Kari's Story of Abuse in Marriage

Kari Trent Stageberg suffered in an abusive relationship. Her story of domestic violence is not uncommon. She tells of her struggles, thought processes and emotions as she was dealing with an abusive husband.
Abuse isn't just punching or slapping. Kari talks about various types of physical abuse but also touches on verbal and emotional abuse.
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#FocusontheFamily #FocusOnMarriage #domesticabuse #emotionalabuse

[@KrystleLaughter]

If your reading this: “You are loved, and you have value!”

[@Melly16yr10]

Thanks for your kind words

[@sajjadmehar1864]

Hello g

[@NinaGaekwardCheng]

Thank you sister Krystle.

[@whoooami2090]

Married to a narcissist for 34 yrs. he finally passed away. Don’t wait that long to get out. Finally free at last.

[@jeannebrassil9288]

When you do get out ex and courts will have everything because most likely they took advantage of your frail ptsd from relationship and no one will be able to help or understand what you went thru.

[@lovelyroses2314]

Lucky You!

[@annashirley3916]

I have been married for 34 years. Still married. Are you happy now?

[@whoooami2090]

@@annashirley3916 yes, I’m happy and life is finally peaceful.

[@MM-xy5xs]

@@annashirley3916 her last sentence was free at last. That sounds better than being trapped.

[@mairiamdebron1084]

To all outsiders: be that neighbour offering your key. Really really really saves lives.

[@renatalove5212]

i don't get it.

[@flaviasantos3077]

@@renatalove5212 . The key of a safe place to go, till the person know what comes next. What is the next step to do.

[@RedeemedbyYAHUSHA]

My neighbors dgaf about me

[@cyntiaangelie8157]

@@RedeemedbyYAHUSHA : same here...I am here if you need to talk.

[@lovemquiz]

I used to hide the abuse in the relationships I had before. But now I choose to see abuse for what it is. I choose to love myself.

[@mchristr]

I understand the sentiment but "love" for ourselves tends to ebb and flow with our emotions. Better yet, choose to let Jesus love you through the Spirit and the Church.

[@dingotomtom]

@@mchristr Yes!! Amen!

[@wayfarinstranger2444]

Narcissism! Research it study it, the church needs to warn and inform people about it!

[@kimberlygreidanus5639]

Amen amen amen...this is my story living and married to a covert narcissist...and everyone wants to blame it on Oh maybe its the drinking, maybe its that he's not eating well, maybe its the issues of financial stress...etc. etc.....NO, NARCISSISM IS ROOTED WITH JEZEBEL/LEVIATHAN/BEELZEBUB SPIRITS AND ITS NOT OK TO TOLERATE...ABUSE IS ABUSE IS ABUSE...VERBAL EMOTIONAL SPIRITUAL, even to the point i wish i could have bruises to show people the TRUTH, BC the person you think they are they are NOT!!!

[@bernitacenteno1326]

@@kimberlygreidanus5639 You are believed. You were wronged.

[@bernitacenteno1326]

NO BRUISES FOR ANY OF US, PLEASE.

[@saltnlight6233]

Yes , and often unseen

[@soughtaftervessel4611]

Amen

[@simplykiva6567]

I was exactly 24 when I exited an abusive relationship. Still recovering, and im still hoping in God.

[@focusonthefamily]

Thanks for opening your heart to Focus on the Family. We appreciate the time you took to share with us about your situation, and we can certainly understand the feelings you expressed. We want you to know that we will be praying for you. As we read your message, we sensed your frustration and wish it wasn’t so difficult to provide help via Facebook. Unfortunately, the kind of problem you shared is too complex to resolve in this way. We have counselors here at Focus who are available to talk with you by phone to offer encouragement and assistance. If this would be helpful, we invite you to call us at your convenience. All of our counselors are licensed therapists and understanding people. Any one of them would be of assistance from a Christian and psychological perspective. Simply call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) weekdays between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. (MT). The Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone will take your number and make arrangements for a licensed counselor to call you back. One of them will be in touch just as soon as they’re able. There is no charge for this service; please accept it as a demonstration of our concern for you. Thanks again for sharing friend. God be with you.

[@tonyshumway7652]

Proverbs 1:33 But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil. Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Hello Simply Kiva, may you be helped and comforted by these verses in the Holy Bible.

[@onfireforjesus8374]

@@focusonthefamily after watching this , I didn't know there was others than just me. This what she explained is exactly what has happened to me.

[@seanrathmakedisciples1508]

Simply Kiva it’s great that you are set free. Forgetting what is past and going forward with the Lord. All blessings and favor in Jesus name

[@daniellepearls6714]

Its very traumatic. Be kind to yourself. Take one day at a time as Jesus said to do as each day is hard enough. Have trauma therapy if you can and work through your fears with Jesus. Gods perfect love with cast out your fears. 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”✝️🙏🏻🌼

[@mommaof6]

I left my very abusive ( physical, mental, emotional) husband. Together 24yrs and 6 kids. I gave my life to Jesus. Without my husband in my daily life, I've completely surrendered to God and have drawn closer to Him. I attend church, read Bible and pray. I'm in total awe & tears of joy everyday for how God has got me through this. Supernatural peace, strength & provider. I keep my husband in my prayers and leave it in God's hand now. GLORY BE TO GOD!🙏🛐🙌❤ I will keep searching for ways to share my testimony. And I pray for those that read it will come to Jesus and you too will find refuge in Him. I ask this in Jesus name, 🙏

[@realliving7340]

I did find refuge in Jesus also. I separated after 15 years of abuse. I now have peace and joy. Best to you❤

[@joycenesselhauf1220]

I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years--physical and verbal. Best thing I ever did was leave. It left scars though. I look at men and wonder what’s hidden underneath. Are they the same? I don’t have trust anymore.

[@godmakesallthingsnew2626]

Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. ❤

[@Officialrichmartin]

Did he ever show signs of changing?

[@williamballew8660]

THIS GOES BOTH WAYS MEN ARE ABUSED ALSO

[@chaimomma9198]

@@williamballew8660 go away

[@chaimomma9198]

We won’t have victory or Peace until the End. ☄️

[@martiwalsh2069]

In a county-mandated class for people in the process of divorce, they brought in someone to speak to us all about emotional abuse. When she was done speaking, I said, "Sometimes I wished he would just hit me because then I would know what to do." Immediately, six women whom I had never met said, "Amen!" in unison.

[@em77775]

😢

[@MsKnowitall]

This is how I used to to feel. Sometimes I still feel this way because I feel like I need to be smacked still so I can have a definite reason to feel comfortable leaving someone that has hurt me. It hurts.

[@godmakesallthingsnew2626]

Not really. At that point victims are so bullied & brainwashed they often stay.

[@catut7042]

I felt the same way too. I did finally break free from him. I finally realized that being alone for the rest of my life would be better than being with him. I wish they would have talked about emotional abuse in my divorce class which was mandated by the state. All they talked about was how most divorced people go back and remarry their exes. I do wish that one of the 5 couples counselors we saw would have said that what my ex was doing was abuse. Especially the one that my ex had a screaming and yelling episode during one of our sessions. I just said that this kind of thing happened all the time and I was used to it. All the therapist said was that I just needed to accept my ex for how he is.

[@jonsmith9171]

I left my husband a year ago for the same kind of abuse, but 4 months ago I went back. I'm still miserable and fantasizing about leaving again. We have a son. The only thing keeping me here. Just a horrible feeling being stuck with your abuser and you can't speak up and you're dying on the inside.

[@jaquelinejimenez]

So true Jon Smith me too dying on the inside I feel stuck and so much pain and shame...

[@l.i.l.i.r.e.a.d.s.1231]

I left two years ago and took him back 3 times since every time things went back to normal pretty quickly the last time I took him back was 7 months ago and it was only because he made this grand gesture publicly apologized to me in front of all my close family and he proposed brought Mariachi he sang to me and so I was like WOW it happened he chnaged he loves me . Now I’m pregnant with our third child and he’s found 100 reasons to discard me hate me blame me for all his “our” problems . They say some chnage but it’s extremely rare . I won’t go back again.

[@abutterfly7975]

My guess would be that the reason that you stayed and went back is because you have issues within yourself probably trauma from childhood that influence your decision making and your self-worth. The problem with staying in an abusive marriage or an unhealthy marriage or a toxic marriage is you’re the one that ends up getting beaten down to a pulp but what people don’t seem to realize is the children get damaged permanently. The children will make the same bad decisions that you’re making, because that’s the example that’s been set for them they’ll become like the abuser some of them because that’s the example that was set for them. The girls will think they should be abused because that’s the example that was set from them. You need to get the heck out of there if you have children or you will be permanently, exposing them to very bad examples that they will incorporate in their own relationships. Do you want to see your child in the same situation that you are in do you want them to end up being divorced and single parents one day because of it those are the things that people need to think about but they don’t seem to think about from what I have observed. There’s always hope for new beginnings the longer you stay the harder the abuse is to shake and everybody that lives with it needs to be in therapy for a long time including the children.

[@thebohomom]

Did you end up leaving again? I didn't want my son's to grow up and abuse their wives based on their childhoods, that's partially what helped me stay away from my ex

[@rosalieo5045]

I hope you got away. You deserve to feel free.

[@nicholeleon3736]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I have just left my Husband for the third time...I feel like I am in the exact cycle you are speaking of. There has been both physical and verbal abuse over the course of our almost 3 yr marriage. You just gave me a sliver of hope. Bless you sis.

[@barbarakenney8288]

Boundaries are key

[@Star-dj1kw]

If there’s physical and emotional abuse, please stay AWAY from him.

[@michellemybelle9591]

You got this! Get out while you can. I did! Her story is mine. Choose life!

[@bereal2900]

The Little Shaman (KZbin podcast), and people like her, help me a lot to understand what Narcissism is and mostly myself.

[@jessicaaubrey5117]

Her story is basically the same as mine as well. I got out 5 years ago now. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but by far the best decision I’ve ever made. It really is the only decision if you want to truly live. Make a plan, have people that support you, GET OUT.

[@atinukesijuwade5994]

She’s beautiful so strong 🥺❤️

[@paulinarubey3354]

This just popped up on my feed in perfect timing.... I’m in tears.

[@RebeccaKTan]

Thankful for these resources. So many women are in this position and don't even know it. So many women are finally aware that they are being abused but don't know what to do. For any victims/survivors reading this comment, I want to tell you that there is hope. I am a survivor.

[@CookingWithLaRaven]

She's strong because of Jesus

[@terry2t889]

Amen 🙏 Praise The Lord

[@ebony2413]

I have a very similar testimony. It makes my heart happy to see this story shared on a public platform

[@BlessedbytheKingofKings]

I was married to a narcissist also. I was 17 when I met him and was 42 when I finally got divorced. I was also insecure. Never bullied in school but still insecure because I was so skinny. No one understood why I was not able to get out. I tried for years. I had Stockholm syndrome also. 😭😭 Unless someone is in your shoes they can’t truly understand. I am still healing from that relationship.

[@scrub3359]

I’m glad you got out! Can I ask what overpowered your Stockholm syndrome and made you leave him?

[@cassielindsey4970]

I can recommend you to a man who restore my marriage back within two days.

[@cassielindsey4970]

Contact him On WhatsApp

[@cassielindsey4970]

+ 2 3 4 8 1 1 8 6 5 4 5 2 5

[@BlessedbytheKingofKings]

@@scrub3359 Honestly it was Jesus! I could not have made it out if it was not for the love of Christ. He gave me the strength. 🙌

[@peaceatlast2684]

Such a beautiful, intelligent young lady. I hope her story will help others

[@writeousrhema]

Wow. She speaks so well of this situation. Helped that her dad was in that type of marriage therapy

[@mramirez5239]

More of these videos. Domestic Violence isn't going anywhere and the Church is still, largely, not equipping itself for facing this and offering REAL HELP.

[@giselbello-ruiz8072]

This describes a typical narcissist. They never change.

[@christineschauer208]

Yes Gisel~ exactly! She speaks of cognitive dissonance, gaslighting and dismantling of her self-esteem. Not her fault as they love the drama, chaos and CONFUSION they incite.

[@avanellehansen4525]

Correct. Don't look back!

[@jenhopkins8867]

This is the best description of emotional and verbal abuse that I’ve EVER heard. I’ve read a lot about the cycle of abuse but this is the first time I heard it described in such detail, all the phases ours and tte abuser. I never thought about how I isolate myself because of his derogatory comments about family and friends. I always thought he never tells me I can’t hang out with them but light bulb moment he does in other ways. This is the most enlightening video I have watched on this subject. I hope you continue to share your story, it is sure to help many many people!!! Thank you!!

[@sundancer7381]

This was an amazing description as well. I've never been in a marriage abusive relationship.......so I know what to avoid. Why do people abuse their closest ones?

[@christinedawnbrown8248]

A beautiful young woman...she. deserves to be cherished...I survived my youth and avoided abuse but I got involved in an abusive marriage in my thirties...I am in my fifties now and I suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression...

[@focusonthefamily]

Christine, we are so sorry. Praying that God's faithfulness has been carrying you through this season. If we can come alongside you in any way, please don't hesitate to let us know.

[@chaimomma9198]

We all deserve to be cherished

[@debbiemartin2026]

Same here. I understand. ❤

[@sasukelover91]

Abuse happens at all ages. It's not the age. It's what our parents and guardians didn't teach us. I am 28 and I just got out of an abusive relationship. He was everything in the beginning. But after he got my virginity he changed. So trust me I get what Kari is talking about. You can be abuised by someone who claims they love you. That is what makes it hard. But if I can find the strength to leave. We all can. It just takes a little creativity.

[@owlperchedsilo3745]

Sharlette J, you're young, so your advice and experience does not mean as much to most as you are trying to convey. you have not been there and done that. it's all in your sentences, not enough wisdom there.

[@godmakesallthingsnew2626]

So so true Sharlette ❤ And trusting in Jesus no matter what..

[@nrw7734]

@@owlperchedsilo3745 ...who are you to minimize this woman's testimony? Please tell us at exactly what age is there enough wisdom and experience? It is her right to share her experiences and what it has taught her. She is blessed to have had the strength to get out while still a young woman. It's horrible read about women stuck for 20, 30 or more years.

[@chaimomma9198]

I need certain vitamins and supplements to keep from getting sick and I have no money or job to sustain myself. I’m 43 just had Gullion Bar and almost lost my life, was losing usage of my legs, my vision etc. nobody cares, women all say “they are supporting me” and doing nothing except avoiding me.

[@chaimomma9198]

@@owlperchedsilo3745 you sound like a Pharisee

[@GabrielB7369]

I thought it was love too. For more than 10 years, it was just a trauma bond. For some of my Christian friends, cant understand why I won't reconcile with my husband. Im not ready to experience crying in my pillow for years again. It was depressing

[@stellabeam25]

I relate to her story so much. Wow. It opens my eyes. I’m sorry for not seeing it Lord. Thank you for saving me from it before it got worse.

[@buckwheat_flower]

Lost in faith happens often in an abusive marriage/relationship

[@mairiamdebron1084]

@F M yes and that’s intentional because abuse is evil.

[@tinabunton8678]

My gosh this is crazy, me and my husband been married 17 years . No one truly knows what going on behind closed doors. I'm not an angle but the it's gone from physically verbally abused to mentally emotionally verbally abusive to see him out no one could imagine his doing what he does . I'm physically emotionally broken. Believing what he says I got so depressed. Your story is like mine. Thank you

[@clairebearie87]

I can't believe how much my situation is the same as this, but I am still married

[@HuesofLavs]

Same here

[@focusonthefamily]

We appreciate you sharing so openly. We'd like to invite you to call one of our staff counselors for assistance, at no charge. You can reach us at 1-800-232-6459 to set up a time to speak to them. Meanwhile, we'll be praying for you. May His unconditional love bring you peace and understanding.

[@Thankful305]

It's like these groomers read the same playbook. Unfortunately, this is so classic of abusive relationships. But when you are entangled/immersed in it day in and day out the confusion is REAL! Those who have children are far more concerned because he will have visitation and she can't be there to protect her babies 😥 The Church needs better insight. with a better understanding on how to handle these sensitive situations. Just like she said counseling made it worse AND that is how the church handles abuse ...as a marriage problem. It is not!

[@rachelkingsley668]

@@Thankful305 yes, agree with all of that ! Abuse is a crime whether it’s in a marriage or anywhere else. We have to stop equating it with “marriage difficulties”.

[@valourempress1901]

Run get some running shoes and run very far. If you have children ,put them on your side. I had to tell my abusive husband to leave. I started by putting his clothes into his truck. After wards I protected my self with self defense tools. 20yrs of abuse, free for 17yrs now.

[@karenwebber9200]

I never would have survived had I not found Christ!

[@Mousicaddict]

Yes! Grateful for her sharing her story. She's helping me with my past abuse.

[@nisvetaninalang]

The saddest thing is that she thought she loved him. Like most of the women in that kind of story. But that had nothing to do with love. When you are in this chaos you think you know what it is. The feeling she had towards him wasn't love, not even remotely.

[@quentinfernandez4673]

The men who behave this way have had some disturbing or horrible experience when they were kids and its very difficult to change them by couselling. They live like that and dont really understand that they are doing so much of harm.

[@Non-religiou]

It is very possible that their parents abused them.

[@bonniemoerdyk9809]

Not always abuse...sometimes overindulged and are a Golden Child who can do no wrong.

[@reflexionesdelabiblia6711]

@@Non-religiou no. One parent abused the other.

[@reflexionesdelabiblia6711]

@Bianney Sanchez It’s not quite so simple as just choosing not to be. It’s part of them. They also have the same people in their lives that convince them otherwise and they tend to have similar people from similar backgrounds in their social circles. They will have moment of shame and wanting to change and even improving. But then their temptations of wanting to be with the ones that pull them down and their bad influence families....pull them back in and it effects their behaviors.

[@ecneb]

At the risk of being offensive, I find your statement potentially very damaging for a couple of reasons. First, it gives the abused a false hope for staying, thinking that the abuser was abused as a child and therefore just needs more love and he (or she) will change. Second, I have yet to meet an abuser who was not an EXCELLENT "psychologist." He (or she) can read people better than a trained psychologist and know exactly the kind of person he is looking for and how to get in her (or his) head. The abuser has carefully selected his victim. The one really true statement in your post is that counseling is ineffective on the abuser.

[@dawnstonerock884]

I think I'm dating this kind of man now. Trying to untangle. Fortunately I'm not living with him and no physical relationship.

[@kylielogan8771]

@A. Banana go very quickly and quietly I made mistake by telling him thinking we’re not helping one another so what you love you let go I was woken up to fighting for my life he beat me up fractured sternum caused cyst lump, blackened eye face and strangled me . Hospital, DV shelter restraining orders, stalking, divorce, still stalking. I’m okay now still working on myself. Hope this helps, they enjoy what they’re doing they move on to next victim... heal and love you self.

[@In_time]

Don’t _try._ Do! _Untangle._

[@steflondon88]

leave please!!

[@godmakesallthingsnew2626]

Save yourself time & pain, JUST LEAVE

[@Thankful305]

You are so articulate and nailed every aspect of the abusive relationship. Glad you decided to walk away and focus on healing. ❤ The wounds are real. This is a pandemic. As long as men are not valuing and protecting women there will be lots of Amnon's out there! (2 Samuel 13) Groom you, take you, hurt you, hate you!! It's like these groomers read the same playbook. Unfortunately, this is so classic of abusive relationships. But when you are entangled/immersed in it day in and day out the confusion is REAL! Those who have children are far more concerned because he will have visitation and she can't be there to protect her babies 😥 The Church needs better insight. with a better understanding on how to handle these sensitive situations. Just like she said counseling made it worse AND that is how the church handles abuse ...as a marriage problem. It is not!

[@christineschauer208]

Thank-full~ YES, YES AND YES!!

[@christineschauer208]

Oh my, such an accurate account of being in a relationship with a pathological person (i.e: narcissist, sociopath). It is a slow dismantling of your soul. The cycle is addictive with the chemicals it releases in the brain just as Kari expresses. Thank you for being vulnerable and telling your story!

[@i.am.mandi747]

Thank you so much for speaking about this 💕

[@donnaneiderhauser2863]

Thank you for sharing. You explained this as well as professionals.

[@tamararutland-mills9530]

Thank you for sharing. It touched my heart, and made me grateful that I was able to get out.

[@maryarnez3730]

Thanks for your sharing and honesty

[@lizaw.7313]

We need to do some serious work on the help offered in churches for marriage issues.

[@emiliaa6175]

Yes. Just experienced this. Get professional counseling from a Christian, licensed Psychologist. Don’t let the Pastor tell you what you need to do. Let the counselor determine the plan of action based on hearing from both sides. I will not be returning to that church.

[@SurvivorC]

Thank you FOF for telling this story. Please do more.

[@kathyworiax1089]

I can soooo relate to this. Been there and done that! Thank you for sharing!!!

[@bettygrable2123]

Thank you for sharing this!

[@MiracleofDeliverance]

Thank you for sharing.

[@erix4erix]

Thank you!

[@sarialue]

I will never be the same again after abuse. It’s hard to see others in marriage when mine got broken. Thank you for this video.

[@mira-slp]

The part where she said that she was so used to seeing her parents' healthy marriage that she didn't recognize warning signs (of abusive relationships) really resonated with me.

[@asrakkhatoon7139]

Oh boy... Everything about cycle and not even realizing that it's abuse and feeling hopeless about ourselves and trying to fix us to please them..oh boy.. ditto .. thank you for this video sister. I am a religious person and I lost God for a brief period and then my God found me..too during toughest part of my journey.. After being married for 12 years.. finally took protection order and took a job and hired a family lawyer for divorce.

[@julieryan8179]

The moment you realist that things just cant get any worst.

[@avanellehansen4525]

Or any better.😢

[@blessed74God]

Thank u for your story

[@vitalule8889]

Extremely accurate

[@teres469]

Between ages up to 24 you are so right..We are still only developing ourselves x

[@boaduwaantiri1425]

Powerful testimony.

[@soniachetty6899]

I can so relate to your story , nobody handed me a key , but I put on a gown to sleep & I made a wall of pillows down the bed at night. It got to a point of where I was walking on eggshells , and had to wonder what mood he was going to wake up in the next morning , yes I was sexually assaulted. I still have contact with him he has tried , every trick and tactic to hold me hostage.

[@focusonthefamily]

We're so sorry about the trauma you've been through, dear friend. If you ever need to talk, please call us at 800-A-FAMILY (800-232-6459) to arrange a free phone call with one of our counselors. May God bless you and fill your heart with His peace.

[@aprilrains3163]

I feel sick to my stomach. That part you said, " if he does ( insert anything here) then I'm done!" But I keep pushing back my boundaries. My neck has been broken, I've been told I will be killed, I am terrified. I am planning, praying, planning, and I'm so sick. I dream of the day of freedom. Tracker on my phone, gps on my car, camera s around the house. Praying.

[@melissajenkins1637]

I'm praying for you too April and for Jesus's divine protection.. And please get help from a trusted source...don't try to do this alone. 💚

[@bloomthrive9179]

April I hope you are safe now🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@macnchessplz]

Have you considered reporting it to law enforcement? Married or not,what you described is stalking.

[@sentinelsofvmi2227]

Are you okay?

[@jasminkarkada87]

I am glad ur out of this relationship. I relate to every word that you spoke, I have been there!

[@lauraball4100]

Thank you for sharing this. Do you find it hard to not recognize these red flags after having been in an abusive relationship? I grew up with an abusive narc mom and have been in more than one abusive relationship since then. They never show themselves upfront, always so charming and attentive, until they’re not.

[@bonniemoerdyk9809]

Wow ... such a perfect way to state it ... "always so charming and attentive, until they're not" (never showing themselves upfront).

[@godmakesallthingsnew2626]

You need to rely on the Holy Spirit & know your boundaries. Know what is sin & if that person is doing it or is trying to get you to do it, as nice or "loving" or convincing as they may try to come across, trying to get you to sin is the MOST unloving thing anyone can do as it hurts your relationship with Jesus. Do they truly display the fruit of the Spirit in their lives? Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you & show you if there's anything hidden.

[@luxeeventsbymerandallc2427]

same... I grew up with a narc mom also and have had 2 horrible marriages... I'm finally understanding it all....

[@barbarakenney8288]

Wow. Great video. I was verbally abused but took action..I announced that I would Not make any meals unless I was talked to correctly and it worked out great. I followed the Boundary book authors John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud on KZbin and took action from their Boundary steps to freedom. I got tough. And prayed scripture too!

[@karenwebber9200]

Excellent book

[@NLong-zk4yl]

Some of these abusers are actually not as tough as they project themselves. They abuse or bully the ones they think are weak. They like to overpower and manipulate innocent people. If you stand up to them they actually back off, i’m not saying all of them but some does because abusers comes in different personality disorders.

[@reflexionesdelabiblia6711]

@@NLong-zk4yl Yup. Stay strong and call them out. Turn the tables on them.

[@caenterprisellc6922]

I've never experienced abuse like that before. I request the Justices to please read all of the divorce papers. I recorded the events. I wanted to leave so bad. At times felt like I had to leave. It was so bad.

[@wokeisnonsense]

EVIL PEOPLE are everywhere. That's why all the more we need Jesus.

[@maryspeidel5258]

Well spoken.

[@saintamerican6105]

Im 6m pregnant and ive left my husband 6 times and i always thought.. maybe one more time but then i feel guilty for being selfish enough to leave him. When she said the avg person leaves 7 times.. my jaw dropped!

[@lorindastevens5655]

I can relate 42 years and I am made to feel like I'm a 0 he's a 10. He's an alcoholic and I love the Lord and He's all I need. So we're married he lives his life I live mine under the same roof. I just stay away from him when he Reacts and always in prayer. Thank you for your testimony Proverbs 3:5

[@melissajenkins1637]

You are infinitely valuable bcuz of Jesus. Do you think He wants you to.stay in this abusive relationship? Plz pray for revelation if your husband is like the unbelieving husband who left ( left you emotionally, beat you up mentally, and idk if physically, and having an affair w/ alcohol.)

[@wendywatkins7366]

Her hair is beautiful

[@tanyakashyap6944]

Inspiring 🙏

[@anneroarty6473]

Your such a beautiful person and I can see you have a beautiful heart and soul. Godbless you sister.

[@barbarachipman9436]

when we are young we give others the benefit of the doubt.

[@Itssofiz.]

I can relate to your story in some levels i had alot of fog in my mind full of confusion around that time for me , the moment i caught myself acting out of character and what i believed thats when i knew Ived had enough and i had to go .

[@hopefullystandinginthesun999]

I seriously struggled with all of this as well. It has been almost a year since I’ve left and I still feel so many emotions and stuck still.

[@majamedani]

This woman explains it so tryely and dyrectly. I know. Love and wish for all the victims to understand and escape on time 🤗💪♥️

[@sharonmugh6844]

i hear you sister ... Been there

[@emilygreen6308]

I’m in this exact situation right now. 😭😭

[@kayakins1709]

A lot of people are in denial about toxic people. So sad .

[@susanmcmahon4733]

You wanted to be loved

[@joancrawford1146]

My husband went through my purse yesterday bc he thought I was out buying drugs. I’m a 45 year old woman and I don’t even drink. I was a wreck and he walked around the house singing Yellow Submarine the next 30 minutes. I’m trying to leave him and I think he knows it.

[@RS-gh4ui]

I'm having a very very bad day today, my husband has come back from a 4 week holiday and it's only been 2 days and he's made me cry. I was doing ok while he was gone I have 3 kids I looked after all of them by myself while he was gone sometimes I got frustrated. But the way I'm feeling now is just different he made me feel so useless and not valued. Wanted to overdose on tablets today to just end my life this is the way he makes me feel. I even had dreams evey single night while he was away that when he came back he was just ignoring me and not loving me. And it's true what happened

[@focusonthefamily]

Dear friend, we are so sorry about the pain you're enduring. We care about you, and no matter how hurt and lonely you may be feeling right now, we hope you will see how precious you are to God. He loves you deeply and intimately, and He is there to carry you through this difficult time. If you continue to have thoughts of self-harm, we strongly encourage you to reach out to someone nearby, such as a pastor, a doctor, or another caring professional. If you are in the US, you may also call our ministry at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459) and ask to speak with one of our counselors. Or you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). Thank you for sharing. May God give you strength and hope.

[@Modrunnermusic]

The moments/time stamps that resonated with me as I have finally left my abusive husband (along with my three kids) after he was arrested for Second degree DV. 3:50:4:10 (my husband has many signs of schizophrenia), 4:44 how many times did I move the boundary back (too many times). 6:13 you get scared and isolate. 6:27 my husband isolated me by convincing me to move 11hours away from family and friends. Only to have a psychotic break and abuse me in public, which got him arrested. My life was in his hands in that moment and it was very scary. My husband isolated me in everyday by bashing friends and bashing people at church. We church hopped a lot because he always found “something wrong” basically created delusions about them being CIA or that they were covert ops following him. 7:35 how many times have we heard that apology? My husband would apologize like that and restart the cycle. I finally have stopped the cycle and Ive separated. Together for 11yrs, married for 8yrs, and finally taking steps to get free.

[@wildlule]

I relate to every word you said... . :(

[@cdrom1685]

I didn't know that Focus On The Family endorsed the right of the abused to divorce the abuser after prolonged evidence of unrepentance. Interesting, I read somewhere that they were part of those who enabled the abuser but I guess this video proves that wrong. Thanks for sharing

[@dona3737]

I wish you to find peace on ou heart and to find true love and to be love I understand so much you cause i destoryd from a psychopat man and icant heal from dep depression at psychiatry

[@funmilolaawe8839]

I'd like to join your group please? Do you have an office in Nigeria. You're really doing a great work

[@focusonthefamily]

Thanks for your kind comments! We don't have an office in Nigeria, but we do have an outreach that serves the African continent: www.safamily.co.za/. Blessings!

[@kimberly_lali]

It is true divorce is a sin and we need to do our best to fight for our marriage. However, divorce is like any other sin just because I got a divorce doesn't mean God will never love me anymore. I have personally seen many woman been cheating on so many times and beaten by their so call "Christian" husbands and stay in the marriage because of this confusion. I put up with emotional and physical abuse for 3 years and prayed to God about it before and I did it and it was best for both of us.

[@rosalieo5045]

I'm so trying to be happy again, but being stuck living with my ex is pushing me to a breaking point. I'm constantly being gaslight, stressed, and pushed. If I cry, he gets angry. If I defend myself, he gets angry. How do I get through this?

[@mandyc1452]

I’m in a situation where I feel stuck…. 😢

[@millicentbrock4227]

Wow this is my story. Smh! Im still married but separated. Im not clear on what I should do. Most people tell me that he will never change. But im not sure if that is the case. We share a Daugther together which makes it very difficult to come to a decision to divorce or reconcile. I need help. Im trapped and unsure of what my next move will be.

[@jesusisthelordofall4715]

I am going through the same thing but without children. How are you doing now?

[@hannarice3007]

I was with a woman called Sheran Loran and she didn’t hit me but she humiliated me in public day after day until I snapped

[@marilynannmanes5953]

Poor Girl .

[@irinaifraimova3127]

I'm praying for all my fathers and all my mothers and I'm praying for my sisters and my brothers and my future husband my future kids I'm really right now happy because I love this relationship with my ex man

[@sheeekoo1]

Great story may God protect you How would you deal with a woman that see the leadership of her husband (preventing over spending/ future financial planning etc) as Abuse ?

[@focusonthefamily]

Thanks for contacting Focus on the Family. We appreciate the time you took to share with us about your situation, and we can certainly understand the feelings you expressed. As we read your message, we sensed your frustration and wish it wasn’t so difficult to provide help via Facebook. Unfortunately, the kind of problem you shared is too complex to resolve in this way. We have counselors here at Focus who are available to talk with you by phone to offer encouragement and assistance. If this would be helpful, we invite you to call us at your convenience. All of our counselors are licensed therapists and understanding people. Any one of them would be of assistance from a Christian and psychological perspective. Simply call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) weekdays between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. (MT). The Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone will take your number and make arrangements for a licensed counselor to call you back. One of them will be in touch just as soon as they’re able. There is no charge for this service; please accept it as a demonstration of our concern for you. Thanks again for sharing friend. God be with you.

[@natafutanjia7518]

I would say there is definitely more than that. Talk to a trustful, objective 3rd party. Both people. There's more to that question

[@sheeekoo1]

MURINGI MWANGI please elaborate, what would be “the more to that question” in your opinion?

[@sheeekoo1]

Could it be possible that some women can torment their men mentally/emotionally ??

[@natafutanjia7518]

Both men and women can abuse one another in many different ways, unfortunately. Perspectives are different. What you may see as leadership, someone else may construe it as complacency. Yet another would see it as being a bully. That said if you are a believer in Christ, His word, Matthew 18: 15-17 in my opinion, offers how to deal with a sin/conflict. And numerous times in Proverbs it is written to seek wise counsel, being careful not to be wise in your own eyes. I can't tell you what deeper issues there without hearing both parties out. I can only speculate that trust is an issue. I hope the ones involved will be able to find good, Godly counsel to walk with them to

[@freerobuxcheckmychannel2521]

25 years until I got out. I feel so foolish

[@lastnamefirst1981]

Don't feel foolish. I'm 27 years in and I'm still stuck.

[@chocolate4135]

I am 55 and I think I am in an abusive relationship but I'm stuck😔

[@lastnamefirst1981]

💛I'm 41 in the same boat.

[@charlakok3658]

Anyone else on why the Hope Restored weekend does not work for couples from abusive relationships?

[@focusonthefamily]

Thanks for your comment, Charla. When a couple expresses interest in our Hope Restored intensives, we do our best to help them discern whether the time and circumstances are right for them to benefit from an intensive. If you or a loved one has further questions, please give our Hope Restored team a call at 1-866-875-2915. They'd love to speak with you. God bless you!

[@pepperbird1212]

She is sincere but if you listen and observe for awhile you can see how she advertises a vulnerability and learned helplessness that the narcissist exploited. She was brought up in a family of origin that emphasized forgiveness, the eternal promises of marriage, the man as the powerful head of the household, and so on. The narcissist probably exploited that too. I'm glad she finally got free, because her upbringing and childhood experiences apparently handicapped her own sense of self-worth.

[@em77775]

It wasn't her upbringing that handicapped her. A narcissistic abuser will break anyone down. The abuse and control are very subtle and insidious. It takes a long time for a person to realize what's going on and by then they are so shattered and desperate.

[@daniellepearls6714]

1 John 4:18 New King James Version “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”✝️🙏🏻💞

[@Flowikie]

At least you got an apology.

[@Flowikie]

😢 I'm sorry you had to go through such an experience.

[@sharonadellehalls8987]

And when your abuser is the pastor

[@reflexionesdelabiblia6711]

Yikes. Tell the congregation and tell them you need a ride to get help. Someone should offer to help you. Ask someone at church if they will take you to their home and help you get out. He likely won’t be able to make a seen on a Sunday. You have to try to tell someone.

[@cyntiaangelie8157]

My abuser was the pastors son . There was also 3-4 pedophiles in the church. Protect yourself. They know what they are doing is wrong. Report them to the police and get a restraining order. Some church folks will not believe you but that is not your problem.

[@MastersGraduate2023]

Kari is a cute and an adorable looking young lady. She is huggable.

[@karen94558]

The moment I came to Jesus Christ and was set free. Once I confess him as my Lord and savior. My marriage has been Falling apart. I said to my husband that Jesus Christ is the King and is sitting on the throne of my heart, he has completely changed. He been gas lighting, stonewalling, been so rude and mean to me. There’s is no communication between us because he can’t handle the truth of Christ in me. There’s so much love and peace in my faithfulness to my lord Jesus Christ. Please pray for me. Karen

[@Helpmenowplz]

I made a video recording of my narcissist mother but I’m not sure if I’m being abuse or not