nikkid48904 жыл бұрын
Yes please!!!
@DerDoenerInMir4 жыл бұрын
Pure narcissism probably
@nighttrain12364 жыл бұрын
We often heap praise on 'Asians' for their high-achieving offspring but everything has a price even if this is obviously an extreme example.
@20karisan4 жыл бұрын
I do not think this explains anything. There is a large percentage of tiger parents and only 1 case related to a double homicide.
@lolam.92914 жыл бұрын
I had a similar upbringing, and my only hope was to finish my schooling in order to get away from my parent’s wrath. I worked hard and put myself through college with the most minimal assistance from my parents and then eventually severed ties. To make the story short, I became estranged from my parents for 20+ years, and what brought us together again was a message from one of my siblings who had informed me that my father’s health was declining; come to find out, he had cancer. I decided to make peace with my parents in order for my father to pass without guilt feelings... Life should not be like this. And, through the years of estrangement, I had made peace with myself in the fact that my parents raised me the only way they knew how.
@nmartin55512 жыл бұрын
I applaud your decisions you made in life. I’m not sure I could have done the same. Somehow you developed an internal self that functioned well for you. You are the better person for sure.
@whitedragoness23 Жыл бұрын
I’m glad you were able to turn your life around. Most kids grow up messed up and ruin their lives like Jennifer
@CC-mr5xq4 жыл бұрын
Detective who interrogated Jennifer Pan: "All they wanted was so much success out of you that they weren't even looking at you as a person." Asian Parenting 101.
@arock74623 жыл бұрын
I see someone watching TwoSetViolin
@fluffyclouds5553 жыл бұрын
I thought the detective did a great job of empathizing in order to build rapport with her. It was interestingly genuine. He understood the inner workings of her mind.
@TheJlee286 ай бұрын
It’s not Asian parents. My parents do the reverse 😂😂😂😂
@iammar11595 ай бұрын
@@TheJlee28 Your parents are the exception, NOT the rule.
@TheJlee285 ай бұрын
@@iammar1159 reverse of putting me down, expert of child abuse 😝😝😝😝
@marilynsgirl014 жыл бұрын
This case was sad. I was trapped in a horrible home as a child and I had desperate thoughts. My parents completely destroyed my sister and now don’t even know where she lives. It’s not black and white.
@VocalVocaloid3 жыл бұрын
seriously. I totally feel you on that.
@f.miller801 Жыл бұрын
Exactly. No crime can be seen as black and white. That's just childish.
@judithwerner5301 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree. I was raised by an abusive mother and although I wouldn't commit murder, I was very glad to leave home and not look back.
@marilynsgirl01 Жыл бұрын
@@judithwerner5301 When I left I went through a period of living in an unplumbed and uninsulated garage. There was no heat. It was thirty below. My hair care stuff would freeze in the bottle. But it was still better than going back there.
@marilynsgirl012 ай бұрын
@@user-mq1fg5yw5r You aren’t wrong. It just hit me hard because I could have imagined my sister doing something like that. But she did leave. She didn’t kill anyone
@CissyBrazil4 жыл бұрын
“His favorite color is orange, so that worked out for him” 😂😂
@CC-mr5xq4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande is so funny in such an understated way. Love his sense of humor.
@jwinnfield91923 жыл бұрын
Low key deadpan burn city
@Kneekneee3 жыл бұрын
Lol the dry humor was hilarious
@BlueMonkeySky3 жыл бұрын
His dark humor is the best!
@fifimsp3 жыл бұрын
Brilliant. I almost rolled off my couch laughing.
@TheAllianceEnt4 жыл бұрын
"I don't see how communities can trust law enforcement, if they're not obligated to be honest" Neither do I Dr Grande, neither do I.
@nomedigas79464 жыл бұрын
Nailed it.
@bluepvp9004 жыл бұрын
It's a rhetorical question, with answer understood to be that they cannot. Statistically speaking (I trust statistics), there are far too many people in prison who are innocent. That the police approach their work with the goal of arresting and convicting a person rather than an approach of convicting only actual guilty people leads to this kind of problem. Jury's are not well qualified enough to determine reasonable doubt or to overcome their own bias. I would love to live in a place that convicted 99.5% guilty people. That would be only 5 out of 1000 inmates innocent. The funny thing is that in a perfect situation 99.5% is unacceptable, it's attractive only because we sit closer to 50% than 99.9%.
@Hannah-zw9ow4 жыл бұрын
Suspicious Ned you are really, REALLY lost.
@aarn7004 жыл бұрын
Everything in this comment is perfect OP thank you
@nodiggity42834 жыл бұрын
Police are trying to get confessions. Literally no one thinks cops getting confessions is too high a cost
@tonyabrookes99314 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry, there's no way that her parents get a free pass here. Children will forgive the most horrible treatment from a caregiver - even wishing to remain with an abusive parent when removed from their custody. They emotionally neglected her to the point that she had zero emotional attachment to them. Controlling some one to the level that her parents controlled her is dehumanizing. I can't relate to her choices but I also can't help but wonder how different all of their lives would have turned out if her parents had treated her more like a person and less like an "achievement". Connection and validation means EVERYTHING to children
@FutureFendiFsnista4 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same thing. I empathize with Jennifer to an extent. She is 100% responsible for the actions she took against her parents. However her parents are definitely to blame. The trauma of having a abusive/helicopter parent can lead people into doing things that you wouldn't think they are capable of. She surrounded herself with bad people which didn't help. It's sad that she didn't just leave to commit her own achievements instead she conspired to killing her parents.
@LinhHueTran4 жыл бұрын
I absolutely agree!!!! I have compared and contrasted all accounts. I live here in Toronto and my dad works where her dad worked!!! I’m scared of this story because it’s freaky to me how similar our lives are/were. Coming from the same Vietnamese background and born here in Toronto. Jen and I may have crossed paths even!! But she’s significantly older than I am and I am NOT a killer. I can’t relate to her actions that she must take responsibility for as well but I can’t help but feel for her too. It broke my heart when she pleaded “I thought you were on my side” and the investigator replied with “I am on your side” which was another outright lie. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my parents but they’re not perfect beings themselves. Which ultimately has hindered my full life potential whether financially or otherwise. Gratefully I have managed well our imperfect family and see prospects for better; with or without the help of my parents.
@shaaronie4 жыл бұрын
@@LinhHueTran I find her story so fascinating. It's obvious that she grew to hate her parent's authority so much that she started to hate them! I've always wondered how her brother felt about their parents? It looks like he met their expectations. The parents seem like they had something to prove and wanted a trophy life at all cost, or at least the father, Han did. I've watched the 10 hour interrogation, twice! I hope your parents are not so extreme!
@dreammachine50144 жыл бұрын
I can see why you're sorry.
@camimons4704 жыл бұрын
All true. But I doubt Jen’s parents had the slightest clue about their daughter’s emotional needs. Tragically, they probably thought they were very good parents.
@bad_egg0004 жыл бұрын
Dr Grande, her parents are narcissistic too, I think. They raised her as a trophy, their extension and not a child. A very dysfunctional family. It is a tragedy more than the romance.
@keithmichael1124 жыл бұрын
Maybe, but there's a huge cultural component. I'd want to know more
@bad_egg0004 жыл бұрын
@@keithmichael112 I'm not sure about the Vietnamese culture but it can be. I'm just looking in their behavior and circumstances stated.
@keithmichael1124 жыл бұрын
@@bad_egg000 all I've ever heard is that they were is that they were demanding, "tiger parents". Without any further info, it seems premature to dump a ton of blame on them? Not you in particular
@bad_egg0004 жыл бұрын
@@keithmichael112 They created a monster. If it's cultural, then many Vietnamese children could have done that. Plus the influence of her bf and peers. So many factors to consider.
@catastrophictabitha93514 жыл бұрын
@@bad_egg000 Good point. If her parents were narcissists, then there's probably a ton of abuse to Jennifer that we don't know about
@xoof894 жыл бұрын
I can relate having strict traditional family backgraound. Trying to live up to their expectations but never succeed. Living in someone else's dream but was more like a nightmare. Instead of giving moral support or encouragement they just talk down on us. Make me learn a skill which I never liked or was even good at. And there were time parents will compare me or siblings to other children success and they will ask "why can't you be more like him or her?" It felt like a competition with other kids too especially if it's your own family member. Parents would go back and forth bragging about who kid is better. Painfully it hurt me a lot. They weren't just strict on my academic but my lifestyle too. Such as who to be friends with, how to dress, speak, walk, sit, eat, sleep, laugh, laugh, smile, read, look, do your hair, who to date and etc. If I didn't follow them I would get beating. Somewhat like her, I would lie where I'm going or be just to have some moment with myself or friends. I occasionally try to be honest with them about where I be or do but it will either be dissaprove or anger them. Because of their strict upbringing it drove me to depression, rebelling, tiredness, bitterness, stress and suicide thought. But never to the point I wanted my parents gone. Have I have met their expectations? No. I'm just an ordinary 31 year old single adult working in normal decent job, with benefits,making sure to pay the Bill's on time and getting thru day by day. What kept me going? My nieces and nephews. I continue on with life for them because I love them too much. I don't want to be out of their life. Have I confronted them about it? I have few time. Sometime they will understand but mostly they will brush it off still expecting something. I do care about my parents and I appreciate everything they done. But whatever I do will never be enough even til this day. All I can do continue living and see what the future has in store for me. I do feel sorry for Jennifer Pan. If only her parents were more comforting and not strict her life could of been a little better. I'm not saying I'm lucky I didn't turn out like her, but I'm saying I can relate to the upbringing.
@mariejames36704 жыл бұрын
You express your feelings very well and have a clear insight about your upbringing..That can help in empowering iyourself and others to stay strong and go forward because you are aware now. Be blessed.
@blueclover9918 Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry they put you through that and that it affected you so. With myself, I had parents who were extremely - even criminally, neglectful and I feel like a failure because I had a lot of potential which I couldn't live up to because I didn't have the resources to, being just a kid. So my feelings of failure are self-generated. That being said, I can't imagine having those feelings put upon my by my parents, that is totally unnecessary to burden you with that. I have to remind myself that life isn't all about the superficial "success", it's about being a decent person in whatever station one is in, and as long as I am, I have a lot to be proud of.
@heir.of.regulus69244 жыл бұрын
Incredibly strict parents in my experience almost always lead to incredibly deceptive children.
@penniewyatt93913 жыл бұрын
Not only do over controlling parent create deceptive children, i feel like it also creates suicidal ideation.
@TehKaiser3 жыл бұрын
Nope, it's simply a cultural thing with Vietnamese.
@rockyevans15843 жыл бұрын
@@TehKaiser just because it's part of Vietnamese culture doesn't mean it can't be true of other strict parents. Edit out that nope, you look a fool
@TehKaiser3 жыл бұрын
@@rockyevans1584 It’s a matter of prudence to presume deception from Vietnamese. They pretty have to learn the tricks of business because resources are scare. I’m not here for some zoo-level book appreciation of cultures. Cultures come with tendencies, some unsavory.
@rockyevans15843 жыл бұрын
@@TehKaiser you have zoo level spelling, if your communication is so bad how can we trust your logic? Back to my point, the Vietnamese may have stricter parenting as part of their culture, that doesn't have a thing to do with other strict parents also producing very deceptive children. You just sound hateful, and possibly a bit racist. It's in line with how stupid you seem, I guess
@PomsNTomsMom924 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande has that voice 🙌. Doesn't matter what the subject matter is, I have you talking in the background. 😁🤟
@sodaguzler4 жыл бұрын
Same! He ends up distracting me from what i’m doing and i end up watching him 😂
@MsMdip4 жыл бұрын
The man could read terms and conditions and I'd still enjoy it
@susanhurd95974 жыл бұрын
Me also .. I have him on when I’m doing my work and notes ., so interesting and calming at the same time!
@ThaTruFily4 жыл бұрын
Yes! But I love to get immersed. He's a great storyteller plus super professional 🤟🏻
@carolboehler57534 жыл бұрын
Ll0
@longwhitemane4 жыл бұрын
I can "ID" with Pan to an extent. My parents were Tiger/Helicopter parents. I was allowed very little freedom outside of going to school. If I got "C" s or worse, which was often, my dad paddled me hard enough to bruise my backside and both parents used the silent treatment for weeks. As a result I was taught enough real fear and anxiety to make me vomit on the way home from school on report card day, to bite my nails to the quick, and to live in a dream world inside my head to self-comfort. It NEVER entered my mind to hurt or kill my parents in any way. Did I dream of running away? Sure. But never to hurt them. BTW, I think most homicide cops are lazy & will do anything legal and illegal to solicit a confession. The suspect could be perfectly innocent, but getting the case off the books is all that matters.
@Ariel-ck9he4 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry that was your experience growing up. =\
@windarisantidewi71834 жыл бұрын
Hugs and love! ♡♡♡
@staciesheppard20484 жыл бұрын
❤💞❤
@danpro45194 жыл бұрын
Sorry about your childhood. The tiger parent stuff sounds like it can go way off the rails.
@danpro45194 жыл бұрын
Also, I think your case really points out a flaw in Dr. Grande proposing Jennifer's actions as not preventable. It seems to me very unlikely that she would've plotted her parents murder if her parents weren't so overbearing; just as it's unlikely that you would have walked home from school sick if your parents had lightened up some. Yes, murder is a very rare response to "tiger parenting," but that doesn't mean it didn't play a central role in such negative behavior.
@Ryan-kr9ep4 жыл бұрын
Me: When is Dr Grande going to run out of cases to analyze? Me again: Oh, that’s right.... the world is so messed up there’s no end.
@ImadeUlook4 жыл бұрын
I know right
@ImadeUlook4 жыл бұрын
@Pisces Rising Intuition agreed
@Ryan-kr9ep4 жыл бұрын
@Pisces Rising Intuition I wonder what his idea of a vacation is? Posting just one KZbin video per day? Hahaha. When does he have time for clinical work?
@annacarlile4 жыл бұрын
I would be drained honestly
@sherunswithscissors4 жыл бұрын
Ryan - he has lately retired.
@spacecats36494 жыл бұрын
The parents have a part in this. Instead of getting help from her parents, they abused her. They created the monster.
@antoniobranch4 жыл бұрын
“THE PARENTS WANTED TROPHY CHILDREN”.
@hummingpylon4 жыл бұрын
You reap what you sow. They raised a stone cold child who when got cornered struck back with all might!
@nadiazahroon65734 жыл бұрын
antonio branch most cultures are very demanding and harsh on girls.
@moondog76944 жыл бұрын
@@hummingpylon I disagree with you that she was stone cold. In the afterword written by psychologist Dr. Betty Kershner in the book by Jeremy Grimaldi about Jennifer Pan, she strongly alludes to borderline personality disorder, not antisocial personality disorder. I think the only reason she didn't come right out and say it is because there is some rule governing psychologists that says it's unethical to diagnose someone they've never met. But she mentions a teddy bear if I recall correctly, and teddy bears are a transitional object that people with borderline personality disorder take with them to hospitals. It mentions teddy bears and BPD in the book by psychologist David Robinson. I might be misremembering though. But in Grimaldi's book it says "Greenberg says that the cutting, the suicide attempts...". Either way, the most common reason why someone has BPD is because of the parents. Either the parents didn't protect her from other people, or the parents abused or neglecter her themselves. Just my opinion.
@b3at24 жыл бұрын
It sounds like she had a total mental break down...
@tthbro4 жыл бұрын
@@cptfreeman8966 I love how ignorant you are, dont raise children please.. I mean you have chance to be president of the USA and why you are not?? see, everyone have "chance" to be anything but for some the chance is higher and for some, its astronomically low you could not even imagine so low decimal. I will diagnose you as a idiotic.
@NC-ck5oj4 жыл бұрын
The reid technique should be banned everywhere in the world because it presumes the person in question is guilty. Its done purely as a way to get a confession by hook or by crook
@KingofHearts4 жыл бұрын
Never talk to the police y’all. If you’re a timid person and they pressure you It helps to act like it’s out of your hands and is non-negotiable (eg: my lawyer/parents/etc. will be mad if I don’t contact my lawyer first. If my lawyer says it’s ok I’ll be happy to speak with you etc. Police are very good at guilting and shaming you, do not negotiate or compromise on this; lawyer first, then we’ll take it from there okthx)
@Hannah-zw9ow4 жыл бұрын
KingofHearts literally. NEVER talk to the police. I repeat: NEVER TALK TO POLICE! They’ll tell you only guilty people ask for a lawyer, that’s a lie! DON’T TALK TO POLICE!
@YourPartnerInCrime4 жыл бұрын
Totally agree! Never take a polygraph either!
@SjofnBM19894 жыл бұрын
The only thing you should say to the police is "I want my lawyer."
@ilkkarautio24494 жыл бұрын
Fuck the police, as a mongrel i havent had one pleasant experience with them.
@volgg3 жыл бұрын
when I first heard about this case and I can't help but to see some degree of resemblance to how my sister and I grew up. My parents weren't as severe as Jennifer's parents were, but the after effects still haunts me till this day. My sister was the one with good grades and I was the one with not so good grades. She lived with pressures of high expectations and I lived with feeling of total failure. I still live my life that I don't deserve to be happy, or feel deserve to have good things because i'm a failure. It affects my professional life, i'm constantly mentally fogged up. I'm hesitant to go to therapy. I shut family and friends out often and forget to keep in touch. As for my sis, I can't speak for what her experience is like and what are the after effects from it. I'm not close with her either so i don't know, but i can only imagine it was a massive struggle. My heart goes out to anyone who went through tough abusive parenting.
@nancyfahey75183 жыл бұрын
My dad was a police chief. Mom was the sargent. I learned very early to lie and manipulate. I had plans of "removing" dad but thought it through and decided I didn't like the outcomes. I was a pretty sick puppy by the time I left home. Several years of drinking, drugs and looking for love in all the wrong places I finally grew up using God as a perfect father. Years later (66) I'm happy to say we were best buddies at the end of his life. I was even his caregiver and was there when he took his last breath. Miss you dad.
@corettejones3 жыл бұрын
@Nancy, Reconciliation brought Peace and Love to the end. My condolences.
@jessem61137 ай бұрын
amen
@jennyli90123 жыл бұрын
I feel that I honestly would’ve became just like Jennifer 3 years ago. I had tiger parents, got ostracized and bullied in high school, and had horrible grades in high school. I went from straight As in middle school to barely graduating high school. I faked my school reports and thought about matricide and running away all the time as a teen. The difference is that my parents mellowed out after I turned 20, accepted that I only got into community college, and didn’t force me to become a doctor or whatever. I was a shut-in weeb anyway so the curfews never affected me. I usually have to convince my lazy ass to leave the house most of the time if not for errands. Same for my little brother. He too is a shut in and a it too Minecraft obsessed(my parents are much more lax on him). Right now I’m 22, just trying to graduate college someday and move out, and hopefully assimilate back into society. I mentally blocked out my childhood and adolescence, but as I reached my 20s, I find it much easier to just forgive and forget.
@theia16534 жыл бұрын
Her parents created her. Tiger parenting is just an extreme form of narcissism. They couldn't do even a fraction of what they demand their kids to so they try to live through them as if it's their duty to please them, to follow the path they set out for them, and bring some shred of honor and dignity to them so they can turn around and brag to other parents. They never treated her like a human being with her own passions, wants, needs, and self-determination.
@asdadfafafafffallslsldd80683 жыл бұрын
This is very true, but should not be confused with NPD. It's definitely narcissistic behavior, but the persons behind the behavior can be normal.
@DrJ-hx7wv3 жыл бұрын
No it isn't. This is how everyone parented years ago.
@speaktruth99893 жыл бұрын
@@DrJ-hx7wv slavery also existed years ago should we go back to that? No parenting need to change just like how slavery laws did. Stop living in the past and let’s progress as a society.
@tymondabrowski123 жыл бұрын
@@DrJ-hx7wv where? Who? I can recall cases when older kids were more controlled - like in rich older families - or worked hard, in less rich families, but never both at the same time to that extreme. But that's what I can tell from central European history, not sure which culture you mean?
@yoleeisbored2 жыл бұрын
But this isn't healthy parenting if you are raising a kid in a different country... the kid is going to grow up isolated, socially awkward, and lonely, surrounded by other kids who are not asian and are not tiger parented. Kid might get bullied and immigrant parents don't understand what their kids go through
@jthevisionary4 жыл бұрын
Honey, wake up!! Dr. Grande posted a new vid!!
@munderlarkst4 жыл бұрын
I am curious what your thoughts are on "tiger mom" parenting, generally. Thank you. Dr. Grande, for all of your wonderful videos!
@CoffeeLover-mz7bk4 жыл бұрын
Yes! Do a Tiger parent video!
@mediocreman63233 жыл бұрын
It is destructive. You teach children to walk, you tell children the way, but you don't kick them down it. Personally, I was educated in a stricter way than others, one of my life's lessons was for instance, that, no matter what you do, you do it right. It is great to be an elite doctor etc., and you should absolutely go for it, but it is better to be a street sweeper who makes streets clean and safe than to be a doctor who cannot cure people - no matter what you do, do it properly, do it right. From that perspective, “tiger moms” are an utter failure, because they can “create” that genius once in a while, people who would not have become what they are had they grown up with neglectful parents, but most of the time, “tiger moms” will create psychological wrecks rather than mentioned geniuses. You can easily nurture talented children without this tiger-mom-psycho-bullshit. Poor Jennifer. She learned to value wealth and success over humanity. And so she killed her parents because she could not have the success, so at least she wanted to keep the wealth. The humanity of her parents was not relevant. No wonder. She never learned about its importance.
@iknow49133 жыл бұрын
I wonder who made that term it’s so weird
@uui2193 жыл бұрын
@@iknow4913 It's an Asian thing.
@iknow49133 жыл бұрын
@@uui219 ahh
@songwithoutword4 жыл бұрын
Oh wow, I forgot she had a brother before Dr. G's retelling. That must be so sad for him to have lost his mom by his sister's hand.
@lunix32594 жыл бұрын
@@valerierodger7700 I agree, some can take pressure but I think her parents wasn't the type to help her through her hardships and patronizing. It doesn't matter what they seem like to us, because for Jennifer they're too much. But again, her boyfriend's influence contributed the most to her behaviour
@icturner234 жыл бұрын
ABC No, the father isn’t gone and the mother was apparently the kinder, less strict one. So the brother has had the worst of everything. I hope he is happy and independent by now, but at the age when he should have been thinking about moving out (like his sister should have) he will have been emotionally devastated and stuck with his father more than ever.
@icturner234 жыл бұрын
Valerie Rodger Well, it’s definitely awful parenting, but they didn’t deserve to be murdered/wounded as a result.
@icturner234 жыл бұрын
Kevin Hornbuckle Nobody has suggested what?
@laikaevelyn44784 жыл бұрын
@@icturner23 No the brother had already moved out of the house by the time of the murder and attempted murder. The brother was already in University in another town so was not living at home
@shonaharris93284 жыл бұрын
I watched the police interrogation and she didn’t have a chance. A lawyer, at least. This girl needed therapy, she snapped. Thank you for this one Dr. Grande. I am one of the people who requested it. A really objective yet compassionate assessment of this case.
@Dancingonthesun4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande, your organized model of presentation and steady voice eases my anxiety, despite the subject matter. Thank you for the work you put into making these videos.
@juliadumaurier94944 жыл бұрын
I would love to hear your analysis on the Richardson family murders. Jasmine Richardson was 12 at the time of the murders and she ended the lives of both her parents and younger brother. This case took place in Canada, where offenders under the age of 18 receive a maximum sentence of 10 years. As a mental health educator, I would love to know your take. Thank you! ❤️
@diannekalk4814 жыл бұрын
This case happened in Alberta.
@diannekalk4814 жыл бұрын
Julia DuMaurier this story of Jasmine Richardson in a way reminds me of that story I think was from California, where a teenager was apparently kidnapped by her dad's closest friend. The mum was murdered, her little brother and the family dog as well, and a fire set to cover up this tragedy. Then she and this man went on the run into the mountains where he was discovered and shot and killed by police officers. Did she actually plan this, just like Jasmine Richardson?
@juliadumaurier94944 жыл бұрын
dianne Kalk do you remember the name of that girl? It sounds really familiar.
@Rose-zn5ql4 жыл бұрын
Julia duMaurier was it Hannah Anderson?
@michaellovely66012 жыл бұрын
@@diannekalk481 Medicine Hat to be precise.
@pembrokelove4 жыл бұрын
“I don’t know how communities can trust law enforcement when they do not have to be honest.” Say it again for the people in the back, Dr. G!
@shellyr.43354 жыл бұрын
👆👆👆
@pembrokelove4 жыл бұрын
Noel Normandin if they actually did it, you don’t need to lie to incarcerate them. That’s where unjust incarceration of innocent people starts.
@Hannah-zw9ow4 жыл бұрын
Noel Normandin police speak to far more innocent people than they do criminals in the pursuit of a conviction. This is why we have “presumed innocent until proven guilty.” Out of six interviews, only one is the killer. Lie to the other five and you risk false confessions, especially with people who are emotionally or mentally unstable or who are young. It happens far too often. Also, criminals are still humans.
@Hannah-zw9ow4 жыл бұрын
Suspicious Ned they are supposed to be impartial. If they become jaded and allow past conversations to influence the way they behave in current ones, they shouldn’t be cops.
@peggycearnach80344 жыл бұрын
Police who use the Reid method are destroying people’s faith in the honesty of law enforcement everywhere. They actually think that the ends justify the means. Governments and their departments nearly always work this way, as they can justify harming the few to help the many. They will torture an individual to justify saving a number of innocents. This is what the police think they are doing, problem is - they don’t seem to have a very good hit/miss record. Their own individual biases overtake their logic. I’d like to see the (true unedited) statistics on the validity of the confessions they get this way.
@thtben4 жыл бұрын
If you want fewer bad things to happen, not being a shitty parent is a good way to start. Because this _was_ preventable. By not incredibly authoritarian parenting. Her development would have taken a different path if she had not been drilled to place her self-worth in some vacuous idea of success. She would not have been the unempathetic person she became without that, and that was a precondition for committing this act. (Mind you: I'm talking causality, not responsibility in a moral sense. It was still deeply wrong to try and kill her parents, obviously.)
@helenjohnson75834 жыл бұрын
thtben Kind of like being a family member with no rights.
@xiongmaomeng4 жыл бұрын
@@valerierodger7700 Several Chinese immigrant children I knew committed suicide. But many immigrant parents still insist on requiring them children to fulfill their own failed dream of great success and recognition.
@thtben4 жыл бұрын
@@valerierodger7700 I don't know whether her brother had the same experience; but it doesn't matter to my argument. I did not claim the parenting she was subjected to was the direct or only cause for her act. In my opinion, it was a necessary condition, not a sufficient one.
@eaglefeather13594 жыл бұрын
This.
@lilyw.7194 жыл бұрын
Pfft. Plenty of people have abusive childhoods without becoming pathological liars and murdering their parents.
@vivienleigh46404 жыл бұрын
"a young romance fueled with passion - as opposed to common sense" Liked that one :)
@CharlotEYUT4 жыл бұрын
Dr Grande, I sense a higher hint of emotion in your voice when concluding this video . It is a horrendous case where many lives have been destroyed. Thanks once again ❤️
@dsadad214 жыл бұрын
JCS Psychology just uploaded a video about Jennifer, and you just added so much more information, context, and perspective. Thank you
@jodiefinney50723 жыл бұрын
@Lightning Star yep...Dr. Grande, True crime Loser, and JCS are my 3 go to's. They can all do a video on the same case and Ill get 3 different perspectives. I love it!
@kelvinhbo4 жыл бұрын
This was preventable, don't treat your kids as slaves would be a good way to start...
@mike045744 жыл бұрын
Most asian parents are like this but you don’t see all kids murdering their parents
@Rodniikun4 жыл бұрын
That's bull. She could've moved out by then, she was in college. How about not murdering people, would be a good way to start.
@kelvinhbo4 жыл бұрын
@@mike04574 Most people that are abused don't murder their abusers either.
@kelvinhbo4 жыл бұрын
@The Dora Treating a child all her life like this is child abuse, the one thing almost every single murderer serial killer etc. have in common is they were abused as children. Not every abused person becomes a murderer, in this case this one did.
@jennikaesquivel-mendez10024 жыл бұрын
What broke my heart was when in the last interview the investigator asked her “Forget about what your parents wanted, what did you want to become? What did you wanted to do in the future?” - when she answered it was super SUPER INSIGHTFUL as to have access to her interior, to who she could have become.There is such a thing as to be held emotionally hostage, in this case, that’s why SHE DID NOT HAVE THE REASONING AS TO THINK “Ok I am going to move out, this situation have a viable solution”...
@TrishasMusic4 жыл бұрын
As someone coming from a similar family situation (except that I did end up going to college), I can understand where the coldness towards her parents, lying, and possible resentment comes from. Having "tiger parents" really damages your psyche and mental well being.
@carolv84504 жыл бұрын
I went to school with a boy who was so terrified of his parents that when he would get an A- on a paper he would start to cry right then in the classroom.
Thanks! I'd never heard of "That Chapter". I will be heading there now!
@DeepSoulUnit4 жыл бұрын
shaaronie you won’t regret it, one of my fave channels
@jodiefinney50724 жыл бұрын
TCL= interrogation analysis that will also make you laugh
@freyashipley65564 жыл бұрын
How could anyone grow up to be loving and empathic with parents like that?
@blueblaze98623 жыл бұрын
I honestly don't think its the worst thing in the world. Worst case scenario she disobeys her parents n gets disowned by them
@gd444 жыл бұрын
Well researched, as usual. I love this channel because, as a scientist myself, I understand the way scientists talk to other scientists. Peppered with caveats and subtle humor when applicable, but with the highest regard for truth without bias. Top notch work, Dr. Grande!
@nomedigas79464 жыл бұрын
Very well stated; I concur completely. His research while concise is always both thorough, insightful and enlightening, I almost always wind up learning about new critical facts that are typically absent from media / other analysts' coverage. Thanks Dr Grande as always!
@KingofHearts4 жыл бұрын
Without forging report cards and pretending to be studying pharmacology, she could’ve gradually recalibrated her parents expectations into something more realistic; by way of constant disappointment. You know, like the rest of us do.
@beevie40814 жыл бұрын
Haha, just ease them into the idea of mediocrity. Before you know it, they'll look at you and think "well, at least they didn't commit parricide"
@Cat-tastrophee4 жыл бұрын
Oof
@emilyflotilla9314 жыл бұрын
You speak with the wisdom of sages!
@nursejessie81494 жыл бұрын
Haha haha 😂
@erihitsuki4 жыл бұрын
First off, thank you for not blaming Jennifer's parents. This all could have been avoided with communication. I am Asian and my parents used to have really high expectations of me in high school, but towards the end of my senior year, I was able to recalibrate their expectations. I had many, many sit downs with my folks and explained many times why I am not academically gifted. Fast forward 20 years, I have a great relationship with my folks.
@pepe66664 жыл бұрын
her behavior was bred into her by her parents. if you raise a person with a mindset and give them only one way to escape torment then they will take it.
@lauras30024 жыл бұрын
She had other ways out, she could have just left. She wanted to keep the financial benefits of living with them/in their house.
@pepe66664 жыл бұрын
@@lauras3002 yeah but people don't think rationally.
@karunsagar17733 жыл бұрын
@@lauras3002 and frankly that should be her right. Parents are morally responsible for their kids well being.
@rachelgooden99813 жыл бұрын
@@lauras3002 she likely didn’t want to run away as how they viewed her as a failure would remain. She would be constantly reminded that she’s a failure as someone out there (her parents ) know that. It’s complicated with the mind. But some rather a person die than the person see them for what they are. The latter is more painful. I think it’s a mixture of this. Especially if she knew she would continue to disappoint them.
@gabe-po9yi4 жыл бұрын
I watched a segment on TV about the children of tiger parents in an Asian country committing suicide because of the pressure put on them. Additionally, the show went into classrooms and showed kids falling asleep at their desks, even 9 -10 year old’s. It’s been studied and revealed that teenagers need a lot of sleep and we all know adequate sleep is essential for emotional and mental health for everybody. When I was in middle and high school, I frequently had to take a nap when I got home from school, even though I went to bed every night between 9:30 and 10 pm and slept until 7 a.m. So, take the fact these kids are getting about four hours of sleep a night and the pressure to succeed it’s no wonder teen suicide is increasing in that particular culture.
@CC-mr5xq7 ай бұрын
Sounds like South Korea? I remember a story where a teen jumped out the classroom window and killed himself right before an important exam.
@MarkAL954 жыл бұрын
Girlfriend: Hey do you wanna go to the beach? Me: O.C.E.A.N. OPENNESS, CONSCIENTIOUSNESS, EXTRAVERSION
@44sleek254 жыл бұрын
Agreeableness and Neuroticism
@KaeMcSpadden4 жыл бұрын
I heard that kids are actually more likely to rebel against their parents if they grew up in a strict upbringing.
@matthewlee49994 жыл бұрын
Depends on the temperament of the child.
@TehKaiser3 жыл бұрын
I heard that a pot of money with a mechanism to get it after death motivates many to murder, be it for an inheritance or life insurance. Double Indemnity, anyone?
@TheAllianceEnt4 жыл бұрын
Jennifer "But what's gonna happen to me?" Pan
@gigi93014 жыл бұрын
Young Lady, you're gonna get the Spanking of your Life, which you should have been given Years ago!!
@varietydelle52534 жыл бұрын
@Emily Pace it's good that her dad survived
@MissMiserize3 жыл бұрын
@@varietydelle5253 If only because he'll live with the oain and regret forever.
@jankowalski7343 жыл бұрын
"I can't tell you but I can show you some chair..." :)
@CB-ke9rs4 жыл бұрын
Although this is a perplexing crime with many unanswered questions your systematic, exhaustive analysis deepened my understanding of this case. As always, thank YOU for all the time and effort you put forth to educate and inform us!
@bebe88423 жыл бұрын
The 'power' of abuse in all its possible forms... Abuse should be studied continuously and for a long time so we can, hopefully, one day get closer to the understanding of the human mind and its monstrosities. Thank you for the video, Dr. Grande! ❤
@antiquemacabre4 жыл бұрын
"Just a reminder; I'm not diagnosing anyone, but I will slay you with my razor-sharp wit."
@poughkeepsieblue4 жыл бұрын
I have the utmost sympathy for this girl. Until I heard that she coulda just walked away. She chose to stay, and slay. Bad choices.
@chg12644 жыл бұрын
And collect insurance...
@violetapelzman43164 жыл бұрын
I don't think Dr. Grande didn't mentioned this, but other videos I have watched on this case pointed out that walking away would equal being disowned. Of course this is no justification for her actions, but just pointing out the stakes were higher.
@wendyleeconnelly29394 жыл бұрын
legally and physically she could have walked away, but a lot of young people just don't know how to, and culturally it may have seemed unthinkable to the extent it truly never occurred to her. Still no excuse.
@rishaa6824 жыл бұрын
i have no sympathy, with a lot of killers they had some kind of abuse, were raped, experienced head injuries etc. shes just a cold blooded killer 25 years is too short
@beevie40814 жыл бұрын
@@wendyleeconnelly2939 Apparently she had been living and working on her own for years before she was caught lying about attending university. Regardless, it's hard to see how moving out could be more unthinkable than murder.
@adrianaandrade88094 жыл бұрын
I agree Dr Grande, the way the police use those tactics can make almost anyone confess to anything. My father used those tactics on me as a teenager. I confessed to things I never did 😢
@longwhitemane4 жыл бұрын
I was a legal secretary in 1989 when I was given this piece of sage advice from LA County Judge Victor Barerra: "Always deny it and demand proof. If they have proof, keep your mouth shut and lawyer up." Cheers!
@braidos.k36574 жыл бұрын
@Suspicious Ned how's that boot taste?
@adrianaandrade88094 жыл бұрын
@@sharonlee7055 yes I understand, is not ok but happens 💙😅
@adrianaandrade88094 жыл бұрын
@@longwhitemane sure, wish I had that choice with my father. 💙
@adrianaandrade88094 жыл бұрын
@Suspicious Ned I don't post anything for likes, I post because it is a choice to participate in a commentary in a channel I appreciate. My father was abusive and he past away long time ago and I forgave him and moved on to be a healthy decent human been because for me it is a choice to be better. I don't post anything with the intent to hurt anyones feelings.
@ameygarcia-aviles53324 жыл бұрын
A case from my corner of the world, well done, and as always very interesting 👏
@antidesign23844 жыл бұрын
It would be interesting to analyse her parents or other 'tiger parents'. Not every parent of Asian descent behaves like this. Personally I know a few European parents who have (pathologically) high expectations towards their children (friends of mine). Regards from Germany, dr Grande!
@hadbetterdays81182 жыл бұрын
I also see parents this in parents who have high expectations on a kid who might be more smarter than the other. Evan though I'm not asian I have witnessed what happens when you don't allow your kid to make mistakes and learn from them the yelling was so brutal that it gave me shivers to this day
@yoleeisbored2 жыл бұрын
But this isn't healthy parenting if you are raising a kid in a different country... the kid is going to grow up isolated, socially awkward, and lonely, surrounded by other kids who are not asian and are not tiger parented. Kid might get bullied and immigrant parents don't understand what their kids go through
@Emilythematerialgurl Жыл бұрын
My mom tells me stories of her child hood my poor oma (rip) she left Germany here aren't were rich but cut her off because she was pregnant and to get away from bad times she went to us at age of 19 almost 20 and only knew 3 words of English hello,telephone, and bathroom from a TV show but gradually learned it more on she was so poor and when my opa(rip) they got separated it was tought on her mom but she was very German and up to her death didn't get any less German my mom sadly don't remember German because the school she went to was in Wisconsin where they told her you speak English not German because your in America made her cry but some stories I thought damn she had anger issues and very angry and my mom's liek you think but she calmed down when got older but she was 87 if lived another year 88 on new years but she may have been 87 she had stories to make her sound like she was 100 years old
@idorski9979 Жыл бұрын
People who haven’t experience living with obsessive parents have a hard time understanding how toxic life this kind of life is. It is very difficult to leave this sort of psychological hold that started at birth. I don’t know how much research is done on the dynamics of such households and how trapped the kids and even parents feel but I think it’s not right to say that Jennifer could have easily left her home. I also don’t think it’s unusual that meeting someone who makes you feel good leads to leaving a suffocating home and for it to lead to a bad result; it is usually a catalyst for wanting to get out of an oppressive situation, but it may unfortunately be misplaced emotions. Leaving a person for another is also usually seen in abusive relationships again because it highlights the differences in your reality vs. possibilities in other word hope for a better future where that person becomes your only way out in the mind of someone who is already troubled. Bad or obsessive parenting can result in fatal results.
@GradKat4 жыл бұрын
I feel sorry for her. I think her parents’ rigid attitudes turned her into the person she was. She lied all the time because she was afraid to tell them the truth. Of course there’s no excuse for murder, but maybe - like an abuse victim - Jennifer felt so emotionally imprisoned by her parents that she believed she had no choice if she was ever going to be free. As for her co-conspirators, I can never understand the mentality of a person who would kill a stranger just to help somebody else out (although no doubt in this case there was a financial inducement too). Re the “Reid technique” - here in Britain police are not allowed to lie to a suspect, which I think is how it should be.
@carolv84504 жыл бұрын
GradKat Follow the money.
@monkeynumbernine4 жыл бұрын
🙄 She has crappy parents...who, by the way, worked super hard to provide for their children, and that means it's just fine that she wanted them *MURDERED* for her inheritance. okeydokey then.
@rishaa6824 жыл бұрын
i cant believe you feel sorry for her lmao
@emilyflotilla9314 жыл бұрын
I agree wholeheartedly about not lying to suspects
@MrsDaedalus_4 жыл бұрын
I'm a Chinese immigrant living in Austria and I have started lying early on about exams and grades bc I was afraid of my mum's reaction. She got the consequences of her actions and murdering someone should never be excused. However, they probably do something we don't know to drive her mad. I believe that she should be rehabilitated.
@Chris-top-her4 жыл бұрын
I realise she killed her parents which is mental, but I can't help but feel sorry for her. She shouldn't have been put in that kind of situation in my opinion.
@saxenas3 жыл бұрын
Honestly why not kill her parents. Her parents did nothing but abuse and neglect her. Her parents were selfish and only cared about their image. That type of pressure on Jennifer since her birth would cause her to eventually snap and she might have killed herself. I'm glad the parents got attacked and only wish Jennifer got away with it. That is, if Jennifer really only snapped because of her abusive parents and not cuz she's evil herself. And it does seem like the case- she seemed like a regular decent person just under horrible circumstances, and anybody would snap when circumstances get horrible enough. Also nobody was helping her and nobody prolly would've helped her. She was trapped in that house with her parents and they made her codependent on them so she felt no way out. I only wish she got away with it. What can you do? Just keep obeying the parents for the rest of her life and allow all her willpower/hopes and dreams to die and just become a walking zombie? She would've succumbed to drugs or crime or would've lost her mind. And what would her parents have done? They would've blamed her for making them look bad and bringing shame to the family name. I absolutely stand by what Jennifer did she took the abuse for long enough i just wish she got away with it or better yet i wish she got saved from her parents somehow without murder taking place. Like some helpful relative who knew what she was going through. But you know how these type of cultures are- everyone's on the same program so they don't see anything wrong. But fuck her parents people like that are pieces of shit who hide behind the facade of being good family men/women with good jobs and carrying around briefcases and dressing properly. But they only do those things to look good to the public they never loved their kid.
@emilyflotilla9314 жыл бұрын
His favorite color is orange...lol. Love the deadpan humor you deliver.
@MaxHarden3 жыл бұрын
Never diagnosing, always speculating, it's Dr. Grande!
@cosimavonliebenau83174 жыл бұрын
Interesting video, yet again. It made me remember the Jeremy Bamber case. It often surprises me that more parents don’t get murdered by their tormented children.
@mawtymawty90104 жыл бұрын
Hello, Dr. Grande! I'd be very interested to hear your opinions on the possible applications of psychedelics such as psilocybin and LSD on mental health. Given the recent, promising research, I believe this topic would be an interesting new area for your channel to cover.
@dianac74574 жыл бұрын
Please! Would really love to hear your take on this. I listened to a podcast about UF studying this a while ago. Love your videos!
@doreenplischke76454 жыл бұрын
I agree
@pamelabergnerbergner50934 жыл бұрын
Also ayahuasca
@taopaille-paille49923 жыл бұрын
Marijuana and mushrooms had terrible effects on me. Paranoia trips. Was diagnosed with schizophrenia few years after consumption of these products.
@mawtymawty90103 жыл бұрын
@@taopaille-paille4992 those who are genetically predisposed to conditions like schizophrenia and psychosis may experience those symptoms earlier in life than if they'd never tried psychedelics, but there is no evidence whatsoever that psychedelics actually cause these disorders in users. Practice safe use and understand the risks that can take place based on your individual factors
@Fembro4 жыл бұрын
I see someone watches Jim Can't Swim.
@ealden51464 жыл бұрын
@@Kitties_are_pretty would you elaborate?
@dr.derekrobinson19204 жыл бұрын
@@Kitties_are_pretty JSC analyzes interrogation techniques and even mentions that body language is always a retrospective factor. What are you on about?
@songwithoutword4 жыл бұрын
At very least, they share an audience since we're watching both lol.
@Currency9994 жыл бұрын
@UCifqPiptfAVAooqwSFT9XRQ its okay if your to stupid to understand
@sobbos89754 жыл бұрын
Joshua Brooks but professionals use the tactics Jim brings up. That’s actually where he gets them from lol L
@jennj20494 жыл бұрын
Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this, as usual! The last few days I been watching a lot of videos about her so perfect timing for me! Hope you're having a great day you're awesome 💙💙
@mrsapplez20074 жыл бұрын
And me
@bowlampar4 жыл бұрын
Parent having unrealistic high expectation on their children is putting very heavy pressure on their shoulder, it can create very damaging consequences to a child future psychological and emotional well beings.
@thunderfeet4 жыл бұрын
Gonna watch this before I go to bed. Hope you are well DR G. Love from the UK
@salemthesphynx22264 жыл бұрын
I JUST watched her police interviews the other day. 😱 Fascinating!
@lanewellness9004 жыл бұрын
You’re one of the most consistent You Tubers🧡‼️
@browniehendricks37264 жыл бұрын
I evaluate your videos according to the five factor model OCEAN. Are they Original, Charming, Educational Amusing, and Necessary. Again, according to the model you have delivered a great take on this case. Thanks again. Take care.
@sharonhennessy56724 жыл бұрын
Wow listening to you always exposes me to new thoughts and insight. Love how your humour just slips into the dialogue and you keep such a straight face .. 🦘
@alexandervangelderen81094 жыл бұрын
Love that did a video on her! I now watch the interrogations of some of your subjects and it adds some depth
@angelretke9654 жыл бұрын
Wowza, this was a lit more complicated than it first appeared. Thanks Dr. Grande!
@tuszajnojneeg00524 жыл бұрын
I'd have to say her parents played a part in her development. Of course other factors in her life built the perfect storm which eventually lead to murder.
@natashapillai53693 жыл бұрын
Thank you Dr. Grande for this analysis. It is astonishing that as many people are sympathizing with Pan as there are here. It's doubly horrifying to see people exoticizing the "Tiger Parent" (which probably has more to do with class than ethnicity, Asian immigrants to North America tend to be wealthier or higher status at home than other immigrant groups). Assuming her parents were actually abusive, Pan was an adult with a job and a friend to live with. She was in a much stronger position to leave than many children of *actually* abusive parents. It's infinitely better for a child of abusive parents to reclaim agency and leave rather than waiting on their parents to change. Even if the parents *say* they're cutting you off forever, your forever is longer than theirs and they know that. It's not true for all parents, but impending mortality does tend to mend parent-child relationships. I agree completely that Pan's parents could have done nothing to prevent this brutal attempted/actual murder. Also, I can't speak for Canadian cops, but yes, police are liars and legally not obligated to actually serve the public. PS: As you've pointed out in the Johnson case, most parricides are carried out by "battered children". But even a child who is truly driven to homicide would almost certainly be traumatized by carrying it out, *even if the homicide was the best possible choice*, because violence is inherently traumatizing if you are a normally empathetic person. The lack of trauma with both these offenders is pretty telling.
@braydinsisco78564 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande, coming through with the immaculate sense of humor as always
@Marmot_Love4 жыл бұрын
I always enjoy these elegant analyses.
@danpro45194 жыл бұрын
Wait, seriously? You don't think Jennifer's parents could have prevented this? Strongly disagree with that one. Unless you're saying their overbearing methods are entirely genetic and they were destined to make these decisions. I think a few ounces of empathy, communication, and grace throughout her childhood would've greatly changed her course. (PS, still love your insights, but I'm a bit surprised by this)
@knowledgeacquisition92684 жыл бұрын
She actually got me on the track I am in college and for a career. I want to learn how trauma makes people do bad things.
@shojinryori4 жыл бұрын
Knowledge Acquisition ...and indeed, what constitutes trauma? We can all agree that Jennifer had a restrictive upbringing, but from her parents’ point of view having a home and food and educational opportunities would have seemed like paradise. 🤷♀️
@yoleeisbored2 жыл бұрын
But this isn't healthy parenting if you are raising a kid in a different country... the kid is going to grow up isolated, socially awkward, and lonely, surrounded by other kids who are not asian and are not tiger parented. Kid might get bullied and immigrant parents don't understand what their kids go through
@tatianaramos6193 Жыл бұрын
Amazing and clear perspectives and interpretations. You’re amazing Dr Grande. I absolutely agree with you regarding these young people’s lack of empathy and improbability of redemption.
@Aprilforevergreen4 жыл бұрын
I agree with you about lying and particularly on the part of police. It's a point that not many people have sympathy with. Impressed with the reasoning here - and the ethical position. Another great analysis. This is one I will be listening to again.
@patriciaarmfadelicatelife4 жыл бұрын
His favorite color was orange! 🤣🤣🤣 I love your witty sense of humor! Hi from Brazil.
@MyselftheElf4 жыл бұрын
Why didn't the school counselor or teacher help her pass that class, or change her curriculum so she didn't need calc. Also, that amount of money could've took the couple to the States, or somewhere far. I understand though, she was probably taught to stay around and take care of them & not live far.
@bronip70933 жыл бұрын
She didn't need calculus. It is not required for an OSSD but she was probably was short of credits because she failed the class and did not take something to replace it.
@1moderntalking13 жыл бұрын
In this day and age in my locality, asian parents are denying their kid’s their childhood and forcing them to do extra-school tuition. These kids though smart lack good character. I am not surprised at least one of them retaliated this way.
@totallynotcyrus76224 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande, I'm so glad you're on KZbin! I learn something every time I watch one of your videos. I've seen the Reid Technique, for example, countless times in TV shows. I could always identify it in practice, but I never knew anything about it as a construct. Now, I can study it formally and with that knowledge, write better fiction stories. Thanks!
@carolyncervantes6828 Жыл бұрын
I appreciate all your videos, but this one is extra special on all levels! Thank you...u r most helpful. Happy 2023
@uptown36364 жыл бұрын
Tigers often dominate all they encounter, blissfully unaware that-sometimes-a hunter lurks in the tall grass.
@zeegeeecs4 жыл бұрын
Really interested in cases like these; statistically rare even within its own unusual “group”. Great content as always!
@ACollectionOfBookmarks4 жыл бұрын
It was so crazy to see her flip between mimicking her mother's tearful last few words with emotion and when she was asked to translate in English she was cold, robotic, no emotion on her face, no pitch changes in her voice. It was scary to see how she could flip her emotional act on and off like that.
@elenamartin68942 жыл бұрын
That's trauma...
@sheilavayenas20162 жыл бұрын
She made little mouse sounds to make herself seem tiny and helpless. Oh yeah...TINY And HELPLESS as a barracuda. Don't turn ur back on her
@curtissea53407 ай бұрын
Women..smh
@cerealkiillar4 жыл бұрын
The discussion concerning deceptive strategies employed by police brought this case to a new level. It's so difficult to justify deception from the perspective of ethics, and I'm so grateful that Dr. Grande was courageous enough to broach that issue. Community confidence in law enforcement is crucial to promoting public safety--and bringing justice to truly guilty people. And in this case, the police were able to convict based on burner phone conversations, so deception was hardly necessary. I agree with Dr. Grande that the dangers of embarking on deception to achieve ends comes with consequences--regardless of who makes that choice.
@Estelle-Maureen4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Grande is at it again - Making sense of nonsense so that my mind can rest. Thank you again Sir!
@girijag.624 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the analysis, Dr. Grande. From what I've read about this case, I don't think she ever admitted to her parents that she didn't complete high school, though. When she was finally caught by them, she told them a half-truth--that she had completed college but had never started her pharmacy course.
@bluaurora86354 жыл бұрын
“Daniel’s favorite color was orange, so perhaps things really worked out for him in this case” OMG this had me LOL you are a SAVAGE and I love it. 🤣
@Neillan3 жыл бұрын
Had to scroll to see someone mention it, was not disappointed!
@Saffron-sugar4 жыл бұрын
"I don't see how communities can trust law enforcement if they're not obligated to be honest"......... mmmhmmm
@thelastwhitelion4 жыл бұрын
dr grande i appreciate your analysis of the police in these subjects. a lot of ppl who discuss criminal cases rarely challenge the methods of the officers, but your asides on the ethics of lying to a suspect during a confession keeps us aware of the systems we live in. I am just glad you are willing to bring awareness to the idea that the police are never infallible pillars of justice and are human too.
@dominiquedoeslife4 жыл бұрын
This was an excellent video!! I agree. From a psychological standpoint, lying can rewire the brain, and undermine trust, integrity, and empathy. Not good!! Radical honesty, integrity, truth, and empathy will out. Case in point, Jennifer. While we can’t say for sure whether it was nature or nurture which most influenced (or, which exclusively influenced) her potential to lean toward psychopathy, I think we can assume with relative certainty that lying became a way of life which informed her worldview.
@reythejediladyviajakku60784 жыл бұрын
I know “Tiger Parents “ can be psychologically tough to deal with but you don’t kill them
@reythejediladyviajakku60784 жыл бұрын
Jo Pearson that’s true and she did lie a lot because she was afraid to disappoint her parents
@reythejediladyviajakku60784 жыл бұрын
Jo Pearson I agree. In the Tiger Mom book, the mom had these highly unrealistic expectations for both her daughters and it actually threatened the relationship with her younger daughter because she wouldn’t lighten up on those expectations
@reythejediladyviajakku60784 жыл бұрын
Jo Pearson I agree. In the Tiger Mom book, the mom had these highly unrealistic expectations for both her daughters and it actually threatened the relationship with her younger daughter because she wouldn’t lighten up on those expectations
@reythejediladyviajakku60784 жыл бұрын
Jo Pearson what gets me is that these parents don’t think they’re wrong in these expectations. They think they’re setting their children up for success but in reality, it’s a lot of pressure to constantly be perfect and though the child doesn’t go as far as to lie and kill them, it can be psychologically damaging trying to meet such difficult expectations
@davidmenke75524 жыл бұрын
Thank you Dr. Grande for a great analysis as usual! Wondering if you could consider doing an analysis of Desmond is Amazing. Or perhaps an analysis of whether you believe his parents endorse any mental health criteria and/or if you think his parents are considering Desmond's best interests.
@foekist73124 жыл бұрын
Please do a video; speculating about what could've been happening inside the minds of, Fred and Rosemary West. Those two were cray-cray!!
@melissadang603 жыл бұрын
Dr Grande you are the key to understanding human psyche and ur a great speaker is so clear and simple yet so effective as well taught!!
@omniyambot98764 жыл бұрын
I have many opinions to say. But please do keep making this kinds of topics. It's thrilling, informative and promotes thinking.
@brianedwards52234 жыл бұрын
I received a notice to report for jury duty in Newmarket Ontario prior to this trial. When I arrived at the court room I noticed a tall young Asian female standing in the prisoners box along with 2 or 3 young males. The murder had received a great deal of publicity locally so I recognized the case immediately. I believe the defendants were all scheduled to be tried together. When it came time for me to take the oath and answer questions from the many lawyers who were representing different clients, it appeared that I was going to be selected for the jury (only one or two people had already been selected). One lawyer however seemed to have a problem with the fact that I had worked for many years as a commodity tax auditor for the provincial government. In this type of trial they generally have trouble with people in positions of authority (teachers, tax auditors, etc.) - especially if they are unionized (my thinking). As a result I was dismissed (not selected). A few years earlier I sat on a jury. They had used up all of their options to decline candidates so they had to accept me. It was a murder trial and one of the lawyers at this trial was also representing a client at the Jennifer Pan trial. Judging by his body language I believe he recognized me (He did not object to my potential participation as a juror). This particular trial lasted about 6 weeks. Looking back, I am happy I was not selected as a juror. We were warned that this trial would take a few months. I believe it started in April and ended - at least for Jennifer Pan - in December!