Jordan Peterson - Be The Reliable Person at a Funeral

[@JohnMcQuarter77]

Today was my father´s funeral. I held the speech, I was solid as a rock for my sister and my mother. I carried my fathers urn from the church to the cemetery and was the one to rely on when everybody else was in tears. It cost me all my will power and energy, but now the day has passed and I´m proud of myself - and I know my beloved Dad would be as well. This was the last thing I could do for him. Mr Peterson this was the best advice I got in a long time, thank you so much for your wisdom from the other side of the planet and I wish you a fast recovery from the pain you suffer yourself.

[@YeahBass3k]

Good job my man. May your dad rest in peace

[@diegocatellani6747]

Good job man, my grandfather has passed away today and after hours of thinking I've came to the conclusion I have to be solid and someone to rely on for my family, I wish you and your family all the best

[@kushkingla7385]

My father died over the weekend. I have listened many times.

[@a.g.j.potman4367]

Damn, this just reminds me of how many people have gone trough this. And at the moment I am the rock, cried only on the day before he died, when I was alone with him. Rest of the time held everyone’s hand. And helped as I could, tommorow a speech 🤞 I think hè would be proud of me at 19 years old

[@JohnMcQuarter77]

@@a.g.j.potman4367 I wish you all the best brother, your Dad would be proud of you. Some days ago 2 years have passed and still I´m proud for beeing strong at this day- This was everything you could do for him on this day and I salute you for your courage.

[@o_-_o]

Bed: Made Dad: Saved Self: Sorted (Roughly speaking)

[@ericsuh620]

From a scientific point of view

[@jcnot9712]

o hotel: trivago

[@gian2kk]

To some degree, i suggest

[@jaredmason7755]

But did you clean your room

[@alexandreparent5754]

@Lorem Ipsum Got me on this one x)

[@seandoyle5905]

A few hours ago I found out my father died 2 weeks ago at home, alone and has only just been found. I am currently deployed overseas. Have been a follower of Dr Peterson for 2 years now. Came straight to this video. I needed this.

[@Sneakysnek69]

This guy is one of the main influences on my life. Helped me more than my father as far as psychologically.

[@andrewshewan4551]

Sounds like some one needs to save their father from the underworld, and give him an eye

[@Ebvardh]

Same here. Then again, fruit flies could've helped me more than my nonexistent father and my piece of shit stepdad.

[@What_was_wrong_w_jst_our_names]

You sure about that?

[@LionHGH]

Perhaps Jordan is more educated on the topic of psychology lol

[@randommusings6425]

I was fortunate enough to have a father like him, who had an IQ of 165. I sat at his feet ( quite literally as a child) as if we were Socrates and Plato. This was before the internet, but he knew everything from science to psychology and literature. I credit him with 80% of what I know. Men !ike this are very rare though. He diec before my son was old enough to know him, but I find myself filling this same role with my teen son who comes into my room to ask me about physics, and existential questions and I am doing my best. I am no w here near my father though, being only around 150.

[@ehsan74827]

today i heard that my father has cancer. i cant even wrap my head around what is happening. but i am gonna try to be strong and dependable .

[@kingbyrd.1512]

Good luck man

[@germanulrich]

ehsan74827 Best of luck to you.

[@3v3ry1]

That’s really hard, he’s gonna need someone who is a rock

[@danielkoki3539]

Be positive but at the same time predict the worst case scenario for you to be ready for it

[@joycox4305]

My mom died of cancer in October...be the rock that everyone can depend on...be courageous...be the reliable one....you will look back and be proud of your courage

[@richspizzaparty]

Coffee with Jordan Peterson on Monday morning,, my favorite way to start the week.

[@o_-_o]

And any of his speeches makes me more vivid than any amount of coffee.

[@DuncanL7979]

LOL Thomas, that was a good one.

[@celinahosp758]

Thomas Foley Well played sir

[@winchesterwilco237]

Smoothie with him now in 2019

[@davidday866]

Coffee at 130 am. A coffee beaker with some old coffee from my car. Just got home from a day burying my mother my best friend my creator. I tried to watch this before her funeral I did not get that chance. I’m watching it now. I made it

[@claudioortiz5830]

On my way to my brother's funeral, I listen to this. Thank you Mr. Peterson, from the bottom of my heart.

[@bristow4784]

In the same boat, I'm ready to create the peace amidst chaos.

[@claudioortiz5830]

@Nick Christiansen Thank you very much Nick.

[@claudioortiz5830]

@@bristow4784 Praying for you my friend.

[@pacnite]

I love this man so much. Like a father figure.

[@slappy8941]

David He would clean his room, sort himself out, integrate his shadow, slay the dragon, and rescue his father.

[@jehkjshrfk]

David stop looking for a leader and be your own man

[@o_-_o]

WWJBPSTM bracelet for everyone What would Jordan B. Peterson say to me

[@pacnite]

drlisp123 You naughty girl

[@kanupatel5003]

jehkjshrfk yea true but we all need mentors and role models.

[@forrest8507]

My father's funeral was last Thursday, stood up with my shoulders back, and was strong for my family. Thankyou Dr Peterson

[@1BLiViON1]

His point about being the reliable one at the funeral is a damn good one. The difficulty with being the reliable one is that when everyone is falling apart at the funeral and you are standing relatively stable in comparison, it is often the case the the family then scapegoats their problems onto you. Sometimes it's the case that they see you as the outsider and not willing to/capable of mourning with them. Perhaps you didn't love the person dying enough, and that's why you're not falling apart. Or perhaps you don't love the family enough, which is why you are not falling apart with them. The problem with being the strong person is that the strength can become perceived as threatening of the established family dynamic. Families are complicated, man.

[@mondopinion3777]

Joe Van, you are so right. I have lived it all. Thanks for you excellent, penetrating description. .

[@jhssuthrnmama]

Yep. Too bad. It shows their weakness. Love them anyway. You're weak in some other way. It's fine. Be the reliable one.

[@theweirick]

Joe Van Just said that to one of my close friends. I was proud that I was that. It wasn’t easy, but in retrospect, I had to do it.

[@christinehaylock8428]

Hm. My experience was a little different. I inherited my dad's ability to keep shit together when the world falls apart, while still being emotional and articulate. That doesn't mean that I didn't express some humanity when he died - fuck, it has been catastrophic for me; he was my favourite human. But I was the one who wrote the eulogy, obituary, thank-you notes... and I was so very honoured to be the one to put it all into words, take up his legacy, and be useful. THAT BEING SAID. What I did learn about families and mourning: you can't do it together. Don't expect anyone who is grieving to be able to help you with your grief. Go to your spouse (and if you're lucky like me, they know how "to family"). A friend. You'll find gems in the most unexpected places. Your grieving family member has nothing left to give you right now; what you need, they don't have. Give grace and space. Be gentle and solve problems.

[@natedoherty3462]

Sorry to hear that. My family, despite all our differences and quirks, my family was gracious to each other when my sister passed away suddenly.

[@PujashreeSharma]

Ending the day listening to Peterson on the bed. Perfect material to sleep on and think over.

[@feralmode]

Dan Levitan some people will masturbate to anything

[@Northernliiights]

Impossible for me to sleep after listening to Jordan, i can only sleep when i think about a hollow darkness, and my brain is full of thoughts after listening.

[@BlaDeKke]

Well man, my dad, is going to pass this friday. And this just keeps me going.

[@Bakfietsbakfietsbakfiets]

Sorry man, my condolences...

[@drunkenrampage1588]

I'll put the "fun" in funeral.

[@fab1qaz]

Brilliant!

[@simonkoeman3310]

DJ Fox and I'll correct you are grammar.

[@djfox3804]

Simon Koeman thx

[@MrJesvi]

lol

[@smoochypooh7700]

DrunkenRampage I'll be right there with ya!

[@kathleenh3104]

There is nothing as wonderful as finding the balance between order and chaos and learning to live there.

[@slappy8941]

Kat That's literally nirvana.

[@jangojebo2542]

I watch these before bed and if I wake up the things that go through my head are like, "You're carrying the load. You are a useful human. You have responsibilities."

[@phoeniciandiaspora4584]

Jango Jebo yeah it gives me some kind of strange confidence

[@3v3ry1]

Yea me too

[@lorengostyinin5260]

It is a very good way to wake up early as well

[@KedaiNasi]

A close person to me has been showing signs of sickness and is aging, and I am preparing myself mentally. Thank you.

[@allybally0021]

It helps.

[@margielapresle8049]

The world is definitely blessed to have dr. Peterson here in it with his endless wisdom. His true compassion for mankind. I feel blessed to have come across him and his solid wisdom 🙏

[@jorgerodriguera6890]

My dad just passed away yesterday and i just kept thinking about being the strongest person present so people could rely on me and im just incredibly grateful for this lesson, im so grateful that even if it was immensely tragic i did not make it hell and i managed to fulfill one of my dad's last wishes amidst the chaos and sadness I have no words to say thank you to this man for teaching me something that got me through the hardest and saddest 6 weeks of my life.

[@akathesk]

Seen alot of intellectuals out there worth watching on KZbin, but this guy? Seems the most wise, noble, humble and the least like a sell out. Wish I knew more people of his caliber, not only because it would be great to spend time talking with any of them, but because the world needs them right now, possibly more now than ever.

[@carlosfonseca143]

SKay look up jocko willink, he has a lot of magnificent advice.

[@Sebastian_Gecko]

Join the effective altruism community.

[@phillipmichalowski]

Thank you, Bite Sized Philosophy, for posting these videos. It's difficult to show other people the wisdom held within JBP's 2+ hour lectures. This can be intimidating for people at first glance, and I've found that they're much more likely to watch a more trimly cut and focused video such as the ones on your channel than an entire analysis of a broad topic... So it's great that a bridge like this exists for people stepping into these ideas.

[@aorusaki]

good point, mate

[@DirtBikes_MathGarden]

Phillip Michalowski I'm similarly thankful for those who cut Terence McKenna lectures into manageable pieces. Hell, a 20 minute lecture is much easier to confront than a 2+ hour speech.

[@nathanfield7733]

He's an absolute legend. Im thankful for his existence.

[@szkokee]

My mother passed away two days ago on 10/03/2019. Everything he says its true, people need you, family members and friends and you to show them a good example, not to crack under the pressure its totally possible so they can get through their misery more easy. But its important not to opress the feelings. Let them out when you are alone otherwise they will affect your mind and body. Also important to talk about your feelings and what you go through to these people so they can understand you and how you manage all this. Also to prove them they can turn to you whenever they need. Its indeed an opportunity to mature and not just for you. It will be a long and possibly a neverending learning curve as probably i will miss her more days, weeks, months, years later. Once i dont do stuff we usually did together or dont celebrate holidays together anymore. The void will be there for sure. But i think its also important to practice some of the habbits (anything) you did together what you liked to do. So to keep their memory alive. Ie: cooking the usual meal for Sunday lunch she used to make, watching your favourite show. Do something on a weekly but at least monthly basis. Anything. Also writing and talking to them is okay, its not comfortable but okay and probably youll cry which is the point to live the emotions

[@trentbosnic]

My Mom was diagnosed with ALS this week and given a 2 year prognosis. She raised me by herself with no father figure in sight. Life really is suffering. Videos like this are really helping me to be the only dependable person in her life right now.

[@RonniePuertoRico]

My dad just passed away 3 weeks ago from sepsis because of bed sores that started from a long 5 year battle with Vascular Dementia and markers of ALS. He died in my arms after 140 days where I cared from hospital day and night after working 12 hours a day. I moved to Puerto Rico from Illinois, USA to care and live with him. Mr. Peterson's call for responsibility and to face tragedy directly is what made this process no more tragic than it already is and was. Read his book 12 rules for life and continue to watch his lectures. Enjoy every moment with her. The most difficult day was when he was officially properly diagnosed 2 years ago, yet after he past away, I would give anything to go back to the first stage.

[@jtlegionnaire6310]

Hey man, I’m sorry for your loss, but I hope and pray your life has gotten a little more bright lately.

[@b.f.skinner4383]

This is the essence of stoicism. Life is hard enough, concern yourself only with that within your direct control and accept everything else as if you have chosen it yourself

[@charlsgaard]

Dear Jordan Peterson I’m proud of myself that despite my fathers continuing rejection of me in the last several years of his life and even on his deathbed - a couple of months before his illness I confronted him saying that I found it a tragedy that he was about to end his last days not having any contact with any of his three sons including myself - stepped up on the day and presented myself as my fathers first born to all of the guests (many I didn’t know) and held the first speech which contained of my last deep and sincere correspondance with my father. Thanks for your inspiration. It’s me in the light blue suit (my father loved bright colours and the sun was shining and the whole was held outside in the most beautiful landscape) and in the end before he was driven away I played the song he many years before (before he rejected me) mentioned as his wished for his funeral.

[@jhaas_]

You know with a speech by Jordan Peterson I stop the video to blow my nose, because I dont wanna miss a single word he says. Pure wisdom!

[@Curiousnessify]

agreed, i would stop the video if you were blowing me as well :)

[@jaysway9251]

My wife’s mother (who was actually her grandmother since her biological mother abandoned her at birth) past away last year Dec 5, 2017. Needless to say my wife’s family is quite dysfunctional and like JBP said “all the dragons came out”. They ended up bickering about minor things and past grudges peeked their head to start trouble. Yet throughout it all, she became the most reliable person at her moms funeral. It’s been a tough year for her but through it all, she’s grown so much and I can see so much of JBPs lectures coming into fruition through her.

[@originaldon5001]

My uncle died a couple of hours ago. I want to be there for my family and these were exactly the words I needed. I want to offer my condolences to those people here watching with their loss. It is a terrible thing

[@dannykeiss7955]

"One must imagine Peterson happy." -Albert Camus

[@Feezzurb]

My niece passed away 2 days ago. I kept thinking about this when I was comforting my family today. I will continue to use this as motivation. To get through the coming days.

[@RustyShakleford1]

i watched this in preparation for my mothers funeral. it helped me gather myself immensely. thank you

[@randommusings6425]

This reminds me of two very important things my father taught me. ( He had an IQ of 165 by the way)He said, Adversity introduces a man to himself, and a also " Misfortune doesn't create character. It reveals it". The person you truly are will come out in adversity. I am old and have been through cancer, death, hurricanes, shortage of food and resources, et . so I know this to be true. I have seen the person who will steal food when noone is looking, and other comparable situations. Chaos, grief, death, disaster will happen to all of us if we live long enough. Will we rise up and be the leader, or will we play a Survivor type game..be out for ourselves and frankly be a rat bastard. Only time will tell. But who you truly are will be known then.

[@xjuhox]

I have seen few "strong" bullies being collapsed when faced with a misfortune or a loss of a family member. A good person does not spread misery or turn a misfortune into a disaster.

[@manamaster6]

The advice Jordan gives on being the most useful man at your father's funeral is great. My father died last month, I tried to save him, but I couldn't, so I tried to do my best to avoid my family having to deal with that situation, and it was difficult, but I think it helped me. I'm now going to therapy once a week, so that I can move on and continue with my life in a healthy manner.

[@mikeyo1234]

"Old age ain't no place for sissies"

[@Canada151337]

I've been a fan of Jordan ever since his first appearance on Joe Rogan. I've heard this clip several times over time, and one of my best friends just passed away yesterday from a brain aneurysm. 27 years old. I find this video to be incredibly helpful in helping myself, help his family deal with this absolutely incomprehensible tragedy. Thank you Dr. Peterson.

[@calen_chan]

Our family has to put down a beloved pet tomorrow and this is the best advice I could get. I can tell if I wasn't making these goals from JP I would be a miserable useless mess right now. Thank you as always. ❤

[@ryannixon4138]

I'm also here putting my pup of twelve years down, thank you for this

[@cathyfargher3737]

I have been that person three times now for those I have loved most dearly. I held their hands as they died, and it felt like a heartbreaking privilege. I remain grateful that I had the opportunity to repay the love and care they had shown me over their lifetimes. Being at all three deathbeds had a huge impact, particularly on my mental health, yet I still feel glad I could be there for them. Ditto for the funerals, the aftermath, settling their affairs, taking care of those left behind - the grief is put on hold because being useful and dependable helps to ease the pain of loss. But it eventually catches up with you, and can exact a significant and life-changing toll. The satisfaction of doing your best for them in those final events does not protect you from the impact of delayed emotion. I would always want to be there in similar circumstances, but would caution others not to subsume your own emotions too much. It's okay to grieve for your loss at the time, too. Postponing it so that you can be the calm, collected one is not necessarily a good coping strategy. Wishing everyone going through anything similar love and light. The cliché is true: it does get easier over time.

[@da9elb]

My uncle who I was very close with died in a house fire a few days ago. I am going to be the reliable person at the funeral. Thank you Jordan.

[@mengo0456]

When I was 19 my mother jumped through the window from our apartment. As the only son it was my duty to arrange her funeral and the only one from family that saw her body as by my decision the casket was closed, I believe that thank god i was able to do my duty as a son and helped my father on the darkest day of our lives. Im almost finishing college now, have a good girlfriend but still I know that life and I are not the same anymore and worry that some scars will be there forever.

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

Please allow me to share my best friend's story with you. This family knows where to turn in times of grief. Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless! Tribute to Ethan Lakey kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5nSk5aHj5uEmJo

[@imnotpikachu213]

My brother just died by suicide as well. I find your comment oddly comforting in knowing im not alone. Im the youngest of my sibblings (21F) and they took care of all of the funeral arrangements but im afraid to break down during his service. Im going crazy in not killing myself as well.

[@mengo0456]

@@imnotpikachu213 You are not alone, I hope you are better now. Keep growing, one day at a time.

[@muslimahmukbang417]

Thankyou. This really helped. My mother passed away four years ago and I lost my grandfather too a few days ago. Their demise didn't hurt me so much but the horrible behaviour, attitude and fakeness so many people had put up in their individual funerals, broke me. I don't know yet how to ignore them strategically. JBP's book 12 Rules for life also helped me a lot. But I forgot it at my grandma's house. So now seeking shelter from these youtube JBP lectures

[@robcahill4917]

Good job by the cameraman for keeping Dr. Peterson in frame as he paces around so much. Loved the vid, by the way!

[@Mursmurs325]

Dr. Jordan Peterson..... The Aristotle of our time! what a beautiful mind and soul :)

[@mattybrews]

This is such a powerful sentiment--to be so properly aligned with reality that even a major setback cannot undo you. Peterson underscores how transformation occurs at multiple simultaneous levels, and plotting the course of those multiple data points reveals how a notion of "alignment" can emerge.

[@2legit2Kwit]

The obstacle may be the opportunity. Thank you Dr. Peterson.

[@artsho]

Ive come back to this one multiple times. really speaks to me. i will try to be the reliable person at the funeral.

[@PrivateSnafu14]

My father died this morning. Thank you, Mr. Peterson and to all the people commenting here.

[@jayess8714]

If I can get through my father's funeral tomorrow, then I can get through anything.

[@Tarik360]

I remember seeing this 7 - 6 years ago. Thinking and hoping I'd need to keep this in mind about 10 years from now. I appreciate him holding this speech regardless.

[@shvonned.burkemsncrnpagpcn619]

Gold. “It really is something to be the reliable person at the funeral.”

[@golkeeper8517]

my mother took her life.my first husband took his life. I had all the reason to be the most wrecked one at the funeral.instead I was strong. I had a little child to take care of. I had to be strong.Once Saul Bellow wrote this "oh Lord sometimes pain is a sort of laziness". When you have to you have to. Sometimes you cant lay in bed waiting the men to cut off electricity and waiting to die.Sometimes even expecting to die is a great luxury.

[@Bsairy]

Thank you Professor Jordan, I was so attached to my mum and she passed away two days ago and I was the reliable person in her funeral ❤️thanks to you

[@ISILENTNINJAI]

Thank you Jordan Peterson, listening to this while processing my fathers death. Still trying to come to term with his passing, knowing both mom and dad are gine forever hurts but I can't break for my younger siblings who need someone to look up to.

[@MasteryOrder]

Respect for you. Reliability is the cornerstone of manhood. All the best to you.

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

Please allow me to share my best friend's story with you. This family knows where to turn in times of grief. Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless! Tribute to Ethan Lakey kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5nSk5aHj5uEmJo

[@katherinekelly6432]

"The root of suffering is attachment" BuddhaThe suffering is not why we suffer but are relationship to it.An elderly man who does the maintenance at the school I teach at was a prisoner of war and during his captivity was tortured. I asked him how he was able to keep his sanity and he answered that he learned to love the pain. This was his way of being detached and letting go. He did not resist but embraced the experience.It is not the suffering but what we do with it by are relationship to it that decides are fate.

[@P_Belle]

Katherine Kelly - wow, "embrace the pain" . I wonder how his PTSD is.

[@WebIndustrysolutions]

Sir, as one of my mentors, I want to thank you and encourage your good work. This video specifically encouraged me to be ready to speak at a funeral. Weeks late on April 27th 2022 my 15 year old daughter left this world. Your words were on my mind when I stood up and encouraged others and thanked them for being brave as well at her funeral. Thank you sir.

[@gordonfreeman5958]

These words have finally come to mean something real to me. My dad just died suddenly a couple of weeks ago. No one even knew he was seriously ill and certainly no one thought he could die. Our lives were flipped upside down in an instant as soon as we found out. He wasn't even old. The funeral is yet to happen but I have tried to be strong for my mum who is going through a loss just as great or greater than I am. All I can tell people is that you should live life meaningfully and do what you can to maximise its quality, because you may not know when it will come to an end, and it may hit you before you even have the chance to think about it. Life is a tragedy, but the best thing you can do is fight back and make it the best life you possibly can for yourself, your family, and everyone else.

[@Bardizzle4895]

This is probably one of the lectures that I relate to the most. In life, you must be able to call an audible at a moment's notice in order to change the direction of life and more times often than not, it can even save your life. I wish someone would have given me this lecture ten years ago being in my mid twenties currently. Hell of a lesson to be learned here.

[@DRE4Mzy]

Every time I hear Peterson speak, I feel I get grounded again to my goals. Not many people can do this for me.

[@saq546]

“...be the useful person at the funeral..” awesome! Profound! Epic! Love JP.

[@dude157]

I needed this message today. Thank you.

[@AlmightyDemon]

I just attended my grandma funeral. Goal completed. Thank you Dr. Peterson.

[@croccatcher]

I am so weak from losing my dad last month, I'm going to try and be very strong at his funeral.

[@tman040496tb]

I have been listening to these speeches for a while because his incite into human behavior fascinates me but recently I stoped and thought o shit I actually need to implement these ideas into my life now I guess I got a room to clean.

[@forrest8507]

My father is currently in the ICU on ventilation. Dr. Peterson, I needed this, thankyou.

[@BlahBlahUsername1]

Call it selfish, but I cannot go to funerals anymore. Mostly its because the people who pass are those nobody thought very well of, or thought well enough to consider their lives when they were ... alive. My grandfather passed, people never made the time to visit him and my grandmother. Im not looking to build a bond with such people. I said my goodbyes when I spent the last 2 yrs of of his life with. All this works for families who are relatively close. For others, to hell with them. I was thought bad of when I did not go to my grandfathers funeral. I did not miss it because of family, tho. I didnt go because its not how I want to remember someone. Pay respect in life. Theres no dignity in death.

[@oromochic1993]

Tell me about it my cousin just passed away from cancer and at her funeral when one of her "best friend" was like me and muna did everything together blahblahblah yet only visted her 5 times in the hospital(2years worth of sickness) and broke contact for a year and wants to show up at the funeral crying the same goes for most of her friends but hey funerals should ONLY be for close family members and true friends

[@leonardusdesignleonardusde3479]

They rebuild the ship and sail away Always brilliantly insightful dr peterson

[@theweirick]

Just gave this advice to an amazing friend who lost his father. Thanks JP!

[@2legit2Kwit]

Another great message from the man who is saving humanity one lecture at a time. Cheers.

[@jeuxinfini]

Love this guy.

[@spirited1689]

My dog just died a couple of hours ago. I was a wreck, tears and snot everywhere. I remembered this video and dug a hole 2 meters wide, 1 meters deep. My hands were bloody from the blisters and callouses ripping but I kept digging for her. No one else was gonna dig the hole. I was able to calm myself, put on some gloves and boots. I got a crowbar to hack into the hardened clay rather than angrily swinging the shovel like my previous attempts.

[@whenpiratesattack]

Life is mostly a rat's nest of misery.

[@keagandeaville2775]

this mans words are so powerful. I hope he knows what they can do for a person. My father recently passed and i tried to be the rock at the funeral and since then. his last statement of being able to take a major loss and not collapse, how he said youre a moster if you can do that, its just really what i needed to hear right now. jordan peterson is a good good person in a world filled with so much evil

[@waterexisting9651]

Beautiful.

[@Laurian21]

here's my take: life is pretty shitty but it doesn't have to be

[@nelan3334]

IMO it's like - it has to be shity (sometimes), but if we deal with the shity moment decently we can go through it and even gain something.

[@Laurian21]

@@nelan3334 I meant what I said in a broader sense, the very few rich and powerful control everything and nobody really does anything about it. Yea you can live a decent and comfortable life as a random no name but it would be nice if humanity as a whole evolved in a way that most people lived the good life.

[@maxr8414]

Yesterday, my Mum was diagnosed with motor-neurons disease. She has 3-4 years left. Thanks to Jordan, I'm a lot more prepared to be the man I need to be for my family. I'm eternally grateful for every lesson he has taught me.

[@natedoherty3462]

My father became very ill about a decade ago. He was near death daily for months. In a hospital. I was extremely immature at the time, I drank too much, was very self focused, still am now in some ways, but at the time, I didn't help him when he got better like I should have. Nor my mom. To now.... current day, my sister passed away from alcoholism a few months ago. I followed jordan petersons advice. Hes not without flaws but Jordan's advice was extraordinarily helpful in dealing with my sisters sudden death. I stepped up as much as I could. I led my family in my own way through this, as did my dad and other family. But I was able to be effective with my more positive attributes to help with the funeral, burial, crying, etc. I was damn sure that this crisis in our lives i would hit the ground running in a braver direction. Being the reliable person at a funeral makes you grow up.

[@eduardobibm]

I'm thankful that I was able to give my father a dignified eulogy. I had to harden myself to be able to get through it which hurt some of my closure but still worth it.

[@jarodpyron6992]

My mom passed away three weeks ago. It was and is difficult to comprehend that she’s gone. Dr. Peterson’s video helped and helps me get through. Thank you sir for your much needed council in a very dark time.

[@denverwind]

I AM THAT RESPONSIBLE PERSON AT A FUNERAL. I offer my help anyway that the family needs. From finding assistance for burial costs to serving food, clean-up whatever they need.

[@lynnmceachern1468]

That's the truth! Thank you!

[@newguy3588]

Damn... that last bit at the end there.

[@reeveetalk1907]

My Father passed today, watching this to prepare.

[@beatmasterflex5186]

My Girlfriend's Grandfather has died recently. I knew Doctor Peterson would have insight on how I should handle this. Thanks again, you brilliant warrior of truth.

[@ChildofGoodFortune]

This is so true, thanks for reminding me

[@stephenpayne9120]

My mother just died, four days ago. This is helping me BEYOND BELIEF. Thank you, JP.

[@radichobanov]

Brooo that hit so hard 3:34 ''...that makes you Noah when the flood comes''🤯

[@dmrc43]

a wise puppet once told me: Train yourself to let go, of everything you fear to lose.

[@surelock3221]

and then it joined isis

[@deagor4578]

Master Yoda?

[@cold_showerboy8137]

Its gotta be kermit man.

[@salazarpayne3784]

Anybody else here in this comments that is a monster? A solid human being? Not wavering to negativity when a dear family member or friend passes? It's fucking tough isn't it? Kudos to you. And big love. We got this. Please know that there is a guy out there by the name of Salazar that really really really is rooting you on.

[@MarioWendorf]

We must rebuild the and sail on. I'll never forget that

[@bobbyblazes1]

I cant get enough of this guy,, " he's like a step father that actually likes you" - Theo Von.

[@malanamarie5206]

My grandmother passed away this morning and in the past 4 years 3 of my uncles have died. I am only 20 and were all young and I could not hold it together at their funerals I was a sloppy mess. I don’t want to be like that at my grandmas because a lot of my cousins were raised by her/still being raised by her and she was deeply loved by so many. I want to be able to be there for my cousins I really hope I am able to keep it together for them.

[@varnaksingh]

Thank you

[@cla3189]

That’s a good goal, man

[@aaronhorvath3291]

Yes I was the person that did it all for my father's, mother's and my brothers funerals. My dad has just passed away on ash Wednesday of the year about two week's ago and I'm very thankful that I could have done it with the help of God's great love for us all.

[@tomb2574]

Don't know you will see this. My father died on December 9th, 2018. I handled all the details of the funeral, clearing his house, handling his bills and paying for everything. I live 1,300 May from him, but still got it all done in less than three weeks. At his funeral, I got to thinking that anytime a family member dies, me and my cousin are expected to handle it, even from the age of 17 when my grandfather died. That brings me to a question. After every funeral, during the cleanup, all of the kids from the family flock to me. Do the kids see and feel something to a responsible person that the adults miss? Your statement, be the strongest person at your fathers funeral, was driven home when my dad passed. Thank you.

[@richardjamesclemo6235]

Didn’t Jesus say something like, ‘ Don’t tell them, show them, and they will come to you’.

[@tenderthoughts]

"In the day of adversity, stop & consider". And I'm one hell of a monster!

[@TheChrishendrix]

Really love this dude.

[@sipowicz4ever]

I just returned from my Mom's funeral. I had seen this year's ago when Mom first started to have problems and decline. I wasn't sure then whether or not I could be the Monster...I was/am though. I was there at her side, and I did NOT collapse through this whole process. I might later...in an interesting way now I'm ready to pay more attention. Mr. Peterson sir, you will be seeing me at a lecture, microphone in hand ready to ask the questions I've been putting off. There's a reason for everything and a reason I found you years ago.

[@erichand7548]

Love this man

[@somemedic8482]

Any practical advice on the "how" and not just the "what". We know that we should be that reliable person, but how to do that practically is the more difficult part. A step by step advice on how to keep your calm both internally and externally in the midst of chaos would be very helpful.

[@amazingyear9042]

that’s me. thankyou Mr. Peterson!