I Love My Wife (But She Doesn’t Turn Me On . . .)

[@Imaginarysonics]

Such a pet peeve when people call in and tell us how they have the best marriage ever and five minutes later we find out they’re one step away from divorce.

[@nicolen3146]

Lmao

[@ImDissonance]

You probably already know this, but if you don't know it yet then maybe this will help you feel less annoyed when you hear it happen: It's a natural coping mechanism most people participate in to handle guilt. When explaing something to an outsider we feel like we have to protect the person we love before we start saying negative things about them. Logically, it doesn't make sense because this channel is a safe space about moving into the right direction. But emotionally it helps us get the bad things out.

[@mavrk.d]

Lol it’s always the ungrateful

[@cathyh1680]

​@@ImDissonanceUnfortunately when people go on like this man did in the beginning, and people parade false hyped up descriptions of their marraige like "We're each other's best friend etc..." in Disney fantasy narrated style, it makes people believe that their own marraige isn't right, that they must be with the wrong person and then they act on that basis and their spouse is informed that it must be that they don't measure up as the right person - they don't realize that the descriptions are misleading protective narratives. It's better to either be real or just don't talk about the marraige/relationship.

[@nirestrunk4923]

I think it's possible to be a best friend without feeling like you have to have sex with your best friend. 😅

[@RandomKeto]

The first case: Any woman that's having intimacy 2-3 times a week despite *clearly* feeling a lack of connection to her husband cares. She cares a lot. She's trying. He can't even remember what she said she wanted, and his disdain for it is obvious. That's all I needed to hear to know. Also, Pronography strikes again destroying marriages. Also, is *he* physically attractive? Have they both just let themselves go? I have lots of questions.

[@jessicabender1301]

I was thinking the same thing! This guy is literally using her body, not with her

[@neechee5150]

@RandomKeto said, " Any woman that's having intimacy 2-3 times a week despite clearly feeling a lack of connection to her husband cares. She cares a lot. She's trying" I find it interesting that you chose to ignore how crappy this woman has treated her husband year after year after year. Pay close attention to 18:00 to 18:35 and what she admitted to feeling about and thinking of her husband. Also pay attention the fact that this woman is using this man for financial security and really does not care about him by her own admission. Then add the fact that this woman has NEVER initiated sex during this marriage. This is a red flag. Women who are self confident, secure, unselfish and who know that they can not expect more out of sex than what they put into sex in terms of effort, physical work, focus, preparation, communication, commitment to learning/practicing better sex skills and attitude initiate with their husbands/BF's on a consistent basis and they enjoy initiating. Could she be having an affair-certainly. Could she be a closet lesbian-certainly. Could she be depleting her libido by viewing porn? There is no shortage of women who use porn and the data shows that women who use porn search out and use the more/most violent and hardcore stuff (see study and data released by Porn Hub) Where is all of her sexual energy and passion going? For all you know this woman is the classic star fish lover who thinks that all she needs to bring to the table to have sex is to just show up. There is no shortage of women who do exactly this. Lets also not overlook the fact that this woman did not even make an effort to do anything on her husbands list nor did she offer any alternatives that she found more appealing. On the other hand the husband at least tried implementing some of the things that she had on her list, and while by his own admission that effort and action did not last long at least he tried and at least he is willing to revisit the list. She has made no such effort. There is little to no objective evidence or facts that prove that this woman really cares and that she is trying. She may be she may not be. Neither of us know for sure. Lets not overlook the fact that this woman destroyed her husbands attraction for her by the way she treated him and viewed him year after year after year. Lets also not forget that she has used this man as her guaranteed meal ticket and for financial security but really has never shown that she even likes her husband let alone actually care about him. There is just not enough evidence to prove your assertions about this woman, and your refusal to even consider that the way this woman has treated her husband year after year after year has done a great deal of damage to this marriage and hurt this man deeply is very telling.

[@toots12211]

🎯

[@Tempo50]

I don’t hear any disdain.

[@e.d972]

​@jessicabender1301 but she knows it ...

[@crazeekids9744]

My soul would be crushed if I heard my husband speak about me in this way. 😢

[@sonyareyes1732]

Yep.

[@neechee5150]

@crazeekids9744 Did you pay attention to how this woman (the wife) has treated this man? Pay close attention to 18:15 to 18:40. While he should not have said what he said to his wife (this only occurred real recently) it is very clear why this man would have a difficult time being/staying physically attracted to his wife. In addition, the fact that this wife has NEVER initiated sex since marrying this man is a HUGE RED FLAG that does not speak well of her.

[@DrReneeMudrey]

I felt the same way.

[@patriciareed559]

​@@neechee5150if she's never initiated maybe she's not interested either... but I haven't heard the whole conversation yet.

[@DaniBadger777]

Yup

[@carolynmitchell7330]

If your not connected outside the bedroom, your not going to connect inside the bedroom

[@sosalty701]

Yeah it sounds like a much deeper issue.

[@mbaratucci13]

Total amen to that!

[@stephengallagher2209]

That is not true. You can only connect in the bedroom, and never outside it.

[@babooshka7186]

​@@stephengallagher2209what are you talking about 😂

[@DD-jr3mq]

​@@stephengallagher2209That is so sad

[@spcvonhamm8857]

I would rather be alone forever than have a boyfriend/husband who said this about me, so sad

[@mniks8860]

This. Wives don't want to deal with honest communication, they only want to hear what they want to hear.

[@Luuk-op3pt]

There is no I anymore in a marriage. Its a we. Giving your life to your spouse!

[@Messymy]

Take her out. Buy her pretty things, Get her help with house, kids, etc. Step up because you are the one making her seem less that desirable.

[@lorainefleeman6011]

She deserved what she got. She only married him for his money.

[@neryshart]

Same hey 🥺get away from me I wonder if she knows This would crush me

[@aprilwashington3150]

15 years of marriage and 4 kids and NOW THIS IS A PROBLEM 🤔 I suspect someone has found someone he wants to entertain and he has to create a narrative that will allow him to be justified in doing it. And by telling his wife about the "problem", he can blame her when he's caught.

[@Asia_B_85]

Exactly.

[@lillybethford1915]

Bingo.👍

[@ptyleranodon3081]

Did you even listen to the full call? Sounds like this has been an issue for years. And you honestly can’t say that no woman has never married a man despite not being attracted to him. We all know it happens

[@Trolly.Troll.]

Not always. May just need to spice things up.

[@Alexander44665]

Or he just wants help to solve his problem. I suspect she wanted a meal ticket and got pregnant each time to further trap him.

[@MLABCD]

The more I listen to these shows, the happier I am that I’m single.

[@westbeach400]

Everytime I listen to these I tell my husband how blessed we are 😂😂😂

[@alaska49girl]

I was just thinking the same thing. I am Looking forward to becoming single and staying that way!!!

[@tanitaf1345]

Men are t r a s h

[@PickupsAreNotTrucks]

There’s nothing better than having a true partner in crime, in life. Gotta have a sidekick! Not one single human being can handle life on their own better than they can as a team with someone they love and that loves them.

[@aldorado123]

Lol, well, the whole show is based on people calling about problems, so a one-sided stereotype about relationships forms from that. The opposite image would emerge if there was a show of people only calling in because their marriage/relationships are perfect; then, we'd think the opposite. Just like the news tends to cover the most sensational aspects of human life, Dr. Dolony's show is by nature about people's problems, so it's not an accurate reflection of reality.

[@deniselevesque9464]

He wants his wife to participate more fully with a husband that isn't attracted to her.😅😅😅

[@kendrahughes8622]

Right. I don’t agree with John on this one. I think that marriage is over.

[@davidmolina7543]

Duh?!

[@vevand513]

It’s really seems like if he is initiating all the sex sounds like she’s not attracted to him. He might be saying he’s not attracted to her because she’s not doing anything to make him feel attractive. What is she doing in a relationship to make him feel good sound like he’s doing everything for her and she’s not doing much for him, which will lead to a man not feeling attractive and not being attracted

[@7RB373]

I think SHE is the one that isn't attracted to HIM. So eventually, he can feel that and thus, his attraction has faded.

[@jarvisbanks757]

@@vevand513 he gotta take a step back and let her chase him that’s how women feel safe he probably all up in her grill trying to hard I know it sounds counter productive but women like to chase so maybe he needs to get a hobby and find his purpose 🙏🏾

[@lilaworley8935]

She told him what she needed. Put it in writing for him. and he cant remember them. Its ALL about him. I bet my house he is addicted to watching corn. I feel sorry for his wife. Theres Zero intimacy. Ugh

[@elsa_nyc]

It is a performance because he isn't attracted to women...

[@DesertYogini3000]

💯 I don’t this he was being straight

[@Plooky1969]

The way he said he has to fantasize to perform (I.e. Actor). He later says she expects me to direct her. (I.e. he is trying to set up porn scenarios for her to act out). This is weird.

[@2Ryled]

Tell me he watches p*rn and expects her to do circ du soleil for him.. and then I'm bored you didn't turn into a 20yr old diff person.

[@abbyxiong3931]

He puts all the responsibility of getting aroused and being intimate on his wife. He takes zero accountability. I say that because he admits he needs to watch a other people performing. That's not her fault!! I'm also not surprised. We have a strong culture about all this and will defend their actions. It's just some people choose to live in a fantasy world instead of just looking to their partner.

[@TracWokSe]

It’s one thing to say to a women that she’s not attractive, but it’s another thing to say that to the women who gave you 4 kids.

[@theTerriberg]

Woman* singular. Women is plural. Like mAn and mEn...

[@sisselhansen3915]

​Good to correct ortografic fails.. And we understood what he meant, Anyway! So many asians & africans​ don't know about"Woman"= one woman, and"Women=Two, or more Women, we never say"Womans/womens😂😂😂 But in Afrika, men use the Word:"it" to reffer to another woman!!! (That, I tried to teach them NEVER TO SAY!!!))@@theTerriberg

[@annaandrianis7310]

Completely disagree . He should be able to tell her how he feels so they can work on the relationship more effectively.

[@theTerriberg]

@@sisselhansen3915 nothing wrong with teaching and learning

[@daniells71]

When your mother left "Afrika" it stopped.

[@britneyog9537]

John.. I wish you would’ve asked about porn use or addiction.. this is likely the reason he is dealing with this. It’s ruining marriages..

[@tracykeeney8931]

100%. Even if he isn’t looking at it now, if he did as a teenager or a young adult, that pretty much programmed his mind as to how it’s “supposed“ to be. Put more simply, the picture he has in his mind, or whatever he’s imagining, came from somewhere!

[@Gozimfon]

Spoken from a woman's perspective. From a man's perspective, you're wrong!

[@martell8560]

No, the problem is he's a cash cow, and he knows it. He's not attracted to her because he knows he's being used.

[@neechee5150]

@@tracykeeney8931 You are very biased in your assessment and rush to judgement of this man. It is convenient that you chose to ignore how this woman has treated her husband year after year after year. Please listen to 18:00 to 18:35. This woman is not a nice person. She mistreated her husband year after year after year. Listen carefully to what she admitted in terms of how she felt about and viewed her husband. it is not going to be easy to remain attracted to someone who treats you so poorly and it is not going to be easy to be/remain attracted to someone one who is flat out using you for finances and stays married to you for financial security. We also know that this woman has NEVER initiated sex with her husband. That is a huge red flag. Confident, secure women who do not use sex as a means of control and as a weapon and women who know that they can not expect more out of sex than what they put into sex in terms of effort, attitude, work and commitment to learn better sexual skills initiate sex on a consistent basis and they enjoy doing it. For all we know this woman has had a lover on the side and has been involved in a long time affair. For all we know this woman may have put on 70 pounds and has very poor personal hygiene. Yes this man should not be fantasizing of other women when he is having sex with his wife, and yes he should have never told her that he was fantasizing about other women while having sex with her. No one is questioning whether that is wrong and hurtful. However, you failed ask who or what she is thinking of while having sex with her husband. You also refused to consider that this woman may not even be attracted to me but is attracted to women and that she used sex, marriage and children to trap this man Very rarely are situations like this a one sided matter. There is no pancake so thin as to only have one side and yet your refuse to even consider that there is more to this that does not reflect well upon this woman due to how poorly she treats him That is very sexist of you. Oh and the human mind and that includes the female mind as well is very capable of putting together fantasies of what type of man/woman they would like to have sex with regardless of whether a person uses porn or not. The Romance novel industry has known this for a long time. In addition women are the fastest growing market in the world for porn use and the rate of porn use among women has been increasing rapidly over the past 20 plus years. All conservative estimates are that 33% plus of American women consume porn that rate goes up to 50 percent in the Philippines Furthermore the data and studies released by Porn Hub confirms that 33% of their US members are in fact women and their data confirms as fact that women who use porn seek out the more/most violent and the more/most hardcore stuff far far far more than do men. It is not even close. If you think women are not being affected by watching so much of the most violent and most hard core porn, then you are divorced from reality and truth.

[@cchico41]

yes!!!!

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

Patrick, you’re screwed here unless you can start to listen to your wife. Bc from what I’ve heard so far…. You don’t listen to her

[@carolinebarber7573]

Agree. He sounds like ME ME ME.... His poor wife.

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

@@carolinebarber7573 until he can realize she wants connection he’s going to be treading water. I feel for her.

[@0oohnegative]

Right?! He couldn’t even remember 5 things she put in an envelope. Hes checked out. Personally I get the vibe he’s gay and cane come out.

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

@@0oohnegative ooh interesting theory. There’s a study by Northwestern that showed that men who are closeted are more likely to become narcissists. He’s definitely narcissistic ME ME ME. So you could be right.

[@antonialuchici]

Tipical narcisistic guy, talking only about him, never really admiting his issues...

[@AndreaBeck123]

I don't think the right questions were asked here. Was he ever attracted to her? Does he watch porn? Was she always more sexually repressed?

[@helenruth5024]

I agree. It rang false to me when he was asked if he had ever had the conversation with his wife about how she felt about him. He answered, that she had married him for the money . He never had that conversation with his wife, those were his ideas of why she married him. Honestly, 3 X’s a week and she is not enough ? Get off the porn sights Mr.!

[@aprilwashington3150]

​@@helenruth5024PRECISELY! SPOT ON 🎯🎯🎯

[@aprilwashington3150]

​@@helenruth5024PRECISELY. SPOT ON! 🎯🎯🎯

[@worldviewwellness7227]

@@helenruth5024 100% agreed.

[@aprilwashington3150]

​@@helenruth5024 PRECISELY! SPOT ON 🎯🎯🎯

[@EM-KeepingtheFaith]

My ex husband used to clearly think about other females while having sex with me. His body was there, but he just closed his eyes and his mind would be scrunched up in concentration through the whole session! Other men would be all flirty and compliment my looks, I'd go home and would feel so sexually rejected by him. He had a long history of porn addiction, and i found out his fantasy was always centred around fantasising about teenage girls. Which was freaky as he had 2 teenage daughters that age, of whom i felt protective of. Yuck, I hated that relationship!!

[@alwaysyouramanda]

🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@ifinditinteresting.8709]

That's a sexual pervert who has gotten sexually unwell

[@Letsgo88809]

That’s terrible! 🤮🤮🤮

[@Mariaelaina10]

Soo your ex is a pedophile? 😢

[@probablynot1368]

Years ago, I was brutally SA’ed by a man I’d been dating for a few months. That blew our fledgling relationship apart. I later met the man whom I married. I told him of the past SA, and told him I would never participate in a specific SA act perpetrated upon me. Years go by, great marriage, 2 kids grown, etc., sex 1 - 2 x a week, great careers, life is good. Day’s end, usually relaxed with tea, reading, etc. Husband began bringing my tea to me (so nice). One night, couldn’t remember falling asleep, plus groggy in morning, and feeling physically out of sorts. Weeks later, I awaken middle of night, with him on top of me doing EXACTLY what I told him I’d never allow. I screamed, cried; he said he wanted to “live out this fantasy.” I was drugged. He herniated a disc in my lower back; I’m facing surgery. My days are filled with sadness & despair. I feel ashamed.

[@zeal4god402]

I'm fairly sure he never chose to marry a woman that thoughts of her would have him inwardly gagging as he kissed during dating and the wedding ceremony. Physical attraction is important, yet attraction involves multiple aspects. Mind, emotions, domestic support, fun, engaged in deep purpose together, sweet-talk, affirmations, respect, humor etc

[@pipertarin68]

Absolutely several layers to it.

[@sundown6748]

You’re right about this

[@JulieeEliz]

🎯👍🏼

[@STAR-LIGHT.1111]

Yes the whole package

[@julienawrocki655]

@zeal4god402 you certainly get it 👍👍👍

[@Are.Baires]

That’s what porn does, makes unrealistic expectations.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

I think that it makes unrealistic expectations for people who don't know better for sure. UN. Fortunately that's a lot of people

[@John-du2mq]

It's unrealistic to want to feel wanted by your wife by having her initiate sex? Whatever you say.

[@JustActNormal]

Exactly the first caller has been emotionally cheating the entire marriage by probably watching p*** everyday and looking at girls on tiktok and Instagram everyday

[@devpav9880]

It does sound like he wants to act out his favorite porn scenes but his wife being a normal woman wants none of it.

[@blueravenchick]

@@thedavesiknow4598 a lot of MEN.

[@brooke9847]

I can imagine it's hard for his wife to want to initiate sex with her husband when she knows he fantasizes about other women during sex. I feel for both of them because he can't help how he feels but that would be heartbreaking to hear.

[@michellebreedlove2711]

I'm wondering if it's women he's fantasizing about. I'm wondering how much porn he's watching and whether or not he's attracted to men. I'm shocked Delony didn't ask about porn because this sounds like textbook porn usage making real sex difficult.

[@benmercer4942]

I'm gonna guess that it was still the case when she didn't know about that

[@Mich-jk2ze]

It does sound brutal, but that's the storm they have to weather. It's indicative of right now, but it doesn't have to dictate their future together.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

Imagine having a button in the house that says “mentally cheat on me” and he’s suggesting she press it more often.. if at all

[@Mr.mathias693]

On the other side of that coin, it would be incredibly difficult to hear your wife or spouse say, “I was only with you earlier on because it was financially safe.”

[@texasgermancowgirl]

Porn brain, happened and is happening with my dad, it destroys men’s souls

[@tinam761]

They don’t understand that they are ruining their ability to engage in s3x with another live in person… that’s why 20 year old are getting ED and up.

[@neechee5150]

@txbre8758 that is a very convenient and sexist assumption. For all you know she is a porn addict. Women make up the fastest growing porn market in the world, and all the research is clear that the rate of porn use among women has increased dramatically over the past 20 years. Then there is the very illuminating data and study that was done by PornHub. US women comprise over 33% of their membership. That rate increased to 50% for other countries. The Porn Hub data and study also reveals that without fail women search out the more violent and more hard core forms of porn far more often than do men and it is not even close. This is something that women do not want to talk about or even consider as something that women do yet the facts are the facts. Lets look at the facts. This woman has NEVER initiated sex and that is a HUGE RED FLAG. This woman puts little to no effort into sex which always amazes me that most women expect far more out of sex than what they put into sex in terms of effort, work, focus, preparation and having a good attitude This woman is a star fish lover as well and she has all but certain never invested in learning how to improve herself as a lover and how to better please her husband. No one gets excited about having sex with a woman who acts like she does and who does the things that she does. Also it is not out of the realm of impossible that this woman is having sex outside of the marriage and thus has no libido or interested in sex when it comes to hear husband. Yet you chose to ignore this very realistic possibility You need too look at the facts, be more objective and have a more open mind towards what is really going on here.

[@firefly9838]

Not always. My ex girlfriend put on like 80 pounds in 2 years and I just completely lost all attraction. I have never watched corn. Still loved her and supported her. Still cherished her as a life partner and her personality but physical attraction was dead. Men largely need physical stimuli

[@ShoJ369]

Should you really know your Father's intimate feelings ? This makes me so uncomfortable.

[@SamanthaP48]

Gayyyyyy -> Don’t you hear the lisp?

[@sabias3932]

Dr. Deloney needs a female cohost. Somebody needed to call out the first caller about his very likely p o r n use.

[@Velor77]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[@blueseptember2174]

I mean, Kelly could do it.

[@sameerajafri747]

​@@dabd8175calling yourself an alpha is the least alpha thing to do

[@SamanthaP48]

You mean his gay closet issue? Prawn isn’t the problem. Liking dudes is.

[@hilaryjoseph9706]

First thing that came to my mind ttoo

[@BillWilliamson-y5d]

I didn't like how the first call went. Why are we putting this issue on her? I wouldn't be intimate with my husband if he told me he wasn't attracted to me and had to think about sleeping with other women. How horrible for her.

[@ColorsFlight]

yeah they have four kids and have sex 3 or 4 times a week. What a doushe.

[@ivory8581]

Why didn't he ask about porn

[@lorainefleeman6011]

It sounds like she didn't love him when they married, so it goes both ways

[@alwaysyouramanda]

First guy is leaving something out..

[@ryanromero5803]

Yea

[@Joeysgirl]

Probably porn it's almost always porn 😢

[@TenaciousMegan]

The performance aspect and the competition mindset make me think he has a porn addiction.

[@lisad7074]

Hmmm..ya think?

[@calikeisha365]

Yeah sounds gay

[@peterwilliams6361]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.

[@GregMunro]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@peterwilliams6361]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

[@GregMunro]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@peterwilliams6361]

You wont regret it

[@lynnpadgett8458]

@@peterwilliams6361 Congratulations on the success that you and your wife achieved. Sadly, so many people look at marriage as being disposable. Good for both of you for living out the vows that you made!

[@Mom99004]

Two to three times a week after being married for a while is a lot!

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

I agree… sounds like he wants even more too… I think they only have 4 kids bc they have sex so much and not bc they love eachother and wanted more children.

[@YasminMahnaz]

.maybe.. just maybe her sex drive is zero and especially after kids and his is high

[@ethan4048]

Lol no it's not seek medical help for your low drive

[@KylaAdams14]

@@ethan4048Um yeah that’s the average amount of sex couples have in the world. We are adults with lives and some with children. I know porn and books make you lose sight of reality but the average person isn’t have sex every single day.

[@ethan4048]

@@KylaAdams14 no one said every day troglodyte but your low drive sounds like a medical problem. You should see a doctor🥰

[@sheilabookspan5147]

The caller hesitated when asked if there was someone else on deck. More to this story. I think he's dealing with bisexuality.

[@SeparationOfChurchAndState]

I thought the same thing. Our society is so religious and puritanical that it causes people to feel shameful about their orientation so and they stay closeted. I noted that he said he fantasizes about “other people,” not “women” while having sex with his wife.

[@MsCristina38]

Yes he said at first he’s attracted to other “people”, he didn’t say other women. I think he’s gay.

[@PureLace]

I was wondering the same. His voice and the way he spoke kind of makes you question things.

[@Gozimfon]

Of course you're a woman, that's the only logical explanation from women when a woman doesn't turn a man on

[@PS-qn4oz]

@@MsCristina38 That was my thought, too.

[@sarahalderman3126]

So she told him what she needed in order to feel comfortable enough to get sexual and he doesn’t even remember! Why the heck would she want to bother with it, it’s obvious he doesn’t really love her.

[@peterlee584]

To be fair, she doesn't seem to be interested in his needs either.

[@hendersoncrew336]

That was my first thought too.

[@peterlee584]

He doesn't seem to realise or appreciate the fact that, for his wife, sex is about connection, not about lust or physical attraction.

[@NeeNee_B.]

Based on which part of the call? Serious question, I'm halfway listening at work so I may have missed that part lol ​@@peterlee584

[@JulieeEliz]

@@peterlee584🎯👍🏼😭

[@hwinny2]

I’m only partway through the second conversation. When someone leaves out so much information I think there’s something in their psyche that knows they totally have their part in the mess up.

[@7RB373]

yes! I have a feeling she really IS petty and I would never cause a rift between my husband and his best friend. Just let them have their relationship, sans women!

[@Jessica1201jmm]

It's painful!

[@oliviamedeiros8882]

I know, if someone doesn't want a relationship with you, you need to walk away. No one owes you anything. The caller needs to understand that the primary relationship (between the men) is not at all in danger. The ladies need to stay out of it. That is it !

[@OGA103]

Right? He keeps asking her what happened and she keeps telling John how she was disrespected. But what happened BEFORE that?

[@marshaconner908]

She doesn’t turn you on…..but do you turn her on ? It doesn’t sound like it.

[@findingaway5512]

Being intimate is about feeling connected. Not a chore to check off... She probably is just going through the motions to make him happy but she isnt even present for it. Is she exhausted..... touched out... On empty.... Has she been feeling overwhelmed.... Or doesnt know what or who she is anymore. They have kids. Motherhood takes so much out of women. Often it is more of a need for the quality time and room to breath and a helping hand then it is about the physical stuff. It is very emotional. Also as a woman I don't think I can handle if my husband was fantasizing about other women while we were together. That would instantly make me feel self conscious. She may already be uncomfortable in her own skin after kids. He should talk to her about her feelings.

[@findingaway5512]

Were they ever in love? That took a turn and I don't know. Maybe it was more out of duty then out of love the whole time. Who knows. I feel like there is more he isn't sharing and I am sure she has a completely different view on things.

[@julienawrocki655]

What would be his intent for even telling her he thinks of other women? What did he think would happen??? Something is not right here 😢.

[@lorainefleeman6011]

It sounds like she never loved him, so it goes both ways

[@TipTheScales27]

Martin’s call is my favorite call so far 🖤 What a beautiful story. I’m an immigrant too so I understand how he feels being an outsider with the anxiety

[@sandicook10]

The first caller he doesnt get it she just wants a coonection with her husband. She knows he is cheating on her with his thoughts and that is what it is.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

Zero accountability in the headspace. That’s where the solution lies.

[@oromtitiwbo5078]

He said every paper she wrote was about something else and every paper he wrote was about sX. When John asked what his wife wrote, he said I dunno…learning languages and hobbies together or something. I thought omg…that is about sX. She wants to FEEL connected to you and intimate with you mentally and emotionally in order to let her guard down and feel safe and comfortable with you physically. It is really important for women and men to understand our biological differences and make the effort to meet their partners needs. It sounds like he wants his needs met without understanding or making effort towards hers.

[@autumnm2075]

He wants connection too, people just connect in different ways.

[@elizabethpieters7798]

His. wife is probably turned off by him too.

[@lene0222]

That’s what I thought immediately

[@harrietbaker4484]

Your advice to Martin gave me chills and tears in my eyes...amazing!

[@kaylynreynolds6551]

First caller seems very dismissive of his wife Delony: What does your wife like Caller: idk, when I text her and she wants to learn a new language. He keeps going on about how she doesn’t want to be apart of his world but everything he is saying about her screams she wants to know him deeper.

[@rosedevereux2391]

Right, she has given him 5 EXPLICIT ways that she wants to be part of his world, or them together. (I cannot recall the exact phrasing.) For his 5, he said 3 of the 5 were s*x acts, hers were all things that he sounds absolutely uninterested in participating in. The man is just looking for a hole--typical. She needs to be outta there.

[@Caitlin_Peters]

I 100% understand how the wife feels.. like all he wants is sex and she wants more out of LIFE with him.. if they already have a bunch of kids then life/ relationship is not going to be about sex all the time.. the older I get the less I care about sex.. and I’ve been single since my son was very young.. because I haven’t found someone who can wants to be a best friend first as well as a sexual partner- it always feels like the end goal is sex - and it’s not. Not for me at least.

[@ChrisAndCats]

I agree with you.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I recently had a dream I was with girl. 😅

[@YasminMahnaz]

Did you become Mormon or something after having akid???? Women have akid and talk about no interest in sex..cliche..ur body feels like 2 sticks rubbing together and no arousal. It's lik touching your own arm. Ur empty vessels. Become a nun or asexual..u talk about wanting intimacy and sexual xyz.. ya right

[@YasminMahnaz]

Ps. They already are such great best friends soul mates according to him...15 damn years!!! 15.... how much more time she need from him, she wants him to think about her allll day.. she delusional..15yrs. . Not 4 not 3.m.. not 5yrs... ..damn long time and they still have sex..

[@zacharyfair6738]

because they now have to help raise a child.... I've realized to avoid women with children to prevent hurting them. Hard to build an amazing life with someone who "usually" puts child first, job second and me 3rd or 4th.

[@brooke9847]

Second call, I'd like to know what the friend's wife said to even warrant the text to meet up for coffee to talk. She's saying a whole lot without saying anything.

[@brooke9847]

@@LovePhoenix96 Eh, I disagree. She just kept saying she attacked my character.

[@LovePhoenix96]

@@brooke9847 because he told her I don't want to know the details.. he shut her down so badly

[@ambernelli7791]

I just went and listened to part of the call and apparently the other woman said she was being petty and causing drama. I'm surprised John didn't ask her if she was someone who stirs up drama. Maybe it doesn't matter but that was where my head went. I feel bad for the guys but not all wives click. The other wife just probably doesn't want anything to do with the other woman (the caller)anymore. Especially if the potential is there for drama.

[@biffm.2806]

@@ambernelli7791the fact that she’s keeping this “drama” alive by trying to meet up with the wife..makes me think she does in fact stir up drama. Lol

[@peterlee584]

​​​@@biffm.2806Not necessarily. She could just be wanting to resolve the conflict and find closure. That's different ftom being petty and starting drama. I would like to know what the original conflict was about. Also, the fact that the froend's wife is basically attacking the csller's characyer and then not allowing her to respond or defend herself, telling her to "just get over it", makes her sound like a Narcissistic Bully.

[@Myraisins1]

I wonder if this guy watches or has watched a lot of corn. This is what it does to intimacy.

[@vevand513]

Seem more like the wife don’t. Want him,

[@melanieb2132]

​@vevand513 one feeds into the other. Wife gets tired and feels undesirable.. she disconnects... he does porn... she does get pulled back into feeling sexy.. it's cyclical.. Porn puts a bandaid on lack of connection and makes it way worse over time

[@alwaysyouramanda]

Niche Corn..

[@lindseeeyylou]

My thoughts too.

[@schy9614]

This!!! People don't realise corn can damage a relationships. There's literally many studies of this area.

[@kiesh82]

It doesn’t seem like the attraction thing was addressed. Was he attracted to her early on? What specifically is he not physically attracted to? They have 4 kids, I’m sure that doesn’t help.

[@penelope5500]

Apparently he was "attracted to her" a time or two there...

[@vevand513]

That’s what I’m thinking, It seem to me that she just doesn’t want to have sex with him Especially if he’s doing all the little things that she’s asking for maybe she’s just not attracted to him and just not saying anything

[@r-anne7375]

@kiesh82 Exactly right. He said that he isn't sexually attracted to her. That wasn't addressed.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I’m gonna guess she put on a few pounds 😢 terrifying

[@7RB373]

I think SHE is not attracted to HIM, and he's finally feeling the consequences of that by not being excited with her anymore.

[@Tylervrooman]

"nothing on the list had anything to do with sex..." Duh bro... Wake up dude.

[@joshdh46]

I really think Patrick is homosexual. I just hear it in his voice

[@westbeach400]

Very weird you say that. I thought that the whole call too

[@klickingkayasmr7585]

Yep! 🎯 and didn’t he say he fantasizes about others, not only women?? 🫢

[@TheEquiss]

Yep I know exactly how that is. My ex only wanted sex. Demanded it. It was nothing but a performance and if he didn’t think I performed loud enough, or physically enough etc, he would get angry and start accusing me of cheating. He didn’t care about anything I did or wanted to do. He didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I was just something to use for sex. This guy sounds exactly the same. He can’t do anything with his wife unless it revolves around sex. I divorced after 35 years. I will never ever bother with another guy again. It’s so much more peaceful living alone.

[@amydaniels6442]

I think this call went in the entirely wrong direction. The dude admits to not being sexually attracted to his wife and having fantasies of other women when they’re having sex. This really wasn’t addressed. Deep questions need to be asked and investigated. Not going sideways and talking about other languages and this and that. Deep down this guy’s got way bigger issues thatneeds to have the layers peeled back. And John didn’t even attempt in my opinion.

[@Christine_GoBills]

He actually said different people. Not women. Big difference.

[@Tee-kc3pn]

He said people which usually mean the same sex

[@ivory8581]

Agreed! I bet he is looking at porn

[@gerijabarr6585]

It seems that John is mostly about John & how HE comes across, not about so much the callers.

[@Kevin.Grindel]

John was trying to help the guy get his wife to want to participate, because if she engages with him, he will find her more attractive, which would solve the problem

[@dianamadrigal4823]

As an immigrant and daughter of immigrants who’s majority of our extended family is still in Mexico this made me weep. Thank you for acknowledging Martin and validating him and his experiences and vicariously me. ❤

[@lisap3628]

❤

[@KD-vi2rq]

John has a hard time calling out men who do porn, which ruins relationships.

[@immaturian9652]

he's done it over and over again. This guy didn't say porn was involved.

[@worldviewwellness7227]

Totally Agree. I would love to hear John talk about the ptsd it induces in the partner that has been cheated on for the length and breadth of the marriage...and yes...porn is adultery.

[@csx6910]

What are you talking about? He gives women free passes to their bad behavior, not men.

[@beastshawnee]

@@immaturian9652 Clearly porn IS involved whether or not he wants to say that… They Never wanna say their imaginary favorite activity is messing up their favorite activity in real life! But overstimulation is a major problem. It’s also escalating or perhaps descending…where the regular porn doesn’t work for them anymore so they start down the path of watching deviant porn which…is degrading and dangerous to women and children. Then the guilt cycle starts interfering as well. Some men have cycled thru every type and head over to live phone or computers calls and pay people to degrade them as well. Sad sick cycle. And this guy- he thinks he won’t mention the porn but is just not attracted to a live female human being… Nah - it’s the porn.

[@Esterfortofay357]

@@immaturian9652wake up

[@mrs.annalie.kotajarvi]

Second call seems to be leaving out a lot….she won’t say what she said that attacked her character, which makes me think it was true and she’s upset she was called out on it.

[@nahoga]

EXACTLY!

[@westbeach400]

Yes completely

[@lindadoerr7919]

Dr John, Your session with Martin was beautiful. His relief was palatable. 👍

[@sinisterchin1592]

Martin, I’m shedding some tears for you, brother. I see you dude. You’re not alone.

[@bgcyrus]

The call with Martin was so heart-wrenching but great! ❤️ At the beginning of the call he sounded like a guy that was ready to end it all when he has so much to live for. I really hope the letters bring him the peace he so desperately needs. Sounds like a wonderful man, someone I’d love to hang out with, on our own or with our wives. Great conversation had me nearly in tears.

[@kathymccarthy5264]

I wish he asked the 2nd caller why the other woman called her a name. I feel like the caller is the problem.

[@victoriaporsiempre]

yes, you don’t call someone “petty” or “dramatic” just by asking to go out for coffee 🤔

[@snopure]

Well, clearly the other party doesn't want to work it out with the caller, so the advice given in the broadcast was appropriate regardless.

[@kathymccarthy5264]

@@clearsky4003 you are only hearing one side.

[@augiemay8677]

​@@snopure caller also said the other wife had said "if it wasn't for our husbands we wouldn't be friends". So why is caller forcing a relationship with the other wife where there isn't one? Would it make a nice image? Lifelong friends and their wives are all friends and do stuff together? Ya. But there's no reason the wives HAVE to be friends. The men can have their friendships and the wives can have their own friendships outside of that. No harm no foul.

[@BirdDogey1]

2 or 3 times a week. Most married men would be happy to get that a year.

[@Mom99004]

Thats what i said!!!

[@kam0406]

Sex at least 1 to 2 times a week is important! 2 to 3 times a year is a sign that there’s a problem. At least for most healthy adults.

[@lilaworley8935]

Lmao. Have 4 children and hit perimenopause and then talk about how many times per week is healthy. It's SUBJECTIVE 😂😂​@@kam0406

[@peterlee584]

​@@kam0406exactly.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

@@kam0406if you’re successful (in procreating) one to two times a year IS IT. It’s recreation and that’s the problem. Dude needs a hobby 😂😂 outside of watching corn

[@lynnpadgett8458]

He hasn’t loved this woman for a long time, and the same thing may well apply to her. When someone tells you what they need or want and your response is “I’m not interested in that.” What you’re really saying is, I’m not interested in you!

[@neechee5150]

@lynnpadgett8458 Did you listen to the entire narrative? Did you not hear what she said early in their marriage and how she treated him for the first 8 years of their marriage? Did you not hear the fact that this woman has NEVER initiated sex with her husband. Women who are self confident, unselfish and skilled lovers who know that they have to put as much effort into sex as they expect from their man initiate sex constantly and they enjoy initiating.

[@lynnpadgett8458]

@@neechee5150 yes, I heard that, and if that’s what happened, he would have every reason to fall out of love with her. My point is that neither one of them truly seems motivated to hear the other, nor are they willing to compromise. The husband wants to hang on to a relationship that doesn’t respect him. I wish both of them all the luck in the world

[@joyoung9118]

4 kids in 14 years sounds exhausting in that bad sex marriage.

[@karaa7595]

First caller: "I'm gay..."

[@Sunsetsnail99]

Oooh that’s interesting. I didn’t even think about that.

[@allisonscanlan4144]

But then why do they have sex 3 times a week

[@PropaneIsLife]

Yep

[@ThatsJustPeechy]

The first words out of his mouth, I thought to myself, he’s gay.

[@jenchamberlin5871]

Bingo

[@marypladsen5231]

The conversation with Martin may have been the best I've heard - the mother using the Spanish-English dictionary to help the kids with homework, Francisco at 87 in Vegas, my oh my. Thank you so much, friend John.

[@sara-jonathanjerdan738]

That brought me to tears. What a strong man with an amazing father and grandfather.

[@samarashumate1024]

Patrick just wants someone to tell him it's okay to get a divorce.

[@jjkatz]

Or have an affair

[@joanlovelace7338]

The young man from Phoenix broke my heart. Dr John was amazing 👏 👏

[@eddier115]

This is why husbands and wives likewise should stay in good shape for each other. You can be beautiful inwardly ( which is much better than outward beauty), but if your outward appearance goes down the drain then its hard to ignore

[@sherridevries9144]

Ageee

[@eddier115]

@clearsky4003 I did write that inward appearance is more important... Here's the thing, anyone can stay or get into shape. First, you'll live longer, and second, your spouse will be more attracted to you and vice versa. And sexual attraction is a big part in keeping a marriage alive and healthy.

[@sherridevries9144]

@@eddier115 on point! 🎉

[@ireefree2024]

I'm sorry but his introducing in the beginning is bull... Because their are not soulmates, not even close. Also he seems of mixing fantasy and reality because of porn or whatever. I can't be in a romantic relationship and doesn't have the physical aspect of desire. It's there or not. I don't think he loves her. It's just have been lust and it's over. Simple as that. Now it's the benefits of marriage but no desire anywhere.

[@ciarajeanr]

Right? These people don't even like each other. They're just together for the kids.

[@AlorsonDanseX]

*they* are not 🐴 Illiterate one

[@nzingaward]

It seems like she loved him. He is definitely has sex issues and is not being honest about his addictions. He just wants sexual fantasies acted out and she wants an actual marriage. To connect and be friends. She wants to feel loved and he wants what he is watching and seeing in his head. He said she isn’t participating when he is the one not participating in their marriage… I’m not talking about their home or parenting… I’m talking about their relationship outside of everything else going on in their lives. Their marriage.

[@ciarajeanr]

@@nzingaward She told him he was just a paycheck.

[@sheilaghburchart3513]

Dr. John….wow, just wow…the session with amazing Martin made me cry.

[@kristinemaskrey925]

Your call with Martin was one of the best I've heard 💛

[@brentayers3132]

Why does the drama that Amanda creates get to harm her husband’s friendship? I’d be like, “Too bad our wives don’t get along.” That’s on them.

[@franciskeys9810]

My guess is that it's because this show is all about women. The obvious answer here is that these lifelong best friends hang out without the two women who can't get along, but in this woman-centered perspective the men can't be friends because the two women are more important.

[@autumnm2075]

I'm not close to my husband's friends wives, it's fine. Amanda sounds like a drama maker and people like that make me say "yeah, no" to having a "conversation."

[@helianabanes4875]

Agreed, and I felt like the caller WAS probably petty. Who cares? Let them hang out! You don't need to be a part of EVERYTHING your partner does. I would understand if his friend was talking shiz, or being disrespectful, but it is the wife. Just don't involve either wife. This made me sad for her husband.

[@VV-er3zg]

@@helianabanes4875 def petty like why do they HAVE to meet for coffee lmao

[@TheGomez1105]

The second caller, people are gonna do what they are gonna do. She doesn’t want to have a relationship with you. Don’t let her live in your head it will lead to resentment.

[@VV-er3zg]

Sounds like the girl is right and she is petty and dramatic 😂

[@msdixieblues]

The second caller sounds evasive about why the other wife is attacking her character. Not saying she is right but kind of curious what the real drama was here.

[@barefooterin2817]

Yeah, and john shut that part down... that was the lynch pin! Lol.... he totally missed it

[@serenityhomemaking]

The 3rd caller was the best. JOhn is really good at helping those type of callers.

[@sophiaalvarez6137]

literally made me cry

[@howunoriginal2]

I cried too

[@tredd9019]

Hes bummed because "she doesn't want to get to know" him? After 14 years? Oh, she knows you, honey. Like the back of her hand, she knows you. There's something he's not admitting that he feels shame about.

[@B.Gunnin]

Well if there's nothing left to learn then it's time for divorce. Real marriage... You learn something new everyday

[@ivnehaas]

2nd caller is creating a problem where there is none. Why are you trying so hard to have a relationship with her? Break up with her already, let the guys keep their relationship. They are mature enough to not bring up the wives issues into their guys time. Or not, but it's theirs to figure out. You get to have different set of friends and that ok.

[@uhhggg9335]

Second caller is definitely the problem in their friendship

[@findingaway5512]

Loved teh last call and hearing his story and about his grandpa. Resilient man from a resilient family. I am excited for him and what his future will be.

[@STAR-LIGHT.1111]

He feels that he need to perform, So he also feels she has to perform. But women need to feel wanted and loved and not like a doll. Their is a reason why she feels disconnected and that's because of the selfishness from him. Atleast she still wants to do fun things togheter.

[@biffm.2806]

I think first caller is bored with bedroom life. He shares his fantasies, and wife shoots them down. But, he’s also not understanding that the wife’s “fantasies” aren’t sexual. Men need to understand women’s sexual experiences aren’t just physical. My husband and I don’t always share the same fantasies, but we both try to at least partially meet the other’s desires.

[@sopranosd]

Did he say she shot down his fantasies? I didn't hear that. He has been telling her, through his actions and attitude, that something is wrong with their sex life and it is somehow her fault, and how he has actually told her in words that he doesn't find her attractive. He's the one shooting down her fantasies by scoffing at them. He's a jerk.

[@biffm.2806]

@@sopranosd yes, he mentioned that she didn’t want to try anything. Also, being able to be open and honest with your spouse is a good thing. If my husband was struggling with our relationship, I would hope he would have enough respect for me to let me know so we can work on it together. However, I definitely think there’s a right way to have the conversation (don’t just come out and say, “you’re not attractive”). Also, I agree he’s being clueless about what she’s telling him.

[@sopranosd]

@@biffm.2806 Spot on. And thanks, I blew past the part where he said she didn't want to try anything (whatever that actually means, because there's anything and there's ANYTHING - he could have some really creepy ideas of what would be fun. ) And I totally agree that to not open up to his wife honestly and kindly, and to completely ignore what she wrote asked for (what a dufus - it's FIVE things) is utterly disrespectful. He does not treasure this woman. He only blames her. Not for nothing, but I think your husband is lucky to have a wife who is a safe space for her husband's feelings. Good on you, girl!

[@nedawilmhoff3599]

Thank you for correcting yourself about Kelly. I’m sensitive to put downs even if in fun.

[@izzywox8246]

Me too lol

[@johannamiklos4352]

Four children, and he feels "lonely." He calls the show to have a public excuse out of responsibility and accountability. I feel sorry for her. She's going to be a single mom of four.

[@Trolly.Troll.]

I forget Men can’t feel lonely.

[@Alexander44665]

What!? Loneliness in marriage is very different than being lonely as a parent. He's clearly talking about the former, not the latter. I feel sorry for him. His wife admitted that she used him for his resources. I hope after his kids are grown, he finds a woman who loves him. At what point does she have accountability?

[@neechee5150]

@johannamiklos4352 You need to leave your sexism, your female chauvinism and your misandry at the door and listen the the entire narrative. This woman shut her husband out for the first 8 years of the marriage. She made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with getting to know her husband and that she wanted nothing to do with doing anything that he enjoys even outside of sex. This woman made it clear that all she sees this man as is an ATM, a meal ticket, free rent and a money tree. Financial exploitation is a form of abuse. You need to go back to the start of the video segment and listen to the entire narrative and then grow up enough to accept that there is no pancake so thin as to only have one side. Until this woman owns what she has done to create this bad marriage nothing will change.

[@Trolly.Troll.]

@@Alexander44665 yup, I think all these automatic man-blamers gloss over that fact. “She was never attracted to him and he was just a breadwinner”

[@michellelee487]

That second caller-she ruined her husband’s friendship and he’s probably bitter about it.

[@bettybutterbean5759]

I told my partner what was on my bucket list and within two hours I was able to tick one off! And we're a new relationship but ancient people! Talk to each other darnit! 🤣

[@girlygirl1890]

@bettybutterbeans that is so awesome. I am happy for you that you have such an unselfish partner who is able to meet you half way. I have a question...when you said "you are ancient people" what are you saying? Are you talking about both of your ages? How old are you two, if so? That's great.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

That is so cute 😂

[@bettybutterbean5759]

@@girlygirl1890 we were 60 and 70. 🤣Unseemly behaviour!!!

[@kibeast]

Yes! And lol 😂

[@girlygirl1890]

@@bettybutterbean5759 60 and 70. That is sooo wonderful! So happy for both of you that you found each other. Thanks for the advice to everyone to "Talk to each other." You are sooo right! 🙏

[@thedavesiknow4598]

Billy Idol, "Got to be a Lover" comes to mind. We dont know the art if being a lover especially in the days of independence, power and leveling up. Many ancient societies taught the art of love and we just lost the art. It has been dwindled down to "smashing, body count, power etc..." In fundamental religious culture you are taught to wait for marriage and save your special gift for your marriage partner but are not taught how to be a lover or a or even get into that energy. Something so natural gets so screwed up. How did it get so glib?

[@Morenita570]

Don’t be glib, Tom Cruise!!!

[@maryknight6020]

Okay...the second caller is being VAGUE...what triggered the friend's wife to say she was petty?? If you're not going to tell the whole story, do not bother calling!

[@coachclaudiawith_hope]

Something nice about Kelly: I have been listening to the show since 2010, have seen many personalities come and go. The newer crew seems to be more involved and this is what makes the show fun or lighthearted. I have viewed Kelly on all the Ramsey shows, she handles the backstage or unseen and does it well. I love listening to Kelly and Dr John joke, they sound like brother and sister. The best jokes are the ones where Kelly has tats and it’s obvious she does not. The best joke Kelly gives back is when Dr John asks “ Am I the problem” and Kelly says, “You are.” I crack up so hard. Awesome show. I love this show. Thank you to all in the booth 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤❤

[@annetteysquierdo]

He eats junk food and wonders why the broccoli isn’t tasty. He needs to starve lusting after women, so that when he is with his wife, it’s satisfying. He needs to read Every Man’s Battle. It talks about this.

[@Nala-wn3jr]

Something doesn't sound round about the way this caller talks. He doesn't sound like he's devastated that he's got this great marriage but isn't attracted to his wife. He introduces the marriage as amazing, yet sounds bored/emotionally disengaged when talking about it. Usually when you have a great relationship but just don't feel attracted to your partner, there's an underlying level of sadness/guilt/desperation which this caller doesn't seem to have

[@xstevenx8132]

He sounds like he has a professional job, it’s even in apparent in some of the phrases he uses. My guesses is that he has trained himself to not let emotions show.

[@jillmcbain88]

The high expectations for sex and playing out men fantasies makes marriage seem so stressful. Women do not have the same sex drive as men.

[@suadasuehuseinovic2472]

I just discovered this you tube channel about a week ago and now I can’t CAN NOT get enough! I’m binge watching every episode like NETFLIX what’s that !? 😅😅 John you , your wife and fam are amazing !!

[@montymython754]

This is already on Spotify. The spoiler is he wants her to initiate more and try new things in bed and she wants to connect intimately on a non-sexual level, and neither spouse is willing to do what the other wants. And Delony pulls out his old favorite, “you don’t feel alive in your life”. There you go, no need to listen now.

[@blessedpatience]

So true. We complicate things ourselves. Pay attention to each other.

[@Cuntspiracy2.0]

Ah the ol "Try new things in bed and have the woman initiate them" line... aka, "I want you to do the things the women in the porn I am watching are doing" troupe. It's a tale as old as time. She should check his search history/ watch history on his phone. It's always the phone.

[@pipertarin68]

This was truly sad! I could never stay in this Type of Relationship.

[@BirdDogey1]

Oh ya, Dr. Baloney is the King of Cliche Counseling.

[@chernagast6754]

Nothing wrong with trying things, but if there's no emotional connection, the wife will not want to initiate. The other question I wanna know is what the new things are, because most of the time I hear about stuff like this, it's something he's seen in a porno, and she's not comfortable with it.

[@jezikamariscal]

I’m grateful for this show. While our situations aren’t always the same, the communication strategies and identifying root issues has helped me navigate my relationships and capable of having hard conversations ❤️

[@kbc1883]

I think it sounds like Patrick wants to leave the marriage but he is trying to convince himself that he wants to stay. So much resistance in his voice. I commend his hope that he can stay married and wanting to try, but I think it is all intellectual for him and his heart and soul aren't in it. Maybe his intellect can be a bridge that his heart and body can cross. But I imagine that would be extremely hard if his wife isn't equally invested.

[@sabias3932]

All intellect? Where did you get that from? He's all about his own sexual satisfaction. If his wife looked and acted like the women he watches in p o r n he wouldn't have a problem with his marriage. That's far from coming from a place of intellect.

[@rosedevereux2391]

@@sabias3932 🎯🎯🎯

[@joeyj9490]

Amen! Thank you for sharing the gospel with Martin . I can definitely relate to him in a lot of ways. He’s searching for love from outside sources and that will never fulfill you. We need to learn to love ourselves first and forgive ourselves, our past, family hurts and heal from trauma.

[@erickenneycreative]

This is going to sound weird, but the thing that made me face myself ... gave me and still shines for me the path to grief, healing, acceptance, connection, maturity, intimacy, and real meaning .... .... the TV show LOST. Some people have the allegories of their religion. I have the allegories of these broken people who crash on an island, all slaves to their trauma ... acting out, projecting, bandaging their wound with skill, knowledge, drugs, denial, etc. It showed me that we don't transform. We cant change who we are BUT ... we can change the direction of our compass and what we do with who we are. We can embrace the fact that yes we faced trauma and that created a me that can't do, can't be certain things but it also created an armor that helped me survive and informs me what I am strong enough to go without .. because I've gone without it. Now I'm just trying to be the me I always have been, make the choice I was always going to make but now with wisdom, responsiblity, and perspective. That little show gave me that 15 to 20 years ago, in my late 20s/ early 30s, right when I needed it most. Slowly .. over the years it has changed my life. Now I chooses for me instead of that little boy that did for decades. Thank you Lost.

[@jeg4051]

The second call had me in tears. I am female but I can relate to his story about coming to this country when I was a child. I’ve been looking for my purpose everywhere as of recent years. I don’t think I could have been able to tie it back to all the insecurities I lived through due to coming to this country. I need to do what John prescribed him. Love your show John, your wisdom and guidance is helping many ❤

[@Mmmmkaaay]

My ex husband told me once that "sometimes I look at you and you're so hot. And other times you're just....not." We were divorced a year later. Ef that noise! Ironically, all of his girlfriends in the last eight years have been 🐶🐶🐶. Sweet karma!

[@steferific]

Does she work? Does she clean? Does she take care of the kids? Does she do laundry? Does she cook? Does she manage all the chores and the tasks that you do not ....and you wonder why she does NOT want to initiate! You are just another person she takes care of - she's f***** tired! But you want HER to initiate???? What is the husband doing to make sure his wife is taken care of? 😒

[@Kathy-qu8zj]

OMG.. THIS..

[@lillybethford1915]

I agree👍 however, if she’s not ‘working’ outside the home…she’s still working. Taking care of children and running the home can be exhausting. Plus, adding a whinny, ungrateful, inconsiderate partner to the mix, I feel very sad for her.😳

[@steferific]

I guarantee you if he was focused on making sure that she was happy and had all of her needs and desires fulfilled, she would reciprocate! However, I don't feel that that's the case and is having a pity party for himself, which, as a woman and wife myself, sex with that kind of man would be the farthest thing from my mind!

[@neechee5150]

@@steferific said, "I guarantee you if he was focused on making sure that she was happy and had all of her needs and desires fulfilled, she would reciprocate"! Did you even listen to the entire narrative? What objective corroborated facts and testimony are you basing this clam upon? You are making some sexist assumptions here and the fact that this woman has NEVER initiated sex during their entire marriage is a HUGE RED FLAG This woman is not nice. Pay close attention to how she has shut him out of her life for years and told him outright that she had no interest in getting to know him and to connect with him. The man can not even feel comfortable in his own home and he is being used as a human walking ATM for her and she has exploited him for his financial resources. I have to laugh at women who say what you say. Men are tired all the time too and yet we find the means to get motivated to have sex and to perform. Women are under no pressure to perform and many just lie their like star fish. Women who are unselfish self confident and skilled lovers rise to the occasion. These kinds of women know that they can not expect more out of sex than what they put into sex. These kinds of women own the fact that they need to bring their A game and put in as much or more effort as the man does because they know know that what they as women bring to the having sex table is always 50 % of the sexual equation

[@kamilagryziewcz413]

Spot on girl! How do they not understand this is beyond me😢

[@keylacmckemp1309]

Almost broke my nails trying to select this and scroll down to the comments.

[@anamontiel1544]

You are a good man Dr. Delony. You really helped that young man with the grandfather.

[@ma_ncube]

I love how Dr John ended the 3rd call ❤

[@ambera.7668]

Love Martin!! You can tell he's a genuine soul and puts 110% into everything he does. Listening to the story of his grandfather in Vegas made me smile ear to ear because you could hear how happy it made him to tell it. I hope he finds peace and happiness within himself. ❤️

[@Asia_B_85]

Everything he said during this whole call is a lie except he’s not attracted to his wife. He wants to be with other women and he’s blaming her.

[@digitalcassette5]

Love how quickly u hit the nail on the head with this one. From not attracted to her anymore to.. well it goed both ways. Probably why she isnt feeling it either

[@Katie-j9u]

What is he not attracted to? We never got to that….

[@SamanthaP48]

-> Women

[@mentak2593]

@@SamanthaP48😂

[@HallieSinclair]

@@SamanthaP48I got that vibe, too…

[@SamanthaP48]

@@mentak2593 - 😅

[@J-lah7928]

Sounds like 1st dude has a corn addiction.

[@lauragem796]

She may not be attracted to him anymore.

[@elainenilsson5472]

Maybe your life shouldn't revolve around sex. He asked her what she wanted and he can't remember what it was, lol.........dude, that's a problem.

[@joyoung9118]

I wondered if the caller felt uncomfortable listing what was written in their lists.

[@Kathy-qu8zj]

This is the sad human experience.. “beam me up Scotty..”

[@beckyperkins7393]

Loved the friend talk. Sometimes breaking up with lifetime friends is hard but in the same sentence you’ve grown beyond their friendship. They aren’t mature, turn to addiction, always drama, and so much that you do have to end that friendship and find other friends that can grow with you or at the level of life you’re at. Some people can’t or won’t or refuse to get there to the place of responsible adult. You no longer live in that place and can’t go backwards. Thank you.

[@chanetra0918]

So many commentors are talking about porn and fantasies when the first callers wife told him she wasn't interested into getting to know him, and that she saw him as a bread winner only. That is very sad. I would have walked away that day if I were him. Some people get married out of a matter of course, very sad indeed.

[@KylaAdams14]

Um yeah because he straight up admitted he won’t meet her needs at all. He can’t even remember what she asked frfr! Because he clearly doesn’t care and only wants his physical needs met. That’s why we went around it and John got on to him. You can’t expect someone to want to know you when you ignore all of their needs and consistently pressure than into more and more sexual acts. Both of these people need to get their act together.

[@blueravenchick]

I kinda feel he lied about that to make himself look better, but who knows......

[@chanetra0918]

@@KylaAdams14,@blueravenchick I believe him, and I think they got married for the wrong reasons. Even the doc picked up on it saying he didn't feel comfortable in his own house. I am a woman who loves sex, so I can't relate to his wife, but it wouldn't surprise me if the uptick of sex they are having isn't gratuity of some kind. They both need to view each other in a healthier manner or part.

[@neechee5150]

@@blueravenchick How convenient. You make sexist assumptions based upon your biases rather than on facts.

[@elettramia6380]

@@chanetra0918being a woman who loves sex, and being a woman who feels forced due to marriage to have sex with a man who disgust you are two very different worlds. I’ve experienced both, eventually you want sex from any other man than your partner, because your male partner does Not deserve your touch in your own opinion.

[@agraphic9494]

Martin - I see you and hear you. My family immigrated to the US when I was 5 and I’m 28 now. This really hit home. Thank you both 🙏

[@Dixie8642]

How can ya not love DJD and his heart? That last precious caller and conversation. 🥰🥰🥰