I’m 37 and Don’t Have Any Friends

[@HaleyStark.]

I miss kindergarten when you could just be like, "Oh hey we're both wearing green. Want to be friends?"

[@minkaaa7]

I might try this line at church tomorrow 😂

[@Anangelfromabove]

Awh 🥺

[@cashblackmon]

Exactly how I met my best friend in first grade

[@spencerhall6744]

Facts😂 literally in kindergarten my first friend was cause I said “hey wanna be friends” and we became best friends and now I can’t talk to people

[@phactress891]

legit!

[@charlenemetcalf4290]

I'm 72 years old and only have 2 friends. Most people you meet are just acquaintances. If you only have 1 true friend in life you are lucky.

[@Yollm47]

My grandma is 79, and as far as I can remember she would always say the same, “you will be lucky to have 1 true friend in your whole life”

[@maryjojouwstra3860]

I had one best friend and last summer she passed away. She was slowly going downhill and I’d try to get her to care, and do things with her. But she just didn’t care anymore. More than once she said she just wanted to died. Her kids had to put her in Hospice and after that she went pretty fast. She was 86, I’m 75. Thank God I have a part time job, otherwise I wouldn’t talk to anybody except going to the store. My kids are busy, I don’t expect to see them or talk to them, I call them, but when I do, and it’s not very often, they sound like they need to get going. One phone call a month, maybe. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@charlenemetcalf4246]

MaryJo I am so saddened to hear that. I pray that someone will come into your life to fill that void. I'm seriously thinking of going to the senior center here in town and see if I can make some acquaintances there and maybe find a friend through that. Remember that you are truly never alone though as I'm sure your friend looks over you to see that you are safe. Wishing nothing but the best for you. God Bless

[@maryjojouwstra3860]

@@charlenemetcalf4246 thank you, you’re very kind.

[@radius4914]

Frrrr

[@Nepthu]

I had no friends in my 20s. I mostly heard about women looking for friendships, but not men, so I felt extra awkward for a whole decade! In my 30s, I started boxing as a hobby. I now have four friends who hang out on a regular basis. We workout, spar and watch UFC together. It's been amazing to finally be "one of the guys" rather than the odd man out.

[@chelschels7779]

im so happy for you! social hobbies help greatly :)

[@RG-hf4et]

Having a hobby or new interest in a hobby is a great way to make friends. Common interests really make a difference!!

[@lilacspring2556]

Be the man that is asking, be the change you want to see in the world

[@chaxologist2024]

Martial arts is almost always guaranteed to make friends. You are forced to put your phone away, engage in healthy habits, concentration and cooperation!

[@Kamingo170]

martial arts is one of the best ways to meet genuinely good people. The bad ones are usually weeded out from most gyms as well

[@mlovespring7892]

I am 42, and I am done with shallow friends! All we need is a few good friends who are as true to you as you are to them.

[@andytaylor1588]

I heart that comment!

[@bdowiemama3310]

@@Thatperson2-u7u Agreed. I thought I had "true" friends and a lot of times you grow apart still. They will just replace you with someone else.

[@liveyourbestlife143]

I am 42 year old and my only friend is my husband. And I am his only friend.

[@Positiveenergy68]

I only have a few friends, but that’s by design. I seriously get tired of all the drama with some people.

[@tanyasoto1214]

True friends are hard to find but easy to keep.

[@JewelBlueIbanez]

Shy and awkward people unite!

[@1denverd]

... separately in our own homes. 🤪

[@unnamedchannel1237]

Wizards unite

[@chinwenduchinwe586]

​@@unnamedchannel1237 🔥🔥

[@Collidedatoms]

At least we're not dyslexics... then we'd have to untie. .... I'll see myself out.

[@ForeverXawesome44]

Present

[@Addison737]

My heart broke hearing her story of being forced into an abortion. If she’s reading this, there are many support groups out there who gather women with similar stories, and offer opportunities to talk through and heal together from the trauma. You’re never alone ❤

[@annamineer2521]

I was too, at 18 years old, by my husband who was 9 years older than me. He wasn't "ready" to be a father. He should not have even been messing with me when I was only 17 and he was 26. The worthless pos still has nothing at 65 years old. I wasted 15 years, except for my children.

[@benmyers9030]

"Forced" lol. Grow up. She was a big girl when she killed her child. I hope she never gets a moments peace in this life. I don't envy her what comes after

[@IloveJesus777j77]

​@@annamineer2521Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].

[@woohyukikkoku]

He showed some real empathy and compassion. I appreciate that he validated her experiences and shared how he’s felt the same way. Well done, Dr. John.

[@DCamp1271]

So important!

[@rlrieth]

Dr John is so amazing.

[@trishachaudhuri9586]

True. So important because sometimes all that you need to hear is "I get it. I understand."

[@GameChanger597]

Sometimes Dr. John talks a little bit too much about himself though. He'll literally cut people off in the middle of their story and reflect it back on him and by the time he's done, he's giving them advice and they never got to finish sharing their experience. Wish he would let them talk a little more sometimes...

[@curiouslyme524]

​@GameChanger597 I notice that, too. But maybe he takes control because of the time frame???? He's a good man.

[@lizbethramirez2917]

Im 27.. No friends, NO Facebook,No instagram. No social media... Lol since i was 18

[@areskodvin]

The facebook, instagram and social media thing is your choice though. You can connect with more people if you use these social medias correctly.

[@jamesly2307]

That’s been me since I was a small kid and I’m 28 years old now

[@tanitarideout16]

Same here literally

[@ana.eduard1493]

@@areskodvin and how ?

[@areskodvin]

@@ana.eduard1493 Text people, join groups with similar interests, call people you know via messenger, lots of opportunities. Even Tinder can help you get a date. So if you have no friends, these social medias can help you. Though of course, real life is the best.

[@gretchasketch4829]

Delony is the best thing to come from Ramsey Productions. He has become my favorite to listen to. So much empathy and understanding.

[@derekcampbell4209]

Agreed! And I love how even though he is a man of faith, he will tell other religious people they need to seek professional help outside of the church. A lot of religious people think that they can take care of anything via faith and church. But sometimes you need to bring in the Pro’s and specialists and Delony understands that. So I agree with him on most advice he gives. Usually on point.

[@sophia4christ]

I am also 37 this May and have no close friends. All my former friends are now married with children and I am still single with no children. So our paths and interests no longer align. However, since I am an introvert, it doesn't bother me too much.

[@dervin7]

I can definitely understand the introverted lifestyle

[@regularity2556]

Same, except I am bothered by it.

[@meganalves9967]

I’m the same

[@Solunatic02]

Same. Just don’t have the desire to fit in with anyone.

[@jessicaran148]

People don’t have a lot of friends as they get older, that’s normal. It’s more about family when you’re grown.

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

I understand what she's going through. As you get older (especially for females), most people are focused on raising kids and being married. I don't have any of that right now. It's challenging making friends unless you're open to befriending older/younger people.

[@Linda-gc6le]

Its true. I have both husband and kids. But I like to hang out but people I know don't like doing anything.

[@Harasezza]

@@Linda-gc6le what sort of activities do you like to do with friends? I am an outdoorsy person, so I love going to parks and hiking around. I also love reading, but it is hard to find people who want to read the same books as me to discuss them 😅

[@Linda-gc6le]

@@Harasezza lol sport,going for walks, working out,

[@Linda-gc6le]

@@Harasezza yes I enjoy reading and I don't anyone who reads or enjoy it anyway.

[@DogmaGirlAD]

I am a young Mom and even still, my closest friends are not around my age or life stage. Don't discount friends that are not in your age group - they can be the best.

[@kimmiekats22]

To Vanessa & everyone in this thread: I’ll be your friend. 🤗

[@deehope9477]

Lol me too!!

[@amberlawrence1647]

Me too. I need more friends too.

[@UnitedPacci]

F off

[@UnitedPacci]

@N Considering you being a broke bum there is not much value in your bet.

[@marleyjanim5033]

Why can't we be friends

[@veronicavatter6436]

I feel this one. I always feel like I'm bothering people

[@snoozyq9576]

Same they think I'm weird. It's very hard.

[@b.c.2836]

Same!

[@coriemmett1363]

Aw I don’t want you to feel that way. I can relate to that in a way. I didn’t fit in when I was younger especially in high school.

[@donnawestbrook8992]

​@@snoozyq9576 sounds like you haven't found "your people" yet. We are all weird in some way. Fellow weirdos unite.

[@merhabaworld5924]

I'm 32 and have no friends or family at all. It gets exhausting and even scary knowing you have no one to call or talk to if you ever need help. I have zero social skills and very introverted. I honestly hate it.

[@jasinbiggs7189]

Im the same age so I can relate. Except my mom takes care of me

[@DCamp1271]

Same. I'm going to be 37 this year. Please do what you can to fix it. It won't just get better without intervention.

[@sleepy580]

@Sero Suit For me, I prayed simply God I need friends. Then I started visiting some churches. Sat in the back. Eventually found a place that felt ok to me. Found just enough friendly people to have some contacts. Over time a few became friends.

[@jessicaran148]

You should consider joining a place of worship of some sort and having kids or adopting or at least fostering. You also have to do things for people if you want people to do things for you. Think of what you have to offer when entering a friendship as well as what you’d like to get out of it. Try being friendly and saying hello to people and get hobbies so that you can connect with like minded people.

[@dragoncat5836]

Please don't have kids as a substitute for friends. My mother has never had a single friend in her life and she expects myself and my sister to spend all of our time with her. My sister has children of her own to raise and I have a career that takes up much of my time. She has no idea how to entertain herself or socialize outside of family. People need friends. Don't put that burden on your children.

[@tracyzhao355]

Is harder to make friends the older you get...I'm almost 30 and have social anxiety

[@nhgriff1]

Me too.

[@sha2bron2]

Around 34 it went away for me

[@jenniferleigh1674]

I do too. It sucks! I get it

[@Diamondraw4Real]

It can get better after ur 30s don't give up. Maybe see a psycologist.

[@Howyodoinn]

You don't have to have many . Couple of good people you can trust and rely on each other should anything come up and you have to shine your bat signal.

[@vivi2873]

I’m 42, I have many aquaintances but no friends besides my husband. It doesn’t really bother me, most of the time. Once in a while I do wish I had someone to talk to and hang out with. Maybe one day God will send me a friend

[@Raminakai]

Be on the lookout! Praying for you to find a trustworthy kind friend and that you are open to whatever female form that shows up in. It might be a person you least expect. God Bless!

[@peytonmacphail2294]

Same this is me i have no friends beside my boyfriend

[@snoozyq9576]

I don't know if you've tried joining any clubs or groups but that's what I'm trying. I've heard this is the best way to go!

[@anissaholmes4495]

Same

[@shanellem7091]

I'll be 37 in a week so if Vanessa wants to be friends, we can be friends. I live in Toronto, Canada though. We can be zoom friends.

[@Anangelfromabove]

One thing I do know is that emotional abuse being made fun of from a parent can make you feel socially anxious and awkward! I understand! We can beat this and not be victims! We got this!

[@dewilew2137]

You are absolutely right ❤️

[@Luffa187]

When you lose all your friends you also lose your social skills. Months and years can go by without socializing properly. Once you start making efforts to meet people and get new friends nobody will like you because you're not as fun to be around as everyone else due to the lack of social skills. People will think you're boring. If you're reading this and have friends, hold on to them the best you can. Having no friends is a hole that is extremely hard to get out of. I speak from experience.

[@Somegirl3602]

You're spot on.. I can so relate 100%

[@RR-xm9iu]

10000%. I guess its like any skill that if you dont practice, you lose. I became so weird after being a recluse for 3 years it was hard to shake. Luckily i got out of it (i still have no real friends but im muchh better socially)

[@snoozyq9576]

Jeez now I feel even worse about it lol.

[@tashajoykin5192]

It’s like riding a bike, though.

[@Luffa187]

@@tashajoykin5192 Absolutely. My point was just that if you stop socializing it's very hard to come back from. It can be done, it's just much harder. That's why I think it's important to socialize regularly, even when you go through tough times. Otherwise you have to start from scratch and it's brutal. When something terrible happens in someones life it's very common to become a recluse to avoid dragging other people down with them. That's what I did which is why I try to warn people about it because your social life will be severely punished.

[@soph0113]

Most people don't have friends. They think they do. In reality they have people they enjoy common activities with to socialize. The nature of most people's relationships are shallow. For people that crave deeper intellectual emotional connections with others- friends are hard to come by.

[@snoozyq9576]

Im not aure its most people but there's probably a lot in this boat

[@aldreonsmith4268]

Thanks for voicing that. It is much harder to find.

[@callieduval3000]

I'm over 50 and don't have any true friends and it's hard to trust people to get to the real friend zone.

[@luingalls]

Same.

[@coletaylor9847]

I'm sorry, that sucks. I will say though as a 22 year old that feels the same way, its nice to know that there's at least people still living life regardless.

[@patrickhill1075]

I relate to you 🙄im 51 & it's different when you get older & wiser it's hard to trust ppl

[@Olive47223]

Yes, I'm 60. I really struggle to meet them and then I have such a hard time trusting them

[@donaldshotts4429]

Message in a Bottle by the Police. There are millions of people out there that feel like you feel and want what you want. Don't give up

[@loussis8584]

I love hearing Vanessa laughing during the call! Feels like the call made her feel less awkward, less lonely too. And it made me feel happy 😊

[@catblack4091]

I think the caller sounds very likeable....a person who has had some hard luck. It's just hard to make real friends at any age and people shouldn't internalize it as something intrinsically wrong with them.

[@Commanderson7]

I'm 37 and minus the trauma I'm the same way. The one thing for me is I'm always the one checking on people but people don't reciprocate even the people who may consider me a friend.

[@NT-bz5nh]

Same here. It’s harder to find authentic friends who actually care the older I get.

[@amandolavida1569]

We are in the same boat. Normally I’m the one reaching out. Let’s be friends if you want.

[@amandolavida1569]

@@NT-bz5nh I get it.

[@mv7374]

I have really caring friends but some of them just sorta get stuck in their own worlds so it's hard to keep in touch if you dont see them every day, like at work

[@jenniferleigh1674]

I relate. Same here!

[@kacyandlaura]

I saw a meme about ‘not chasing people’ to be your friends. ‘Be yourself and the right people will be drawn and stay in your life’ it said. It was hard for me to read because at the time I totally chased people, always initiating and wanting them to be my friend. Slowing that down some, liking myself better, and having a better understanding of my boundaries was really good personal growth. I have better friendships now. And the ones that didn’t really want a relationship are gone, which is also good!

[@ppumpkin3282]

There's a natural reaction when people feel they are being pursued they are skeptical. Sometimes I find people are more interested in me when I ignore them. Let them come to you.

[@sarcodonblue2876]

Being someone else doesn't work and neither does being your self

[@kacyandlaura]

@@sarcodonblue2876 has that been your experience? I’m sorry.

[@kacyandlaura]

@@sarcodonblue2876 are you open to learning conversation skills? Anyone can learn!

[@sarcodonblue2876]

@@kacyandlaura I have conversation skills but I just can't relate to most people as my interests vary especially with other women. People mostly don't like anyone who is different and will actually exclude them. That is the way humans are .

[@itsnotme6644]

I think a person needs friends to grow. I have no friends & it's killing me.

[@jimbus2322]

me too man, me too.

[@NerdyGal_https]

Go out!!

[@TaylorArocho]

Same 🥺

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

Same here. Im sinking like a rock.

[@TinyRedFlags]

@@NerdyGal_https That’s unfortunately not how people make friends in 2021.

[@drillosophy1012]

I feel like people wouldn’t have so much angst and hesitation in making friends if they knew how many others were exactly like them. Especially, 30s and older.

[@Undomaranel]

Then we need to destigmatize being single/ childless/ introverted/ etc. Remember all of those college game nights and such where it was just hang out and no pressure? Why can't we organize that? Oh, right, because EVERYONE treats such activities like it's dating and sets up romantic expectations... hence the destigmatizing needed.

[@hilaryhui1204]

The man that tell his wife to have an abortion, that is just pure disgusting

[@andytaylor1588]

Yep. The same type of coward who will beat his wife.

[@fernathebest414]

What about the woman that has an abortion when her husband told her not to?

[@gascari3438]

why so?

[@TazHall]

@@fernathebest414 we encourage her not to kill and that there is help and support for them both.

[@catblack4091]

I swear when she said that I almost got tearful. Just horrible.

[@anechkagee5372]

" I am not the dumbest thing I've done" - So liberating

[@classy4ever63]

I am 38 and don't have friends nor do I want any. I have learned, more friends= more BS. I had one good friend that passed away but the rest of them stabbed me in the back. Quality not quantity

[@toritorittaja4394]

Exactly. I consider friend is that who is there in good and bad and never speak bad about you behind your back and if argument happens it would be handled as 2 civil adults.

[@jenclayton3892]

Word!!! ❤❤❤❤❤

[@Stevo1728]

When you stop paying attention to the internet, you learn an overwhelming amount of men and women are in the same boat with loneliness

[@damienbates]

First rule to making friends is to be a friend. You have to take the risk of rejection and fine ways to invite people to be a part of your life. At the same time you have to make time to be a part of theirs. Once you get good at this, you’ll find your life full of people. Friends will come and go as life happens and surprise! surprise! It does take work. When your tired and want to stay home, instead you go spend time with these new friends!. Eventually, you’ll find those people that you really click with that become great friends.

[@lreally]

Thanks! Very encouraging

[@sarcodonblue2876]

I have tried that and it doesn't work

[@eleseclarke6038]

I'm Autistic and I find it so hard to keep friends or make them I have 0 atm I feel so sad but the positive is I have 4 beautiful children x

[@bluzshadez]

I have very few friends, but I keep them for life. It's a matter of quality and not quantity.

[@ChristianCarnivoreLady]

It doesn't matter if you can count all of your friends on one hand, if they're the type that you can count on eachother for life.

[@MrRaErickson]

I’m 49 and don’t have any REAL friendships in my life but I have 5 awesome dogs and a girlfriend that loves me. I’m content

[@ORSkie]

Wait... Is your girlfriend not a real friendship?

[@MrRaErickson]

@@ORSkie you know what I mean. Can’t have a circle with 2 people

[@Isaaccross-gh9fq]

@@MrRaEricksonyou can’t make a circle with three or four people either

[@samithegreat7840]

The pandemic isn’t going to help. People are isolated now more than ever.

[@jonathansanchez8499]

I started with dave ramsey. And slowly lost friends because "debt free was stupid." Now debt free and no friend. happy as i can be.

[@TaylorArocho]

That’s so ridiculous you lost friends cause you wanted a better life for yourself! Some people really wanna keep each other down with them 😒

[@Wild.horse.]

@@TaylorArocho they SURE DO

[@born2reign90]

I totally relate...I started trying to share DR principles with my friends to help them. Somewhere down the line our convos were no longer aligned.

[@Diamondraw4Real]

Good for you

[@MrCharlespeele]

Congrats to you! Keep it up

[@nev2943]

I've been percieved as shy and awkward all my life. I always had low self esteem because of it. Guess what, overtime I realized the people who felt that way about me were not 'friends,' and I cut them all off. Since cutting them off I developed a better sense of self, got a promotion at work and got engaged NYE 2021. Be yourself, life will reward you for it ;).

[@lreally]

How did you develop better sense of self?

[@user-eo9to7wd2t]

@@lreally Yeah, please explain this

[@jimcole6423]

Good for you!

[@meancarleen]

what I would give for ONE good friend!! I am 52 and SERIOUSLY no friends.

[@24kGanksta]

Both my parents are like this they are now divorced and have no friends either

[@SJ_mommabear]

I’m sorry. I just lost the one friend who I thought had my back but gossiped about my family to her other friend! 💔 I’ve never fit in. Always the outcast so I get it!

[@wendydonnelly1881]

I'm 54 and have not a single one. Previous "friends" have shown I can't trust people.

[@rhondaphillips432]

I LIVE IN GEORGIA, MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. MY GROWING UP YEARS I WAS SHY, THANK THE LORD HE SAVED ME AND BLESSED ME WITH LIFE LONG FRIENDS. FIND A GOOD OLDFASHIONED BAPTIST CHURCH WHERE PEOPLE ARE REAL CHRISTIANS. ONCE THEY GET TO KNOW YOU THEY'LL BE THERE FOR LIFE. REAL CHRISTIONS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. EVEN BEFORE THEY GET TO KNOW YOU. I'VE NEVER MET ANY OF THE YOU TUBE WATCHERS, BUT I LOVE YOU ALL, A KING JAMES BIBLE IS GODS WORD, THAT'S MY ROAD MAP IN LIFE.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@icantbeliveitisnot]

I'm very, very late to this. I just found this channel and have been binging. I am very lucky to have met a core group of friends in middle school. I'm 41. We have about 7-10 of us that have lived across the globe, survived multiple deployments, marriage, divorce, kids, miscarriages, and death of parents. You name it; we have been through it all. What I know is that the right friends will always be there for you. Sometimes, we don't talk for months, but when we do, it's like time never passed. I think the key to being a good friend is to be open with yourself and vulnerable with your friends. Oh, and be very quick to own up to your faults and mistakes and apologize sincerely when you screw up. A true friend will forgive you if you truly mean it.

[@dewilew2137]

I’m happy for you, but this was entirely useless information for someone who doesn’t have any friends.

[@fasttrackblastback8286]

Don't be too vulnerable, one of them will use it against you.

[@shikhatruth5204]

25 and I cut off a lot of people...to where I’m almost not quite friendless..was tired of being taken advantage of.

[@corrieworou4813]

Amen

[@sabrinay9430]

I don't have any friends either. I just got lazy about relationships over the years. People are too complicated.

[@youtubeuserzzzz]

This is so me. I just learned to adjust to life without Friends. I just have Associates.

[@MrCharlespeele]

I’m 70 and I really don’t have real friends, only acquaintances. My best friend died a year ago. I am married for 50 years and my husband, children and grandchildren are my friends but I miss that female relationship.

[@lmaostrnoob]

Hope you are doing ok, it will get better and you will find someone

[@veroniquevesta7516]

Some times the reason a person doesn't have any friends is because they're NOT a good friend. It's a give and take.

[@AmaMar88]

It's okay, I am 29 and I am in the same boat. It's hard to make friends as an adult. It's sad, honestly. Haha.

[@saywhatondat]

Yes indeed 29 as well and it’s hard

[@AmaMar88]

@@saywhatondat I agree 100%. I'll be your friend 😁

[@minkaaa7]

Same age, same problem. It sucks lol

[@AmaMar88]

@@minkaaa7 giiiiiirl... you know it. I'll be your friend!

[@ntmn8444]

It’s even harder now for our generation because of social media.

[@kimfry4019]

I'm 60 yrs old and I don't have any friends, I learned to enjoy my own company.

[@Dhduydud]

I’ll be your friend :)

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

I’m 37 and weird and shy with few friends . Trouble is I look like the top dog but have the underdog mentality , which plays with your mind when you get attention, but are a behind the scenes person and don’t want to stand out . So I root for the underdog , they’re my tribe . I don’t fit in with “typical” people .

[@user-np1yv2zn9h]

Hey! what do you mean that you look like the top dog ? would you please explain if that is okay? and Thank you for sharing it helps

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

@@user-np1yv2zn9h just means that you look like you have it all together and fit in . I’ve been praised for my looks all of my life . But looks mean nothing to me , they don’t get you anything of real value .

[@user-np1yv2zn9h]

@@rebeccaoprea9917 thank you a lot for sharing that actually really helps a lot , i really appreciate it, and oh okay , god bless you :)

[@larissagonzales6075]

Same! I've outgrown a lot of people and now I have to move on and find new friends. I think you have to find a hobby to make friends in a community with similar interests. Maybe volunteer or take a part-time job where you talk to people and can meet new people. Hopefully, when things start opening attend events or conferences that interest you to network.

[@TheLastRivian]

Friendship after school takes work. Showing up for each other takes time.

[@dragonsurge1]

It’s so much more difficult with working and family. It’s definitely worth the effort though.

[@maddywadsworth4312]

Man. This one is so me! I recently got 2 new friends, and they are my first friends in YEARS and I’m 27. One of my husband’s female cousin, and the other was a girlfriend of a friend of my husband’s. It took a long time for me to be able to call them MY friends, instead of them just being people I knew. It’s weird and hard to make friends as an adult. I hope you find a great friend soon ❤️

[@kellya3162]

Praying for your healing 🙏🏿You seem like such a sweet person! You will meet a community of people that will value you for who you are💛

[@SmittinKitten]

Thanks for having this conversation. I have always felt different from everyone and it's difficult for me to connect with people. I just need to find some awkward friends like me.

[@sydneychase3128]

I wrote a note a girl in elementary school asking if she wanted to be friends circle yes or no and we stayed friends past high school! 😂

[@rhonda8231]

This rings so true with me. I am older than her. Went through a lot of trauma. I have never had friends. It has been very lonely. I thought I had a couple of friends, but they just wanted me in their MLM's. When I didn't buy enough they ghosted me. Now I am disabled, and for sure no one wants to be friends....

[@thepunisherxxx6804]

"I'm awkward and shy too!" - Can't really be if you have your own radio/youtube show where you broadcast to millions...

[@Sarah-ft8jr]

Exactly! There’s nothing worse then an extrovert who thinks they can relate to introverts.

[@zebrafigs8450]

I love that you started listening and empethising with the caller rather than going straight to solutions. Amd even when you went to the solution they were to address the root rather than the problem itself. I think the caller is on a great path. I hope she finds some good friends

[@Somegirl3602]

Yes, you are spot on... This Dr is so amazing at what he does!

[@yumyum1742]

I’m heart is broken to hear about your abortion story, cos that’s exactly what happened to me a decade ago. I’m now 37 now, and still no children of my own. Extremely traumatic when you’re forced into having an abortion that you don’t want to have :(

[@bisiilki]

My boyfriend harassed me into abortions and i feel sad about it all the time, but we still have time to do what we want!

[@amandablando6502]

I feel like this is a very real conversation for adults especially because the older we get the smaller our circle becomes.

[@patriciairwin9491]

I am 30, used to have tons of friends and now I don't want any, Lol

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Same

[@AuraDawn_Health]

Same

[@nene7528]

Same

[@Hunter-ox6kh]

It's good to have some close friends that you can relate with

[@Bill-up9xw]

True!

[@miraclo3]

Hobbies of the ultimate Gateway into making friends and meeting new people. Figure out something you like to do and there's almost a guarantee chance that there's a local group in your area that meets up on occasion to do that Hobby. For me it's riding motorcycles and playing with RC cars and building combat robots at least 30% of the reason I got into my hobbies was to meet new people. It doesn't have to be that it could be sewing or gardening or beekeeping, for your classic or book groups. it's perfect because you guys already have something in common and can talk about. It might make a lot of acquaintances but on occasion you will need somebody that becomes a very close friend. But you can't do it unless you try to put yourself out there and be a little bit vulnerable.

[@stephensantiago603]

Did anybody else catch the Usher Confessions song shout out at 1:11? 😂

[@MacshaddyMarie]

Had me cracking up

[@iwillsurvive1335]

I have the same problem. I'm shy and very introverted. I sometimes anxious dealing with people. I dropped all my friends cause they were one sided and a waste of my time. I tend to say how I feel, I don't like to fake things. I give way too much of myself, if it's not reciprocal I don't need it.

[@jones2277]

same thing here. too one-sided.

[@nikstar1313]

At 44 I walked away from my toxic family and so called “friends” It’s been 3 years of no contact and I am scared to develop deep relationships. I keep everyone at arms length - fearful avoidant attachment style

[@toritorittaja4394]

If you know they're toxic you definitely are better off. Good for you to choose peace!

[@1Icyman]

Did you over share with your friends? Sometimes it's difficult to know the line between being emotional honest and over sharing.

[@elled10024]

Go you though! That’s insanely courageous to decide you would rather be alone and sane than with insane people. I hope you meet some other cool people. I had a somewhat similar experience, but thankfully I still ended up with a couple good people One thing that really helped me is (though it may sound a little odd) watching this show on KZbin, called “first dates, UK” just seeing strangers meeting other strangers and seeing that there are crappy people and then a few beautiful, honest, awesome people that meet each other… I don’t know it just helped me see there are good people from a safe distance for now. All the luck in the world

[@nikstar1313]

@@elled10024 thank you!!! I really appreciate your comment ❤️❤️❤️

[@nikstar1313]

@@1Icyman are you trying to victim blame me?

[@exxology1]

Holy smokes, my name’s Vanessa I’m 37 & have a hard time with friendships too!!

[@mv7374]

I get it. It gets harder to make friends starting around your later 20s b/c you're no longer in school where making friends is helpful for studies, and it's also the age that a lot of ppl naturally start wanting to make their families, so they want to hang out less with friends (understandably).

[@prettyconfidentpassiveme6705]

Hay girl I'll be your youtube friend 🙂 I'm 34 female and it took me 10 years to get 2 friends so I know how you feel 😊

[@mikhailchernetskiy189]

Vanessa, you are beautiful. I think red heads are very beautiful ☺️. Wishing you great, deep, meaningful relationships. 💕

[@theowl2044]

The term “friend” is relative. Everyone calls everyone else their “friend”. But are they really? Some “friends” are friends forever, while others are “acquaintances”. While other “friends” turn out to be backstabbers.

[@casualonemmo-player2167]

"A true friend is someone you can visit at 3 am... hey i got a body un the trunk... /friend runs in his garage and grabs two showels + says "jump in, im driving""

[@ItsMissLalaToYou7]

@@casualonemmo-player2167Nooooo! 😂 That’s an accomplice.

[@Misbehavedcollection]

I had a few friends here and there, and towards my mid-30s, I lost my last 2 friends. But I am married with a child and slibilings. It really doesn't phase. All they do is bring drams or share drama. I never had to ask for favors, moat of the times they will come to me for favors...and I realize you don't benefit by having friends. It's all mental, and it's ok to accept that. If you feel like you don't have a social life... start building by joining a club or help community. .. it's hard to get a new friendship as an adult. Most friendships are built during tour youth. Plus im now considered an introverted person. I used to be the bubbly and extroverted but while getting older and you see how humans are you kinda back off.

[@AuraDawn_Health]

I'm 48 and have no friends. Easier this way. ✌️

[@carolyn683]

I'm 48 too and it seems like trying to make friends is always one sided. I give up..

[@amandolavida1569]

@@carolyn683 I totally understand, same here. We can be friends.

[@ryanpreston8935]

Ok doomer

[@marlowilliams4264]

Agreed! Friends are overrated 😂 they’ll stab you in the back, flirt with your husband, etc. NO THANK YOU

[@TheJazzy1980]

I'm 40 with no friends. I don't wish to have a lot of friends. People annoy me. It would be nice to have a couple of friends I have a true connection with though. The loneliness can feel overwhelming at times.

[@gsquared2394]

I don’t have any friends, but it’s because I’m a lot cooler than everyone else.

[@minkaaa7]

I wish I had your confidence LOL

[@gusvogt-shields4689]

I’m 24 and just moved to a new city for work and have no friends yet and this helped so much.

[@Tamar-sz8ox]

A great sage once said “ if you have one true friend in this world 🌎, you’re blessed “ ❤️

[@kaywoodsbaby]

Dang honestly I vibe with this girl so much. It's so easy to be acquainted with someone... but real TRUE friends is something I'm out for too. Best of luck to Vannessa

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

I realized at 31-32 that all of my friends are toxic. I made one new friend. It is tough.

[@abrahamrazo503]

If anyone doesnt have any friends comment on this we could all make a new friend today

[@Hunter-ox6kh]

Agreed! How's it going Abraham?

[@abrahamrazo503]

@@Hunter-ox6kh I'm doing good today wbu

[@minkaaa7]

🎉 love this!

[@abrahamrazo503]

@@minkaaa7 how are u doing

[@ntmn8444]

That’s right! We are all friends now!

[@Launibu]

I don't have the time to make close friends outside of my family. If I have any downtime from kids/ husband, I want to be by myself, lol. I'm an introvert, and can't handle needy people either. I also don't like talking on the phone etc. I wouldn't make a great friend right now. My sister is my best friend.

[@Sarah-ft8jr]

Same here. My downtime away from my kids is taking my dogs to the beach on a Friday evening.

[@averynmitchell]

I wish I could give Vanessa and all y’all a big hug right now ❤ I feel in a similar boat at 22; I’ve dealt with shame from my single parent upbringing, being a misfit in childhood, and leaving a toxic relationship. I feel all of that; we’re not alone! ❤❤ I hope we can get an update from Vanessa, I want to know if she’s ok!

[@enavigatorE]

I don’t have any Friends and I love it!❤

[@cozyafternoon7826]

When you do find people to hang out with all they talk about are their mortgages and their kids.

[@minkaaa7]

At 29, I am quite literally the only person I know my age without children and I feel like that's a huge reason why I only have one real friend (bff of 20+yrs). It's haaaaard to make friends when everyone else is in a different life stage than you.

[@kendrarhodes6425]

@@minkaaa7 yeah you make a good point. I’d love to hangout with my friends who have kids, but they basically ditched me to hang out with other moms. Lol. With the exception of a couple of people.

[@Nepthu]

True point. A good buddy of mine recently broke up with his girlfriend. She kicked him out. It's been a month, but it's all he talks about. He hates being single and shares that feeling with me nonstop. Next time he calls me, I plan to be "busy."

[@TaylorArocho]

Listen it may come a shock to you but people really do love their family and when you have a family you’ve created and you get to enjoy it that’s all you want to talk about. I used to be you know I’m on the other side and I love it so much more better here! ☺️ I love family and my children and I’m pretty sure if you ever get the chance to or whatever you’d maybe feel the same.

[@TaylorArocho]

Now**

[@jellygurl27]

She sounds just like me. I am 32 and these are the hardest ages with friendships because everyone is focused on marriage and kids. I feel weird because I definitely want friends but I am not in the press to get married/have kids category. All my life I have always been an introvert and had associates. The most friendships I grew was in college (my freshman year group about 6 of us) and that's because we all lived together. I see them every so often (occasional dinner, weddings, etc) and we have a group chat but not everyday. They all are family focused. Other than that I do not have many. I am mostly close to my mom and my sister (they are my BFFS) but as I have gotten older I realize I do need to expand my horizons because I would like more.

[@Harasezza]

I can relate to this! I am 36 and very close with my family, but don't have hardly any friends. Most of the people I know are married and have kids, so I felt like it was an inconvenience for them if we hung out. I really miss goofy/weird friendships

[@NT-bz5nh]

@@Harasezza same here!

[@cjwsk12]

I'm 27, been pretty awkward and silly all my life. I'm really shy too and take a while to open up. I've learned to accept me and embrace my awkwardness. Sometimes, you're not actually as weird as you think you are! it's all in your head, constantly thinking "are ppl staring at me. Am I walking weird. OMG did I just say that. I bet they think i'm so weird ugh" but actually, most of the time ppl aren't even thinking that. They're busy thinking about themselves. After accepting me for me, i've started making friends! Ppl can feel when you're being genuine ,when you're secure with yourself and they want to be around that. Ppl wanna be around ppl who like and respect themselves. It all starts with self love.

[@neoluddite5676]

All the people who are saying it’s ok not to have friends. Remember it’s not about you. It’s about her

[@grannyary]

It was like hearing someone tell my story. From the divorced parents, moving, being awkward, unhealthy relationships with narcissists, no friends and moving to florida for weather. Its trust issues, not feeling worthy and blaming ourselves. I believe we must be kin or kindred spirits.

[@Red_1976]

It’s hard to make new friends and keep them these days, the world is changing.. people are less open to chat, they seem to be in fear or think you just want something from them. Keep trying, join a few clubs. I’d say even go out of your comfort zone with joining various clubs (ones that you don’t even really like), you might find one or two people that you really do click with (& you might find you like what you actually thought you didn’t)!

[@abbylebaddie]

I'd advise this lady to work on her self esteem and join some clubs or organizations where she can meet people. I started going out for karaoke and playing volleyball and I've met a bunch of cool people. Granted I never had that much of a problem making friends. I used to be really shy though. I think she needs to basically quit complaining and be proactive about meeting people. You're never going to make friends feeling sorry for yourself and being a total Eeyore. You've gotta be positive and take initiative.

[@magdalenast.7936]

This is what I realized when you're trying to make friends (or at least from my experience) 1. REALIZE YOUR WORTH. Once you realize this and you are confident enough in yourself and in life, you will (usually) attract good people. 2. BE WILLING TO MAKE THE 1ST MOVE. I noticed that nowadays A LOT of people don't do this! Call/text people even if it's for 5 minutes. Reach out to them on social media. Comment on their post! Ask them to hang out. Eventually, the person will do something(s) similar. This doesn't work all the time, but it does INCREASE your chances! 3. You have to be INTERESTED in others! Get to know their hobbies, what they like to do, etc. Be open to new experiences! 4. KNOW YOUR LIMITS. In life, not everyone has good intentions after all. Stand up for yourself. 5. BE LOYAL, RESPECTFUL, AND KIND. Sounds cliché, but it's true. These are traits/qualities of a good friend. 6. QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY. This is a lot of truth to this. I rather have a few real friends, than many fake ones. I GIVE MY BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS!

[@tjj5337]

Unfortunately, bullies always seem to have the most friends in life.

[@firepatriot42]

Sad but true.

[@stevielee83]

there friendships are worth nothing..

[@nkolemwaba2526]

I've been "otherised" my whole life because of certain characteristics that I have. I got tired of people making me feel different and when I tried to make friends with people who have the same issues I do, I realized that it wasn't enough to establish long term friendships or a support system. It's wears you out struggling with something that is a fundamental human need. More so because it seems to come so naturally to most people.

[@charlotteboyett-napper4780]

This was me since college. It’s all about Shame. But you’d never know it from the outside looking in. Thank you Dr John ❤️

[@dianerose7631]

In my thirties no friends no most of my family refuses to be friends with me on social media. I’m attractive, nice, college educated, working on a goal, but they see nothing good about me

[@prissylovejoy702]

This made me start bawling! Wish I could be her friend. 😭

[@teresayeates3437]

Completely get this, am 55 now and it took me a long time to figure out how to solve this issue, if it was not for amazing people insisting on being my friends I would have been lost. First, dismiss the idea that a friend must be your age. If you open your mind to the idea having friends of all ages those people may have friends or relatives your age. Either way people of all ages can enrich your life. Next make a point to smile at people when you pass them, a gift that is for both of you and can start a conversation. Practice saying hello, beautiful day, etc. Next walk your neighbourhood, take a camera and take pictures. You cannot meet/befriend anyone at home. Same with stopping in coffee shops, libraries, small local events. Look for local charitable events, offer to do something to help. Again make eye contact/smile at people, a brief smile can do wonders. Practice at home. To loosen up think of something funny in your head, your demeaner will relax. Look for a need in your area and see how it might be filled, if it is a spring cleanup, go to city hall and see about having it organised. Foster a pet, dog walk, people love to chat about dogs.

[@elizabethtimothy4776]

WOW! You are absolutely spot on. Amazing advice ❤️

[@KateVig3]

This is fantastic advice. Thank you!!

[@JJJJspam]

I have friends, but I dont reach out. Ill gonyears without hearing from them. When we happen to get together, it's business as usual, like we never missed a step. I spend most of my time alone.

[@iamthedaughteroftheking3704]

I had friends in high school(2017). During our senior year of high school I had a few close friend. They told me that there’s not going forget each other. They never call me back in after graduation. During college I saw girls that I knew in high school, so I started to hang out with them, but slowly we drifted apart due to schedule. We don’t even talk occasionally. During college I called a few of my good friends from high school to hang out(some of them go to different college) I was thinking maybe I should make the first move, so I contacted them to meet up and we hang out in the mall. We had a great time. We hung out , after that the meet up they never text me or contact me. I thought I should stop chasing people if they don’t want to contact me, this was 3 years ago. I came to realize I have no close friends. I am 22 years old. I have online Christian friends do to bible study. But I would like a close local friend.

[@user-np1yv2zn9h]

Thank you for sharing

[@iamthedaughteroftheking3704]

@@user-np1yv2zn9h your welcome

[@kaizenborntowin]

Remind yourself, "I am completely lovable just the way I am," because you are completely lovable just the way you are.

[@starlingswallow]

Vanessa, I want to be your friend ☺️❤️ I hope you come to realize that you are worth liking yourself....and you are worth liking and befriending~ period. Oh, girl~ I'm sorry about the Narc relationship. I too have been there.

[@PersonS6]

I would much rather have someone greet me with an "oooooooohh'' than a boring whats up. If other people are weird it feels like I have permission to be weird

[@bethanybrowne3803]

John- I love your anecdotes but there comes a point where you need to stop interrupting and taking about yourself and let the guests talk! Love the show! Keep up the good work!

[@Fairygelic]

I’m 20 years old and I’m so lonely that it hurts, like I haven’t had any friends since before the pandemic and ever since then my anxiety has gotten even worse so it’s extremely hard for me to get myself out there. I don’t really feel like I fit in anywhere