John Gray-#1 Turn-On For A Man (&The Opposite)

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & * Get FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/

[@Satillite1111]

For me, its attraction on a physical level and good communication, mature emotionally to meet and blend each others needs. This works if practiced on a daily basis. Learning each other's love language, able to feel vunerable without being criticized in a negative context. Support each other and be open and honest. Stand Up for your beliefs with kindness... Find out what your person's triggers are and Vice Versa, then deal with it as soon as possible. It prevents deep inner hurt to fester. Tip towing around someone results to more inner conflict. It's aweful to experience when there's that elephant in the room. There's really no excuse for couples to have a healthy relationship while there's so much information out there to fit your needs... Yet many don't want to accept change to improve themselves, so this creates today's singlhood. In part it's one's upbringing, be it what they feel is right to how their parents taught them or religious factors.... Easier said than done for many that have reached middle age...

[@dbsk06]

Key for women: find a guy who makes you feel safe to be yourself. Put yourself out there and go on many many dates without being desperate. “Lower” expectations for the initial phase Go for the guy who wants to please you A LOT more than you want to please him

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

thanks for watching and for sharing your comments too!

[@jacquelinegreene110]

I wasn't attracted to my boyfriend at first, but I could feel his interest in me and started being attracted to him because of it. He's the best man I've ever been with! He's a good-looking guy and had women throwing themselves at him all the time, which was one of the reasons I didn't like him. But he won me over! He was always paying attention to me, listening to me, wanting to see me and do things for me, anticipating my needs. It's like I couldn't help but love him back.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comment too Jacqueline!

[@winxclubstellamusa]

Beautiful and inspiring story, thank you for sharing! 🧡

[@JM-yf5rt]

Around 14:00, Dr. John Gray, hit it on the head: stop hunting for a man. Let men pursue you.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

I absolutely agree. Thanks for watching and for leaving a comment too!

[@utualan]

No keep on hunting. We men like that!

[@glesiaful]

@@utualan you wish🤣

[@EdelweisSusie]

Steve Harvey explained it best. Men are hunters so let them earn your attention: don’t make it easy for them by being readily available. And make them think YOU have options too - that makes them value you. SO true, ladies.

[@CeeceeH1819]

Men and women are wired so differently. It takes a lot of growth and understanding to have realistic expectations. It's actually really exhausting 😩

[@1badassrn129]

OMG Yessss! 😟☹️

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Very much agree...I sometimes wonder that we’re so different can either gender really give the other advice? It’s like we’re coming from a totally different thought process, totally foreign to each other. I think that’s why when there’s a real connection, it’s like real life magic. Somehow, when that happens, a connection through all that mystery and confusion occurred.

[@sloeberdoet]

Normally we were mentioned to live in groups and have group sex so that was biologically meant. The constitution of marriage is something man made and against our biology.

[@babajaiy8246]

@@sloeberdoet Actually this is not true...the institution of marriage is man made...but pairing monogamously is very natural and has been around much longer than marriage. And at the same time the frame work of groups as you describe is also true. It's not one or the other. You can find reflections of this also in the animal world - both monogamy and group. The reason we had the development of the institution of marriage is because it reflected something that was already naturally there.

[@springfauna1465]

I love that you said this because a woman shouldn't be conned into having sex too fast with a man. I don't care what his excuses are to why you should, a lady just doesn't do it! Period.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

I agree! Thanks for watching and for your comments too Dee!

[@utualan]

This can apply to men too. When single, believe it or not I have refused sex from attractive and seemingly respectable women when it doesn't feel right and I don't know them sufficiently.

[@Jessica-tz3wb]

John is really the best relationship coach out here.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

He's the real deal for sure! Thanks for watching Jessica!

[@Jessica-tz3wb]

@@MichelleMarchantJohnson i enjoyed your channel a lot!

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

He is!! All us Coaches STILL learn so MUCH from him!!

[@BauerBeauty]

He’s so good

[@Topself24]

Yes he is

[@freespirit3818]

I had an amazing partner. We had a son together life was wonderful with him. Sadly he passed away 13 years ago. I've never met anyone who has ever made me feel so good.

[@KatherineHardie]

Fantastic. If you are short on time start at around five minute mark- 4:50 John gets on a roll and he really nails it in the most crystal-clear way. Thanks for this interview.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for that and for watching Katherine!

[@sweetsue4204]

When I was fighting myself in this current relationship, trying to make him into someone neither one of us really wanted him to be (social training of what a relationship was) I decided to change the way I saw the relationship. So I made myself a note, “My job is to align myself in a way that allows for the celebration of you being you.” I read that note, which sits directly under a happy picture of him, every day. The partnership has never been better. 💕

[@tracys3096]

Glad that worked for you. I spent years doing that and it still wasn't enough

[@patriotgrammy8632]

I’m a single 78 year old who still loves the attention of a man who is considerate and wants to help me all the time. I do agree that as a woman, we need to take it slow when it comes to sex. Even at my age, I love sex with a good sex partner but I also want him to respect me once we get to that point.

[@naynamangalore]

I have heard the same thing from other experts too... that making a man do things for a woman is the way forward. But what these relationship advice experts don't know is that there's loads of competition. Lots of women out there are giving it up for men who show zero effort. So the man automatically moves onto them and then onto another and then another. The good ladies who know how men should treat them unfortunately end up staying single 🤦‍♀️

[@1972yourock]

Wow!! On spot! I am 45 and it used to be easier to date. Now a days “women have become man”!! They lower their standards with the “perception” that because the trend of being an independent women is also having sex with anybody including all else, then man are like whatever.. you won’t give it up I will find another around the corner. I am seeing someone now who said to me “ I like you a lot, we may have had sex already but that’s not what I am interested only. Sex we both can get anywhere from anybody” I said uh? His like yes, now a days you go out on date and get laid just like that. I have even turned down women, which they become upset with me. I was like holly crap!

[@ra9552]

simple answer: that man thats is looking for zero effort is simply not the right one for you!!! PASSS

[@nikkiallen1500]

@@ra9552 Just So! Many different components in a healthy good relationship. Investment of time, interest and intellect are necessary to grow TRUST, First, for a solid companionship.

[@dianneciresi7208]

@@nikkiallen1500 Many men can't be trusted today with too many options out here. Woman are a dime a dozen & so are men on these dating sites. They can change their mind about us in an unexpected moment..go figure ...

[@kind5244]

More options doesn’t mean better quality ! men have always had options but if your good in your own right you don’t need to worry about other people , you will be found by the right 1

[@Deathla]

As a woman who's SO dropped the ball during my time of need, the disappointment is real. I called him out on it and made it clear that if he wants to be with me, he needs to at least make an effort to show up and meet my needs.

[@RK-su4hs]

Sorry huh. I have found that majority of people are not there when needed. It’s usually a stranger who helps me then disappears Something that helps me is “The way you start is the way you end”. I’ve found this to be an absolute If the guy isn’t supportive in the beginning he never will be Have to see them “warts and all” and make a clear decision if we can live with the dark side Or keep on walking Life often has happy surprises for us we couldn’t have anticipated Keep your head up

[@bellabong8862]

@@RK-su4hs Loved your comment. So very true. 👍

[@bellabong8862]

Khristi: He ain't the one, hon. Drop him and listen to Dr. Gray's advice. He doesn't feel attracted enough to you and isn't sufficiently interested in you mentally or emotionally to want to do things for you and meet your needs. Don't waste your precious time/life trying to figure out how to get a square peg to fit into a round hole. Just focus on the eager round pegs.

[@ArtByHazel]

Imagine, if John’s relationship coaching is taught early on for every boy or girl? So glad we can correct the past, heal inside out and feel whole and love again. This time with proven tools, skills, and emotional intelligence. ❤️ 🎁

[@carolcarolyn8928]

Thank God for internet. We keep these for our children.❤

[@sfoster4874]

John is AMAZINGLY interesting and informative. Thanks Michelle for bringing us his work!!!

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Yes he is!!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@@MichelleMarchantJohnson Great videos and Fantastic advice!

[@maddiecmears]

Michelle you are a great interviewer, you truly let him speak!

[@KayQhosa]

Save sex for marriage. It's worth it!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

That's a very good idea Karen! Thanks for watching and for your comment too!

[@sarajane5306]

Well I'm 40, had sex a handful of times when I was younger. Not touched anyone for 11 years, at least I won't die a virgin. But waiting for marriage means many may as well join a convent.

[@kannot1]

Nope :) there's plenty of us here that respect our sexual and spiritual health 💖💖 especially with today's hypersexuality

[@jennytafoya261]

Yes. Yes. Yes- I said to myself daily to save myself for my husband.

[@ashleyvadnais4237]

No❤

[@SarahHyde]

Loving his stuff! It’s mind blowing! Makes so much sense!

[@everything5066]

Strangely tho, men always go after women who are self assured and don't need them . It's human nature we want what we can't have .

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Yes. That's the secret. Never be needy!

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@malvina malvina I agree. Not too independent where there's no room in your life for him. But never make him your whole world.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@malvina malvina Good question. I say. No. They won't be appreciative. They'll remember they didn't have to work hard to get them.

[@aselyne5631]

Also,they like women who have other dudes,because they seem unattainable

[@winxclubstellamusa]

No, it’s childhood trauma which conditions people to want what they can’t have. What is natural is to want and like who and what actively wants and likes you!

[@bellakim9404]

Isn't it funny and ridiculous how men can act needy and women will listen and move on without offense, yet when women are needy men punish and dismiss attention thinking they're not guilty of this behavior? Just bizarre.

[@tenne6930]

@Corina Luana Vlad I had a similar thought where he classified men as grumbling and women as complaining 🤣😂😂

[@rachelarmel7547]

It seems that most men are massively insecure and hypersensitive to criticism (just what women are accused of).

[@bellakim9404]

@@rachelarmel7547 I agree. Bruise to their ego

[@tenne6930]

@Corina Luana Vlad YES! John Gray talks about not being that person for men to cry on because it only creates imbalances in the relationship!

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

That's how it is. Men want what they can't have! You should read John Gray's book. Men are from Mars and Women from Mars. 😉

[@lovelydaytoday3484]

@14:00 Had to listen to that a few times to get it. Basically don't be more interested in a guy than he is interested in you. I agree. Using the buying a house concept, no way I would put in the effort to inspect the house thoroughly unless I really liked the house and felt it would be perfect for me😉

[@Tazz431]

The one who loves the least has the most control in the relationship

[@sept2866]

John Gray is life.changing for men and women And Michelle, you clarify I all!

[@joliemiranda5685]

Thanks so much John. Thanks for being so authentic. Thanks for being confident to show your Catholic faith.. I'm a Catholic as well and proud of you! 🙏🤗

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching Jolie and for your comments too!

[@呀你可]

7:00 4:27 spiritual connection, where feels eternity of life, life never ends.5:00 feel safe and interesting

[@samanthajane11.11]

Unfortunately I dated a few guys that I wasnt attracted to and ended up hurting them by leading them on too long. I tried but just couldn't continue without the physical attraction

[@queengoblin]

Well he says that the physical attraction will happen after the emotional one so if it didn't happen after that then they weren't right for you! You deserve to be attracted to your man, I don't think he's saying to go for men you aren't attracted to, he's saying the right guy will make you attracted to him. So basically don't go after/ chase your fantasy man bc you think he's hot, let the men who are into you work for you and let the best one (the one you're most attracted to after your mind and heart have been opener by him) win.

[@samanthajane11.11]

@@queengoblin I literally have never chased a guy, they contact me and pursue me. Im starting to wonder if I will ever meet someone right for me at 56 Ive never found true love or had my heart broken. Ive dated hundreds of guys several 5 yr ones, some for 2 yrs, mostly they only last a few months until I break it off. I always wondered if there's something wrong with me. I need someone with integrity, authenticity and spirit like me who I can also be attracted to but I still haven't found him

[@queengoblin]

@@samanthajane11.11 Read The Rules if you haven't already, this is normal, you just have to keep trying! Also listen to Mina Irfan, she talks about finding love and having high standards for women over 40, not settling! You can have the man you want!

[@queengoblin]

You're a beautiful woman if that's you in your pic so I wouldn't worry about it! I know it's hard, but don't let negative thoughts defeat you!

[@samanthajane11.11]

@@queengoblin thank you for saying, yes that's a recent pic of me I will look up Mina thank you!

[@Timmsy]

Fascinating, helpful honest advice!! Thank you 🙏

[@dianneciresi7208]

No one taught me to be a certain way. I grew up very independent & raised myself from an alcoholic mother & abandoned father

[@vhayashi7369]

This advice only works if you aren't with a Narcissist! 😩🤷

[@someoneelse5581]

Kick him to the curb 💩

[@dinag9179]

Yes it does! But you have to get rid of the narcissist and choose the man that treats you the best not the one that you feel attracted to before knowing him

[@MrsNsf74]

With a narc you are a slave

[@someoneelse5581]

@@MrsNsf74 yes definitely ....

[@tanjasrensen3303]

Yes - narcissists love bomb you - dough when you get healthy and don’t believe the fairytale, you will see through that love bombing fase, your boundaries will be firm and you will repel a narcissist - and actually will not be attracted to toxic people ... so interesting you will see through them ❤️ self love 🥰

[@jsmum196]

This is awesome! You always hear "You should marry a man who's more into you than you are to him." I've always agreed with this but now there's a dating guy who's saying this is wrong. I'm so glad to hear John say this. He's the best. Men are from Mars..should be required reading in all schools and even homeschool!

[@stephenpenhale2541]

😊❤

[@stephenpenhale2541]

J

[@Tazz431]

The one who loves the least is actually in control of the relationship. Think why that is...

[@mountainkid417]

@@Tazz431 yes the leader of the relationship is the one who is less invested. Regardless of the gender

[@luckycoady]

I thought I met the one and I thought I felt the spiritual connection with the person but ended up with a narcissist and years of physical and emotional abuse. They never see the damage they do and expect you to just sit there in silence and take their damage and punishment and in return you are expected to be grateful of being in their company. In their own mind they think there gods and you will always be beneath them. They have no idea how to connect with others as they only ever think of themselves 24/7.

[@KatErina-ii6ru]

Why would you stay with such a person? Go find your own happiness 💖

[@luckycoady]

@@KatErina-ii6ru different reasons but when you put your heart and soul into it and you love that person you try to see the best in them at all times and have patience with them hoping they will come out of what their going through. But sometimes it’s not you it’s them but they don’t see it or refuse to look inside themselves as they are experts of everything and know all the answers. I see myself as a student of life even though I am a lecturer/teacher I am forever learning and will never know it all.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

Trauma bonding & they diminish your confidence and isolate you from healthy influences then they gaslight your reality and make you apologise for their cruelty - 24yra & 5 attempts to leave​@KatErina-ii6ru finally fled with the baby and a few carrier bags for safety, left him the house and all I'd worked for, they are dangerous. Please don't judge unless you've been there ❤

[@lilibratic1330]

John Gray, my top favourite psihologist!!! I read your books and live is even better❤👍👍👍👍👍. Love you and i deeply appriciate your wisdom, the way you analize and help us see deeply man and woman psihology. I still remember-- how you said-- man are like elastic- how they pull and stretch....always remember. You are the best❤👍👍👍👍

[@carolcalhoun9969]

my husband began to pursue me when I was 15-he was 27-I thought he was just being a nice friend-he cared so much about me-I eventually realized he really loved me and I gave in and loved him-we got married when I was 20-38 years of great marriage til he died at 70-my soul mate and eternal lover

[@CL-un9gg]

That’s a lovely story. So glad you shared 38 great years together ❤️

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Glad you had such a long and happy marriage Carol! Thanks for watching!

[@biankaum]

15?

[@jordansjul]

@@biankaumyes, sounds like grooming to me

[@jennifermarie802]

This explains everything about my crummy relationships.

[@shellshelly5552]

It’s SO hard for me. I am a giver and find it so hard and feel “selfish” for a man to do more for me. I feel so guilty. Crazy I know.

[@sandramichaud8033]

5/24. Great presentation from an expert. Looking at the responses, everyone is educated and helped. I have to watch this again. Thank you so much!

[@care018]

This is So helpful!!!!!

[@andreadee6327]

John you are so amazing. Thank you. The reason I am so interested in your talks is because I always meet the guy who is unemotionally unavailable. I can be the aggressive one but then I stop and wait to see if they are interested in me first.I'm 54 single all my life. I consider myself attractive and interesting but I'm always left alone.I only have 3 requirements. He needs a job a place if his own to live and not with his mother. So therefore I'm stuck.

[@Fay1106]

What are men doing wrong at fifty he better damn well have those three things and way more!!

[@ElizabetaDante]

Yes, where are all those good guys who want to do stuff for us? 😳 with jobs and living alone? 😳😳😳😝

[@ivy3839]

Stop dating dusties

[@Fay1106]

@@ivy3839 hahhaha right?! Say it again for the people in the back

[@queengoblin]

You need higher standards, more requirements. Listen to Mina Irfan.

[@jamishepard98]

Very interesting. It’s been my experience men are critical and look for things to be wrong with women, too.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Yes, that can be true for sure. Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@xfitch3809]

Thanks for all these videos... I really love the way he puts things

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Glad you like them! Thanks for watching!

[@ActiveLife-yc8nd]

I think that there are women like me who do first consider whether they can have sex with a man in order to start anything long term. Chemistry is very important at the beginning.

[@daniellelowrey7805]

Wow this was absolutely amazing thank you so much I really appreciate your videos I’m learning so much never really Understood what a healthy relationship looked like I been working on myself everyday to learn grow and heal ❤️

[@nunya257]

Re: the drinks situation. How on earth is that acceptable behavior? He’s not acting like a responsible adult and he let her down. I don’t get this at all.

[@laurachristinabetancourt1]

I know it makes no sense to me either. But the way I make sense of it is - would rather be right or would you rather have things done for you?

[@shivar7125]

I wonder the same thing! Isn’t that allowing the partner to be irresponsible or in other words not having any standards towards acceptable and unacceptable behavior? Only way I can make sense of it is that this example is literally for unimportant matters like a party and that’s when we have to keep it light and not make fuss about it!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

I think John is saying he was just running late and had full intent of getting the drinks for the party and that he needed that chance to come through for her. Thanks for watching!

[@sillygirl1139]

@@MichelleMarchantJohnson Yes I see the point. Scolding him is not my job, I'm not his mother. If you adopt the role of mother, you may very well get an adult child. I wouldn't appreciate it if a loved one was like that with me when things go wrong. I used to be really terrible with time keeping sometimes and my sister reacts in the most loving way to me when I'm late (sometimes I was incredibly late 🙈). Although I've never said it to her, I love and am in a little bit in awe of her for it. It makes me feel loved and accepted even when I get things wrong, and I want to be on time for her because of love and respect and not because I fear being bashed if I'm late. It's a wonderful piece of reverse psychology really lol.

[@NikkiDawes-x2t]

The difference is she allowed him to make a mistake. In the first one she scolds and berates him like a child and makes him feel small. In the second she gives him a chance to redeem himself and doesn’t make it a big deal

[@Smokillo]

How to turn a man on? Give him a 9,000 volt electroshock !

[@mari-067]

LOL !!

[@Smokillo]

@@mari-067 I really believe it's the only true way. ;)

[@MaRiAm936]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@NikkiDawes-x2t]

Lmaooo

[@Gigi-zd8vi]

This is GOLD!! Thank you for posting.

[@louisescott5836]

Excellent advice!!!! Listen to this man he knows what he is talking about.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too Louise!

[@Latoree33]

Thank you this was better therapy than diving into empath healing. What an amazing man. I've learned what I needed to learn which I should have learned 30 yrs.ago

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comment, Dee.

[@vhayashi7369]

Whenever I am needy they don't want to be around. Needy meaning just wanting to spend time once a week... I give up!!!

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

NO. If he just wants to see you once a week...you're probably a sidechick. 😬

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@malvina malvina Yes. And we Women aren't looking for casual Relationships. Don't settle.

[@stephaniep1761]

They are needy sexually.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@@stephaniep1761 No SEX ladies until your in a relationship. Keep the cookie in the JAR!

[@stephaniep1761]

@@CrystalDatingCoach but a man will spread his feathers until he impresses you enough to sleep with him, and then the chase is over and he will stop putting forth the same effort, leaving you feeling empty in many cases.

[@crystaldemarr]

Phenomenal video!!! Extremely informative. Thank you!

[@africanqueenmo]

Still confused between needing and needy

[@YesNo-dm4dx]

Needing is when you ask while being confident you will receive it and he will do what he can. Needy is when you don't trust him to want to do his very best so you complain, nag, whine, get angry etc.

[@africanqueenmo]

@@YesNo-dm4dx what if you ask and he does not respond? What if you need to remind or push him because he's forgetful or irresponsible?

[@YesNo-dm4dx]

@@africanqueenmo It's never good to push a man. There is nothing wrong with reminding him to do stuff I guess but if you're doing it in a controlling way and like you don't trust him of course he's not gonna like that. Men are really sensitive in that respect. If you think he is irresponsible, that's quite a hard judgement on your part.

[@YesNo-dm4dx]

@@africanqueenmo Anyhow, I think John Gray advises women to only remind him once in a nice tone and if he can't do that write it down and keep a list of things to do that he can complete when he has time

[@Decopainterandtea]

@@africanqueenmo if they want to, they will.

[@batraworldwide720]

wow i never heard it said like this. amazing.. @John Gray thank you so much for putting out your videos, I see most of them are fresh during covid. wow, keep going!

[@jacquelinegreene110]

Men and women are wired so differently. It takes a lot of growth and understanding to have realistic expectations. It's actually really exhausting 😩

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

You're very welcome! Thanks for watching and for your comment too Sonia!

[@roisin232fitzgerald2]

Love love love all your advice! Great man and I love through all your meditation your still blossoming!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks so much for watching and for commenting too. We're glad you found this valuable.

[@catherinele7730]

My problem is I am bored of dating, eating out and kissing ...repeatedly, I just want to have a baby

[@queengoblin]

Omgg this is so cute. Good luck girl

[@winxclubstellamusa]

Then adopt a baby, don’t have one with the wrong man who will torture you AND your child.

[@janefaceinthewind6260]

Then you need to do this through a doner. Don't get a real guy involved as a partner, you'll both end up profoundly unhappy.

[@danilaroche1156]

Stop dating. Take a sabbatical. Focus on personal development. Be your best self. Seek healing, comfort and fulfillment in Christ. A personal relationship with the Savior. When you do meet men..go bowling. A baseball game..bike riding. The Bible, actually Psalm 27 says this "Delight thyself in the Lord & He wil give you the desires of your heart".

[@Joy_736]

Why do you want a baby? To meet a unmet need? Kids are a LOT of work and self sacrifice that last a minimum 18 years. A child is not required to give you the love you are seeking. I agree with the others, if you are only looking to have a baby, adopt or go to a sperm donor.

[@waitwhat6882]

For me, I have to feel sexually attracted to a man too. This is not a black and white thing like he makes it sounds like. We’re not all the same.

[@wildewildestrawberries]

I must feel sexual energy for a man first. I've never been able to work on. Has to be there.

[@libertybell9594]

Agree! I'm the same way.

[@wshelby83]

Right!! Sexual attraction is necessary

[@queengoblin]

Did you miss the part where he literally says it's necessary for women to be sexually attracted too??? That was the whole talk lmao. It just happens in a different way for women.

[@winxclubstellamusa]

Sexual attraction for a woman happens AFTER the mental and emotional one. Only the male brain is wired eyes to genitals immediately, the female brain is full brain and heart to genitals.

[@flightforlight157]

Some people think I'm needy just by saying I need you But then i just watched a video about how being dependant increases a woman's estrogen

[@fsc172]

Could you expand more on the needs? Is it help?

[@milagrodominguez1408]

Thanks. Michelle and John for help us. To choose the right men . In long term relationship.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Our pleasure! Thanks for watching and for your comments Milagro!

[@milagrodominguez1408]

@@MichelleMarchantJohnson . Your welcome. Michelle.

[@zina7638]

Is these Advices only for women who are over 40 years?

[@annarodney5506]

I watched this over and over again. At least 10 times. Trying to commit it all to memory. AND I saved it. This is literally what I’ve needed…The secret sauce. And sadly, and so blatantly the truth but its a secret sauce.

[@cindy846]

This is SO interesting!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching and for your comments too Cindy!

[@d26s10]

What’s the psychology behind a guy not being sexually attracted to you instantly but still wanting and asking for sex? I don’t understand as a female how a guy can want sex with someone who they have no desire to pursue anything with as there’s no spark?

[@Countess777]

This is an interesting question.

[@kayligo]

Guys will have sex with a chair lol it’s just a release that feels good for them. It can mean less than nothing emotionally to them. Look up post orgasm regret. Joe rogan talked about it once. That their high testosterone can be like beer googles. Once they orgasm their head clears and then they see you clearly. That’s why you should Not have sex early.

[@gbone7581]

Guys arn't complicated

[@d26s10]

@@gbone7581 what’s that supposed to mean? Guys will have sex with anyone even if they see no attraction/future? As a woman, I simply could not. I need to have feelings, desire, and envision building a relationship together. Not simply a ‘hit it and quit it!’

[@queengoblin]

This is amazing thank you

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thank you for watching and for your comment too! Take care!

[@evaelizabeth6186]

Spot on dr 😊 sexual attraction is real for a guy 😊

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too Eva!

[@vtbhoward]

Needy is being in a place of moderate to severe lack, but feeling so fearful and suspicious about whether others will be able to meet your needs.

[@empriester3199]

the best advice of my life

[@kevabela6307]

Beautiful 🌹 Wonderful advice John 🌟 Thank you 🙏

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too Keryn!

[@mireillekobeissi3881]

This is just brilliant 👍

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks so much for watching and for your kind comments too Mireille!

[@maureen8745]

When he said when you're not ready and the guy is it means you're not ready it reminded me of how a doe(female deer) will run from a potential mate until she is in full rut.

[@liberatatorlontano3286]

John, I definitely agree with you! By the way, I like your new hair cut and glasses, you look younger!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@sharni888]

Buying a house and being a guest is TOTALLY 2 different things🤣🤣. One is husband material and the other is bf material. If its bf most women don't care , but just have a fling or fun. But if its a husband to be, then its a different story 🤣🤣

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Yes. That is right! Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@emeraldeyes8688]

The problem is, we as women can’t take the time to decide if their is a mutual, mental and intellectual attraction first, before getting sexual, if the man expects sex to happen first and soon. He will move on and find sex elsewhere. It’s frustrating.

[@naseeha101]

But surely the right man will respect you wanting to wait?

[@CeeceeH1819]

This is how you filter out the gooders and the no gooders. A man who has no sexual discipline is not good for a long term relationship.

[@andreamagyar7776]

If he moves on and find sex elsewhere, he wanted nothing else from you either . Yeah, let him go. Who needs that sh***?

[@julesoc9677]

Facts 🙌🏽

[@BauerBeauty]

Well I think it depends on the woman because I definitely can fall into either category in terms of attraction I can see someone physically and be physically attracted to them and know nothing about them.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

That's true. Thanks for watching!

[@IT-zx5jc]

I agree, I can feel an instant physical attraction and surge for a man I know very little about. But usually when its the other way around, thats when it will last longer.

[@newyorkdiva3]

Another great video.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too Donna!

[@timelessness924]

What are the three things

[@pamhageerty2095]

Omg ! How refreshing and honest ! Have missed your insight and talks for years. I’m going to listen to this again wow ! And order your books from long ago 🤩 Thanks Dr.Grey

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too Pam!

[@kirstylyons6328]

The house buying concept hit a nerve.. I think it's exactly my core problem

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Yes, that is a good analogy. Thanks for watching Kirsty!

[@PriyankaGupta-ew1li]

Yup! It blew awaaaay my mind..! Dating is house-hunting!😳😍✌🏻 Periaaaawwwwwd! ✌🏻😌 💯👌🏻🌟😍 Solves Everything! Aaahhhh WOW I Love this! ❤💯🌟

[@xiaomoogle]

I turned down a guy after three dates. He was more into me than I was into him. He was really kind, really nice really smart. He was attractive but I felt like something was lacking. I was still making up my mind about him when he kissed me on the second date, which then forced me to make a decision am I decision was I’m not sure and I began to focus on everything that was wrong with him. I told him I needed some time and he was totally open to that. But by the third date I felt so pressured in my head to make a decision I just ended it afterwards. And since then I thought about him every day for the last two weeks 🙃 one of my friends told me to reach back out to him. I really am not sure because I’m still not certain and I can’t ask him to meet up but with no expectations and spend time with me. I should have been more open the first time round.

[@seemashalini4187]

please meet him

[@carolmaz8675]

How is telling someone they let you down be needy ?

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

I think John is saying that complaining is not the most effective motivator to a man. Take care and thanks for watching!

[@09280215]

Excellent!!! 👍👍👍💗💗💗

[@dailydribble]

;) I was going to a movie with a fellow and as we pull up to the gate guard, he was screaming to arrest me, and screaming he is not kidding, guess I never should of answered his question on "why the light changes when the train passed" I said "cause the train passed" and the screaming started.

[@swim610]

John is so wise!

[@donnafletcher5386]

John, I met a guy and our eyes lock as if we both can see through each other's souls. This happens often when we look at each other. It's like time is in slow motion. What does this mean?

[@muskanhira763]

Wait for the guy to chase you. Be approachable but don't be too available. Let men do the hard job. Just sit and do your thing girlll

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

It means there is attraction and possibility for more, but a real lasting relationship takes time so enjoy it, but take things slowly. Thanks for watching Donna!

[@shantellbraynen8910]

Introduce yourself and give him a nice compliment. Or find something interesting and intriguing about him and share it with him.

[@utualan]

Head, heart and ... Very good. Oh, not in that order for us men.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

That's funny Alan! Good comment and thanks for watching too!

[@janespencer8875]

If a man doesn't keep to his side of the bargain, he betrays trust. Why reward this bad behaviour? Surely this will only encourage him to repeat the behaviour?

[@frandab1590]

Then it's up to you to respect yourself enough to either leave or forgive him and try again. Could you imagine your life without him. From there decide if he worth it or not.

[@janespencer8875]

@@frandab1590 I

[@hajarf1071]

Wow this guy!!! why I didn’t listen to him before! This my first time I feel someone makes me really understand the dynamic between man and woman but understands men too. and the beautiful thing that he understands “ me” more than myself lol

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching Hajar and for your comments too!

[@ilsewenzel9046]

John I am terrified. My man who is presently in London and will be coming here very soon. We are both older but he is younger than I. He's very handsome and I am heavy, have physical ailments (he knows about most of these) am grey and have a hard time walking. He says he is in love and none of these things bother him. John how can I bare myself for intimacy. Will he even be attracted to me?

[@EadsB7002]

Sorry but i totally disagree @ 14:00 .... dating someone you aren't attracted to just spells disaster in the long run! And i know from experience unfortunately. If you pick a guy you aren't attracted to/have no sexual chemistry with, you run the risk of the relationship becoming (or continuing) to be completely platonic! If you don't feel like you wanna sleep with the guy from the start, theres an enormous possibility you never will. I learned the hard way (as i ended up in a friendship-based, sexless marriage)- and he was/is a GREAT guy! Very difficult and disappointing situation. This is why i would never , ever recommend a woman date someone she isn't attracted to. What i've realized is that we as women need to feel attracted from the start (to ensure a romantic connection), and then build slowly and carefully from there. Take your time and really get to know the man on ALL levels before committing.

[@YesNo-dm4dx]

I think John means you shouldn't be too attracted to them, as in very eager and wanting to please him at all costs. I don't think he means we should date a man we find repulsive, but sometimes we (women) lose ourselves chasing after some man we find "hot" but we shouldn't pick the hot ones and pursue them, we should let the good guy who wants to please US show up! And we will find him attractive for the right reasons i.e. because he makes us feel good! As opposed to the "bad boys" who trigger our insecurities.

[@susandavismt-bc5273]

Totally . Separating from 17 years of trying to find a spark with the guy that was “good for me” ... extremely lonely

[@YesNo-dm4dx]

I don't think John is advocating being with someone you're not in love with. We all know and/or have been that woman who runs back and forth for a guy who acts passive or cold or even mean towards her and that kind of relationship never lasts and always ends up in resentment. Sleep with the man you like, just don't go pursuing him because if he's not pursuing you there's something wrong there and it will not make you happy.

[@EadsB7002]

So sorry Susan. Completely understand what you’re going through. It is a very disheartening situation to be in. 15 years here. He is a good man and has been a good companion to me. I am attached to him (as distinct from attracted) and so moving on is not an easy feat. Just so many reasons why I would never ever recommend anyone date someone they aren’t attracted to/not in love with. I don’t want others to go through this same type of ordeal!

[@glowsprite]

I am dating a gentleman who has completely me over with trust/reliability/his own integrity. He is physically against my type. However, my brain and heart are so soft, the rest of my responses align. 💕

[@theluckycattarot8168]

John gray is simply the best 🌟⚡💙 best valuable information

[@kellybarnes9434]

Fantastic! Thank you for this. 😍

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks so much for watching Kelly and for your comments too!

[@jeanettekniebusch9812]

I thought when you almost cant see their flaws at first or make excuses for them.

[@oliviahopedesantos5855]

Maybe make the différence between flaws n things u dont like I hate sweat but sweat is not a flaw ^_^

[@YesNo-dm4dx]

I love John Gray ❤

[@yannaiivettelozano4572]

Because of this man I've decided to give one of my guy friends a chance. Thank you for helping us all understand! There's just one thing I'm still not sure about. My guy friend is a very caring and respectful man but there was this one occasion where he mentioned in conversation with a group of friends that for his future family he would give JUST enough. I don't want to be looking at flaws but could this be a concern? Does this mean he will give me JUST enough as well?🧐🤔

[@blueangel7125]

He might be a "covert Narcissist", you can get the info here on KZbin, be very careful, they're the most dangerous !

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for sharing too! Good luck!

[@queengoblin]

Yes always listen to a man when he tells you who he is. Take him seriously.

[@chrysichrysi7889]

Agree with everything EXCEPT the part about taking the guy you're NOT attracted to, neither like nor want just because he's doing everything for you. Been there done that and it costed me all in all about 15 years of my life that I'll never get back because he is a straight up PSYCHO whom I had to flee from. Therefore I can't stress enough how wrong and damaging that said philosophy is. I am convinced that there needs....HAS TO BE some genuine real strong attraction on quite a few levels for that to work and don't believe that any woman should have to settle for less than that. The guy who's interessted can still do everything for women...thats on him....but when he feels that he is therefore entitled to be in a relationship with you because of that, is where the line needs to be drawn with a super thick sharpie!!!!!

[@yogavidasaludable]

Great advise!Thank you!!!☺️

[@cesttmoii]

Right you know I know women who do this to not only men but everyone they feel close with. And it pushes me away as well eventually. Needy pushes anyone away and nagging.

[@yolandadavidson9871]

I’m not sure about a lot of this. I think there are also healthy boundaries and we shouldn’t let people walk over or take advantage of us.

[@tifffteal]

So, what turns a guy on is coming home late on the day of a party without texting or calling to let her know AND not bringing the supplies he was supposed to bring and NOT catching an attitude about it from his stressed out worried wife?🙄

[@alisonshapiro3847]

Right! But be late getting dinner on the table and see how the men react.

[@tifffteal]

@@alisonshapiro3847 They are dumbfounded at best! "What did you do all day?? Why isn't supper done?!" 🙄

[@blissbaby1374]

How does he know all of this???! 🤯

[@MariaMedina-lj4kt]

So let me know if I got it right: we're supposed to go out with men we're not attracted to and with whom we don't even want to have sex in order to have a boost in estrogen levels so we can feel worthy? Go out with guys we will never want anything with?

[@EadsB7002]

nooooooo mam don't do it!! I agree with a lot of what he is saying, but i completely disagree with this assumption/recommendation! How do i know? i am in the process of leaving a marriage (to someone i was not attracted to in the beginning). Not an easy situation, especially given that he is a great guy! I will tell any woman that you ABSOLUTELY need to feel attracted to the man from the start, but then take plenty of time in getting to know each other.....else you end up a lot like me-- in a sexless marriage with a friend! Feeling attraction and desire for a man helps to ensure a romantic connection! Key word being romantic!

[@Thekingsdota]

Listen to the message again..its not this simplistic

[@MariaMedina-lj4kt]

@@EadsB7002 I wouldn't do it. I mean, I can go out with a man who I don't feel attracted to, I have before, but not with the intention of the video. We know men and women aren't often friends, but it is possible to go out with a man solely as friends. Honestly, with me physical attraction is very rarely immediate. I need to know the person a little better for me to feel attracted. Even when they're very good looking, it's like I don't allow myself to feel attracted before I get to find out if the man has other traits I find attractive. But one thing is for sure, I would never have a sexual relationship with a man I don't feel attracted to.

[@MariaMedina-lj4kt]

@@Thekingsdota well, that's what I got from it, and that's why I was honestly asking if I got it right. And if not, then what does Dr. Gray mean? Because I think it's dishonest to go out with men we aren't willing to give anything just so we can feel better about ourselves. I would hate that someone did it to me, even though I know men also use women like that (ego boosts).

[@Thekingsdota]

@@MariaMedina-lj4kt your presence is all a man needs .when you say you are not giving him anything, that is the masculine role .a proper understanding of your true value will solve any confusion. Be well.

[@Dreams_Of_Purpose]

👏 🙀 amazing! I'm shook in the best way

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

I'm glad you like it Rebecca! Thanks for watching!

[@TracyYvon888]

Genius