JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis realise something about dwarves

[@EleanorMortonable]

If you enjoyed and want to help me keep making these, you can always ko-fi.com/eleanormorton

[@mechanicaldavid4827]

Done!

[@EleanorMortonable]

@@mechanicaldavid4827 thank you!

[@alphagt62]

I could almost see that pipe in your grasp!

[@mrsmmoose6775]

Sorry Eleanor, I tried but the payment page is set up to disallow guest checkout if you're in the UK. As I don't have a PayPal account I couldn't make the payment.

[@EleanorMortonable]

@@mrsmmoose6775 That's ok! Please don't worry about it! The fact that you're enjoying my videos is more than enough!

[@tobybartels8426]

This is why _The Hobbit_ is for both children and adults: it has a map with drawings on it.

[@LincolnDWard]

To be fair, so do most collected editions of the _Narnia_ books

[@Whimpy13]

It's not a proper map unless it has dragons on the bits far from the center of it. _You know I would've made the map bigger but you know, the dragons kept eating my paint._

[@joefish6091]

If only it had been paint by numbers...

[@gargapapa1867]

I know this meant to be a joke but Tolkien did write The Hobbit as a tale for his kids

[@tobybartels8426]

@@gargapapa1867: Yes, at first I was trying to reconcile how it could have a map in it when I know that it's for kids, but then I realized that there were drawings on the map, and I had my answer.

[@stanleysdad]

“All dwarfs have beards and wear many layers of clothing. Their courtships are largely concerned with finding out, in delicate and circumspect ways, what sex the other dwarf is.” Terry Pratchett

[@wickedwonderland9831]

All I could think about during this bit, haha

[@laurentiusfritz3673]

Was looking for this quote lol

[@Tomonkey4]

Personally, my favorite Dwarven head-cannon is that the only reason Dwarves haven't gone extinct is their proclivity for getting so drunk that they no longer care about genders. It then comes down to the statistical probability of reproduction plus their long lifespans keeping the race going.

[@pe4194]

based lol

[@unpaintedleadsyndrome]

Dwarfs???

[@DarkLordoftheMeme]

"I have one female dwarf" "How do the Dwarves reproduce?" "She's a very busy girl"

[@EgoEroTergum]

La Smurfette.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

Doesn't gimli say that they have issues with population decline as there is a ratio of 2/1 males to females ,and dwarves being married to their work, should the man of their fancy (if a fancy they have) isn't responsive, then they would simply just do without?

[@windalfalatar333]

@@EgoEroTergum Yes, but why doesn't Smurfette have boobs if she's constantly gagging for it? Also, wouldn't it be better for Papa Smurf to be the only Alpha of the pack and have loads of Smurfettes at his beck and call so far as Smurf reproductivity goes. It would unfortunately necessitate the abandonment of the Smurf monogamous relationship so far as male Smurfs were concerned. Maybe Smurfette's mammary glands are only visible outside the body when she has conceived like an orangutan.

[@damagingthebrand7387]

@@EgoEroTergum I would hit Dis. ???

[@balrogthane]

@@damagingthebrand7387 NERRRRRD 😂😂😂😁

[@EgoEroTergum]

"Something written to be enjoyed by children, and children alone, will be enjoyed by no-one." - C.S. Lewis

[@silverjohn6037]

Vs Enid Blyton who didn't care about the opinion of anyone over the age of 12;).

[@charlottewolery558]

Was Spongebob Squarespants written to be enjoyed by adults too? Or was that just a happy accident?

[@pooroldlu]

@@charlottewolery558 there are no happy accidents, only mista…wait that’s not right.

[@arikalamari19]

this is some serious male ideology there in this citation, not everything is to be enjoyed in this world leave things to the imagination

[@R3dp055um]

Tell it to the author of Portnoy's Complaint.

[@CaptWesStarwind]

I just love the pipe. Well, the lack there of. Some people might feel the need to throw money away on props, but not you, a true actor. I seriously love these and your whole channel, but it's the Tolkien sans pipe that just kills me..

[@rarbiart]

the invisible props department is the best!

[@tabitas.2719]

Reminds me of Shakespearean theatre! :)

[@williammkydde]

@Capt'Wes Starwind: The pipe is presumed. Like those female dwarf/ve/s.

[@TiffyVella1]

Hah! I'm watching late at night on my phone and my blurry eyes SWORE they saw a pipe.

[@Whimpy13]

@@rarbiart Everyone agrees because noone wants to be the one pointing out the fact that, for the last 4 years, noone's been able to _find_ the Invisible Props Department.

[@tubian323]

The absence of female dwarf characters has given rise to the belief that ARE no female dwarves and the dwarves just spring out of the ground! Which of course, is ridiculous.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

"it's their beards"

[@jamesdewane1642]

They spring out of the imagination. Motile dwarves are just the fruiting bodies of a very complex moldy fungi. Their beards produce spores which can only sprout in darkness, hence the love of excavation.

[@johnmccnj]

I'm imagining a rather large trebuchet, coupled with an equally large net.

[@TiffyVella1]

Maybe they are all stuck down in the scone mines.

[@Anon26535]

@@jamesdewane1642 I thought it was Orks that grew from spores.

[@NiaJustNia]

I hope the next JRRT and CSL video is about the time CSL read the early book and found out Pippin died (horribly crushed to death by a troll), and begged JRRT to change it because it was devastating, so he changed it so Gimli saves Pippin. CSL did us a real solid there

[@mechanicaldavid4827]

_And_ he dedicated "That Hideous Strength" to real life trolls, who as we know are actually harmless, always.

[@WardNightstone]

Yea cant agree more

[@lynnjohnson9727]

As the best friend of a writer, I am proud to say that I have saved many characters by sending death threats for the sake of their readers. Glad to be of service!

[@KevinSmith-qi5yn]

@@mechanicaldavid4827 I am sorry to tell you this, but there is a movement in the online troll community. They are making gains so when you make the snide remark that they are ugly on the outside just like on the inside, they can post pictures removing you of that fantasy.

[@allieasbill2055]

Yes! When I first read that scene in RotK I was like “I wanted realism, but you can’t kill my baby!”

[@anniev6133]

🤣🤣🤣 "yes, I could tell from the maps". Just reading The Belgariad by David Eddings at the moment. He felt like maps were an important inclusion in adult fiction too apparently.

[@WardNightstone]

So did Robert Jordan to the point he released a book that was a in effect a history and geography text book for the wheel of time

[@theKobus]

oh man nostalgia

[@polgara6]

Oh my god I loved those books! If that wasn’t already clear from my username lol

[@1danwynn]

David Eddings! I didn't know anyone else had ever read his books!

[@jbrisby]

But Narnia had maps too.

[@d.f.4830]

I never thought I’d fall in love with “Mervyn Peake’s coming in later” as a recurring gag, but here we are

[@lemonferret]

I love how these inexplicably always end with Mervyn Peake coming in.

[@jedinxf7]

By the cats of Queen Beruthiel, that Mervyn Peake is like the Radagast of the Inklings.

[@alisaurus4224]

Goes about with bird shit down his face?

[@rav-7072]

The CS Lewis being a naive good boi and JRR being a snarky asshole duo is growing on me...

[@liamdownes1475]

I mean, JRR did used to run down the road in full armour including sword…I’d say it’s in character!

[@jkelsey555]

The Mervyn Peake running joke has me dead, well done as always

[@petlahk4119]

I'm lost at it every time because I know nothing about who Mervyn Peake is or what he wrote about lmfao.

[@jkelsey555]

@@petlahk4119 I googled them after the JRR Tolkien/ CS Lewis videos, but before that I'd never heard the name in my life lol

[@TotallyFictional]

@petlahk @jkelsey55 I can highly recommend Titus Groan. He is a wonderfully visual and poetic writer.

[@teaz3139]

@@petlahk4119 He wrote Gormenghast, which fucking rocks.

[@annalieff-saxby568]

Read "Titus Groan" and "Gormenghast" - unforgettable.

[@johnsmith8906]

I love that Tolkien's main riposte to the whole dwarves/dwarfs thing was pretty much: "I helped write the dictionary...where do you get off thinking you know more about words than me‽"

[@trojjer]

Did I just see a wild interrobang in a KZbin comment‽ Oh holy crap, it's on my Android keyboard and I only just noticed...

[@mitchellminer9597]

@@trojjer ¿Where? Choose symbols and hold down on the question mark‽ Who woulda thunkit‽ Thanks!

[@themarlboromandalorian]

‽ Huh. Cool. Yeah. Walrus.

[@johnsmith8906]

@@trojjer Welcome to my conspiracy of spreading the interrobang in day to day life. Use it with pride.

[@clartblart3266]

‽ ...Huh

[@tobybartels8426]

We all know that C. S. Lewis's friends called him ‘Jack’, but we don't know anything of the sort about Tolkien, so it stands to reason that his friends must have called him ‘J. R. R.’. ETA: If you're going to comment that Lewis called him ‘Tollers’, about a dozen people have already beat you to it.

[@jedinxf7]

I like to think if you were really tight you could call him Reuel

[@tobybartels8426]

@@jedinxf7: His acquaintances call him John, his friends call him Ronald, his besties call him Reuel.

[@MattieAMiller]

i've heard that as children his classmates would call him jrrt rhymes with dirt. no idea how he felt about that name though.

[@MrHodoAstartes]

Good friends were allowed to address him as Professor Tolkien. Most people were not permitted to speak in his presence, you see.

[@WardNightstone]

I am kinda amused by the idea they could have called him Proffesor Tolkien

[@DrewKime]

"In Appendix A." And he thought maps were the clue.

[@TadeuszCantwell]

Wonderful impressions, the interactions between these get better and better. Just love the hero joke.

[@WhyX11]

Lovely little chat! I am sorry about the fictional cat :(

[@tomgymer7719]

Love this so much, the fact that there is one named female dwarf in Tolkien is a great piece of trivia I've used in quizzes before.

[@leonmayne797]

I don’t know why I laughed so much but I was expecting Tolkien to say something else about Peake’s writing but then he just says he ran over his cat.

[@jimcat68]

With what? Would Tolkien descend to the level of using such a dirty, foul-smelling, vulgar device as the horseless carriage (which was clearly invented by goblins)?

[@FedralBI]

I LOVE these JRR/CS interactions. Your sense of humor is fantastic. Keep doing what you are doing.

[@estherandreasen366]

I have this weird theory that one of the dwarves in the Hobbit (let's go with Nori) is actually female but it just never comes up so Bilbo doesn't ever find out. I mean, it works with Tolkien's lore about Dwarves.

[@kbee8517]

As little as I can say I know about Tolkien’s universe, I honestly find this theory charming.

[@BankruptMonkey]

This is my favorite headcannon of any literature ever. One could even say the fictional historian narrator Tolkien kind of wrote from the perspective of might not have known one of the dwarves was a woman.

[@Jambobist]

Got to read some Terry Pratchett for those strong female dwarves/dwarfs!

[@netwitchtatjana4661]

Cheery Littlebottom

[@arcadeinvader8086]

Rhys Rhysson

[@GraceKugrena]

“How do they reproduce, asexually?” 😂 CS LEWIS is my absolute fave, his innocence in your skits is so charming

[@jhbadger]

CS didn't marry until he was in his 50s (and as far as we know, that was his first romantic relationship). So the innocence might have been true to reality as well.

[@m.j.piazza7853]

Reading his nonfiction stuff, he does talk quite a bit about sexual morality and the relationship between married people, but he tends to stay out of women’s affairs (he declined to speak on contraception because he was “not a woman nor even a married man”).

[@GraceKugrena]

@@jhbadger Great fun fact, I didn’t know that, bless him ☺️

[@silviasanchez648]

@@m.j.piazza7853 Well, that's lovely.

[@WatchMaga]

He did have at least one sexual escapade in his youth. It gets a brief mention in his autobiography, Surprised by Joy.

[@cgrisetti87]

You are single handedly throwing off the Google search statistics for Mervyn Peak

[@masteronone2079]

Dis must be nearly as busy as Smurfette sowing jealousy and all that.

[@patrickpullman8348]

By far, my favorite comedian. Can't watch these on the bus or other public places as those around me will think I've gone off the deep end from laughing.

[@jamesgardner2101]

-and that would be a problem somehow?

[@josephineczykoski666]

When I noticed "JRR" was no longer holding a pipe but was still holding his hand like he had a pipe, I nearly died laughing.

[@gindling1054]

Thanks for the shout out to Mervyn! Can't imagine the name of his cat. Long live Gormenghast!

[@GunFunZS]

I'm only ever seen random sequels floating around. I've never seen whatever the first book is in the wild.

[@nataliakozie6045]

"you know they're for adults, don't you?" killed me on the spot x)

[@dulcerolindeaux9700]

Terry Pratchett's books theorized that dwarves all have fluffy facial hair and they only have one pronoun, but there are different bits of anatomy under all that chainmail.

[@mechanicaldavid4827]

We have reached Peake representation...

[@stephenjones101]

As a huge fan of both Lewis and Tolkien, going back to my teens in the 1960s, I find this both hilarious and respectful of the two great writers. All of your videos are consistently funny. Thanks a ton!

[@leGUIGUI]

"Yes, I could tell from the maps" this killed me.

[@camillephilippon9594]

-"Why didnt they fly the eagles to Mordor?" -"Oh shut up!"

[@robertcadman2195]

This is niche as hell. And such an original sketch set up. I love it. I’m a mazzive fan of ms Morton. The funniest, cleverest, comic in these Irish isles.

[@SickIntentions]

It took me like... waay too long to realize there was no actual pipe in your hand XD

[@pyramidus]

These two are becoming a series. I love it.

[@pixelsthered]

Was wondering how you'd fit in the Mervyn Peake bit

[@repulo]

The problem is that now she MUST do something about Gormenghast. Something really funny, I mean 🙂

[@StephanieJeanne]

😂 "Yes, I could tell by the pictures." Love these!

[@colinnr123]

Mr. Tumnus family tree begs a few questions too.

[@SW74mobile]

These exchanges are hilarious! Been binge watching you for the last week or so. Funny!!

[@danhurl1349]

The pipe miming is done so well it’s beautiful

[@mascadadelpantion8018]

I love that she will never get a prop pipe and she just keeps panamizing that she has a fake pipe

[@DP-bi8qt]

Love the Dwarfs vs. Dwarves part.

[@themarlboromandalorian]

It may have been dwarfs... But Tolkien did write the dictionary so it's now dwarves. Thank him for the etymology of walrus.

[@heatherp540]

I very much enjoy your CS Lewis / JRR Tolkien convos, love both authors and these make me chuckle every time. Thank you!

[@jakedee4117]

No female Orcs either. And they never got into the nasty details of the Uruk-hai human-orc hybrids. Peter Jackson had to do that whole scene of them being born out of the earth to cover up some very unpleasant implications about how all that cross breeding got done. Hey Elenaor ! Do a video about that if you dare !

[@stockade-5897]

I like fungi orcs. Warhammer taught me a lot about them.

[@EleanorMortonable]

I'm not edgy enough

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@EleanorMortonable you could have CS Lewis quote Gimli "what do you suppose they pop out of the ground?"

[@EgoEroTergum]

The implications are correct, and it's because people ignore them that they falsely then conclude that Tolkien was creating a naturally evil race with incorrect implications. There are female orcs, and Uruks are made from human-ork pairing. I know this, because there are numerous human-elf pairings, and orcs are just abused and uglied elves. Elves that exist in a culture of systemic abuse and trauma, till they become their damage to survive, and pass it from one generation to the next under the watch eye of an immortal abusive dictator who keeps them from healing inside or out with enchantments and poison. The bright spot of this, is that if you managed to find an orc or Uruk baby, and took them away to raise right, you end up raising nothing worse and an ugly little elf. Ugly, and likely with some unfortunate emotional and psychological tendencies from generations of unnatural selection pushing for psychopaths; but likely nothing that couldn't be mitigated magically the same way it was induced. Tell your adopted elven daughter she's pretty, and worth it: that the stubbiness is not from malnutrition but from a hobbit in her family tree; and with a little counseling, she'll never grow up thinking of herself as an orc.

[@mildlymarvelous]

Uruk-hai are actually the offspring of male orcs and female goblins iirc

[@logoseven3365]

Pillars of modern feminist literature.

[@machetas]

At least he didn't run over Lovecraft's cat.

[@MrHodoAstartes]

This is implying Lovecraft would for one travel, and then also meet people.

[@derekmills5394]

Or Schrödinger's

[@ufoclips1]

@@derekmills5394 * Schrodingers cat is definitely dead now.

[@SubjugatedAuthority]

Pipe pantomime is the best part

[@kevinslater4126]

"Are you saying Dwarfs?" Oh god. Tolkien sure hated that one.

[@cj_comments]

After this, J.R.R decided he was going to go a step further and canonize that female dwarves have beards. Just needed that extra one-up.

[@nymphrodellsalavin]

Glad someone mentioned this. In the fellowship of the ring (I believe when they're in the mountains heading toward Moria) Gimli mentions that when dwarf women go out into the world they tell nobody they're female. Just a fun little scene that people keep forgetting...

[@kitgoldsbury9363]

As a suggestion can you do one where you have CS ask JRR to justify the purpose of Tom Bombadil?

[@russellwatkins854]

My lord you're hilarious! Fun fact, some credit Tolkein for creating the word "dwarves" as the plural of dwarf. The proper English at the time for the plural of dwarf was dwarfs. But, supposedly, Tolkein liked the look and sound of "dwarves" better and thus used that in his writings. As a result of his popularity, it seems "dwarves" is now (usually) accepted with the same legitimacy as the original "dwarfs". At least when referring to the fantasy/fictional species of humanoids.

[@joaojeffersoncavalcantiwan812]

Words ending in fs have plural with ves, wasnt just liking more. Was just "grammar nazing".

[@izzy-cd1oh]

In the prologue of his book he actually says that he is going to use 'dwarves' even though 'dwarfs' is correct :)

[@devilsolution9781]

Youve never been to wales if you think them fimctional friend.

[@omnitroph1501]

The SAME legitimacy? My friend, you underestimate Tolkien! In the circles I frequent, at least, "Dwarfs" is now viewed as simply incorrect, in favor of "Dwarves."

[@StarryEyed0590]

@@omnitroph1501 If I see "dwarfs" I assume it's referring to real, actual humans with dwarfism. If I see "dwarves"I assume it's referring to a fictional fantasy race

[@GuntherRommel]

Holy smokes, Miss Viral! Congrats on 39k! Love JRR and CS Lewis chats.

[@piccalillipit9211]

YEAH wow - recognition she deserves...

[@lorcostridge2811]

This is the only video I’ve seen of you so far and it already merits a sub. This has got to be the best Tolkien impression I’ve seen in my life!!!

[@AIFMusician]

“Are you saying DWARVES?!” 😂😂😂

[@glashoppah]

How did it take me so long to find this channel? Presently sharing it everywhere. Ms. Morton, you are hilarious.

[@MykePagan]

These Tolke8n;Lewis bits are hilarious, and the Mervyn Peake references take them to the next level :-)

[@ToqTheWise]

I just like that CS Lewis called him "JRR" when really he went by Ronald!

[@katherinethehuman2585]

This just confirmed that you are the only person on KZbin whom I can consistently go to for entertainment and not suffer mental damage from

OMG I'm dying to see Mervyn Peake! Agonising!

[@theosprey7111]

How you manage to make the pipe smoking noises and mouth gestures without a pipe is really hilarious.

[@derekmills5394]

If this young lady does not make Qi or any comparable witty show for comedians of intelligence, then there is no justice!

[@GunFunZS]

I think what she does is better. Qi tends to devolve towards cheap innuendo.

[@rimservices]

overqualified

[@wardkerr2456]

I have been hoping to meet this justice you speak of.

[@Anon26535]

*NO, THERE'S JUST US*

[@thearnorianruby4681]

I thoroughly enjoyed this. I did not expect it. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

[@rksnj6797]

I love your conversations between JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis! Brilliant!

[@Grinedel]

"Appendix A" that was SO FUNNY i loved it!!

[@mikenickolaus1587]

That was good, the "dwarfs" and "dwarves" was especially clever.

[@bernardputersznit64]

marvelous impersonations - love JRRT's pipe - more of these please my dear

[@paloma-alfaro]

“Mervyn Peake’s coming in later” will always be iconic. I love you Eleanor!

[@Isrjisoneavalable]

I’m so glad you’ve added another C.S and J.R video!

[@keign9470]

So happy your channel is growing, it is well-deserved!

[@Mostrichkugel]

Priceless ping pong over the pronunciation of the plural of dwarf, Tolkien trying to defend his misspelling. Very clever gag.

[@ApocryphalDude]

I love this low-key backtalking

[@catw4729]

Loved your dwarfs/dwarves. My mother and a friend as young teachers in the early 60s discovered they had been led astray by Tolkien when the headmistress had to point out to them that the plural is not dwarves. They had rather assumed he was correct in his spelling.

[@omnitroph1501]

The plural is, in fact, dwarves.

[@PadaV4]

If the majority of the people use dwarves than that indeed is the correct spelling. Its not scholars or dictionaries which dictate how a language functions, the people using it do.

[@catw4729]

@@PadaV4 I think you may have missed that I was talking about events 60 years ago, not what the majority of people do now. Clearly my mother was at the front of the wave of the evolution of this spelling.

[@Sleepygraveyard]

I'm keep coming back to this video and want to like it more times, the intonation on "JRR" is something else

[@regan3873]

I love the Dwarves-Dwarfs joke/reference.

[@aranayailyaris73]

"you know they're for adults, don't you" CS Lewis got posthumously murdered

[@tuanyiji]

I’m so glad to find your channel and have been bingeing non-stop. I sent the link to my work group and they are all amazed by you ❤️

[@ishbel1409]

your characters are all so funny. And the timing in the dialogue too, the 'for children' 'for adults' bit.

[@eldorados_lost_searcher]

Damn. Now I have to go read Mervyn Peake so I can get the punchline. Oh well, such is life

[@JohnJones-oy3md]

I don't know how I found this nice lady's channel from across the pond, but I'm hooked!

[@kapitankapital6580]

It took me almost to a minute in to realise that Tolkien doesn't actually have a pipe in his hand

[@billsvoboda4459]

Genuine Tolkien Nerd humour!

[@MDisaster]

"You know they're for adults don't you" got a chuckle out of me

[@kerch-e]

That mime work was so good I didn't realize there wasn't a pipe till half way. Just a cupped hand an Morton pullin' a face.

[@DougSims]

It took me a minute and 41 seconds to realize that JRR didn’t actually have a pipe in his mouth.

[@luckycharms8020]

As a fan of both Lewis and Tolkien, this made me unreasonably happy

[@williamturner898]

I really love the CS Lewis/Tolkien chats. More please 🙏

[@eric_the_egggremlin]

this is splendid and hilarious and I will die on the hill that Tolkien's books have better female characters because at least he didn't write that Susan could no longer go to heaven because she hit puberty.

[@teshn1229]

She hadn't died yet...if I remember right

[@frederickschwarz3883]

You are Amazing Ms Morton [& Co.] I shall make a payment as soon as i scrape up an AMOUNT FRACTIONALLY COMMENSURATE with your TALENT!!!

[@markaudley-thewles5920]

You are a complete star. Laughed my non dwarf / dwarve heart out to this one . Mark.

[@DevinWardMusic]

My favorites are your Tolkien-Lewis videos!

[@popcorn485]

“Yes, I could tell from the maps.” 😂 OK, you got me to a T.

[@gazorpazorp9798]

Deep delve for Dis, very nice. Best skit yet, too!

[@JP2GiannaT]

Tolkien and Lewis both had works illustrated by Pauline Baynes (Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia, and Tolkien's Famer Giles of Ham). If I remember correctly, one recommended working with her to the other, but I can't remember which one worked with her first. Tolkien's maps were largely drawn by his son, Christopher.

[@talithakoum3922]

Was just going to comment this. There are even editions of LotR with Baynes' illustrations.

[@galev3955]

*matter of factl: "In appendix A" - this killed me

[@JohnBainbridge0]

I don't know why this channel is so mesmerizing, but there it is. I guess I'm hooked now then.