My Husband’s Not Sexually Attracted to Me

My Husband’s Not Sexually Attracted to Me
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[@Ja50nkAt]

He's in the "cheaper to keep her" mode.

[@vashtibascombe701]

That may be the case, also the lady that he is having an affair with is still married . So that may be a factor as well.

[@bailey309]

Yup. Understand where he’s at.

[@gossipandgrigio7200]

This is emotional abuse

[@MrCarpediem6]

But what other mode is there... When we save life... There's no clause in there that says cheaper to keep her ?

[@nly4607]

​@gossipandgrigio7200 what percent of divorce would you call "financial abuse"? Lol

[@CryingRaven]

Of course he doesn't want a divorce. He's got a live in maid that helps him pay bills.

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

Nope he doesn’t want to get divorce graped to kingdom come. Reason why most men don’t want to marry

[@alexisjankowski3281]

And a married woman as a side chick so he’ll never have to be responsible for the second woman either.

[@Nastasyashanti]

I’m sure she also takes care of all appointments, children birthdays and school trips, any interactions with relatives and their problems etc

[@Vitorfernandes83]

Maid? Pay bills? Have you ever lived with a woman. Modern women do none of these.

[@survivormary1126]

@@Nastasyashanti Right. If she leaves now she won't have to put up with this MoFo for the rest of her life.

[@SaystheTruth3]

Oh boyyy...... All she needed to say is that her husband started a "friendship" with a coworker.........🧐🙄 You're in denial lady!!!!

[@nsp31a]

Casey can't run away from this guy fast enough.

[@temposhop8739]

After some long experiences with women close to me who were in the state she is in, I now view them differently. I no longer believe they're any better than the men they prioritize and vicariously gain self esteem from.

[@greenAbbot]

@@temposhop8739 What are you talking about? “Vicariously gain self-esteem”? If you don’t gain self-esteem from your intimate relationships, then you haven’t been in intimate relationships. But there’s nothing vicious about that. And what did this woman do that comes anywhere close to shutting off intimacy with his wife and finding it with another woman?

[@temposhop8739]

@@greenAbbot I have healthy intimate relationships and have also had front row seats to what it looks like when people (women, in my case, since I am one an most of my close friends are also) have no self worth and prop themselves up with being attached to a man who doesn't care about her. Much like addicts like to say "my substance is medicine" or "it expands my consciousness." It takes a level of delusion to justify that their reliance makes them a better person. You seem deeply upset by my comment to have interpreted it as blaming the woman for her man cheating. How asinine.

[@bee12452]

@@temposhop8739 I interpret this as you saying the woman needs to take accountability for accepting known situations like this, and also as a woman I agree. He shouldn't cheat on her for sure, but we also need to know when to leave or else we'll be stuck in a victimized state. It's definitely hard to realize this, but once I did it became easier to not tolerate certain men and leave when necessary.

[@jasminebaby3375]

1. You guys just celebrated 18 years, but he didn’t acknowledge it 🚩🚩🚩 2. He never say good night to you, but he says good morning and good night to the “lady friend” 🚩🚩🚩 3. She told her that he cherish her 🚩🚩🚩 4. He comes home two hours late from work and ignores you 🚩🚩🚩 5. Telling you to be friends with someone he knowns you are uncomfortable with 🚩🚩🚩 6. Two therapist told you to get a divorce 🚩🚩🚩 Lady love yourself and get out of this crappy marriage. He is emotionally abusing you and making you feel like you are the crazy!!

[@carriefawcett9990]

​@@randybobandy9828triggered by the truth, huh?

[@knowthyself8233]

I don't know what she's waiting for?🤔

[@randybobandy9828]

@@knowthyself8233 there is no truth to it lmao. Not saying goodnight isn't emotional abuse 🤣🤣🤣

[@devadii24]

🎯🎯🎯

[@thornyrose1235]

So true!!! 7. Reading texts from co-worker's friend that she's going to be HEARTBROKEN if he doesn't attend BBQ 🚩🚩🚩 8. Storming off during therapy bc he called out for not doing the bare minimum 🚩🚩🚩 9. Telling this co-worker everything going on in his marriage 🚩🚩🚩 10. No sex for a year, coincidentally around the time he's becoming besties with female coworker 🚩🚩🚩 There was nothing in that call that gave me the impression that this man wanted to keep his marriage. He wants her to stay out of convenience for him but he does not care about her as a human being. It's beyond disgusting and she deserves so much more than that. Love yourself enough to leave this situation.

[@texasdazzlers]

“We just celebrated 18 years…well, we didn’t really celebrate because he didn’t acknowledge it.” It’s terrifying that there are people actually living in marriages like this, treating their spouses like trash and their spouse just puts up with it passively for years as though they have no choice. It’s over, ma’am.

[@blas8866]

My friend is like this caller. Tells me her husband always said she isn’t his type and he’s not attracted to her. He never initiated or wants to have sex with her. She always has to beg for it. I just listen but it’s sad she doesn’t see it for what it really is. Oh, and six weeks after giving birth to their firstborn, he finds his ex gf on FB and messages her for “coffee.” She won’t get a divorce. I say she chooses to live in her own reality that is a bubble of delulu.

[@realist8979]

​@@blas8866 I feel sorry for your friend.😢😢

[@devadii24]

@@blas8866That’s awful 😢

[@user-ex6nd8dq8w]

All that is well, however there has to be more context. Men, even if they cheat, they always have energy for sex so they will cater for the wife too. When they don't then there are either medical issues (e.g. diabetes etc.) or psychological ones. For example, I had heard a similar case (from my irl environment) of a man whose wife complained to her female friends that he did not touch her anymore. Guess what : in the end it came out that she actually had cheated on him in the past, he had not found out in time, she ended her affair and resolved to stick to the marriage thinking her husband had not detected anything, but then someone told the man that his wife "most probably cheated", he connected the dots for the given period, and hence he pondered divorcing her, finally deciding that he did not want to lose house and kids and hence stuck with her. But not wishing to have sex with her again as she disgusted him, he started visiting prostitutes... and the sex was so good that he could just not go back to having sex with his wife even if he was willing to forgive her, and he was of course not at all willing. When men don't sleep with their wives, it is thus either a medical issue (I count in there the rare but existing case of homosexuality as well) or a psychological one, usually based on grievances, often very valid ones.

[@biolife3274]

That’s person is my mom. It’s sad to see it so many years

[@sherryd3299]

She's not ready to face that fact that her husband is having an affair with this other woman. I feel for her.

[@ptulip]

He may not be sleeping with her, but he's checked out 100%.

[@imlistening3218]

Emotional affairs are equally destructive. Unless you've lived that hell, you don't understand the excruciating devastation of it all.

[@smeagoltheunrealdeviant9357]

i think he already fell in love with the other girl...

[@williamedward3198]

Yep sounds like she’s dependent on him

[@cdula26]

@@ptuliplet me give you a man’s perspective, he’s 1000000% sleeping with the other woman and doesn’t want to file for divorce and lose half of everything he has to the wife.

[@nameunknown1519]

For even one therapist to recommend divorce is big, but 2 separate therapists recommending divorce is crazy 😳

[@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn]

I mean not really people say to end things even when the situation isn’t that serious and can be worked on. Divorce is very normalized today that it’s why people don’t think deeply about marriage.

[@rofrankie947]

​@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn As a therapist, that really is a huge deal. We dont press our personal beliefs on clients it's unethical. Dr. John's analysis of why they would have told her that was spot on. Otherwise, we keep our mouths shut and let the client lead on terms of goals and therapy objectives. Just sayin, 🤷🏾‍♀️ But I also agree that divorce is too normalized. In this case, he gave up, and you can't force someone to love you no matter what they promised you.

[@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn]

@@rofrankie947 question, as a therapist why do you think relationships especially marriages fail? For example you can say communication issues or trust issues etc. I just want to know your opinion as a therapist.

[@rofrankie947]

@AnthonyWilliams-bp5mn Well, to name a few; inflated ego, lack of effective communication skills, failure to remain committed to promises and responsibilities, faulty perceptions, and not being ready to make the relationship sacrifices (reciprocity) needed to succeed, etc.

[@KevinJohnson-pt8mg]

Therapist are horrible. They don’t fix people or they would go out of business. They program you to start more problems by becoming narcissistic and blaming other people for your choices

[@michaelallen1154]

He's trying to save face. He's playing passive-aggressive in getting her to divorce him.

[@SENSEF]

RIGHT!!! And then he'll join the chorus of men whining "Women file the majority of divorces! Us men are VICTIMS!" 🤨

[@michaelallen1154]

@@SENSEF this guy is the outlier. What you said in a sarcastic tone though, unfortunately, is absolutely the truth.

[@ViolinfanaticOriginal]

​@@michaelallen1154statistically, for millenia, he's not an outlier. Sadly

[@dahliaherrod4301]

​@@michaelallen1154there's really no way to know for sure either way if he is indeed an outlier so it's best if we don't even make the claim

[@TetrahedronIX]

Yeah he wants out but he doesn't want to look like the bad guy. He wants her to be the one to file for the divorce.

[@bolivia.j]

He’s just gaslighting her so that she divorces him first. He wants to be the victim. I’m so sorry for her this is terrible

[@michellesimmons3150]

thats why 85% of divorces are initiated by women. And most men point at this as a reason to blame women, yet men play this stupid mind game of acting out until the woman leaves because they dont want to lose the unpaid labor and 1/2 the marital assets... they see marital assets as "Theirs" failing to put ANY worth on a woman who did everything they claimed they wanted, stayed home, gave up career, had their children and raised them cooked, kept a home and supported his career, took care of him when sick and yet he sees no value in those things...because its not a PAID EMPLOYMENT.....

[@valnsky]

If he stopped having sex with her, he is getting it elsewhere. Even worse, he feels more faithful to that other woman and being with his lawful wife feels like cheating. I feel so bad for this woman, she sounds very decent.

[@ElimEx1]

Not necessarily but in this case, probably. Or it's just an emotional affair and he has no intention of changing that because he's getting what he needs. It's not all about sex, it's about feeling wanted and needed and happy. Sex is just one part and men can live without it too.

[@kellywade8275]

@@ElimEx1 Men can live without sex? ☝🏾Ok. 🙄But, they won't. 🤷🏾‍♀

[@adnanorochi3761]

​@@ElimEx1Nope, they can't.

[@ElimEx1]

@@adnanorochi3761 Really? Cause i'm pretty sure I do and so do millions of men who are married. Been 6-7 years for me. You learn to cope and become more productive in every other aspect of your life.

[@bushybear623]

@@ElimEx1Which is....sad

[@adhamsoliman-ue2kn]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@ChrisBenoit-ro6mw]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@ejmabrothers6743]

Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@BenjaminCanales-nn9gi]

I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years. With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms

[@ChrisBenoit-ro6mw]

Is he on instagram?

[@ejmabrothers6743]

Yes he is dr.porassss.

[@alech729]

My dad just did the same thing to my mom after 37 years of marriage. Forced my mom to move into a new place, so I went with her. I cut off my relationship with my dad. He moved the new lady in the day after my mom moved out. Leave this coward with your dignity and respect intact!

[@kwill215]

I know that sucks and I truly feel for you, and it sucks you feel you have to choose sides. Did you want your dad to just continue to suffer and waste his life away? Or did he set the example to you that's even when it's hard it's up to you to take control of your life and find your happiness

[@alech729]

@@kwill215 I’m getting engaged in 2 weeks and he hasn’t once reached out to meet my to be fiancee or even care about what’s going on in my life. So I respectfully will continue to live my life that way. He sent me a text the night before we moved (I am with my mom rn to save for a house/wedding) and called me names/slander. So it showed me the example of the man I looked up to growing up completely destroying himself and not caring. So I won’t do that for my wife and future children.

[@alech729]

@@kwill215 but I have an absolute rockstar of a mom who loves my fiancee and supports us working the baby steps to be debt free when we get married to start our future off right.

[@ciara7172]

@@kwill215This is such a twisted and presumptuous way to look at this situation. Marriage is a commitment. If you can't commit yourself to your spouse and need outside validation when your spouse is willing to deliver it, don't get married. In the situation given in the video, he can't even offer reason why he isn't satisfied. Happiness is 90% about perspective. If you aren't willing to foster a genuine connection to your spouse and are looking for the instant gratification of an affair instead, that is a character deficit.

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@kwill215that is a disgusting take on that heartbreaking story. Just "wow", man. Some people are so sick, it's unreal.

[@melissamulkey1033]

I feel so bad for this woman. 18 years and she thought him saying just hello 2 days a week was things going well while hes texting another woman to begin and end his day. You are worth so much more. Please find happiness ❤ You deserve it.

[@nly4607]

What is she doing to deserve it? If she is so fat her husband won't have sex with her....she is bigger than the average American soldier in wwii and some nfl wide receivers

[@FreePickCapper]

You don’t know his side, she sounds like a nightmare

[@ramansgdeep]

@@FreePickCapper then he should divorce her to save himself.

[@angelasaid5266]

@@FreePickCapperthen why can’t he agree to the divorce. he’s obviously content staying legally married to her, she takes care of the house while he goes out whenever and wherever he wants with whoever he wants with no repercussions.

[@heybra8941]

I don't know the other side of the story so I can't say. To me this sounds like the relationship became a chore not a passion.

[@rabidgator6473]

I do feel bad for the caller. She sounds like she still loves him, but he doesn’t love her at all.

[@Bunny11344]

She sounds naive

[@nly4607]

@@Bunny11344 she sounds fat and therefore lazy and worthless

[@nicolebjn]

She is settling for so little, it’s heartbreaking. John isn’t being hard on her, he is trying to make her see that her husband is not man and human enough to be upfront and do the right thing. He is being cruel indeed, he is gaslighting her and treating her like a child, telling her that nothing is going on with the other woman. He is not leaving her because it serves him, he is having his way and completely disregards the fact that his wife is drowning and torturing herself. He is a disgusting human being and she will be so much better off without him.

[@ArmorofValor]

🎯

[@Veracityseeker7]

Amen

[@menak8870]

I agree but I'm a hypocrite because I'm in the exact same situation 🫠😭

[@mashajohns7810]

So sad

[@kellywade8275]

@@menak8870 Please don't 't be hard on yourself because of your abuse and trauma. I, often think that the majority of relationships have some form and level of it. Also, the lockdown added a whole other onion to everything...Some people who left, should have stayed and some who stayed, should have left. Life is difficult to navigate, if you're not perfect. 🤷🏾‍♀I send you prayer, cheer, love and peace. 🙏🏾💐💞 PS. You are awesome for realizing, acknowledging and admitting publicly, that you are a hypocrite...There is blessing in doing so. Most of us stay stuck on realization. I, don't know you, but I love you, and I am rooting for you.

[@razmiddle9410]

When I hear that women file the large majority of divorces, I have to wonder how many are doing so because of a situation like this - the husband is happy as a clam having an affair with another woman, and the wife acting as maid at home. He's certainly not going to file as he's perfectly happy with the status quo - filing is on her, just another task that's been dumped on her, and when she does file it'll add to the statistic of women filing divorce.

[@stevezelaznik5872]

When you remove men from the equation divorce actually goes up. Lesbians have the highest rate of divorce, followed by straight couples, and gay men are least likely to divorce

[@CrystalM1917]

BINGO.

[@proudmoon3]

🎯

[@rlabarbera]

Exactly. "Cheaper to keep her". They have a built in maid and childcare.

[@k8schmate]

Exactly. Women get the blame for filing for divorce more but the reasons why are somehow never investigated.

[@erikaronska1096]

He. Doesn't. Care. Divorce. Him.

[@Astro95Media]

Get out, girl. He's having an affair. Cut your losses and move forward without him.

[@leekshikapinnamneni4835]

Husband is absolutely cheating. Even if it’s through text. The relationship that he is having on the side is not a friendship. This is definitely an affair.

[@westaussieeggs8867]

i just never got the meaning of man/woman friendship. It NEVER happens, I have been married 52 years and I never had a male friend, any males that I considered "friends" are my husband's friends NEVER mine. I have a few female friends and again they are primarily mine, not his.

[@kellywade8275]

Trust me, they're having sex. Men are not that evolved or that deep and I love them, think they're awesome and so glad that God created them. 'IF', they're not having sex, he needs to come out, maybe she does too or has the lowest self- esteem and is so desperate or she's trying to make her spouse chase her because she's in the wife's situation too, or getting revenge on her husband for cheating on her. ☝🏾🤷🏾‍♀💯

[@thehealthylife5715]

​​@@westaussieeggs8867so true. Even if you try to be normal friends with the opposite sex sooner or later at least one of you will catch feelings for the other and it's not longer a friendship or someone gets hurt

[@sabrinashelton1997]

@@westaussieeggs8867 I don't agree with you at all. I have had amazing male friends and it absolutely was platonic. I've been married for 20 years.

[@codester1111]

​@@westaussieeggs8867wrong I have married women friends at work, that's all it is period. They are amazing women.

[@TetrahedronIX]

This is the first call that was actually frustrating for me to listen too. 18 years and your asking for a "hello".

[@alexisjankowski3281]

After being in a dead bedroom situation, I don’t think I can ever be convinced it’s not a form of emotional abuse. Honesty is always the best option. Always.

[@spicykikyo]

Definitely not every time, my husband also had his problems when he was in a bad place emotionally and job wise. But he communicated it. Cutting all ties emotionally and physically is so much worse though! I hope you’re being treated better now!

[@JJBird1118]

I agree! Sex is used as a manipulation on both ends- to give and withhold. I was married to a man who did this frequently.

[@apaulotroughtzmantz2914]

I can’t imagine giving another woman something my wife said she needed from me. I also would be devastated if my wife considered me saying hi to be “putting in work”

[@mariagalarza2164]

"He's already left you." 😢

[@RikkiestAndTikkiest]

This is the same guy who crawls into comment sections later seething that "Women initiate divorce 70% of the time!" and "She divorced me out of nowhere!" and "She used me for my money!" Big yuck.

[@LuckiestStarByFar]

This is why I don't believe in men and their sob stories. They lie.

[@jenniferklopman2557]

Yep. There's a big responsibility problem with men these days. Not all, but they can be so selfish and emotionally abusive for real it's crazy.

[@twovirginiacats3753]

Yep. He is probably saying "What did I do"? LOL

[@garfieldGG]

So this had nothing to do with lack of sex, not really. It’s more about the fact this guy has already just left and has found his new woman already.

[@VV-er3zg]

Yeah one clicks this video expecting a mess but its a tornado after a tsunami

[@hanabi1862]

Precisely. The lack of sex is a more complex issue, often related to trauma/autism, but this is the story of an ended marriage

[@starlingswallow]

Casey, cut your losses and leave, sweetie. I was in this kind of marriage for 14 years. It won't change. He wants a maid and someone to take care of him without the obligation of you. You are a human being, you deserve love, affection, intimacy on every level, someone who delights in you and looks at you with stars in their eyes!! THIS is NOT IT. HE _IS_ UNSAFE!!!! Him neglecting you is silently KILLING you, safe my batootie. It's emotional MURDER. Stop kidding yourself!

[@JoanieDavenport-ot7fm]

It IS emotional AND physiological murder because the level of rejection and neglect she is experiencing is also increasing her cortisol levels, causing daily stress which affects a human being on a cellular level and causes reduction in her health, elevates risk factors for cancer and that can end her life so it IS murder!!!!! I lived this with this toxic person I have been legally married to for almost 10 years. Why am I telling you this? I was very healthy, but in 10 years with this emotionally withholding man, I am “legally married to, I have had lost my youngest daughter (we have no children together) because he was negligent in securing his gun. (Bullet in chamber, left on top of laundry to be folded on the bed, I had my thyroid removed due to cancer….. kept going forward but he would lecture me like a parent everyday (yelling and instructing and I am educated and he just went to high school) then I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer which is terminal…… and finally told him that I needed to fight a battle for my life and I am unwilling to have my children (all grown 40’s and 50’s) grieve another member of their family by losing me as well as their sister because of this one man, a retired cop who, now I realize that part of his personal “retirement” plan was grifting me to enhance his living situation at my house. Fortunately I owned my home, so I managed to get him to move out. He yelled and screamed like a child for a full 48 hours (LOUDLY) preceeding the day he moved out. This is a retired cop! I am now in remission because I at 70 finally learned to establish boundaries, consciously decided to take my heart back for myself, and although “terminal”, my self confidence is back to being me and not what a man thinks I should be or do. My Creator God loves me with an undying love and my confidence is found in God alone! The marriage? That’s difficult at now 74, but I’m working on that one next. I live with purpose without him…….I see a man with no purpose who lives a life of coverup and avoidance and never smiles unless he gets attention. It is very toxic. Don’t let this cause you to be silently “murdered” every day because it results in loss of your own life.

[@jacquelinerowlett7852]

I am feeling the same thing..I am getting rejected so many times as well and I am just done.

[@decemberdarling6058]

Let it go lady. He's just not into you. Divorce him and move on with your life.

[@ptulip]

She did not mention kids. If there are not kids, there is no reason to stay with him.

[@ebudae]

It's a hard road. Easy to say but difficult to actually do.

[@TMPS93]

He is cheating, I don't have a single doubt about that. My ex went through the exact same shift in behaviors. She would come home from work late and then go right to bed. Wouldn't cuddle. Wouldn't talk to me. Got to a point I felt like a roomate. Turned out she was going on secret dates with a male coworker and hooked up with him in our house when I wasn't home. My bet is both therapists see it clear as day and are hoping she figures it out through their talks vs confronting her with the truth head on.

[@devadii24]

The therapists should have just laid it out, they are not helping by ‘being polite’

[@standground7956]

Not always the case. I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else. He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and * some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*

[@aubreystrong2780]

@@standground7956 Why go through all that work? Just divorce her or have Christ enter his heart and forgive her and move on. I don’t focus on my husbands mind games, indiscretions, lies or cheating (no proof, only him hinting at it and acting weird). I focus on what I am grateful for and what I love about him. He has been acting like a roommate since we got married. Going on two years. He wore a mask dating and engagement and slowly pulled it off after marriage here and there. Spiritual warfare is real. People need to make moves and not be cowards forcing others to act. Shaking head*

[@devadii24]

@@standground7956 He’s a simp… why did he stay 13 years with her? He should dump her…

[@standground7956]

@@devadii24 Simp? I don’t think you understand the timeline. He dated his wife for three years, they got engaged and then married. So they’re happily married for 13years. If you saw them they still looked like they were dating, having fun, flirting and pretty cool couple to be around. The jealous ex recently sent him the video (3 months ago), so he was unaware she cheated on him. He forgives her but he says if he can dislike him, fall out of love with him, grow to hate his guts, then dump him then he’ll know for sure that she settled and never truly wanted him. Does that make sense?

[@lakishalynnette8178]

Leave him and glow up! You deserve to be happy.

[@kgoaomametja117]

What’s worse is that her husband is actually capable of being decent just not for her. 😢 I pray she heals.

[@ScottishTerrorsInLA]

He’ll do the same thing to the next one. And the next one.

[@kerrymillar1267]

@@ScottishTerrorsInLAmost likely yes

[@stillwanttowander6819]

If you are not happy in your marriage, have the courage and decency to end it instead of cheating on your spouse.

[@howmoon67]

Totally agree.

[@nly4607]

​@@howmoon67if women didn't clay for every penny and try to destroy the man in a divorce more men would lol

[@juliannoble6]

Men need side chicks

[@MiaMizuno]

​@@nly4607 aha. So he has no balls to stay a truthful husband and your Argument for not divorcing is the money? You know that in that case her worries about money are the least, also he is actually owing her emotional injury compensation, if he is lying and gaslighting her.

[@nly4607]

@MiaMizuno "emotional injury compensation" I would agree with this argument for children but adults don't owe other adults because they hurt their feelings....lol that is a child's idea. If you are arguing that women should have the legal status of children that is another matter entirely

[@NatTeeVee]

He is carrying on a full fledged relationship in front of her face and she refuses to recognize it or be honest with herself about it. My question would be is this her first adult relationship and has she every asked him why he is no longer attracted to her? She needs to walk away. He is emotionally attached to his co-worker. Its over.

[@wolvezy]

Maybe she's let herself go ? Lots of women stop trying to look nice once they've found a partner they let themselves go

[@NatTeeVee]

@@wolvezy quite possible. She really didn't share what she may have done to contribute to what's happening in her marriage. I have a sneaking suspicion that when her dad was going through his medical emergency she withdrew from the marriage due to the stress of it all (which is totally normal) and her husband did not try to remain in the sanctity of the relationship and sought comfort elsewhere.

[@iamapotatoe-ik1co]

It does sound like she just doesn't have enough relationship experience to tell the difference between your partner losing attraction to you versus simply not liking you as a person in a fundamental sort of way.

[@thornyrose1235]

Yep! John was on point when he said it's not 'hope' it's a 'wish'. She needs to live in reality, not wishes because the wishing will only bring her more misery.

[@orielwiggins2225]

​@@wolvezymaybe but not likely if she's doing well she can to try to make it better, and asked him what she could possibly do. Regardless it's on him that he's moved outside the marriage for all these things thwn claiming he's still in it and she's the one who has to end it if she wants to. She should end it, but he's already been on infidelity for a long time in so many ways.

[@ItsMeYourfavorite7]

Mistreat their wives then blame them saying women break homes and women initiate divorce.

[@juliannoble6]

There are two sides to every story. This is her version

[@Ella-Bella2024]

Exactly. Then all of a sudden, they're the victim. Major gaslighting.

[@ItsMeYourfavorite7]

@@juliannoble6 lol if the therapist is telling her to “get outta there” you know he is a horrible husband

[@jasonm7684]

LEsbian relationships have the highest level of divorce out of any type of relationship, 200% higher 2x as high as divorce rates in hetero relationships. TBH, women need to do better. You've gotten far too entitled for your own good.

[@ItsMeYourfavorite7]

@@jasonm7684 ofcoz they will have high divorce rates because they’re not meant to happen in the first place lol

[@Shay-yg7nm]

The therapist was right. He's checked out and cheating on you. Get your head out of the sand. He's done with you.

[@survivormary1126]

No he isn't. He's squeezing out the last drop of blood.

[@janesmith6292]

His girl “friend” is his love interest. Case closed. Get divorced. Find someone who cherishes YOU.

[@imlistening3218]

Run. He literally said if she left he wouldn't fight for her. He's having an emotional affair. His behavior won't stop. I completely understand her, and I hate that I do.

[@kimberlymerrick3475]

Jeesh I’m so heartbroken for her.. You need to love yourself enough to know you deserve more than this. I hope she finds the strength to do what he’s not manly enough to do, leave.

[@user-yy9mt6kl3h]

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all different. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've realized that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were on the verge of divorce because we had problems in our marriage, but we found a way to fix things. It was difficult, but we managed to overcome it

[@user-sk7kd8vs2w]

I get why what you're saying is important, and I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.

[@user-yy9mt6kl3h]

Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@user-sk7kd8vs2w]

Your advice is valued. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that pursuing this method will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; I deeply yearn for her.

[@user-yy9mt6kl3h]

you will not regret it

[@dr_pinna543]

Spam

[@hansmoleman9720]

Sounds like he doesn't want the guilt of breaking the promise. Even though he's already checked out.

[@starlingswallow]

Yup. He's a coward and wants HER to end the marriage so he can play the victim.

[@Texan_Gal]

🚨 AFFAIR 🚨

[@ozzycortes]

If he’s not sleeping with the wife, he’s sleeping with someone else. It’s great to hear that she wants intimacy from her husband. But he doesn’t want anything from her.

[@terrilreece8045]

Exactly. He has totally checked out of this relationship. I hope she realizes that and gets out.

[@ElimEx1]

That's not necessarily true but in this case, it propable is.

[@ozzycortes]

@@ElimEx1 How is it not necessarily true ?

[@standground7956]

Not always the case. I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else. He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and * some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*

[@orielwiggins2225]

Except for her to do all that she continues to do and take the blame for falling marriage. He wants that from her and she's still giving it. Been there, it's horrific. My hope is she leaves and heals and regains self worth and confidence and gets what she deserves, someone who cherishes her.

[@MrHCify]

Even her first question out of the gate, showed the depth of the denial she is living in

[@Prismalpink]

He’s in love with his coworker but he’s cowardly and is afraid of hurting your feelings. You gotta ask him for a divorce.

[@michellec3349]

A married man being this friendly with another woman is not normal. She needs to leave this guy asap he’s a poor excuse for a husband.

[@AquaGirl953]

She isn't ready to let go and it's so sad! I hope she finds the courage to leave and work on building back her self-esteem.

[@LisaLisa-in4vw]

This is heart breaking. So many red flags! Time to pack your bags and leave lady. For your own sanity and peace of mind. Better to be on your own and be happy. HE HAS CHECKED OUT!!!

[@Dr_Nutrition]

Once your husband is at this point it’s over 😢

[@wangcheng5188]

Excellent video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@SamuelLee-kc3rh]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my marriage of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

[@wangcheng5188]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@SamuelLee-kc3rh]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@wangcheng5188]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@rangv733]

Scam alert ! These are bots lol

[@colleen7549]

Seems like this guy wants his cake and eat it too. He want's the financial security of his marriage and the outcome of the new person = cake.

[@proudmoon3]

My exact thoughts--he wants to have his cake and eat it too! My guess is that Casey probably makes good money, pays bills and does the housework. If her husband's getting his physical desires met on the side, and Casey is putting up with this treatment, of course he's not going to just kick her to the curb when he can have it all.

[@SENSEF]

​@@proudmoon3 Right! This is why women file the majority of divorces, sooo many guys don't want divorced, they want their cake and eat it, too, they think they can have it all and see no point in divorce. Whereas women have morals and actually file... once they hit their breaking point.

[@thornyrose1235]

Yep! Plus this co-worker is married too so even if he's single, doesn't mean his affair partner will leave her marriage. He has no incentive whatsoever to leave his marriage because he's having his cake with this situation

[@nly4607]

@thornyrose1235 the wife also has no reason to leave being old, fat, and undesired

[@kimsmart8839]

The husband is a spineless coward.

[@cg741graf5]

Absolutely

[@Cumeni-Ha]

No, he's been emasculated.

[@orielwiggins2225]

AND a psychologically abusive jerk.

[@Lala89856]

He sounds like my ex. When I talked to him about how I felt he said, "move out then." And I when I told him I was moving out he just smiled...then he told me it was my decision and he told his mother and sister than I left him for another man when it was him cheating on me and neglecting me. He acted like I didn't exist so he didn't even say hi.

[@orielwiggins2225]

@@Lala89856 I'm so sorry. That's awful and similar to mine, but he did talk to me, acted like everything was fine and expected me to as well. Not after years of infidelity and lack of any real investment in relationship. They want their cake and eat it too.

[@WalkaboutBridge]

Dear girl. Love yourself. That’s the only change you need to make. Fall in love with your absolutely authentic and unchanged self 💯

[@MoTee1]

He doesn't wanna fix it at all. He just wants to use the "I'm married" blanket when the husband of the other woman is asking questions. He has chosen to just be roommates with his wife. He is in love with the woman he always wants to talk to. And that is something that is hard to accept but you need to and stop overly understanding and dreaming. You are asking for the bear minimum and he is telling you he has reserved that for the other woman because it is something he can only do out of love. He is gone and the therapists saw that he wasn't willing to change anything. Take the time to prepare for an exit, mentally, emotionally and financially be prepared for a change.

[@thornyrose1235]

He's in limerence with this other woman. It's not love. He will get what's coming to him eventually because limerence usually ends in a ball of fire. I hope the caller leaves him ASAP because limerence feeds on obstacles and she's the one in the way that's making them feel like Romeo and Juliet. Once she leaves, they'll eventually have to deal with reality and it's not going to be this great romantic relationship they think it is.

[@standground7956]

I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else. He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and *some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*

[@Resilientmeee]

I feel for her, I was in a relationship like this, in that he quit. He fell out of love with me after almost 10 years, just stopped trying, and actively avoided intimacy. It went on for at least a year, maybe more, with me getting progressively more frantic. I was holding on to him tighter and tighter, while he grew more and more distant from me. I was desperate to not see it. I loved him so much, and I didn't want to admit to myself that it was over. Finally, he got to the point that he asked me to leave. I was utterly devastated. Still cry if I think about him too much, still heartbroken over it 2 years later. He was the love of my life, but being alone is FAR better than that hellacious limbo of not knowing, of not wanting to see. Of being the only one of a pair, trying to work on a relationship that the other half had already washed their hands of. I wish her the very best, and I hope she can find the courage to stop waiting for him to man up and be open and honest with her about where he stands in the relationship. She's going to have to be the one to walk away.

[@darrylg3861]

Of course he doesn't want a divorce. You clean his house, wash his clothes cook his meals. I wouldn't want you to leave either

[@suziesmith9076]

It’s men like this who make make women’s lives miserable then blame women for the divorce

[@SENSEF]

YEP! Drove her to it then will cry "victim" and "blindsided" by it. 🤨

[@brightpage1020]

Yes and they are ok with that.

[@mniks8860]

Do you know how she treated him for the last 5, 10 or 20 years?

[@suziesmith9076]

@@mniks8860 no idea, but what I do know is he needs to leave or do better.

[@estarr86]

If she filed for divorce than yes the blame is on her, it's called personal responsibility. Women have no accountability and all the excuses.

[@SPFAlpha]

Why are so many commenters so rude toward the woman? This is a crappy situation, and she is struggling to accept it, but being rude to her reflects very poorly on the people who are being rude.

[@roymercer22]

Haven't seen any rude comments towards her. "Husband" is C word.

[@VAL702]

I agree - this isn’t easy for anyone involved - easier said than done

[@sunnyday4055]

Who’s being rude? Telling her she needs to move on isn’t being rude.

[@CWall-tv7gm]

This happened to my father in law and mother in law. He couldn’t understand why she wanted a divorce-he provided a roof over her head and all of the necessities. I felt so bad for her, but she is happily remarried and is having a wonderful life!

[@starlakennard6715]

He is not committed to a divorce because the other lady he is with is not leaving her man for him as of yet. Divorces are expensive and messy and he's not trying to go through all that if he doesn't have roll. He's using you!

[@aliciaspears7847]

This ! Right here. Bingo!

[@MissWampire]

Exactly. Bingo!

[@reliefwithoils]

The husband reminder that they agrees in the beginning of their marriage to never get a divorce but he forgets that he vowed to love her, honor her and protect her yet he has left her in the most painful way.

[@estarr86]

Sad

[@californiadreamer2580]

There are still six states that still allow someone to sue another for alienation of affection. Hope you live in one of those states. Sounds like lawsuit time!

[@pcharm3711]

😮

[@thornyrose1235]

The caller was from Seattle. I googled Washington state divorce laws and unfortunately she can't sue for that and infidelity has no bearing on divorce settlements unless it impacts the children.

[@tiegz9770]

You are wasting your physical and emotional energy on a man who is no longer invested in the marriage. He wont even greet you. Please don’t waste your time on him anymore.

[@laneparker319]

Having sex or not, he's cheating.

[@sciencecompliance235]

She said he's coming home a lot later from work. I'd bet good money he's having more than an emotional affair.

[@denesecardwell8532]

If somebody wants to leave let them go. You will be better off in the long run. Why do you want to be with somebody who clearly does not want to be with you anymore

[@PriestessHephzibah]

Why is she hanging on.... Why does she think so little of herself, she deserves better. The hubby has long checked out....

[@MsTerrieLynn]

I'm so sorry. I know the ending....this was my ex husband's playbook. He married 11 months after our divorce.

[@bernadettehuff2984]

Mine waited a whole 2 months, same thing, same playbook.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

I'm so sorry, both 🙏🏿❤️

[@mfrance3834]

So sad to hear this but some people just can’t let go because of the fear of being alone

[@jabc4748]

I think a lot of couples think not EVER ‘fighting’ is a good thing. In actuality, having verbal disagreements (not abuse, btw) is healthy. but bottling it up for the sake of not ‘fighting’ is very unhealthy. Couples need to have that deep connection. This is a sign of a relationship that’s not working at the basic level. Of couples therapy is not working, you have to make that choice. And often, it’s separation

[@JukiCombo]

Not condoning his actions, but my guess he's not emotionally comfortable with his wife. It might be to a point were he derives the most peace by interacting with her as little as possible. "Just say hello." "Say hello and potentially give her the green light to use me as an emotional tampon for the next lord knows how long? No thanks." "My office friend is much better. No pressure, no emotional tention, and I don't have to listen to her problems day in day out and console her." "I've derived a system where I can survive this very less than ideal marriage. Wait, that makes her unhappy? What else is new? She's always unhappy." "When I care, she's unhappy. When I don't care, she's just as unhappy." Again, shitty thing he's doing, but if my guess to his motives are correct. I can sympathise with him, but not Condone his action. It sucks all around.

[@BrandiLaShay]

Ummmm, what an eye opener. I've never related to one of these episodes so much. 😢 Thought I was the only one having full-blown arguments to get someone to say hello to me.

[@abizar3660]

I don't fault her therapist, she said they have told her to leave her husband. I'm pretty sure they advised why. This lady is just in full denial and is seeking someone to tell her otherwise. That's why she said "several therapist". That already tells you, that she is not ready to face reality. She's going to speak with someone else after this call, bc she does not believe anyone but her cheating husband.

[@archivist_of_dragonstone]

I hear so much of myself in this call. My ex also gave up on me after eight years of marriage. I fought for our relationship, but in the end he told me he was done. I found out after the divorce was finalized that he had been cheating on me, with several different women. Caller, please accept that it's over. Your partner does not want you, he has chosen someone else. Give yourself the love that he's been withholding, and stop enabling the bad behavior. It's time to go. And you're going to be so much happier, and have so much more PEACE, on the other side. You can't even imagine how beautiful it's going to be.

[@tricia71566]

Thank you for being honest with this woman. Sometimes we just need someone to validate what we already know.

[@BeautifulBeastie]

He's cheating ....its obvious

[@dancleary4101]

You have zero proof there’s two sides to every story just because a woman’s crying and complaining makes no sense

[@BeautifulBeastie]

​@@dancleary4101😂😂😂...my statement is in no way based on her tears...its based on the fact he doesn't want her sexually, what the therapists said about thier marriage, the fact that he is checked out and doesn't love her, and now he has a "friend". Come on he is texting another woman goodnight but won't say Hi to his wife....he's cheating and he is being cruel. PERIOD

[@dancleary4101]

@@BeautifulBeastie you have zero proof that he’s actually cheating you stated a whole bunch of nothing and this is what women do in these situations I guarantee you she probably gained weight walked around the house of pajamas, put little effort into her appearance and then got mad when her husband didn’t want to touch her that’s actually most of these cases but you women only listen to the lady side typical

[@dancleary4101]

@@BeautifulBeastie keep that same energy when a woman does the same thing we know you won’t

[@BeautifulBeastie]

@@dancleary4101 you are projectingggg something terrible....lol Who hurt you? 😢 And why would I have "proof"? I am an internet stanger just expressing my opinion based on years of experience and my own deduction based on the behavior described.

[@BassBwoy3]

Women, this is often what happens when a man marries someone he likes/tolerates, but isn't sexually attracted to or doesn't respect. Some women are nice as caregivers, but have a relationship dynamic/energy more akin to a sister or mother. One of my previous relationships was going down this path and I had to break it off. I realized that if I married a girl I emotionally appreciated, but wasn't deeply sexually attracted to, I would eventually lose interest in her and my eyes could start to wander years down the road. This sounds twisted, but there's gotta be a fair bit in a relationship to keep both people interested, even after the honeymoon phase.

[@wmluna381]

You did the right thing not wasting your time and hers. Good on you for having the integrity to make the hard/right choices. Bravo!

[@aubreystrong2780]

It sucks being the wife of someone who did this.

[@KevinNordstrom]

You can't stay married to someone you're no longer attracted too

[@sunnyday4055]

I’m confused as to what men want. If she’s too caring to supportive too housewifey she turns into his mother And he no longer feels attracted If she’s too into her own interests and opinionated She’s too intimidating.. What exactly can a Women do to keep the “ fire” of marriage if you want alive.

[@elizabethmoore3714]

I'm so sorry but time for a divorce

[@Kinksgalore]

She's NOT leaving.

[@temposhop8739]

​@@Kinksgaloresomething about her voice and speech tells me that, too. She sounds defeated and dissociated like my friend who vented to me for years about her cheating man, only to convince him to marry her once he got diagnosed with a liver disease from drinking. I detached from her and she began gaslighting me into thinking I had become cold and calculating. Now she's talking children with him. It's some sort of weird resistance that drives people like this. Women who take manipulation or abu$e will perpetuate it on others, including their family, friends, and children. They're vampires.

[@user-rk7md3yj6v]

Whatever Elizabeth

[@elizabethmoore3714]

​@@user-rk7md3yj6vwhat did I do to you it's not my marriage,

[@taylamayde]

Elizabeth has definitely been divorced

[@kristinvelladao1145]

It’s over. He has 100% checked out. You deserve so much more than this.

[@svetlanakostina8021]

If he doesn't sleep with you, whom he sleeps with? He sleeps around.

[@alluringbliss4165]

He’s definitely cheating with the other woman.

[@thomassullivan1207]

This is generally true but it isn't always the case. Some men just don't want to have sex because of hormonal issues, emotional issues, trauma, shame, performance insecurity, etc. It's entirely possible that a man who doesn't sleep with his wife, isn't sleeping with anyone because he has no interest in it, or sex makes him feel bad in one or many ways. It happens all the time.

[@standground7956]

Not always the case. I have a coworker who treats his wife like this. He texts back and forth with himself and his wife thinks it’s a female friend (it’s the google voice # and fake email). She even wastes money hiring a PI to follow him, but he pretends to be unaware. He doesn’t cheat, he jokingly admits that he uses a lot of lotion to take care of himself. He still respect her, does speak ill of her, he no longer wants to be intimate with her. He doesn’t sleep with her on purpose because he wants her to cheat on him, fall out of love him and leave him for someone else. He found out via video evidence that she slept with her ex 6 days before they got married. They’ve been married 13 years and he doesn’t look at her the same. He has not touched her since he watched the video. He says she’s even wearing the engagement ring and he watched her ex take of a dress her brought her 2 weeks before they married and they didn’t use protection. He says he will never confront her about it since she already knows it happened and she didn’t tell him so he prefers she continues to believe he doesn’t know. He forgives her and he’ll never throw it in her face, he just prefers her to dislike and fall out of love with him moving forward. Things aren’t always what they seem and *some people move in weird ways and do things differently.*

[@nr7701]

"I won't fight for you" He's not fighting for her now! Please talk to him and leave him if he doesn't do a 180, I'm talking romance novel protagonist level of putting in the effort.

[@RadCenter]

It's even sadder that this "other woman" will never divorce her husband to be with the caller's husband. He's living in a fool's paradise.

[@user-mf4gz3sp1q]

...exactly... -Him "my wife divorced me so now you can leave your husband and we can be together" -Her "are you insane?"

[@user-yc3yo3rd5t]

In a similar situation, told my husband, I don't need you, but I still want you. I don't want a room mate, I want a husband. If you still want to give it a try, ok, if not, we get a divorce, no drama. We were 30 years married then. It was painful and difficult, we've been married 37 years now.

[@geminisunleomoon]

He doesn't want a divorce because she gives him a nice comfy home life...period

[@JukiCombo]

Plus if they divorce he'll get shared custody of the kids if he's lucky. He won't receive child support, he'll pay it. 10% chance he'll also pay for alimony. Depending on the state he might lose half his assets to her and might have to fund her legal fees plus his own.

[@alladreamwedreamed]

He is too chicken to just come out and say "i dont love you anymore and i want to split up," so he is trying to just freeze her out, and since she isn’t giving up, he's flagrantly having an affair now, until she will give up and ask to split up. Kick him out Casey!

[@SENSEF]

And then he'll join the chorus of men whining, "But women file the majority of divorces! We're VICTIMS!" 🤨

[@alladreamwedreamed]

@SENSEF it can go both ways but I agree that the goal of this tactic is to look like a victim

[@MrJ183]

​@@SENSEFi bet you she is way overweight and he will lose money with a divorce

[@priusa8113]

Alhamdulilah for Islam. The more I hear such stories the more I am grateful for the regulations that my Creator has put in place in order for us to be at peace with ourselves and the world. You only appreciate guidance after having gone astray and led a miserable life. Alhamdulilha praise and thanks be to God Almighty ❤

[@dakotasikes6690]

If two two different plumbing companies tell me I need to redo my pipes, I'm redoing the pipes, get the divorce and move on

[@MGMT310001]

My heart breaks for her - I could have been her 7 years ago. I'm on the other side of unwinding 30 years with my college sweetheart. Took a good 4 years of recovering but I am SO SO SO happy on the other side. You got this sister!

[@LunaMorkovich]

Why is she even calling in? No other option but to divorce. If your partner isn't attracted to you no point in continuing just leave.

[@robert1757]

I feel bad for how delusion she has become because of this. Like John said, she is trying to get her "husband" to work on basic human behavior and is blind to the reality. She sounds fairly immature when it comes to relationships

[@LunaMorkovich]

@robert1757 Yes definitely. If I had to guess she will stay with her so called husband and be miserable. I could be wrong but I have a feeling. She doesn't seem determined.

[@temposhop8739]

To me she sounds like the energy vampire type who will talk her friend's ears off until they back off of her, and then she won't understand why because she "loves" him. She'll turn herself inside out to make him stay, compromise her own value over and over, and bring any kids they have into the dysfunction. Maybe I'm wrong, but her speech reminds me of people I know.

[@LunaMorkovich]

@temposhop8739 Yea it's very sad to listen to her ramble and not really take in what dr John is saying. Some people that call in I can tell are motivated and ready to leave but her I don't see that happening even tho their is every red flag in the book. Her friends and family have probably repeatedly tried to get her out and she won't listen cause she is so "in love".

[@temposhop8739]

​@@LunaMorkovichI saw my friends who ended up like this start to act like addicts. They began taking on the same behaviors as their man toward others, and wanted me to be with questionable men. I'm exhausted and treat the like addicts now. They need boundaries and to hit rock bottom.

[@ErinWilke]

That was horrifying. How any profession could skirt around and not tell this poor lady the truth is disgusting

[@user-mf4gz3sp1q]

...what...?...2 therapists told her to divorce...

[@elanafelberg1733]

I'm sorry I can't she sees a message that her husband "cherishes her" and her husband tells her that they are "just friends"!! bhahahahhahahahahahahahha I'm sorry this woman is refusing to face reality.

[@Drumbeat52]

He's got a Mommy and a lover. Relationships are screwed.

[@SwimSweetie100]

Sounds like he’s having an affair and instead of telling his wife it’s over, he’s torturing her by giving her that sliver of hope. You can’t make someone put in the effort unfortunately. She deserves more

[@mmmmlllljohn]

She is terrified to be on her own. She could be living her own happy life with friends who want to be around her. Why would she choose that hell?

[@Elisabeta.Marina]

A proud wife

[@kimbarnetson3297]

I agree he is having an affair but even before that imagine a relationship where you don't even say good morning or I love you or have any interaction at all. Why would you want to be with that person?

[@ginawest5079]

She needs to get a private detective to find the proof he is cheating. Then confront him with the truth. He is staying to avoid financial loss, not because he vowed “until death do us part.” He is a total coward!

[@laneparker319]

I'm really praying for you!! You deserve better.

[@julesb16272]

The old, "You should be friends with her" routine

[@Zuzuthekitty]

Casey, if you are reading this, life will be so sweet when you leave him. Hard steps at first, then there will be that moment when you are filled with joy that you don't have to live like that anymore-been there much better now. I wish I could hug ya, man. Be strong.

[@Kwk16534]

You are truly a kind person

[@Catseye189]

She knew, she needed someone to confirm it.

[@Raina430]

John is so endlessly kind and empathetic. Very helpful too. 😊

[@blas8866]

My friend is like this caller. Tells me her husband always said she isn’t his type and he’s not attracted to her. He never initiated or wants to have sex with her. She always has to beg for it. I just listen but it’s sad she doesn’t see it for what it really is. Oh, and six weeks after giving birth to their firstborn, he finds his ex gf on FB and messages her for “coffee.” She won’t get a divorce. I say she chooses to live in her own reality that is a bubble of delulu. Which to be fair, most marriages are one big delulu.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤

[@SP-up2xb]

Hire a private investigator and prove he's having an affair, then divorce him and take it all.

[@brette]

I hear love in your voice. Share that with someone else.