Hannibal Buress - Your Prayers Mean Nothing

#HannibalBuress on how much he hates his teenage cousin, not putting a napkin on his lap at restaurants, and why he doesn't want your prayers.
#HannibalBuressStandUp from the #JustForLaughs Festival in 2011.
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Just For Laughs is the world’s premiere destination for #standupcomedy. JFL produces the world’s largest and most prestigious comedy event every July in Montreal, as well as annual festivals in Toronto and Sydney. On this channel, you will find comedic clips from some of the most legendary comedians in the business: Chris Rock, Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, and more. We also feature stand-up from newcomers such as John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, and Amy Schumer. If you just want to laugh, you’re in the right place.

[@couponville1]

he looks just like his comedy

[@csagouki]

Ann M hahahahaha YES!!

[@Ashutt92]

Ann M black?

[@aafloofy]

Fuck I couldn’t have thought of a better comment... so true. Genius 😂😂🤣

[@mrmoedini]

Wow! Flawless technique!

[@benjaminfreitag9231]

@@Ashutt92 No, small eyes, glasses or whatever else more makes him seem like he is

[@remylindsay207]

Even blind people know what hannibal buress looks like

[@cloud67899]

No, they don't ? Unless you're making a racial joke about him being black, which raises the question why waste ya time like that go build a car

[@remylindsay207]

@@cloud67899 bruh he just has a unique voice and way of speaking that I think really fits him, it's just a joke

[@christianromero6567]

Professor Bosshardt chill out homie why so serious?

[@cloud67899]

@@christianromero6567 weedman late afff that's why lol but nah this dude need a lil more credit just a lil more lol bless you tho fam

[@cloud67899]

@@remylindsay207 well, bless you then

[@MrCarmenator8]

The most awkwardly confident person I’ve ever seen

[@saltyseadog4719]

Yah

[@grapenutz1137]

Lovely close...triple Lindy

[@christopherayettey4390]

Very true lol

[@conorwalsh767]

Ken Kennington 9k then you haven’t met me.

[@spookem6610]

I don’t think you’ve met an awkward person before

[@DidCapone]

Hannibal looks like a Nigerian priest

[@jernie9384]

He'd be a Priest in every existing Nation

[@sheikhm.haseeb4974]

Pasta

[@j.a.8969]

I would like this comment but it's at 123 right now

[@santiagocyckowski5732]

How's this so accurate

[@unrulykash3830]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@XanderGimbel]

"don't pray for me, make me a sandwich or something"

[@gurusmurf5921]

and flick pickle juice on it, for flavor.

[@wasi6798]

@@gurusmurf5921 11-12 flicks usually does it

[@MrBassist1996]

And that will be the quote I use on my future tombstone

[@commandercaptain4664]

@@gurusmurf5921 Nasty. Put hot sauce on mine.

[@gmk9321]

Alright I’ll pray while I make that sandwich

[@efishinseablub]

its great to see MF Doom trying stand up

[@mossesmoreno8321]

This comment is unrated.

[@henrlima87]

@@mossesmoreno8321 do you mean underrated? Cause its clearly rated. With the thumbs up....

[@macbruno357]

All caps when you spell the man's name.

[@The_Capo671]

@@macbruno357 yeh

[@SpyCrabsUnite]

Lol shut up

[@alexfehrenbacher7217]

His comedy doesn’t follow a timeline, he just jumps around from bit to bit without really thinking about it

[@gazmodo1192]

I think because he only had a couple of minutes for this set. I saw him do a full 120minute standup set and he had good continuity and great audience interactions the whole set, super funny

[@nickmartinez8178]

That’s kind of his thing, it’s spit ball comedy.

[@daedae2490]

He brought it all together at the end

[@superscatboy]

Except it all comes together at the end, revealing that the whole thing is carefully planned, and that he put time and effort into thinking about it.

[@ianism3]

ya it's because he was mentored by Mitch Hedberg, who was all about that. his delivery is a lot like Mitch's too.

[@TravelWriteLive]

"That is grown-up shit, I'm planning out my life." King shit.

[@healingIRT]

Seriously tho

[@barnaclescum7011]

Alpha male

[@ros3m4ries]

Pure chad

[@neonfroot]

Adults who emphasize their age as justification for vulgar activities are adolescent.

[@JohnRapheal7]

Sometimes when i watch porn i put my hoodie on to feel creepier 💀💀💀

[@crimsondynamo615]

Apöllõ.Q get the experience of a 1970’s New York flasher in a dirty porno theater that violently masturbating under his coat next to a woman

[@mike11497]

I too watched the video

[@JohnRapheal7]

@@mike11497 congratulations... I assume you rock the hoodie up all the time huh? Ol lame ass boi 😑

[@fuckinpandemic25]

@@JohnRapheal7 oh man you can't handle a joke he was making fun of you because he seen the video

[@JohnRapheal7]

@@fuckinpandemic25 yea I get it 😑... And trust me I can take a joke, but it wasnt funny, or even a joke really

[@amic8]

when he said he's 28 i freaked out..he looks like he's in his 40s

[@Sammyv17]

He also looks 28 though so I don't know what's going on.

[@ChiefVizier]

@TheMANshow1000 Exactly

[@savagemcduck7088]

Hannibal will forever look 39.

[@gguioa]

goddamn I'm his age and look like his son

[@1994Trill]

He looks younger now

[@guilldea]

Hannibal running is something I wanna see before I die

[@danwassen2178]

Have you seen tag?

[@MadDogEddie]

I bet you've seen the grizzly bear interview by now. He makes it halfway across the room and is already winded.

[@cicada7788]

Watch TAG

[@WaffleShortage]

get this boi in some track cleats doing hurdles.

[@HampterClam]

MrGladBEASTftw that was the funniest thing I’ve ever read and pictured 🤣🤣🤣

[@Forenzikproductions]

“Jag off” and “Jaggin’ off” are specifically phrases made by Hannibal Buress

[@chunkyryan5233]

well i've heard people being called a jagoff often but sure lol

[@davidk7529]

You’ve never heard of McJagoff?

[@arealhuman826]

No they aren't lmao

[@Smokinfreely]

Not at all lmao

[@JoeY-ml9ri]

You've never heard the Pittsburgh accent lol

[@dustincupples7735]

"Dont pray for me, make me a sandwich or something" I'm adopting this new life motto

[@ishaansharma654]

All that unconnected mess of jokes was a setup for the last one.

[@alecsanderfuentes3913]

Epsilon's Dilemma unconnected ???? It’s literally his style and form of comedy i don’t think you know how comedy works

[@marthaanderson9252]

Ya it is an unconnected style.not a bad thing, he does it well

[@acapulcogoldpablo8096]

Damn , son! You new to comedy? Obviously you've never heard of Mitch Hedberg. Look him up. Good shit!

[@daamazinfatb0y752]

Right from the get go I'm sittin there like "man wtf?" every joke just sounds so...like...I can't comprehend his thinking hahahaha, its so childish but so grown up hahahahaa. Its brilliant haha!

[@DannyMarschall]

I know!!

[@ultraviolet_C]

daAmazin FatB0y it's kinda like the stand up version of a tumblr shitpost

[@jwardbass4452]

+Phoenix 279 why tumblr?

[@ae7698]

Look up Mitch hedburg, he’s very similar and actually helped Hannibal get famous when he himself blew up.

[@no_peace]

That's for babies

[@liarenee8132]

Is this "why are you booing me?! I'm right!" Guy?

[@RyuKenChaos]

Yeah

[@johnfromafar]

Yup

[@elbergalarga4500]

lia renee yes but that was a clip of the Eric Andre show

[@enigma-sama2509]

It is. Hes known from the eric andre show. And if you didnt know you cant spell the american dream without eric andre!

[@Stefan-wp2qr]

Please educate yourself, peasant

[@ezzong]

What a classically handsome man.

[@satin2142]

"IM SO CLASSICALLY HANDSOME"

[@VCRrepairman]

Really more of a post modern look to me

[@kaalen24]

Life is about balance. That joke was absolute gold.

[@Tzadeck]

Hot girl in the white dress starts out loving it, until it slowly gets too weird for her. Good set tho.

[@Bloodsrunsthicker]

You're a professional people watcher?

[@theswingingdoor2157]

It only gets more sensible tho.

[@markfreelances]

WHO CARES??? 😂

[@Tas_mm]

@@Bloodsrunsthicker 😂

[@NeuralOscillations]

Thanks for pointing that out. I like noticing shit like that when I watch videos as such Adds to it for me

[@adopolis04]

“Sometime when I’m watching porn i put my hood on to feel creepier” 🤣

[@shmigod1195]

Nice!

[@commandercaptain4664]

:salutes:

[@milanb007]

7 minutes of Hannibal feels like 25-30min of material

[@Overlordough1201]

"Please keep me and my family out of your thoughts - unless you want to make us sandwiches." A quote to live by, and demand of people.

[@janitorialjargon2411]

Hannibal is just an awkward kid in a grown man's body lol

[@babygurleatsshickennuggits4201]

His person suit is confusing

[@louisyon313]

Other way around

[@louisyon313]

He’s a grown man in a little kids body

[@CuttinUpGetGapped]

The way he says “youtube” makes me laugh every time.

[@luiysia]

yo taube

[@katipunanball4799]

yoo tewb

[@jeremyjay1000]

00:58 😂 When he startled half the audience.

[@1994Trill]

Lmaooo

[@ItsCriti]

Hahaha

[@DrazydBaraka]

They jumped! 😂😂😂

[@blackpat]

😂😂😂

[@edvargas4159]

Lmfao

[@curtisbrownr09]

He's got a point. There's no point in praying if you're not going to do something. Faith without works is dead being alone.

[@TheOneTrueClovehitch]

And I'd ask what the point of faith is at all at that point normally, but considering I'm trying to learn chemistry, and also considering the fact that even though I'm agnostic, mental health is still part of medicine and medicine is science, it'd be foolish of me to completely toss it aside, so even if it's simply a placebo or a motivator or some other third thing I'm not thinking of, who am I to judge? If it works for some people, that's their business and it's ok.

[@prestonallender]

you should really reread that book man

[@curtisbrownr09]

@@prestonallender of course. Everyday.

[@sands_12120]

@@TheOneTrueClovehitch simple. skip the bullshit - go straight to the source.

[@memedumpster1402]

“I don’t put my napkin on my lap. People ask me why I don’t do it. Because I believe myself. I’m a grown damn adult and I can get food from my plate to my mouth without spoiling my jeans” This man is a legend

[@davidkak1354]

Thanks Bernie

[@commandercaptain4664]

*calamari has entered the chat*

[@kdog909]

Never understood the napkin in the lap thing. When I’m at a restaurant I use my napkin like a fuckin napkin and people look at me like I’m a caveman.

[@canceledartist]

“That shit’s for babies”

[@Amongoose06]

At 1:01 the left half of the room gets scared from him yelling lol

[@DrazydBaraka]

0:58 actually...

[@Eskey__]

That was funny.

[@thetomster7625]

didn't now Hannibal was actually that freakin funny!!

[@Bloodsrunsthicker]

I didn't know either.

[@evanabbott2737]

Oh he’s funny as fuck! One of the best😁👍

[@theoneonly8472]

Facts I just started watching his standup, all I’ve seen before is clips of him on Eric Andre, his standup is hilarious lmao

[@Yinkv]

@S Mavi gold!

[@christophergongora7885]

He was funny when he had glasses

[@securitypolice30]

“Keep me out of your thoughts” ... I love this dude 🤣

[@ClutchDre__]

This is only 7 minutes of stand up and it feels like an entire special. Legendary.

[@oledilep]

this was funny AF

[@rootbeer_666]

oledilep funny as hell, if you go by that sign in the background

[@CajunKirk]

I love Hannibal’s complete lack of segways between his bits😂

[@fdsfsdfsd1552]

*segues

[@ianrachi3446]

Jaggin’ off

[@ridleymcnamara2273]

He's actually funny. I usual see him on Eric Andre Show

[@lunagabriella213]

Mitch Hedberg, RIP, would approve

[@Peehfe]

thought of him too, my 2 favorites

[@caseh5111]

Crowd jumps at :58 lol

[@colin1323]

Look at everyone jump @0:58

[@Sparrow_Bloodhunter]

he's way more confident about his eating skills than I am, I once ate some spaghetti and some of it ended up on my back. I was like 15 at the time and I managed to fail so spectacularly ate eating pasta that these long ass noodles managed to make their way around my entire head and end up on the back of my shirt. I didn't even notice it happened, my dad was just like "why you got spaghetti on your back?" 🤷‍♂️

[@hunterhuffman4520]

did you ever teach sex education to kid named Josh Johnson?

[@jacktowers7533]

This guy just has life figured out in so many way you didn’t even think of

[@jklaw20]

THE PACING IS PERFECT. LOVE HB.

[@raydolfderby6736]

I pray for Hannibal to spite him now.

[@JeroAlmufakir]

I can't imagine going in front of a hundred people and saying "THAT'S FOR BABIES" and getting clapped and cheered, I wouldn't pull that off

[@sandilengiba1838]

"That is grown up shit I'm planning out my life"

[@davidk7529]

I’m glad they give previews at the end. Now I know to avoid Maria Bamford whenever I feel like hearing something funny and not just deliberately annoying.

[@feelgoodgangog]

Why is Hannibal Buress so great?? If there’s one thing to make me smile in these grim times it’s remembering Hannibal Buress’ standup

[@user-wc5lp5pr9k]

5:42 the way he delivered it, when he said "abortion" I laughed, and everyone in the audience sighed sad. It's just the way he delivered it

[@seinavt]

i fucking lost it at "well... do you wanna have another one?"

[@phasm42]

"Don't pray for me. Make me a sandwich or something." 😅 QFT

[@dustincupples7735]

Leave the cab door open, that's hilarious

[@IamHohenheimofLight]

This guy' good, I want to hear more!

[@sloaiza81]

Mitch Headburg reincarnated. It's biting, but its good.

[@sgriggl]

At that "one day at a time" part, I heard it too. "I hear music". You're not special. That's I how receive it, too.

[@DylanAlexander93]

Eh I think mark normand is more like mitch

[@fantasticalyt2558]

“Dont pray for me, make me a sandwhich”

[@joejackson9986]

He’s hilarious. He’s got a pretty awesome delivery. Very unique.

[@willt.9654]

I keep coming back to this set. It's perfect.

[@xenoslyce1781]

"Well, I want to hook up with you, but I recently had an abortion." "Do you want to have another one?" *_PFFFFFTTTTT_*

[@ClutchDre__]

“Don’t pray for me make me a sandwich or somethin” 💀

[@commandercaptain4664]

The most functional form of charity.

[@poorboi8093]

"Want another one?" lmao

[@philipralph]

"Don't pray for me, make me a sandwich!"

[@dannybrezelhorner2715]

God this was freaking great.

[@liqwiz]

I like to think he respectfully took over the torch from Mitch Hedberg. Keep innovating sarcasm Hannibal, we need it.

[@rafthethinker4948]

That's how time works

[@krushfield]

"you sitting around and not taking action as I struggle with the situation" so relevant.

[@savitar363]

can someone just give him a god damn sandwich

[@RileyWuzzHere]

“Life is all about balance.” 🤣💡

[@jasongreen5750]

Hannibal is the only person I would believe has beef with taxi drivers

[@cardorcash]

I need his confidence and his skin routine

[@ahmedboubaker8514]

Don't pray for me, make me a sandwich or something. Word!

[@marshmallowpuff4899]

His IQ is off the charts . As is his delivery . So good 😊

[@arxsvz8190]

No ones talking about the reaction from the audience at 0:58 HAHA

[@patternedpike3746]

2:16 is the start of Hannibal Buress's second most important and culturally significant stand up bit.

[@yamirderivois1814]

When I first saw the why are you booing me meme I guessed he would sound like this just by his voice

[@lashlarue7924]

Hannibal Buress is sort of like the black Mitch Hedberg (kinda, just a little).

[@lashlarue7924]

@buildboss Is this an Andy Kaufman joke? Why is this offensive, exactly? How is comparing Hannibal to one of the greatest one-liner comics of all time an offensive juxtaposition, exactly?

[@lashlarue7924]

@buildboss Has it ever occurred to you that this perception of your might just be your own personal problem? Because what you are insinuating is that it is literally impossible to even mention anything regarding race at all without it being immediately shouted down as being a bigoted remark. That is not only stupid, it is counterproductive to anyone who wants to have a frank discussion about race in any societal context whatsoever, which society really needs to be having. It also undermines the strength of your own argument and makes you out to be an angry subdominant whiner that nobody will pay any attention to. Is that how you want to be perceived? I'm sorry you evidently had a hard time dealing with big words. For whatever it's worth, I didn't have to look that one up myself because I have a large vocabulary. I'm not a bigot either, as you seem to think I am. I would be willing to bet that Hannibal himself might think it's a compliment to be compared to one of the greatest comedians of all time (I don't know this, but I suspect he's probably not as hypersensitive regarding the fact that he is, in fact, "black"). Or can we not even acknowledge the obvious (because "racist").

[@lashlarue7924]

@buildboss No, I think you proved mine. There's no logic or desire to build any understanding with you types. You just want to shout down and pretend that the world is colorblind or that race itself doesn't even exist as a social construct. Good luck navigating through society at large with that kind of brittle-ass spirit.

[@StephenRahrig]

Lash LaRue Def influenced by the 🐐 that’s pretty clear

[@undefined1022]

When he said I put my hood up to be extra creepy I spit my water all over my self

[@GerardoHernandez-mm6rh]

"Sometimes when I watch porn I put my hoodie on so I feel creepier"... That is one of the funniest shit I've ever heard.

[@evanabbott2737]

And you gotta BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!😁

[@Fitzyboy817]

Hannibal Buress is definitely a rising star

[@no_peace]

What He is a star 😡

[@cody7807]

I'll pray for you, or so you're going to sit in your apartment and do nothing while I struggle? Don't pray for me, make me a sandwich or something.

[@MajorMosh710]

"Thats growing up shit I'm planning out my life" 😂😂

[@masterxyr]

00:58 Never thought Hannibal possessed this kinda speed. Apparently, neither did the audience :J:

[@arcanefury3666]

I thought he was going to bring the bating back around at the end

[@pedroramos2156]

1:57 Thanos has been watching hannibal stand ups...

[@whitmanbarber2548]

I love the way he says his name

[@joshingaboutwithjosh]

Hannibal 2017 Don't pray for me. Make me asandwish or sumthin.

[@ADiretoria100]

wait he is a stand up comediant? I have a feeling that Eric is gonna appear any second from the sealing saying he wants to be sponsered by sprite

[@Guyonnn]

Hannibal has the ability to make the tiniest accomplishments sound like the most badass gangster shit ever. The way someone describes building an empire is how Hannibal talks about opening the pickle jar.

[@iAmEdwinHamilton]

Dude looks 45 not 28 😂 he has some “mature” features 😂

[@quieremasyeyo]

@0:57 I rewatch this clip every now and then for the crowd jumping at “NO I WASNT JAGGIN OFF, HANNIBAL!”

[@Profoundobserver]

this man just made the craziest full circle joke ive ever heard! that shit was a masterpiece

[@biologicalengineoflove6851]

“Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.” ― Madalyn Murray O'Hair Might as well shit in your hands and clap

[@frankbrewer6339]

He has great comedic timing

[@andresrodriguez372]

Prayers do nothing, yes

[@hipsyn8679]

"because I believe in myself"

[@Osiwan960]

imagine having a face that looks the same wether you're asleep or wide awake

[@MrJesusdoesntsave]

0:58 the audience jumped lol

[@luisat431]

Those eyebrows are like / \

[@GiantSandles]

Is it just me who thinks his earlier stand up is way better than his newer stuff?

[@NamdiTruth]

His cadence & timing has changed. He may be trying to give more energy/performance instead of relying on his almost deadpan cadence. Its his evolution i guess

[@M_B_J]

Life is all about balance

[@frankystrings]

this is an older set. around 2012. the content is from is special: animal furnace... when he wrote these jokes he was 28ish... not now

[@SimonVanliew26]

This video was uploaded in 2016 lmao

[@Toanuriamer99]

@@SimonVanliew26 There's probably content from the 70s uploaded to KZbin every day. A stand up clip being uploaded a few years after it was originally recorded ain't nothing special.

[@Samurai78420]

"Sometimes when I watch porn, I put my hoodie on so I feel creepier" 🤣🤣🤣