I Feel Like a Fat, Pathetic Loser (How Do I Get Unstuck?)

[@boredoreos]

I'm procrastinating on work listening to this video right now.

[@teri3965]

This young man needs to be tested for untreated ADHD. I was diagnosed at age 51. Getting help saved my life. Not to be so dramatic but it all made sense finally getting an astute doctor who spotted it in me and guided me to help. I can relate to this young man so much. It’s very painful. There is hope.

[@kitkat3155]

I also was thinking of ADHD because I can relate so intensely to what he’s saying. I’ve always had a feeling I might have it and im 22 and have never been tested for it. I have never been able to concentrate and have never actually finished anything in my life. Im glad you got your diagnosis. 😊

[@KA-mq4wj]

Yep! Please get tested. I was diagnosed at 45. He sounds exactly like me.

[@Fidofiend90]

Just diagnosed this year in my 30’s and I caught it and brought ADHD to my doctors attention. Been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and l panic attacks my whole adult life and my psych was the first one who was like yeah you fit this to a tee. Everything he’s talked about resonates with me. Impulsivity, lack of motivation for hard things, addiction to the quick dopamine/easy entertainment, etc.

[@aarons5724]

"I slept and dreamt that life was beauty; I awoke and found that life was duty."

[@samrusoff]

This is a huge, huge issue that warrants talking about much more. Media prevalence and attention grabbing apps just keep spreading. And "numbing out" to avoid or escape from a painful reality, whether its powerlessness or something else, is building up addiction, I see it in so many people around me. Just as John described, it feeds into a cycle that amplifies the anxiety the more you keep indulging in the digital escape. It doesnt present as physiologically harmful as alcohol or narcotic addiction, but the reliance on numbing away from reality does so much damage. I hope this gets talked about more

[@jordanrenfroe3738]

I relate so much to this. Avoidance, powerlessness, escapism etc. I'm around the same age I've been working out for the better part of a year and learning your own physical strength, growing it, and believing in your own power while keeping the routine is one of the best ways to feel good and want growth in other areas of your life, especially for knowing what you want.

[@y04a]

Agreed! 31 here, started an apprenticeship but in debt, single, smoker, lol. Can't give up and have to keep going... I'd rather choose a healthy hard. I'm sick of avoiding my responsibilities and wallowing in self pity !! What do I get out of it? It's comfortable, familiar, and confirms easy beliefs about myself (all negative basically). The simplest response for me is self destruction and hopelessness, but that is such a cop out on this beautiful life !! Being emotionally reasonable is hard work 😂

[@crisisorigin7465]

This is the first Dr. JD video that made me sob in the car. I felt it in my soul.

[@samc1011]

Same here. As soon as he began reading his thoughts written down I resonated so much with it that it brought me to tears. The no internal motivation hit me HARD.

[@carnivoreRon]

As a former obese guy, the gym is only 5-10% of weight loss. I go to the gym for other reasons. Weight loss occurs when you know what you're eating and not eating. I suggest looking at videos by Dr Ken Berry. Investigate the keto/carnivore way of eating. Live the best life you can!

[@seagirl1100]

Totally agree with DR BERRY ON HEALTH, IT WORKS

[@seagirl1100]

Dr Ken Berry on KZbin has so much truth in health direction. Life changing

[@luminous6969]

Yeah it's really sad that a lot of obese people think that you have to go sweat to death at a gym for months to lose weight. Then they workout once, feel like they've just tortured themselves, then the thought of doing it a thousand more times seems impossible so they just give up and stay fat.

[@dougprentice1363]

You can't outrun a fork. - James Yeager

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Sounds like adult adhd . He’s escaping reality.

[@firefly9838]

Millions of US adults are undiagnosed

[@teri3965]

Agree

[@chrisperry9484]

Wow the scariest thing is I can relate to this completely to a tea and I'm 34

[@TallowQueen]

Thanks so much for sharing your sruggles for the rest of us to learn from. This talk has given me much motivation

[@EricMoore538]

Don't let others bring you down. People will put you into a loser bubble. Break out of it.

[@NeoSoulCrew]

Its unreasonable to expect someone to give up their hobbies to get married. No wonder hes miserable. What did SHE give up?

[@Paradoxology17]

I could have copied his letter almost word for word... I needed this.

[@sandrab.3538]

Sounds sincere. I really hope that Josue is successful and tries some of these new techniques to connect and improve. Good luck!

[@V31lCl0ud]

I’ve owned a fitness and health company for the past 13 years. It amazes me to this day how many will hire out plumbers, electricians, tutors and more for things they don’t know about. But will skimp out on the most important thing that exists: their body and their health. Seek out a great personal coach and trainer. Yes it comes with a high cost, but would you rather pay for it now, or pay 10x for disease later?

[@TseeDu23]

I am a success in nearly all areas of my life but I can’t lose weight and stick to an exercise routine. I’m listening very intently to this episode. 😂

[@TseeDu23]

@@mialexvi Thanks! I might give that a try. I hear some people just start by driving to the gym and then leave. They do that for a couple of weeks.

[@brightpage1020]

1st, stop exercising. Stop “exercising” 2nd get an apartment dog. An apartment dog needs at least 3-5 walks per day every 2-4 hours . You walk them 20-30 min. In the morning and evening, and then just 5-10 minutes walks during the day. Even if the dog is imaginary, make this appointment you can’t break or it will metaphorically mess your house. Because pent up energy will mess your house somehow. 3) get a calendar. Think of 5 friends who are relatively athletic without being intimidating. Schedule jogging with one, biking with another, golf with the third, basketball with the 4th and rowing or kayaking with the 5th or tennis lessons… Cover each day of the week with a fun activity you do with all of them or at least one pbuddy it would feel cool to hang out with even if you’re excercising while you chill and shoot the stucky. 4) get checked out for ADHD. The guilt and self shame is a dead giveaway.

[@steadystackin7250]

Perfect example of how discipline is not black and white. People can be disciplined with money and relationships, but not with health and wellness.

[@TseeDu23]

@@steadystackin7250guilty lol

[@tomw485]

Losing weight and keeping it off is one of the hardest things in life you can do. I think it’s even harder than getting over substance abuse. Here’s why. You still have to eat. You can’t just quit food like you can quit drugs or alcohol. I’m not trying trivialize drug addiction because it’s incredibly difficult for people. But overweight people are addicted to food. And they have a very unhealthy relationship with food. But they can’t just put food down and get it out of their life. They have to develop a specific strategy to totally change their relationship with food and structure their entire life around sticking to that strategy. Look my good friend recently lost 100 pounds. He did it by taking extreme measures. He pays a trainer and nutritionist $600 a month. He cooks all his meals of the week on Sunday in individual containers carefully weighing and partitioning each meal size then stores it in the fridge and eats those meals at prescribed times every day. He probably spends at least half his Sunday every single week doing this. He also works out 2 times a day every single day before and after his busy corporate job in which he puts in 10-12 hour days. He’s had to take extreme measures to lose extreme amounts of weight. And he’ll tell you that it’s all worth it. But the reason you’ve been unsuccessful is that you’ve never fully grasped the level of commitment it takes to lose weight. It’s hard and there’s a reason most people are fat. But once you have a real plan and you execute on that plan you’ll be successful. One suggesting I have to start. Record every single thing you eat for a week and count the specific calorie consumption. And I mean literally write it all down in a journal don’t estimate in your head. You will be shocked at how much you’re truly consuming. Then compare that against your caloric intake to maintain the weight and then determine the optimal daily caloric deficit you need to lose weight. From there you can put together a diet plan to achieve that weight loss. You can’t half ass this. It has to be very strategic and intentional.

[@amendaalmonte2236]

I hate when John says, “c’mon you know why”. Like no that’s why they are calling you lol

[@LoveLacedRN]

Agreed 😂

[@gabrielagabi787]

Sometimes you need to face this question to even have the courage to say it in laud voice.

[@JohnBrown-ig5nc]

​@@gabrielagabi787 yep

[@nrg3488]

I wish he actually read and commented on his comments.

[@Stella_V777]

Any answer to this question helps him understand more as a therapist. Denial is a powerful thing, and oftentimes we don’t know we know. It just needs to surface from our subconscious.

[@jackidezell3401]

I prayed about this when I woke up. I'm in the same position except in 43, not married, and I'm sickly without treatment and need to work.

[@orangesplaylist]

I wish you all the best!

[@SC68170]

Well, if it makes u feel any better.. you're a pretty girl. This coming from a Ninja Turtle

[@jackidezell3401]

@@SC68170 thanks Ninja Turtle 😂😉

[@psyche8187]

This guy’s wife had it right about gaming. My husband gave up gaming when he became an adult. He would never be as successful as he is today if he hadn’t. He has adhd, and he manages it with healthy habits. His hobbies are now exercising, serving in our community, and playing with our kids.

[@NeoSoulCrew]

That's moronic to think giving up a hobby makes you more successful.

[@evanrozsa]

Lolol

[@Costanza1459]

Ask Henry Cavill about gaming. That’s so cliche, piss off!!!

[@adrianaricalde2905]

Excellent reflection, useful for everyone

[@AbnormalJustice]

So true

[@pipperlue]

Relatable. You see extreme phone use in people more often than not and no one can compete with this technology.

[@punkofmudd]

At least he’s married! I have this issue AND no man who wants me 😢

[@jjones3566]

@punkofmudd I used to feel that pain of being single, but in reality, I have high standards. I am still single and I am soooo fine with it! I am sorry that you are hurting, but I hope that you can get to the point where your realize that a man does not define you. 💗💗

[@firefly9838]

This man quit his main hobby cold Turkey then acted surprised when something else took its place. I didn't give up my hobby of gaming when I got married... I just learned to control it. I don't do it as often now because I have more important things going on. Everyone should have something they genuinely like doing as a hobby... if not it's real easy to become robotic and just go through the motions and not really live.

[@NeoSoulCrew]

Its insane the wife put that ultimatum on him

[@KillerRose0]

Create yourself a baby step like a Dave Ramsey plan. Start if like you have debt, plan your goals to smallest to largest. Eliminate those distractions or find those distractions and how you can change them. Find what you’re passionate about. That guy already found those distractions and not slowly changing his ways. 20% of head knowledge and 80% of behavior works wonders if you think hard enough to use those practices.

[@SuzieQ7779]

Oh man, I needed to hear this! IMO, people also need to learn about the effects that food has on our brains. Improving my eating habits has made a huge difference in my attitude, appearance and productivity.

[@NoOne-wt3sv]

I think caller may have ADHD , it’s like I heard myself through him.

[@rebeccaofpollywogflatts8976]

Phone in the car is an excellent idea!

[@elizabethpieters7798]

Geez people. Not everything is ADHD. Stop with the ADHD diagnosis allready. Some people are just unmotivated and like making excuses for their failures. Thats who they are. Not everything is ADHD.

[@WoodyJ98]

Or it's just behavioral addiction. That's a real thing. CBT is a good option

[@knownonsense2015]

I need to detox from my phone

[@elizame6895]

Sounds like ADHD to me. Gaming etc sounds like dopamine mining to me. Sounds classic case to me surprised this didn't come up. (Yes I am trained in that field) and no I don't think "everyone" has it these days.

[@ykciR]

No He has no discipline. Easy as that. Dude is a loser

[@fauxbro1983]

The guy isn't hyperactive. He's a slovenly. And he can pay attention to get his dopamine hits from his phone. The exact opposite of what ADHD is

[@alisonf6478]

@@fauxbro1983 I wonder how many people you have inspired by using terms like “slovenly”? Perhaps investigate how much shaming actual inspires/helps others.

[@WoodyJ98]

@@fauxbro1983 I think he has behavioral addictions, like a lot of people. CBT is a good option

[@intherockies]

​​​@@fauxbro1983People who have ADHD can focus really well on something that is interesting to them. The term inattentive needs to be replaced and I believe it will be within the next decade. The issue is more of an inability to stay focused on any task that does not bring high dopamine. Having an adult child and a grandchild with ADHD and being a RN, I agree there can be areas of super focus which can last for years or change every day.

[@snakeopus121]

Dude you are awesome!

[@spiderzombie4278]

The thing with adhd is you can get all the good advice in the world but your brain is still going to be in a constant channel-switching fog often leading to analysis paralysis. Only thing that helps is medication

[@spiderzombie4278]

@@wordsalad01 adhd is a diagnosis, its often genetic.

[@spiderzombie4278]

@@SarahConnor562 For sure. I'm a triathlete so I do eat super healthy but in my experience medication is the only thing that works for me, especially on super bad adhd days.

[@spiderzombie4278]

@@wordsalad01 How do you get tested to find this out?

[@ms2bloved126]

This was a good one!!! ❤

[@Sharone123]

Keto! Intermittent fasting. OMAD.

[@shachede6828]

He knows but can’t stick to a plan

[@practicaltheory]

What you spend time doing and thinking about is who you become... I have some advice for this one. First off, the saying that "wanting to change is half the battle" is true. The other half is figuring out the smallest baby steps possible to make those changes and allow the momentum to build. Changing your entire discipline is basically as easy as finding the micro steps to put you on the path to success. Put your gym shoes next to your bed at night. Get dressed properly, even over dress in the morning regardless of how you feel. Start learning something new that will put you on a better career path in 2 - 3 years and be patient with it. Just commit to watching one video or reading one page. Don't take on too much or think you're need to start a business or something complex. Just pick something you would enjoy doing that provides you a good financial opportunity. Many think this is far harder than it actually is. Most people for example could be excellent at sales if they just had a more energetic and positive disposition. Pray when you feel down, it absolutely works. Stop beating yourself up. Everyone goes through ups and downs. We are transient entities which have shown tremendous adaptability and resilience to the point of near magic. You have that in you as well. God loves you, but demands your effort. One final point...the world needs self aware people. In a way, the fact that you feel is evidence of your potential value. Try to put that love to work everyday in small ways and become shocked at what it builds into.

[@kimberlyf4888]

Start with small changes - read Atomic Habits. It's little things done consistently.

[@ts8024]

First step is acknowledging the problem.

[@rebeccaofpollywogflatts8976]

We can no longer have landline phones installed or turned on where I live. Once they are turned off for a residence they are gone forever. Very difficult to prosper in life without a cell phone. I hate this fact. Side note: I am reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. My business mentor group is raving about it. They have integrated it into their personal way of life as well. I think after a while our brain chemistry changes. So I'm down now but as I rise I firmly believe that my brain chemistry changes for the better. Caller, you are not alone. I'm over here in my part of the world creating a better life. Sending positive vibes and strength your way.

[@beefandchicken]

Did we all hear the rooster, though? 🐓 👍🤣

[@ricksanchezsflask8794]

If the caller starts taking charge in life, I have a feeling his marriage may not work out. Sounds like his wife expects a lot from him.

[@intherockies]

I need to do this, get off my phone and out of my bed more. I'm old and raising my grandson and he deserves better. My problem is life is boring and I need new exciting things to make me feel alive and make me want to get up, but we struggle every month to pay bills and to have food at the end of the month. I'm disabled so I can't increase my income. I'm not even sure I can do much with my health conditions. I think I'm burned out of the same ole same ole. Does anyone have an suggestions? I know Dr. John posted this a year ago but maybe someone will still see my post. Thank you

[@JohnBrown-ig5nc]

I dig the 'Monsters of Metal' album in the background. I'm curious as to what artists are on it

[@kyoha9840]

I want someone to read (or listen to) own your past change your future with me AND they should be serious about finishing it and take actions If anyone interested please let me know

[@DeathSpellXVI]

I used to play video games back in the late '90s early '00s, I was a kid/teen, I used to play Final Fantasy, DDR, stuff like that, nothing too serious, games weren't like today's, just endless and so immersive, they are highly addictive so you enter that world at your own risk. Now I find older guys that get so deep into them rather cringy.

[@spiderzombie4278]

Straight up sounds like ADHD haha. Poor guy. The disregulation is real

[@johnnyappleman7159]

There's a clear failure in this conversation which is honing in on his marriage instead of himself. The real discussion should be where have you failed and then address those dreams he wishes to accomplish. In the end if he is saying he wanted to cure cancer than that's unhealthy and he needs to accept that he wasn't bound to change the world in that way. The first step in self progression is accepting that you aren't all that special but you can change and thats where the work begins. What he's been doing with the rage, escapism and everything else is running away from the fact that like 99.9% of people he isn't destined to change the world on a macro scale and it's important to accept that and redefine your self image to be realistic. If you don't have legs you can't run but you can spin wheelchair wheels really fast. That's my two cents anyways, accept you aren't who you wanted to be first and then work from there. The longer you sit in I'm a bum and worthless and hate yourself for it the more you suffer. Just acceot your condition then work to change it.

[@sfappetrupavelandrei]

It's not that simple to change. When you lived your entire life being numb when things are hard, it is difficult to work hard for a long period. There aren't small things you can start with because all of them seem really big.

[@johnnyappleman7159]

@@sfappetrupavelandrei In the past three months I've gone from literally no exercise to going to the gym every other day for weight training pretty consistently. I cut out at least two bad meals from each day by meal prepping chicken and I've lost around twenty pounds. I had a problem with staying focused at work so I began by turning my phone off for an hour a day then more so I could focus. The problem with just saying it's too big is you aren't actually breaking the problem into pieces. If three months ago I had said I'm going to the gym everyday and that's that I would have failed. Don't allow yourself to blame external factors and fix what you can. Now if you're making a statement about being depressed then you're right, you probably won't ever walk around with a smile on your face all the time but at least you can try to make a change. Don't use lack of motivation or I've been numb as a cope for failure just do something. If you want to write a book write a sentence, you want to get healthy? Eat an apple today then work for more. You want to be happy? Do something you enjoy right now. The copium that people are pushing is so unhealthy bro.

[@romanhollow2985]

Yeah man, ok man, go ahead man. Enough with the "man"

[@cookie_monsters411]

Never realized phones are addictive as drugs. I just hope he doesnt use the phone while driving like thousands of idiots do.

[@jackidezell3401]

Where can I get those packs for humans? Doc John?

[@flashthecorgi2053]

They are in the description of this video.

[@TheRealDannAlexander]

Delete all your social media accounts. Sincerely, Social Media Free since 2023.

[@johannesswillery7855]

Nailed it.

[@shachede6828]

But you’re on KZbin here.

[@TheRealDannAlexander]

@@shachede6828 I don't consider YT Social Media. Never did. I post content with intent and purpose. I don't spend hours on here. I curate my interests very carefully, and use the platform to bring joy to myself and others, while raising awareness of things that are important to me like animal rights.

[@TuBui2]

Clean your room

[@darex0827]

KZbin for info on lifting techniques, diet, etc. Get to a cheap gym and prepare for some pain. After a couple weeks, you will notice the changes. Rinse and repeat - weeks turn into months and you will soon need a new wardrobe.

[@ykciR]

He’s not calling about getting into the gym. He has 0 discipline in all aspects of life

[@ykciR]

@@SarahConnor562 the easiest thing is to start off with. is the phone. Break it, sell it. Do whatever you need to do to get rid of it. Then next is doing your bed every morning. To start off you need to start small. Your not going to go from having 0 discipline to going to the gym every day.

[@shachede6828]

Sticking to a plan is the problem

[@fdllicks]

I never could get in shape in the gym. I had the (wrong) idea that working harder = success. Then i spent money on a personal trainer and could not be happier. I go to LA fitness, and for 5 grand a year, you get 3 workouts per week. You will go to them because the trainer doesnt get paid if you skip. Anyway, i run to the gym, have a pro working out with a plan tailored to what I want (ie:weight loss, muscles,etc), and run home. i even have a few beers before. 5 grand a year. I feel like all those yrs before were worthless. I still cant motivate myself to wo alone. The trainers also know what you need. You think one thing and usually you are wrong.u

[@l-train7876]

He’s numbing himself. From what though?

[@stolen3moon]

lol this title spoke to me 😅

[@texasgina]

Wasn't this on yesterday? Sounds the same

[@flashthecorgi2053]

Yes, they release a full episode on M, W, F and then the rest of the week is highlights of the full videos.

[@cutehumor]

I'm watching this on my phone. 😂

[@MrDernagon]

This guy won't get his crap together until he fails. He lacks self control and is lazy. He knows it. Time will tell if this little boy will grow up. Unfortunately that innocent baby will probably suffer first.

[@colbymann]

Some people should just stay single. Society pushes people to be married - ugghh

[@Mrs.TJTaylor]

Cut carbohydrates to a bare minimum to lose weight and increase mental clarity and focus. Seriously.

[@kx2437]

Carnivore diet!

[@ramongmd]

The guy might just have ADHD

[@vickkara7641]

ADHD

[@LonestarPogi]

Dude is a talker not a doer. IMO wife should dump this dude.

[@MrDernagon]

Jesus do NOT say anything like that to your wife! Apologize for being a prick, leave it at that, and then go fix yourself. She will see the results. Do not show weakness and do not turn yourself into a project for her. That is horrible advice that deep down will only make her lose more respect for you.

[@tomnohmy1273]

Ur not a loser josway

[@KennedyIvy]

Stop calling john delony and crying. Go to the gym

[@firefly9838]

Love your compassion bro. Who hurt you?

[@KennedyIvy]

@@firefly9838 ur mom

[@TheAshMcG]

So what are you doing here? Have a nice day, somewhere else.

[@KennedyIvy]

@@TheAshMcG ur mom

[@Rotting12]

@@KennedyIvyare you still emotionally immature?

[@Adam-lq5kg]

Your wife said she doesn't want to married someone who is playing games all the time. You cannot change people and perhaps even more important to understand; you cannot change yourself because SOMEONE ELSE wants it. YOU have to want it! Your wife had no business asking, expecting or much less letting you try and change yourself in that way.

[@SolidTrades]

He needs to listen to Andrew Tate.

[@truthseekertruthspeaker]

Listen to Andrew Tate🙏🏽🧘🏽‍♀️🔥🌹

[@TheLily97232]

The ONLY real sustainable solution to this is to undo all that hate and breaking down those thoughts about yourself. Many people in the gym that are jacked have ego, arrogance and pride but no self love that helps them move forward no matter what. Get to the root cause and work it all out little by little. Trust me it will do wonders for you