Kermode Uncut: Gods of Egypt

[@McPhisto]

"I'm a vulture, and your film is roadkill" That's an Ebert-level burn right there. A line for the ages.

[@TheJosephB333]

Part time film critic. Full time savage.

[@bartholen]

And he's coming for you. KERMODE in theaters 2017.

[@EdwardClayton]

Did he just refer to his own film as a dying carcass?

[@stiiffyrabbit]

If he did, it save me saying it!

[@dougdougw]

Yes, sort of...as Kermode himself pointed out in the video.

[@Terracorrupt0]

Kermode going savage :D

[@mediocrefunkybeat]

Kermode is at his best when he's off on one. Long may it continue!

[@pooplop8458]

Kermodes closing statement was savage, i lol'd

[@ixtlguul4578]

Kermowned!

[@noemiecansier8466]

I saw this in a totally empty cinema eating supermarket sushi and being as raucous as I pleased. Great fun.

[@aaronb2136]

I guess he didn't like it...

[@frogambassador]

now now, no need to jump to conclusions

[@Hokum_Paints]

Film of the week confirmed!

[@SuperThumpasaurus]

He was a skosh ambiguous and noncommittal, huh. For once I wish Kermode would stop hedging and be honest.

[@TulilaSalome]

My thoughts exactly. Like the Pain and Gain review - just left me wondering well what did you *actually* think of the movie?

[@RuariChisholm]

"the film is a dying carcass" was what I thought when he made that vulture analogy in the first place

[@floragosling84]

"I am indeed a vulture, and you're film's road kill." Someone get that on a t shirt

[@LJY08]

I find Kermode to be one of the better critics and is generally pretty fair with his reviews. He tries to find the good in every film, even ones he wasn't particularly fond of, but some films just have nothing good going for them. He also acknowledges that some movies may just not be to his taste, and that others in the audience appeared to enjoy the film. I'll always love his takedown of the Entourage movie - it's priceless in its severity.

[@AmazingJoe96]

what a great zinger at the end

[@rageagainstmyhairline5574]

This review brought me much happiness. At the same time, though, I kinda like going to sleep with this on at volume level 2 on my TV. Dunno why, it's just great to turn over and start to expand your mind whilst this tat plays in the background. Incidentally, I haven't been able to get all the way through in one sitting unless I fall asleep about 15 minutes in.

[@Redem10]

My brother is a CG artist and he had to work on this movie, he didn't actually told us about it he did prefering to tell us about his work on hail cesear and I only learn about it when I looked at his credit page on hollywood com

[@JohnnyWrong]

Post-Dark City, Proyas has been such a disappointment.

[@retrorevival1]

he was meant to make an adaptation of Milton's Paradise Lost which I was really looking forward to but it got shelved.

[@BloodoperaBlackvomit]

He really should thank his art department for his earlier work... clearly he knows nothing of ANYTHING visual.

[@MatthewIanDollar]

That's a really clever edit at 2:45, love you Kermode.

[@planespeaking]

I watched this for the blood & gore and was not disappointed...Mark's review, not the film

[@CarmineReviews]

One of the best Kermode reviews ever.

[@The3rdGunman]

What happened to Alex Proyas...He's made some great movies. Dark City & IRobot were very good.

[@dimavasilev5342]

Real question though, is it one of those films that bypasses intolerably bad to become laughably brilliant, like The Room and Birdemic?

[@madsstaysnoided558]

Too much money to be charming

[@PauLtus_B]

"Too much money". It's one of these things where practical effects show their absolute benefit. Because if both are bad, practical effects are still funny, CGI is just unbelievable and boring.

[@madsstaysnoided558]

+PauLtus B exactly

[@PauLtus_B]

Mads Stays Noided Things like old crappy gory effects, puppetry, things that look (and probably are) cardboard. It's sort of charming.

[@dimavasilev5342]

I'm in two minds now though, since you guys and Kermode are all putting it in the "inexcusably terrible" camp, but James King's review just put it in "so bad it's good." I guess it'll just be down to individual takes.

[@jamesbastion7258]

How do you go from making the Crow and Dark city to this? I've seen god's of egypt clips online, bloody awful.

[@IgnoresTrolls]

A 7 minute Kermode Uncut about a critical bomb summer blockbuster, this is only going one way.

[@Hokum_Paints]

The weird thing is, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is actually very good in Game of Thrones... So how has the director managed to get such bad acting?

[@PauLtus_B]

You still need a good director to get a good performance out of a good actor.

[@HeyTray1]

Oh simple, he made him read his script

[@cronnyberg]

As is Chadwick Boseman in a variety of other performances. It does indeed make you wonder. Although if you believe the interviews, Boseman took the film as a form of protest because he was the only black actor approached for a part. I could very easily see him playing it over the top on purpose if that were the case.

[@DrewJPS]

Brilliant. I'll rush out and completely ignore it immediately.

[@theperfectimperfect]

I still wanna watch it though

[@spino155]

This review has made me so excited to watch this movie good thing I work at a cinema and get free tickets

[@ironhills]

Now that's a review. A culture gets not only the films but the critics it deserves.

[@Sarusource]

So, Mr K kinda liked it?

[@CS-mo7xp]

no need to go in on the chuckle bros like that

[@BamBam-gs7eb]

Kermode's best review since Entourage! Yeah! :-D

[@Turanic1]

I liked the film, but I watched it in Russian DUB , Russian dubbers make miracles, then it all goes along very well with CGI, watchable for one round and out of love for Jamie Lannister

[@onepiecefan74]

I like Kermode but i think Alex is largely right. Critics have developed a strong heard mentality (i think BvS is this years strongest example of the negative direction). I dont think this has always been the case(RT helps one know what the consensus is) and it doesn't happen for every film but ive definitely seen it play out.

[@ironhills]

Actually, they aren't tough enough. There are no Pauline Kaels or James Agees in this current "herd" of critics. The fact that they go after certain movies viciously making all the same points suggests quite clearly how bad they must be.

[@onepiecefan74]

***** and usually the reviews push the consensus slightly in the opposite direction which is what one would expect from diminished or heightened expectations after the first words are in (also demonstrates a regression to the mean phenomena). However there are times where critics pile on in the same direction has the initial reviews. The Force Awakens is an example of a positive heard and BvS is probably the best example of a negative heard mentality in recent years. After the first 50 or so reviews were in its RT score was 44%. That should have lowered expectation and the film should have probably stayed in that range. Instead a herd mentality took over and the film plummeted to around 25%. In studying the tomato meter ive never seen that happen for the film that was already rotten at 50 reviews in.

[@onepiecefan74]

***** I dont think critics are pointless. I do think many of them are full of them self's but i enjoy reading many of there reviews. One doesn't have to think critics are pointless to recognize that they (like any group of people) are subject to group think.

[@Brikkwall]

If a villainess in a satirical hero movie looks ten times more badass and than your portrayal of Wonder Woman, you might be polishing a diamond shaped turd of a movie. Just pulling one out of the pile here..

[@frenchcoupon3391]

The movie is not that bad. If this movie is bad, then the critics should rate 6/10 all the MCU. That would be coherent. Wait...

[@duncans9071]

Mark if I may pull you up about the eating habits of vultures. While what you said about them feeding on things that are dead is true, vultures will generally leave anything that is "foul smelling, putrid or rotten" as it can lead to the birds becoming sick or even dying. So the next time you're flying around the Film Critics savannah and you find a movie carcass so disgusting that all the other vultures have left it alone... Move along, it will do you no good to feast there as it will only lead to stomach cramps, nausea and diarrhoea.

[@tylerdurden5303]

The Crow: "Interesting, yet flawed"... further information required please!

[@ClownScreams]

You see, now I want to watch it.

[@d1e1c0k2]

most entertaining review since Sex In The City 2 XD

[@declanhayes9132]

Watched this pile a few months and I was truly taken back by how awful on every level it was. Makes you think how on Earth these things ever get the green light, and even more, how they get a $140M green light!

[@LordJagd]

Gods of Egypt cost $140 million to make. Batman v Superman cost $250 million. A New Hope, the film that changed hollywood forever, cost only $11 million. Akira Kurosawa's epic masterpiece RAN also cost $11 million. Sure those were made in the 70s/80s so inflation would change those numbers around a bit but it shows that all the special effects in the world cannot make up for a lackluster story and an unrealized vision.

[@landhardyart2104]

moneylaundering.avi

[@MrAppleby56]

This review was almost as brutal as Gods of Egypt's assault on the senses.

[@Yawehplaneswalker616]

I don't think Alex Proyas knows anything about birds. Vultures are scavengers. If they're eating his movie, then it's already dead or very close to it.

[@chrischalk2006]

Fabulous review, haven't seen Mark this irritated in a while!

[@DoctorPompidou]

I thought Mark was about to say he liked it, I got quite worried. Luckily the opposite was true and I was very relieved!

[@BilboB]

Gods of Egypt looks like a film that is so bad, that it is unintentionally hilarious.

[@ironhills]

I know that's what you would think, but it's really a hard slog.

[@willowandglass7599]

From the clips he showed, it looked really good...

[@GoldenGyroBalls]

Hell hath no fury like a Kermode scorned.

[@CrownJules84]

You mean Visual Effects, not Special Effects.

[@TimeIsOfThe3ssence]

Kermode just dropped the mic!

[@tomyelhacker]

The good doctor is back!

[@jser9570]

I see Mark isn't prepared to take the moral high ground...

[@BigHenFor]

There is an alternative view - see the CinemaWins channel for their take on this film. I would say that I wouldn't be expecting perfection from this film, this genre, this cast, or this director. It was a film product designed squarely at an audience seeking a bit of good tasting popcorn entertainment. I will reserve judgement until it comes out on DVD. Hope Kermode takes a punt at Swiss Army Man with Daniel Radcliffe and Paul Dano. It blew the minds of many at the Cannes Film Festival with walkouts, and negative reviews. But Radcliffe's in the UK now promoting it and Imperium. I wonder if it's a classic Marmite film?

[@kidkunjer]

swiss army man was freaking awesome. the people who walked out must have been idiots!

[@lexxandera]

But Alex Proyas has a point: I think critics do follow a general consensus - maybe unconsciously so.

[@ST74UK]

Ouch. I had absolutely zero interest in seeing this from what I heard about it. And now having watched the clips featured here, I now know why.

[@Makkasu0]

Ah, it's been a while...

[@_Ciaran_Maher]

I'm going to see this tonight, oh boy.... I should just say, it's very much against my better judgement. It wasn't my I idea I swear. I wanted to see the nice guys.

[@BigHenFor]

As for Proyas' dig at critics, it can be read as a director knowingly allowing himself to become part of the artistic dead carcass Corporate Hollywood has become, and really, that's on him. Always let your work speak for you, just make sure it's not spouting garbage.

[@zsht]

That vulture flip was class.

[@Woug]

Hell yeah! You tell 'em Kermode!

[@Alpine_Joe]

I guess that'll be Mode off Proyas's Christmas card list then :-)

[@chadalpha7983]

I can't believe Kermode was this nice to this film

[@bunnyfeet123]

So...did you like it?

[@dobbinb76]

Proper Kermodian rant, love it

[@ghostdog2041]

Now, mark. Gods of Egypt's effects were better than an 80s arcade game.

[@Phoennix3]

Warcraft was okay actually: People had a pop at the cartoonish Orcs, but thats kind of the point. With this, I have to say, It was total rubbish from start to end. Although I did keep thinking that if they hadn't whitewashed it, and did some more close camera work, and tweaked the script, this could have been so much better. .. The storyline did ring some bells with Clash Of TheTitans too.

[@D-Cameron]

Yes, it seems awful. To be fair, though, from the clips shown here, the SFX look a lot better than 1980's Space Invaders.

[@josephchapman9187]

He's just being hyperbolic using over exaggerated speech, which enhances the metaphor or simile that portray the special effects as being awful; a bit like Doctor Who.

[@tmcthree]

Can you explain something to me please Joseph? Anything, you pick a subject.

[@MrDaveP75]

I haven't heard such a savage review from a critic for a very long time (Metacritic trolls excepted) but strangely enough I now have a morbid curiosity to see it!

[@davidgaunt5018]

I have never seen so many misspellings of the word herd.

[@trentgein8005]

My goodness that was brilliant

[@jameshammond2846]

Kermode should do a piece for /tv/

[@zarneewoop1]

I just feel bad for all the artists, digital and practical, who worked on this film. I simply don't get how you can spend this much on a film and no one points out that the script sucks. It's almost like the director can't take criticism....

[@parametr]

You know when you download a movie from the Internet for free, watch 10 minutes and feel annoyed because you just wasted 10 minutes of your life and a few gb of unmetered data? Gods of Egypt can really help you experience it.

[@knockitoffhudson]

The only way to watch this movie is in 240p on an ipod nano.

[@ZuluRomeo]

SERVED.

[@ghostwhisper666]

Mark goes in!

[@fraserlamb5787]

this has been a fantastic year of trash, I laughed my way through batman vs Superman. lets hope this is lives up to your hate as I am going to watch it now.

[@HeyTray1]

God I love Mark

[@CyborgCollective]

The podcast is fine and all but I do miss Uncut.

[@youngcarlos123]

Your a true hero

[@stepheningermany]

Is this film just independence day bad? or are we talking John Carter levels of bad?

[@AzaJabar]

7:03 SupeaHotFire.gif

[@stevencampbell2018]

I think he liked it.

[@kidkunjer]

so... 8/10?

[@robinw8603]

The Citizen Kane of Roadkill.

[@SadBirbHours]

Mark stop! It's already dead *Sobs uncontrollably*

[@BillBuchananFtw]

Agree with kermode. still liked it

[@RoScFan]

It was unfortunately campy for its potential. It wasn't road kill. I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it either. But still.... that response... epic.

[@21stCenturyCat]

Sounds like Proyas has gone all Kevin Smith..

[@AppleJack4000]

I really liked this movie.

[@Kitties_are_pretty]

4:05 Okay that's all the same guy right? Am I racist? I don't even know anymore.

[@MrTwon1610]

Get 'em Mark!

[@zingpulse4138]

Dark City is a Classic, GOE...Not so much

[@lottieshiny]

that was glorious

[@matthewdoodle6350]

I was able to sleep through it

[@glyph2011]

I laughed out loud when this trailer came on in the cinema. I even think I may have inadvertently said rather loudly "Really?? Who the hell greenlit this???"

[@rijamor]

......for about five minutes'.Classic Kermode.

[@De-Nigma]

Somewhere between Earth and Heaven. So you're in Purgatory? that explains everything.

[@iandawe948]

lets be honest anything with gerrard butler in is utter rubbish and should be avoided at all costs

[@nosuchthingasshould4175]

I liked it.

[@gun1987gunn]

Kermode was ruthless there huh? Haha.