7 SURPRISING Things Men FIRST Notice In A Woman

[@JonathonAslay]

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: kzbin.info/door/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1gjoin Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows

[@Portia620]

Communication could be better for both sexes is my thoughts and both sexes need to work on themselves and stop pointing fingers.

[@Portia620]

I’d love for you to dress all these things you recommending to us where the statistical proof that any of these processes will land us in a long-term relationship that will be successful once we heal completely because my research shows that the only way to heal is to get out there and actually get into relationships and be working with somebody a therapist or someone and in your relationship which takes another person that is working on themselves and open to realize that we’re all human and we make mistakes and us are growing, so we can be better people for our partners and for ourselves! I’d love to see the research on these books showing outcomes. please post studies or anything underneath your info thanks in advance as I’m studying relationships and how to make them epic

[@silviadambrosio7234]

I definitely agree..

[@Portia620]

I don’t look at the outside! I want to see their soul and who they are like personalities does it for me! It’s so hot!

[@user-cl4dv4sb7y]

ready for the hot seat : )

[@reginasimon8784]

1-Smile. 2- Effort 3- Depth 4- Energy 5- How she represents herself and takes care of herself 6- Emotional well-being 7- Self confidence

[@AngelYoung-ng8bu]

Thank you. I like some of his information however he seems to drag things out so long I get tired of listening to him. I appreciate you summarizing it 🤷😉😘🥰

[@Ohio45545]

The only person you can fix is yourself.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@CharleneMarshArtist]

Avoidant = warm and friendly, fuzzy puppy one day and a cold eyed, reptialian snake who doesn't know you the next day. Behavior so bewildering I had to google it. Never saw anything like that before in my life. The good news is that they are so shut down and damaged that building a relationship is impossible. Thank you God for the protection! 🤣🎊🎉

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree Charlene. Are they interested in doing healing work and behavioral changes? Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record In this world verify everything. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

[@zenlife321]

Amen

[@CharleneMarshArtist]

@@sherriflemming3218 Not sure if he would be open to healing work. Avoidants are very independent and self sufficient and may not appreciate the suggestion that they are broken. So it is tricky.

[@sherriflemming3218]

@@CharleneMarshArtist I hear that. Best to be upfront with him. Call a spade a spade. Can refer him to Jonathons men's channel. You've got to consider how his behavior will effect you and the relationship.

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes...

[@marlenebtagelman2451]

My.counselor said best friends stay together.

[@rhondapavlakovich6093]

Saw the best saying the other day “To a desperate woman a clown becomes a king’ I died.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Good one. 😁 I'm not desperate.

[@carrielegg5480]

ggod one. Has this happened to you before?

[@JonathonAslay]

Interesting

[@NatalieG-yi3pn]

so true sadly I know so many desperate women because of the lack of single men. Women will settle and put up with men's ego and narcissitic crap.

[@victoriakurian2060]

Honesty to me is the most important quality in my relationships. Without honesty there is no Trust. Thank you Jonathon, your messages have really helped me. I hope to hear your say on this topic. V

[@terribarnes9870]

You're incredibly insightful I feel you're the best online relationship coach that comes across online

[@JonathonAslay]

WOW, thank you 😊

[@passionfruitpassionfruit2034]

Online stinks most r looking for hook ups better to meet in person through friends n family

[@JonathonAslay]

yes

[@robmaria7164]

I’m a widow of 4 years. I did facebook dating yesterday. I got so many responses and lt was too much. I deleted it as it was overwhelming. Hard to deal with.

[@Sunlightsam24]

I would put A LOT of money on that most are fake. Online dating takes discernment and another level of patience lol

[@JonathonAslay]

I understand

[@robmaria7164]

I could tell some were fake but l thought it was my time wasted mostly. So l have my avoidant friend with no benefits.

[@AngelYoung-ng8bu]

It's horrible. I too got Soo many responses that I almost got overwhelmed but the quality of the men my age suck. Fortunate for me I met a guy I never dated but we became friends and after 1.5 years I fell in love. We have a solid foundation to build on. Don't bother with the dating sites, it truly is a waste of time and lots of scammers. Sending you much love and hugs 🤗

[@tammy6521]

I did the something and deleted it, 3 years later, after working on myself , I found an amazing man online. We are exclusive now. He was the only date I had except And well worth the wait.

[@teresawright5654]

Very astute information! I also love the information on how a female can initiate contact in an interesting way instead of a couple word intro. 👍

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@debbiesunbrock425]

Ive had men online comment on my smile, so many times. who knew this was a great first pic on my profiles.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@debbiesunbrock425]

Thanks for the heart and sorry to miss the free call. I'm a real estate agent, sorry I don't contribute..you're truly worth it but who knows about this economy. It could last for years like 2007-08 to whenever, I was nursing my late husband by then. He was sick from 2013-17. No money could keep him alive. Cancer is evil. They warned us as kids about pollution and we have sick healthcare, the big pharma wants you on unsuccessful meds. They prolong life. I hope AI makes a difference figuring out stuff. And the new generation tells big pharma where they can take their bribes. I was on AI tonight, simply amazing. I used Quantum AI, Elons company. It's free. Move over Google.

[@debbiesunbrock425]

I absolutely love your show, advice and your own ownership. Drop a few f bombs anytime. My absolute fav cuss word. Your too, huh.

[@jodiewilliams6961]

Thanks Jonathon! Makes me feel alot better❤❤❤❤

[@cindycox4921]

I love what you said about talking to people you meet on the phone, how you can talk to someone for hours and it's not going to lead to anything but it's a great conversation, I'm a talker, always have been, I use to love talking to people I've had many hours long conversation on the phone with people, even the wrong number, I love meeting people, I use to anyway, getting older has many challenges and society has changed so much, I'd love to talk to you Johnathan, your such a warm, sweet, empathic guy, your so sweet & Rare! Thanks for doing what you do!!

[@JoySpirit888]

God's blessings and healing to all Amen 🍀🙏😇😇🙏😇🙏

[@JonathonAslay]

🙏

[@MargaretCampbell583]

Jonathon is fantastic ❤

[@sandrabrown6860]

❤ this is resonating and you are very helpful Jonathan 😀 Thank you 😊 I am sending you a big bear 🐻 HUG❣❣ I appreciate you 💝

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome

[@melinarojas6816]

This was so good thank you!

[@JonathonAslay]

You're so welcome!

[@CBReal1290]

So far, I think this is one of the most excellent presentations on the topic communication with equal effortS

[@JonathonAslay]

Wow, thank you!

[@donnaread4109]

Love the way you speak from the Heart ❤❤❤❤

[@JonathonAslay]

Awe... thank you 😊

[@lisamichelle5311]

Binge watching “Couples Therapy” Wow! Thanks Jonathon! 🤗

[@JonathonAslay]

Hope you enjoy

[@lisamichelle5311]

@@JonathonAslay Couldn’t stop watching!

[@fayegalemore5395]

What about men can text and talk on phone but to meet for coffee face to face have to drag out every word. Got tongue tied. Was most awful time couldn’t wait to get to my car. Then when I get home he calls want to go on another meet?? No way was painful!!!

[@JaneMoon_6]

I'm a woman and I have this problem. Could be social anxiety

[@fayegalemore5395]

Then should not be online dating g if anxiety socially!

[@JaneMoon_6]

@fayegalemore5395 what's the alternative then, to stay single forever?

[@dianneking4604]

I think every one deserves a second chance & maybe even a third. I don't know if I would be entirely relaxed & authentic on my first time date at this point. That said, I am just getting comfortable with the idea after 9 yrs as a widow... Time for me to get with it. But anxiety is running very high here.

[@lindym9450]

Jonathan, you really shed the true reality of Janelle 's situation ❤❤. Outstanding job and advice. Amazing🎉. I love watching your podcasts. I learn something new each time. Thanks for being there for us Big Loveable Bear Jonathan ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks so much!

[@RaysOfSunshine-uw2sc]

You have a handsome smile.

[@gailfroelich9633]

You are right. I care about a connection thru talking, not looking at pictures. What if a woman isn’t pretty but is fantastic. Gail

[@juliefrecker3811]

That was interesting that situation (hot seat) is familiar. That’s what it is yes anxious and wanting confirmation.

[@stephaniepersin4222]

Come on Jonathon all those celebrities you listed had non surgical and surgical procedures and regular woman do not have those luxuries. Good luck with women without your filters IRL.

[@JonathonAslay]

At age 50?

[@stephaniepersin4222]

@@JonathonAslay they start way earlier than that usually starting with non surgical mid 30s, then as they get to late 40s they get the brow & eyelid lifts and mini facelifts and then when they hit 50s they get the full facelifts. Genetics isn’t a miracle worker and some cream you put on your face doesn’t get rid of puppet lines and sagging.

[@stephaniepersin4222]

I had a reply yesterday that was erased here because reality isn’t wanted. Live in your own reality and get a woman in entertainment.

[@JonathonAslay]

@@stephaniepersin4222 I have not erased any comments. What did your reply say? May I ask, what does this mean? "Live in your own reality and get a woman in entertainment." BTW, you did make a good point about surgeries; I had not thought of that when I made that comment.

[@stephaniepersin4222]

@@JonathonAslay that’s it. However if you live in S. CA and see many non celebrities, but financially well off people who can afford Botox and fillers therefore that is your norm. I didn’t worship the sun in my 20s, 30s and 40s and wore sunscreen and hats so the deep wrinkles aren’t there yet at 59 but when you hit 50s you have puppet lines and some sagging around your lower jaw and neck. I’m just a realist. I live in the real world.

[@gloriabirnbaum6424]

Yes…nice smile & clean cut

[@mariakeaton9380]

I agree with you Johnathan, a smile is very welcomeing. London has this thing where the guys have a serious face and stare at me. For ages I kept thinking what have I😮

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you 😊

[@lindym9450]

Dating someone hung up on an ex means you are there for comfort purposes. AKA a therapist. Prepare to be disappointed if you expect them to be "fully in". Thanks Jonathon, for heightening our awareness 👍.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing!

[@MargaretCampbell583]

I love couples therapy. I watch it often

[@JonathonAslay]

Me too

[@partymisfit1226]

Re: the phrase that preceded the word dating. Hilarious! 😂

[@JonathonAslay]

LOL

[@lindafish2789]

When a person has experienced something like childhood polio, or 3 years of chemotherapy, or 13 years of surgery and rehab, there is no comparison. Granted, everyday life has its challenges, but what is all this fuss about growing up and living?

[@sandrahostetler8682]

Hilarious about the Dumb and Dumber analogy 😅.

[@lindahahn1823]

I think you should have a personal session on creating a “great” profile. One-on-one

[@JonathonAslay]

I do

[@janetcarrier313]

Women's estrogen decreases and that causes an imbalance between our testosterone, and estrogen.

[@DorothyPrater]

Jonathan, thank you for being a super coach. I met someone On a dating app. We both were looking for the very same attributes We are planning to meet Friday. I am so glad to have found you as a dating coach. I am 13 yrs older. He says he likes older women. What do you think?

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Bb-k4gd]

Just be careful with scammers … or younger men that want to use women… Good luck! 👍🏻

[@juliefrecker3811]

Lol jonothan I was thinking the same answer to that question about the man over 50

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes 👍🏼

[@sandrabrown6860]

I agree. Over the phone is appropriate for a mediocre "friend" of a few months. Years and time are not a part of this 4 months "relationship"...

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@Bb-k4gd]

Everybody is different and go at different pace …. Not everyone is comfortable going so fast.

[@tamarawolverton3895]

LOVE THE PICTURE BREAK DOWNS!!! lol and unconscious human being!! lol

[@tamarawolverton3895]

The funny part is those "messy" bathrooms are probably what they would say they just cleaned up...yikes

[@JonathonAslay]

Lol 😆

[@esleslirons2758]

Yes Jonathan, you really look swell. I like your presentation, top! But I am at the point that his spiritual being is very, very important to me. So he can look as fantastic as can be, but if that is missing...not for me, being on the same page very, very important. And oh my goodness, energy...come on, just energy. that sparkles, that gives a positive vibe... And please, being funny, matching in being... humorous , creative , open minded....emotional available....

[@JonathonAslay]

I hear ya... thanks for sharing 👍🏼

[@cathyandresiak]

Yes, over the phone. He is just playing!

[@alexdeyong2890]

I think that most people (both women and men) are lazy. They don't want to put any effort into getting to know another person. They think (and even more, expect) that the other person will just be "swept away" with their looks and that the great fairytale love story will happen just like that. Also, I believe that most people are selfish and when they are getting to know another person, they always come from their own needs and desires - how they will be satisfied, disregarding the other human being. And if we are honest to ourselves, we will recognize this inside us and start working on ourselves first and foremost.

[@JonathonAslay]

Love what you shared and I'm going to use this in an upcoming video.

[@alexdeyong2890]

@@JonathonAslay Thank you. I made my life quest to get to know and better myself and this conclusion is the result of 50 something years of thinking and learning. I know the hardest thing is to admit to oneself that everything begins (and ends) with us and that we are the only ones responsible for how life will unfold, but it is not easy to admit it. It is a struggle that lasts a lifetime...

[@Bb-k4gd]

@@JonathonAslayThis is incredibly inaccurate!! Maybe a projection?…. 🤔

[@vikibobula8930]

Questions: If I have more than an Intro Like Your example and go further in my questions and telling in The First step, what ist when? I am hard in talking, and more than 85% are of The men scared! I am starting in this subject, willing to learn!

[@dianneciresi7208]

How do u deal with fear of abandonment issues from childhood..

[@JonathonAslay]

By facing it head on...

[@sandiwhitten9497]

Excellent ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks 😊

[@sherryj738]

Off topic...how do you like your new vehicle?

[@JonathonAslay]

Love it... thank you

[@janetcarrier313]

Jill: He might be playing games trying to make her jealous. It is immature no matter what. I have to ask Jill, is that something you would have even thought to do to him? It just seems rude!

[@elipotter369]

So the shiny healthy hair (in pale blonde) must be why men follow me at the shops. Men in their 20s-50s. I'm so sick of it.

[@Sunlightsam24]

I’m confused on why Janelle was hurt that he didn’t contact her in April when she wanted no contact?

[@JonathonAslay]

I didn't understand either...

[@Bb-k4gd]

She ended the no contact after 15 days, but he took the whole month 🤭

[@elipotter369]

My thoughts on the conversation: she took a break from him in April - if I did that, i would make more of an effort to assure them I was still definitely interested & i would have called in April. And no way would i text saying well i guess dinner is off (too passive aggressive) - i would have picked up the phone & had a discussion re time & place. As to the mediocre sx i would have a nice convo re being middle aged & sx. He sounds like he thinks she's not interested. If someone repeatedly let me down, then i would assume they've lost interest and just move on. Given the unclear situation the caller was in & the length of time dating, I'd organise a face-to-face. And BTW that just audio was way easier than all your usual ladies who can't even set up a camera properly. She had a good clear voice too. Plus, you might get more callers if it's just audio.

[@MCC4RTHY1]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I work in airport security 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@JonathonAslay]

😃

[@CaraVinh]

currently I'm dating, I'm 22 from Asia and he is 40yo divorced American man - I feel like we both have strong connection and spiritual growth together, he seems had trauma from the past, so am I, and now we're in serious relationship. but what make me concerned is culture differences😮‍💨 many people will criticize too..

[@anneu9158]

You said the relationship is serious. Have you met his friends? Do you get together with his friends, dinners, bbq’s, hanging out, traveling together? Have you met his children? Do you spend time with them? If he has kids. Have you met his parents? If he is not including you in his life and if the two of you are just living in a bubble of the two of you together all the time then this is not real. Just putting in my opinion because of the age difference between the two of you and you might not see the big picture. Don’t want you to get hurt.

[@CaraVinh]

@@anneu9158 yes he came to visit me on April, and travel together in my country, bcs of the distance its a bit obstacles, but yes we planning to meet again for the next trip and we both want relationship to grow, I’m working remotely and he is working too - and no he doesnt have a kids yet

[@NatalieG-yi3pn]

the age difference is a lot. are you looking for a father figure? anyime a women dates an older man she has daddy issues. just being honest.

[@DivineFeminine99]

Doooooont take a divorced man. They are VERY jaded and they will not treat you right. He's just going after you bc he thinks you are easier to manipulate and control bc of your age. TRUST ME!!!! I know from experience. A lot of these divorced men are just saying whatever to bond with you but he's just interested in young , easy -to-manipulate women.

[@CaraVinh]

@@anneu9158 I met him already on last April and we traveled together, and no he doesn’t have a kids - we are planning to meet again and wanting relationship to grow, but bcs of the distances 23h away by plane its a bit obstacles (not money) and we both working, well I work remotely, but yeah we will meet again and still keep in touch until now

[@lindahahn1823]

I feel men are not comfortable with a confident woman!

[@JonathonAslay]

Wounded men and women are uncomfortable with healed people

[@susancottenham]

🎉 : Can't we all just have a slice of watermelon and enjoy life! " Nonviolent Communication". Let's not point.... let's talk!

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes 👍🏼

[@susancottenham]

🎉Just putting it in the "Universe."

[@rozgarrettjustkeyit]

Just walk away, do not text Actions rule

[@anneu9158]

I hate that saying, when you point a finger you have 3 pointing back at you. It sounds like such a saying for kids. I think it is stupid and doesn’t really apply. If I am pointing out something about a person I am usually right. And I know my own downfalls but I am a good person and there is not much to say bad about me. I am too old to be a shitty person.

[@elipotter369]

It is a bit of a cliché and you're right there are times metaphorical finger pointing may not be appropriate. Though I think J uses it as he's sick of people (women) criticising and whining too much when they have big flaws themselves. I'm tired of the expression as it's just a lazy generalisation and euphism to avoid saying: "take a look at yourself & see what you can change re you, instead of focusing on criticising others so much".

[@JonathonAslay]

What elip said...

[@Lucky2bYou]

Friends - HIRE a good photographer to take headshots. The bad weird cropped photos or making faces ie ducklips is all an attempt to look like something you arent. Many professionals need quality headshots lol not just actors in LA - so you will look mikes ahead of all others.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@Tbn48ibp]

Limerence is shallow and brings about shallow behavior and communication

[@JonathonAslay]

Is it shallow?

[@Portia620]

Can we stop saying childhood! How about later on in life! 🤦‍♀️😂.

[@Yougrowgirl80127]

Sure wish u hadn’t pointed the fingers at only the ladies .. cuz I have done all those things u say and the men reply with just a simple answer to my question and that’s it. No N.I.C.E. back. Boorrring

[@JonathonAslay]

Noted

[@kenbrb6261]

I really like your channel, but can you please refrain from using the B word... as in Resting B Face...? I get that is a term used all the time, but it hits different hearing it as an actual woman. What's the negative of just NOT saying it and to err on the side that you support and honor women (which I can tell you do) in all ways. I know this is a minor thing.. but just wanted to mention it. Please and thank you.

[@JonathonAslay]

Noted...

[@marydietterich5968]

Turn off…Bathroom selfie! Lol

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@Bb-k4gd]

I’ve gotten selfies from men in their nice bathroom’s mirror and loved them. I think they are so cute 🥰

[@MargaretCampbell583]

Women are all over the place in couples therapy. I do think the women are more hostile and angry. Both are the problem. Yes I agree the the women tend to blame the men.

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes, and the other way around too...

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree Jonathon it can go both ways. Couples therapy is intervention. It's hell.

[@NatalieG-yi3pn]

No way men are hostile and angry - they are mad at their parents for their crappy childhood.

[@susanharrie3326]

❤😊😊

[@JonathonAslay]

Back at ya