7 Things Men Do When They’re Extremely Attracted to You

[@JonathonAslay]

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching

[@AK-ne4og]

@@queen_borks 😅q ❤❤❤❤❤

[@mystica9620]

I have been single for over 5 years, men find me attractive , but when they start getting to know me and they try to get sex from me right away, and I don’t give in, they change, :/because I do not want the fwb, or a one night stand, majority of men just want sex and do not want to commit, I guess I will be single forever 😔I am a good smart independent woman, it seems I scared them off haha, plus I am confident, and I am straight forward with them by telling them if they are looking for a booty call , 1 night stand, fwb I am not the one!! 🙁any advice? am I doing or saying something wrong ?😆

[@amandamedina2533]

@@mystica9620 You are not doing anything wrong. I’ve been single all my life and I am 31 years old. I am the exact same way, every guy I meet I set boundaries and make things clear. Once I tell them I refuse to have sex or 1 night stands they all stop talking to me. You shouldn’t feel bad when these guys give you the cold shoulder when you make things clear to them. You should be grateful you are not wasting your time and energy with a fake person that wouldn’t love you for the right reasons and in the end you’ll end up heartbroken which is worst. Nowadays not gonna lie the “dating & relationship” scene is very hard. People no longer want to commit into something serious instead the mindset is “fun & games.” Being in your shoes my advice is don’t ever feel pressured to be in a relationship right away. Yes it’s hard but you gotta love yourself first and foremost. If you don’t love yourself how do you expect to allow someone else to come into your life and treat you with respect? Remember your happiness shouldn’t depend on another person, you need to be happy and the key is you want to share your happiness with someone who is worth it. That’s the mindset I have every single day. I didn’t have my first kiss until just 2 months ago and 31 years of age with a man I recently met. We had amazing chemistry and the quality time we spent together was special. Even if I don’t know what the future holds for the both of us I want to think positive and whatever happens at least I tried my best and in the end if he doesn’t want to recognize my worth it’s his loss not mines. Don’t be discouraged! Find someone who will respect your boundaries and shares the same morals you do. Let time take its course and when you least expect it someone might just show up. The guy I met is in the military and when I first met him he was the only person I genuinely felt a deep emotional connection with and he is the first guy who ever respected me with my boundaries and both him and I think alike. That’s what you need in your life too! I hope this message will make you feel better.

[@serenasams2772]

I just don't feel like all the drama. I like my peace

[@cindynichols1342]

amen. True happiness must come from within. If you expect a man to make/keep you happy, you are SETTING yourself up for pain... Love yourself first. Develop that relationship FIRST.

[@cindynichols1342]

then you will have many riches to share with like minded souls..

[@rosannaburgess714]

I feel you, me too!

[@mela4156]

I enjoy my solitude.

[@serenasams2772]

@mela4156 this may sound ridiculous but I'm over 50 and just learning how to live , to breathe, to even enjoy a good meal. I've adapted to everyone far too long. I don't know how to explain what I'm experiencing. And the price I paid for , I paid a high price for what was bad for me

[@bwhatever60]

I haven't had a man even approach me in 20 years. It's been so long I don't know where to begin on even being able to find anyone anymore.

[@moni1952]

I find they don't approach anymore. They sit back and want you coming after them. Nope. 🖐

[@bwhatever60]

@@moni1952 In my life: They don't even look at me. I'm beyond sad. Also: I chase no man. They have to show interest in me first. That's just the way it goes. I know flirty eyes and stuff, but I don't even get a glance. I'm too lonely to even describe it.

[@moni1952]

@@bwhatever60 Meh. You're not missing anything. If you do catch someone's eye, he's going to be taken. My life story. Not worth it.

[@vixter28]

Same I don’t have men approach me anymore But when I’m on the dating apps they tell me if I was at that place I would hit on you ! Ya right lol! Doesn’t happen

[@jeanettethoretz779]

​@@moni1952Or eventually they'll cheat.......

[@michellewall6748]

Enjoy being single and your freedom

[@jennifermiller6834]

I've been single for so long that even THINKING about wanting a life partner feels out of the question.

[@janwest2580]

Me too....

[@nichotto]

Ditto

[@djlauren5582]

Yup, me too, it's much easier running my own life without being told how to differently.

[@lizstokes9091]

Same

[@jennifershakira409]

Yeah exactly, agree with you all. Better to be single rather than getting married and feeling stressed all the time.

[@Conn-uv4yk]

I’m at the point where my heart is closed off No emotion no desire

[@Poopworld7889]

@@Conn-uv4yk I'm almost there

[@ioidt]

haha where is the club

[@cindynichols1342]

im sorry. Get a Westie!!!

[@ibstayfly]

Exactly same here

[@FirstJohn418]

❤😢

[@velmacooley2297]

I'm finally ready to step out again after nearly 4years of so many major life changes. Widowed, lost my beautiful working life, my home and my children. Just found the perfect gentleman. He's been patiently waiting for me also. We'll be married next year. We're so greatful as we're 68 and 72. Isn't it wonderful? ♥️♥️

[@felixark058]

@@velmacooley2297 congratulations, happy for your new found romance 💝

[@a.stewart2641]

@@velmacooley2297 beautiful! Very happy for you!

[@maryvernon6411]

@@velmacooley2297 I'm so happy for you. You deserve to be happy. I'm 75 and I'm waiting for my love.

[@flsweetpea7754]

@@velmacooley2297 Congratulations, that's wonderful! May you be blessed with a loving, happy marriage ❤️

[@EmptyNesterWellnessSociety]

@@velmacooley2297 congratulations!

[@JoanneStanley-i1l]

I’ve been single for 16 years. Not even a hug or kiss. I’ve learned to live without this kind of love .

[@BicyclesConfusion]

Hello Joanna, How are you doing, Sorry you have not gotten a kiss or a hug, I am sure you are due for one.

[@Tabitha1966]

I need a man i can connect with spiritually who sees the value in, a friendship that blossoms and grows.

[@BicyclesConfusion]

How are you this evening Tabitha

[@sharoncrawford7192]

My husband and I have been married for over 40 yrs. My husband will thank me for doing his laundry, or for cooking dinner. These are things I do all the time for him. But at times he will thank me.

[@bq1424]

Hmm. You do his LAUNDRY and he doesn’t ALWAYS say Thank You?

[@sherriflemming3218]

If you can find a man that's self sufficient and contributes to shared labour you've won the lottery. I will not cater to men.

[@mark-cherylfeinberg271]

@@sharoncrawford7192 I had one like that for nearly 42 years, lost him 3 years ago. He always made me feel so appreciated, and I did the same for him.

[@NaveDelAmor]

@sharoncrawford7192 That's funny, I never wanted a thank you for doing things I did out of love. I did enjoy a thank you for a dinner or some special gesture.

[@paulettemartin4184]

He's a gift and a real keeper. You are very blessed

[@biondna7984]

My beloved late mate didn't say "Golly-gee, I hope you'll consider being exclusive with me." His confidence was magnetic: he said, "I'm not sharing you with anyone." I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. i'd love to meet one more with that much confidence.

[@moebanshee]

When I met my husband.. I was dating someone who is working for the government. My husband told the guy I was dating,." If anything happens to her because of you I will kill you. " The other guy with a great guy.. just not a great job to be racing a family with. I chose my husband and never looked back. He was a man. I was not a porcelain doll. I was his wife and was to be respected.

[@cindynichols1342]

aww...love that :)

[@Ziggimomspal68]

I’ve stopped looking, I’ve had so many unfulfilling relationships. I don’t have sex with them…I tell them that’s reserved for when we both feel it’s the right time. So I’ve been without it for going on 8 years now. It’s discouraging, disappointing & yet I feel like I haven’t compromised myself or my standards. I just wish I could find a man who could appreciate that. 😢

[@KeepBlooming-bp6lg]

I would assume a serious man would not engage in sexual intercourse with a serious woman until after they are married this is a sure sign of commitment. Know your worth!!! My 2 daughters made a list of what they want in a Man. And they got everything on their list. We are Believers in Jesus and they prayed for the correct man. I too am praying. My hubby died over 4 years ago, I know my worth, I am excellent marriage material...lol...I know what I want. I am not looking for perfection but I know what I want!!! I stopped dating 'cause guys are jerks. But the man God provides, well, we will know when we meet and then enjoy the journey that will lead to marriage. I can't wait to date the Correct Guy.

[@brendalaveine7756]

Im right there with you! Nothing serious as first thing they want sleep with you! Forget it! I do not know where they’ve been! 12years by self!

[@cherieknight7931]

7 Signs He Is Very Attracted To You (Jonathan Aslay): 1) Genuine eye contact = I like you! (Trust) 2) His acts are chivalrous (opens the door, pulls out your chair) 3) He is protective & territorial (he is off the market, too) 4) He might temporarily pull away (especially after initial initimacy) (is this the person I want to invest in?) 5) He expresses appreciation & gratitude for you (after he pulls away for introspection) 6) He teases you! (His little kid comes out - fun & playful side) 7) He progresses the relationship forward & devotes his available time to you (2-3 days & nights a week together, doing activities & hobbies with family & friends, with the intention of exploring a relationship, moving in together, and potentially getting married)

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks 🙏

[@christinehellner3502]

Thanks for posting this.❤

[@sherriflemming3218]

❤️

[@LynnSandler-j9k]

Friends with benefits immediately run from this type of 'bad behavoir" do yourself a favor ladies. Its for your own good!

[@LynnSandler-j9k]

Genuine eye contact, its AUTHENTIC compassionate and real. 😊

[@09280215]

I see those things: looking at me, being present, watching my reactions, wanting to know more about me, show interest, leaning closer, being gentleman with nice manners, speaking with low soft voice, showing me that I'm priority, trying to anticipate my wants and needs, etc.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@RG-hf4et]

And has your back

[@libertysibucao1010]

❤❤❤❤

[@sherriflemming3218]

Well said

[@ritasjourney]

Have the two of you talked about where your relationship is going?

[@thresabeasley1812]

Yes I’m listening,, I never knew how to pick a genuine loving man that appreciated me ,for me. I married 2 narcissistic men, plus 1 boyfriend.

[@livelearnandgrow5422]

I absolutely want a life partner even at 68. Not in a rush. I have everything I need in life. So a life partner will add to my happiness

[@Carmen-hu9vk]

​@@Okoye1964What's good for you is not necessarily good for someone else. Just because you might have had bad experiences, does not mean that she will.

[@ahill1738]

@@livelearnandgrow5422 You look great!

[@BytheWay333]

I’m praying for you to find who God chooses for you! They WILL add to your life! God bless!

[@livelearnandgrow5422]

@ thank you

[@Carmen-hu9vk]

@@Okoye1964 Just because you were miserable doesn't mean she will be. It's her decision.

[@kellymcintyre8080]

Unpopular opinion. Sex without an actual long, term, commitment, in the name of being "sexually free" is a horrible way to date anyone of quality. This is only good for most men . I weed out a lot of damaged, weak, men, simply by not putting out to ANYONE who doesn't want to actually love me, and who I don't actually love. This takes ACTUAL time, not face time, or cyber time. The best feeling is when you don't need a man, but you chose to allow a man into your heart and eventually your bed. Too many people are giving it up, and giving their heart away to just anyone. I have been single a long time, I am not lonely, and I refuse to give up any part of my peace, my heart, or space in my bed, unless the man is worth my time and TAKES THE TIME to get to know me first.

[@V.Hansen.]

Amen

[@mikiviolet9087]

Wow. I'm really glad to see there are still people who do this like the way I was taught growing up. It's a good thing to have this M/O. Thank you. 8 hope many people can follow your example here. Would help make this world a better place.

[@LynnSandler-j9k]

Thanks for sharing

[@sherriflemming3218]

Kelly you nail it. I'm not settling for anything less. Would rather be single.

[@repentjesusiscomingsoon1529]

Amen, I applaud you, Kelly! There are MANY reasons why the Holy Bible tells us to wait for marriage before giving it up!!!!

[@celiaescalante]

I know seven things men do when they are attracted to you. 😊. 1. Love Bomb you 2. Date other women 3. Ghost you 4. Block you 5. Unblock you 6. Try to program you to love them like a mom loves their son 7. Blame you for them being unavailable to you And 8, get engaged with someone else, but still think about you.

[@patriciamontenegro3537]

LOL... SO TRUE.

[@angelahart5365]

Yep. Know him well. Love bombed, incredible sex and lies about our future. That lasted only a few months before he was cheating, and promptly I got the discard. Wish I could say it ended there...but finally...after six years of still responding to his very rare, sexually motivated, but funny texts (he'd married someone else by this time) the miracle happened. I'd had enough. Suddenly all his texts struck me as insulting and degrading and I deleted them all, deleted him from my contacts, blocked him from my phone, and since I reliably find it impossible to memorize phone numbers, I've effectively DISCARDED HIM from my life. It took a long time, but I feel incredibly proud of myself. Still a romantic, but committed to learning who I am, and loving that person for a lifetime.

[@Breakitdown4meplz]

😂😂😂😂

[@Murphlind]

😂😂😂 true in this day and age sadly.

[@mikiviolet9087]

Oh my! You just hit that one outta the park right in the nose. You got that right, and it hurts like mother bear attacks to protect her cubs. Ouch on both partners.

[@amandamedina2533]

I recently met a guy that I genuinely like a lot. He flew over seas not only for a mini vacay before he had to go back into duty because he’s in the military but he also wanted to meet and spend time with me. A lot of the things in this video explains A LOT of what I experienced with the guy. It has helped me clear a lot of questions and doubts I had in my mind. Specifically him pulling away after him and I spent time together. Yes he did kiss me and not gonna lie there was instant chemistry and connection. He did other things that also surprised me but when he pulled back and became distant after we shared a special moment together made me sad and confused. But now I have opened up mind and now I have a clear picture of what went through his mind at that moment. What made me laugh is the “teasing” category because he teases me ALL THE TIME! His inner child comes out and I do find it cute. His little tease never bothered me and I would tease him back and he would blush. I do genuinely like him and that’s why I decided to be patient with him, it’s not easy because he is in the military but every time I talk to him I do have a big smile on my face.

[@Glotglot]

@@amandamedina2533 the teasing is one of my favorites too!

[@siren8105]

The users think if they say "thank you" when you do something for them, they are being grateful. There really is a difference between tossing out those two words verses behaving in a way that demonstrates gratitude.

[@HoneyTurek]

I've been seeing a man for about 10 weeks. I can't believe he hasn't pulled away yet! All my relationships have pulled away but this guy is still coming on strong. I'm not getting carried away though.....If he pulls away, I'm out quick smart. I have wasted so much time with guys who pulled away and I chased and got hurt.

[@melissab7270]

I did the self compassion guided meditation with Matt Hussey and it was really a hard reset that was long overdue. I stopped the casual relationship I had realizing it was not the loving or self honoring thing for myself, especially since he expected me to always drive to him. I remember & appreciate men in my past who’d be gentleman & not do that & look out for my safety & well being. That’s what I need not compromising for selfish individuals for romantic or platonic relationships. It stops in 2023!! 🎉 I’m reading your book next. Thanks for all your perspective!

[@JonathonAslay]

Much appreciated 🙏

[@annmalone8208]

Wow sounds like my previous relationship. May you experience the best relationship that is good for all.

[@kce123.]

You go girl, they are out there and they may be a little shy and injured too so you may have too really be open to spotting the appreciative kind ones that may not be that traditional “ successful” type too

[@jennifershowers7927]

Jonathon is the real deal. You are on the right track. If you want a man that values you then really follow what Jonathon talks about and Matthew. I learned so much from both of them. Jonathon is a joy to talk with. I was divorced after a 30 year marriage and honestly had to read a book on how to kiss a man! I was so lost on dating. These two genuinely care.

[@suziq900]

@@melissab7270 I had to look at the sender of this message bc I actually thought I may have written and forgot! Exactly my thoughts, all points… same! Weird😆

[@kellyhardyman9509]

yeah my son's are super protective of me and size up every male in my building as if to say this is my Mumma Bear and back off i love that about them...i only recently acknoweledged that is what they were doing as boys and as sons of a single mum who is single xx bless

[@SculptExpress-gv8jp]

That’s actually quite sweet. You are lucky to have such boys!

[@suzanneu2]

Yes, I think your observations are spot on! I’ve been widowed for 8 yrs. I have observed a lot of women who are widowed who have gotten badly hurt by men who love bombed them. Also I remember when my mother-in-law first joined an art group in the 1970s. She said that the widowed men who were in the art group would immediately want to invite the new women members out on a date. But the women soon found out that the men wanted a nurse or a purse. Things haven’t changed much in 50 yrs in this department. I’m going to send this video to a friend who was widowed about a year ago. It will be helpful to her because she would like to find a good man and get married again. As for me, I’m content being single.

[@ersheri]

I have to say that you impacted me more than you realize. I month or so I complained here about guys and the men I’ve recently met especially on dating apps. You responded with something like “Maybe you are choosing the wrong men” or “Maybe your priorities are not too narrow” I’m paraphrasing. I think I was offended (stupid of me). But I thought about it nonetheless. Well I have known this one guy for about 5 yrs now. Never thought of dating him at all. He’s short, cute but that’s it, so I thought. One night at a wine bar he sat next to me after my friends had left and we talked. I gave him my phone number. OMG he’s the greatest guy I think I’ve ever been with. Thank you for your insight, for your comment. It’s changed my life!

[@JonathonAslay]

WOW, I'm honored and happy to hear...

[@deniseelliott9968]

As a widow of 10 years and was married 39 years. I really can’t imagine finding someone I could trust 100%.

[@charmee4045]

They can tell you they are interested and they aren't interested at all. Impossible to tell if they are serious. I find lots of men are confused, messed up only when they are getting dressed. My ex devoted all kinds of time for me, until I moved in. Then I was fighting for his time. Narcissists move it forward quickly as well, love bombing, etc. It is a red flag for me.

[@bluliite]

Only time you will know for sure is when they marry you. Not WANT to marry you, but actually do it, and do so without your pressure.

[@ibstayfly]

Facts Facts and more Facts periodt 💯. I love being single. I don't have anything to prove to anybody. I'm not the one for the bullshit

[@patsmith6083]

Yes I did want one but good man are hard to find don't have time for no games nowadays u got to be careful who u put In your life. To many crazy people out here.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree Pat.

[@WNHTCT]

broke down, broke, on the down low, 3,4,5 kids with 3,4,5 women, smokers, drunks and druggies, but still think they're a catch

[@nichegoseberazdvatri]

I've met many different men, and I've come to realize that most of them see me as a side piece. I'm not a value to them, and when it comes down to talking or meeting me they never make plans. It's always spontaneous. I'm not accepting it and so tired of that behavior that I just don't get excited anymore at the prospect of meeting someone who values me as a person. I don't feel the same sparkle feeling anymore whenever I meet a man I'm attract3d to because I don't want to get dissapointed

[@llgrazes]

Also dating in 2023 is absolutely awful disheartening disrespectful. I just don’t know what happened, to all the good people I have met throughout my life there Hass to be one good man out there.

[@michellewall6748]

Nope…..

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Dating can feel so frustrating these days, but don’t lose hope-there’s still good out there, and you’ll find your person.

[@tinaamador3799]

You will always attract what you do not want until you first become what you want,

[@ShopgirlNY182]

I want a life partner but when I’m reminded 80% of the dating market place are dysfunctional I’m not feeling good about it

[@cindynichols1342]

I pray God will send something special your way! You are awesome!

[@ShopgirlNY182]

@ thank you so much! I pray for that too! 🤞🏻

[@deetut7806]

That cute little saying you were looking for I believe is “Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice” verses(lol) “Toads & Snails & Puppy Dog Tails” … really enjoying your insight on this topic… I must unfortunately say, I can totally relate to the rude & inconsiderate user, total lack of eye contact & voids of a gentleman behavior… thank you🦋

[@gretchenburton7184]

Yes, someone to share life with and also have fun.

[@lisawhitehall1870]

@@gretchenburton7184 what's THAT?🫤

[@ceciliepedersen7402]

Yes, but OMG how hard it is to find someone that are compatible. Most men just want to get some, and then vanish. :(

[@cindynichols1342]

Do you know how special you are? seriously, if u must have a man, get a west highland white terrior! you'll get more love and attention than u could ever ask! And you just may see that you have been fine all along.

[@starrystarrybee]

@@ceciliepedersen7402 IS, NOT 'ARE'

[@ceciliepedersen7402]

@ 🤣🤣 Ditt nett-troll!

[@ericacruz1177]

It’s so hard to find a genuine relationship anymore let alone a life partner.. Hopefully one day I’ll find someone who wants the same things as me in a life long relationship .. Where are you my MR right

[@shannonbailey7580]

He's married lol

[@Davienne2010]

​@@shannonbailey7580😂😂

[@sherriflemming3218]

I agree with my mother. Many of the good ones are are taken.

[@cherylmorris1230]

People justv need to be honest about what they want right up front!!! Saves time and hurt feelings.

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@SculptExpress-gv8jp]

But how would they know before they get to know each other?

[@WNHTCT]

men who just want to sleep with you will not be honest, if they think you'll say No to a fwb's situation

[@maidenmarian1]

Yes the dating marketplace is a real absolute mess as you say Jonathon!

[@MaryDunford]

What I want is pretty much the same things as on this list: someone I'm attracted to; but, more importantly, a trusted friend I poke fun at life with. It just seems so unnecessarily complicated. I know this stuff is important, to prevent wasting time. I just don't know if I can think about this stuff, and still enjoy the time I spend with the person I'm getting to know. It's overwhelming. I'm perfectly content on my own, and I like things as they are. Maybe that will change. Maybe not. Or perhaps I don't want a relationship as much as I thought. I just don't want any new drama. 😕

[@sherylw9688]

Yes, I want a life partner, for life, with equality, and tons of kindness

[@jackintheforest]

Just discovered you. I’m in🎉 Liked what I heard. Agree. And greatly appreciate the way you come across - trustworthy, authentic, credible and caring. Thanks, Jon! Look forward to reviewing former and future videos.

[@JonathonAslay]

Welcome aboard!

[@roxyarmendariz4979]

Absolutely life partnership Not a needy partnership 🙌🏻

[@erika8884]

You made me laugh with the "magic fairy dust" comment. 😅 I personally have always been confident and upfront. My mother is a psychologist and sees many men and women with toxic relationship issues. I would like to add that if a person is whole themselves, they will attract similar people. Yes, you will still attract the users and spenders if you are physically attractive. However, you recognize where they are coming from and dismiss them immediately- as they aren't worth your time and energy. Jonathan, you are helping many people find themselves who need guidance. 😊🙏🏻

[@tutsybassista]

I've been single for so long, I'm about to go on clearance sale!

[@QuinnTaylor-hu2yg]

I'd rather be alone, and sometimes lonely, than with a man who detracts from and stirs up emotional turmoil in my life because of his sexual desires. It's not my problem.

[@kl6902]

😂😂😂

[@Yahni320]

😂😂😂 Omg… I get it though! Please don’t do it!!

[@ibstayfly]

​@@QuinnTaylor-hu2yg periodt

[@ChristinaWillard-vp7jm]

😂😂😂

[@EllenPalangio]

Everything you're saying makes total sense. The appreciation you explain is the feeing when you're discovering you really like tis person and all of sudden you feel lucky to have met them. Totally get it when you click with someone, it's great! Women like charming men who are intentional for sure.

[@Patriot_Lady1776]

Great advise once again. I'll never forget "ladies! before the P goes into the V - ask him "what does commitment look like to you?". Ask this 3 months (or whatever soon means to you) into the relationship - not 3 years!!!! I was too scared about losing the relationship and ended up wasting HUGE amounts of time on mediocre relationships. NEVER again.

[@ess1163]

The friends with benefits goes both ways. Women want that arrangement many times. I was fine with it for along time. I loved it. I was in charge.

[@ladylacrimal8447]

I meet this really nice guy at the wine store over six months ago. We would have small talk and laugh. I could tell he was really attracted to me. After a few months, he approached me and said he noticed a mutual attraction between us. We exchanged numbers. We texted and was not sexual. We finally went on a date, had a great time and decided to go back to his place. Almost immediately we became affectionate and then had sex twice. I stayed the night. He walked me to my car in the morning. I expected a kiss but nothing. I expected a call but nothing. I finally broke down and texted him to check in. He told me he wasnt ready to date, didnt expect to have sex, and that he needed to focus on himself. I didnt argue but deep down i was very hurt and felt used.

[@anzelac5808]

Wow!that’s terrible maybe he had a g/f already and just wanted a fling!

[@landigb9481]

I’m sorry that happened to you.

[@V.Hansen.]

Post nut clarity? Wtf?

[@ladylacrimal8447]

@@V.Hansen. Maybe so, I've been with 2 men in 15 years before him. I was really taken aback. 😔

[@rayc9899]

Thanks God everyday that's gone, he was an user and probably a narcissist, very antisocial.

[@l.bailey4791]

You got that right, dating right now is unbelievable 🥴

[@maryvernon6411]

It sucks.

[@ArtLoverScotland]

Currently with my guy who is going to become my life partner and, I, his. Really happy. Yep we did the dating vows/agreement, and the books.❤ I am so fortunate, because my guy does the whole of your list. I love the way he looks at me,,,it makes me smile, he says he is grateful and appreciates me and all I do, and I reciprocate. I am so grateful for this wonderful relationship. He is chivalrous and gentlemanly, protective and caring ..omg he teases but it can be sooo funny. because we 'play' together a lot...we both love it! He is always saying he loves me and misses me ... we said we would move in together 3-6 months. Im ready now, so is he. Coming up for that time. We are looking at houses, furniture, flooring....it really is exciting. We go on holiday to Tunisia soon too...and we have concerts and a craft show lined up after that.

[@gaiabeleza]

Congratulations!!

[@ArtLoverScotland]

@@gaiabeleza Aww how kind, thank you so much for taking the time to comment - I truly wish you well too. Jonathon helped me so much I will be eternally grateful.

[@JonathonAslay]

Happy to hear 😊

[@mctrustsnoone3781]

That’s amazing, so happy for you, thank you for sharing your happiness 💕

[@ArtLoverScotland]

@@mctrustsnoone3781 how lesser u am with a you wonderful folk too... I hope you find that someone wonderful fir you also xx

[@marianneosullivan7971]

What you are saying makes all the sense on the world! First time here. Glad to have found you!

[@helenritchie5388]

Sometimes you KNOW when you meet THE ONE. Don't be fooled by your own momentary hopes of desperate impulses. Meet lots of men, then the right one will trigger your gut feeling as well as your reality. Go with it. But this will be a rare case. At 80 I knew it. We didn't wait. We both knew. I knew he knew, too. Don't wait. You have only the fewest years to live. Ok, ok, look him up first on a security site. Make sure your finances and education are on a par.

[@nickysmith5808]

I want a serious relationship and yes dating sucks!

[@Glotglot]

I have been married for almost 15 years. My husband enjoys outdoor activities, while I'm much more of a bookworm. In particular he loves riding 4x4s whether winter or summer. I used to enjoy riding with him, although at times I refused to follow up or down steep hillsides, and into muddy water. I am 62 this year and he is 65. He worked a job this winter that took him away from home at 4pm, and get home at about 2 am.Twice I asked directly for him to talk to me, or change something so I'm not so lonely. He told me to go make some friends. I'm a severe introvert and don't understand how to make friends. He knows that but it was all he had to say. A few weeks ago I ran into a male friend I had met a few months prior to my husband, so about 15 years ago. He is a newscaster and very recognizable. We ran into each other at a restaurant and we ate together. We have lunched a couple times since then. My husband and I have been celibate for 4 years.Menopause has done a real number on my ability to enjoy intercourse.However, I offered to start taking hormone cream so we could try again and my husband said, "No, that's ok." I'm not intimate with my guy friend either. It's just nice having him compliment my outfit or appearance. Is my lunch friend a bad idea? He does make me smile, and I wonder if I should stop seeing my friend. We always eat in public where he can be recognized and

[@sa9521]

Its been 7 months. What did you decide? What happened?

[@sherriflemming3218]

The roommate relationship. Can you live this way the rest of your life? It's prime for infidelity.

[@repentjesusiscomingsoon1529]

@@sherriflemming3218 I hate to say it, but it sounds as if the husband might have a woman on the side.

[@LunazulBaraka]

@@Glotglot please give us an update!

[@SculptExpress-gv8jp]

No. Don’t give up on any of them. You never know who may go first …

[@CBReal1290]

Oooo glad this "popped up«... I am tuning in! Will edit at the end... teach on... 😊 Excellent identifying reminders!

[@kamipersonal2687]

1. Has Genuine eye contact. 2. Performs Chivalrous acts 3. Is Protective, territorial 4. Pulls away temporarily 5. Is grateful, shows gratitude, appreciation 6. Is teasing you, playful. 7. Is available, devotes time to you.

[@MacMintyLusby]

Snips & snails & puppy dog tails. That’s what little boys are made of. ❤

[@miriamha970]

Your right that the market for a good genuine relationship man is very scarce. I’ve been working on myself to be that genuine person.

[@karenglenn6707]

I have been single after a more than one attempt at marriage. I finally realised that I am just not suited to it, to being answerable to someone, compromising on even my choice of a doona cover for the bedroom. But I am definitely suited to being a mum, it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I have always been answerable to and responsible for him, he is the centre of my life. I have zero interest in heartache and drama anymore, I am just not going to do that all again and don’t feel a need to have a partner at all nowadays. Life is great for me like this and I wish that I had had this insight earlier in life, would have saved some decent men from being hurt.

[@ozwomanid57]

I feel your book on Self Love is really empowering. I did email about a coaching call however it is not possible at this time. I did not receive your Rules of Engagement, yet I did buy your book both the soft cover and the Audible book. In my own relationship I found your "wisdom" a good starting point, yet I feel we must be flexible to a degree. My BF is in law enforcement, he has been in for 25 years and has 8 more before he can retire. He is stoic, thoughtful, and even after nearly a year together he is quiet. He expressed as much as he can (he tells me every day throughout the day he loves me) yet his actions really show how he feels. It's important for us to be in our power coming from a position of self love so we can recognize and be just a bit flexible (NOT a rubber band type) but just enough to understand our partner. Keep up the awesome work! Many hugs to Marie for keeping it really beautiful 😊

[@JonathonAslay]

Did you schedule the call? Thank you for ordering the book 🙄

[@JonathonAslay]

Opps, I meant this... 🙏

[@gloriathompson4010]

Quite agreed. Met a man years ago who liked me. He used to look me straight into my eyes which embarrassed me. He was very caring asking how I was, how am I getting home can he help me but never about the physical side.

[@wejoin]

Seriously want a life partner , Unfortunately, after divorce, fell prey to love bomber (true narcissist) and have had to work very hard to overcome the damage!

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing

[@carmendobbs9396]

❤

[@flutterbydragonfly]

I’m sorry sorry that happened to you. I’ve just experienced the same. Hugs.

[@meg1955]

*Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails VS sugar and spice and everything nice.* Thank you for the words to explain both of my (failed) marriages. These men's dependent attraction to what I provided did not equal love for me (an overfunctioner who naturally stepped into the voids in their lives). No wonder that I noticed something lacking as time went on!

[@deec411]

it's so interesting. I saw this video a year ago and was with a spender and a user and knew we didn't have any future together so I finally ended it after realizing I didn't need anyone to make me feel happy and safe. Ed came into my life about a month later (we connected on Valentine's Day) and we both just want to enjoy our time together by doing the things you always say Jonathon--spending time together, shared interests, spending time with family and friends. He is the first man I ever dated. The others were immature and selfish. It's wonderful with Ed. I truly believe that what we really want we need to let go and that's when it comes to us. I think we're afraid that if we let it go, we'll miss it or it just won't come to us at all. Have faith and God Bless. ✨🙏🏻✨

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@velmacooley2297]

Yes ❤ As soon as you are ready, what you have been looking for Will show up. Have courage and trust God to come through. Brave souls win.🎉🎉🎉❤

[@lindam4006]

I have not got caught up with users or needy men, but I really appreciate your confirming the wisdom of my choices. And thanks for confirming its a mess out there. A good woman only needs one good man. You give us plenty of homework to figure out how to get ready for him and find him.

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome

[@cynthiamarquez3370]

I'm so glad to be married.

[@ArtLenLa]

@@cynthiamarquez3370 me too!

[@wendybennett6283]

Yes- I’m 55, and want a life partner- may have found him but watching everything you say for guidance

[@Greenbambu78]

My body is my temple where I delve deep into myself to learn to connect with myself, others, and the world..trashing my temple is like setting myself on fire...Yes, Jonathan, liberating doesn't mean running everything to the ground...I found inner child therapy extremely useful to reverse, heal, and promote growth multiplicity. I personally believe life and creativity forces originate when we are most connected to our source/higher self in the purest form. I know when I meet the right person for me and filtering through that is a big hassle every woman/man has to face, unfortunately. 🙏 But when the time comes, everything will fall into alignment without forcing...

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@pamelab7235]

My husband of 22 years did every one of these things except for the pulling away. My dad always told me that when a man is interested in you, you won't need to guess, if anything you won't be able to get rid of him (that's a joke kids, he didn't mean stalking.)

[@meerkat2259]

I world like a life partner. A commitment which is not about fireworks but a calm patrnerwho is a building type personality

[@JonathonAslay]

Amen 🙏

[@yupyup1562]

Thank you. Very good information. For myself though, I’ve been alone for so long now, and have aged, that I am now invisible or undesirable to men. Men my age want women two to three decades younger than themselves, or they are unhealthy and on many medications, or they are feeble minded. It was hard facing the realization that the last time I was with a man would be my last, but I have. I now live in peace, a friend to many.

[@edithsavoy7156]

I notice the tone of voice when he's serious. It's softer, deeper, more breathy than normal. The volume fluctuates so he's almost singing instead of speaking. It's the same tone as when he approves of what he sees and says "mm-MM-mm!" or "I LIKE you!" and means the same thing.

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes, that's accurate...

[@sism3028]

Jonathan you are so smart! You help so many people! I appreciate you!Thank you!

[@JonathonAslay]

I appreciate that!

[@maryannharney5576]

This therapist would drive me crazy. He is so distracted and constantly moving, (cleaning his glasses, drinking water, sniffing and wiping at his nose). it was hard for me to focus on what he was saying because I wanted to say “sit still and settle down “.

[@jeri8853]

Stunning orchids behind you!!

[@ArtLoverScotland]

Dear Jonathon, I appreciate YOU. I have learned so much from you. I ended a previous date with a guy as he was the proverbial spender, turned out he had mental health issues - was a terribly sad, but horrendous hoarder! Lots of unresolved loss issues. Now I am with the 'ONE' Thanks to all your great advice and rants.

[@JonathonAslay]

Awe... thank you 😊

[@kmom9070]

I wouldnt say "seeking" because I'm not "going after it" . . . Im happy solo. . . However, if the right person came along i would be open to happily ever after with a grower and builder type of man who does want a life partner i do it all and am a leader by necessity so the man would need to want to let me be soft and more traditional. Happy to just work on raising my amazing teen and care for my older cousin with muscular dystrophy, garden, pets, projects, self improvement, work, etc.❤

[@NameFirst-ct3pd]

The experience of mine in last three years are like horrible nightmare that has swallowed my character

[@KariOfTring]

Yes, serious relationship please❤

[@LizaLizzaaaa]

He's so incredibly cute and obsessed and helpful and we dont EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER'S NAMES!!!!! 🙈🙈 Just some examples - 1. The first time we interacted- He was using a gym machine, i asked him how many sets does he have left cause i wanted to use it too. He said oh oh I'm done! I was like oh cool and i used the machine. Later i saw him go back to the machine and finish his sets 😂😂 2. Our second interaction - i was waiting for him to finish his set and he got up and immediately started saying something about he would've done something but he didnt? I couldn't even understand what he said. (Keep in mind we had never talked before )Then we had a short convo. 3. I was waiting to use the same machine that he was using. He took off the weights that he was using ( since he's way stronger and i guess you can call it common courtesy) but THEN HE LOADED UP MY WEIGHTS FOR ME without me even saying ANYTHING. And then he just left😂😂 who does that 4. One day we were almost the last people in the gym- He finished his workout (he was doing legs )and i saw that he was lingering in the gym doing random stuff moving random weights doing his biceps or whatever 😂 then i finished my workout and picked up my bag to leave the gym. He quickly grabbed his phone and followed me outside the gym (i really thought he'll talk to me or ask me my NAME at least while we ride in the elevator together- i was very happy barely able to contain my smile) But when we reached the elevator and i pressed the button, our gym trainer was there and this cute guy started randomly saying to the trainer "oh why isn't the elevator ever working" and the trainer was like ??? It IS working man! . And before the the elevator could even come to our floor, this guy BOLTED down the stairs . I was like????? You fool. 5. He's ALWAYS around me. Like whatever area of the gym I'm in, he'll shuffle his exercises to within like 5 feet of me. He grabs stuff exactly from where I'm standing he just finds excuses to walk past me all the time. BUT HE NEVER COMES UP TO TALK TO ME. 6. I was doing deadlifts and he was doing his calves and the machine is just behind the deadlift rack. I saw that he was staring so hard at the ground trying to avoid looking at my butt . Generally when he's doing calves he's always looking around. It was cute. 7. He comes to the water cooler 80% of the time when I'm there. 8. i used to catch him staring a lot but lately he AVOIDS eye contact even when he knows I'm looking. I don't know what happened. 9. Today i did a blunder . I accidentally BRUSHED MY HAND AGAINST HIS BUTT!! I was walking and he was doing deadlifts. He stuck his butt out cause he was doing the workout and my arm brushed against his butt. IM MORTIFIED

[@TemplePriestess]

@@LizaLizzaaaa I have experienced this. Some are afraid and expect you to make the first move. And then when you don’t they give up because they lack the courage. Yet the tension is still there… smh

[@pamelab5075]

@@LizaLizzaaaa perhaps he's in love with someone he is faithful to.

[@gailmorgan2556]

​@@TemplePriestessI have had 2 clearly interested guys like this not make the move. And I mean similar situation where you encounter them regularly theres chemistry mild flirting they're definitely single and seem to want me to make a move. I won't do it. That was a few years ago I walked away finally from both. My interest was clear enough. I'd rather be single. Guy has to.make the first move with me. But if you're compatible with shyer men go for it. I'm not.

[@wenderella81]

I just started dating someone after being single and not dating for 5 years. Despite all the self work over the last 5 years, I have found so many old anxieties surfacing. Of course, I slept with him too soon. However, he's unlike anyone I've ever dated. Kind, compassionate, attentive but I'm so terrified I'm going to choose someone emotionally unavailable again that it paralyzes me. I'm trying to ground myself, practice self care and make sure I'm exploring my own interests. Dating is the worst. I am glad I found this channel to help guide me.

[@celiaescalante]

The values, the mutual hobbies and the family outings, but he was making fun of me and my dad. His, "I would have made you my girlfriend and for marriage, if you hadn't..." was just another ridicule he was having with me. He was engaged and said that if his fiancee was there, he wouldn't have let me in on Christmas! He's blind! The woman he picked didn't even wanted to be with his family on Christmas and having family over is top on his list! I even felt guilt for not helping him in selecting the right one. He loved me so much, but then he acted like a jerk again and again. I can't wait to be in a serious relationship with the 20 percent!

[@CindyWalsh-h5w]

Yes I’m ready. Finally.

[@zensvlognotapro]

Have an attitude of gratitude and appreciation most ppl often neglect that virtues. Some ppl don't know the power of gratitude and appreciation. Heyy! JA I like your long sleeves. Marie makes you more handsome 😊. We feel young when we're inlove❤😊

[@Bridgetgethins]

I was going to tell our LOVE story. We have been going strong since 1979. We are so in love. We were married our junior year in college. We had zero money. We decided our marriage gift to each would be. Daily acts of kindness. 45 years, we still practice daily acts of kindness. Not all grand gestures, smiles of love, letting the other win the argument even when you know the other is wrong. We did crazy things like going to college full time and having our first son. We both are artists. People our family all thought this was impossible, but we knew together we could do anything. I took our son to my rehearsals. We took him art openings. Wherever our kids were with us. Yes, Greig adores me. He even donated a kidney so I could have a living kidney. September 16th, 2020. PKD . We are grateful for each other. Love at first sight. I love him dearly. Oh, and my Irish father stated at our wedding- " It won't last, one will find out how useless the other is." As Greig says , we still haven't figured it out."

[@kristenhoffarth9039]

I shared this with my friend who is so needy and can’t find the right guy

[@JonathonAslay]

Hope it helps...

[@beautybellsvanity]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we started out as FWB. We met in college and have had a very fun and adventurous life together so far and are working towards a brighter more financially supported future together.

[@ritasjourney]

I think it’s pretty rare for that to work out. Happy for you.

[@pfos8768]

I am a widow. I am lonely for a committed relationship. I am a boomer. "The dating out there does suck!"

[@Ziggimomspal68]

I am too. It’s really really tough…widowers are lonely but more for the physical than anything else, imho

[@paulettemartin4184]

I'm 74 yrs old woman, divorced and interested in a male companion for a serious relationship, and marriage. My last marriage was 25 years. My now ex- husband was a flirt and a narcissist. He cheated on me for the last 10 years or so of our marriage.

[@BicyclesConfusion]

So sorry about that, How are you doing this evening Paulette.

[@susangreene6449]

That "pulling away " feels like rejection and relationship inadequacies. It would be nice to have a different way to assess whether to continue to have a relationship or not. People are so vulnerable especially at the start of a new relationship.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@belleofthecamp6530]

I gather it has to accompany the other signs, and encompass the majority of them.

[@jolindo6724]

A very dear male friend who helped put the pieces back together, told me "remember he who need least always wins". He was right, it gets rid of the players very quickly... they are not inclined to put the time in

[@gailmorgan2556]

Another option is to wait for marriage or at least engagement. Eliminates this mostly.

[@ess1163]

Yes. I’m ready. It’s time.

[@irenerichardson9811]

This was the first video of yours that I have seen. I appreciate your valuable insight. Thank you for being so caring!

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome!

[@carrierichards1266]

thank you for your insight. after years of narcissistic men, took a year for me and unexpectedly met a good man. not sure where it’s going but going slow and still working on me

[@aqua6613]

Has anyone ever felt like the person you love communicates with you on a subconscious level? I feel like he consciously rejects me, maybe a defense mechanism, but somehow I've tapped into his subconscious? I guess he's been so damaged and traumatized that conscious communication is not possible, so we've like developed our own language that we communicate love in that is safe for him. I suppose if you've been traumatized by your care givers and people who were supposed to love you, then lobe becomes weaponized and it's not a safe place or frequency to operate in until there is some healing that takes place. I am absolutely intrigued by it because I do like puzzles and cryptic things. Love does seem to make you do some crazy things and you put up with exactly the things you've told yourself you'd never tolerate and here I am doing just that. I feel like the nurse in that 70ies movie that Metallica used where the guy has no sight no voice no hearing and no limbs, but the nurse draws hearts on his chest. I feel like I'm that nurse. If this is how we'll end up being for eternity then so be it.

[@liviavolosen2979]

Need to prove myself to myself! Love you for your contagious optimism!

[@marciasloan534]

Jonathan, I have followed you and enjoy your content. There needs to be a thought about older people who don’t want marriage. I still want an exclusive relationship, just not financial entanglement.

[@4craycray]

I read an article on James Brolin. He said part of the success of his marriage with Streisand was “financial bifurcation”. That means they keep their financials separate. So there is no contentions in that area, which lightens the load of combining lives.

[@vilaharrison4066]

I live in the Heartland and I can honestly say I am so thankful and happy after seeing my late brother in law for over 42 years. My question is, are there any better men out there.

[@JonathonAslay]

There are many amazing men out there!

[@jenniferl1908]

What about men who only care about physical attraction? What about emotional and mental connection? I feel like the men on the dating apps say physical chemistry is the most important thing a relationship.

[@JonathonAslay]

That's because humans believe chemistry equals love... humans are rather clueless 🙄

[@ninavongunten122]

Beware of the men you meet who may be secretly bisexual unbeknownst to you. It is totally unfair to any woman seeking a long-term relationship or marriage. In addition, you could end up with a STD sexual transmitted disease. Before entering any intimate relationship, both parties need to be tested for STDs. You need to protect your health, your wallet from any possible future heartbreak! 💔 Because only you deserve so much better! Good Luck! 🧲

[@Ms.Stephanie.C]

I finally met a good one and he does all of these things on your list. I’m 51. I’ve been through the wringer.

[@JonathonAslay]

That's so great to hear - I'm happy for you!