If Toddlers Had Lawyers ft.

"My client would like no less that four pouches a day...and no prune!" Comedian John Crist teams up with Dude Dad Taylor Calmus to imagine what it would be like If Toddlers Had Lawyers!
John Crist is a standup comedian. For live tour dates, visit www.johncristco...

[@Silver-cl2bd]

When the dad stopped referring to the toddler as his son and addressed him as, "Your client" 😂

[@richardmahn7589]

That's what we do best. When my son plays sports, he is the goalie, not my son! lol

[@Silver-cl2bd]

@@richardmahn7589 😆

[@chrismill5303]

that kid looks really serious, though.

[@claraamong2104]

😅😂

[@joyphinney3729]

This is the role that John Crist was born to play. Special counsel to a toddler. I love it.

[@placefeature5329]

Yeah this is so good.

[@Steviee]

As a legal videographer, I have to say that the lawyer throwing a tantrum is actually pretty spot on

[@dianalongo6154]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ELOAAMinistries]

IKR! I used to work in the attorneys building downtown! Rofl!

[@AnimefortheLazyman]

And as a parent of boys, I have to say the desire of Them to restart breast feeding if they see their little brother doing it is also real 😂 Our girl couldn’t care less😂

[@sujarandy]

Jesus is Lord! He paid for your sins! By the way, we were all sinners. (that’s our nature without God) Since we sin, we deserve a punishment and that punishment is death. However, Jesus saved us from that penalty. Jesus died a very bad death for you. He was nailed to a cross. Jesus took our punishment even though He didn’t have to. He never sinned. (He didn’t deserve death) God (YAHWEH) wants your heart because He loves you. Jesus was the perfect Lamb to sacrifice because He had no blemish. In other words, Jesus never sinned but He died for our sins. He paid the fines for our sins. That’s so crazy because we sin so much in our daily lives! He saved us from sin! He rose from the dead by the power of the Holy Spirit! Jesus was sent by God because He’s God’s own son! He was filled with the Precious Holy Spirit (God’s Spirit) so He had the power over sin! We can receive the Holy Spirit if we do these things: 1. Admit we are a sinner and repent from your sins (turn away from sin) 2. Believe that Jesus is God and He died for you and rose for you 3. Confess that Jesus is Lord. I love you, please take this into action. God loves you, Jesus loves you and the Holy Spirit loves you! You were in Their mind before creation. If you do these things you can have eternal life with God in Heaven! Look at creation, you can tell that there is a creator, the proof: creation. In the same way you know that there was a painter because you can see the painting. God is real and He’s coming to judge the world. It’s not by our own works we get saved but the works of Jesus Christ. Put your trust in Jesus and let the Holy Spirit lead your lives! I love you all, that’s why I am sharing this! I don’t anyone to go to hell! God bless you! Read the Bible!❤️🔥🕊😃

[@justjoshinknox]

John throwing a tantrum is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week!😂😂😂

[@cherik.]

That's my favorite part too. Especially when he said "I'm throwing a tantrum on the behalf of my client"! 😂

[@MinyMiny]

We need a part two for that cat 😆 definitely looks guilty

[@LaCantressa]

Oh, no. You do not want to go up against the kitty!

[@uknw1952]

😄 right 😄

[@threetreasures7698]

The cat has already lawyered up! 😂

[@LoveAngelMusicLady]

@@threetreasures7698I want to see the cat lawyer!

[@ladennayoung2939]

Yeah. That cat looked guilty. Lol.

[@liliarosales1961]

LOL the little ones face during the whole thing is amazing

[@msdiva7099]

Funniest thing ever! As a. Grandma to a toddler- I could definitely see this being a thing.. “give the frozen stuff to the new kid “😅 priceless 😂

[@naowright9308]

The small smile after his mother said, "He'll just be sitting in it. That's gross." Had me cracking up. Great editing!😂

[@kdubbswinston3673]

I've worked in a law firm for about 24 years and I'm here to tell you, BRAVO!!! 👏😂😂😂 I can actually see this happening and truly going to trial!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂 Thank you for the laugh! The cute boy was perfect!!! 💯😉🥰💪🙌

[@JaneDoe-ip5yl]

"the frozen stuff to the new baby"😆 very good

[@danieldishon688]

I wasn't sure how to expect this to end but when you threw a tantrum and negotiated with a single Dumdum suckered I burst out laughing 😆

[@cowboys1960]

Me too. I knew he would accept that counteroffer. Let little kids pick their own Halloween candy and they'll pick a dumdum over anything else in the bowl.

[@missj9879]

I don’t care what anyone says, this baby should be signed up for acting now. He did so well sitting there while recording this video. 😅

[@MishaMishaSoprano]

Save up for future therapy bills. 😂

[@MishaMishaSoprano]

Cat definitely looked like he was going to dish out some street justice, later that night. Snitches get stitches, baby. Snitches. Get. Stitches.

[@setapartaay925]

Bwhahahaha!! The way he fixed his tie after the tantrum was too funny! 😆😆

[@ohnoitsevan]

As someone who works in a daycare and works with 2/3 year olds, this is absolutely hilarious 😂

[@sharonrudolph3648]

I work with 1 yr olds!!! Totally agree!

[@artugert]

I usually call them 8 month olds, but if you want to call them ⅔ year olds, that's cool too.

[@patrickd9551]

@@JasonShoots negotiation usually starts at one and ends at three :D I usually win.

[@Dan-yy6tt]

I don’t work with kids so I have no idea what any of these jokes mean. Can you explain them?

[@midknight5812]

​@@artugertthat wasn't "two thirds year old" she means 2 or 3 year old. Lmao

[@glamgal28]

I had to watch this several times over, and I think John is acting more like a toddler than the real toddler is😂

[@tiamc2004]

😂😂

[@CDneat]

The baby’s face when he starts throwing the tantrum is classic sketch comedy. Then his face when he sees the dum dum is poetic justice. Comedy gold…

[@lizettemuna3234]

When he started throwing a tantrum on behalf of his client, I lost it. 😂😂😂

[@coachloporchio8122]

Hilarious! As a grandparent as a 2 year old, this strikes home like no other😂

[@Brandonreisinger]

My wife and I miscarried our first child on Thursday and this video brought so much joy, laughter and healing! Thank you John 🙏🏻

[@kdonor]

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

[@Lighterinma]

Sorry for your loss.

[@Standingupstrong993]

I’m so sorry for your loss.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@delissacooper7384]

Many prayers for your wife and you. May you be surrounded by others who can understand & support you both. May God bless you with much strength, grace & love with one another in healing from such a painful loss. God is working, don't give up on what He is planning for you. We all have our Winter, our storms, but God is working behind the scenes--preparing us, building us up for the blessings that follow.

[@jjproductions5500]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened. Praying for peace, healing, and that the Lord surrounds you with His love.

[@annaconserva6233]

Absolutely hilarious! How did you even got this idea? Genius.. Loved the counter offer 🤣🤣

[@MeMe-mt6xv]

The toddler is so adorable!!!❤

[@glamgal28]

If John ever gets tired of comedy he would make a great attorney😂

[@stephandalton2390]

He could def be on Law and Order or something

[@glamgal28]

@@stephandalton2390 yes!

[@MJBJ-cb2jd]

What's the diff?

[@MishaMishaSoprano]

😂

[@ladennayoung2939]

​@@stephandalton2390Yep. I would agree.

[@AleaGutierrez-hl7qs]

Well Attorney's fees and time spent, etc etc had to be covered by the parents of the client!! Cute little one you and your Lawyer deserve an Oscar!

[@debbiegum2226]

Love this collab!! So cute!! Candy always makes the best bribe… I mean negotiation tool!!

[@janavos9901]

It makes me so delighted when my favourite KZbinrs collaborate!! You guys have such a great sense of humour, this was the perfect match! Hilarious, well done, John, Taylor & Heidi!

[@belencantu7200]

So funny and on point. If toddlers could… more of a scary world! They run the roost already!

[@greatmindsthinkalike1378]

I think that would be a great idea, and get the real dums dums out! 👍

[@oliviavaleria]

I need more outtakes!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@mszafran51]

I just can’t! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is too cute and hilarious!!! The lollipop got me! 😀😀

[@shartazokhan1043]

This needs a part two, lawyer vs grandma.

[@jbsargent1396]

This is comedy gold…😂

[@R.C.425]

Haha 😂 😄 🤣 😆 so awesome Part II please 🙏 the cat was not happy 😅

[@Happybidr]

This was so funny. We are a lawyer family and it sounds a bit like what our conversations devolved into after a few glasses of wine. There’s a lot of “Your Honor! (Exasperated voice) Objection! (Outraged) Argumentative!” And so on,

[@BobbiGail]

This would be a funny evening to be witness!

[@natergreater9981]

It’s a good day when John uploads!!🎉🎉

[@alil8270]

I love the expressions on the little bub's face. So accurate.

[@j.w.stevenson8510]

The best collaboration of my day .Great job!

[@namesake8075]

This is one of the best court room dramas I have ever seen.

[@BombshElle_7]

The kids already have 2 body guards/security. Now they have a lawyer! 😆

[@lyndseystrait1513]

😂 Very creative & uniquely funny skit! The sibling rivalry started young with the client I guess! The demands were hilarious & the parents’ responses were great too!

[@MrSharpdrop]

So...the Dumdum was the endgame the WHOLE TIME?!?! Well played, Mr. Crist. Well played!

[@melissasaco9469]

The ironic part is someone was probably holding up a tablet with Cocomelon on it so he would sit still for the filming 😂.

[@Gazpolling]

The only more epic thing other than this video is if the baby's lawyer coming in at the end

[@schadowolf]

I laughed so hard, EPIC!!!

[@carolinelvsewe]

John, YOU are quite the prophet of new norm culture! 🤣🤣

[@melissaz8166]

this is AMAZING! such a great concept. would LOVE to see more behind the scenes and bloopers!!

[@cherik.]

Yes!!! I would love to see the bloopers too!!! 🤣

[@curtisshoemaker9568]

That was awesome! I saw the shorter version in Instagram, but this is so much better! Great job!

[@oniarrca9431]

"I'm your toddler's attorney" *goes for shovel to bury intruder's body in backyard* "See, honey, problem solved" 🤣

[@lillianjacobs4855]

Aaaaah this is adorable 🥰 hehe just to get a sucker sweet 🤣 he used a lawyer 😅 thanks this made my day......

[@shelteredsparrow2736]

Lol. I taught 2 year old Sunday school and it was truly interesting. One time I told a little boy that he was being good. He got mad and said “no I am not!” It is truly an interesting age.

[@placefeature5329]

lol. Always good hearing about fellow Christan’s

[@pamelas1002]

This is what I've missed from John! Hilarious!

[@jennjack4131]

I can watch this over and over!😂😂😂

[@UncleNath]

I like the outtake at the end. You should have more of these it's fun. Love ya work brother. One of ya many fans in Australia.

[@julieporter7805]

During the tantrum, the baby looked like "Pfft, amateur. Step aside and let the pro do this!" The client should have held out for two DumDums

[@lizpromontionals1022]

Lol I loved how well the kid matched with what he was saying.

[@cutiepie71181]

This was HILARIOUSLY GENIUS! I loved this!!

[@HomeLifewithRebecca]

This was adorable! I love dude dad and I love your content as well AND you look really good in a suit!!! 😊

[@MilissaRamlakhan-ly6gf]

John is such multi-talented comedian..just love him!❤❤

[@Ancient_Oracle]

This is way too good😂😂😂😂

[@KCL81_aw]

The burden of proof is on the cat! Lmao 😂😂 That was good! 😁🙏❤️🇺🇸

[@eml818-l3b]

This is great! One of both you and johns bests!

[@ADDAuntDawnDisorder]

WAIT! DUM DUMS ARE A CHOKING HAZARD!? NO DUMS DUMS! This is amazing! These two guys are the best & Heidi finishes off the skits to make them work perfectly:) 🙏💪🙌🥰

[@samanthajo1987]

One of the best videos on KZbin!

[@liahrene4020]

Destined to become a classic 😂

[@apolcore]

One of the funniest videos I've ever seen. Love it! Thank you!

[@TheBlinkyImp]

OMG the close ups of the kid's face kill me

[@jenc237]

We had a wipe warmer... HAHHAHAH!

[@Preciselylate322]

Ok this is fantastic 😂😂😂

[@lindasonnemaker4917]

Love this! All of you!!!

[@jcatfishn1]

JC and Dude Dad== epic

[@keishaguilford2170]

The look on that cats face. Priceless😂😂😂😂😂

[@homesteadgamer1257]

Aw Little Client looks JUST like mama. Too cute!

[@OfficialSamanthaMartin]

😂😂 Part 2, 7, 20 please 😭 I would watch them all lol

[@shelleydonath9025]

This is great I'm lmao 😂😂. My favorite so far 😂😁🔥🥃

[@TivaC]

LOVE this!

[@lionstripe42]

Wheres the lawyer for the cat?

[@jessicacarmen2458]

This is the crossover i didn't know i needed until now

[@someguy_7765]

Dude. This is the most hilarious video I’ve seen in like.. 2 years. Keep it up bro. You’re crushing it.

[@audreywoodcock3869]

So creative! I was worried you were going to have to call witnesses like Granma ha ha! Glad you reached a settlement🤞

[@carolynbillington9018]

happy hour watch a John Crist video still laughing after watching

[@brother-In-Christ404]

One of the best features! DudeDad is hilarious

[@aliciafigueroa2769]

@johnbcrist omgsh 🎉I was having a bad day and stumbled upon this video. This video really made me laugh several times. Love all the performances ❤😊 “ the cold wipes unfortunately startle him” lmao😅

[@daphne3631]

That was so funny and ingenious!

[@mansourehdehghani9456]

My toddler also feels she can sleep better if she kicks us in the ribs.🤣🤣🤣

[@pamlovell9125]

Feed the frozen stuff to the baby!!! LOL 😂

[@Proudme04]

Feed the frozen stuff to the new baby LOOOOL

[@NathanielBrown05]

The music tho😂

[@joyj3286]

Love this. Toddler looks just like both parents adorbs. ❤

[@HeKenMars4Ever]

This is the best comedy skit, maybe the best video, I have EVER seen.

[@RoCas80]

Great job John!

[@BunnyRabit-yo3lx]

LOL. Pretty funny. Please make more! I especially love the ending. Was actually quite realistic I think.😀

[@jenessasaeger1182]

The Collab we didn't know we needed.....😂

[@mohamedismail5974]

Bless you all 😂😂😂

[@karolhosey9489]

John this is so hilarious!! You are very versatile! Love ya John!

[@nicolegregory4429]

From now on my win tactic is TANTRUM. Tantrum for the win… when a Dum-Dum is not on the table. ~N

[@monty-365]

HILARIOUS! Love this!♥️But I didn’t know where negations were going🤣🙌🏽♥️

[@dellascott163]

The little boy must be one of the cutest kids I'd ever seen. I just started listening to John and I am hooked.

[@saphiranahabwe4527]

After that very strong case and almost winning and you take a small small bribe😂

[@atashajordan]

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever watched 😂😂😂😂

[@vendingguy47]

That's hilarious!!!!!

[@JohnAbdulEichie]

I loved this more of this please