What A Therapist Is Really Saying | Kati Morton

I asked you what things your therapist says that you don't understand, and today I decode them with the help of patient kati and therapist kati. I explain what sitting with a feeling means, what a trauma narrative is, and many more! I hope you like this style of video, and if you want me to do others like this, just let me know in those comments! xox
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #therapy
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[@juibelly2318]

I really like the style of different perspectives/dialogue you're using in this video!

[@winfreyc2010]

I think it's patronizing.

[@Katimorton]

Awe thanks :) I am so glad!! xoxo

[@tsubaith]

“Oh okay” - that’s literally me as a client

[@medcat6531]

Well... then you're talking more than me in therapy. :) All I am able to do during a session is nodding or shaking my head. I barely talk to my therapist. - Don't get me wrong... She's great! I just never learned how to express my thoughts an emotions. :/

[@freezeblizz]

Me tooooo haha because I really didn’t know what else to say lol.

[@carolinadocarmo3783]

😂yes!

[@rosiedubs6315]

I’m a therapist and this was a great way to help reframe the language I’m using with a client immediately after I say it.

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! xoxo I was surprised at their questions, and what they didn't understand.. I am so glad this helped and reminds us all to be more clear when talking to clients :)

[@heatherpurtell8412]

Same with me

[@oli-6309]

the cuts between her being the client and being the therapist are SENDING ME this video is so good tho 10/10 💀💀💀

[@imaginechi7677]

What do you mean sending you

[@cd4536]

I am an extremely literal thinker. So when my therapists have said sit with a feeling I picture sitting with an actual emotion next to me.

[@quazymodo3648]

Ha me too 🤣

[@albagizal1046]

I know this is serious but it made me giggle - I can imagine a person bringing one of those emoticon cushion things into the session and saying 'I've brought my emotion to sit with' :P

[@cd4536]

@@albagizal1046 yeah. I was thinking of those little characters they were like Mr.Happy and Miss Contrary.

[@cd4536]

@@quazymodo3648 Glad I am not the only one!

[@marias8007]

Haha cute

[@TheWriterOnFire]

I love the facial expressions of the "patient." Just saying "yeah... uh okay sounds gpod..." I have done that more times than I can count

[@missbumblebee8633]

Me too, it's usually when I don't understand... :))

[@_just_TK]

THERAPIST: “You need to speak more kindly to yourself” ME: “I don’t understand this concept” 🤷‍♀️ ::Therapist scribbles on notepad:: “Uses self-depreciating humor as a coping mechanism....or is an idiot”

[@PeachHeadzAddiction]

😂😂😂

[@hannabab8630]

ME: You are such an idiot, you were again so embarrassing. ME notices unkind words. ME: You are such an idiot, you cannot even talk to yourself kindly. This happened a lot... Does anyone know this?

[@Karen-vl7vf]

Me literally every session.

[@Lensynth]

I tell myself that humor is a mature coping mechanism... It could be worse...

[@quazymodo3648]

Bahaha totally

[@sometimesaranda2779]

“Oh okay” “okay sounds good” is literally my contribution whenever I hear stuff like that haha this was great, please do more parts to this

[@God-AllahLovesIsrael]

This is a great idea for a mini-series. Let's go for part 2, 3...

[@xzonia1]

+

[@M-CH_]

This is an idea for a soap opera.

[@yentl]

Yesss it’s really helpful!

[@miriamnpurple]

Part 2 please!!! I want to know about the phrase "why is it so important for you to have an answer?" Or the "why is it so important for you to put a name on it?"

[@DG_Raizen]

I'm about a month from my MSW and my field supervisor always asks me to ask these questions of clients. Occasionally, she'll pull that style of question on me as well.

[@BigGrabowski]

My therapist never said any of these things. She'd just continually ask "how does that make you feel", while never offering a mode of moving forward, past mood journals. Maybe she was just more reflection-based, but as a child with anxiety and c-ptsd, I needed a therapist with tools for molding my traumas into past events, not making me stew in them for years.

[@millymonster16]

Lindsay Greenho I had to try 4 different therapists before I realized the other therapists weren’t right for me. I had one therapist who would only hand me a worksheet than never really even related to what we were talking about

[@VideoCesar07]

Therapists are like shopping for clothes. You might have to try several before you find one that is a right fit. My former therapist moved out of state and I had been with her for almost 8 years. She really listened and offered good advice about what I should try to do. Its been 6 months and I still haven't found a new therapist I like because some do what you mentioned or, like milda, they just give you homework with stuff I could do myself. I know I need to do the work to help myself but I want more than a cookie cutter answer.

[@BigGrabowski]

@@millymonster16 Yeah, I had two other therapists before her who were of the same school (I left them for simply not getting along with their personalities), and I think that put me off seeing another therapist. I ended up using self-help books and online forums as a way to cope, and I think I'm okay now. Just not 100%. One day, I hope I can get the courage to go to therapy again. I'd ask the last therapist, "is that normal?" if I had an intrusive thought, in the hopes she'd tell me intrusive thoughts are common. She'd take it literally, and say that the thought was not a normal thing to think. Like, duh.

[@cassiek1984]

I agree. I’ve been through four therapists as well and all they ever tell me is I need to get out more and have a life. As a person with cptsd and social anxiety and extremely introverted this doesn’t make sense to me.

[@caitparker1603]

@@cassiek1984 SAME, sometimes it literally makes you feel worse? Like at times I feel like I'm the problem because I can't move forward and do certain social things ect. Thought I was the only one

[@chrisn8703]

So how about when y'all say "Interesting" because it legit freaks me out every time mine says it 😂

[@zuri4life]

yes, i often wonder what that means. My psychologist says that all the time and i have no idea what he means

[@meriahcalvert5973]

"Sit with that feeling" is probably my therapists favorite thing to say to me. 😂 My therapist is out of the office last week and this week, and I've had some huge life things happening. I'm so happy I have some videos that will help me make it through till she's back. (My therapist also references Inside Out a lot) Thanks Kati! ❤

[@jillnewton9654]

Then why do some therapists I call on Helplines want me to distract myself, not sit with the distress. Is there a time to sit with distress and a time to distract from distress.?

[@SiobhanColette1994]

@@jillnewton9654 my guess is that therapists would want you to stay with your feelings in a safe place (like their office) but if you need to call a helpline you may need to use distractions to keep yourself safe.

[@JSandwich13]

My therapist talks about inside out a lot too!

[@heliosfromacrossastar878]

Siobhan You are right! You can also reflect on your feelings at home or any other place. Even if you feel pretty bad you can still reflect on it. But when you are in crisis, it is better to first practice self-regulating behavior. Such as taking a walk or doing something that gets you out of your head. It’s like physical training; you want to train to build up muscle (tolerance for bad feelings/sitting with the emotion) but you don’t want to overtrain and injure yourself (spiral further down when in crisis).

[@britt_2617]

I work in an eating disorder treatment facility and we use this language all the time lol It's helpful to be reminded that most people don't know these terms/phrases

[@marygrott8095]

My therapist will often ask me what color and/or shape a feeling has. I can never answer this.

[@Richcovephoto]

Tell them you don’t want to do it.. It’s not an effective intervention for YOU they need to try something else, they need to adjust their approach to help you in your own style not theirs.. good luck

[@MultiSenhor]

My therapist asked me to describe what feeling I have when I hear the word "homophobia". I think she didn't get that I'm actually fine with the term, it is the very word formation that bothers me.

[@ghostie7790]

Wtf? LOL

[@j.h.3828]

I read a book on anxiety once-- called Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong-- in which the author presented an exercise in creating specific mental images to help the reader recognize and observe certain thoughts and feelings that come up. As I recall it, the exercise was meant to help the reader take recurring thoughts/feelings from being something abstract/vague-- and thus internalizing them-- to giving them a more "tangible" form. I get the impression your therapist might have a similar idea in mind. Might be worth asking him/her of this is the concept he/she is getting at.

[@raygrey2018]

Their modality might be Gelstalt, it’s all about creative thinking

[@TheHuber26]

40 seconds in and I’m loving this already. Love the client view as well. This is going to be so helpful for people. Thanks so much Kati. I love how you make such relatable and retainable content.

[@anothernumber9753]

haha it's like I don't read my textbook I just watch kati morton videos sometimes. tbh.

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! I am so glad you enjoyed it!! xoxo

[@BeeBeeMacGee]

I really like learning what therapists actually mean, or what they’re actually thinking, because a lot of the time, we’ll either humanize them and assume they have the same feelings similar to what our friends have expressed in our past, or we’ll jump to the worst case scenario and think ‘they’re getting rid of me because I’m hopeless, they’re only collecting a paycheck, they aren’t acknowledging any progress so what’s the point of trying, etc...’

[@anothernumber9753]

I feel like therapists and psychology students use the word "insight" a lot. like way more than the general population. is that a thing or is that just me? -a psychology student 😂

[@Gohangr1828]

It sounds to me, like saying that footballers use the word ball a lot. :) Psychology is basically understanding yourself first. Your feelings. The way you think. Why you react the way you do. Insight. The work of a psychologist is to teach others how to be insightful. By understanding yourself, you become more aware, more understanding of others and appreciate everything more.

[@anothernumber9753]

NotACapitalist sorry what exactly was I supposed to get from this? I’m confused

[@danielled8779]

“Processing” is another one us counselors like to use 😆

[@anothernumber9753]

Danielle D yess!! I’m taking a class about group therapy and dynamics and we talk about processing and process A LOT! I’m glad you mentioned this lol 🙂

[@katieelspeth2299]

When I started going to therapy as a 19 year old, I didn't really feel empowered to ask for clarification, or if my therapist could rephrase her questions. She would always ask me "how does it feel to say that?" and I was like "Duh, I'm here because everything feels terrible all of the time". I thought I needed a new therapist, but when I explained the problem, she found a new way of trying to get at that information. As an adult, I'm much more comfortable asking for a different approach if something she's asking doesn't vibe with me.

[@xzonia1]

The back and forth in this video made it easy to understand what you're discussing, and your facial expressions as the patient were adorable! X) I'd love more videos like this. :)

[@allie54774]

That face you did after saying emotional charge, I swear I must have made that face at my therapist so many times when I first started therapy 😂

[@suzannejanke1588]

“Find your inner child”. No idea what the heck that means I have so many shattered marbles, my way of coping was forgetting certain things. I’m seeing a great therapist right now and she really listens and makes sure I understand. 💕💕💕 You are fantastic and love that you touch on sorts of topics! I have old friends that I have known for 30 plus years, but no new friends.. 😕😕😕😕

[@zehara5032]

I really like the style of this video

[@Katimorton]

Yay!! I am so glad :) xoxo

[@88QueenOfHearts]

Definitely a part 2 and beyond please! Its interesting getting to understand the other side better.

[@p.a.7075]

Absolutely LOVED this video!! YES! PLEASE MAKE MORE LIKE THIS!! Harkens back to your older ones.

[@JustmeNici]

Omg I need this so much rn hahaha, I've started seeing a therapist again just recently and I actually think he can really help me, he's quite straightforward so easy to understand and that helps, but sometimes he says things that seem logical to him but confuse me haha. Whenever I ask he always elaborates, but sometimes I only realise I don't understand after the appointment😂😂

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad this was helpful :) And feel free to add in any other things that I should explain or define for you :)

[@tia283]

Sit with that feeling --> examine that feeling Feeling anger in your body --> recognizing our physical reactions to anger Dysregulated --> to have emotional outbursts Trauma narrative --> Trauma experience/story Holding space for you --> Available for support Emotional charge --> Emotional upset Thought or belief? --> Passing thought or true belief? This was my takeaway. Love the bloopers at the ends of your videos.

[@rachelheflin0584]

My therapist likes to use the phase emotions and feelings. That's what we are working on in therapy.

[@angelapetrarca7657]

This by far one of my favorite videos Kati Morton has ever done I’m currently in therapy and this all makes so much sense as to what I’m going through

[@marynotess3196]

One thing I always struggle with is the feeling better part. I distract myself from the unpleasant feelings because when I sit with them, I stay there. Talking about it in therapy just puts me right back in that pot of neverending unpleasantness and so I leave sessions moodier than when I went in and dreading the next session.

[@JSandwich13]

My therapist calls a trauma narrative a trauma timeline. Our next sessions are surrounding creating that trauma timeline. Thank you for explaining these terms, it is so helpful

[@ItsWillieGirl.1960]

Katie, you're totally amazing!! Thanks so much for the great insight!!

[@anjanaefreitas9893]

Please do a part 2! This Is so beneficial 🙌🏽 as someone who in a DBT treatment program and in grad school for LMFT I love that once you reference DBT and two the education behind these phrases. I remember first coming into therapy having no idea what any of this means, and you spot on give the right descriptions. Thank you for being you Kati!

[@admirbarucija2018]

I just woke up and I’m so excited to have your video to start the day off with!! 💞 Kati I hope you have a superb week

[@AutumnJen]

Great video. It’s so important that people are not afraid to ask questions or ask what something means. If your therapist makes you feel dumb or inadequate for asking questions then you need to find a new therapist. It’s OK to ask questions if you don’t understand something. 🖤

[@Tiacox]

Your content just keeps getting better every week! Love the videos

[@melancholysin]

Kati I want to say thank you so much for all you do! These videos have truly helped me try to understand myself and they sparked the passion I now have for psychology.

[@universalmindtherapy]

Just heard you on Practice of Therapy Podcast. Thank you for creating your channel. I just started my channel last year because there’s a lot of misinformation out there that I feel contribute to the negative stigma of seeking the help of therapy. I love to see therapists use social media to spread education and awareness. You’re doing a great job. ♥️

[@adrianacusenza3842]

Kati this was such an amazing video. I love how you had the perspective of the client and the therapist. I hope you can do a part two to this! Love you :))))

[@snuffyscorner]

I had to write my Trauma Narrative. I did it in 2 goes, and it helped so much and it lessened the emotional response. It wasn't just the trauma I couldn't talk about it was everything that had to do with my husband. Our life, grandchildren, England where we lived, his children, food we ate, just anything that was related to him would break me down. It was like that marble shattered over everything and no matter what memory it was about Peter there were shards of glass on it so it hurt too much to remember anything. I spent a year not able to remember him because I couldn't handle the fallout. Writing it all down and putting the shards back into a memory of its own ...well I wish I could express the difference. Although I get a bit of anxiety because I expect it hurt after I push past, I can remember him, happily. There is still sadness but I there is no longer this screaming terror that wells up in my and drowns me. And I can remember what happened to him. I know this was just step one and I have a lot longer to go. But at at least I'm able to remember the love of my life.

[@TheSophieLOUx]

I have literally just come back from seeing my therapist. I needed this x

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay! I hope it was helpful :) xoxo

[@j.j.thevictor3201]

Super fun to see you roleplay like that! Your reactions as the cliënt are pretty relatable. Maybe you could write a session about a certain topic and play it out in its entirety. Maybe you can ask us what we thought was happening throughout the session from both perspectives, and in a following (or the same) video explain it from your professional perspective! I think it could be very helpfull to see you do sessions like that on topics like depression, anxiety, trauma, personality disorders (I really hate the word disorder..but oke), and for example relationship issues. You could teach us so much!

[@raycerockey2698]

Will you make a video about EMDR therapy? I think it is a very amazing thing that people often know very little about! It would be cool to see you make a video about it!

[@_just_TK]

Rayce Rockey she already has several videos about it! kzbin.info/www/bejne/fpnEiHyMgJt4iKs

[@justmeeh223]

Wow! 🤯 You too it to another level and just elevated us! There are a few things in here that really resonated with me. Now I can understand when my therapist ask what’s the beliefs system behind the feelings? I never really understood her until now. Thanks for decoding these for us!👌

[@larryfritz1726]

That was one of the best I've seen for awhile 💛

[@E1e4n0rS]

Mini series of this please!!

[@treatmenice1564]

agree

[@shadowpuppetn.n1076]

Thank you for existing

[@medicalfieldlover1236]

I'm so glad I recently found your channel! Your videos are so helpful! I'm not able to see my therapist for 3 months and it's definitely been difficult. But your videos have been helping me. ❤

[@_just_TK]

Medical Field Lover Welcome to the Community!

[@roma4241]

You're such a great actress, Kati!! That was really fun to watch, thank you for making therapy fun.:)

[@bethany-b2pkfilms792]

Kati! This helps me so much! Thank you!! i love this style of video! Good job on this

[@laurenaubert3260]

Totally off topic but I appreciate how calming your intro/outro music is wow

[@thestoryofkim9595]

I loved this video especially the “thoughts and belief” i deal with anxiety and sometimes i will get panic attacks in unknown places and i didnt know it was a “thought or belief” but i kept saying to my therapist “i have to rewire my brain to get it to realize a place is safe especially if i go there regularly so what i do is no matter how many panic attacks send me home i keep going back to make my brain realize i keep going here and maybe this IS a safe place and i should this not be a dangerous place after all.

[@mariajoselosanavalencia6762]

Kati I love your videos!! Thank you!! I would really like more videos like this, so totally up for a part two!!

[@darlouthia5153]

Really great video. Thank you.

[@Rapidash41]

Recently I’ve been looking into being a therapist. (People have always felt they can vent to me even people I don’t know. Maybe it’s an energy.) and these videos have been extremely helpful. It really has given me the chance to examine my own behavior, so I hope I can help others when they vent to me more. I have two friends one has been known to cut the other I’m trying to convince to seek professional help (their parents aren’t very supportive) and it really has put me at ease.

[@elizamaria3008]

I would LOVE a part two!

[@TheRexTera]

Holding space is such a fantastic skill to learn. The phrase “I know how you feel because I [self-inject]”. Is a plot-device used in storytelling to develop a character for an audience and should not be used in real life communication. If someone is trusting you to opening up to you that should be validation enough. You’ll betray that trust if you make it about you, even if it’s meant as to convince someone that you can relate. True compassion is to see beyond what you can understand yourself.

[@skinni_the_P00hBear]

I wanna become a counselor once I'm done with college. I think I'm gonna start using your videos as study materials (as well as my own experiences lol). ♥️

[@Katimorton]

Yay!! You are going to be a great counselor :) xoxo

[@eybaddictw1025]

Yes part two :) really enjoyed it!

[@vickiplatford1668]

Brilliant video, thank you 💕

[@patrickdodds7162]

"Holding space" is the only term I've ever heard from my therapist. However, she meant it to mean essentially, "keeping it together during a tough situation." This is a great video, Kati. It gives me a guide for future therapy sessions if these terms are used.

[@amytennant6273]

Please make more❤️this was so helpful

[@8jc1]

Love this video 💗 it was 100% accurate! I definitely was able to relate for the “client Katie.” Would love to see another video like this especially one that has to do with thoughts a person struggling with an Ed has 🙏🏼 Please and thank you

[@lisafisher765]

Yes do more of these!

[@gabbygray9267]

Wow! Really well done. I love the style of this video and would definitely like to see more!

[@rawrpunzel3826]

Haha loved the little sketch parts! Thank you for always making great content for us

[@rionamatsuba238]

I really enjoyed this video thank you Kati!

[@cassandrahornsby8510]

Yes more videos like this please!

[@michellefinneran1209]

That was really helpful. Thanks Katie.

[@essteekay5695]

Love this kind of video!

[@shelleyloya6703]

You're brilliant, informative, and very helpful. Thank you so much! Blessings 💕

[@thespanishtutorforkids]

Kati this video was great!!! I loved the format! Can you do more of these please? :-)

[@rachelbrame9584]

I love this video! Great content hilarious presentation! I love patient Kati! So relatable! 😂😂 Thanks for all you do!

[@passaggioalivello]

Yes, a part two will be great.

[@AZKflamenco]

Love the creative videography Kati!! Really enjoyed watching it and I can see all sorts of possibilities with this style! Inner critics, ED voice etc..... just saying 😁☺️🥰

[@sabrinayavari4502]

this is so helpful! loved it

[@blondie-1112]

Thanks for the vid. 🙂 I have an amazing relationship with my therapist

[@LifeBetweenTheDash]

Really great Kati. A perfect way to illustrate the terms.

[@hopegold883]

Thank you!

[@sewkale]

one therapist had me focus on "feeling things in my body", but it was too soon in my treatment for ED/PTSD and it made me feel so much worse, because I felt things so intensely all the time to begin with. Had to see someone new because of how triggering it was. If this happens to anybody else too, don't be afraid to speak up!!! You are valid!!

[@Redmel9]

I love this video so much!

[@lindseygee5867]

Loved this format and seeing you in different roles! :) Even though I was somewhat aware of what these phrases might mean, this certainly added more insight! :)

[@lailashakira4253]

Yessss part 2!!!

[@yvettedesmarais8107]

This was a great video. I’d enjoy a part two. I can’t think of too many phrases my therapist uses that are difficult. Maybe: boundaries, trigger, value?

[@AcidNoir]

Would love to watch a part 2.... my therapist always said “and what about you”.... I think Ive spent so much of my life doing the things others needed of me, i now don’t really know who I am or what I want/need... anyways, thanks for this video kati 💜💛🧡❤️💚

[@H2Obsession]

It's amusing/entertaining to watch you play 3 different roles in a single video. I'm not qualified to judge the quality of your acting, but enjoyed the experience and appreciate the effort. Anyway, I learned some things and like this different/creative approach. Thank you and keep up the good work!

[@bellael65]

I would love to see more parts to this video!!

[@ehc9590]

So helpful and interesting! Would love to see a part 2😀

[@hassunassu3696]

Awesome video again!🔥and I love that welccomee! at the beginning😂❤️

[@UniqueSouls]

This video was really well done!

[@patricialong7047]

Dr. Kati, this is fantastic information. Thank you, thank you!

[@storytellerhut3488]

I loved this video!!! Yes please to more!!!

[@omarsheriff4025]

The best thing we can do for a therapist is work our shit with whatever help they can give us 💯❣️.Coz they too are humans in the most Lovely way, and is they have a pretty hard life doing it which ofcourse most love it anyway. Ps: I know it's harder being the patient but they deal with many of us.

[@live0love0laught]

I absolutely would love a part 2 !!!

[@ogsupremelyvida]

I NEEDED THIS 😭😭

[@Vlasko60]

Thank you Kati. My counselor back in the day used to use the term "deal with it" and I would just agree until one day I realized I had no idea what he meant by "deal with it". It was a vague term with no details that I had heard my entire life. When I finally became more assertive I asked "what does that even mean?". That was the beginning of real progress. I always felt, even in therapy, that I was supposed to know things I didn't know or have an answer when I didn't have one. I was being a complete phony as a person just because I had to pretend to understand things I didn't....all the time, because someone else was expecting me to know or understand it. I am in therapy again after over 20 years and I feel very comfortable asking anything I need to ask to get clarity.

[@melislee10]

I would like to see more videos like this! This was helpful :)

[@edwardianspice1]

Love it, Kati xx thanks

[@kt_rvs2731]

More please! I'm a new art therapist and this is helpful to me to learn to clearly explain all these therapeutic terms I'm taught but my participants may not understand

[@jenmarroquin8361]

This was so helpful!!