John’s Dementia vlog - July 10, 2024 - planning to move to one level living

A Vlog entry where I talk about how I'm going to reconfigure the house so that we will be living on one floor, but turning a dining room into a living room.
Please follow my Dementia Care blog: www.fridayswit...

[@LuckyDawgProductionsModerator]

Good job on making things safer and easier for Heather, and you, too. Bob and I send blessings to you both.

[@Starseed-r9p]

i found it such a huge help. Sadly i nursed my husband alone during Covid so had no support. I also installed nanny cam so when i was in the kitchen or anywhere else in the house i could see and hear him.

[@mosesslc]

Ton of work but things will be much safer and convenient. Hang in brother, we admire you more than you know.🙏

[@lenoramorris5375]

She’s blessed to have you. I kept my mom for 4 years….it was so very hard. She unlocked the door twice and ran away. Thank God she didn’t leave the yard…changed the locks to solve that issue

[@Craftylisa69]

John you are doing such a wonderful thing caring for Heather . You are a team and so devoted to what’s best for Heather. Know that it’s precious real love in action . Sending much love from the Uk .

[@janonthelam3418]

So many people think they are putting other’s priorities first when they are not. I so admire your sailing strategies, John. May you find fair winds. 👍🏼♥️🇨🇦

[@JohnvanGurp]

Thanks 👍

[@user-fs6ou3fk9p]

Great idea!

[@user-lz1tc2id8x]

It's wonderful you're thinking ahead! We can feel your love for Heather! 💞

[@bongolution123]

May the good Lord continue to pour into your cup my friend and give you strength and patience 🙏. You are one heck of of partner father and you my friend are exemplary of what for better for worse means. Heather is very fortunate to have given you her heart ❤️. Love always my friend

[@alisoncooper1864]

Great plan ! You are an amazing husband Heather may no longer be able to tell you, but you can see she is happy and feels safe with you being there for her. Keep up the good work !

[@JohnvanGurp]

My goal in keeping her home is to keep her feeling safe and comfortable.

[@alisoncooper1864]

@@JohnvanGurp And that you are ! My grandfather did that with my grandma. It is by far the best way, where possible.

[@cremebrulee4759]

You're such a good husband and a good caregiver! I wanted to mention that I have seen blinds that you can open the top and leave the bottom closed. I don't know how to explain it very well. They work to allow light in the room from the upper window while maintaining privacy in the lower window. Best of luck to you. You're dealing with a lot.

[@hollyholmes1392]

That looks like a great plan, John.

[@drinajgb2437]

Constantly adjusting the sails. Yes indeed.

[@linda4853]

God bless you John. You are both in my prayers.

[@cherrie1188]

I sincerely hope that her life, as she knows it now, will not be too upsetting and confusing by the changes being made in her home. 💜

[@JohnvanGurp]

Totally flexible… It’s great.

[@joduette]

You got to do what you got to do. Good job.

[@rebeccashoemaker4443]

Thank you for the sailing strategy! Blessings to you & Heather.

[@juliamundt101]

We moved to a smaller single level home due to my husband’s tremors/stiffness and dementia. He has the master bedroom with bathroom. I use the guest bedroom and hall bathroom. It was the best decision and I am glad I did it in 2021 before he got worse.

[@antoinettecastle4739]

Good plan I hope it goes really well.🤞🤞🤞

[@b0borden437]

We got mom a hospital bed and the dr gave us a script and ins paid for it. She wouldn't be able to get out of bed without it. I hear you on the shifts. Every other week is my 'new' normal.

[@JohnvanGurp]

Every week is a new normal, yes!

[@LifeBirthtoDeathbyLynn]

This can be an emotional transition. And there are lots of other transitions, too. Well, we all may have some similar details and some different details or know those who are going through similar. Life can certainly be unique and everyone seems to be going through something. Sometimes, it's not a 'roller coaster' but rather a moment to moment ... living in the moment. Let's just say that I am SO happy that I saw you on my home page. I have no aptitude nor interest in social media but will, in time, possibly do a bit of something here on YT ... and ...WELL, I can for sure say that you are not alone and I think it is good that we remind each other of this. Also, some issues are uniquely aggressive or challenging or may seem that way. You know best for you both. Your humble, educational, and compassionate sharing are very inspirational. Keep making memories. Love your vlogs and I took a look at your website, also very good!

[@JohnvanGurp]

@@LifeBirthtoDeathbyLynn thank you very kindly.

[@lesliedelp3565]

Those are great plans! We planned for this when we bought our last home, all one floor with walk in showers etc, and we are now on a wait list for a home in a 4 level care retirement village. The wait list is 5 years on average to get in but once you are, you can age in place! My hubbie and I age daily. I wish you blessings, your home is so cozy!❤🙏🏻

[@wendingourway]

Doing an amazing thing!! Wonderful that you have a downstairs bath. All the very best! Know the struggle.

[@michelepaccione8806]

You’re doing such a good job. A couple of things to watch out for, based on my experience with my mom…take a look around and remove things on the floor that your wife might trip over. Power cords, footstools, or other items on the floor. Unfortunately my mom tripped over my dad’s footstool and broke her hip. The ensuing major surgeries hastened her dementia. Climbing stairs was also an issue…she’d fallen down the stairs and my dad had kept quiet about it.

[@sherrieh2062]

She’s so lucky to have you.

[@bookacinjin387]

You are amazing❤

[@marilynroberts6644]

Excellent plans John. Staying on one floor is going to be a huge help to both of you. I did the same thing for my Mom and it was a lifesaver. You certainly are' on top of things '.

[@precioushopeatchison]

Prayers for you and your wife. God bless you as you navigate these changes.

[@debbiebrooks8216]

God bless you

[@PorkChopPiper-ln4uw]

Great Job John. Stay Strong

[@LaurieClausen]

thank you for sharing your journey.

[@2raelanae]

Me and my husband just went to separate beds and it has helped a lot ! I love your attitude… adjusting the sail…. So true🙏👍😊

[@JohnvanGurp]

I think separate beds is coming up very, very soon! I’ve just converted my dining room into a potential bedroom by adding a door and removing all the furniture. That way we can both live on one floor, maintain one bathroom, avoid stairs up and down and basically simplify everything. Having separate beds will be a big benefit as well. I think not just for the lowered disturbance but to make laundry easier when the bed is soiled.

[@rrichardson53]

My husband slept in a separate bedroom close to the master. We have a one level home so I haven’t had to make any interior changes when his dementia got worse (he’s in MC now).

[@lauraanderson7492]

Good idea, Your a great husband

[@chickadeeacres3864]

Smart move. It sure beats moving to a bungalow. With all us boomers looking for one level living, they aren’t easy to find.

[@GrandadsOtherChannel]

Thank you for sharing, John ❤

[@vyveannefrancis7170]

All the best, John, to you and your wife. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[@deborahmaehs7604]

John, we purchased a bar that goes between the mattress and box springs. It gives my spouse something to hold onto when getting in and out of bed. That might be another thing that would help your wife.

[@JohnvanGurp]

Yes! I bought one of those about a week ago and it seems to be helping. Heather actually relies on it getting in and out of bed. It’s a great product.

[@deborahmaehs7604]

@@JohnvanGurp Sometimes I also need to use his gate belt to help pull him up in the morning. That can really come in handy as well.

[@justChrisjones]

Very nice planning. I love projects. Introverts are good at this stuff. God bless ❤

[@grabowskycountry]

Hello John & Heather. Just found your channel and have great compassion with your journeys. We have been through this with my husband’s mother till she needed to be placed in care. It seemed so heart wrenching while we watched mom fade away, she was diagnosed at 54 (lost our dear father (her husband) a few years later) and within a few years the Alzheimer’s progressed so quickly she was no longer able to walk. She hadn’t been doing anything for herself for a couple years by this time. Keeping a depends on was impossible and her temper was quick. For her safety we knew that the time had come to ask for outside help and found a wonderful centre in Edmonton for mom to reside. I hope you are able to use respite care or have someone come in to help when you can or the moments are difficult. We need to keep our health also. Will be following along with you. Blessings & Cheers to you both. 🤗

[@JohnvanGurp]

Thank you for your comment. 54… That’s just brutal and wrong. I feel sorry for people who have some uncooperative behaviours from their loved ones. I guess I’m lucky in that regard, as Heather is very placid and easy to take care of. I do take advantage of a local daycare program a few times a week, and sometimes someone comes in and gives me a few hours rest as well however that’s usually filled with errands and shopping and busyness. I really appreciate your comments, thank you.

[@Straight0uttaCrofton]

just like Ricky and Lucy

[@CynthiaWord-iq7in]

...Rob and Laura Petry.

[@martyl7066]

Hi! buddy, I'm a new subscriber to your channel. My partner has been dealling with Alzheimers, Dementia and Parkenson's since 2018. My partner is now in stage 6 and getting worse....;-( I love watching your channel. Being a 24/7 is a heard work for people like us. I would love to keep in contact with sometime by Zoom. Thanks for all the wonderful videos--take care. God Bless! Mar

[@JohnvanGurp]

@@martyl7066 thanks so much for your comments!

[@WdawgSmith]

Good idea John I think maybe it sounds a little patronizing for me to say this but at least it seems like heather is able to keep a sleep schedule It would be a nightmare if she didn’t want to sleep or wanted to sleep during the day and be up all night So like I said I know that sounds sort of simple and maybe it’s hard to appreciate that AND maybe she does have issues with that and i just haven’t heard it from you But if she doesn’t I think that’s something for the good column I’m a long winded commenter Sorry John Take care buddy

[@JohnvanGurp]

No, I really appreciate your comments! Yes, she’s an excellent sleeper for the most part… Gets up for a pee most nights, but that’s OK.

[@sheilagadde5975]

Please. Let her go. Please, find a good Dementia Unit for her.

[@JohnvanGurp]

Why? I don’t see any need for it and I’m pretty sure I can provide better quality care here at home for her than in a facility.

[@debbienash4170]

I think John has made a good decision to keep Heather at home as long as he is able to care for her. He has a good support system and he knows the reality of Heather’s dementia. He’s taking great care of her in her own home. I think it would be extremely hard on her at this particular stage in her dementia to place her in totally unfamiliar surroundings. John and Heather don’t seem to be at that point in their journey. I think John will know when that decision has to be made. She’s getting better care at home and is surrounded by love. I don’t think it’s helpful to him to get comments like yours. You may be well meaning but in this situation one size does not fit all. Hope you are not offended by my response to your comment.

[@JohnvanGurp]

@debbienash4170 love it, awesome comment. Thank you for understanding and explaining my situation here.

[@margariteolmos3457]

Best of luck. Not easy.

[@cindifischer6919]

It's not your decision. End of discussion.

[@sheilagadde5975]

When will you let her go?

[@JohnvanGurp]

To a care facility? If it gets to the point where I’m unable to care for her safely here at home, I’ll start the process.