The Emoji Movie reviewed by Robbie Collin

[@GreenGretel]

"So before we get stuck into the Emoji movie, I want to kind of examine how civilization got to this point."

[@DuelaDent52]

“Wow.”

[@louisbradburn265]

"It makes The Boss Baby look like the work of Studio Ghibli." That's beautiful

[@Makkasu0]

I think Robbie did a brilliant job with this review. A measured and thoughtful essay that really gets right to the heart of all the problems with this film.

[@OnboardG1]

"The cloud will solve all of their problems, but it's never explained how". Inadvertently describes every cloud-tech pitch ever.

[@calvinlaw7790]

There's no hiding from this, Mark.

[@fullofwhiskey4911]

I'm convinced this movie killed Mark, hence why he's not the person reviewing.

[@garyabbot4659]

Mighty Davies I think he had shiffle practice

[@timy9197]

Kermode would've had a field day with this

[@TheTelepathicKid]

1. Just imagine him sighing and saying "The Emoji Movie", and you're half way there. 2. The films he doesn't see on his holiday he usually doesn't catch up on unless he really wants to. I don't think he'll really want to see this.

[@goodial]

"There will be flying cars in the future!" 2017: Alec Baldwin voices a Baby, Anthony Hopkins is in a Transformers movie and Patrick Stewart voices poop ...

[@barbarakirk1451]

And poor Rebecca Front was in that same Transformers movie!

[@goodial]

@scrat mavis shake that seems very kind of you, thank you! :)

[@liamandhyde]

God I hate when people bring up Mark being better than Robbie. I love them both as reviewers. Even though they have different styles I still love watching them both.

[@olliep8117]

Second that, Robbie Collin has a great articulate style. I also used to love it when Nigel Floyd and Boyd Hilton used to fill in for Mark as well, and I wish they'd come back and do more shows as well.

[@GoldenKaos]

"Makes the Boss Baby look like Studio Ghibli" - XD I do wish Mark had reviewed this, but this Robbie Collin guy's pretty damn good too.

[@StefanWB]

Anyone else think that it's oddly fitting that Doc Brown, upon hearing that Patrick Stewart plays the poo emoji, unconsciously re-creates the Captain Picard face palm? Also, I think the way Robbie Collin says poo is very funny.

[@heyitsmark3499]

What a sad state of affairs when studios get parents to PAY to have themselves and their children exposed to Paid advertising for an hour and half. Such a shame and quite frankly it angers me knowing just how much money and distribution goes into something like the emoji movie when other films and independent filmmakers struggle to get the distribution and funding.

[@nifralo2752]

So how's that any different from 80s cartoons like Transformers or My Little Pony which just 25 minute toy adverts for Hasbro?

[@barbarakirk1451]

Not much - I loved Futurama's take on those!

[@Stupidyellowshirt]

I think I speak for everyone when I say I wish Mark Kermode had reviewed this

[@JonnyUnforeseen]

I think Robbie did a great job at articulating why it's so abhorrent, but yeah I agree. Would have been a kermode classic rant for sure.

[@fullofwhiskey4911]

Mark doesn't deserve that cruel punishment.

[@FrancisXLord]

Awww. Robbie Collins did a great job. Granted I did search the words Kermode and Emoji Movie, and I was a little put off that Mark didn't review it, but at least give Collins credit (Kermode absence aside) for a great review.

[@IamSpeedster120]

He might write something in the Guardian Online soon, since he is their film reviewer.

[@rephl3x]

Keith does Mark even know what an emoji is?

[@christophermcbride9559]

Need a GIF of Ben Bailey-Smith's face-palm at 3:50 .

[@Mrl3en]

Is that Doc Brown on the mic as well?

[@TheDrugOfTheNation]

Mrl3en doing his best not-paying-full-attention Simon Mayo impersonation.

[@AimeeRose1997]

Oh great, now we'll never get to know what Mark thinks of this. C'mon BBC, why can't some movies be reviewed by more than one critic?

[@TheSt1092]

There should be a Kermode Uncut on this.

[@michaelstephenson427]

Presumably, he will review it when he does the Top 10 when he's back.

[@louisbradburn265]

I'm upset that Mark didn't review this, but this is still great

[@1porter]

I can confidently say that this review is significantly more entertaining than the movie. I haven't, and won't, see it, but sometimes you just know these things

[@csairbrushartwork]

he reminds me of Phil Kay

[@torenielsen9993]

Mayo's substitutes interrupt less. That's really nice.

[@youssefrachad8201]

Mark where are you

[@hetty100]

Wheres Mark??

[@handev2604]

“It’s just a poo... talking about poo.” 😆😆😆

[@hughtube5154]

Robbie Collin: I cannot imagine cinema this year getting any worse than this. Adam Sandler: Challenge accepted.

[@lewiep]

Did they at least slip in a "Professor Excrement" gag?

[@antiquariancrafts2454]

Patrick Stewart plays a review of the film.

[@Brennan163]

It's not just an Inside Out rip-off, it's also a Wreck-It-Ralph rip-off AND a Lego Movie rip-off.

[@Crispman_777]

And Shrek

[@jonnoweb]

Crispman 777 How Shrek? Just curious.

[@Yorosero]

If it were hand drawn 2D animation then this movie might not have happened because someone would have eventually put their hand up and ask why are we putting so much time and effort into this turd of a movie.

[@lponm]

It would be great if Sony Pictures just cleaned house and hired people that cared about their work product.

[@TheDeliciousMystery]

Really hard not to see any media for this film and think of that one image of steve buscemi in dressed as a high school student going 'how do you do fellow kids?' Sony pictures seems to be creatively dead. Thats something you couldn't even say about Canon at their worst. Drink that in.

[@CyborgCollective]

It's ok guys, I'm sure we will all see mark talk about it at the end of the year, probably.

[@HerHollyness]

Is that Doc Brown in for Mayo? Cool choice - I like him as a comedian/rapper. Apparently he's now a radio presenter too! Good for him.

[@zfbananas]

Doc Brown and Robbie Collin fill in for Mayo and Kermode (respectively) a lot now!

[@liamandhyde]

"Poo-ception"

[@KINGBADASS100]

And then they came out with Spider-Verse one year later. Talk about a turn around.

[@lornaginetteharrison414]

So it's basically "Divergent", but with emojis?

[@bensley56]

Bravo, Robbie. Bravo.

[@PauLtus_B]

I'm getting the feeling Robbie Collin hasn't seen Wreck it Ralph.

[@energystarnot]

ADORED this film, it just about pips 'Boss Baby'!

[@nightw4tchman]

Mark, please review this film!

[@Spamlett]

This film isn't going to make any money but I'm sure Sony don't mind, the only reason they made it is to attempt for the trademark so they get kickback from the silly emoji merchandise you see on the high street

[@fromthehaven94]

#2 at the American box office in the first week. $24 million. At least look up a few things before making that claim.

[@Spamlett]

Christopher C On a $50 million budget. $25 million isn't even half way to breaking even and most studios consider a gross double the budget to be a success. $25 million on opening weekend isnt great, and the across the board terrible reviews this movie is getting are not going to help it. It was truly rushed, and is purely about the merchandising rights, why else would they spend 7 figures on the license yet only give the film (which is an animated one and thus would usually take far longer) only a 2 year development window.

[@fromthehaven94]

Henry Thomas I can't answer the question about the movie's development, but the first weekend numbers indicates an audience that didn't care about the reviews. I wasn't suggesting the movie would do gangbusters, just that it wouldn't be a financial failure. Considering the budget, it's too early to tell.

[@zvimur]

Here's a bit of Paranoia. Were there other studios that actually wanted to make Emoji movie? Or did they bait Sony into this... place your definition. Hmm.

[@nifralo2752]

Kermode says to be successful a movie has to make at least 2.5 times its budget.

[@kemprowland5136]

Why, WHY did Mark not review this???

[@simonsaysrewind]

Bet channel 5 buy this film 💩

[@jackayers4955]

I'm surprised they haven't tried to capitalise on the emoji thing already. Expect to see 'The Nation's Top 50 Emojis' and 'What Emojis Would Princess Diana Have Used?' before the end of the year.

[@barbarakirk1451]

Good Morning Britain should have used the last when Paul Burrell was on!

[@ericisking13]

So what you're saying is you really liked it.

[@nickmattio3397]

Makes Schindler's List look like a Dumpster Fire am I right???....

[@piotrsegal9528]

When there is the review embargo... Well, just watch the trailer. You will get my point

[@daltonbedore8396]

"bidding war?!" "yeah the bidding war to make this movie" *sighs* "oh god"

[@MegaJetso]

tbh kermode would probably love it

[@user-sd4dd4pn4s]

I'll take that bet. £50 on Mark not loving this.

[@Guinessforpresident]

love robbie

[@Aldarux]

I was hoping Mark Kermode would review this. Oh well!

[@chriscorley6478]

THE EMOJI MOVIE loves you. Wow! I totally think this interview should be in the sequel film for sure -- so hilarious! He should review a phone book next. 🐘💨 📺🚬👼

[@cwk9492]

Upon hearing Patrick Stewart's name my reaction was the same as Ben's. :-/

[@my88110]

Is that my bruddah doc?

[@BluRayMan12]

I'm not ashamed to admit I saw this "thing." I LOVE my animation and I wanted to see how bad it truly was (did not pay money for it.) Trust me when I say it's exactly as bad as you've heard but not in a "so bad it's funny" way., It's just filled with wall to wall product placement and HORIFIC puns/writhing in general when it's not ripping off better films. Came out thinking it was the most cynical film that I'd ever seen.

[@jnru3ns4N3]

"poo within poo"

[@stevieh9860]

I’m not a huge Robbie fan, but my sweet Lord How nail on head is he here? “Contemptible beyond measure“ “cynical “ “ beneath ugly “ and lots of other devastating one liners, while his co presenter sighs loudly with head in hands. Bullseye my friend.

[@gingerwhinger]

Robbie sold this for me.

[@microondasdelsur]

I'm relieved this movie sucks. That means no talent was used in the direction or the writing

[@rhaenyrareigns2200]

I can't believe that there were actually studios, as in plural, interested in making this "movie"... Tells you something about the industry I guess...

[@0axel078]

So... he wasn't a fan?

[@GingerMathematician]

why does that presenter just keep saying wow wow what is he a parrot

[@daltonbedore8396]

Sam Gower its called listening and being appaled at what you're hearing, i'd guess

[@mrmystery9965]

I hate how the mic pics up the squelching of his mouth when he speaks.

[@normietwiceremoved]

>Channel is called kermodeandmayo >Robbie Collin reviews 95% of the movies you want to hear Kermode review

[@joeduffyy]

normie twice removed I think kermode is on holiday

[@normietwiceremoved]

I'd wait for his review

[@TheRealWinsletFan]

So, that's a no then

[@garyabbot4659]

It's just cashing in on a dumb online trend. no thanks. I'll stick to my countless superhero movies and spin offs, or maybe another animated animal. Least they're dishonestly bad or repetitive. emojis are dumb and anyone who's anyone agrees.

[@stephennnnnnnnnnnn]

I rate this film 💩/10

[@FrancisXLord]

Young kids are giving this an A- also. Kids are like fish unaware of the water they are swimming through and are easily influenced. This film shouldn't be allowed frankly. You wouldn't allow the advertising of phone apps on kid's TV (at least you wouldn't in the UK) but it's okay to advertise phone apps in a kid's film? If I had kids they wouldn't be allowed to even watch this garbage at a friend's house.

[@LucienWD]

I thought Boss Baby was absolutely delightful. Don't get the dislike for it

[@simonchristian5227]

Not born to review on radio or tv zzzzzzz

[@daltonbedore8396]

Simon Christian hes quite funny and makes good insights