When A Man Is USING YOU, He Will Say or Do These 7 Things

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If you are asking any of the following questions or searching for:
- Is he using you
- Why do men use women
- This means he's using you
- When a man falls in love with you
- Falling in love fast
- When a man over 40 falls in love
- Things to look for in men over 40
- Online dating
- Love Advice
- Love coach for women
- Dating advice
- Dating advice for women
- Dating expert
- Dating coach
- Dating coach for women
- Communicating with men
- Understanding men
- Relationship coach
and more; well, I believe this dating advice for women video will give you the clarity you need.

[@JonathonAslay]

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching

[@rachelbailey52]

80% are wankers too.

[@ericrc100]

Ben in an LDR for the last 30 days. Started out on fire until the last few days. Text have been one liners over 24-36 hr intervals. I think maybe we are on the way out.

[@JonathonAslay]

@@ericrc100 that could be the case...

[@donnersmom]

I met this wonderful man on eharmony. We are long distance, so we only saw each other a few times, but talked a great deal. He shared his past relationships about how bad these women were. He was good on all levels like youlisted. It made me fearful he would judge me too. He started breaking up with me over what seemed to be no reason. The first time he said it was because I had a roommate that started out as a love interest. He told me I lied about the relationship and hung up on me. The second time was something trivial too. Just recently he did it again saying he was entitled to an Explanation as to why I was taking meds for depression and anxiety. That bothered me! I'm so confused.

[@rissekeuren5821]

I'VE BEEN WITH A 100% USER FOR 6 YEARS, KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. IT TOOK SOME TIME, BUT NEVER AGAIN!!

[@milwaukeemotor5995]

"texting is the weakest form of communication" excellent point

[@jmallett6081]

Being alone is not the worst thing in life. We are born alone and we die alone. Learning to love yourself will save you years of suffering. Con men will say how much they love you, abusers are a reality, weak and entitled men are plentiful. It is difficult to find a man who knows your true value. Truth be told, women are the first and last form of slavery. You are your only hope for a hero. Be true to yourself and be brave.

[@stephaniepersin4222]

Kick in even if you were married the female usually dies last so you’re alone eventually. Most of my late grandma friends were widows and joined senior citizens for companionship of other women, minus the sex. They seemed to be happy without a man.

[@artsylady3187]

being alone for me is TORTURE....but all the other stuff you said about slavery is true.....men still treat us like dirt.....my guys calls women FEMALES ....like lowers us to a biological thing....I don't know it is weird how they can justify how they treat us....

[@KarenSteelMusic]

Excellent post!

[@MeganKaylynn143]

I love this so much thank you for sharing. ❤️❤️❤️

[@jmallett6081]

@@MeganKaylynn143 Thank you. Always be true to yourself without hurting others. Love comes from within and then it expands so others can love. Just sitting next to someone can mean something without words.

[@lk4871]

When you get to a certain age you don’t have time to waste time. I agree

[@lindatallon9217]

The world will never be the same..good people get shit on..evil people are winning...I don't even want to leave the house.

[@annemarie8668]

Exactly

[@patsmith6083]

True Dat

[@chrisv.4071]

I have to agree with you

[@lisacoleman7108]

Evil is Not winning. Keep the Faith!

[@patsmith6083]

@@lisacoleman7108 always keep 💯 the faith 🙏 ♥️

[@DMills-un1tl]

I learned this 10 years ago. I don’t sleep with someone outside of marriage and was turning 50 so, after doing the math, there simply wasn’t good odds of finding a man who didn’t have an agenda and was a truly good man. I immediately stopped dating, began investing that time in myself and animal rescue and have never looked back and never been lonely.

[@judithgrace9850]

Smart and intelligent.

[@JimBrennan-no7yz]

Atta Girl !!

[@roxanne6340]

Good for you. Great 👍 choice. If I wasn't with a great guy who also into rescue I would be doing exactly the same.

[@silverjaro66]

My future life

[@victoriaaletaaustria2817]

There were several marriage proposals and I remained chaste in my life for the man I'd marry. But maybe my parameters are high or I simply lose interest when I see something not to my upbringing values. I'm retired now but contented in my single blessedness, well-provided by God, and has enjoyed my various overseas trips and helped my family while still working.

[@-cMc-]

Being used by someone is definitely cruel

[@donnaatienza8001]

It sure is and it happens way too often.

[@wendyhannan2454]

100% true

[@hestergreen2031]

Yes it is

[@marieazrak1951]

Especially if the person has a disability

[@marieazrak1951]

I’m a grower and builder dating wise

[@isabellenez-tovar803]

Lots of men want sexual exclusivity...but still don’t want commitment

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@KarenSteelMusic]

I fell into this- when he asked me to be his girlfriend, and be exclusive with me- that equaled commitment. He said I want someone to be vulnerable with-sounded honest to me. I began to invest in him! Turns out he isn’t capable and is codependent! It took me down emotionally. He wanted sex all the time and eventually broke up with me while saying “our chemistry” is off the charts. Crazy making esp because I was hooked. This was off and on for 3 1/2 years. 😮😢

[@juliaskagfjord6207]

@@KarenSteelMusic I have had my heart broken over similar misunderstanding. This is why what Jonathan says is so pertinent. We need to keep asking the hard questions. Is his idea of commitment the same as ours. Otherwise its so easy to get mislead

[@KarenSteelMusic]

I was easily manipulated bc the guy knew how to play a woman well, especially a vulnerable and a bit naive one

[@KarenSteelMusic]

@@juliaskagfjord6207 - exactly! Thanks for your reply👌

[@mielcat]

I’m done with relationships. Was with a user, abuser, narcissist and it cost me a lot. I had to move 1400 miles away and am developing a nice life for myself. ❤️

[@HisaLight2mypath]

I'm sorry.

[@sharonjosephs7603]

Hush dear I can just imagine how broken you were....

[@yvettemoreel4237]

I think I will stick to building my life back and enjoy what makes me happy. No more pleasing someone else.Its time to b selfish

[@annegrenawalt9876]

It's not being selfish....it's your right to do self care!!!

[@sherriflemming3218]

It's healthy selfishness

[@chanichanti4241]

Ive been thru these types....Im tired...I don't want to waste time anymore. I love to just be by myself and just relax

[@marilynnorth4281]

Cultivating self love and being aware of your worth and value protects you against those whose only intentions are to take advantage.

[@donnaatienza8001]

I feel the same way

[@annarichardson8284]

@@donnaatienza8001 I feel the same way as all of you. It's depressing and exhausting. I can't believe I was that stupid but I was.

[@mariec5716]

The other day i basically told a fool, that he keeps doing what he does, and ended with, keep on keeping on, Good Luck to You...i thought he s a big slow, he knows nothing about what is Important. How do these people get in higher places? The world is mad and Madder, that is the Best Explanation I Have...far out thank God, for the Digitial Age.

[@kaycollins7684]

Just love yourself girl!

[@PortOrangeMom]

Not a protector… this hit home! My former fiancé and I were at a destination wedding. We went on a boat tour and he never helped me on or off the boat. The young man who did turned to me and said, Please remember that your man did not help you. I do this all day and that means something.” Another time when he was visiting me, I mentioned that I would really appreciate if he could help me with pulling weeds. My kids were little. I had no help. He told me to hire someone. Meanwhile, I had cleaned his entire house when I visited him some weeks before. I also had an operation when I was with him. He couldn’t be with me and told me to have my Mom or Dad take me. He sent flowers but he couldn’t be counted on to help in any way. Glad I never married him.

[@katc6823]

Wow scary how little people care. Thank you for sharing.

[@mariapearce8617]

That's awful !!!

[@mariapearce8617]

They can future fake you too! Ive had it done to me !

[@carolrucker4563]

@mariapearce8617 What do you mean by "future fake you"?

[@stars-are-us]

​@@carolrucker4563pretend you have a future together but you are really a place holder or have resources they can use. If someone has more resources or look better or give more narcissistic supply than the promises of a future together that hooked you doesn't exist.

[@penny180]

1. Leads with sex / only interested in sex. 2. Doesn't open up to you. 3. Doesn't ask about you, after initial hunt phase. 4. He doesn't protect you. 5. You've never met their family or friends. 6. Doesn't go out of his was for you. 7. He puts off being exclusive & avoids convos about the future.

[@sherriflemming3218]

💯. It's a great summary. Penny

[@KCruz7]

A woman can take a page 📄 out of his play book as well.

[@Its_Renee_]

Sounds narcissistic too..

[@flapper883]

Thx That summed it up nicely. I agree with all 7.

[@user-vh1qg1fd1h]

You're on point with every valid reason

[@bugoutadventures]

I'm a firm believer in full commitment first 😊. Sexual intimacy is precious and NOT to be taken casually 😊.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

True. It will only hurt afterwards. It made me more vulnerable and sensitive.

[@trina3339]

He opened up to me, cried on my shoulder about his ex, was interested in my life, introduced me to family and friends, he did everything, because I was helping him out financially, I was his back up bank account. He has mastered the art of using people so much, he spent 4.5yrs using me,he did put off conversation about the future, he said he wasn’t ready and he didn’t know how to love anyone, but he was willing to try, he ended up throwing me aside, ghosted me like I was a dirty rag, I have never experienced this before, always heard women talk about it, but this is the worst thing any human could ever do to another

[@jeanneMN]

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

[@elizabethbarringer2791]

Same thing happened to me only I was in the relationship for 19 years. And he had the audacity to say that I wasted his time.

[@exoterick333]

I hope you find happiness and love yourself so unconditionally and stay positive, think positive, speak positive. People can be so awful. Don't allow their trauma, using you, etc.... to cling to you. Shake that stuff off and get busy loving yourself. I'm reminding myself to do the same. Wishing you all the best Trina. You know you deserve better. 💖

[@trina3339]

@@exoterick333 it’s been so difficult, but I’m trying. Thanks for your encouragement.

[@trina3339]

@@elizabethbarringer2791 I’m so sorry.

[@rachelkennedy2405]

I stupidly spent 3 1/2 years in a long distance (2 hrs away)with a man like this after my divorce. Broke up multiple times because the relationship never progressed and he would always come back promising change and I would give another chance. Your videos have been spot on. He had no friends. He was a spender never went deep. Thank you. Wish I wouldn’t have wasted this time.

[@JonathonAslay]

Happy to help...

[@ms.ednapost]

🤷🏽‍♀️Been there…did that. Lesson learned and when we know better, we do better😉

[@claudieC.]

Happened to me too. What a waste. But I learned my lesson and I won't get involved with a self obsorbed and selfish person, and emotionally constipated like Johnathan says Lol

[@streaming5332]

@@claudieC. waste

[@lindalin5998]

Many of us. I beleievex that someone would come who I barely know afrer 2 sweet fake messages

[@kathrynlayfield9599]

I wasted three years in my fifties with a guy who never talked about our future. But he said, I love you every day! I stupidly held on. Then one day he just never called again. I was crushed and I shut myself off from all men. I blamed myself, but he was the real cripple.

[@barbaraalden6013]

His loss sweet one!!! 😊

[@artsylady3187]

i am so sorry to hear that....been with my user for 2 years now.....scared to let go ....rather be used than ignored I guess....

[@artsylady3187]

update we are over now...uggg he just blocked me ....I was nothing to him....just a free sex worker to him...ugggg heart broken not sure where to go from here

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

That's just horrible, they can be cruel. It's plain abuse and it means he had no conciounce / scrupules at all.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

​@@artsylady3187Hope you're feeling better today. Some men are worthless and sadly will make feel precious women feel worthless but you are worthy of respect and genuine care in return. I.always believe it for others more than myself....

[@marcycat]

Pursuing men is not a good idea. If he's pursing me, I ask him straight up what he wants.

[@-cMc-]

Spenders: they want to spend your time and energy but no commitment. On the surface they look like they have potential

[@concernedcitizen4031]

Being single most of my life I found it to be a lot less complicated than being married. It's not for everybody.

[@-cMc-]

We can all use more love in our lives

[@heidimisfeldt5685]

Love, true love, yes. Friendship, true faithful friendship, yes. But being used for sex outside of marriage, absolutely NOT.

[@rayneehurd8745]

And a lot of time that's friends only

[@ninamc6116]

I could write a book on this from my last “relationship”, although I think my ex husband did too. Don’t let yourself be used. See the red flags, set boundaries & get out before you invest emotionally. Take it from an older woman who learned the hard way 🙏🌈

[@Sagittarius12-2-77]

Me 2. ❤ I was used by my husband he was a abusive person. I thought I could change him. But I guess drugs took over

[@mariec5716]

Hi. Relationships are akways risky. Its qctually luck of rhe draw. Once peiple stayed together because there was no other choice?

[@joansheekey476]

There are good men but finding them is another thing a wast off yur life trying

[@mariec5716]

@@joansheekey476 hi. I am with you. It will take to long, its better to live your life your way. I have done this since; my late twenties.i dressed lovely and nicer accessories. I came and went and travelled my way. I saved a lot of money, and now i live amazingly well. Girls that thought, they had it all figured out relationally, are thinking???...life is strange because it seems it works out the opposite, to how you planned, for sure. Cheers...

[@DC-cv9ch]

​@@joansheekey476I so agree. It's like a needle in a haystack and a huge amount of time trying. I'm happy not wasting that time and enjoying my own company.

[@rachelbailey52]

A man who's a grower and builder will want to financially & emotionally support his woman who he's invested so much time on. He will want to look after her and make her happy. A user and spender will use a woman while ever the conditions are ok for the user then once he wants out, he will pull back and make arguments over nothing. His aim will be wanting to get rid of the woman before cutting her off and moving on. That's when his mask falls off. He decided along time ago he wasn't in this for commitment, that's why things never progressed.

[@marilynnorth4281]

And, this is why, my beautiful, sweet kitties are my constant and faithful companions 😽😽😽😽💋💋💋💋

[@sherriflemming3218]

Well said Rachel.

[@user-qv7vi2ls6j]

True♡

[@vesnabjelanovic6595]

I'm so happy to say that, according to your list, my partner ticked all the boxes. We were in a real sense soul mates. Unfortunately, he passed away only 10 weeks ago and I miss him so much, it's unbearable. He was truly everything I'd ever wanted in a man. We were so lucky to have met each other and had a great time together. Now that he is no longer with us, I found out from all our friends the testimonies and things he said to them about me. All of these things were so lovely. He told everyone all the best about me.

[@vesnabjelanovic6595]

Hi! I love your video and I'm glad somebody here is talking openly on this topic. After being in such a great relationship, I don't believe I'll ever be able to replace him. At the same time, I don't want to stay on my own for the rest of my life.

[@janpolo799]

A widow from the man of my dreams here. It took me a good 15 years to become a whole individual again. Don’t rush it. You will feel lonely at times and you should seek company but don’t rush loving again. Get strong as an individual first and give yourself the time needed to grieve.

[@louiseclark7967]

Oh, honey...what a lovely man...God bless you with strength, courage, and joy.

[@claresutton2819]

You must feel so heartbroken, Vesna. What a beautiful man he must have been. I am so sorry for your loss. You must be in such grief. Big hugs from Australia. One step at a time. Remember to care for yourself. Your lovely partner would want to know that you are okay, surely...xoxo

[@lindajackson2382]

I had a wonderful marriage like that TOO with my soulmate who died 17 years ago! It TOO was unbearable for me. I had to attend a grief group for 6 weeks after my late husband's death.

[@reginawoess4928]

Actions speak louder then words and I will never again not focus enough on the actions!

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

In my case he said he was more about actions than words but never called and rarily text. Did text to meet up though. Very confusing. He called me twice in the 4 months. I never called him bc I felt like not disturbing😊. So weirdm why do I feel that. Not equal. Also, many men want tp visit you but won't invite you in their house. I also feel that men abuse the word 'different expectations' to have an easy excuse to not be accountable for other's feelings. Basic respect by reasonable response time for example.

[@AngelaJemison]

You are a true blessing from the Lord! God's timing is always perfect!! My boyfriend showed his but and walked out in anger 3-12-23. Today is Easter, 4-9-23. Then today out of the blue, he text me. He continued texting to re-establish communication. I was so happy. Then I just happen to see your show. I hadn't ever seen it before. Your show taught me a lot. It taught me not to play the idiot. Actually it didn't teach me anything. I already knew all of it, but was refusing to face the truth. Thank you and thank the Lord!!! Angela J.

[@lynncoop4022]

I know my value❤ I walked😢 Painful but it was worthitt & I feel great about my self & my life. His loss✌🏼

[@user-dt3wm8rn4j]

I had a fear of being alone, dying alone. Not so much anymore❤. I'll use myself. I'm good.

[@Hudson1910]

I’ve been without relationship for over twenty years and am FINE. I’m not able to retire and still working but at least I don’t have to put up with dumb stuff.

[@liz8984]

I felt after 2 months I was being played.... I made it perfectly clear what I was looking for & just kept saying he's on the same page, but, unfortunately I wasted another 6 months before I smartened up.... caught him with another female Valentine 's Day evening , after he lied & told me he was working late .... he then stated she was his ex-girlfriend ... so glad to find out the truth! but it was a valuable & painful lesson. Just as you stated he would only text, never met his family & friends... Wished I saw this a year ago.. Thank you Jonathan!

[@Tea-toddler]

This is why I insist on friendship first so I can feel them out through their speech, thoughts and responses. If I like what I hear then I go forward, if not then that’s it.

[@nicolecarnevale3226]

I totally understand. Friendship allows you both to get to know each other on a more profound level. I never take it to a sexual place until we decide to take it to a romantic level.

[@jeanlop3165]

Not the “talk” but their walk

[@carenlzarate8603]

Been vulnerable with a narc is like giving a gun to your enemy.. Besides he doesn't even care about what I can say. I just share and said ery minimum

[@veltareentulloch6683]

I agree with you I am married to a Narcissist .When I took a stand and refused to be used He filed for divorce Frankly I am relieved.

[@francesstevens3674]

Thank you! I was meant to hear this today! The guy in my life told me right from the start ( 6 years ago!) He didn't want a committed relationship. It's my fault for wasting my time. He's definitely a Spender! It's time to say "thank you, next!"

[@artsylady3187]

are you still with him....my heart is broken by my guy and yes we do think we can change their hearts but maybe we can't.....I tried so hard ....2.5 years of loving him .....down the drain..I am too old for this crap

[@m.hauks.6939]

❤meant 2hear this 2day lol lifevis funny like thzt

[@veevee111]

I learned late in life and after 2 narcissistic ex-husbands, to be sure to find out what his relationship with his mother is like because he will treat you and relate to you the same way he does with her. Wish I'd known this sooner they would have never become more than an acquaintance, if that.

[@jnorway7295]

I'm 65+, and like you, had 2 narcassistic husbands. Looking back, both men rarely spoke of their mother's when we dated AND after we married. I met both ladies, liked them & watched the interactions between moms & sons: both men were distant with their mom's, never hugged them, rarely spoke WITH them in person & never called their moms on the phone. I did the calling. That was NOT alright with me! Why did they act like that? They thought it was normal & shrugged it off. Looking back, both my EX-husbands had no close relationship with my mom either & I hated that. Both were engineers, selfish & narcassists. I learned my lesson & oh boy, I wish I had paid attention to the signs 40 years earlier 😔! TG I never had children & it was because neither husband would've been loving or supportive of a child.

[@veevee111]

@@jnorway7295 I'm sorry you went through it as well.

[@heather4089]

Be careful, a mamas boy can have a narcissistic relationship with his mom, it might look like a great relationship but is not.

[@Daniela6934]

​@@heather4089Been there. She was in another town but phoned in everyday at the same time, plus some other times to ask for favours (and his dad is alive, they have a social circle and all), and he had never introduced any woman to her. It took me a while to figure it out because of the distance, bottom line was my birthday, he didn't make any plans to celebrate it with me because she was conveniently in town that week (not even sure about that now). He broke up with me that day because I was "making up things." Csme back 8 months later saying that that was too long ago, who cared? The audacity.

[@lmusima3275]

I haven’t been in relationship or dated for years. One of the things I won’t be doing anymore is relying on texting 💬. I don’t have social media anymore. Most of the points you mentioned are what I experienced

[@DavidVelasquez9]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@DailamiPuang]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

[@DavidVelasquez9]

@@DailamiPuang Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@DailamiPuang]

@@DavidVelasquez9 Her name is Sylvia Regina White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@DavidVelasquez9]

@@DailamiPuang Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@JonathonAslay]

Sorry to hear that... take time to heal and thank you for sharing 🙏

[@Sherri_Speaks]

I met a guy online. We never met in person. He was not for me and I let him go and blocked 🚫 him a month ago.👏🏾glad I did. You are confirming my intuition was 🎯.

[@luwaneharris3322]

Dated a guy 30 days who wanted commitment the first date. I walked into his apartment and felt sick. My intuition was spot on. A woman's name came up on the car phone. I pressed him and he lied and lied. He broke up the following Tuesday. User? Narcissistic? BPD?

[@terrietornio9647]

It sometimes takes someone else to tell me what I already know. Thank you 😣

[@deborahheyward2302]

Thankyou for your insight. I am 75 although I look 65 and in a new relationship and he's 63. Just to let you know your words of wisdom is encouraging. Things are going well.

[@JonathonAslay]

Great to hear...

[@franciekirchoff546]

73 here also looks younger will be on dating sites soon.

[@carolmiles7474]

Be careful xxx

[@franciekirchoff546]

73 lookin younger thinking of dating sites. Any recommendations?

[@artsylady3187]

@@franciekirchoff546 just don't do it...that is my advice

[@ruthreed8192]

I have been married 30 years and you are hitting the nail on the head and how some women are blind is beyond me but many need to hear this.

[@melaniebailiffmusic]

You are an awesome coach! I have purchased a lot of the books you've suggested. Your videos have helped me chose the right man for me.I was seeing a "spender" for 3 1/2 yrs and putting off a grower and builder who was showing me he wanted a real relationship with me. Your videos helped me pick the grower as I do love him and I've never looked back since! Thanks! P.S. The grower and builder, David was the one who was always there for me, even through 2 surgeries, taking care of me through recovery.

[@JonathonAslay]

I appreciate that!

[@nahidgray5811]

I love your videos. By watching this video , I realize that my boyfriend is user and non committed. He refuses to talk about our relationship. It’s been 1.5 years since we’ve met. I like to get married. He only makes time for quick dinner and sex. He doesn’t share interest, hobbies, cooking, traveling, workouts and doesn’t show interest meeting each other family and friends. I deserve to have a life partner and I want that. My husband passed away over 7 years ago. I’ve told him our sex is fantastic but that’s not enough in the relationship. I told him what’s in my mind and he doesn’t want to hear it. I’m ready to let him know that this relationship doesn’t work for me and I want to move on.

[@paulao7022]

Say good bye to him,.. Life is too short to be stuck with a man that isn't going to pan out anyway, in the long run!

[@katystarr3257]

The fact he doesn't want to hear what's on your mind says it all. Hasta la vista baby

[@MrGuitarman1945]

Run for your life. He will never change.

[@jnorway7295]

I totally agree with the others responding to you! You deserve better & if this guy hasn't shown you what you're looking for OR answered your questions you're asking...he NEVER will!! He's around for the sex only. You need a MUCH better man than just that.

[@artsylady3187]

@@paulao7022 we only have today and if you have GREAT SEX ...I would stay with it...

[@michelekurlan2580]

The protective instinct is so important. I've probably been involved with one or two men like that, one for sure, and the entire lack of protectiveness thing physically emotionally was a turnoff for me after a while. Ultimately viewed him as less than a man. Was also a player. No protective instinct, possibly for anyone(but himself)

[@sherriflemming3218]

Well said

[@artsylady3187]

my guy is the same....it is very sad they have no care for anyone else

[@vesnabjelanovic6595]

When women have sex, they get emotionally attached. I agree with the lady who said he is keeping her legs firmly shut until there are signs of commitment

[@cellostrings2522]

A broken clock is right twice a day - so true!! Thank you for your compassionate and honest advice.

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome!

[@mmommo10]

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN...NOBODY IS perfect

[@sherriflemming3218]

All humans have flaws and foibles. There is no unicorn or perfect person

[@milwaukeemotor5995]

"be careful about men who avoid personal questions about past"

[@malindateal14]

Thank you so much for all this advice. I really needed to hear it. I have recently cut this relationship off because he checked a lot of the boxes. I gave my heart away way too soon. Pay attention girls. This guy is accurate on everything he said.

[@JonathonAslay]

You got this!

[@elliebrowder4746]

Sure I get it

[@questiona7]

Me too, two years wasted

[@artsylady3187]

@@questiona7 me too...2.5 years loving a user....heart broken

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

I like learning from these videos, I'm single again, and life is so different. I'm working on myself taking a break from dating, and making new friendships, and practicing healthy boundaries. And in this deciding what do I want from a guy.

[@kerrysaunders1936]

I am soo with you there. Divorced from a Narcissist, 18years. Concentrating on myself. I have good friends. Who needs a man.

[@milwaukeemotor5995]

he texts you and vice versa, but doesn't answer back until the next day red flag

[@bessiejones5432]

I'm a widow,yet this one guy spoke about himself only, after nice lunch went my own way

[@ritagary3645]

Am I the only one who believes in no sex until in a committed relationship. A committed relationship is only possible in a emotionally mature relationship.

[@taratallison6000]

I am 70! Still dating ……haven’t met the one - after losing my husband 10 years ago tomorrow.

[@nancystinger7393]

I just turned 70 I met my husband in my twenties in a grocery store and we were married for 20 years.

[@artsylady3187]

what happened to him....did he die..??? have you been alone for 30 years ?????

[@sueannlopez6027]

My most sincerest condolences for you. I know your pain all too well, unfortunately. My youngest daughter passed away 11-1-21 from Covid difficulties. It will be 2 years next Wednesday 😢 but it still feels like yesterday to me. 😭😭 It hit me really hard. My body, heart and mind went into shock my doctor said. I lost 7 lbs in 10 days and quite a bit of my hair as well. I had already lost 77 lbs after my 3rd and last divorce and then I gained most of it back. I was alone for almost 15 yrs after being in 3 different emotionally and physically abusive marriages for a combined total of 16 yrs. I had to find myself again and what I liked, what I wanted, where I wanted to be NOT what I was TOLD. Then after all of those yrs alone along came my now fiance (the love of my life) when I least expected it!!! 😮

[@JonathonAslay]

🙏

[@louiseclark7967]

Hi Jonathon! First time seeing one of your videos...I am 62 and just retired in Feb....Met a guy who is 56 and was looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with, a partner and companion as well as a lover, and boy am I glad he chose me! I was done with relationships, but now I am looking forward to some good years of travel and adventure with a beautiful man! I highly recommend early retirement to everyone...at this point, we have earned some fun and relaxation, and I wanted to be able to enjoy it while I am still in pretty good shape. Great video!

[@mmafemi5559]

1. Seeing you for sex only 2. Doesn't open up to you 3. Doesn't ask about yourself ( past, present, future) 4. Doesn't protect ( emotionally especially) you 5. Never met family & friends 6. Doesn't go out of his way, for you. 7. He avoids conversations about future 5. 4.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@ersheri]

Isn’t that 90% of them out there?

[@juli-annb.anderson8816]

​@@ersheri yes... they have options, like greedy children who want it all, growing fat on complacency. Rejects with a hard on.

[@pinkelefant4ever]

The last six are all too familiar.

[@marilynnorth4281]

@@ersheri sadly, we have to kiss a lot of frogs 🐸 before we find our Prince 👑

[@marieazrak1951]

My condolences to you for the loss of your son

[@-cMc-]

"Does this person have my best interests at heart"

[@FlowerAcid]

I just broke off a relationship over a lot of those issues. I’ve kind of lost faith.

[@celiaescalante]

Depression is related to insomnia. Cure the insomnia and the depression can be regulated. Most importantly, having human warmth throughout the day and night is vital for metal health as long as the people are going to be kind and caring.

[@-cMc-]

There is a very small percentage of men that are actually growers and builders

[@nosilla2224]

Thank you for saying that it isn’t too late to find a companion at age 60. It has changed my perspective.

[@-cMc-]

Individuals that are self centric...lacking the ability to have some elses self interest at heart. Only their own. They demand win win situations. that always satisfie their own interest first and if you are their friend you must be satisfied too. If you think differently you get a target on your back or get tossed to the side.

[@monarene44]

I’m glad you found love again after divorce and the loss of a child. Everything you said in the video resonates more than anything I have ever read or heard on these dating/intimacy/relationship/trust issues, and especially the amount of time it takes to establish a level of trust, and all those clues at the outset giving clear indication it’s won’t play out well.

[@sassy.astrologist0]

I no longer allow men to use me thank you for sharing this information

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome

[@louisaklimentos7583]

You are so amazing with all your good advice that you give us and the fact that you still show so much love towards your son who passed away . God bless his soul !

[@JonathonAslay]

Much appreciated 🙏

[@alicejackson771]

Thank you so much for this! There's a therapist online who says the things you mention are things that women have to train men to do. He seemed to suggest that men have carte blanche to behave in any way they choose. What you say is reassuring - I agree with all of it!

[@Carol-ng3qi]

Great advice. We really have to do the research and listen to the signs as well as pros and cons. Don't waste time. Don't be afraid to move on.

[@moniqueaftertrucking]

How can a person say can we be in a relationship, when they know zero about you? Sounds like foolery to me, what you think?

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@natividadnazario1381]

My Recognition Award!!! Helping people think and Take decisions with the Brain and heart to achieve real Goals for a long term relationship. That means Sharing everything!!!!!!!!! Under silky white umbrella.

[@layde1]

Very, very valuable advice about not wasting time with someone who is not wholly into you. There are still years ahead to make a new future with someone else. Comforting to know that.

[@dagmarmarionkidwell-to9ub]

Thank u, u have confirmed what I already knew. I have wasted a good portion of my life on allowing men to use me. I'm 78 now and longer care. So of course now their interested, lol. I'm so so sorry about ur son,it's very heartbreaking when a child passes. My grandson passed many years ago.

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome

[@marybrewer739]

Yes You are keeping real! I have made all the mistakes. Years ago the book “He’s Just Not that Into You” really woke me up like your video. Then twenty years later I fell into the same Rabbit Hole. Thank you for your video. We all need an initiation and/or a refresher course .

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@Tracielovingmylifetarot]

Yes That's a Big Sign When He is Not a Protector I look for that first along with Communication Respect Understanding Loyal Sincere Honest and Open and Spiritually Lead

[@AnnaMukhwana-pf4qr]

Its my 1st time to see your page i must confess ..thi one was destined for me ..i have never had time to love myself ..always my men came first and i have just realised they all used me ..even the present one is also into same business ....thanks for the lesson learnt ..am dropping all

[@ellenorchid66]

I found this video by luck - EXCELLENT content - extremely helpful to women who are seeking the real thing. Thank you, Jonathon . You're making a real difference here!

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@user-xk4wj6ge5b]

My sister was led on by an unscrupulous devious man 10 years her senior.

[@DC-cv9ch]

Love your advice, great advice for women still looking. So, sorry for the loss of your son. God Bless you. So happy you found your sweetheart.

[@ttvbucko908_5]

Yes this was really good. I will talk more about my situation another time. But I like the way you categorised different relationship styles and basically differentiate different types.

[@imalimabean6686]

It's physical protection as well as emotional for me

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@MariaHernandez-cr7cs]

First time visiting this channel. I’m beyond myself as you have described my Ex. I was with him for close to 20 years and not once did I meet his friends. I’m so happy now. And I’m more selective about who I spend my time with. Thank you ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome

[@dcphifer4307]

Thank you Jonathan for this review. I am still healing after a serious accident and have been thinking about going out. At my age, just thinking starting to date is a bit scary. Thanks for these points.

[@Lynny1651]

Jonathan, love your coaching , you are so spot on, I needed to hear these 7 answers to identify if a man is using you, I’m clear now about this guy I really like

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@marykellyclifton7930]

This is, by far, your best one so far! Thank you, Jonathan!

[@JonathonAslay]

WOW! Thank you. Can you share this video with friends?

[@pranitapeper8491]

As women and mother’s aunty’s share this with a young women in your life, so accurate, I experienced so much of this with my ex- husband and while dating many of the things mentioned here. So sad for me 21 years ugh

[@annekearns6658]

So sorry for the loss of your son. I just subscribed to your channel. Love at first sight. You have so much clarity for me. Thank y you.❤

[@JonathonAslay]

Awe... thank you 😊

[@nhouston7]

Words of wisdom...genuine gems dropped. Thank you!!!

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks ☺️

[@normarodriguez5535]

Sending distant healing to Marie and speedy recovery!! Thanx Jonathon as usual u crack me up!💖

[@JonathonAslay]

Much appreciated

[@marilynlandis4808]

I was married 36 years. Trust eventually disappeared!

[@cynthiamedina6350]

You definitely helped me. All you said confirmed what I knew. You saying it made it so real and so obvious I r know all along men use me. Thank you so much you help people you don't even know and needed someone to confirm what you knew. Thank you so much. Bless you! 🙏

[@carenlzarate8603]

Married a Narc, is been a very difficult journey, verbally, financially, emotionally and all ways of abuse. I gave all my good good side is lost now and he is being demanding about starting over like his unfaithfulness for 3+ years, the way he treated me to enjoy his mistress. And I needbto heal. Yet he is ready now and ia should be just like I was at the beginning.. Nope my gut is not trusting none of this iam ready. I will get alot of $$$ you be fine. I don't even care about that. Knowing I be struggling if we split. I just want peace and recover my essence my good loving and serving self. Now is a burden. Just sharing my piece of story

[@tracyhull7936]

Put yourself first and go from there just do it far away from him

[@laureldell7377]

I agree with you on everything. It's difficult to hear when you don't want to start over with someone new, it takes so long to learn their flaws/secrets. I'm dysfunctional in my own way, chronic illness and all that it entails. I have social anxiety too. I'm doomed...lol

[@rosemantonucci-hy7vu]

No you’re not.Someone is out there waiting for you.

[@lenoreriechlin6178]

Yes every word from your mouth rings true . Thanks for the seven things about what men and women should see about relationships.

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome

[@norahglavin5226]

With all men that are out there i feel that there mother is to blame for them treating women the way they do,, they got that teaching from there Mother You better not bring a woman into this house until I die or you will not get inheritance and by the time the old person dies they can not find a wife . Or she will say she is not good enough for you or she will destroy the good name---and the girl is wondering what good name,, run run and do not look back

[@alzoom7219]

Thank you for making these comments, because I was married 20+ years and Divorced. Now considering not to get into a relationship again.

[@louise4660]

Thank YOU ☀️ FOR THIS POWERFUL MESSAGE BLESSINGS MIRACLES 4 YOU.☀️☀️☀️☀️🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊

[@marciasloan534]

LEAN IN OR LEAVE

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes...

[@orionengel9324]

In my 20ies I was a kind of addicted getting used.I couldnt choose healthy. Then affairs went over and now I understand your video!I am carefully like an agent,but that offends some people. More than asking questions sometimes.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing

[@kathleen4611]

That's so awesome because when a player says it's strictly Friends with Benefits that's just what he means or she means nothing more so you're right it's back in the lap of the person who signed up for that.