How to Find Peace When Life’s Messy

On today’s show, we hear about:
- A woman navigating a complicated relationship between her parents and husband
- Why tarot card use is on the rise
- A man still struggling with shame over who he used to be
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The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
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[@AnOriginalYouTuber]

Respect for her husband. He confronted mom like an adult and didn't stoop to her level. Based as heck.

[@elainebmack]

@ 7 minutes into this show, these are my insights on this as a Black American. Kudos to this woman for defending her spouse and son, but she made the mistake made by a lot of well-meaning white people, that "race doesn't matter". It does. It's a type of myopia that whites, most of whom have never had the experience of being a minority, carry around with them. Her stance of " My husband is a great guy who works out, loves me and our son, and is respectful to my parents, so what's the problem..." means nothing when that husband is Black. Her parents can't get past that. Did she really expect this be a walk in the park? This is the reality. Her parents do not want this African man in their lives and want nothing to do with her half-black child. They are upset with their daughter for upsetting their ideal-white-family-white-picket-fence concept of what great American life should be. People are generally uncomfortable talking about race except in nice, happy platitudes about all of us being human and all that. It's all very nice and good, until your son/daughter marries one of "them", namely any person with darker skin, mostly of African descent. When children come to the marriage, grandparents are faced with the reality that their grandchildren are now Black by Western standards. It changes everything. Her white parents will be seen very differently by all their friends, neighbors, and others; something that further upsets their tidy applecart. To pretend otherwise is naive and unrealistic. Most whites do not understand this, and might never understand it.

[@florenciagonzalez2288]

We do not understand because we are reasonable humans with common sense.. not naive. Its probably not even about race.. my white mom had these reactions to my white ex. Its like Deloney says.. they are being childish.. race can be the excuse but the real issue is she has emotionally inmature parents. And for sure they had this attitude before with other issues, she might have missed them.

[@yogamuslimah]

I deal with a similar situation. My husband's family has always been very exclusive. My husband and I have been together for 13 years since his son was 10 yrs old. His son has always been jealous of our relationship. Which I understood when he was a child but he's now 22 and about to have a child of his own and still hates me. I know that his dad/my husband fueled this behavior by not establishing boundaries and/or by not reassuring his child our relationship is not a competition. I was never allowed to be a parental figure to him, my husband has always been very defensive and protective. This is such a hard situation to be in. I have recently after enduring this for 13 years, have decided to step back and divest my time and energy. I have 3 children and I had always hoped to be able to blend our families but at this point in life I want to be happy.

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

Kudos to her for standing up for her husband and setting the tone for how their home will be a healthy place free of drama. Who in the world expects a person in the middle of a workout to stop and come greet them. I love that she confronted her Mom and told her to talk to her husband about the issue instead of being the middle person in the drama. Keep loving life girl. Sorry your parents can't be happy for you.

[@britneyog9537]

Kudos to her husband. He did the right thing. The mother needs to grow the heck up.

[@grateful7420]

Intro 😂 “I hope you don’t start driving 95 mph down the freeway because I started yelling”. ❤Classic Delony

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

I laughed outloud when he said that.

[@Red-rose-garden]

My son and DIL lived with me for 1&1/2 years,long enough to have their 2nd baby! Can you imagine the drama! And we’re still close! Their coming over right now! Parents can certainly stop being so emotional and control their mouths ! It’s humanly possible! With God all things are possible actually!

[@ihateallyall]

why do people have to be so rude/difficult to where it creates drama? it’s silly. life is so short. people need to lighten the hell up

[@lizardking3743]

I love your high energy at the beginning of the show. It's refreshing to hear someone that's not afraid to be unironically enthusiastic.

[@tinam761]

I like the energy too! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@SarahStar00]

I love your loud energy Dr John!! Don’t ever change!!

[@allil87]

I think one of the best parts when you chat with these people

[@darralansman9895]

16:41 "When not to be first to say I'm sorry...when you're confronted with abusive, irrational, childish, narcissistic behaviors. "It will be used against you. It will invite a bigger wave of nonsensical behaviors." WOW, I've experienced that but never equated it with my willingness to make the first move to reconcile. It definitely made them put a spear in the ground , " Do it my way or no way, if you want a relationship." I understand if boundaries need to be set, it might have to be that way, but to not be willing to have a face to face conversation in an attempt to find common ground... disrespectful and destructive.😢

[@TerriBennett-nf4vb]

thank you for your service

[@ronaldnichols9945]

My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me. After my marriage and children, years passed between the times I allowed her to see me, my wife or children. There was always some drama caused by her every time. A child is Not obligated to be around an abusive parent. Tarot cards are religious in nature. No thanks.

[@Oriona-rbi]

Excellent talk about tarot cards 🎯 bang on . Gets people thinking Without the default thoughts getting into the way 💯

[@addiskassa5165]

You go girl Simon, You are such a great woman who respect and honor your husband such sweet way! I am African and i know how African people are very respecteful and polite people, i do not know why your parent give your husband such a bad reputation. because that's the culture most of African countries. Yeah! Your parents learn to have boundaries otherwise that's their choice! May Almighty God blessed your family!!!🙏🙏🙏

[@helenmcinerney1058]

About the yoga...I'm in Ireland and we've had priests denounce it from the pulpit, it's too much competition - as they see it - they were the same about other faiths too 😅

[@567Kriss]

.."Guess you can say I'm fit.... Or I'm JACKED!" HELL YEAH BROTHER!!

[@bdeezy2962]

No disrespect to your wife ,at all but Dr. John you are one handsome man! I love this show!! ❤ it is very therapeutic, hopefully I get the guts to write/call one of these days ..God bless

[@1463FJ]

Glen sounds like an awesome human. I appreciate his vulnerability because us girls feels the same too. I could totally relate and this call helped so thank you John and Glen!

[@carlabotha3012]

WOW, regardless of color regardless of race! Mother in-law walked into his home “unexpectedly” she should have had the decency to go up to him and greet him! Shame on her for causing such heartache in this family for so long. I pop in unannounced at my daughter & son in-law at any time and anyone of them are busy when I walk in I choose to have to decency to go and greet them first, I dint expect them to stop what they are doing to run & greet me first!

[@babsy820]

Thank you Dr. John for all you do. I appreciate more then you know every piece of advice that you give. Your helping to change one life at a time. All your advice has really changed mine.

[@gigilafleur1686]

OMG girl I TOTALLY have lived through 967 of these situations. It will be ok. I promise.

[@robyharris7027]

Great lady life is too short.

[@Sadielady21]

It's been nearly twenty years since my husband spoke with his family and now his parents are diceased. Don't let it go on.

[@kendradamm1428]

My thoughts exactly. Go to them, both of you, sit down and have a discussion, like adults. Don’t let it go on. Tomorrow is not a given.

[@ronaldnichols9945]

Sometimes it is absolutely necessary to break contact because of the parents emotional and physical abuse, drug addiction and mental illness.

[@grateful7420]

@@ronaldnichols9945 Agree but this is not the case.

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

​@@grateful7420 It is emotional abuse, because you won't come to your grandson's birthday party because his Dad wouldn't stop in the middle of a workout to come greet your wife who made a unannounced visit. Then the Mother telling people she's a bad daughter. No, cut the drama and live your life!

[@ronaldnichols9945]

@@grateful7420 The mother in law does sound abusive and manipulative.

[@Thesussysuscat]

The saddest thing for me is the grandchild

[@Iamhellokitty77]

The Dawson’s Creek references are killing me LMAO 🤣💯💯👏👏👏

[@Alvdz]

I wish I found this gold 12 months ago, in any case grateful that I found it now. Big thanks🙌

[@amandamerrill2415]

I know John probably won’t ever see this but as a tarot reader he’s more of a queen of swords than wands just cause he’s an idea man and he’s always saying I’m gonna give it to you straight, that could be the Queen of swords theme song lol

[@cherylshort5005]

Tarot cards originally were not not fortune telling but to spread the early storv of Christianity when it was still hidden so yes they were passed off as a new game, when in truth it was spreading the story of Christianity. As a tool for mesitation/affirmations & self reflection or even symbology. I've read tarot cards close to 40 years.

[@judymorris9304]

I'm glad Dr Deloney expressed his own views on Tarot cards. Not everyone is a fundamental Christian. His podcast reaches broad range of faiths and belief systems. We all have freewill and the ability to use personal discernment. Tarot cards can be used to give clarity provide guidance and give a perspective outside of the box.

[@Lovelyinspo]

Love you Dr. John but disappointed as a Christian man that you aren't honest about the harm in tarot cards. Be loyal to God and not man.

[@BrD4GOD]

Honestly feel the same about him and God just keeps confirming. I don't remember which video it was, but the lady wanted help on how to be faithful to God in her new relationship after being cheated in or something and he told her don't he faithful to God, be faithful to yourself. He lost me right there majorly. Then there's the one about guns woith the male/ husband caller wanting to defend his home. Thay one is where he says him and his wife disagrees on theology. I wonder what that was exactly biblically speaking. I honestly can't see his faith. There's no fruit. He's basically just a basic counselor who likes edgy stuff sometimes which for me isn't even close to being edgy. I did MMA and played in multiple death metal bands. But God knows. I just struggle to continue listening when there's little knowledge and facts. It's almost like listening to Tom Lykes or Dr. Drew or something. I'm glad I gave my life to God. It's been such a blessing. I won't put the light under the table. We have to be salt and light. I don't see that from him. We can't look to man though. We have to look towards God. With men its impossible but with God all things are possible.

[@Lovelyinspo]

@Brent D amen 🙏 I love your comment. You're absolutely right! Times are getting crazier and we all have a choice between light & darkness. Unfornately some people are choosing darkness for fame, money, popularity, status, and approval from man. I use to watch Dr. John's videos everyday when he started but but my Spirit didn't feel led anymore to continue to watch his videos becuase I felt his advice didn't make sense morally as a Christian man. Decided to watch a video and it just so happened to be this one and now I understand why the Holy Spirit had me stop watching him

[@BrD4GOD]

@Demetria Mcgrone wow that's crazy! Praise God for that. I feel like he's doing this stuff more and more often now. Which is unfortunate. I spoke with my wife about this last night and she agreed and we speculated on why and just talked about the topics. He's definitely not a Sola Scriptura kind of guy. He needs more of God and less of these notepads and stuff. Lol I watched him from his first podcast too. I was one of the 7 lol but yea I'll be tuning in much much much less.

[@markbrenner5713]

I agree. And one thing I would point out is all of today’s tarot cards are modeled after satanist, Aliester Crowleys incarnation of them. They are dangerous and I think brother John should research those. I’m surprised Dave Ramsey doesn’t have issues with that. I still love John and I hope he’s woken up to this. I’ve studied the occult for two decades and that’s how I know this. God bless

[@mv7374]

Girl-that conversation at the beginning of get out wasn’t all jokes 😭

[@pinacolada1393]

I've always said " In Laws" are like the sun necessary but better when far away.

[@elizabethtriesit]

Honestly heartbroken about the tarot card thing. The truth is not flexible, not if Jesus is the source. Love and respect Dr. Delony but agree to disagree

[@gigilafleur1686]

Dr. Delony, I have several suggestions for renaming the diary: Captain's Log, Navigation Record, Insight Factory, Word Magic, Trail Blazing Manual, but my favorite is rather boring, but it sounds scary if you tell someone you have one which I like (haha) "Daily Record of Events".

[@wonder12374]

For Glen in Fresno. You probably aren't going to listen to this, but you need to improve the way you see yourself before you start dating someone. Otherwise, it won't work. There are women who know how to make a man feel great when he thinks little of himself feel amazing because they see the value they can gain and trust me you do not want to be in a boat where you are trying to feel good while dating a person like this what you think is you feeling better about yourself is actually you depending on that person for validation. Or you self sabotage a great thing because you haven't changed your mind to accept yourself as worthy. Take time to yourself get your mind strong serious relationship is not what you need to enter into right now and yes that means being lonely but if you do the work you'll feel so much better in the end.

[@mmkvoe6342]

It's easier for me some of the time to deal with imposter syndrome is I do distance myself a bit from the "identity" of whatever... it's not "I am this" or "I am a this," it's "I do this" or "I have been doing this for the last year" or "this is the job I have to get done right now," and that job can change by the hour or day depending on how I frame it and how much distance and size I want to see it at.

[@victorialarowe4980]

Agreed about tarot…my friends and I use them to clarify what we already know or have decided for ourselves.

[@BrD4GOD]

Why would you need clarity on what you already know?

[@blueseptember2174]

I mean it takes 5 mins to jump off the treadmill and say hello. If they dropped by they would probably expect the parents to stop what they were doing and say hi.

[@ArkansasDeerChaser]

Maybe but what a petty reason to get upset. Grow up.

[@blueseptember2174]

@@ArkansasDeerChaser I'm not upset.

[@ArkansasDeerChaser]

@@blueseptember2174 not you the mom!

[@blueseptember2174]

@@ArkansasDeerChaser 🤦

[@ruz6135]

45:50 is great advice

[@BelieveAndLive668]

I don't get with the whole tarot card thing, I'd never own them but I have seen them genuinely help people (when their taken as a supplement to life)

[@rickardotorres]

Love when you do the reading of music lyrics 🤘🏾

[@jnoble261]

I think there is more to Simone's story..

[@youart9797]

Yeah, she's certifiably crazy, poor thing I feel sorry for her. Drama queen extroninaire.

[@lav7161]

09:15-09:50 John realizes that Simone has her own issues as well.

[@susi09]

Caller 1 - questioning if her parents are racist/xenophobes. Wonder if she has siblings who are married, and whether or not their spouses get treated the same way.

[@Mysterious_Moon]

Tarot is absolutely for used for reflection. Same with astrology. Hard to move forward without assessing and clearly seeing the present and a little bit of the past. Sometimes certain buried feelings don’t come up in therapy or otherwise, until the trigger comes up.

[@brendaharris3310]

When is the John Delony Boblehead coming out!!!!

[@ayoogunleye5507]

Stretchy pants!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@AS-ng5pi]

I don't feel that the title was answered in the video. Am I alone? Kinda disappointed. Click bait title?

[@benmaljaars4235]

Thanks for the love for Canada. Perhaps Ramsey Solutions could show some more love for Canada with opening up the store to us, and providing international support for your apps😉

[@France149]

I subscribe to your KZbin

[@jocelynems5]

Oh how I love the toned down version of you! It's more like, you. And I don't even know you. Much. ;-)

[@mccarthyryan14]

I've wanted to say this for a while, and I'm probably not the first to notice, but the outro bumper music reminds me a lot of a song from one of my favorite bands Mute Math called "Typical." I wonder if Dr. John has ever featured that song for his lyrics of the day... 🤔

[@stephenr4156]

I feel called out. I'm an INFJ and enneagram 4 😂

[@spiraledbeing13]

Super into the woowoo, and I'm impressed with your response to tarot cards. +1points to Dr. John

[@BrD4GOD]

You should do more research if you're super impressed. Lol

[@spiraledbeing13]

@@BrD4GOD weird flex, but ok

[@BrD4GOD]

@@spiraledbeing13 not a flex in the slightest.

[@jasondima1411]

I used to relate to the 1st caller very well

[@olgasuner999]

The 6 th sense not spense.

[@olgasuner999]

There is a program called the 6 th Spence. It’s quite interesting they have a psychologist on the show, they got a shaman, a hand reader, median , tarot reader and yoga instructor. What happens in the show stars go behind the stage and each request from a person some kind of objects and without seeing a person they all are able to feel by the energy in the room behind the curtain what his hight, eye color and who the person is. Also they relieve the persons past, present and future. Most singers snd stars that went in years ago 90% what was said by these people were correct. According to Christian faith it is wrong to go to these people. People go out of desperation and the way they see it as hope. Many Christians are also tarot readers so there is a contradiction there. I like to learn about everything. Too bad the show is in another language otherwise I would have shared the link. It’s quite fascinating.

[@scroogemcduckismyspiritanimal]

It's not just a contradiction for Christians to turn to any kind of divination, it's a sin and a pretty major one

[@olgasuner999]

If you look at the old testaments divorce is a sin. If you apply such ideology to todays world majority of people are sinners. I think this has to do with people’s belief system we got baptist church in my town that if someone goes in with a cross on they are not accepted but Catholic Churches welcome. If you go to other churches they worship icons such as saints. It’s all comes to interpretations and how one wants to believe. Same Christians same churches but different rules go figure.

[@marcmercado2085]

BBC!

[@dallascreamer590]

In response to caller #2. HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS?!?!? You keep saying it but give no action steps on how to do that. As an introvert with no hobbies (other than playing the banjo and playing madden), I have no point of reference on how to accomplish the goal of having friends worth having around. Do I just go to the park and ask random guys "can I befriend you?"? Or do I go to a restaurant and see a table of "bros" and sit with them? Do I add a bunch of guys on social media and DM them to hang out? I am asking for literally action steps that I can take and implement. I have 0 coworkers who are within 5 years of my age (+or-) that are single, no children and do not want to get drunk. I do not drink and have no interest in going to clubs or bars. I already HATE being in large crowds anyways. By the way, I suck at playing the banjo and can not find a teacher. So I'm reduced to KZbin.

[@Kurodarkness]

Try finding or exploring new hobbies, cuz then you can go to places where people are and practice getting to know new people. Examples: learning martial arts, different conventions on things, cooking classes, etc.

[@dallascreamer590]

@@Kurodarkness those things cost money. Anything I can do that's free?

[@leeannhamilton209]

​@dallascreamer590 There are plenty of community outreach programs that are in need of volunteers where you can meet all kinds of new friends 🧡 it costs you nothing but your time.

[@dallascreamer590]

@@leeannhamilton209 how do you find those?

[@BrD4GOD]

Funny how you downplay Tarot card history but not the Enneagram history. Anyways it's just pure cringe. Reminds me of when I was in high school and everyone was doing those paper number games. It's just lame to me. Waste of time imo. But to some people that were deep into the occult, it's very very real to them. And as someone who has a history in practicing and becoming saved let me tell you, you're dabbling in things you probably don't understand. But God's for your back. Make sure you pray man against that stuff because there is a spiritual realm.

[@France149]

🙌👍🫶👀🎉

[@v-2010]

15:04 - There’s so much irony here. She’s imputing racism into the equation without evidence. Such a common occurrence more broadly today.

[@thesprinklebox4841]

You are leading people away from Christ and you are responsible because you have this platform. When you partake in those things you are inviting things that are not of God to enter into your life.

[@jasondima1411]

Explain?

[@ElenaCristinaCojocaru]

if you are a REAL Christian, noone will lead you away from Christ. Not everyone should be religious, dont you think?