Jupiter Ascending Pitch Meeting

[@dlxmarks]

A movie so inept that it couldn't even kill off Sean Bean's character.

[@raskov75]

One does not simply allow Sean Bean to live.

[@MichaelSBaram]

No no, look at his eyes, he's dead inside.

[@assimilation9]

Sean Bean said he planned to stop doing roles where he died after Game of Thrones. Apparently he thought it was becoming too predictable.

[@BrigadoonZyphoon]

The bee's kill him off-screen.

[@utube7930]

Underrated comment

[@TheNinthGeneration1]

“Are you off your meds again?” “Hey shut up dad” New lore just dropped

[@stevenhayes7910]

😂😂

[@Lukasaske]

Of course! Nepotism! That's why all the movies are terrible!

[@zero11010]

They're already second cousins. If both things are true that ... says bad things about their family's dating practices.

[@siraaron4462]

Or y'know... He's off his meds.

[@TheSilverpuppeteer]

@@Lukasaske Now that they mentioned it, I do notice a resemblance between the two.

[@ThatDruidDude]

Really heartwarming to know, how benevolent Hollywood are giving 7 years old a chance to write script for their movies.

[@Dragon-Believer]

Sounds more like chatgpt.

[@skwills1629]

Given Recent Revelations Benevolence May Not be the Word, Libido May Be... Hollywood Producers Like'em Young.

[@jameswhitley4101]

@@Dragon-Believer Except language model technology was still quite primitive back when this movie was made.

[@Benjovi76]

I read that as heartworming, because he’s part dog

[@APS_Inc]

This is insulting to 7 year olds

[@Zso-VIII]

"Oh cool, I never saw this movie so this Pitch Meeting will tell me what it was about" One minute in: "What the actual fuck"

[@stevekirkpatrick1612]

It sure is about words. And some other words.

[@visebes9694]

It's not even a bad movie, it's just not that memorable.

[@monmothma3358]

​@@visebes9694I vividly remember Eddie Redmayne's scenes

[@mrsplashman8308]

@@visebes9694no I thought it was absolutely terrible

[@VladRadu-tq1pg]

@@visebes9694 you re insane..it s absolute dumpsterfire

[@DustyFox8]

"I thought he was part dog." "Yeah, but now he's got his wings back" Best line ever. 😅🤣😆

[@swampThaang]

Why is he still in the air while not flapping his wings??

[@DocTheHawk]

​@@swampThaangThey are synthetics given to warriors, not actual wings. The bee used to have them as well when they were in the royal army.

[@alex.g7317]

@@DocTheHawkthose were words

[@DustyFox8]

@@swampThaang cuz he's part dog. Dogs don't flap wings.

[@peterkrug4124]

Barf from SPACEBALLS made more sense than Caine Wise.🙄

[@severalwolves]

4:42 in the article shown at the end of the video, mila kunis said she knew Jupiter Ascending would flop before they started filming. I just went and read the article, and she says she knew it would flop _because the budget was cut at the last minute._ mila, I’m sorry but the budget wasn’t the problem - no amount of money was gonna save this script / premise from itself! haha

[@TF2CrunchyFrog]

Agreed. They still had a budget for gorgeous costumes and tons of CGI in J.A. But if your movie has a bland main protagonist who seems to be sleepwalking through the story with a disinterested expression (same problem the Twilight movies have) and the script can be pulled apart by a few logical questions, the CGI budget wasnt the issue...

[@syberslade3878]

@@TF2CrunchyFrog I want to agree but the Twilight franchise was very successful

[@maguffintop2596]

@@syberslade3878back when zombies were a thing and every actor tried acting like one.

[@PosthumanHeresy]

Yeah, that would have just been polishing a turd. Like shit, some of the best Classic Who episodes have a budget of whatever was left in the BBC couch cushions by Jimmy Savile's latest victims. The effects can be horrid and it doesn't matter if the plot is good.

[@syberslade3878]

@@maguffintop2596 hahahah good one

[@KirbyLinkACW]

"So you have a movie for me?" "No, sir, I don't."

[@carter_lovejoy]

“Amazi- wait, what?”

[@Mister-Red]

​@@carter_lovejoythat's because I have a TV show for you!

[@utube7930]

Barely interested

[@kardnails8729]

Pretty sure there is a pitch meeting that starts like that, I think it was one of the anniversary ones.

[@OratoryJamesIV]

Well, in the case of Jupiter Ascending, that is accurate.

[@cydranzer6027]

Still love the irony that in Jupiter ASCENDING she just spends the whole movie literally and figuratively falling.

[@darasen66]

Watching the movie I commented that if she fell one more time we'd have to rename her Lois Lane.

[@EmperorSeth]

She spends so much time getting kidnapped in her own movie that Princess Peach tells her to give it a rest.

[@AchedSphinx]

movie best viewed while upside down.

[@elfsong713]

And ends up in the same exact place where she started.

[@robertlee8519]

You have to watch it upside down

[@beerosaurusrex]

The bee on the computer monitor in the background. Producer guy is royalty.

[@taylorbrecht8049]

Only something bee-rosaurusrex would notice

[@KelpTheGreat]

I don't think that's a bee, I think it's the brand logo or something. It's on the monitor in multiple videos.

[@Alyssa-vd3sf]

For everyone saying they've never seen/heard of this movie, just know: there is so much insane stuff going on that this video could easily be tripled in length. This doesn't even touch on Jupiter's father being killed by the KGB, the giant lizard men, Caine's 'blacking out and killing royals by instinct' backstory, the third space sibling, or all the weird Oedipus complex vibes from the siblings.

[@dropkgirl7157]

I'd call it more than vibes, she's not technically his mother but he is still basically marrying his mother...and they're both fine with that...

[@siddharthnath7917]

This can't seriously all be in 1 movie, can it?

[@Alyssa-vd3sf]

@@dropkgirl7157 Fair point. And there's definitely at least an implication that it started back with the actual mother, at least in the case of Eddie Redmayne's character.

[@lennierofthethirdfaneofchu7286]

@@siddharthnath7917 Yes, it is. Very fast paced bad movie.

[@64324037]

​@@siddharthnath7917 you must watch it lol

[@pinky6758]

You forgot the part how she is not actually the mother of these siblings but just so happens to have, by pure coincidence, the DNA of their mother. And the in-movie reasoning is that if you take just enough planets and wait for just enough aeons, eventually any possible DNA-code will show up multiple times. And whatever random person just so happens to have the correct DNA by virtue of pure chance, that person is legally the ruler of Earth.

[@88Opportunist]

The movie is basically saying reincarnation is a thing. As in there are only so many DNA codes that eventually they start recycling.

[@ASageCalledQ]

LOL

[@burritodog3634]

i remember the dialogue where they explain they also have the ability to change genetics and create clones but they dont because its dangerous apparently

[@cattraknoff]

If they were just looking for one gene, maybe. Or maybe like a few key ones. Maybe even a few dozen. Okay. But EVERY SINGLE GENE? The odds against that are beyond astronomical. Even with billions of people there still isn't a reasonable chance of it happening. There still is barely a snowball's chance in hell at best.

[@moridin3336]

ah yes, the 1000 monkeys w/ 1000 typewriters explanation, but w/ DNA.

[@SerbAtheist]

I believe there is nothing more damning to be said about Jupiter Ascending than the fact that Honest Trailers simply narrated the entire plot of the movie and called it a day.

[@christimorgret7818]

:58 "I have no further questions about that" is the single best, most sanity-saving approach to this movie.

[@planetslime]

I said I got it.

[@TheValorism]

My fave 'GEEZZZ...those are words!' 😆😆

[@christimorgret7818]

@TheValorism also an excellent option

[@christimorgret7818]

@@planetslime this works, too

[@pbfoley]

Ha! He cut 3 minutes from this video with that line alone

[@Jarakin]

"Those are words" By far, the best and most coherent summary of this movie i have ever seen.

[@MGmirkin]

...a lot of words!

[@happyslapsgiving5421]

"She barely looks interested" killed me! 🤣🤣🤣

[@f0rth3l0v30fchr15t]

"Teacher says every time a bell rings, a weird dog-man gets his wings back because he had them for unexplained reasons and lost them for other unexplained reasons"

[@KhanGarth]

That's right, atta boy, weird dog guy who has wings for some strange reason!

[@jeffheffner5653]

All dogs go to heaven. So.

[@sabalghoo]

Wow wow wow...

[@TheDuckofDoom.]

@@sabalghoo Bow wow wow...

[@TickleMyResearch]

Heard this is ZuZu's voice lol

[@caesar7734]

“Kane got his wings back” “But I thought he was part dog” “Yep, and now he’s got his wings back”

[@spritemon98]

Brought to you by redbull

[@LuisSierra42]

He forgot his meds

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

Getting your wings back whilst trimming your beard of bees after cleaning toilets for no reason is... ... flight!

[@hazukichanx408]

Every time a lame abrahamicist loses their crappy denial of critical thinking, an angel falls, and a doggo gets its wings.

[@jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii]

He’s from Pegasus.

[@Sunless1337]

"hey shut up dad" Well, this explains why he never gets fired. xD

[@HowToChangeName]

Ohhh nepotism is TIGHT

[@korimiller379]

"So you have a movie for me?" "No I have a series of mostly unrelated plot points that might work in sequence..." "Good enough!"

[@XENOS_Indie_Game_Dev]

sounds written by AI

[@impeeratorii]

My favorite fan theory is that this was planned as a triolgy, each part focussing on one sibling, but the studio said "No way, were shelling out that much money, make it one movie first and we weill see..." It explains all the loos threads and repititions.

[@dsbmitchell]

@@impeeratoriiWow, that helps to make so much more sense

[@leob4403]

​@impeeratoriior or maybe the wachowskis were always hacks

[@carter_lovejoy]

I honestly thought that this movie already had a Pitch Meeting. Definitely one of the best comedies of the last decade!

[@utube7930]

Hah hah! Laugh at the palpable incompetence of the mega rich! oh snap you paid to see it.

[@attila0323]

Me too... I was like, isn't there already a PM? Is this a revisited one? No and no.

[@carineherman4048]

There was a fantastic honest trailer about this movie

[@VladRadu-tq1pg]

@@utube7930 legit no one i know ever watched this trash nvm paying for it

[@psonar]

It has a hilarious Honest Trailer that you may be remembering... possibly my favorite! There's a lengthy plot summary where there's a warning at the bottom saying "Actual Plot of the Movie" or something which cracks me up because the plot is just so insane it makes fun of itself.

[@TheCapnMorgan]

“The queen has a beard of bees” idk why I found that line utterly hilarious

[@brucebaker810]

Perhaps because 1) Queen Elizabeth was of the "female" human phenotype. Beards are typically s characteristic of the male human phenotype. And jumbling up phenotypes is TIGHT. And funny. 2) Queen Elizabeth is dead. So a beard of bees--rather than, say, globs of maggots consuming the decaying flesh of the former Sovereign of 12 countries--is an amusing twist.

[@Elalmadebudin]

02:40 I love how you sync the quote with the dialogue of the actual scene to demostrates that you're not making it up despite how absurd it sounds.

[@Shiestey]

It was definitely meant to be one of those “so dumb it’s cute” quotes you see in a lot of romance movies, but just turned out to be dumb and desperate sounding lmao

[@kevingray4980]

He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.”

[@BobbyJCFHvLichtenstein]

When I watched this movie, I literally had no idea what was going on... the entire time. This pitch meeting exhibits the absurdity of this movie very well lol

[@kopf-heldtotalneuro-logisc8479]

Accept same feelings here. lol And i am still lost. I just can´t get it - how this movie ever could come to life.

[@primmoore6232]

Sneak over to *Honest Trailers'* take on this train wreck. He gave up reviewing it, and just told the whole plot. Brilliantly hilarious.

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

Try some storytelling that actually DOES make sense. "Diamond Dragons". 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨

[@hazukichanx408]

Hearing it described like this, I'm getting those familiar "This started as someone's fanfiction" vibes. Could be an original story, but that general level of narrative ability... where it's really just "This would be cool, so it happens. And that would be cool, so it happens too." Little trace of any kind of red thread or cause-and-effect chains precipitating events, so much as just... a bunch of random stuff all thrown at the viewer until, at some point, it ends. A child's story, of sorts. Not bad, necessarily, but... incongruous.

[@-Gorby-]

I mean, the movie isn't really that hard to follow, it's just bizarre and silly.

[@iamgregory1299]

I need to see a pitch meeting done on Van Helsing (2004). I like the movie, but I also can see potential for a funny pitch meeting in it.

[@BlinkingEldrichRoses]

"You off your meds again?" Killed me

[@TheNinthGeneration1]

“Hey shut up dad!”

[@leebarbs7176]

That & "THOSE ARE MORE WORDS!"

[@waywardmind]

"shuddup dad"

[@utube7930]

One time I was off my meds and it killed me too

[@positivelynegative9149]

Oh no! Did it kill you because you're off your meds? 😲

[@caarthikraj8184]

This is my new favorite pitch meeting by far, the "this is gonna be a weird one" and "are you off your meds again?" were so perfect

[@customerguy8581]

Yeah, this was crazy funny. Also the Queen's beard made of bees. I got more laughs out loud out of this one than any other one, and I've seen most of the pitch meetings

[@customerguy8581]

oh and also Jupiter Jones is a freak killed me

[@jimbomacjimbo95]

"Hey shaddup dad, so..."

[@KristianRobertsen]

It's even funnier when you know it's the wachowski brothers who made it. Those guys really have gone off the deep end.

[@chiarardn2401]

I can't believe you did a pitch meeting for Jupiter Ascending and didn't even mention the sanitary pad scene! LOL!

[@VinceroAlpha]

Yeah, after watching this and not the movie at all, I’m glad he left that scene out.🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢

[@TheAeris07]

Do I even want to know?

[@2st_duallist]

we all managed to forget that. thanks.

[@Chris_Hood]

"Okay, *this is gonna be a weird one.* " Ohhhhhh, you have no idea

[@ianitor]

Take all the weirdness you can imagine and multiply it by itself.

[@daryltester1710]

Bee squared?

[@ianitor]

@@daryltester1710 beads?

[@jamessmells123]

I couldn’t believe this movie WASN’T trying to cram the first three books of an eight part series into one film. Was baffled to find out it was original

[@bmanmcfly]

IKR, it was a movie with so much potential...

[@Templar462]

@@bmanmcfly was it? because this honestly sounds like a bender gone horribly wrong, on a work-night, when your script is due the next morning.

[@scifiwriter98]

The Wachowskis always swing for the fences and sometimes succeed. Not this time.

[@G360LIVE]

@@Templar462 The story idea has potential. The script needed a Page 1 rewrite though.

[@bmanmcfly]

@@Templar462 Consider the overall story; a "normal" person in modern day discovers that humanity is really just a small cog in a galaxy (or greater) spanning empire that is using those lives as a commodity for the rulers own benefit, and this normal person happens to hold a status that can overturn that circumstance to save humanity as a whole.... IMO, that's a great premise for a movie or a series of books. I know I've read worse ones. In terms of the execution, when I first watched the movies I chose to ignore those details, but the critique is pretty damn close to spot on. If things had been fleshed out; film 1 the girl finds out about the galactic empire and that she holds a special rank in that empire that she was not aware. Film 2; after discovering the size and scope of the empire, the protagonist tries to stake her claim over the planet she wants to save, but has to deal with the "royal" feud in order to maintain that claim, beating the 2 of 3 weakest siblings. Film 3; Starts with battling the final sibling, then the protagonist gathers forces in order to relinquish the "empires" control over the planet or to destabilize that empire in such a way that it cannot present a threat to the earth for the foreseeable future. Yes, it would hit the brakes on most of the action, but there are many books where the anticipation of the conflict takes up more space than the actual conflicts.

[@ShantanuTiwari-rx3ti]

Nowadays I randomly get urge to watch pitch meeting, I come here to watch them and everytime wish to god to bless this channel.

[@Celinra]

With a dog-man in there, I feel like there was a missed opportunity for a "bow-wow-wow-wow... wow" joke. (Seriously though, great job as always!)

[@SageWon-1aussie]

That would be a truly awesome joke. 👍😎

[@gnocchidokey]

He's gonna be pissed he didn't do this.

[@katherineb5872]

Omg that would have been such a cute joke!!

[@pauladame6310]

​@@gnocchidokey More than just an inconvenience feeling for him for sure

[@AudioPerplex]

hahaha, good point.

[@CommentaryCommenter]

Watching a Pitch Meeting for a movie you’ve never heard of is TIGHT!!!

[@ninjalectualx]

Repeating the same joke on every video is not tight. It's loose

[@Mister-Red]

​@@ninjalectualxohh loose things are TIGHT!

[@thegreatandterrible4508]

You have been blessed.

[@Kratoctavi0]

​@@ninjalectualx Yucking someone's yum is not tight

[@carter_lovejoy]

I highly recommend watching this with some friends and drinks!

[@Pyromaniac77777]

“Didn’t you say he was part dog?” “Yep! And now he’s got his wings back” Amazing how I’ve watched hundreds of these and you’ve still got it, whatever it is

[@ToyKeeper]

Jupiter Ascending was the best, longest, and only commercial I've ever seen for air skates.

[@armelior4610]

Ah yes, the Wachowskis' Rebel Moon. But it's way more fun in a "so bad it's good" way. The line about the bees recognizing all royalty is still one of the most funny unintentional humor I've heard on screen

[@thegodofalldragons]

Rebel Moon except made by people with talent.

[@AchedSphinx]

rebel moon without the wheat.

[@easolinas1233]

Especially since it has absolutely nothing to do with anything. It's just a weird idea the Wachowskis came up with, and for some reason they were allowed to put it in their movie.

[@hebat45]

Rebel moon without the slow mo, wheat and much better visuals

[@mkultra2456]

@@AchedSphinx Actually they had the wheat in one scene. Or might have been corn. There was a big field of produce that's for sure.

[@jonathandixon7760]

I always thought the “I love dogs” line looked like they were reading it for the first time off a prompt. She says it with just a little question in her voice. He just gives up, ends the scene and walks off. She follows to say WTF. He turns back and they just stare at each other like they just fully realized what this movie is.

[@Φλωρος-Θωμασου-Ξ5Ξ]

😂😂😂 seems true

[@Sat0rr0taS]

The new Pitch every week is 100% the best part of KZbin.

[@WuSezer]

It's every two weeks though.

[@omgthisissoawesome]

Ryan, you have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to make a pitch meeting about this. It's been years since I watched it but I still can't forget the scene where they use a sanitary pad to stop Channing Tatum from bleeding but use the sticky side of it instead of the absorbent side

[@JacekPaszkoAMV]

What the actual fuck

[@mkultra2456]

@@JacekPaszkoAMV What part of "they use a sanitary pad to stop Channing Tatum from bleeding but use the sticky side of it instead of the absorbent side" don't you understand?

[@brentgilliam1209]

Yes... just yes to this entire comment string.

[@arvinroidoatienza7082]

​​@@mkultra2456were not women duh. We men don't know how pads work

[@donperegrine922]

​@@arvinroidoatienza7082 You GOTTA get the string way up inside!

[@alexoblivion9295]

I was really drunk both times that I watched this, and the way I remembered it was, Mila Kunis and a Robot wait in line at the DMV for the entire movie, getting transferred to a different desk every time they get to the counter, for 3 hours. That was the way I remembered it, so I never tried to watch it again, and for years I've just been telling people it was called 'Rings Around Uranus starring Mila Kunis'

[@BatmanFan76]

“Making an original movie with the directors of The Matrix is tight!” “No it’s not.” “Yeah, you’re right.”

[@carter_lovejoy]

It sucks that the Wachowskis haven’t done anything that lives up to the original Matrix in terms of how grounded, spectacular and revolutionary it was. I guess the best thing they’ve done since the original Matrix was producing and writing the screenplay for V for Vendetta and I’ve heard that Sense8, the show they made on Netflix, is also good. But their track record overall has been very polarizing.

[@alm2187]

Seems like the potential was there. Maybe they should have stopped going with experimental stuff and focused on what worked in Bound and The Matrix (though perhaps not in the same movie).

[@hartthorn]

@@carter_lovejoy Ehhh, it's less polarizing and more "those ladies are freaky, and do cool, weird shit." Not a huge fan of how the Matrix trilogy ended, but it was never BAD. Sense8 is weird but an emotional firehose. Even Speed Racer has been getting a larger critical re-evaluation for doing stuff that is honestly amazing if you just stop EXPECTING it to be a different kind of movie. And I'll defend Matrix Resurrections til the day I die. Cloud Atlas is supposed to even be pretty solid if you can get passed the, ya know... weird race make up stuff.

[@pacmonster066]

​@@carter_lovejoyThe problem with the Wachowskis is they're more interested in subversion of cinema tropes then logically consistent story structure. All of their projects suffer from this problem with their "better" stories mostly grabbing the story structure from other sources. The first Matrix is fundamentally Alice in Wonderland (which the Wachowskis make obvious via the Alice in Wonderland references in the movie). The further they went away from an existing story structure in their projects the worse they got.

[@Grasslander]

@@hartthorn "Ladies"? LOL Oh yeah, I forgot. U.S. leftists know they must pretend to believe whatever the clique of media owners shove down their throat. Otherwise you are targeted at work. I guess the cowardice carries over to the internet too. Carry on.

[@TotoLakay]

"Those are WORDS!" That straight up killed me.😂😂😂

[@maboyles90]

That may be my new favorite joke! I'm going to try to find a way to use that in real life.

[@guyfurman2463]

New Canon. The guy playing the producer gets better every time.

[@frauleinhohenzollern]

"Straight up killed me" .... Those are words.

[@davidwright4201]

Probably no one else is old enough to remember this on here, but Jupiter Jones is also the name of one of the Three investigators from Alfred Hitchcock's book series, I read all of them until my friend told me about The Hardy boys and Nancy Drew books, then I read every single book they had, it's been almost 20 years since I've even read The Hardy boys or Nancy Drew.

[@leuchtturmarngast9741]

Funf fact: in Germany there is a really popular radio drama series inspired by Hitchcock's books that's been going on for over 40 years

[@alm2187]

3:34 "I CREATE LIFE...!" (switches from emotive shouting to emotive devoicing) "... And I destroy it."

[@something1600]

He's just a massive melodramatic dork.

[@ultimateowlie2283]

By an Academy Award nominee 😆

👏

[@primmoore6232]

@@ultimateowlie2283 ... who didn't put any effort into his part, knowing it was what Jupiter was scrubbing out of those toilets. Nearly killed Eddie's career.

[@KingRorix]

​@@ultimateowlie2283*winner

[@Sir.Redacted]

"Feeding off the life essence of humans is tight!" Is absolutely something a big studio executive would say.

[@paradoxlaboratories8005]

1:24 “So then they go see this guy, Stinger, and he’s half bee.” 🤣 What the hell is this??? I’m guessing he likes jazz.

[@MGmirkin]

Nah, he just goes to the jazz lounge to get buzzed...

[@pbj1984]

I see what you did there

[@cleopanda4906]

I can't believe this isn't a revisited but a new video

[@monmothma3358]

Yeah, especially since he's talking about the Queen of England

[@vanderful2397]

@@monmothma3358 When the movie was pitched she was still alive

[@kityhawk2000]

​@vanderful2397 being still alive is tight especially if you're singing the song from Portal

[@SageWon-1aussie]

Took a while to figure out how this might have been pitched. Successfully, I mean.

[@monmothma3358]

@@vanderful2397 True 😄

[@vivamortua]

Great pitch meeting! Another corollary issue with the ending is that, in addition to other planets still being harvested, when Jupiter eventually dies (from old age or otherwise) ownership of Earth will transfer to someone else who might then harvest everyone. Perhaps she could write some kind of space will of her own to leave the planet to another Earthling, but there is no indication that she has done so or even intends to

[@easolinas1233]

Well, she's not very bright. I mean, at the end of the movie she's queen of the whole planet and happily cleaning toilets. She really doesn't have good decision-making skills.

[@rawdog1999]

It was written as a trilogy by the Wachowski siblings. The studio made them compress it down into 1 movie. That 1 movie was like 2 hours and 40 minutes long, and the studio then made them cut 40 minutes. It could never succeed under those conditions.

[@EGreeneConversations]

it was also a very weird bad plot. even from what they showed us.

[@criley7755]

Yes. What Jupiter Ascending really needed to suceed was more Jupiter Ascending...

[@joshmckinlay587]

"Those are more words!" LMFAO

[@harrymills2770]

Heh. That was my favorite bit.

[@thatsgib6015]

"Those sure are some words!" Never before have I found a way to perfectly explain how I feel whenever I hear a character drop fictional lore

[@leelee1286]

“I said I have no further questions!” 😂🤣😂

[@Dadbot]

New pitch meetings for old movies are tight

[@raiseer]

Yes. I'm still waiting for "In the name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale".

[@michaelanderson6394]

I honestly feel like you could answer a good chunk of the questions that Producer Guy might have just by having Screenwriter Guy say, “I’m here on behalf of the Wachowskis.” I feel like that would clear most things up about how… out there this movie is.

[@tehweh8202]

Ah... was the movie "directed" by them?

[@4RILDIGITAL]

Your breakdown of the movie was hilarious and spot-on. The lime of events in this plot really doesn’t add up.

[@BobbyJCFHvLichtenstein]

My favorite part was "Are you off your meds again?" "Hey shut up dad!"

[@RetroBlockade]

New pitch meeting lore dropped

[@rcschmidt668]

An instant classic!

[@reezlaw]

I hadn't even noticed "dad" hahaha

[@dcmbassi]

Oh my goodness, I forgot about this one. I remember wondering how a life of cleaning toilets prepares you for parkour on a crumbling space station.

[@stevekirkpatrick1612]

That's what you get for never cleaning your toilet.

[@dcmbassi]

@@stevekirkpatrick1612 🤣🤣🤣

[@Mack.Flurry3]

Hey, shut up lol😊

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

"Becuzz!"

[@derpmang5539]

Because, as any toilet cleaner will tell you, you are gonna go through a lot of shit!

[@MasseyKY]

"You off your meds again?" "Hey shut up Dad" 😂😂

[@johndelacruz5025]

I love it when you guys just make pitch meetings about movies made years ago.

[@F-sj7cu]

He just had a kid and is using banked Pitch Meetings. Give him a break.

[@10base-teaparty97]

@@F-sj7cu I don't think they meant it sarcastically. A lot of fans really like it when some random unexpected movie pops up.

[@Lukeharperdeadlmao]

Pitch meeting is the best channel ever

[@MGmirkin]

Honest Trailers is right up there...

[@inthetraffic]

Man the writing was so sharp on this one RG! Well done.

[@wilcee238]

Producer Guy’s face at 1:46 when he said “You off your meds again?” had me rolling.

[@osheridan]

"Hey, shut up Dad"

[@positivelynegative9149]

🤣

[@kmjober]

I have seen this movie and could not have told you any of the plot, other than i remember space was involved. This pitch meeting, besides being very funny, is a much better use of your time than trying to watch the original.

[@jdoggfivethousand]

Love your videos! Please do a pitch meeting for Southland Tales!!! It'll be super easy! Barely an inconvenience. I am going to comment this for as long as you make these, until you make it. I will never give up. This is my seventy-seventh attempt.

[@s1nnocense]

it's not big enough.

[@xxTheMajorxx]

When this thumbnail popped up, I left a meeting early just so I could watch this to get some confirmation that this movie was absolutely insane.

[@rumo510]

I had purged this movie from my memory. When I saw the thumbnail I said "ohh shiiiiit" and I flashed back to cringing in agony for an hour and a half when I had watched it

[@tarron3237]

You mean insanely bad, right?

[@EntropyKC]

This is without question the most perplexed I have been after a pitch meeting. Even Moonfall was less stupid by the looks of things. Interesting that films named after celestial bodies either falling or rising are completely mad.

[@emorsi]

And I remember the trailer being somehow exiting so I really looked forward to it. And then the movie reviews were so bad, so overwhelming bad, that I decided not to watch it. I think this was the right decision.

[@DocTheHawk]

​@EntropyKC it's actually a good movie. Written by and directed by the same people as the Matrix.

[@pg2826]

My favorite part of the movie was actually Jupiter Descending. The visual of when they first enter Jupiter's atmosphere was pretty amazing for its time. Also her wedding dress was beautiful.

[@mkultra2456]

Yeah say what you will, those space effects were good. The base in the hole on Jupiter was TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT!

[@hansbansor5170]

Love the 'i dont believe you' phrase from the face off pitch meeting^^ Glad it got another chance to shine

[@markmatson]

My daughter spent much of her early childhood writing a movie script involving evil bears and fairies and vampires and stuff. (A "trailer" is at my home page.) Imagine if she somehow later became a famous writer/director with enough power she could dust off that script she finished before she turned 10 and have a studio dump 100 million dollars into it. That's basically Jupiter Ascending for the Wachowski siblings.

[@NJGuy1973]

When is your daughter going to start a YT channel?

[@quokka_11]

1:05 "I said I got it." You do, sir. You do indeed got it.

[@973daydreamer]

This has made my week. I have wanted to see a pitch meeting for this for years. Thank you ❤

[@johnvladman9425]

FINALLY! I have been waiting for this for YEARS!

[@MaesterMike]

Yes! I always wanted this movie to be pitched, and you haven't let me down!

[@jammin023]

Should've started: "So you have a movie for me?" "No sir I don't."

[@MFLeon27]

'Well he got his wings back' 'I thought he was part dog' 'Jup, and now he got his wings back'

[@tatsuuuuuu]

"I thought he was part dog?!?" "YEP and now he's got his *wings* back!" God! when you put it like that xD I love this movie but yeah it was freaking goofy.

[@Burevix]

Part bird dog.

[@dendroxden440]

I remember loving it when I saw it in theatres, but don't remember anything that happened in it apart from the whole harvesting humans for eternal youth thing. Watching this pitch meeting makes me wonder why tf I loved it 😂

[@Thekingofsandwiches]

This is the first time I could see Producer Guy at the end just saying “No. No, we’re not doing this one. “

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

You're giving PG waaayyy too much credit. Errr, I mean Producer DAD. 😂

[@MGmirkin]

And then, "...Aww, c'mon dad!? Even if I get the Wachowski Brothers??" "Okay, but only if you get the Wachowski Brothers..." **12 months later** "I got the Wachowski Sisters!" **Producer Guy stares...** **Pitch Guy stares...** **Producer Guy stares...** **Pitch Guy stares...** "...ohh, okay. FINE!!"

[@Al3xtheMeh]

1:46 Good job Ryan, you managed to make me snort water up my nose from laughter. Haven't done that in a long time.

[@YTBoof]

I paid money to see this movie in theaters, and to this day, it stands as one of my biggest regrets in life

[@Coffeepotion]

This entire movie sounds like a fever dream

[@ianitor]

It’s worse And better 😅

[@CorePathway]

Ayahuasca

[@dawnfire82]

Well, the writers are literally insane, so...

[@skylarmccune9242]

…or an acid trip 😳

[@naamadossantossilva4736]

That is what happens when you inject hormones your body isn't ready for.

[@theMLBfan]

"those are more words!". Gotta love the enthusiasm.😂

[@JohnRapheal7]

Im convinced that the Wachowski's stole the idea for the Matrix. Literally everything that they made besides V for Vendetta is exactly like this

[@smorris12]

Naming your lead character after one of Alfred Hitchcock's Three Investigators is tight.

[@seeschwalbe]

The movie would have been ten times better with the original Jupiter Jones as the lead tbh. Wouldn't even have hurt the plot, as there is no plot.

[@PhilBagels]

YES! I was wondering if anyone besides me recognized the name Jupiter Jones! Also, it should be noted that Jupiter has been an exclusively male name for at least a few thousand years. The "-piter" part of the name literally means "father".

[@realbeefcastle]

They should’ve named her Bob Andrews or Pete Crenshaw. Missed opportunity.

[@catmanduu66]

I happened to have just watched this movie again because someone was talking about how nuts it was. It is insane.

[@leahl5007]

This guy’s out here making all kinds of quality content!

[@notme222]

This movie makes me really appreciate that Iron Man never really "skated" around on the jets.

[@CaptHayfever]

On the other hand, Shadow the Hedgehog.

[@wilcee238]

He did a little in the first movie.

[@gregelsnic2545]

Thank goodness they didn't include the skates from the older Iron Man comics.

[@edwarddejong8025]

The scene with a window looing at jupiter is super beautiful. I would pay to have that slow movie of Jupiter running in a picture frame. Incredible amount of money was spent on this film.

[@neoweight8195]

Lol, great job Ryan. Just hilarious! Thanks for doing the pitch for this movie

[@Codiferrous]

“….You off your meds again?” “HEYSHUTUPDAD”

[@leonardbanda7416]

“You off your meds again?” 😭🤣🤣

[@andrerosaesilva]

YES!!! YES!!!! YES!!!!! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!! After years begging for this pitch meeting, it finally happened!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH

[@giramon17]

I remember seeing the trailer for this movie and getting so hyped up that I convinced 2 of my friends to go and watch it...the only time I had literally fallen asleep in the cinema.

[@kopf-heldtotalneuro-logisc8479]

You can be lucky if you still can call them your friends after this move. lol

[@giramon17]

@@kopf-heldtotalneuro-logisc8479 no problem, we just watched Monkey Man together, so we like shitty movies. I just didn't expect Jupiter ascending to be so boring.

[@josiah3820]

0:06 "no it's not." 😂

[@jierdareisa4313]

I love ALL Pitch Meeting videos!!!! ❤

[@JoshWilliams123]

"...and this one can't control the volume of his voice." LOL. It was a mixture of puberty and gasping for air.

[@crimsonsonic1918]

I've been waiting for this...... And man was it worth it

[@jamiemarcelle6394]

Love it! Would you do a Tarantino Film next? Like, Once Upon a time in Hollywood?

[@sarahd.5244]

This movie is a golden glittering gift. It's incredible. It's wild. It's everything I wanted as a 13 year old girl in a movie. I would rather something try for an extreme, fun, over the top adventure than another bland remake.

[@____uncompetative]

Good for you.

[@bartharris]

You’re god damn right. I felt the same as a 37 year old man. Such good, bonkers fun!

[@nicoleackerman205]

At least it is original or possibly based off a book but original to the screen

[@mariselafischer2903]

Yea I liked it too. And some of the scenes where its like,"that couldn't happen, that's too crazy" ... we're actually a social commentary on the fact that people have no clue what's going on.

[@EricTheKartoonKing]

I literally saw this fing movie in the theatre, and it still feels like a fever dream. But I distinctly remember getting to the moment with the bees, listening in disbelief as Sean Bean said bees recognize royalty, and getting up to walk out. I only stayed cuz the friends I was with asked me to 😆

[@LordAnublz]

Up to this day i think she owes the world a sex tape to make up for this movie! :D

[@apaloosa01]

But does Sean Bean die in the end ? (Haven't watched the movie...)

[@GHMYahooka]

the honest trailer about this movie is great

[@k.chriscaldwell4141]

_”Those are words?!”_ 🤣