Jim Jefferies -- Airplane Etiquette -- Fully Functional

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Comedian Jim Jefferies gives a hilarious breakdown of the etiquette protocol for air travel from his stand up comedy special Fully Functional.
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[@Farmeryeti]

"I had no idea you were gay." "...fuckin' yeah..."

[@kingharry6368]

...I like cock...

[@jameslisle7775]

“Fuckin’ yeah man…IIII…I like cock.”

[@HackersSun]

"we live in a society, we're not animals!" I'm using that!

[@ritwik0]

Ants,Zebras and other animals live in a societies too. Just saying.

[@Whalturk]

Bees aswell

[@ahmedanssaien6449]

^And we do like cock... **cough** the animal **cough**

[@ritwik0]

Ahmed Anssaien Nah...that's just you

[@lock9495]

W E L I V E I N A S O C I E T Y

[@JayDeath1]

"I know but how do you know." Ha!

[@ashnanadesan]

yeah that was like... hmmm...

[@-Rambi-]

I'm rather immune nowadays to stand up but that there had me laughing loud.

[@m1sterpunch]

Nothing on this earth is more beautiful than the way an Aussie says "cunt". Sincerely, -Canada.

[@nuplanner9920]

He's right. When I fly in the middle, the clowns on both sides take the armrests. Bloody rude.

[@idcaf]

Exactly. We live in a society

[@Psycorde]

We are not fucking animals! Well, David Cameron fucks pigs, but that's a story for another day...

[@AmazingAutist]

It's the only consolation for sitting in the middle.

[@josh-rr5oc]

stand up for yourself

[@darrenevans1852]

Fal a cants

[@L1Run]

"People were yelling at me calling me a racist, and I was like, I know, but how do you know?" - One of my favorite Jefferies lines of all time :D

[@fluffy2raw213]

I laugh each time I hear this and his face when he says it is funny af

[@Madcapredcap]

He does a good American accent

[@DrewJPS]

Here lives there.

[@Madcapredcap]

I thought there lived here.

[@tmacfan16]

umm wtf ur grammer is terrible its "he does a well American Accent"

[@Madcapredcap]

Well-Americans have a specific, deeply echoing accent that does not sound anything like this man

[@logan3645]

Lmao bud you're wrong

[@johnsmithy315]

He’s not drunk, he’s just Australian

[@user-qx1om2wj1h]

No, he's a drunk who just happens to be Australian.

[@Aussiest]

@《Crypt Knight》 No fuckin' difference - he's just confused and hasn't adapted to the upside down

[@matthale8090]

So he is drunk 😆

[@MrMattnis1]

He's a loser

[@armandblake]

No, he’s Australian, therefore he’s drunk

[@armando_alves]

5:00 - That "I know" had me laughing so much!

[@youisstupid2586]

KENNY GILL get over it moron.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Jim could make even the most boring story interesting

[@mustwereallydothis]

If someone steals your armrest, just start casually stroking their hand. When they look at you, stop and act as casual as possible. Maybe make casual small talk. Repeat as often an nessesary. If nothing else, you will get the satisfaction of knowing you f***ed with their mind and made their trip uncomfortable and your trip a little more entertaining.

[@ekdaufin1485]

Tara Wright 🤣

[@davidsmith553]

What if they like it? Whose mind will be fucked then?

[@LunchIs4Winners]

David Smith Then you got yourself a date, good on you mate

[@davidsmith553]

@@LunchIs4Winners I am married but thanks for the offer.

[@lucemayer6276]

Not advisable for women

[@jordanf8326]

I hate people that disregard plane etiquette. There is a special place in hell.

[@Free2PlayGamerNation]

It's called the back of the plane.

[@cannabinized]

there is a special place in hell for people who use the phrase "a special place in hell"

[@Free2PlayGamerNation]

+cannabinized Yeah, it's called Purgatory. It's a paradox, within a paradox, aimed at your worst weaknesses, fears, and addictions deep-fried in repetition, and wrapped in a sepia filter.

[@bobdylan6198]

Danny Dunwich all things in entertainment are recycled .... movies shows music ..... some ppl do it better

[@ron7926]

its called plane etiquette, most people know it , why would Jim need to steal something that's already known?

[@kiffaj9982]

A lot of Aussies talk like this. QUEENslander.

[@ensinitas]

"as a proud gay man myself..." I'M USING THAT ONE!

[@mallikarjunakaveti8908]

This should played in every aircraft soon after the safety instructions. Passengers may face the "unlikely event" once in their lifetime but this arm rest is a nightmare. So this video must be played :)

[@wingnightbackwards]

the good thing about the unlikely event is that you can only experience it once

[@LetsGoFlyers2011]

@@wingnightbackwards people frequently survive unlikely events

[@wingnightbackwards]

@@LetsGoFlyers2011 how many people have experienced 2 plane crashes

[@dongmartin2163]

"No one is watchin the *FAHCHHKEN* MOVIE"

[@rr965]

It is written as “farken” or “fukken”. Love, Straya

[@MrCCollins1993]

I'm in the middle seat on a plane watching this. This should be part of the in-flight safety presentation.

[@Salvus967]

Yes it is...We're having a fight. - LOL!

[@salinacarter1342]

😂

[@yourdadsotherfamily3530]

‘Why are you such a cunt?’ ‘I would be dying laughing on that flight 😂💀

[@mer289]

*W E L I V E I N A S O C I E T Y*

[@blue_k.7899]

*W H A T ?*

[@Dave-Dinos]

*20 MINUTES GUITAR SOLO*

[@WyattCayer]

"I had no idea you were gay!" LMAO, that was priceless!!!

[@aecides3203]

As a Brit, I've been called a "limey bastard" multiple times and...it's just the worst insult (in the sense of being lame, not offensive) when you know where it comes from. It originates from British Sailors being given limes and other citrus fruits to prevent the onset of scurvy on long voyages and this being rare due to the British Navy being one of the few in the world at the time capable of supplying such 'luxurious' foodstuffs. So, essentially, the insult is "Haha! We've all got scurvy and you haven't! Your teeth aren't falling out and your bones aren't decaying! What a loser!" And...yeah...not sure how devastated our Sailors were to hear that - it's kind of like a blind person going "Yeah, enjoy that rainbow two eyes!"

[@1bert719]

As a fellow Brit (former navy) I got this a lot with Americans. I'd be like "how dare I strut about with my unbowed legs and mouth full of teeth!" I took it as a badge of honour.

[@davethompson3326]

Other navies cottoned on fast, but they had access to lemons, which worked better, not limes.

[@aldanlamarc5385]

He always sounds like he's drunk.

[@mattu1914]

Aldan Lamarc he is m8

[@ihateadverts]

Because he is. Always

[@evolutionaryadvantage]

Aldan Lamarc No as Australians always sound like that, drunk or not

[@timrobertsgb]

He’s always pissed

[@DRizzleTundar]

Just sounds Australian to me maybe a lil tipsy but not drunk he switches between imitation and speaking proper too seamlessly

[@kevmed64]

I luv his American accent

[@jacksellis7569]

Same

[@kevmed64]

Dude - you're not getting it - we're talking about when he is imitating Americans in his act he uses a funny American accent. For an American listener, it may be too subtle for some to detect. We're not talking about his accent in general which is obviously Australian

[@Cyge240sx]

I don't man it's creepy as fuck he sounds like a goddamn serial killer

[@pints6994]

miri Haly What's it like to be stupid?

[@iamthemachinedd]

To my ears it sounds like he lost his accent. It's spot on but really trippy. For a split second I thought he had just been pretending to have an Australian accent because woman love that shit in the states.

[@TheShikerWolf]

Love how he sounds drunk but when he does American accent immediately becomes sober 😆

[@borris3768]

american accents are so easy to do. you just have to sound like your mentally retarded

[@aviation4lifenz132]

This is not the situation to swear in (yes it fucking is were having a fight)

[@ThatWeirdCreator]

My favorite thing he does wis whenever the audience reacts and he just goes, “I know!”

[@gakerty]

Jefferies tells hilarious warped stories well.

[@cierakitty]

On a long flight, my steward was a male, very girlish. As we were boarding the plane he said to me "Good morning dear, will this be for business or pleasure ?" Without thinking I blurted out "Well, I don't know.....what did you have in mind ?" That flight was a lot of fun and so was he.....we all loved him

[@amystabile7789]

He's just fucking brilliant. I don't even care how offensive he gets, he makes a solid point every time 👍

[@GyppoMarx]

Agreed 👍

[@lilkr8844]

The C bomb is one of the best words ever and put it with the F bomb , perfection

[@dasistac]

I ACTUALLY DID THIS, on a recent flight. Some tall dude (2meters +) had changed his seat and I was in the middle, this a***ole took both arm rests, at some point during our struggle he said: "could you stop, i'm trying to sleep"... and then... it hit me... years of training for this moment.... I said: "I'm sorry to bother you, you should learn some plane etiquette, the one on the aisle gets.. bla bla bla.... we're not animals! WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY" jajajajajaja the guy just said: I'm sorry. Got both armrests fot the rest of my 11 hour flight!

[@mykingdomforak9]

Don't let them win both armrests. (So rude, inhumane, and cruel, obviously.) I'd call a flight attendant, and have them mediate.

[@petertr2000]

Holy shit, other people have arguments in their head with other people who aren't even aware of it!

[@zaboza2011]

Peter Richardson I know right 😂

[@rainydayz6429]

Peter Richardson holy shit I thought I was the only one who did that 😂😂😂

[@kurtiswoods780]

Billions of people dude. Yeah

[@Thelonedrifter]

I do it all the time

[@jeffblack2458]

Jim is like Harry Potter before he learned he was a wizard. That glass of beer on the ground keeps appearing and disappearing. lol

[@sushantsaklani]

Jeff Black hahaha i was noticing the same

[@biggiedickson]

"Well good sir I think you are mistaken" Fucking hilarious.

[@sed8me69]

*"fagin the fk out"* Holy crap, choked, and it keeps getting funnier 🤯

[@AE-ix2iz]

“I know but how did they know?!” 😂

[@mileshall9329]

His American accent DUUUUDE HAHAAA.

[@djwillbryan]

The more I see of him, the more I like him. He's funny, and doesn't give a shit if he's crude!

[@user-zt5dj1gz9n]

Come to Scotland to hear cussing we don't give fuck its just punctuation here

[@nathanhillier919]

Should definitely be the video they show at the start of the flight!

[@KWilson95]

I haven't laughed that hard at someone's stand up in a very long time.

[@orcajesus6621]

I love how he is wasted but still tells great jokes

[@MochudiSwaagVEVO]

He doesn’t drink

[@aldousorwell3807]

Australian Jim Breuer.

[@91389devious]

he doesn't drink anymore, but when he made this special he was drinking on stage

[@d3c3p7ak0nz]

@@MochudiSwaagVEVO he litterally has a show called alcoholocaust where he drinks the whole fucking time. He doesnt drink now, but most of these shows were recorded when he was essentially an alcoholic

[@MochudiSwaagVEVO]

@@d3c3p7ak0nz oh I didn’t know, thanks man

[@SkepticGamer]

Jim, you're my hero.

[@OpenMawProductions]

Jim Jefferies sounds like Ryan Reynolds when he goes American.

[@EquestrianFate]

OpenMawProductions yeah he does

[@owencampbell8799]

“I know but how do you know” is the best line. Funny guy.

[@m.2891]

This was beautiful.

[@stormwatcher59]

This is fuckin comedy GOLD!!!

[@Phantom096]

One of my favorite comedians. Legend!

[@tnobody9679]

Do ya'll know that the oxygen masks are there to muffle the screams as we're going down?? Lmao

[@richardlloyd2589]

Do you not find the mask makes it really hard to actually go down?

[@treysolomon1941]

Charlie Waffles you can’t fly that fast that low

[@Giggidygiggidy12]

I don't know if this really happened, but he was pretty damn convincing

[@EMETRL]

almost all stories that comedians tell are completely made up

[@markram4444]

Odds are only a small part of this is true, and he used it as inspiration for a stand-up bit

[@Independenceforsco14]

Comic genius. Can't believe I didn't discover you till I was 44!!! Please come to Scotland, you'll be loved here!

[@fallendeath632]

2:04 😂I HAD TO SPIT OUT MY DRINK

[@johndoe9450]

Love how all comedians does airport/airplane stories because they all travel all the time :D

[@bmac4]

A lot of people can relate to flying stories in general

[@logiii6854]

"I know...but how do you know?" FUUUCK XD

[@tangobango9653]

‘In for a penny, in for a pound.’

[@kipatzu]

one of the funniest sketches I've ever seen!

[@mtnbiker014]

Jim Jeffries and Bill Burr are my go to comics - always great bits and unparalleled delivery.

[@marylhere]

Obviously you’ve seen their talk on Jim Jeffries’ Show. Brilliant.

[@gaylejackson2975]

Absolutely 😂

[@soothingsound5960]

i fucking love this shit, only comedian that gets me fucking laughing shitless from start to finish

[@375Cheytac]

Dave chapelle aswell.

[@acipshah]

+. fuck you it's his opinion

[@simonnaylor3536]

Best standup of the 2010’s! So good! 👏👏👏

[@rxsheepxr]

At some point the beer disappears and I can't think of anything else.

[@gamingwithlacks]

I looked at my elbows while watching this in my chair and my elbows are firmly planted on the back of my arm rests. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE FRONT OF THE ARM REST! 🤣🤣🤣

[@paulwilson774]

This man is a comic genius!!! Very smart as for he’s observational comedy phenomenal

[@mattienorml349]

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, airplanes had roomy seats, and two armrest for each person!

[@toobisek]

This made me laugh out loud! Alone on the deck :)

[@gdubsterz1238]

So awesome he got back at what is usually the other way around. Loud at the movies, pushy in line, disrespectful of everyone else...its great to hear he got one over.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Yes, it’s wonderful isn’t it?

[@user-tf5xq3bt1x]

Can't wait to see him in November!!! Super excited!!

[@tracylf5409]

Airplanes in the 70-80's actually had room for everyone.

[@phoarey]

Best, funniest comedian of al time

[@Makrel94]

One of the best !! I like Carlin more.. Bill Burr is pretty good as well. IMO

[@vaclav_fejt]

+Kasper Bang Simon Amstell, Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle (especially his bits in Mock the Week)..for your consideration.

[@Makrel94]

+Václav Fejt I'm a very big fan of Frankie & Jimmie.. Never heard of Simon Amstell might go and check him out :)

[@scientificatheist9381]

Fear Loathing Doug Stanhope, osho rajaneesh

[@scientificatheist9381]

and Bill Hicks

[@malyahmoore8790]

I love this dude!! Super Funny!!

[@Kreozot2D]

Love his comedy so much.

[@artea2930]

I watched every single video of Jim's that I could find on YT. He's totally smart and hilarious!!:))

[@pauldrysdale6271]

I love his comedy.

[@skilzondotcom4170]

I laughed so hard. 😂

[@stupot008]

friend showed me this guy on KZbin other day have been watching all his videos on YT and love them. Generally smart and funny

[@Spacet1mer]

Gone: 0:38 I just want to know... Did his beer go on a 4-minute vacation? Back: 5:07

[@keanankinman1508]

This is glorious.

[@kristikoz8607]

Oh I love this one...always have...came back for a little Airplane racism😂😘🇨🇦

[@Tomoesong]

8 years. Time flies

[@angus1379]

Jim jefferies you are a bloody legend

[@ericramirez3686]

Is he drunk during his specials? Lol he’s awesome

[@arloschofield5648]

Nah just Australian

[@ryanl2537]

And bang! I'm back in! Love it 😂

[@yoboi01]

Love this guy

[@KegOfMeat]

OMG this is fucking awesome

[@DSoverPSP]

"...I don't think those people ever retired."

[@robd3085]

Never gets old!!

[@ayokay123]

If I had a dollar for every time I've listened to this routine.... Saw Jefferies here in Chicago a couple of years ago a month after Ricky Gervais. Although Gervais was decent, Jefferies had me and my 80-something year old mom falling into the aisle with laughter. Up, Gunta, UP!!! :D

[@jaber4774]

This is like something from curb your enthusiasm

[@nicosmind3]

"Elbow into my ribcage" "Maybe you should lose some weight" What from his skeletal structure?

[@whatistau]

Love his Chappellesque delivery in this one

[@SpellboundWolf]

That's amazing!

[@nionrio1976]

quality as usual, I love all your material its quality if you are ever in Liverpool let me know would love a pint or ten in your company

[@professionalmemeenthusiast2117]

0:36 WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY

[@LivingWellTV]

that cheered up my day!

[@bryanmlally]

The way he switches to a flawless American accent is fantastic.

[@Sportsfan94]

never laughed so much watching this guy, so funny.

[@EMETRL]

WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY

[@ernestbyers4647]

Oh! "Air stewardesses"! I finally figured it out!

[@dominiquehughes8311]

This is great!

[@kudakwashemwashayenyi4752]

this guy is entertaining asf

[@jamesdfbwbugg2315]

Genius!!!!