VEDA, Part 1, reflecting on where I was/am with my eating disorder

jenfromeugene
www.createforle...

[@shellyb5014]

Great video! I love videos like this. I started watching your channel for things like this. Please continue to be transparent. Can't wait until tomorrow's video!!

[@sunshineisfine2]

Jenni, I just had the chance to watch this and I am so glad I kept it in my email and marked it. You have been such an inspiration for me. I am older (53) and have gone long enough with being morbidly obese. I would like to let you know that this is the type of candidness that you have that truly makes me believe I can do this too. Hugs from Corina. xoxoxo

[@lemonlicious6663]

Thank you for being so completely honest - can't wait for part 2. I can really relate to how you feel - I'm fighting the same things - and you motivate me to keep fighting!

[@maleesaparadis9889]

Great video. I can't wait until tomorrow part 2 video.

[@emilypound]

I so admire you. You are so self aware and so grounded even though you probably don't think you are when you're eating in a way that concerns you. I think that for those of us who have been heavy for a very long time, when things change in a good way, when things are going great like with you, you're with someone you love and you're happy, that can be very scary. I think it's because we have a fear of losing it even though there's no evidence to back that up. Also we're just plain not used to feeling that way, happy and feeling like we're loved, wanted, and cared for. So that could be what's triggering you at times. When I lost a lot of weight many years ago and people were praising me like you were talking about, it felt good but it also kind of made me feel like it gave me a pass to eat dangerous foods or eat too much. It was like I thought, well, people are all telling me how great I look so there's no harm in me eating this piece of cake or these cookies or whatever. It was like I felt like I deserved to eat those things as a reward even though that was so counterproductive. I guess we all have our own unique triggers and mental processes going on but even though you may feel like you're still struggling, you are such a model of hope and health for so many of us. You really have kicked this disorder's ass and I have no doubt you will continue to prevail. Looking forward to part 2! :)

[@SamirCCat]

I saw your video from 2010, and what I was struck by immidetaly wasn't your weight loss, but your smile! Of course your weight loss is very important for your physical health, but your mental happiness is so important too!! Your relationship does you good, I can tell, haha... You also look more well-nourished and wise about yourself and your health. You're a true inspiration, no matter what ED!

[@LillianC]

Jen, as you know...I've been with you from the beginning. Watched your beautiful transformation both inside and out. I've lost 100 lbs on Weight Watchers so far, but I'm struggling to finish losing the rest of my weight ( I have about 50 lbs more to go to hit goal). That said, I had to stop this video over half way done so that I could respond to you before my husband wakes up this morning (I heard the floorboards creak just now, so he's getting up lol). You mentioned HALT, which I've never heard of before. This enlightened me as to a part of the reason why I'M struggling with losing the rest of my weight right now. My food struggles are the A and L of HALT. Angry and lonely. Angry from things happening at work, to which I have no control over...and lonely because my husband and I work two different shifts. I work first and he works second. So we literally only see each other on weekends, which is sad. Put in the mix of things that I've lived in Nashville since 1999 and I have zero friends here. None whatsoever. I don't get close to my coworkers because they gossip with each other about everyone. So they're mere acquaintances. The biggest reason for me and my binging after work when I get home is because I'm all alone at night. And I do it for comfort from the lonliness. I can't wait to watch your part two! Hubby works again tonight (his company has everyone on mandatory overtime so they all have been working 6 days a week). I'll be posting a video on my channel after he leaves today...so that I can talk about this too. Love you girl, and thanks so very much for this video. It is very enlightening about my own feelings on food and weight loss.

[@jearaque5260]

I really admire your honesty. I'll be back tomorrow...

[@nathanb53]

I hope you know you should be very proud of yourself! It takes a lot to share your struggles and problems, especially with people you don't vcen know. Thank you.

[@ellenmyers6001]

Thanks for such an honest video. I too binged just yesterday. I'm only 2 and a half months out but when I ate the sugar free fat free ice cream, I made a banana split with cool whip and sugar free Hershey syrup. After finishing it I felt compelled to make another and still wasn't filled. I've never eaten so much since the surgery and it didn't faze me. I feel so guilty but hearing your story has made me forgive myself. I'm still new at this so I have to work harder to get where you are. I can't wait for Part 2. You are amazing!

[@aurell623]

Thank you for sharing and your honesty

[@lesiasuperneau1269]

Looking forward to part 2

[@frankandbeans1906]

Hi. I know this is an older video but i just found you. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. We have a lot of similar experiences. I have a comment about the journaling you mention. In my first year of OA I journaled daily. To get the emotional juices flowing I used the Just For Today and Voices of Recovery books. Some days would only be a sentence or two, but most often i would journal for a half hour or more. Journaling is a great tool to look at situations in your life and sort through it. Sometimes though i would find myself bogged down by recurrent situations or thoughts. So i found it helpful to "clean house" every 30 days. I put the last notebook on a shelf knowing i can revisit it at amy time, and start with a new notebook...a brand new clean slate. It helps my mind somehow. I don't know if you touch on this more in the future. But i look forward to watching more of your videos. I hope you are well. 💕

[@ckrtom2]

Excellent candid sharing, Jenni! I'm sure you know I could comment a lot, but I'm running off to work now...I have not journaled at all and am resistant to it -- I think my years of advanced English courses and such -- which I did very well in -- in school have made me lazy about writing here in my "personal" adult life... Ho-hum... :-) I look forward to your next video on this!

[@KT-ls2wu]

The slower you go the more likely the changes are permanent. You feel shame probably because you have so much awareness. That's great and best of luck going forward. You can't change overnight, just keep trying and you'll get there.

[@stephanieaz82]

Thank you for sharing - it has been very helpful and inspiring.

[@meganmerriman2039]

What a cliff hanger! lol great video, I love your honesty.

[@Tranquilityroad]

Your honesty is so refreshing ...thank you.... Looking forward to tomorrows ...i was so getting into it Lol

[@PBottomPoochies]

Wow. While Starbucks isn't my thing, many of these things you discuss I can so relate. Loneliness and anger are my big triggers.

[@sherbearhryb9615]

I've also lost a large amount of weight and I constantly feel like I'm balancing on the edge of a very slippery slope. It's so easy to fall into old habits, it scares me.

[@heygracevlogs]

My mom and I are both overweight. My mom is more of a junk food junkie than I am. But I am more of a soda junkie than she is. My mom decided to give up putting sugar in her coffee in the mornings and sugar in her afternoon tea. Because she noticed there was a lot of sugar that was having. I've been trying to cut out the soda. Too much sugar! And I had a liter of water today! Good luck with everything!

[@SamirCCat]

I think it's different for everyone with an binge disorder how you should handle sugar. Some need to stay away from it forever, some during the recovery but can go back later, and some find it the best to eat it regularly during recovery and afterwards - because you don't forbid it. Everything that is forbidden is wanted, and if you allow yourself 1 muffin every afternoon, you won't have to clutch to it like it's your last in your entire life, because you're having one tomorrow too. Do you understand what I mean? My ED has never been about bingeing, but I comfort eat a lot when I'm depressed and tired. I allow myself to eat sweets and chocolate every day, but in moderate amounts, and because I allow myself I find it easier to stop after my moderate meal too. It's not the end of it, I'll have it again tomorrow. Just be patient and wait. I find it easier, but we are all different. It's also super shameful to have these comfort urges when you've been anorexic, so that's a secret that I guess makes me sicker. But now I shared a bit!

[@maryellenputnam-reinhardt3305]

It DOES help hearing it from someone else that's not super close to you (regarding how far you've come) puts in in perspective....

[@maryvasquez7246]

Jen I admire you. You have lost a lot of weight. I know if you can do it I know that I can to.

[@robinsonntag1027]

I left a comment on part 2.

[@suepete]

Have you by chance had McDonald's iced coffee? I stumbled upon it a couple years ago and actually like it better than Starbucks. Also, it's saved me a ton of money. Win! Win!

[@amycurtis7954]

May I ask how tall you are? I'm 5'10" and weigh almost exactly what you did in this video, yet you look so much smaller than me. And please, pray for me. I want to succeed too. Thank you for being you.

[@justaphotogirl]

I'm 5'10 Do you want to text me?

[@amycurtis7954]

@@justaphotogirl yes, please ❤️ How do I get ahold of you?

[@justaphotogirl]

@@amycurtis7954 can you PM on Instagram? @jenfromeugene

[@amycurtis7954]

@@justaphotogirl I sent you a "follow" request. I don't think it will let me message someone who hasn't approved my request.