Jessa Duggar's Selfish & Mean Behavior Ruined Her Relationship with Jana Duggar

[@swiftgrill2324]

Jessa has always given off that “mean girls” vibe to me. Jinger is her puppet

[@leximarie1751]

This>>>

[@foofookachoo1136]

Yes- I’ve always wondered WHY Jinger wanted to be besties with Jessa!! Never could figure that out!! Apparently Jinger has always seen something in Jessa that she likes, but don’t know why!! It must be hidden!!! Jinger had always seemed like a nice, good girl, but brings she is real close to Jessa, it makes me think Jinger might not be as nice as I think!!! ( Beings they are besties) !!! And yes I think Jess has used Jinger for selfish reasons!! Apparently When they were growing up, Jill probably didn’t side with Jessa!!! I think Jill might have been caught in the middle of scraubles, and stayed neutral in situations!!

[@anegron3285]

Jinger is probably like me. I have a sister who when I was little I did everything she say. And now I have a struggle open to her. I don't feel like we have sister bond at all. But I pretend. I am very quite and shy and I don't know how to open up. And seems like jinger is the same way.

[@vernamorales2064]

@@anegron3285 My only sister whom happens to be younger has always been extra.I really don't have a relationship with her.

[@katiejohnston988]

Yeah, I’m starting to think the same thing. It always sort of seemed like Jill & Jana were one team and Jessa & Jinger were the other team or something. I get it Jill & Jana are closer in age and Jessa & Jinger are closer in age, which would explain why it is this way. But something just kinda always seemed a bit off to me about it too. When I was younger, I actually got it wrong. I originally thought Jessa & Jinger were the more down-to-earth sisters who would go out and do their own things. Jana & Jill always seemed a little more timid and like they would just follow in their parents footsteps. However it seems like the tables really are turning now, especially for Jill who has really become more of her own person. I actually feel so bad for poor Jana. It’s like she has no freedom whatsoever and is just her parent’s slave or something. She’s a 31 year old woman who is almost made feel like the forever older sister or baby-sitter in her family. I always thought Jessa seemed kind of rebellious, but did not think much more of it until now. They said she was kinda a tough kid growing up who was stubborn and headstrong. At first, I actually thought it was maybe good she was like that since I thought it meant she would break free from the family easier. However, it seems like that little “rebel” streak of Jessa’s may, in fact, be a “mean” streak after all. 🤨

[@SoCalJellybean]

You can tell when Jessa recounts these stories, she’s still quite proud of what she did to Jana... that’s called duping delight in body language circles; you’re saying one thing, but you can’t help the smirk on your face that leaks out. Ugh. 😒

[@jamiemuller3570]

She smirks and always looks so smug like Josh does and it makes me sick

[@vickimorgan2961]

Jessa is mean spirited. Saw a clip when she was younger and literally knocked one of her brothers off a stool because she wanted to sit on it. Never have cared for Jessa. She is too much like Jim Bob to like.

[@emmylou-y4b]

I remember reading something years ago about Michele making Jana overlook the way Jessa was treating her. The Duggars know how to make babies but they sure don't know how to raise their children. I'm so glad Jill broke away from this insanity and I say this as a Christian.

[@christiejensen1606]

More or less all of the Duggar kids have raised themselves. None of the daughters were taught the word no or boundaries. JB and Michelle had a baby making factory going they never RAISED their kids. Of course in order for the parents to understand the needs of their kids they have understand the needs of themselves. An example of this would be we have four kids no more.

[@kimma508]

JB and Michelle let the older girls raise the kids. These 2 have no parenting skills and were only good at making babies.

[@christiejensen1606]

@@kimma508 exactly

[@saulithyia]

I always got the feeling that Jessa and Ben just had more of a lust than love relationship. I remember watching during their courtship days, when Ben moved onto the property, and I was thinking that, there's no way they WEREN'T sneaking off sometimes for some "front-hugging" time. They just never seemed like they had any deeper connection. Then again, Ben always seemed rather "lost" in life, as in, he never seemed to really have direction or any drive to do anything particular. Jessa is definitely the ruler of her little family. They may practice some of the teachings of the IBLP, but I bet if Jessa tells Ben to jump, he's going ask how high.

[@DarkHairedCurlyOne]

Yes!!!! She loved being wanted and he loved getting what he wanted

[@coollollipop1]

I agree that because of such rules they have about anything physical until married that was was a big problem for them. Maybe if they had some physical contact not sex , Ben would have realized he was not in love with her. She is one of the most annoying of all the Duggars, along with the oldest brother and his wife. Anne comes across as so submissive it almost reeks of the Handmaids Tales. Anne scares me how submissive she is , it is IMO very abnormal.

[@sonyafox3271]

Well, it’s like Jessa wears the pants in her relationship/ marriage to Ben. But, Ben is not exactly a prize winner.

[@nashvilletljc5904]

Do u remember when Jim Bob asked Ben if he wanted to move on the property to be closer & help him out. I’ll never forget this, his answer was, yeah- let me pray about it & talk to my parents. Any other boy that age would have said yes in a New York minute. So, I personally don’t think he was doing any front hugging. Sad. When Joesph was getting wedding shower pictures w/ Kendra, the photographer asked him to put his hand on her hip, & he said - I don’t feel comfortable doing that. No front hugs for this family. Now the Bates- yes, front hugs for sure.

[@saulithyia]

@@nashvilletljc5904 Sadly, that scene was most likely heavily edited for the show. I don't really trust their "words". But I was looking mostly at their expressions and mannerisms. If you watched Jill and Derrick during their courtship, when they were actually together, you could tell they had a much deeper connection. When they looked at each other, there was more pause, more intensive unspoken appreciation and adoration. With Jessa and Ben, I never got a sense of that. Their looks were more aggressive desire, fiery, playful teasing.

[@montyollie]

I think the word "naughty" is an AWFUL term to describe the bully Jessa was/is. Call a spade a spade. A bitchy nasty bully is not "naughty". That's like saying Josh is naughty.

[@HNA6663]

THANK YOU 👏

[@cateharding]

😆👍

[@mel11956]

Absolutely!

[@cynthiaburns5071]

Yes I totally agree with you!

[@swiftgrill2324]

THIS!

[@megankools18]

I think deep down Jessa resents Jana because she was the one who played mom to her. Instead of being upset with her mom for not being there, she’s projected all the anger in her sister. It also seems that Jimbob has a special hold on Jessa... no wonder she’s miserable. I think her neuroticism with her kids is just a manifestation of having no control of her own life. She can’t control her life, but she can control if her kids get dirty or not.

[@Aly-hu4zw]

And Josh didnt bother Jana.

[@allisonjohnson6399]

I thought JimBob was gonna just flat out kiss Jessa on the lips at her wedding special....he couldn't stop complimenting her and looking at her....and made all sorts of comments about Ben's mom, how great she was. Just felt super icky, especially since Jessa looked uncomfortable and tried to play it off.

[@Katielady329]

It’s definitely because Jana had to become mom. Siblings who are forced to take on a parental role bear the brunt of all kinds of adolescent/child angst that is usually directed at an adult

[@foofookachoo1136]

I just don’t feel that is the reason!! I think there was and is a personality clash on Jessa’s part, and I also think Jessa was and is jealous of Jana because she is so talented and creative in so many things!!!

[@CatchingPieces]

Thank you!!! So many of these replies are breaking my heart... Jessa was a traumatized child who wanted her parents to take care of her and resented Jana for not being her real mom. Good grief. She's not a monster.

[@gracelikerain87]

When Jesse says they don’t get along, I don’t think that’s fair towards Jana. Jana wasn’t the problem. Jana was the victim of HER selfishness. To imply that Jana doesn’t get along isn’t a fair or correct statement. There is definitely a jealousy there, and Jessa may not even be conscious of where her feelings are even coming from. Jana, poor thing, is NOT the problem.

[@PrairieeGirl]

I agree. She seems jealous, probably because she felt deprived of enough attention. Hopefully she'll reevaluate the reality of having as many kids as her parents.

[@foofookachoo1136]

U are absolutely right!!! Jessa still isn’t taking the entire blame, I think , because she just can’t be honest about herself!! She’s still got much , much more to work on concerning her selfish self!! I hope she gets there, but don’t know if she will!!

[@biancacox8630]

Jessica needs therapy and she needs to heal only then can she truly seek forgiveness from Jana fir the way she treated her....Jana needs therapy because she may have survivors guilt because she wasn’t touched by Josh!! The entire family needs therapy actually ...it’s a hot freaking MESS that’s for sure !

[@quinoasongs2507]

I get how Jana felt, being a firstborn myself. Me giving my sister the most precious possession, I can't imagine that would've helped, though if it did for Jessa and Jana, bless them. But the fact that the public knows all about it, then maybe that's Jessa's real punishment? Or that her kids likely will find out about it by reading it?

[@vernamorales2064]

@@foofookachoo1136 Plus Jessa blamed raging hormones on what her brother did !! That girl is off the meat rack

[@cambilynn1172]

Jessa seems like a controlling person, like her father. That’s probably why she “chose” Ben. She’s seems very domineering, and what she says goes. She comes across cold and very snarky. Extremely judgmental. Just not a nice person at all. I don’t think she really cares she hurt Jana, or continues to hurt her. She seems to revel in being nasty to other people. If it’s not about her, or her calling the shots, then she’s out.

[@Ladie_Paige]

Completely agree with you 💯 Couldn't have said it better. I've never liked Jessa. You can see the delight she gets from being mean, snarky and controlling. She enjoys being a bi+#%.....

[@reginaswanson817]

👍

[@rachaelkopp3792]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼100%👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@brownbearjamboree3087]

Yes. And watching Jessa talk about her issues with Jana, she seems to revel in it. She smiles and gets a twinkle in her eye. Have any of you thought the same thing?

[@cambilynn1172]

@@brownbearjamboree3087 Yes!!! She does get a twinkle in her eye! She likes to get that last dog in. And you can tell in Jana’s eyes, that it does hurt her. She can’t tell her to F off or stop, because her parents didn’t raise them to have a voice. Especially when someone hurts you. Her parents made it very clear that it’s ok for people to hurt you, you have to forgive them. Obviously the whole Josh thing 🙄 He, & his loving parents should be in jail. So passive aggressive.

[@hS-nt6pr]

I feel like Jessa always forms relationships with submissive personalities. Ben is a very sweet and gentle man, so makes sense she wanted him as a partner. Ginger is also more of a softer, gentler type and they buddied up so she could be the leader. Jana was one of the ones that didn’t follow her lead so Jessa saw her as a challenge. Honestly though as a kid she was probably just neglected from the amount of attention she needed from her parents and was acting out.

[@foofookachoo1136]

I think u v got it figured out!!! I never thought that Jana just didn’t want to fall in line with Jess!!! But that could be one of the reasons they didn’t get along!! I also think Jessa was and is jealous of was all of Jana’s talents and her “kind of”” carefree life she leads!! Compared with Jess being tied down with husband, a lot of kids, and too small of house!!!

[@sarahreinhart126]

I don’t understand the mean comments towards Jessa’s personality and looks. She has grown up on TV likely without her true consent. She might have needed behavioral health support as a toddler but her parents were too focused on procreating to notice or get her proper support. She is a victim of the fundie cult as much as Jill and the rest of the siblings. My heart goes out to all the Duggar daughters.

[@rebeccaorlando9815]

I agree completely. I blame Katie for making this video. It is crossing a line. We all acted out when we were younger. People on here acting like they never purposefully annoyed their siblings at kids. Can't even with this attitude. ETA: I don't know if Jessa is a good person or not, but to pick on stuff she did when she was a kid is ridiculous.

[@arinzykes5715]

Just because she grew up on TV doesn’t give her an excuse to be mean, selfish, arrogant and so vain. All the other girls grew up on TV and they’re not jerks. I would excuse any other behavioral issues (grumpiness, over sensitivity, moodiness, etc) but meanness is inexcusable. I know people who are schizophrenic and think the flower pots are talking to them and even THEY can muster up the ability to not be mean, so growing up on TV is no excuse. I’m so tired of Jessa’s vanity and mean girl attitude and how she snarling claps back at fans who say anything that might even slightly call into question her superiority. Nine of the other girls do this.

[@jodiuhron1979]

I kinda do understand the comments about Jessa. It’s not being “mean” to her… it’s calling a spade a spade. She was mean to Jana and took pleasure in doing so. That’s not being mean to Jessa… that’s stating facts. She wasn’t nice to her. She doesn’t come off as remorseful about it either. It’s a shame that Jana was taught to be docile because as the older sister, I would’ve asserted my authority.

[@dandyirishplay]

Re: her resentment toward Jana...maybe because Jana has skills beyond motherhood and delegation?

[@biancacox8630]

You have a point ...but the resentment happened way before Jana developed those skills ...she was probably jealous of Jana and Jill’s relationship and as the youngest girl prior to Jinger beinb burn may have felt left out ...then the abuse happened 🤔🤔🤔I wonder the time line of when the abuse actually started and when the poor behavior started 🤔

[@kimma508]

Jana realized there is more to life than being a baby making machine.

[@rosilla802]

One of the subscribers once called her "Jessa Agressa". That person totally nailed it, fits her in a nutshell! Jessa Seewald, pretty on the outside, not so much on the inside.

[@melissa2688]

Jessa has always given off a 'Mean Girl' vibe to me. If she was allowed to go to mainstream HS, she would've been in the pretty people clique and wearing pink on Wednesdays 💗

[@mel11956]

Very bully-ish.

[@curtistinescott2452]

I remember her not being very nice to the little kids, I never cared for her personality. Maybe that’s why I don’t care for her now, she just seems to be mean spirited.

[@anonamasnoname9098]

I've seen only bits of 2 or 3 vlogs but of that was Jana was pushing the smaller kids and right off I did not care for her

[@CatchingPieces]

I don't think this video, the comments below, or even Jessa's own characterization are fair to the child that Jessa was. She was only 13 months old when Jinger was born... only 4 months old when Michelle got pregnant again! She wasn't a bad child being mean because there was just meanness and badness inside of her... she wanted ATTENTION. She wanted the attention that little kids are supposed to get from their parents. But we all know that Michelle drops her kids like a rock when the next baby comes along, and for Jessa, she was especially young when this happened. Why Jana? I bet it was because Jana took on a lot of parenting duties of Jessa when Jinger was born, and Jessa resented her for not being her real mom. Jessa speaks poorly of herself as a child because she was raised in a cult where wanting anything, especially something as "vain" and "self-centered" as *attention*, is an unforgivable crime. She was brainwashed; we're not. We should be kinder to her than the cult is. (And before anyone comes in with this... no, I'm not excusing the way she made Jana feel. Jana was a child too, and none of it was her fault, and she deserved better. Jessa did hurt her and should make amends for that. But her narrative of "I was terrible and then Jesus fixed me" is flawed and unfair, and so is the narrative I see in a lot of comments that she's just a b*tch. She is a traumatized young woman who was a traumatized and neglected child.

[@rainbowgirlism]

Good point.

[@tanyaphilstrom7077]

Wow! That was brilliant insight! I think your right on the nail.

[@Floatingaccidentallike]

That maybe partly true, but she still has that about her..look at her post .

[@candyjohnson3302]

They’re freaks. Every of of them are. The spawn could leave the cult if they wanted to.

[@lissetg8121]

Jessa also was some type of way with Jill because she was the goody two shoes. I feel that she resented Jana and Jill because they were the good girls and the role models to the rest

[@adventuresofkatekat]

Exactly! Everyone seems to forget that Jill used to be the golden child

[@saraaaa8642]

Jessa agressa is always jealous. She thinks the world revolves around her and gets mad when she finds out that Productive Jana doesn't have time to pay attention to her clout chaser tactics.

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

Omg, I've never heard "Jessa Agressa"

[@2222bearbear]

Omg not the rhyming 😂😂😂

[@TanyaJo]

😂

[@Ladie_Paige]

I love that, "Jessa Agressa!" It suits her perfectly. Lol 🤣

[@innocentnemesis3519]

Jessa Agressa 😭

[@murphysmommy]

Jessa and her monotone voice and dead eyes is creepy. She chose Ben so she could wear the pants in the relationship. She's just like her father. Ugh.

[@biancacox8630]

She does not actually wear the pants I’m their relationship you need to watch closer

[@chocolatechipcookieface3668]

@@biancacox8630 actually she does o pay very close attention

[@joemcleary]

@@biancacox8630 Agree to disagree. She's in charge, not Ben.

[@CatchingPieces]

Flat affect is a common symptom of trauma.

[@cynthiaburns5071]

Yes I agree!

[@PrairieeGirl]

I remember a few of the boys saying she was mean to them when they were little. Jana seems so sweet, how can Jessa still have "issues" with her as an adult. In the non-religious world you would call her a bi%ch. Ben seems like a passive guy..it's no wonder she chose a guy like that. She needs to control. Also, that's one of the issues of having so many kids, Michelle could not possibly protect the other kids from her. She was a bully.

[@nobody8328]

"Don't mess with Jess."

[@Libra8410]

That's what I was thinking...why would they still have issues? Jessa is married with a family. All of that should've been resolved by now

[@foofookachoo1136]

@@Libra8410 Probably because Jessa just can’t change!! She is who she is!!! And being a Christian, I think she’s trued to change, but something like your personality is a hard thing to change!!! Not making excuses, just being real!!!

[@biancacox8630]

Yep ...”BULLY” is the right word for it! But what do they say about bullies ??? They are the weakest of humans not strongest .....It’s sad really because she probably doesn’t believe all the crap her parents believe in but she is constantly trying to seek their approval and that’s another reason she probably stays on their coat tail

[@nobody8328]

@@biancacox8630 Bully is a polite word for her behavior... I do have one miniscule iota of sympathy for Jessa, though. As an adult, she certainly has the ability to live her own life, but we see how hard that has been for Jill. It's really hard to break away from a lifetime of conditioning. Also... very early on in 17 kids and counting, JB and Michelle did one of those couch interviews and commented that Jessa had been a "difficult" child. They "had heard" (from Michael and Debbie Pearl, no doubt) that "you have to break a strong willed child" and they will use that will for god, or whatever. Yeah, "break" the child's will.

[@jillduggar207]

Jessa was so meek to Ben during their courtship and engagment. The minute they got married she wanted to break the submissive role and try to be the one wearing the pants in the realationship and Ben became the meek and queit one.

[@Ladie_Paige]

Yes! And it worked. She does wear the pants and Ben has become her adult child. It's her way or the highway. I also think she's a very jealous person and that makes her act condescending and bossy towards her siblings. She's about to have 4 kids and she still lives in a shack compared to what Jill was given when she only had one child. That had to have "burned" 🌋 pretty bad. Then she has younger sisters who seem to be doing alot better in the home and finance depts as well, like Jinger and Joy. JMO 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@jillduggar207]

@@Ladie_Paige You are very correct. I couldn't agree more. She is an attention seeker 100%

[@lissetg8121]

This is so true

[@princeedward9787]

Ben is a closet case and Jessa knows it and controls everything in that "marriage" it is NOT ok to be gay in their cult like world. Poor Ben is trapped imo

[@lizschuller6894]

Please you knock the women down for being meek and yet when one shows a little back bone you attack her as well. what the F do you want "ya'll" honestly so good if she wears the pants!

[@monicajohnston8364]

Back in the early days of the show. I always expected Jessa to be the first daughter to buck the system and leave home, go to college, get a boyfriend, and live a more normal life. She just seemed so irritated by all the rules and her dislike of Jana seemed like she was annoyed by what an obedient goody-two-shoes she was. It made sense to me that she was close to Jinger, who was more rebellious when they were kids too. When everyone in the Duggar snark forums was saying "Free Jinger!" I insisted "Nope, Jessa is going to surprise everybody and leave Arkansas the minute she turns 18..." So I was a bit shocked that she stayed and got married and started squeezing out babies. I do think Ben was a more unconventional choice, since he's not IBLP royalty. I think she likes that he's mild-mannered and she's able to push him around. I don't get the vibe that he's the head of that household at all.

[@mini-mum253]

The 'stinkin' advice Jana got, to gave Jessa the most valuable thing Jana possessed, is off the charts. It will only empowers the bully, in Jessa's wrinkled mind she has won. So I don't think it stopped there, she might stayed on the same toxic behavior, or worsened, thinking what wil I get next. Hoping for Jana that she will find peace soon, proud of her for standing her ground by not marrying the first who came along.

[@likelynicole]

Jinger and Jessa just look like the worlds meanest girls in this clip where Jana is trying to share her sweet story... how freakin pathetic, they can’t even find a kind face to fake in the moment.

[@candaceion9622]

With what they went through as children, it is no wonder that they acted out. Jana clammed up and became very passive, and Jessa became the controller?

[@Ladie_Paige]

I think it's in her nature to be controlling and bossy. In the one on one interviews almost every sibling, esp the boys, have said that Jessa has been that way her whole life.

[@biancacox8630]

Jana clammed up because her parents MADE her!! She was very outgoing as a child and assertive and her parents didn’t like that and sent her to that IBLP camp for troubled kids and she came back submissive😓

[@bflogal18]

Jessa is driving the “Counting On” ship. She feels the need to control the narrative and keep the focus on herself. I assume this is because: 1. She’s just like her daddy and 2. If the show gets cancelled, she and her husband may need to get real jobs. I’m not sure that Ben would be able to support their ever growing family.

[@amieagee3965]

Exactly, they would have no income

[@rosannecole4992]

Jessa woulnt want Ben to work outside the home then she couldn't control or watch over him..

[@DarkHairedCurlyOne]

Are we surprised by any of this? I'm not. Jessa always had this air about her, where it was her way or the highway.

[@kimma508]

I never liked Jessa. She comes off very cold and there is something off putting about the looks she gives people.

[@vegasgirl3538]

Ben looks so miserable. I give it another five years before he goes out for milk one night and never comes back.

[@julieklie2344]

statistically,there are so many of them, it would be a miracle if at least one didn’t get a divorce.

[@usnaviartstudio1791]

Facts

[@sonyafox3271]

I don’t know this is Ben, and he’s not such a bright bulb. No, one ☝️ would really want much to do with Ben, after all Ben has no back bone, what so ever. Remember, Ben didn’t do much of nothing for a long time. He got with Jessa because, he knows each month she gets a hand out from Daddy Duggar and Ben, liked that idea, remember it was daddy Duggar that had put Ben to work when, he moved to Arkansas for Jessa right before they got married. Well, something must have went wrong there to cause, he apparently didn’t work for Daddy Duggar that long.

[@biancacox8630]

@@sonyafox3271 ...I don’t agree with you about Ben ...Jessa knew going into the marriage that he had full intentions of attending college ...AND the reality TV programs has a way of portraying people to look the way they want them to look ....

[@sarahduhay5150]

I sure hope not for the kids sake. At least they should work at it.

[@lailamichelle3810]

I believe Jessa is deeply depressed and probably has a lot of anxiety too. I think that’s why she comes off a bit cold. I hope she can get some professional help.

[@taylor1598]

She is apologizing for being a kid and a sibling?!?! Siblings fight and get on each other’s nerves....it’s pretty normal. She probably wanted attention since, mama was always pregnant and was too busy with the current baby or being joyfully available for JB.

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

I know.

[@karyndewit193]

Lol

[@bethany1ella2]

Right. Kids act out like that for attention

[@PrairieeGirl]

True. But the others went through what she did too. And they apparently weren't mean to each other because of it.

[@biancacox8630]

YES!!! Mana was ALWAYS PREGERRS !!! She never got the attention she needed as a child !!

[@faithfletcher8740]

I think the feud between Jessa, Jana, and Jill has everything to do with Josh. Jana was the one that was not abused and Jill was the one that told on Josh as a kid and the one that has outed how the family really is. Jessa just wants everything to look like it never happened.

[@cwayzums]

Jessa’s the narcissistic golden child in the family. Jana has always given her supply and nobody is allowed to talk crap about her parents. Ben looks very much controlled as well.

[@powderandpaint14]

I think the problem was that Jana was forced into the mothering role and Jessa resented that. The only way for Jessa to get attention from her parents was tp annoy Jana.

[@jamiemuller3570]

100%!

[@cynthiaburns5071]

When I saw how Jessa treated her family on the beach trip they went on I was like WOW she is so controlling! I saw Ben making a face when she said the kids could not have a certain flavor because it would stain the clothes they were wearing. I know he wanted to let them have that flavor but of course Jessa won!

[@withlove9494]

Honestly I feel like some of their marriage issues might even be fixed simply by moving and getting some personal space. If either of them is an introvert it has to drive them crazy living in that tiny house.

[@isabelle8836]

Jessa needed attenton from her Mom who was busying giving the current baby all the care while her "parent" is her sister. She was just being annoying little sister to Jana. Her Mom barely cared for her children.

[@janetkorsak9314]

You know, I agree with you Isabelle. I always thought a family this large had to have some serious issues. It really seems to effect them now as adults. The parents never gave a thought to their older children who are expected to become “ parents” gp the younger kids.

[@mel11956]

It seems she was a brat as a child and still is as an adult. Never cared for her. They should have named her Jim Bob Jr. Because she is a mini JB. That is not a compliment either.

[@mel11956]

Isn't this pretty typical behavior for this cult. It is obvious this family, esp the parents, do not practice what they preach. They are Horrible examples of Christianity. There is nothing right about these two parents allowing a disobedient child to abuse a sibling! NOTHING!

[@trinkaaaaaaa7561]

I think Jessa is aware she’s the most conventionally attractive child they have. Being the prettiest / most good looking can certainly lead to narcissism. I think she believes if she’s daddy’s perfect little girl then she wins.

[@peggybarnhart4145]

I don't think she's the prettiest of the girls. Joy Anna and Jana are beautiful.

[@CrystalM1917]

I agree she has model-level bone structure, which sets her apart from all her sisters. Jana is next then Jinger, Jill, Joy Anna.

[@lonebluestar65]

Hunger and Joy Anna are prettier than Jessa.

[@pagemeredith4532]

I think Jinger's the pretty one.

[@Floatingaccidentallike]

Ehh... I think they are all gorgeous. Jessa has big lips..that is her beauty trademark. She is definitely Jim Bob 2.0. Ben was not raised like them, so if pushed to no end, no doubt would leave. Other than that, they are all so pretty. Jill is beautiful..and the smartest to me.

[@PaganღHeart]

I think that Jessa is utterly self-absorbed & self-centred. I don't believe this is about "making amends" but keeping the attention on herself - whether this is positive or negative. Narcs (like JB & Jessa) are usually very unhappy people who struggle with feeling thankful - for anything. They find it almost impossible to feel the "joy", which is clearly shown in Jessa's face every time she is not front & centre. Jessa needed strong leadership/direction, which she did not receive from either parent, instead, Michelle put pressure on Jana to "gift" that jewellery box to Jessa to make *her* life easier - it's far easier to give in than correct. I felt so sad for Jana (who has always seemed such a sweet girl to me) & I believe she has a really good heart, while Michelle & Jessa struggle in being kind & compassionate.

[@lorisalou]

Seems that Jessa Isn't so blessed. I'm thinking that Jessa is jealous of Jana . Jessa must be going nuts with the 3 small kids and another on the way.. she is stuck. Getting married so young sounds great but it's not like playing house. And jana gets to mostly do her own thing.

[@crm5514]

Jessa and Ben haven’t been the same every since they found out they were expecting baby 2 you can see in the interview how Ben is. Ben’s sisters drifted away from like the way the Duggar’s are.

[@BC_Mina]

Jessa's snotty disposition is why I always thought she would be the one to break away. The IBLP beliefs are not supportive of a personality like hers, and I expected her to be "selfish" (by IBLP standards) enough to break away from that. Also, I feel like Ben is very passive. Which is perfect for her personality.

[@tiffany866]

I've never been this early. Love the constant content! I have no clue when you sleep it seems like you are always giving us updates.

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

You're the best!

[@kimma508]

@@WithoutACrystalBall I agree! You are like the Energizer Bunny!

[@MarissaSmith20]

Jessa seems beaten down to me, like her parents wore down her spirit. Because while she seems kind of not that nice she also seems smart and capable and independent and you know the Duggar’s would try to squash that.

[@marinamerry1675]

Jessa is the Regina George of the family and Jana is the Cady Heron

[@abbywebb2822]

I think she feels joy in making a lot of people feel good. I think she is insecure and needs to put others down and or being mean to others to make herself feel better about herself

[@giabarrone7422]

Jana reportedly not being targeted by Josh is a logical reason. Maybe Jessa felt she should have protected her as the oldest, or wanted her to feel more pain like the rest of them. Or maybe Jana is the one that told on Josh and things just got worse? Who knows. Whatever the reason, Jessa doesn't exhibit the normal range of human emotion. I think JB might have given them the worst house because she is a girl. The whole point of marrying off your daughter in fundie world is that you don't have to support them anymore, right? Jeremy and Austin bought their own homes, right?

[@v8mom]

Janna still looked beautiful. That color looked so nice on her.

[@jenniferthorndyke7379]

Jessa is so bossy! Cannot stand her! Her dude has no voice and is her 4th child... or 5th?

[@2manybooks2littletime25]

It was once said that Jessa was the most beautiful of all the girls and young women in the family, but that she could be the most cruel. I often wondered what was meant by "cruel". This sheds a little light on it.

[@usnaviartstudio1791]

She is 100 percent mean girl. Jana..basically loves her but with conditions. Ugh.

[@ninavalls1028]

Jessa is like the female version of Jim Bob

[@dorothypowell9882]

Jessa is a Scorpio. I think anyone into astrology would maybe think it explains a lot about her.

[@Lilytigers]

I love Scorpios

[@Andrea-mg9py]

We don’t really know how bad the SA was. We only know how the Duggar’s explained it and they seem to have played it down to a ‘boy’s curiosity’ and ‘kids stuff’. But we know from the women who Josh hooked up with in Ashley Maddison that Josh likes to be sexually rough with women. How far did he really go with his sisters and did he hurt them physically as well as mentally?

[@priscillaribeiro1988]

I think the reason why Jessa picked on Jana is because she is very self-centered and conceited I feel like she always looked at herself as the prettier sister and Jana is also beautiful so I think there was a little bit of jealousy there also Jana and Jessa have very strong personalities where they like to take control so I think they clashed in that way and I think that Jessa was always jealous of Jana for all the things that she was good at because Jana is a woman of all trades and she’s very smart and can do many things and I think Jessica was jealous of that and that’s why they don’t get along in my opinion

[@rainbowgirlism]

They were (are? -haven’t seen the younger ones in a while) the two prettiest...Jesse the catch your eye immediately one, and Jana the classically beautiful one, so yeah, you’re on to something.

[@N0laKevO]

She always did kinda give me the feeling of being uptight

[@nikkyro03]

I think you misspelled B!+@hy

[@cwayzums]

@@nikkyro03 Right on, sistah. She always came off as a little miss perfect-good-two-shoes-tattle-tale-bossy.

[@HNA6663]

I have ALWAYS thought Jessa was the most uptight, sanctimonious, and YES BITCHY 👏

[@sonyafox3271]

I been, actually waiting on this! I have been sensing there was tension between Jessa and Jenna but, I couldn’t exactly figure it out. So, thank you Katie for the information on this.

[@Musicsports]

Jessa seems to be a leader. She isn’t going to be pushed around or dominated, no matter what the church expects. Not a bad thing.

[@ameliafroehlich2577]

She's always struck me as a cold fish.

[@tracytuten5116]

I think Jessa married Ben #1 to get away from her controlling parents and #2 because she's the boss in that relationship. Ben seems like a follower not a leader.

[@kristywebb3471]

Jana may not have liked the dresses but she looked beautiful in it. It's a shame that Jana can't just run away from home.

[@julieklie2344]

She can! Run Jana! Run!

[@kristywebb3471]

@@julieklie2344 lol

[@foofookachoo1136]

@@julieklie2344 Yes- Run like the wind , and DONT LOOK BACK!!!

[@christiejensen1606]

Jessa comes across as extremely narcissistic, mean and cold. If she can’t control you by some type of nasty move she will tell on you. This type of personality comes from if you have been brainwashed and some really nasty traumatic event happened to her. She might have disassociated herself so much she has no feelings towards anybody but herself. Jinger is a sweet person but is extremely fragile so she needs someone to tell her to blink. Jessa more than likely bossed Jinger around when they were little. Jinger married Jeremy so he would boss h were around.

[@meganl9573]

some of this feels like jessa is a normal girl and made to feel like she was terrible because she wasn’t sweet and submissive like the other girls

[@catherinewest6378]

They didn’t get along because Jana was the “leader,” and Jessa wanted to be in charge, so they conflicted. Their personalities are similar in being no-nonsense and opinionated.

[@Lilytigers]

They very similar. Honestly Jessa , Jana and Joy are the strongest sisters I think . They all have strong personalities

[@mrssmith3051]

I think Jessa was very lucky that a handsome young man showed interest in her and she took it to get out definitely! I also think that her and Jana have completely different personalities which make them clash, they just have to learn to love each other for who they are and they will probably never have a close relationship, thats just the way some sibling relationships are.

[@jessicacantrell9847]

It may have something to do with the fact Josh didn't mess with Jana. Maybe she wishes she was the oldest girl so it wouldn't have happened to her.

[@pinkiesue849]

People say nothing was done to Jana, but we don't know that for sure.

[@rosilla802]

@@pinkiesue849 I agree. May not have been Josh, but I think something of an SA nature happened to Jana also.

[@pinkiesue849]

@@rosilla802 Its strange that a repeat perp like golden boy left any of the girls out.

[@rosilla802]

@@pinkiesue849 Jana always had John David to protect her, so I think maybe it was an adult male. Only speculating on my part.

[@pinkiesue849]

@@rosilla802 Rosanne, most of this is speculation, even the police report May not be the whole truth. So Josh pulled stunts & he got sent off to camp?

[@Kwd123]

I feel like the younger kids are marrying more within the cult... I wonder if they are less lax about allowing marriage outside the cult now because of the issues with Derrick and Jeremy...?

[@dawn94762030]

i feel the same way. I think they also choosing more well off families within the cult. And families that are maybe lessor known to fundie followers online.

[@Daman-zi1bi]

This is just a theory but I feel like younger siblings do not experience the same strictness as older siblings do so they have less resentment and anger towards their upbringing and so are more likely to stay because they likely don’t have the same trauma

[@CatchingPieces]

I think it's gender more than age. The boys are marrying in the cult because it's a great deal for them. The girls got as much out as Jim Bob would let them.

[@donnakillewald9151]

Jessa always seems cold, judgmental, and opinionated. I see the person I was, when I was young, in her. Jealous, angry, and demanding. I’m was a miserable person in those days, and I have changed my ways. Maybe Jessa will see her true self, in the mirror, someday.

[@kimma508]

I totally agree with you!

[@Lisangel74]

One of my sister's hated me. From the moment I was born. It doesn't mean either of us was bad or totally in the wrong, we just never liked each other. As an adult I came to terms with that. In the fundie world though it seems like you're expected to unreservedly love and like all your family and reality just doesn't necessarily work out that way. As far as the house I think in the beginning it was the starter marriage house, Josh and Anna had it before Jessa and Ben but for some reason, probably control, JB didn't move on from that with them. I expected, years ago, for Jessa to be given a bigger house as other siblings married and she had more kids. Part of that might be because Jinger and Joy didn't need dad to provide a house, Jill publicly moved on from them despite the house they tried to bribe her with and the boys have either stayed living at home or provided their own homes as they've gotten married. I was surprised that John David and Abbie weren't given Jessa's house and Jessa given a bigger one because they are living in a trailer I believe (no hate on trailers, I can just see JB looking down on them) but I don't feel like JD has a great relationship with his parents anymore. They don't seem to be as in to Abbie, maybe because she's educated and had a career and is/was more independent, and maybe because JD has seemingly never fallen into the family line of Josh is the golden child after everything came out. In any case Jessa does need a bigger home and she is essentially the family spokesperson so she's earned it imo.

[@nobody8328]

I wonder about that stuff, too. Jessa has been toeing the family line and saying all the right things, surely she should get a more suitable home? I know jimbob is cheap, but yeesh. John David is a whole different mystery. He was 27 when he and Abbie married. Idk what he does for a living, but he's got a private pilot's license and his own small plane, so he's not broke. There's no way that they don't have any other option than the trailer. Maybe they are just enjoying each other NOT living with a whole passel of people? That's got to be like culture shock at first!

[@foofookachoo1136]

@@nobody8328 Doesn’t John have 3 kids now?? Or am I mistaken? If he does, how can they all stay in the trailer?? They might have enough bedrooms, but kids have to have room to play, and u have things other things for them that take up quite a bit of room!!

[@biancacox8630]

I think John and Abbie are only in that trailer temporarily while their home is being built ....Jana is probably really pissed because their dad gave Jill and Derrick 2 HUGE homes to live in 😱😱😱

[@nobody8328]

@@foofookachoo1136 John David and Abbie only have one daughter so far, whose name escapes me atm. She is still pretty young too, 12- 16 months, I think? You're probably thinking of Jessa and Ben with their three kids in that teeny tiny lil 2 br that the oldest son was given when he married Anna. I hope that house has a big yard, I don't even want to try to imagine two toddlers running around while the baby is learning to crawl! And we all know that Jessa hates to clean...

[@nobody8328]

@@biancacox8630 I'm positive that they are in the trailer by choice, and not because of lack of funding. Either a house being built, or saving every single penny to outright purchase a house, maybe. Or maybe they are just following my grandmother's advice that a newlywed couple should never indulge in luxuries like big houses and eating out. Apparently, that spoils the marriage and they will fight more about spending later on. 🤔🤷

[@stephanimarvin3435]

Jessa was screaming out for attention from her parents, jana the perfect one

[@paulinewhite4771]

I think jana should get out from the family like jill did and enjoy her life.

[@audreygarza8344]

Jessa is Intimidated by her sister Jana because Jana can do way more things and has more creative style and Jana chose not to be married with kids

[@jessicahockema3298]

Of course JB likes Ben! He has no reason not to! Ben is the LEAST threat to him. Jessa runs that house.

[@biancacox8630]

Oh Ben us a threat to him alright because he believes in a different form of salvation than JB does believe me they have knocked heads a few times and Ben and Jeremy are close buds and Jeremy can’t stand JB

[@pinkiesue849]

@@biancacox8630 wow I didn't know that.

[@Libra8410]

Ben and Jessa don't seem like they're in love

[@edithali1263]

Jessa had had lots of mean girl moments through the yrs.

[@linaboutin5569]

Let's not forget that Ben is 2 years younger than she is.. he was only 19 when he was "invited" to live in the big shed... much to his parent's dismay.. long live tlc

[@NotSoMightyAphrodity]

Jessa is the kind of person who laughs when someone falls or gets hurt. She finds it the funniest and laughs the loudest.

[@NotSoMightyAphrodity]

@@tanyacollard5239 yeah but I love it when Katie does it.

[@ann-marimaukonen6805]

Interesting that Jessa said We have a problem We aren't perfect. First she spoke of her own behavior but when it came to being responsible for and own your problem it changed to We.... Nice! (not so much)

[@crimetimewithjess5366]

I remember this episode and it's when I stopped liking Jessa. She's jealous of Jana and clearly always have been

[@kerriwhyte6834]

I’ve watched them from the beginning and I’ve always got that ‘stuck up’ vibe from Jessa

[@jenniferwatson1944]

In the episode when Jessa and Ben started courting, her siblings were describing her personality and John David said opinionated and Michelle said Jessa tells it like it is. I can relate to that opinionated nature. My mom watched that episode with me and said “oh that sounds familiar!” with John David’s comment and she was referring to me. In any family with a lot of siblings, I have noticed that there will be siblings that gravitate towards each other and be thick as thieves and there are also siblings who don’t get along and can get on the other’s nerves and pick on the other one. Jana and Jessa may just have not bonded like Jinger and Jessa did. Some personality types just don’t mesh well and Jana may just have always had a personality that Jessa saw her as an easy target for her taunts and easy to pick on. Jana may have had that “I’m telling!” nature when her siblings misbehaved since she is the eldest and Jessa was the “yeah sure whatever” nature or the “oh are you going to go cry to mommy and daddy” nature.

[@lindareiber4086]

It could be that jessa is a little jealous. Jaba gas a sweet kind forgiving disposition. She keeps silent a lot and seems to genuinely be protective of her siblings . She is suffering in silence. I hope she moves on and maybe move on to another state. Maybe she should go awY to college. Michelle seems on the verge if tears. She looks worried. I feel so bad for her. She has created strong girls though. Perhaps they will save her.

[@jannwilkins5631]

Janna could wear a flour sack and look great!

[@texasjaco9385]

What the hell is going on with Jingers eyes, while Janna was talking about the jewelry box? She looked kinda high as hell standing there.

[@rebeccaquayle9072]

Sounds like PTSD.

[@cocorideout8049]

I have a feeling that if they went to public school jessa would be the one that got her tail beat up

[@Lisah707]

She jealous of Jana. That’s why she was mean to her. Jana is the meeker sister so Jessa rose to the older protector. And she is DEF a mini JB! She also wears the pants! Poor sweet Ben. Jessa doesn’t have a sweet inclination so she’s mean to sweet people. (Jill, Jana, Ben...)

[@catherinewhitford9895]

Yes she does have a flat personality. When she post events with her family she is behind the video .matter of a fact and sounds like Jim bob. Jim tries to be funny he's not .

[@cecesmith6229]

She has a flat personality because it's a fake mask, it's not real.

[@FOURTHandTuscaloosa]

Thats not what she said yall are literally talking about a 12 year old girl not gettingn along with her sister? Then over exaggerating what she said? sad.

[@bethany1ella2]

I have wondered if she's on the spectrum over the years. She seems so disconnected at times

[@sarahreinhart126]

Same here. Girls on the spectrum can easily pass. My heart goes out to her. I think Jessa and Jennifer are both on the spectrum. It’s easy to assume she is selfish and uncaring but she might be suffering and unable to identify her feelings.

[@biancacox8630]

@@sarahreinhart126 ...AND her son Henry COULD too be in the spectrum as he has a speech and language delay so if Jessa is on the Specteun the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree .....

[@AmyintheMountains]

I was about to comment this same thought! I am convinced she is on the spectrum. It runs in my family. Thank you for pointing this out, because it explains so much of her personality and behavior.

[@pinkiesue849]

Pardon my ignorance, but do you mean autism spectrum?

[@meresincere5682]

She is the only girl who didn't cry during the retelling of Josh's disgusting acts

[@junkdrawerpodcast14]

LOVING all of your content! I’ve been a silent fan for quite a while but I just have to say I’ve been watching a lot more over the last year and I love your channel!

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

Wow, thank you!

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

Thanks for becoming a member!

[@kelleyatc]

Same!!! The video you posted of the list re: the wedding night was gutting. My heart breaks for every girl in that cult. Keep fighting the good fight 👊🏼

[@marissah3125]

IMO Jana,though sweet, is the oldest daughter. Often oldest are “in charge”, responsible. Jessa’s personality is feisty and challenging of authority (which is great when channeled in a healthy direction). I can see how they would clash.

[@nmikloiche]

I don’t know if it was on the show or in one of the books but I do remember a claim that Jana was very much the older sister - and was “bossy”. I imagine Jana was told that she must be the younger girls’ role model and care taker. Now, I don’t know why such a normal sibling rivalry would continue to fester into adulthood. I guess that jewelry box didn’t really do the trick. Anyhow, does anyone remember where this was talked about??

[@biancacox8630]

Well even if it wasn’t talked about we can all put the pieces of the puzzle together ...Jana was MADE to be the boss and I just bet Jessa didn’t want Jana to be her parent she wanted to be mothered by her mama

[@miawhelan7385]

Let’s just be honest- one of those lil cherubs had to get Jim Bob’s personality, even on TV shows when she was younger she was stuck up and selfish

[@sarahhamilton374]

Jana is the family's keeper. She is selfless and kind and she is a hard worker. Jessa is quite the opposite. She is the family's puppet. She is selfish and lacks general skills, like most of the Duggar women. I think she resents her sister because jana is more independent and confident in her own skin. I mean look at Jill. Jessa has the same resentment towards her because she was able to sculpt herself the way she sees herself. Jessa can't stand herself and probably doesn't know how to break into her own person. I pray she finds the courage to break free one day.

[@loveubye2288]

Ya'll Jessa is a strong outspoken woman, the only one who isn't this quiet, gentle, sweet little helpmeet of a wife and by your responses it shows as a society we are still not used to a woman asserting herself. Don't forget that Jessa was blanket trained, probably hit, forced to take on chores and childcare responsibilities from a young age and probably went through so much emotional religious abuse. Literally being mean to her siblings as a young CHILD is her "testimony" of how she was such a sinner before she got truly "saved". Give the woman a freaking break. She has never been rude or condescending to her husband on camera but yes she has shown that she wants to be an equal partner in the marriage. Not every woman is going to be sweet and happy all the time, it doesn't mean she's a "b*"

[@rainbowgirlism]

Good point

[@rebeccalunsford9372]

I really don't understand how she thinks she can use the word was. She still is, she will never change.

[@Mandyrdr]

Why is it such a weird or off concept to have a sibling that was hard to get along with? Like wtf. My brother used to kick my ass. 😅 who actually had a life where all siblings got along??