Jeremy Clarkson on 2-Star Hotels

[@omegaprime8612]

Clarkson had a career in comedy if he wanted it, just the first 30 seconds of this video had me in tears lol

[@rockacraig5653]

He kinda did with Top Gear.

[@nikoyochum6974]

Rocka Craig he still does with the grand tour

[@redtails]

... you mean the shows he's in are not comedy?

[@RetroGUY77]

He appears on Have I Got News For You?... A comedy panel show

[@snoopypingas5426]

redtails ёхблопрщнюп

[@vlcacek11]

18 years later, still hammering

[@turtlebro1816]

How does this have zero replies

[@brangwain]

How does this have one reply

[@HugoLopez-xm6tu]

I’m gay

[@spicyelcomo2334]

Red Cup hi dad I’m mom

[@solountipomas8616]

He don't go 2 star hotels anymore..

[@yakacm]

This clip is so old that his suit is back in fashion.

[@mathislee548]

diecast jam he never dress up to date

[@yakacm]

Yeah I realise that, I didn't necessarily say he was in fashion just his suit, lol.

[@rayhanathalla]

absolut legend for BBC

[@Alex-1611]

There's nothing about his suit that could even be considered outdated.

[@GrijzePilion]

Except for when he buttons it up, because suits were buttoned up really high in the 00s and we don't do that anymore. And double-breasted jackets are in again, for some reason, because obviously it's 1987.

[@acesul8811]

Clarkson really knows how to put together a segment about even mundane things and make it interesting and full of surprises. There's something about his style that's just unique.

[@aimfuldrifter]

Because he has a crazy-absurd sense of humour, is experienced in the world of tv and self-confident.

[@michelvanbriemen3459]

Perhaps most importantly, he's drawing from his own experiences and the experiences everyone "always" talks about. That means his content resonates with the audience far better than something that's crafted out of thin air.

[@krell2130]

mames jay coesn't doncur

[@lukefreeman828]

@tom lewis I'm being pedantic but "original top gear" didn't have May or Hammond...

[@lukefreeman828]

@tom lewis No, you're not talking about "Orginal" Top Gear there at all. May and Hammond were not in "Orginal" Top Gear at all. You're talking about what was called "New" Top Gear. Original Top Gear came out in 1977 and we're currently on the (unofficial) third generation of Top Gear. and remember just because "almost everyone in Britian" thinks something (which they don't you're just too young to think otherwise) doesn't make them right.

[@kroneyt1493]

"You're a man, you're alone, you're in a room! How long is it gonna take?" For fucks sake Clarkson.

[@AutumnKitty1]

@@lgamer9740 bless your heart

[@Mecha_Marv]

@@lgamer9740 Polished bishop joke.

[@lightningjet9444]

@@lgamer9740 so basically he grabs his fireman hose but instead of putting his hands on it and sliding down, he goes up again and down and up and down.

[@jamie8037]

@@lgamer9740 it was for adults, not children. Ofc you wont get it

[@jamie8037]

@Dimas Putra he said i don't get it

[@Tosuzu0321]

still better than that 0 star hotel in the Africa spacial on top gear.

[@MopShrudel]

Tosuzu Co still more luxurious than a travelodge

[@MikhaelAhava]

Tosuzu Co It's not even an hotel. More like a bed.

[@thonmoyrahman2270]

I thought that was the 1 million star hotel

[@josephcole8046]

Is your photo meant to look like an eyelash that people will try to brush away from the screen? Because it looks like it and it is very very annoying :'-D

[@statiq1941]

judopathoftruth done on ms paint wonderfully

[@PriyoM1993]

This video is before Clarkson got pregnant

[@thegreat0220]

And aged like an avocado

[@yosangle]

He is pregnant for last 10 years 😂

[@siddharthrai8605]

yos angle because he is birthing a rhinoceros

[@inaminuteanimations8430]

He was born pregnant

[@TM-zq9hy]

Gave birth to top gear and then the grand tour

[@Josh_Roberts]

So this is where the hammer joke originated!

[@StackBundle]

Bush craft Jon you could say his mom got... *Hammered*

[@georgewareham7327]

Diana Bond he was clearly just joking stop getting triggered on behalf of other people.

[@casehamatojones1369]

George Wareham sorry, I should’ve thought before commenting; I’m just often a serious person, I’ve taken the comment down just in case it causes offence .

[@QuattroZack1]

SRT Viper 51 you mean nailed?

[@francoisdvanderwesthuizen]

Well if your hammer can't fix it, get a bigger hammer...

[@WXdestroyer]

This made me realize that Jeremy Clarkson would be a phenomenal stand-up comedian.

[@FlyingScott]

Ever watched him on panel shows, he's fucking hysterical

[@josephcampbell4708]

@Mark Omega u had to take the opportunity lol

[@papakilo-2750]

his humor is too harsh for the libtards, he will get canceled in no time.

[@pldcanfly]

But then he would not have the liberty to drive around in expensive cars for a living.

[@wikansaktianto9215]

@@papakilo-2750 You mean for American?

[@perspii2808]

I always imagined that Clarkson was perpetually aged around 50, a constant force of nature, always middle aged. This is a really oddly revealing experience, and I’ll be having nightmares about it whilst realigning my entire worldview throughout the next few days

[@AlejjSi]

Check this out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qF67Y2Vol9WcfNk

[@seanoreilly1832]

Did you make it?

[@thegoodkidboy7726]

>50 >middle-aged Modern medicine has come so far.

[@Zauchi]

this looks like it was filmed in the 70's... but its late 90's. lol

[@aaronbays4]

Its a shitty 2 star on the side of the road hotel. They're always 20 years out of date lol.

[@SpeedDaemon3]

I spend many nights in a 2 star hotel, they have a 15 inch tv with tape player....

[@laurentbergeronmusic]

@@aaronbays4 so is Clarkson

[@daniyalshah1503]

Early 60's, it looks like

[@TheRailroad99]

@@daniyalshah1503 nope, the TV looks more like mid 80s.

[@adrielsebastian5216]

2:40 I love that even before Clarkson suggested doing _that_ the audience caught on to it. Also, that _polished bishop hotel_ bit took me longer than normal to understand 🙃

[@sk-sm9sh]

You do know that audience laughs are fake, right? Looking at this I can't just about think how dumb our shows used to be. Privileged man laughing out at the stuff that is designed to be affordable by average folks with fake audience laughs. All of this is such an exemplification of everything wrong with Thatcher period.

[@kami_narisama]

​@@sk-sm9sh boo fucking hoo go grow some funny bones

[@kami_narisama]

I'm 100% sure that it's not about what Clarkson was about so say, but rather because Clarkson doesn't fit in the bed lol. Notice how he have to half sit on the bed in order to fit

[@LordVader1094]

​@@sk-sm9shYou sound embarassingly bitter and incapable of enjoying a joke

[@Delicious_J]

​@@sk-sm9shOh shut up.

[@dogwiththeteeth3135]

Unfortunately, after this episode, a team of upset 2 star hotel managers kidnapped Clarkson and held him in a laboratory where his DNA was morphed with the DNA of a Sumatran Great Ape. He escaped, but has been forced to live his life as Part-Man and Part-Orangutan.

[@kylemccabe1863]

🤣🤣

[@okok72277]

All we know is, he's called the stig

[@adrielsebastian5216]

@@okok72277 "Some say he's a CIA experiment gone wrong..."

[@jacobrumens9601]

@@adrielsebastian5216…and that he only eats cheese.

[@xtremesplit1321]

@@jacobrumens9601All We Know Is…

[@redtails]

That man's a legend. Biggest mistake ever to take him off Topgear

[@monmonstartv5159]

the producer was a massive pussy I'm glad he's doing The Grand Tour

[@LordVictorHalgaard]

@@monmonstartv5159 The guy he hit didn't even care that much - he didn't want him fired. Don't know how hard he hit him to be fair.

[@cattysplat]

​@@LordVictorHalgaard He complained to management so he knew exactly what he was doing. Unfortunately in a left wing organisation of the BBC his and all similar presenters who do not follow the communist party mantra were numbered. Then to the press or it leaked and the lefty press had a field day with him, digging up all his ancient history like it has any relevance outside of their agenda. They got exactly what they wanted, the BBC continued it's left wing agenda and killed Top Gear with "diversity", millions quit watching the BBC and Clarkson, Hammond and May all went off to earn megabucks from Amazon. Yet the British people still get threatened with jail if we don't pay the TV license fee. Screw the BBC and the socialist license fee that keeps their agendas alive and their organisation well payed despite failing the nation in every single way on giving unbiased views and entertainment they actually want to watch.

[@somerandomguy2073]

@@cattysplat He punched his boss in the face and got fired, despite his boss saying to HIS boss that firing him was too harsh of a punishment. It has nothing to do with politics. If I punched my line manager in the face and he reported me to the managing director, I'd be fired in seconds.

[@KMDanish]

Honesty glad he got fired, The Grand Tour is a masterpiece

[@kip258]

He looks dramatically different now that he's much older, but he sounds EXACTLY the same.

[@johnking5174]

His voice is the same, but his stomach isn't. Back in 1999 when this was made he lies down on the bed and his stomach is nearly flat. 2020 he lies down and looks like he is 8 months pregnant.

[@andrewvanhalen1984]

​@johnking5174 he's got a real beer gut now lol

[@lazertag720]

lol when you turn on the bathroom lights it automatically calls the harrier from MW2

[@andrijastefanovic726]

*ENEMY HARRIERS INCOMING*

[@andrijastefanovic726]

I guess he should have used the Stinger to fix it

[@benedekhalda-kiss9737]

Harrier from ww2?

[@benedekhalda-kiss9737]

The harrier came out in 1967

[@bebopalloobop]

Benedek Halda-Kiss woooosh

[@ARB6769]

"CLARKSON!" ~ James May

[@oddities-whatnot]

ARB6769 Its still on, although with new presenters.

[@DzohnyPunk]

Just watch the Grand Tour, mate :)

[@danbuettner6956]

ARB6769 ,,HAMMOND!'' Jeremy Clarkson

[@andyapricot4104]

Kono Clarkson da!

[@user-mj2mv8qz8f]

I literally heard that in my head 🤣

[@afrog2666]

You`re a man, you`re in a room.. How long is it gonna take? lol..

[@potato1341]

A Frog well don't!

[@solountipomas8616]

Disgustingly-cozy.

[@garret1317]

` ≠'

[@jeremiasalvarez1872]

Idk, i usually complete a crucigram in about an hour

[@ttteo2771]

You are a man and a woman is with you....... how long it will take?

[@Cwmbran1984]

The Polished Bishop Hotel 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@rock3tcatU233]

Or the Polish Bishop Hotel.

[@u.v.s.5583]

Chess devotees often possess two pairs of polished bishops.

[@jk9554]

@@u.v.s.5583 So, you're saying: it's OK for them to polish their bishop on a nylon cloth?

[@Clouds095]

I don’t get it can someone explain?

[@TonyWhite22351]

@@Clouds095 check out the shape of the bishops on the chess board for a clue !

[@paianis]

That hotel is now a Travelodge.

[@paianis]

No, I'm serious; the hotel in Hemel mentioned at the end is now a Travelodge.

[@StaticYonder]

You're right. I'm from hemel too 😂

[@Landie_Man]

Nah come on we gotta go one step beneath Travelodge. Britannia!

[@hoikay1]

@@o-manhe-man1353 In my opinion Premier Inn is half decent...

[@liamw6562]

@Roda Koker I never trusted travelodge after I got shingles a day after I stayed in one, though I doubt it’s related

[@clarissamcpigeon7857]

He is absolutely right about the bathroom fan and the dodgy TV.

[@MonkeyHunch1]

a pulsating mass of static electricity.

[@cube4547]

You're a time bomb

[@hughshax5903]

You put one foot on the acrilan carpet and Boof!

[@nonofyabidnez5737]

What a legend!

[@Terminxman]

right? Evan Stone is

[@calummcconnell9120]

respect bro

[@dashcamuk23]

absolute legend

[@chriscaprice]

1:48 That laugh in the background made the joke 10x funnier

[@shabbirkhanbhai3238]

How fascinating how this video was just recommended to hundreds of thousands of people at the same time

[@ptrmatchett]

Shabbir Khanbhai haha reading this in 2020

[@KevinKickChannel]

Reading this on May 23rd, 2020 as well

[@TKainZero]

Yea. Kinda weird

[@persianskeptic4814]

It happens if you watch top gear related clips

[@anonUK]

Maybe they were all about to polish their bishops. Now, they will resist the temptation.

[@DrewSavo]

Its nearly June 2020, and some say *HES STILL AT IT!*

[@Gigidag77]

accurate to this day

[@marktrenfield]

Gigidag77 you literally comment on every video I watch, I swear 😂

[@HostileLemons]

illegal alien XD

[@afox5319]

+Wee evilswine "Im edgy and cool wuhu look at me" -15 year old who doesnt know being edgy makes him look stupid

[@HostileLemons]

You do realise it is a tiny minority that does that right? Just leave people be.

[@HostileLemons]

XD im not a furry

[@guguigugu]

what a depressing looking room. literally every detail is horrid.

[@Murtagh653]

i like it

[@OfficiallySanctionedKATG]

Thats the whole point.

[@Forestgravy90]

guguigugu that’s every room in Britain in the 70s

[@monmonstartv5159]

what do you expect for 2 stars?

[@effyleven]

@@OfficiallySanctionedKATG Yes, of course it is the whole point. I am amazed that some people can't SEE it is the whole point!

[@SimplyStatistical]

"Jeremy Clarkson on 2-star hotels" *Category: Autos & Vehicle*

[@samtinkle9076]

Close enough

[@T_Brown256]

just because of clarkson

[@Setrika_4K]

bottom gear

[@azertyaltin36]

Well its still better than new top gear(minus chris harris)

[@michaelbreckshot6589]

Because it's Jeremy Clarkson

[@OhFishyFish]

I was a travelling junior IT engineer many years ago and I can confirm that everything shown here is 100% true.

[@1994CivicGLi]

This man’s vocal chords haven’t changed

[@fatyowls]

Absolutely brilliant, I wish Clarkson would go back to this..

[@christoslowrider7638]

I expected an explosion in the end :D

[@juanblanco16jb]

Same

[@madlad255]

Yeah, same, even though a lightning strike fits better with what he was actually saying.

[@cube4547]

Electricity

[@taz89ful]

I don't understand how people can hate him hes funny

[@MrMcKane]

How has this video got so many views all of a sudden?

[@Kamil_SONE]

MrMcKane CLARKSONNNNNN!

[@MikhaelAhava]

MrMcKane Yeah. This got recommended. Gladly.

[@Konde1]

Recommended for me, enjoyed it though.

[@rayhanathalla]

it's because no one understand the "you're a man, you're alone, you're in the room" joke

[@ulle500]

Yeah, got in my recommended box too. I'm glad it did. KZbin works in mysterious ways

[@Blockio1999]

The jet engine had me crying xD

[@reececollison5101]

Cos it’s just so accurate 😂😂😂

[@sovetski8893]

I have one lol damn thing is from the 60s 😅😅😅

[@marcoragosta7493]

Never knew Clarkson hosted a comedy show. So good!

[@finn488]

this makes me realize why the trio was so much better than the others. the people are more than just car dudes, they are also comedians

[@I.KUchiha]

Even today he’s still successful. His success is so underrated

[@krimsonk-9478]

He is literally one of the most succesful men on the network and well known faces on television, how is he Underrated?

[@MrROTD]

Did they get that set from Fawlty Towers?

[@georgejacob3162]

Funnily enough I've just been watching Fawlty Towers Bloopers on KZbin! In one scene Sybil slams the door so hard in Basil's face that the wall moves and John Cleese improvises with his 'Basil checking the walls' routine!

[@MrROTD]

hehe yep

[@anonUK]

No, the decor is actually uglier and tattier than any of the bedrooms shown in Fawlty Towers.

[@s.sestric9929]

Whatever you do, DON'T MENTION THE WAR!

[@samarvora7185]

@@s.sestric9929 I might have mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.

[@krocialblack]

This is weird to me... I don't see a car...

[@c6drives180]

krocialblack its parked outside

[@alexander1485]

@@c6drives180 you sure? he coulda crashed it and walked a few miles

[@frostyvr9805]

@@alexander1485 he’s not Hammond

[@frostyvr9805]

@Haris Holmes true

[@pushatsinfrared]

The beginning of Jeremy's hammer hitting days we all know and love.

[@adrielsebastian5216]

The one scene where he's hammering in Uganda, Clarkson, after gently hammering parts of the engine: "What's more that's electric here?" May and Hammond: "Not the exhaust manifold!"

[@fordgalaxiefanclub7733]

0:26 someone in the audience saying "OH YOU LIKE THAT???"

[@Synthematix]

Clarkson was the only reason why i watched top gear in the early 90's

[@sk-sm9sh]

I used to think he's funny in my teens and early twenties. Now I think he's just a douchebag. Hammond and May have more integrity and can be funny without being jerks. Clarkson is all about making jokes as a man of privilege position about the stuff that is designed to be affordable by the average people.

[@Shunteration]

"Polished Bishop" hotel. Genious.

[@quizzys7106]

I dont understand

[@Shunteration]

How does the Bishop (the chess piece) look like? Just visualize it.

[@adrielsebastian5216]

@@quizzys7106 I'll give you a hint: It starts with P and rhymes with "acrylic"

[@scenczyk1429]

I love that you can see cigarette smoke billowing up in front of the cameras haha

[@Rogueman666]

KZbin suddenly recommended this to me. I'm not complaining, it's always a pleasure to watch Jeremy Clarkson.

[@arealbigboss]

this is amazingly accurate, even after all these years

[@fatyowls]

Jeremy Clarkson at his best, I wish he'd have gone on to make more of these, really funny!

[@joshbacon8241]

This is from 20 years ago and it still manages to be a good laugh... 😂🤣

[@M3raculus]

“So what do you do to *WHILE* away the time?” This made me laugh a lot more than it should lol

[@johnnyboy3949]

Jezza needs his own sketch type show!!!! This is awesome!

[@EmilFranken]

what he said about those bathroom fans is so true. Starts when you turn on the lights but wont stop when turned off and runs on a timer until sometime around 3am. the lack of ac has at that point contributed to you being sweaty and not being able to sleep. unfortunately now that the fan just stopped you have to go to the toilet andthe procedure repeats ...

[@dbkoobnyc4815]

How was this show cancelled its comedy gold

[@sk-sm9sh]

I guess seeing privileged man making fun out of stuff designed for the average folks with fake audience laugh in the background kind of not longer popular in times when we realized that there is just no way that everyone can be in upper class even if everyone work hard.

[@HSMiyamoto]

In North America, we call that Motel 6. I especially love that inter-room walls in these places are painted bare cinderblock.

[@jdpragmatic8644]

They say a good comedian can make the phone book funny. Clarkson could make a show out of that.

[@motanelustelistu]

I could talk and listen to this man on ABSOLUTELY EVERY SUBJECT and enjoy myself very much :D .

[@zodiac909]

This man is a living legend.

[@cicalinarrot]

This is the first time I see him doing a full comedy bit. This is what he is, not a car journalist, not a politician, not a philosopher.

[@Corristo89]

"Polished Bishop Hotel" xD

[@krispykremes2482]

If Clarkson tried this show again it'd probably be enormously successful.

[@0ctothorp]

That hotel room is huge for a European hotel room.

[@CurmudgeonExtraordinaire]

Those TV sets are a lot bigger than what they are portraying is in real life. It's like when you see these sitcoms that are supposedly based in a NY apartment. They apartment looks roomy even though the person is supposedly on a modest income. The only way anyone could afford an apartment that size in NY is if they were making a *lot* of money.

[@sebby324]

Rule Britainia XD

[@roshansrinivas8729]

it's nostalgic watching this video and thinking about where Jeremy is now. After this, he went on to make TopGear one of the greatest TV shows ever made for 15 years and then he is rocking Amazon prime video with The Grand Tour

[@joermnyc]

A certain member of Top Gear production team failed to watch this... And now we have The Grand Tour.

[@titanuranus3095]

jeremy Clarckson being a traveling salesman explains basically everything about him.

[@Jixaw.]

lol

[@zettafret4881]

yes

[@adhikaseta9502]

ei mr jixaw

[@astrokaizer]

t' n' b' g'

[@alexomeara1202]

Tonite on bottom gear, we go to a -2 star hotel and our organs get stolen by Colombian drug lords

[@SanctuaryADO]

cocainer

[@legolas5684]

Clarkson is the only person whose show I would watch for the rest of my life!

[@KCJbomberFTW]

This is the epitome of British humor

[@jennifersivewright3117]

Wish the whole series was available somewhere. Not sure if I caught sight of it on Amazon, but chargeable

[@stevieboy_438]

I was lucky enough to be in the live audience for this very show!

[@Vanbrusa]

so legendary

[@dipro001]

Accurate today around the world!

[@sillygoose635]

nah.

[@mrman2415]

@@sillygoose635 yeah

[@Triadii]

The jet engine toilet fan was so accurate 😂😂😂

[@nicollestallkamp3655]

2:09 Jeremy hit that fan so hard it shook the wall.

[@ChaseMC215]

Even 2 star hotels have very cheap walls.

[@quillmaurer6563]

I write this from a room the very hotel he describes. Rodeway Inn in Alamosa, Colorado, USA. It had everything, ripped out shower head, room that smells like smoke (despite being "non-smoking"), A/C unit that makes a screaming noise every time it shuts off, un-helpful overworked staff, room with window overlooking the lobby, everything super shoddy. Jet engine in the bathroom exactly as specified here finished it off as being spot-on.

[@theluckydawg2498]

I've watched this about 15 times and it's still funny

[@DevilboyScooby]

That hotel mockup reminds me of the prize VTs in Wheel of Fortune 🤔

[@Halo_Legend]

Even when he was young and skinny, his head was disproportionately huge.

[@Tuneman1984]

I love how at 2:40 the audience already knows where this is going

[@martinshoosterman]

Man, id love to see this guy review more things. Like maybe tech stuff or even cars.

[@hughthompson4846]

This was absolutely brilliant from start to finish

[@aaronbays4]

In a different life I think Clarkson would have been a brilliant stand-up comedian. Probably had his own family style sit-com by the time he was 40, been in lots of movies, etc Had his own chat show, etc. I know he cut his teeth as a "serious" automotive journalist, but I've never thought of him as anything like that, always thought of him as more of a comedian who is a true "petrol-head" as they say in the UK

[@F0X_H0UND]

I agree, the man is natural comedian who just so happens to like cars.

[@UberAlphaSirus]

Gawd, I remember going to a bnb, my room was a down stairs shower box with a SMALL single bed squeezed in. The fucking door was a sliding one. TBF, she done a cracking breakfast.

[@andrewdavies1312]

His show was epic. New should make a new one

[@Cwmbran1984]

The Polished Bishop Hotel 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Twinned with the Bashing Bishop Hotel in Reading 🤣🤣🤣

[@dogbert102010]

I want to open a chain of brothels and name them "The Polished Bishop"

[@NoName-rs4us]

that guy on tv is "the greatest pirate in the wooorllldddd".....😂😂😂😂😂😂 He perfectly matches Clarksons back in the day "in the world" slogan😂

[@southendparaquest]

So now we know where Jezza's obsession with hammers came from

[@theplayer12312]

Channel 5 is usually Jezza with a hammer doing this for 2 hours straight 0:22

[@DevilboyScooby]

My bathroom used to have a fan like that 😆 never realised I lived in a two star hotel.

[@johnjohannesjuan]

This reminds me so much of Top Gear season 2 to 10. I almost started crying watching it.

[@Photosounder]

Now I understand that bit on A Bit of Fry & Laurie about his show.

[@jackpolack3315]

Thumbnail is the og “that’s how mafia works” pose

[@davisdesigns1153]

I've just now realized that Jeremy is basically a stand-up comedian

[@stephenward2743]

Nothing beats the world class 6 star hotel that supreme leader kim jon un constructed for so many to visit when they go on holiday to North Korea...

[@lordinquisitorsec7532]

You mean the hotel with hard labour?

[@hitrecordsam]

Never thought I'd see Evan Stone & Jeremy Clarkson in the same clip. Talk about 2 worlds colliding. Thank you internet

[@stephencrompton4352]

the jet engine killed me

[@blax140]

was it open casket or closed?

[@oddities-whatnot]

Often been to guest houses where they give you a massive keyring which wont fit in my pocket, hence having the missus with you to put it in her handbag.

[@andrijastefanovic726]

2:08 Clarkson Destroyed Harriers

[@CrashHeadroom]

This show was amazing, "Mister Health and Safety" still cracks me up.