Jordan Peterson: Toxic Relationships

Jordan Peterson talks in this video about toxic relationships, behavioral microelements, behavioral repertoires, the Great Mother & the Great Father, the fundamental elements of being, etc. ORDER Peterson's NEW book & audiobook Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for life amzn.to/33uho7H Australians click here for Beyond Order: amzn.to/3qfSxOI
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This clip comes from professor Peterson's: "2015 Maps of Meaning 7: Mythology: Chaos / Part 2 (Jordan Peterson)" • 2015 Maps of Meaning 0...

[@imbrakingthrough2152]

When you think about it - that’s how most good people get eaten by narcissists - they keep calm until it’s too late

[@carlyellisemarie]

True ..

[@Adamlovesvideos]

I actually disagree. I don't think being calm is the issue. I believe its a combination of a lack of wisdom, self respect, and ignorance to what narcissism is that allows them to be eaten. I believe you can be calm and assertive.

[@nallanw4329]

@@Adamlovesvideos well said

[@louisasmiles]

We know we're in a mess, and we keep calm to stop the abuse

[@mariemmattoussi1461]

@@Adamlovesvideos exactly...

[@marcospizarro7890]

I’m telling you it’s the worst avoid “walking on egg shells” type of relationship, AT ALL COST!

[@breadman5048]

Lol what do you do if your mom is like that lol I’m not about to cut her off

[@marcospizarro7890]

@@breadman5048 Has she been to anything traumatic to make her feel that way? If not, having a boundary on how much eggshell walking you're going to take from her could help. Reading the book “boundaries” in general would help with those types of challenging questions.

[@breadman5048]

@@marcospizarro7890 I'll check it out.. I tend to shy away from the boundardies thing cuz it seem pretty selfish to me esp with family. but yeah she's been through trauma like her mom dying when she was little like 9 and losing family but honestly I just think it's her being the youngest of 11 and just being anxious but caring at the same time. She's always worried about everything always negative always complaining it's fucking exhausting.. omg and I'm living at home now and it's even worse. always trying to improve everyone around her but she can't accept any criticism herself she's difficult to be around, friend. I'm losing my mind.

[@marcospizarro7890]

@@breadman5048 yeah, it's hard you can only help a person who wants to be helped. Read the book boundaries but “nerver split the difference” might help you more rn. Teaches to negotiate with people but especially difficult people. If you get her to open up just asking introspective questions that would help her see different angles. In the end it's a slow process to change someone unless they a willing to

[@breadman5048]

@@marcospizarro7890 I'll check it out thanks

[@AverageAngel]

So accurate about toxic people being a bottomless pit of hell. There is no end to there madness, and the only thing you can do is to separate yourself from them and any situation they are in to save your own health and sanity

[@SportsFreak217]

Perfectly put. Exactly what I did to end the circle before it began to spiral into resentment.

[@remcogossink6711]

Thank you for your comment

[@chop2093]

I bet 90% of the students in his class have no idea how lucky they are to have him as their professor...

[@Fajita.tamale]

Nah bullshit, maybe 30-40, when you’re that passionate in the delivery and not just the topic you get peoples attention.

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

They’re so lucky. At 32, i can say all his info, almost everything I’ve heard from him, was NECESSARY for me to hear when I was 20-26.

[@libbybecker1741]

They may comprehend what he’s saying, but unless it’s experienced, few can possibly know they need this information.

[@Serena-or7sl]

I had the same situation in a completely different subject. The majority knows, be sure of that. Some will not like the methods but recognize the value, some others will dislike him on every single front (and lose his teachings). The people in that room are for the main part smart and motivated too (yes, also people that arrive late and seem to "disregard" the lectures. Life happens for everybody).

[@Iksvomid]

But those 10%, man, they know...

[@zuffy09]

"You cannot help them, you cannot fix it, they're done " " They can't be rescued from hell" This is for myself and whoever felt even a little guilty for having the courage of ending a toxic relationship

[@zuffy09]

@@saintmarybulicek567 I'm not an expert but if he repeatedly cheated on you and lied to you it's not worth it. Respect is the first key and definitely he doesn't give you this thing. I know it's hard but to open to new beautiful things and let them enter your life you have to get rid of what's hurting you and bringing you down. Sorry for any mistakes I wish you the best

[@josephgarcia6725]

@@saintmarybulicek567 By all accounts,,, he has left you a long time ago,,,it's time you did the same. Believe me I know ,,cause I was in your shoes too. It will be hard ,,,but I think You are Strong enough to do it . For You and your children ! Act now! Peace .

[@wagnerlacerda5854]

I ended one 4 years ago. Best thing I ever did.

[@exquisitecaribbeanqueen7198]

This is do true, they are Carnivoriius . True words

[@exquisitecaribbeanqueen7198]

I just got a divorce from one. I can't believe I stayed so long. Uuuuuuugh.

[@Flamethrowa21]

I took the red pill for real this week. It was quite literally the liberation of my soul. I feel confident in myself and the decision I made, to end my relationship. I put myself in chains for a girl I was too emotionally dependent on. We're 20 y/o, both very attractive with bright futures. She has depression, and each time she got down, would push me away. My beta male behaviors would kick in, and I'd smother the hell out of her. It ruined everything. I convinced myself for months that it would get better. That there was something I could do to "fix" it. Thank God I turned to Jordan Peterson and behavioral psychology to figure it out for myself. I know now that I have been a weak male, part of the larger crowd of males. I wore my heart on my sleeve. That all has to change for my personal success. I have realized that I was living for others, and not with self interest. That is the destructive part. I still love this woman. She is very mature. But I have objectively realized that we will NEVER function cohesively together. All I can say is thank you Dr. Peterson. You quite literally saved years of poor decision making from my life.

[@rickrossi7426]

Being with a borderline or NPD woman can drive you crazy, knowledge is power to get you through this. Learn how to set boundaries and make sure people respect you boundaries or walk away.

[@Ashnesss]

Flamethrowa21 LOL is she diagnosed with depression or did she push you away cause she doesn't want you? Did she push you away because of your behaviour? Lol your reasoning is not logical at all. If anything, most people who are diagnosed with depression actually like someone being there for them. Were you there? Or was your behaviour and way of approaching her absolutely unacceptable? Stop trying to make yourself appear logical and her appear illogical. Women reject men they don't deem fit for dating. When someone rejects you it's not because they suffer from depression or BPD. And saying such a thing out of the blue just shows how resentful you are that she didn't accept you. I can see why she didn't. You really need to grow up and be realistic. Instead of blaming her and your circumstances, look at your own behaviour and see what you're doing wrong. I've been stalked, harassed and belittled by a stranger that i don't even know. There's nothing logical about his approach. He has contacted my friends and family. Hacked my phone. I'm not pushing him away. Facts, his past and present, drinking, drugs, stalking girls, wasting time, unemployment since graduation lasting for 6 years, etc are all valid reasons for me not wanting to deal with him. Those are logical and valid reasons. He only did this to me because I'm a girl. He wouldn't do it to a guy. He's illogical. Women in his family are abused and his behaviour towards me has been nothing but abusive. He comes from a dysfunctional family. He's not even employed and he's 30+. He never applied for a job since graduation. Only wasted time drinking, doing drugs, stalking girls and harassing me. He's a sheep who follows the crowd and seeks lame pleasures to fill the void of his meaningless life. He dwells in nothingness. Not only that, he also asked people to introduce my brother to smoking. Not only does he follow the masses but he also encourages others to dwell in nothingness. He's not a good example and definitely not someone who's husband or father material. How can you trust a guy like that around kids? His parents never gave him responsibilities. He has no purpose in life. If he doesn't value his own time, future and life why should I value him? He's a man child.

[@Ashnesss]

WaspSnG How do you define depression? What is depression, to you? I know people who are clinically depressed and I've met plenty of people who have been upset due to the death of a loved one, problems with children, divorce, etc and not one person wanted to be alone. It's in a woman's nature to want a reliable man that she can trust and find solace in. It's in a mans nature too. People only build relationships and maintain relationships where there's trust and respect, cause without those two elements, love simply cannot exist. If a girl doesn't trust you when she's depressed, she doesn't trust you. It's against human nature to isolate yourself if you're depressed and especially if you're clinically depressed. Most doctors suggest patients to socialise and surround themselves with people. Isolation is never recommended. Stop saying she's pushing you away. Another guy could come along and she may trust him within days or weeks, cause he has certain qualities, that demonstrate he's a reliable man. If a woman doesn't trust you when she's upset, depressed, etc then the two of you, obviously can't have a relationship. Most people don't trust certain people because of their behaviour. That's a relationship that's bound to fail. Every person will meet at least one person they can't trust in their life. And some people see certain traits as complete deal breakers, for a relationship. If you possess such traits, it's obvious the person won't let you near him/her. It's the basics you build on. Focus on the basics first. Stop over thinking and over analysing. Move on.

[@Ashnesss]

Your view is simplistic and one dimensional. You're not taking into account any other factors. Could it be, you're actually not what she deems to be a good and reliable man, who's relationship material, in which case, her decision is understandable? Relationships are not based on what you think about yourself. They're based on who you are with a specific person. If you're rejected early on, it's because of your general behaviour, mindset, present habits, decisions in life, traits that clearly demonstrate that you're not what she deems relationship material. If a girl is used to calm, mature, employed, reliable, private and exclusive men with small circles, men who don't drink or do drugs, and men who have their lives together, and have demonstrated that they can be in long term relationships and see them through, then she will not trust a man with a big mouth who takes her name everywhere and can't respect her privacy/individuality or decisions, controlling, obsessive, possessive, disrespects her, tells people to disrespect her and not talk to her, isolates her then acts like she doesn't socialise with him or certain people, has been unemployed and never applied for a job, wastes time, drinks, does drugs and asks girls for nude pics. Those are two completely contrasting and extreme examples. Very simplistic. You have to look at everything in context. If you trust someone or deem someone reliable, you won't push the person away because having the person close to you, gives you peace, comfort and love. And there's no better feeling in the world than love. Love heals everything especially pain. So if it is in fact true that some people are depressed, then they'll probably need love more than anything and most people won't leave the chance of obtaining a amazing, fulfilling, everlasting and genuine love! Everyone has the energy for love.

[@Ashnesss]

If you can't be there for someone when they're down, you can forget all about relationships, cause there will always be sad moments in life, that will leave you distraught. Some men, are known to chime in when a girl is going through something and that's because if you demonstrate that you're reliable, then you're worth it. No, I don't mean this in the sense that a douchebag gets a girl to trust him and then dumps her. If a man is going to pretend that a girl is upset but act like he won't help her because of whatever reason, then he sure as hell isn't relationship material and he has issues. I would doubt that such a person is even genuine and a good human being. Helping others is a basic thing. Also, a girl will notice what a man is doing to make her situation better in life. Is he adding value or deliberately subtracting value from her life by deliberately abusing, playing games and causing drama, isolation, etc? The latter is not a man that you can trust. It's common sense. There are people with extreme traits, it seems far fetched but such people do exist even if they're 1 in 2000. So you might just bump into that one undiagnosed asshole and of course you'll reject him, because his behaviour demonstrates he's not reliable. Even if a guy isn't that extreme but lacks certain qualities such as basic humanity, privacy, keeping it on the low and not mentioning the girls name in front of people, he can easily get rejected because he's too naive and unrealistic when it comes to relationships.

[@rmcd823]

Being in a toxic relationship is a shame. I am glad Peterson can see it. Most families create the worse toxic “relationships”. Most people hate when we through light in the dark. They hate the truth.

[@plutonium120]

if you cant speak the truth to someone in ANY relationship, it is not a healthy relationship.

[@Explorshon123]

"most families create the worst toxic relationships." Do you know every family on the planet? LOL Where's your facts that back that up.

[@khashayarmotarjemi5442]

@@Explorshon123 I mean you don't technically need every family on the planet, like all minus 10 would do just fine

[@actualizedreality7629]

Desire to sort myself intensifies

[@Myllkka]

Actualized Reality lol

[@lizs606]

'Hell is empty and all the devils are here.'

[@queirol2126]

I still can't imagine what Jordan's test look like

[@Koeras16]

Hm if he his what he seems to be, I think, i have a good idea of how his tests would look like.

[@queirol2126]

too scared

[@sadisticgirl_]

2. Describe what's hell, man. generally speaking. Give 3 examples. but fr tho I would love to see those test and do them for myself in my own time.

[@sadisticgirl_]

3. Was Pinocchio in or out of the belly of the whale by the time a Jungian idea was articulated in Gulag Archipelago? What did Freudian mother think of that?

[@will1718]

It’s multiple choice and from material in the textbook.

[@perseverancestand3634]

Sometimes distance is necessary for healing and mental growth. It can be hard especially with family, however you can't allow their brokeness break you and stop you from loving other people and yourself

[@katherinekelly6432]

People are meant to be enjoyed in the moment. Not owned for the future or to repair the past. When we stop treating each other as commodities that serve a means to an end much of this toxicity falls away. Healthy people do not have toxic relationships. They value their health far to much to tolerate them. Once your health becomes your highest value to will do what is necessary to protect it.

[@GhostlyNomad130]

I think its fairly Naive to say "Healthy people don't have bad relationships." I agree with the rest, but you can be healthy, and reasonably put together and be dragged down into hell with someone you love. It's unreasonable to believe that a "Healthy" Person, whatever that means would have idealised relationships all the time.

[@Strife72]

Insightfully & beautifully said!

[@hellcat3586]

@@GhostlyNomad130 you don’t have to agree, but I do agree with her. Putting yourself first will help you spot those who have different values and could be toxic

[@breadman5048]

Or we just end up with a society of incredibly selfish people

[@leifkemp]

💪🏽❤ Are you single? :)

[@klattalexis]

Staying in a toxic relationship can turn a person into a drug addict or alcoholic just to get through the day! Then when you get out of that toxic relationship you are stuck with getting over your addiction(s). In either case, it leaves you with the need for therapy and/or a 12 step program and your life is at its end years.

[@proverbs16-3]

Are you blaming the toxic person for the addiction? If so you miss so much of Peterson’s points. You are responsible for you.

[@dightxiii8578]

@@proverbs16-3 Why are you jumping to push blame on them? They never gave any indication of blaming any toxic individual, they said staying in a toxic relationship.

[@proverbs16-3]

Fair enough

[@khashayarmotarjemi5442]

@@dightxiii8578 they, as in?

[@dightxiii8578]

@@khashayarmotarjemi5442 as in the person who wrote the original comment

[@mistersmith6163]

Really needs subtitles for the questions. helps for context.

[@oscarwilde9581]

Just got out of the belly of the beast last week. It hurt because it was my home, but Peterson’s videos are helping me see how extensively wrong it was for me to allow myself to be there. In the future I must look out for those little monsters before they aggregate as I continue to ignore them.

[@JackDivision]

Can we please give the trophy of best teacher in the West to him already ?

[@richardminnick6797]

I've already labeled him as the greatest mind of our time.

[@lesterdiamond6190]

I've known several men who absolutely destroyed themselves, mostly with alcohol and drugs. I've got a lot of experience watching guys circle the drain. I feel I've been given an exceptional opportunity to learn from other people's mistakes.

[@harrisonwintergreen1147]

"if you could see their unconscious, you'd see two people with their hands around each others throat." my brother and his wife. they're gleefully killing each other by the death of a thousand cuts. (his ex had the bravery and common sense to get away from him) my boss and his wife

[@vlogcity1111]

Who bled out first??

[@lillith77]

Omg, preach it! I don't even know where to start dragging myself out of the mess I've made

[@PrestoniaVonPerle]

lillith77 same

[@thealchemist7819]

I hope it worked out for you both.

[@tagaway6173]

Update us!

[@4everu984]

Dr. Peterson would say....clean your room. 🥰 my task today 😉, I’ll Listen to his audiobook as I do.

[@racharoundtheworld]

“Polluted your psyche” yes. Your outlook on life changes and you gain a victim mentality. Very hard to get out of! Been there… to the point where people who were actually good for me, freaked me out.

[@bradenjlloyd]

How did you get out of it?

[@racharoundtheworld]

@@bradenjlloyd I started meditating and putting myself before others. Once you trust yourself and your needs, you realize how toxic people can be.

[@robinsuewho9430]

Today my husband and I have been married 24 years. He retired from over 22 years in the military about 6.5 yrs ago. I believe he has PTSD but he will not seek help. We're sleeping in different rooms and it's hurting my heart so much. I wish he'd agree to marriage and individual counseling. I made a vow 24 yrs ago and I intend to keep it but it's so hard.

[@mariorodriguez219]

Good for u robin, not a lot of people like u left out there

[@Nvmsea]

Damn respect praying for you to find peace tho this one is difficult

[@LaYedra]

Robin you are awesome! Whatever happens, you remember that you are an amazing person and we do the best we can with what we have.

[@aharowna3539]

RobinSueWho • I'm reading this a year later & hope with all my heart your husband has since sought help, though many with PTSD & C-PTSD don't even realise that's what's wrong with them. You too would benefit from the help of a good councillor or therapist & would find the strength & resolve to support him better. All the best & sincere regards Robin. Would be nice to know where your up to if you get to read this. Much love & best wishes, Angel J 😊🙋‍♀️💜🌈💐

[@shonkysidewayssam6134]

Some times the toxic relations can be closer to home than people realise and when away from the toxic person. It becomes a difficult lesson, that is hard to not resent on many levels... Hoping that those traits haven’t been incorporated into ones self and unable to identify/change them.

[@ciaraskeleton]

I hope I some day get the chance to listen to a lecture by this man in real life

[@floatingchimney]

Gurl u so fine.

[@jeffgo5742]

Jose Carreras your so lame. Lol trying to holla at a girl in the KZbin comment section

[@floatingchimney]

Jeff Go: Any woman that watches Jordan Peterson is worth of being complimented.

[@jeffgo5742]

Jose Carreras well if that’s your best compliment then your gonna have trouble with woman

[@floatingchimney]

Jeff Go: Lol, you gotta break the ice somehow, bro. I got plenty of cards up my sleeve.

[@nachelleferkovich5821]

"People that dont think hell is real their just not paying attention at all." 😅

[@snaps4kappu]

How lucky and blessed his students are. 🥰

[@riyaabdul4810]

You are so right and I know someone very closed went through that situation

[@CorpusKristieTN]

Makes sense Dr. Peterson thank you for everything you generously bless us with your helping all of us thank you

[@djayb]

these videos always end with a profound statement! for 10 minutes i’m like where is this going then he says “That is at the base of our conceptual structures.” and i’m like holy shit i need to watch that again. and now i’ll be thinking about this all day!

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

HIS STUDENTS ARE SO FUCKING LUCKY. I’m in my 30s. My life would’ve turned out radically different if I had this guy talking to me in my early 20s.

[@francescogulisano2917]

I love these bits that are just enough out of context that you can have a phrase like "if a seven-headed snake that is infinetly long comes at you it's time to run for the hills, not stand there with your bronze ax" with no apparent reason at all

[@dakotachilders5827]

Best thing i like about Dr. Peterson is that he in genuine

[@Achrostichon]

Story of my life

[@miguelrico4326]

Day by day I’m understanding i was in love with a narcissist. I believed I was going to grow into a better man, and i was left at the bottom of hell

[@bradenjlloyd]

Have you gotten better? I'm trying to recover from that as well..

[@miguelrico4326]

@@bradenjlloyd Yes much better. You will find someone that will make U understand that U weren’t the problem & value You just the way You are. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just analyze n learn from the experience and become a better man from it. Never let it control You.

[@kblankenship5870]

How did I live to almost 50 before this dynamic was crystal clear. People pleasers will stay too busy to see this evil , not even know it existed.

[@amyl2116]

I adore listening to this gentleman man

[@apacur]

There Has to be a Way out of such a situation-- There Has to be.

[@mrs8792]

He’s right! The stayed in a bad marriage for 24 years and literally cost me my health!

[@rose4490]

I was in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic abuser, and after dealing with this crazy guy for only a year, a half I now have lost any desire for human companionship. The three main guys in my life now are my cat, my dad and Jesus in ascending order.

[@Jokajoka123-_-]

Makes me go back to university and take psychology as major and have him as a Professor.

[@user-dz3nc1vs1g]

Jordan's hand gestures are rather captivating 😊

[@AthenaTheWolf]

I recognized the album cover and thought I clicked on the band but JP is always worth the listen too

[@amberceleste5732]

I literally love this man mind.

[@urseldoran9782]

For those that are interested in this relationship going to hell, most are to young to remember the movie, "War of the Roses". So horrific it has some good humor.

[@vesnadjordjevic28]

I remember, great movie..

[@mke3053]

Great great movie

[@catherinesuheylaafra9890]

Mind blowing truth errrrday!

[@carolineorlando9858]

Whenever I click on one of these videos he always goes off on some 5 different tangents that I forgot why I clicked on the title of the video in the first place and get lost

[@starboy2013]

He is so right.

[@kanedrake9838]

Id like to hear his break down of Coraline that would be good with the anti and hero mother and father

[@carolinasoulshine8949]

I love his mind!!!!! He just gets it and like fully understands it.

[@janhviljoen]

Would have loved to hear the questions the students asked

[@jkeboy5097]

I use to have that same Laptop OMG! Latitude 9100 single Core Pentium 4 you sir are wise indeed.

[@jkeboy5097]

He paid extra for the blue cover that was when dell was trying to give customization.

[@mjl7810]

i like his laptop, it looks like it is made before the universe began, maybe it makes sense because he speaks the truth out of it

[@maryannmicillo8107]

Jordan Peterson is the best.

[@Robert_H_Brown]

Thank you Jordan Peterson

[@justeunautremecjusteunautr5067]

Mindblowing stuff.

[@optimist5183]

Thank you Jordan and Ephesians for bringing to light what God does not want for me as a wife and the love he intended for me to have from this day forward 💜

[@RomanowRomanow1]

he is explaining how I feel when playing a pvp game

[@AntonApostolov]

been there done that. so lucky to snap one day and call it quits. it kills you slowly

[@kaelanbarr2192]

From 3.06 to 5.14 he gives a good summary on the nature of myth

[@GS-st9ns]

Priceless priceless

[@avimae4225]

I just finished my divorce two weeks ago from an admitted narcissist. During the separation he felt necessary to regurgitate all the nastiness that he had done during our marriage. Multiple affairs. So-called business trips to Vietnam where he participated in every debauchery offered including the four-legged kind. Pissing away money, bankrupting us and last but not least he confessed to 6 people that have been having sex with our Shepherd. Rumor has it that he married a sex worker while he was in Vietnam and still married to me. My ex is the epitome of nastiness! I developed for autoimmune problems in a central nervous system problem because of the stress. I don't care that he has bad mouth me to his family I want nothing to do with them and I will never see them again :-) Narcs are smooth. I'd rather be single! The second half will be better than the first half!

[@michaelnewman6936]

What is his cultural background? Who does that?

[@carlyellisemarie]

So sorry you went through this!! They're unbelievable!

[@j_freed]

Michael Newman - a culture with dysfunctional parents that are indulgent, overbearing etc.

[@Kinghassz]

Michael Newman thats irrelivent, a narcissist can be from any race

[@ShadowTiburon]

OMG, i feel for you. Narcs destroy others.😣

[@NazwaBricksZajeta]

Jordan I can't see what's on the screen ;_;

[@roymillsjnr5172]

Learnt so much from jordon

[@aijalacgalve269]

He would be my hero

[@gloriasangermano3687]

Hes so nice.

[@redremi83]

So I'm in the belly of the chaos monster... And I have left the toxic relationship...

[@imbrakingthrough2152]

Block all the fuckers out of your life even if it feels wrong ! They’ll eat you up for lunch if you don’t:D And He’s so right- I started to like him - respect ✊🏼

[@imbrakingthrough2152]

Thank you 🙏🏻- that means I did it right- I discontinued contact with all evil before they made me crazy suicidal

[@GoldenDawnTarot]

Holy.. WOW. This guy literally just explained the exact mechanical schematic map behind the personality transplant

[@nighteatingyou]

This was more on the subject of the conceptual structure of an individual.

[@woolfulrebellion]

Was in this situation. Left and I'm starting over, from an absolute hell.

[@moogledoodles]

Right there with you girl

[@woolfulrebellion]

@@moogledoodles Prayers, and love to you

[@moogledoodles]

@@woolfulrebellion Blessings💙 I am only just now beginning my journey.. How have you been holding up?

[@woolfulrebellion]

@@moogledoodles it's difficult but I'm still going💙

[@moogledoodles]

@@woolfulrebellion I’m sorry to hear it’s tough still, but moving forward is all we can do no matter how bad it hurts 😩 Starting over is never easy, but may this be a time for rebuilding and loving yourself.

[@tedkernan6420]

They can rescue themselves if they chose to "strive for the greatest possible good".

[@jheyer6557]

started watching jordan peterson at 13 best decision of my adolescent life

[@Rimonek6893]

Excellent content but can we please see the screen and listen to the questions from the audience as well to understand the answers in right perspective please?

[@maplenook]

Your body knows !

[@milo8371]

Thank god for the internet.......

[@Gasta1983]

I know right. It's been decades since Internet is around, but I still admire it. What a lucky fucking generation I am. Being in a third world country and listening, watching, an intellectual from a first world country in the real time is such a bless.

[@enriquesuarez7113]

@@Gasta1983 you are in a third world country? damn... im sorry dude

[@MrsAppetite]

We - who listen - would like to see the pics you are showing.... also! PS love your lectures.

[@sushi603]

I feel so suffocated with my toxic covert narcissistic mom....wherever she goes she brings chaos and division...i finally cut all contact with her

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Same.

[@jamestang96]

In a world where toxicity is so apparent. Derived from insecurities, fears, weaknesses. I wish we all remember and stay true to our vision, character and competence, irregardless of the poison circulating around us, even if they seem so real, despite the possibly good naturedness of their intentions. Intention isn't enough if it meant the peril of another. I wish we thrive and ignite in flames, without unknowingly perpetuating toxicity. We are the stars among the universe, always will be, always have been.

[@Joefest99]

Wow! 😲

[@f1ctioN12]

wow, 100% true

[@heddahalinen1739]

Standing ovation.

[@christopher5863]

Unfortunately this describes myself in a marriage with a wife that has givin me many chances. Alcohol abuse and/ or growing up around my alcoholic mother who I used to fight with all the time has turned me into a complete toxic asshole torwards my wife. Hoping to rebuild myself and fix my wrongs but utterly terrified I've procrastinated the repair far to long.

[@cteresa2036]

The fact you acknowledge this is a step

[@Odthean]

Hey man. My heart goes out to you. You have to want to change and work at it every day. You CAN do this. I believe in you.

[@christopher5863]

100 days sober and things are getting much better, marriage is on much better ground then before. Thanks for support !

[@Odthean]

@@christopher5863 Dude that's great news! Sounds like you are doing the work. I'm proud of you.

[@4_3_2]

You still sticking to it??

[@zachammer666]

Maybe not a bronze axe, but what about a rune scimitar?

[@raneemta8341]

Does anybody knows where can I get the full lecture ? And what’s the name of this lecture (not only the subject discussed)?

[@wakawoo12]

Is...is that a 2003 Dell 5100?

[@Koeras16]

Those recordings are old

[@kalebpollum8904]

Koeras True, but he mentions the Avengers films, the first of which came out in 2012. So that computer would be at least 9 years old at the time of recording. Maybe he's just excessively frugal.

[@afuckingnameplz]

Well, it does the job.

[@jayvega1415]

Fun fact- the avengers have been around in cartoons and in comics for yeeeeeeeaaaaaarrrssss

[@kalebpollum8904]

Yes, but he mentions the film specifically.

[@alexnezhynsky9707]

Ha ha that's a hilarious thumbnail!

[@christinehaigh9807]

They've gone beyond the point of anger and dangerous.

[@c39v26]

Explain

[@idkwth5056]

i hope he comes back soon

[@anng7305]

at :40 what does that look mean? he says “they can’t be rescued from hell” and the most pained and anguished look. What is that all about?

[@hullinstruments]

Wow you really look like “early Nash bridges don johnson” in this!

[@loricrockett-owens5117]

Perfect example. Someone that befriends u that weasles their way into your life and slowly becomes friends with people u know behind your back. And that person that befriends u makes an excuse to break your friendship.. and low and behold...u see the people u know being all buddy buddy with that person...and they leave u high and dry. Yeah been there many times.

[@loricrockett-owens5117]

I guess u could say that's why I'm not socially active so much.

[@Noname-lk2ol]

😂 that happened to my friend

[@plutonium120]

maybe you were the bad friend and didnt deserve those friends to begin with.

[@BrotherTree1]

The problem is that befriender, not you. Sounds to me that the "weasler" struggles with self-validation and hence the weaseling around and discarding and reeling of people here and there. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I think it'll help you grow and realise your self-worth and thus what it means to develop and have a more healthier relationship with yourself and to find your ideal self before you're more equipped and know yourself more which then pertains, as a result of psychological projection (positive and productive equivalent in this case), to you finding your ideal people or groups that you can have ideal relationships with, preferably more solid, supportive, genuine and healthier than the ones you previously had.

[@angelaadamson-lowe89]

Not that I have any friends now but when I did I kept them separate. Also don't have everyone you know on your Facebook.

[@scottwwsi]

Jordan is plugged in..

[@mazklassa9338]

With all the wisdom in the world, I wonder what on earth Jordan experienced while growing up to make him articulate his lessons in such a cynical doomsday kind of way? I can't knock him at all but I do get a sense that his outlines always contain mortally threatening caveats in them. Maybe it's too hard-core for my brain or ego to accept, but by heavens I'm trying, I really am. Sometimes I just want to return to being Peter Pan, even though I'm touching 40 now. How on earth or when will I know I've made my breakthrough? Let's say I achieve the most difficult accomplishment I have ever undertaken, and I'm still unfulfilled? Now am I the one who's being cynical in my disbelief or doubt as to big things going right in my life? Help.

[@jameswang9360]

Mazklassa, just my 2 cents; what if you end up unfulfilled? Chances are you will, but you could argue that’s how it’s supposed to go. Think of your life like an onion. As you move through life, you peel back layers and discover deeper layers of yourself right up until death. For example; a young man may grow up completely degenerate and all he looks for is his next drug fix. Then, he finds love and turns his life around. He thinks his life is now complete. He gets bored, the relationship falls apart and he goes through a wealth building phase so he wants to start a business. He achieves wealth and is content for awhile, but realizes he is empty, so focuses on nonprofit work to “give back to society”. Eventually, he ends up meditating in the mountains in Thailand. Rather than seeing this man’s life as a failure, you can argue that this process of self-actualization & self-discovery is completely normal (maybe it’s even the ideal process through life...arguably better than working in a dead end job for 30 years & married to someone you tolerate, only to retire wondering what might have been...). Another possible answer to your question is this; if you’d rather not go through life “peeling back the layers of the onion”, you might want to look at what motivates you & what you value, then build your life around it. For example my top 5 priorities are 1)wealth building 2) time with family 3)physical health 4) spending time with family 5)raising kids someday and passing on my legacy. Now as far as what the end will look like in each of these, I have no idea. But I know as long as I’m aware of what matters to me (and these could change as I go through life...and that’s ok!) then I know I’m atleast 1)on the right track 2)not wasting my time (since I’m proactively pursuing what I think is important...which is much better than the alternative of being unaware and drifting through life). Focus on the process & identify with the “thing that changes” & don’t be a perfectionist about it. Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy through over analyzing & the anxiety that results.

[@shonkysidewayssam6134]

One of the best books for reading body language was given to me by my Dad (Written in the 70’s). Has enabled me to read body language to a degree it almost feels like a secret power. Nose scratching (either not completely sure what I am telling you is true, or I am bullshitting to you), arms crossed (I am in disagreement with you), holding object in front of me (I feel threatened by you) etc. Person walking slowly (purposefully), “poker faced”, strong posture, hands/arms by side, semi-cocked/gripped fists (I could belt the crap out of someone if needed be). 😝

[@lillysnet9345]

What book is that,please.

[@anyapi987]

We need to know that book!

[@juanbotero4154]

This is the most metaphorical commentary i've ever heard about anything

[@TheCapnMorgan]

Yo how do I take one of his courses?

[@colbymarsh2074]

The hand gestures really take it to another level with how high I am

[@kristine6996]

You have to admit, the man has his own style 👍.

[@csld7107]

fax

[@raduminteuan4792]

When he says that when some people are stuck for so much time in toxic relationships that they are done. Does he reffer that is possible that you get co-dependent to that specific evil and you will not be able to recover even if you break up and have a healthy relationship?

[@cornbreadisbetterthanpizza6866]

Well that or that you become so docile and compliant that there is simply no possibility you will ever leave the abusive relationship.

[@raduminteuan4792]

@@cornbreadisbetterthanpizza6866 it can't be right... It has to be possible for some people to have a healthy relationship afterwards... or you get forced to get over if the ''toxic partner'' leaves them

[@cornbreadisbetterthanpizza6866]

@@raduminteuan4792 I think for him to say "you're done" was being a little hyperbolic I'd agree, but I have met many people (mostly women) who get caught in a cycle where they keep picking abusive partners, because they have cultivated some mentality that gravitates them towards toxic people (such as a so low confidence that they keep going out with guys who act ultra confident, desire to be told what to do about almost literally everything, a feeling that anything less than a completely dangerous partner is boring, ect). The porn stars are often past abuse victims who now have themselves abused for money and fame, and the people who consume porn are often guys who either can't get chicks or guys who are in toxic relationships and need a release valve.

[@raduminteuan4792]

@@cornbreadisbetterthanpizza6866 Wow, that is a hell of an answer. Unfortunately I can also conclude that I was most atracted by difficil women, very capable but impulsive and with the need to control things. The nice ones I thought as dull and by coincidence they were not as "sexy", or didn't set me "in love" long therm. Time has a funny characteristic that it passes by a lot faster when you are in a bad place mentally or you are confused in a roller coaster type of relationship and then you get where Peterson said that you can't determine if the situation is ok or bad by any standards. How much is your fault and how much tje partner's?. People who suffered from early childhood have a much higher tolerance to whitsstand hurtfull situations so, if for one would be unbearable, for other would be ok. Then how do you determine how much it is ok to suffer? I find it so hard to answer myself objectively and not be so damn influenced about the attachment or fear of beeing lonely, missing the partner or fear of not finding a more apropriate one. For marying having kids(also a big question mark because many people want them because society and your primitive instincts tell you that you should). My body's reactions were damn bad when put in the scenery of breakup but at 27 I also feel that i am tired and stressed that a big decision is knocking. Already regreted loosing someone for a long time and that persons character was flawless( at that age i just wanted to move on and have fun). My 7 year now partner is pretty narcisistic, and sometimes vulcanic . Very strong and knows what she wants but demanding and impulsive even manipulative( salesperson by birth). With all the therapy it is still so hard of me to decide. Been threatened so many times last year that she leaves as a trade currency when we got in steaming arguments. Besides that, a serious, happy, orderly, very carying with her family and charity if the case person. So it's just contraries. I know I have an anxious type of attachment by now so it's hard to be objective. She is very career driven and she wants to be the leader so its exausting often. She oftenly speakes about how bad she wants kids and that she will be a great mother. She is only 25 and wants the first before 27. Seemed to me people now wait to live a little longer before. But anyways the present is not that intense to us. I miss living in the moment sometimes. Felt like sharing that, I hope to not have taken advantage of your time.

[@cornbreadisbetterthanpizza6866]

@@raduminteuan4792 No, that was great. I guess I can get your point of view as well. Some people do have a greater pain tolerance, and that definitely has to be taken into consideration. Hope you two can work out your problems (if you still want to keep going with the relationship).

[@tofix3308]

This vedio was like" ohhhhhh shit "that's exactly how I feel 😂💔💔💔😢