Key's Café - No More Jockeys with Alex Horne, Tim Key + Mark Watson

Someone was crying in Key's café.
ℹ️ Bonus video from Set 4, Game 15: • Set 4, Game 15 [09.08....
No More Jockeys is a game created by Alex Horne, Tim Key and Mark Watson.
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✔ HOW TO PLAY
On each turn, players name a person plus a relevant category - that person and category are then forbidden. If you're caught naming someone who falls under any previous category, you're out of the game.
★ MERCHANDISE
teespring.com/stores/nomorejo...
★ PLAYERS
• Alex Horne's Taskmaster: channel4.com/programmes/taskm...
• Tim Key's latest book He Used Thought as a Wife: utterandpress.co.uk (also on Amazon)
• Mark Watson's latest novel Contacts: uk.bookshop.org/books/contact... (also on Amazon)
♫ MUSIC
The Stardrop Saloon (ConcernedApe)
► VIDEO
Alex Horne + Haiminh Le
#AlexHorne #TimKey #MarkWatson

[@NoMoreJockeys]

Would you like any of our cakes?

[@unclejibjab]

I would. But can you check with your grandchildren if you accept AmEx?

[@Chris-im3ys]

​@@unclejibjab I would. But can you check with your cousin if you accept Crypto?

[@effbeeaitch]

Any of *your* cakes?

[@rw4578]

This comment is 3 weeks old, i don't want 3 week old cakes. Thank you.

[@Jambobist]

No thanks, just here for some weed and a cry.

[@ThathertonFuels]

Unsure why Watson is having so much trouble thinking of what he wants to order.

[@Five-lines-of-something]

I love the occasional interjection from Watto about how wrong his next pick was about to be.

[@muralidharank671]

I'd like a bizzaro day where horne, key and Watson take over the off menu podcast and Ed, James and benito play no more jockeys

[@Manjusang]

Dinky Donk = Bleeeeeeeasdaaaaaale

[@andmicarcfin]

This would be lovely. No More Jockeys and Off Menu are my two most favourite things in life.

[@urgaguer]

surely it'll happen when watto gets on off menu. he'll be on any week now.

[@craig1e12]

No more jockeys special Friday 1st April 2022…

[@barnaclefelching4079]

Benito can't play as I'm fairly sure it has been established that he doesn't have a face

[@pazza1376]

I’d be worried that in Tim’s café you wouldn’t be allowed to order anything that any of the previous customers have ordered.

[@danielcooper8964]

"Hi, can I have a slice of the battenberg please?" "Sorry, someone came in earlier and ordered some Victoria sponge - no more royals"

[@Raggaliamous]

Don't look at our counters. Don't look at our plates!

[@Raggaliamous]

@@danielcooper8964" You could try our lemon drizzle cake?" "I like what you've had to bake. No more weather."

[@danielcooper8964]

@@Raggaliamous ok, what about a Belgian bun - no more non UK europeans

[@pazza1376]

@@danielcooper8964 Red velvet cake - no more fabrics

[@cdname47]

And the next episode of no more jockeys will take place.....after Tim key has raised a full family to adulthood

[@crittertree]

This man is playing Stardew Valley soundtrack. He thought we wouldn't notice, but we did.

[@schwasareeh]

Knew it instantly! Who chooses the music?!

[@geekhomesweethome2299]

Is one of them a Stardew Valley player? I would love to know!

[@schwasareeh]

@@geekhomesweethome2299 is there a producer?

[@geekhomesweethome2299]

@@schwasareeh There's an editor, I believe, who does things like add pineapples to the amusement of us penguins. I don't know if they choose the music.

[@Bill-Door]

Coming this Autumn, its Key's Cafe! Staring Josh Widdicombe as Mark Watson, David Mitchell as Little Alex Horne and Romesh Ranganathan as Tim Key! Only on Dave.

[@mollieherrington8985]

I think all cafes need to start using this 2-3 year plan before serving cakes to people

[@benbradley_123]

I absolutely love the fact that you've used the music from the Stardrop Saloon!

[@peacefulpaul]

I hadn't put together why it was so familiar, thank you!

[@gko18]

Key does kinda resemble Gus

[@geekhomesweethome2299]

@@gko18 Too true!

[@joansmith69]

Hearing Stardew Valley music in NMJ was such a hard turnaround for my brain to take in.

[@leemartindale3149]

This lot are what you'd describe as nuisance penguins.

[@gemma8641]

Not me getting distracted and yelling “That’s Stardew Valley music!”

[@kirsty8026]

So Horne can get his coffee and cakes, I volunteer to be Key's date. I'm sure there will be a long list.😊

[@Williamwerenberg]

You should ask him 😊

[@Anonymouse85]

The beauty is that you can have cakes from the cafe for your weddingday as well. Key, I know you read the comments, give Kirsty here a chance! ;)

[@barefootcontessamessa7245]

Just Key casually in that wig and glasses

[@danielwillits2173]

Does Laura Marling work in the cafe?

[@cilycwmmoths2565]

I've got the day off work. NMJ was going to be my treat so I'll have a cake please but a full episode would be the best treat. It's such a miserable day. By the way - you all rock.

[@Chfez6000]

This was brilliant

[@PaddyRoon7]

The entire buildup made the punchline a work of art, got nowhere near the reaction he deserved

[@mcsjenkins1]

"Ah" is the response that all the best NMJ jokes get

[@themilkmon]

@@mcsjenkins1 "Ah, are we doing prepared work today? I don't mind it, really" - Watto

[@SgtLion]

What do you mean no video today? I'm gettin' the shakes man. I NEED IT.

[@catmannersScaryCatLady]

Incredible content. Thank you. Over.

[@Toastwig]

watto’s silent face scrunching stole the show

[@iangallears3245]

I'd like a Jammy Dodger with my coffee please, but only if it has a heart.

[@praalgraf]

i see key has a very dutch interpretation of a coffeeshop

[@rw4578]

I love you guys so much lol

[@freshpickings]

So, is Haiminh Le a fan of Stardew Valley?😁

[@Peteroranje]

Nuisance penguin reporting for duty.....and standing down disappointedly.

[@kathrynrobinson3607]

I’d be up for all of that Key to be fair 😂

[@Shift8YawnsShift8]

I'd love a Belgian bun with no walking required

[@adambennett5306]

Bellhop upon the line is always open for a left handed old blue Horn. Lovely visiting key

[@neilmeadowcroft7569]

"We don't take cash..." only books for bookshelves

[@m_w_a_t]

Bit. Of. Fun.

[@hellorangus]

Don't mind it at all.

[@seem_okay_studio]

I will not be challenging this.

[@gladtobeangry]

20 quid for a bag of rotten 18 month old cakes? I'd bite Horne's hand off at that offer. Congratulations on getting married though, Key. I always thought it was odd that a prize catch like you hadn't tied the knot yet.

[@adamhenley8295]

Am tempted to give control over to key - at least he can plan ahead

[@UnderwurldChris]

Brilliant use of Stardew Valley music.

[@luckynur6670]

hey if I want to contact you for video creation how do I contact you ? because there is no contact that you leave here thanks before

[@thatsfunnyyourefunny]

Key's Cafe: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oaDdkIhoiZJ5a68

[@letXeqX]

really good, thanks!

[@Conor2400]

I almost skipped this video after realising it wasn't a new round... I'm glad I didn't ...

[@RichieHorton]

If Horne has them all, do you do biscuits with the coffees?

[@1969Kismet]

How long have you got?

[@ThomasGiles]

So they gave Mark approximately 5 years to think of something and he still didn't have one ready to go. ;p

[@xtrapolis954m]

May I have a Key Lime Pie, please?

[@slothrr776]

What was all that bit about cakes about?

[@stevej1154]

They also have cider, but only Strongbow. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[@cassieruddock]

Stardew Valley saloon music!

[@clickastlyindustries3033]

Joe more knockies wedding cake served by Penelope Pitstop wearing job-gloves.

[@eliramh]

Did you guys watch taskmaster minnesota yet? It's not only truly excellent, but if you ignore the crappy audio the tasks and contestants are incredible. Maybe you should do a reaction video? Yeah, please do!

[@melad1583]

One Key Kake pls

[@harishkrishnamoorthi5199]

I...I just came to get a coffee and some cakes

[@MillerMooseMan]

Where's today's suppliment of No More Jockeys? Surely it's not no more no more jockeys?

[@berolizimmi]

I can't understand why Key isn't married yet.

[@pooroldnostradamus]

The wedlock would just keep becoming loose

[@bearhustler]

Can you only run a cafe if you're married and have a daughter ?

[@ym10up]

No, you can run a cafe unmarried but if you want to sell cakes, need wife's approval; if you want to accept cards, need daughter's approval

[@leona6455]

Just give Horne his cakes for pitys sake

[@amelialikesfrogs5778]

is that stardew valley music?

[@amelialikesfrogs5778]

just checked description IT IS