kidnapped to eat mushrooms 🤦🏽‍♀️ r/EntitledParents

I will never understand the audacity of entitled parents 😂
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[@gilesluver]

The first one: not about the groceries. It's about the mom telling OP what to do, and correcting her about small stuff. It is very annoying.

[@Sarah.H5]

Totally came here to say this! It's got nothing to do with helping or not helping the cashier out and you can tell by the fact that the reaction seems to be quite big and not really relational to the situation. Probably OP needs to look at what's really going on here and have an honest conversation with their mum about why they're upset.

[@606Jelly]

💯

[@ikatmax]

Agree 100% 😊

[@PaniPunia]

Exactly, sounds like an ongoing issue. "No, you're cutting the onions incorrectly, start again", "You don't want coffee, I'll make you some tea", mom gives OP a look and refolds the towels, because OP did it "wrong" - this is what I read between the lines, and if that's the case it's exhausting, frustraiting, and every time it happens it feels like a personal attack.

[@kristalpower292]

You get to a point as an older teen and even into your adulthood where parents particular mothers cannot accept that we are not children anymore. They seem to be hurt and offended we grew up, are capable of making our own decisions and have decided to do things differently than they taught us.

[@lrfcowper]

The first and only time I made my 5-year-old kid eat something he didn't want to eat (It was a "try just one bite" kinda rule, not an "eat everything in your plate" rule), he put a single green bean in his mouth, gagged, and violently threw up all over *everything*. He was later diagnosed as autistic with pretty significant sensory processing issues. He's 26 and still has a fear of trying new foods because he's afraid he'll throw up. Yes, that's right -- one incident 20+ years still affects his eating behavior to this day. Folks, *do not do this to your -- or anyone else's -- kids!*

[@durabelle]

I'm 40 and still remember some food situations from my childhood and later too. Once my grandma tried to force me to eat moldy meatballs claiming they were totally fine, since she had already eaten hers and couldn't see the tiny specs of mold I was trying to show her in one of them. It took a loong time, a half chewed (by me) and spit out piece, and some tears before she gave up, although she clearly still didn't believe me. After that I didn't touch meatballs for a long time, and completely lost trust on anyone else telling me something is okay. Another time I was already an adult and my flatmates were trying to persuade me to join them for a meal. They'd made some tomato and feta soup, and I tried to decline very politely, but they couldn't let it go and were pushing for a reason why I didn't want to eat with them. Eventually I had to tell them that in my nose the soup smelled like vomit, and I could see it hurt them, but it just did. I had and still have lots of issues with food, and at that time I had my own everything and didn't share any food items, and always took my food to my room to eat if anyone was home, so I don't know why they even thought it would be a good idea to push it after the initial offer. So I agree, never try to force a child (or an adult) to eat anything they don't want to eat. Offer by any means, but any kind of forcing only makes it worse.

[@lynnsibley1172]

Yep - I make my kids try things a few times (a small bite is fine!) just to be sure they like it or don't, but that's because I know they don't have these issues. And if they're having a bad day and really don't want to try something new, that's fine! We can try again another time. Once they're sure they don't like it, I never serve it again for them. If a kid had sensory issues, then I would never, ever force them.

[@Gwenx]

Damn, I'm also autistic, i was a "picky eater" but have since grown out of it because all i needed was respect and trying things in my own time - but not all are like me, i think most people i meet with autism is like your son, and that's okay hehe :) I think i will still ask my child to try, but if they have a bad reaction, i will not do that again, and i will NEVER force them, as was done a whole lot to me. Food is such a sore topic for me, i developed an eating disorder quite early on, because everyone around me was so obsessed with my food intake and my weight i thought i better give them something to actually worry about.. That became a coping mechanism, and its still looming over me today, though i am battling it hard now! My partner is the first person besides my dad, to understand what my ED is about and how to help me, give me space, let me eat without comments on how much or little i eat, introduce new things when I'm in a good mood, and always respect a no.

[@sirilundgren]

Yeah!! My parents never forced me to try anything ever and I grew up eating only sandwiches and mash and sausage BUT now that I'm 20 and buying my own food im trying (and loving) new foods little baby me would've gagged at. All kids are different but I soooo appreciate having had the freedom to say no as a kid

[@zoeb203]

can relate to this as someone who is autistic and has emetophobia 😭😭

[@soundlessbee]

I understand Shaaba's point about earned entitlement and if someone wants to use a service that is offered or needs extra help, that is completely fine. But the first OP's mother didn't refuse to unload the basket herself, but told OP not to do it and even asked her to put the items back into the basket. I think that just seems rude and entitled, like it's somehow beneath her daughter to help.

[@marcusdunham8896]

"the customer is always right *in matters of taste*"

[@nicoler1183]

"Timothy and Chalemet" took me out lmao. Also, as a working class American whose mom can't cook, Hamburger Helper is the reason I didn’t starve as a child. You buy the hamburger separately, but that was cheap in the 90s. So glad you learned about the wonders of Hamburger Helper today. 😂

[@moonlighthowling666]

I feel this

[@AliceSylph]

My entitled parent story: I have an assistance dog and was shopping for my niece's baby clothes. A woman with 3 young children pointed at me and said "look, there's a doggy! Why don't you go play with the dog so I can get your clothes". I immediately just started to leave to avoid this interaction but couldn't get out before kids got to me. I told my dog to get behind me and had to block her while trying to explain to the children they weren't allowed to touch her. One kid started crying and tried to hit me out of frustration. I told them to "go away" and tried to walk out. Woman hears this and starts shouting at me. Shop assistant comes over and woman tells them my dog bit her kid and that's why hes crying. That is a very serious thing, if my dog bites something that's it, end of her career, end of my independence, lawsuit, as well as horrible reputation as I'm a dog trainer. Luckily, I have a go pro I have filming my assistance dog whenever she's working because of these interactions. Security comes over and I explain things and play back the whole interaction showing my dog behind my legs and the child hitting me. Woman starts saying how I illegally filmed her children. I was able to leave and walked away while woman was still screaming at the security

[@artheenbyrogue804]

Holy crap! That's awful I'm glad you had the video though, hopefully that mom learned her lesson. She sounds like a piece of work, and hopefully her children turn out better than her.

[@Shoot4AlarmFire]

Thank f*ck you were filming! As if she wasn't acting entitled enough, to say your dog bit her kid...oh, dear heavens, that makes me feel violent. If only we treated humans the way we treat other mammals with teeth. Only humans are way more dangerous!

[@cloudyskye13]

genuine question: how was the mother planning to prove your dog bit her kid? there was no bite mark? did she think would just take her word for it??

[@AliceSylph]

@cloudyskye13 I have no idea, I think it was just her trying to be right. If an assistance dog hurts a child, even if not true, it could ruin our reputation anyway. We live on a very small island so word travels fast

[@dianajones4639]

And definitely don’t force feed someone ELSE’s kids! Props to the stepsister for going and getting dad to save op in that context!

[@EliaAliceRaven]

"You should give something a go before you pass judgment" : I see what you mean by that, buuuuuut as an (undiagnosed due to good-luck-doing-that-in-my-country-as-an-adult, but highly likely) autistic person with EXTREME touch and taste sensitivities, I feel the need to point out that sometimes, no, I just KNOW it won't fly, I really don't need to make myself literally vomit for the sake of "at least try it" (and yeah, that's been a thing since I was two years old, I've learned to live with it). Type of nut that I don't know ? Fair, give it to me, I'll try it, and if I don't like the taste it'll be unpleasant but it'll stop at that (because I can predict the texture, and it's a Good texture). Any type of mushy thing, or pudding-like thing, or overall most types of not-crunchy things, though ? NO, I WILL NOT "JUST TRY IT". BEST CASE SCENARIO, I'LL "JUST" GAG, WORST CASE SCENARIO, I'M EMPTYING MY STOMACH ON YOUR FLOOR WITHIN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS. AND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT. I learned that quickly enough as a child, and forcing myself never led to anything good. Sooooo, you know. Careful with that mindset. It'll be good with 99.9% of kids, probably, but there are cases where it's just noooooot a good idea 😅😂😭

[@georgiasoaps]

I'm still traumatized by chili for dinner nights at summer camp, it was a week long summer camp and there was a specific night that they always served chili for dinner. I love corn bread but they literally wouldn't let me eat cornbread, salad or anything at all unless I "just tried" the chili (even though I told them I knew I didn't like it) and would watch me to make sure I was actually eating it (and since it was a sleep away camp my only other option was to go to sleep hungry after a day of hiking). It was so traumatizing because I was basically having a panic attack the whole time, but I also have social anxiety so I was trying not to show any symptoms of the panic attack. I still experience a lot of anxiety with trying new foods (I'm a very picky eater to this day) and that experience really exacerbated that. To add to the trauma, the chili would attract yellowjackets (the only insect I have a severe fear of), so I was forced to deal with the sensory and taste nightmare of the chili, AND the paralyzing fear of seeing wasps crawling on my plate and buzzing around my face. It was not a fun time lol

[@EdibleStars369]

Pregnant lady being told she's too short for her age at 5"4?! I'm 5"2 and 35 years old, I've been 5"2 since I was 15 and not changed, what does height have to do with how old she is?! My grandma was 4"8 all her adult life

[@piarateking8094]

i am so confused when people do this especially when girls typically go through growth spurts around 10-14 and are usually fully grown by 16

[@ilanarhian]

Yes! I am 5`3" and 54, and my mother was only 5`. She lived to be 80. I mean she looked young for her age her whole life, but someone thinking she was a kid due to her height would have been very odd. Do they think Danny Devito is a child?

[@jessiec668]

5'4" is literally the average height of US women above the age of 20. It's honestly a little silly that so many people seem to think that being near that height is "short" for females. It's perfectly normal!

[@middlenerd178]

I’ve been about 5’4” since high school, and I was frequently assumed to be an adult in high school!

[@M_M_ODonnell]

People working as baggers in supermarkets is pretty much the norm where I've been in the West Coast and Northeast of the US, but unloading your own basket unless it's a small hand-held one (with no wheels) is also the norm.

[@kellibrenneke2253]

I'm a cashier in the Midwest and we have baggers. My son is actually a bagger in the same store I work in. Also, we have belts that customers unload their groceries onto.

[@TehTeh911]

There are a couple stores, like cosco, where the cashier takes the whole basket, but 90% of the time unloading the cart is on the customer, and bagging is a mix depending on the store and area you're in.

[@princesskatarina351]

I live in Michigan. Only recently has Meijer begun hiring baggers at my local store. But I've never been to a place where the cashier was expected to unload the cart/basket. Just seems weird to me. 🤨

[@PaniPunia]

I'm from Poland, we don't have baggers (unless kids/charity scenario, like Shaaba said), and In general you unpack and then bag your own shopping. However, In some stores (for example In Rossman, which is something like Sally Beauty) there is a special place for you to put your basket, and the casheer takes the items out, because it's more convinient, it was designed that way. It works well, but only because people usually buy only a couple of items.

[@bridgetcooney5085]

Unless you're at Trader Joe's, which has no conveyor belt.

[@Desimere]

i feel very sensitive about people being pushed to eat something they don't want to eat because i have sensitivities/sensory issues, and i feel like it's impossible to tell whether someone has these issues or just doesn't like something. It should never be assumed.

[@606Jelly]

I agree it's much worse if there's sensory issues and forcing them could have a long term impact on a kid where that's the case. But even if there's none and they simply dislike the taste of something, it's horrible to force them to eat it. It's so controlling, right? "Welcome to my house. Now force down these mushrooms you hate the taste of before you're allowed to leave."

[@lizzy4825]

Totally agree, but I would also add, it shouldn't matter whether someone has some kind of specific sensory issue or whether they just don't like something, no one should ever be forced to eat something they don't want to. It's such a violation of personal boundaries, like the individual should get the final say on what's literally going into their body, for whatever reason.

[@Desimere]

@@lizzy4825 good point

[@annarichter484]

Reminder for Shaaba: You wanted to get lip gloss 🤣🤣🤣

[@ikatmax]

I need to know if Shaaba got the lipgloss I have to know 😂 hahahaha

[@kaltespopcorn4087]

Kids should absolutely not be forced to eat something they don’t want to eat. Especially not by unrelated people!

[@alex_blue5802]

I think OP handled it perfectly. They didn't throw a fit or demand a new meal, they just ate around the mushrooms. It sounds like the grandma might have some great-depression related food trauma.

[@jadziajan]

@@alex_blue5802 So many people are just like that. It doesn't have to come from trauma. So many adults are comfortable harassing a kid until they eat something they clearly don't want to eat. People just don't respect children.

[@alex_blue5802]

@@jadziajan fair, I don't know her situation and I shouldn't make excuses.

[@annarichter484]

If never had the pregnancy issue but I've been told many times that I don't look disabled. Luckily bus drivers recognise the disability sunflower here in Scotland and help me if someone gets really rude.

[@liska_dae]

I just found out that the full quote is "The customer is always right in matters of taste," and that makes so much more sense. The abbreviated version is license to abuse the workers. Hamburger helper contains everything except the hamburger. There's also a version for tuna.

[@lauraelliott6909]

Forcing kids to eat what's on their plate just teaches them to ignore their satiety cues and overeat. It's a great way to promote obesity and/or eating disorders. I think it's fine to save it for the kid to finish later (unless they really didn't like it) and to have them eat it before dessert is allowed (pudding for you Brits).

[@sassylittleprophet]

I don't think the first one has anything to do with bagging or not bagging groceries or whatever. This sounds like a mom who is nitpicking her kid for every little thing and OP is sick of it. You can tell that their reaction has been building up for years. I also think their mom is probably gaslighting OP about their behavior because they felt the need to ask essentially, "am I being too sensitive?" And I have heard that my entire life from my own gaslighting mom (and family) who I fled. OP to me is *so clearly* not the problem.

[@zekova]

I suspect the same, but it could also just appear that way from the little info we've gotten 😵

[@alex_blue5802]

I have a controlling parent, and I've also had anger management therapy. It seems like the mom is the instigator, but OP is also not handling it well. Being stressed out and knowing that you are going to snap over the smallest thing is not a good feeling. You also feel guilty afterwards for losing your temper, and I think that's why OP is wondering if they are the problem. If it's a possibility I think they could benefit from talking to a professional or learning some coping strategies. Remaining calm in these situations can make it easier to respond appropriately and set boundaries. If OP has to spend time with their mother it will help if they can communicate their feelings instead of snapping.

[@cole.j02]

8:28 Actually, the original saying goes, "the costumer is always right in matters of taste alone." Which basically means, the costumer isn't wrong for wanting to buy the things they want to buy, but that doesn't mean they can demand you to do whatever they want you to do.

[@TransAroPan]

What if That Last Kid Had Been Highly Allergic to Mushrooms That Grandma Could've Killed Them

[@arklestudios]

I've seen people on Tumblr refer to women under 5' 4" as "coded minor," but i thought it was only the Puriteens doing that. Like, for real, I've seen these people call a guy a pedo because his wife was under 5' 4" even though she was actually almost ten years OLDER than him.

[@kiraeaton5414]

wtf

[@jessiec668]

5'4" is literally average height of US women above the age of 20. Someone being a few inches under that really shouldn't be that odd. Plus, people can look very young or very old regardless of their height. My husband is only 5'3", but I can guarantee no one in their right mind would mistake him for a child!

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

Omg.. if I have kids coming over as guests in my home.. I cater the menu to their tastes. My son's best friend doesn't like mint or onions, so I make sure those aren't part of the meal I'm making and if they were to pick around something.. my primary concern would be "did you get enough to eat" not "how dare you not finish off your whole plate" This whole great depression era thinking of you shouldn't waste one scrap of food is harmful in so many ways

[@sleepyhollowo]

23:15 i 100% agree that kids should not be forced to eat things if they don’t want to. my parents wouldn’t let me leave the table until i finished my food, and if i said i was hungry later they would just make me go to bed hungry. i was undiagnosed autistic with a lot of sensory issues around food, and less than stellar interoception (i didn’t often process cues in my body like hunger properly). as a result it’s something i still struggle with as an adult. eating something is ALWAYS better than eating nothing. and also don’t take other people’s kids hostage just because they didn’t eat PART of a meal you made😭

[@princesskatarina351]

My grandma too often placed a slice of tomato on my plate, knowing I hate tomatoes. At the end of the meal, I would have to remain at the table until I ate it. But I never did. After an hour she'd send me to my room, and she'd eat the bedeviled thing. I low-key believe she just wanted an excuse to have a second slice of tomato, because clearly I was never going to eat them. 😝

[@rinlozio1108]

Omg I swear, not giving up your sit to literarly everyone around you when you're a teen/young adult is like a trigger to some people. I love telling this story, how I one day woke up on a bus to some women screaming at me "stop pretending you're asleep". I had a very bad sleeping problems, but I would often travel to work with my coworker, who was nice enouth to always give up their sit to me if there wasn't enough for both of us (especially since I also have problems with balance, so I would often fall, when the bus was moveing), and watch over me as we were getting to work (so they can wake me up at my stop, and also make sure noone can steal my stuff. I would usually buy hem lunch, or do something they didn't like doing at work for that), cuz that was quite a long bus ride, and afterwords they told me that this women got on one of the stops right after I fall asleep, and was loudly talking to her friend about how young people these days don't respect their elders (she was like 40 maybe 50 years old btw, but ok) and just kept escalating the conversation being meaner and meaner until she straight up starter screaming at me acusing me of pretending to sleep, and that's when I woke up. I swear some people have some weird biff with young people sitting in a bus. And they never actually ask, they're just being passive-aggresive about it (sometimes not even passive)

[@codasylphanthi2187]

Do unload your own groceries. Don't stack your plates at a restaurant, I say this as someone who worked as a waitress. Your waitstaff has a system. They're not going to be mad at you for doing it, but I always found it mildly annoying because guests always somehow mange to get way more food gunk on the bottom of used plates or glasses when trying to help.

[@Telarii]

The more I read and hear about what's a standard for USian grocery shopping, the more I just go wtf. Not even on entitled cases like the 1st one, just in general. Leaving carts wherever on the parking lot, cashiers not being able to SIT??? during work, or that people aren't even unpacking/packing their on stuff, entitlement is like built into the whole experience by default. Awful.

[@mai_komagata]

i think the issue is there are a LOT of different grocery stores spread over urban, suburban and rural environments and you hear one thing that happens in one grocery store and assume all of them have all the bizarre practices at once. like one grocery store might have this one bizarre thing (like they pay people to collect carts instead of having convenient drop of locations to maximize parking spots, or they pay people to pack things to speed up the lines) but not every grocery store is exactly the same.

[@mai_komagata]

that said i have no excuse for the no sitting rule -- but people have been working to change worker protections on that.

[@arcticgalaxies9160]

YALL CAN SIT????

[@danitini14]

@@mai_komagata I find that regardless of whether there are convenient cart drops throughout the parking lot or not (most grocery chains I've seen in various regions of the US have them), there's always people who don't bother for one reason or another: trying to corral small kids, mobility issues, running behind schedule, bad weather, whatever. My point being that stores include cart round-up as part of employee duties because people will leave them all over the lot and so the carts are conveniently located inside the entrance away from the weather, not because they don't have convenient cart drops. But it's true there are different store chains that vary, like Costco cashiers taking carts on their side to scan without unloading because of the size/weight of bulk items, or Winco that specifically doesn't hire extraneous staff like baggers in order to keep their prices lower. And the other common variable: self-checkout machines.

[@tra12048]

Honestly, where I live (central California), I've never heard of people not unloading their own carts, that part is wild to me too. Though it does seem to be part of the cashier's job to bag the groceries, since they tend to do that unprompted here (if you don't go through self check-out, obviously, or if the item is too heavy for them). You're right about the rest though, cuz people are either too lazy to put the carts away or have other things going on, and unfortunately sitting down, from what I hear, is seen as "lazy" or "slacking off," so the cashiers aren't even given chairs. (Edit: fixed a spelling mistake)

[@thetheatricallinguist]

Re: your comment about helping the waiting staff, I tend to avoid doing it because I know how important it is for them to balance things properly and I'm scared I'll end up making them break something 😂 I once knocked a drink out of a waitress' hand and it spilled all over my friend...so yeah, I just stay very still now lol.

[@bitchenboutique6953]

I’ve had friends who waited tables tell me “I know you think you’re helping but just having your stuff neatly in front of you where they aren’t hunting for cutlery is fine.” For the same reason you gave, that they have their way of stacking things so that they can carry more!

[@kaltespopcorn4087]

Yes! Wanted to comment that to, but went to look in the comments if someone else already has. My waiter friends always remind me of this.

[@melber9408]

Yes!!! Please don‘t Stack the Plates. Most waitstaff habe their own System and the costumer „helping“ actually slows us down and sometimes Even leads to more work

[@FTWhatever]

the balancing out all the things is it! when i was working as a waitress in a rather nice restaurant i had to stack the heavy plates in the exact right way or something -like a knife at least - would surely fall down on my way to the kitchen (and embarass me in front of all the people). so i'm never "helping" the staff in the restaurant, as they normally dont like carrying a wild stack of plates, cutlery and leftovers like you do at home. they usually have their preferred system and you are indeed interfering with their job, as they could feel obliged to thank you, even though it is probably not very helpful to them... 🤷‍♀️

[@gilesluver]

Second one: Having had to use public transportation to get to doctors appointments while pregnant, I feel this in my soul.

[@isismeow111]

Lol hamburger helper does not come with the meat, u buy it fresh in the meat section. 😂

[@izziemoss8262]

Yeah I agree, but I was also a waitress and actually it’s a lot harder to pick up when people are passing / stacking plates… if anything you’re inconveniencing them more but I understand where you’re coming from! Best way to help is just pass them over rather than stack or remove cutlery etc

[@durabelle]

I used to often stack things for waiters, but then got told similar things by someone working in a restaurant, and haven't tried to "help" since. I have similar experiences from when I used to clean in a big office building. Some customers would hold the doors open for me to get through with the cleaning trolley, but by doing so they often actually stood partially in the way and only made it harder. I managed perfectly well on my own, but of course I'd have to smile and thank them when they thought they were being helpful. It can be tricky at times to get these things right!

[@lrfcowper]

The thing with the groceries one is that the OP had already unloaded (some of) the groceries. What's the point in making her put them *back* -- do more work -- so the cashier has more work? It's fine to not join her in unloading the cart, or even ask her to stop unloading the cart, but it's wasting everyone's time to insist she put everything back

[@nsthor086]

I'm a bit sad that the last post didn't end with "I'm still stuck in this grandmother's house, please come help me" 😂😂

[@NicoleDelvilleBurke]

Story 1: In Canada we definitely unload our baskets and carts onto the belt for the cashier to ring in by ourselves. Maybe if an elderly person handed over a small basket the cashier would do it but generally you never make them do that. I also enjoyed you saying the cashier "sits" behind the cash/till because, in North America at least, cashiers are not allowed to sit and even leaning at their register between customers is often seen as "lazy" and gets you reprimanded.

[@devinlupei5071]

That last story hit home for me. I legit had an aversion to rice because I was forced to eat large bowls of rice with beef as a kid. Luckily I love rice now.

[@RikouCam]

Hamburger Helper is great for a quicker, easier meal. You have to buy the meat seperate to add to it. I also usually cut up fresh veggies to mix in as well. Works pretty well.

[@spectilia]

Okay, I think OP in the 1st story is at a smaller grocery store that doesn't HAVE conveyor belts. I have also seen it with some 10 items or less lanes in larger stores where, rather than an belt, it is just a stationary counter top. You empty your basket like normal onto the counter and the cashier just pulls the stuff to them, since it is a smaller space. In these set ups, I have seen both situations of people emptying the baskets themselves onto to counter, or placing the hand basket onto the counter and having the cashier pull the items out directly. Both are more or less acceptable. However! The 2nd thing OP pointed out was that it WASN'T a hand basket, but a larger ROLLING basket, which should absolutely NOT be set on the counter, due to their awkward size and the fact that you are now putting all the crud from the floor onto the counter. Very gross, do not approve.

[@cspratt]

As someone who worked as a table busser, please don't stack the plates. Let us do it, if we ask for help that's different. Sometimes it depends on the person. But for me, at a pizza place, the balance was off when people stacked plates on the tray, and I would end up sticking my hands in sauces or other gross things. I think the basket they were talking about is the shopping cart, it would be ridiculous for the cashier to unload the cart, basket yes, not cart.

[@user-fr6zt6jx6y]

When I worked as a waitress, if people stacked the plates, it was usually because they had put gum between them as a prank. Big tell that I was about to waste a bunch of time trying to remove the gum and probably wasn't getting a tip either.

[@cspratt]

@@user-fr6zt6jx6y Also when they would put napkins in the half full glasses of soda. The napkins can't go down the drain, and you can't pour the soda in the can, because then you get a huge mess. It has been almost 20 years, and I still have nightmares about it!

[@osheridan]

Is it alright to hand uou plates individually or should you just let the wait staff do it fully? This might be a dumb question, I don't go to restaurants often so idk what to do 😅

[@cspratt]

@@osheridanI'd say let them gather the plates, you could offer, especially if it's a booth where they can't get to all sides easily. It does help if you make sure that the utensils are securely on the plate, so they don't fall off. Sometimes servers do ask to have plates handed to them. That's more of a personal preference. When I go out, if they have to stretch to get the plate I hand it to the server, most of the time, I move out of the way to make it easier to get the plate. It's only a dumb question if you don't ask and pretend you know the answer! 😁

[@bethsmith3421]

My child and I had a similar situation happen as the last story, except it was over a rule at their friends house for dinner. My child had a friend, and they had a rule about no cell phones at the dinner table. I agreed to a point. Once I had to get ahold of my child, it was really important, but she was not allowed to answer her phone. I drove all the way to their home, time was off the essence, and they almost didn't answer the door because of basically no interruptions during dinner. I was furious. I told them that I would only call if it was truly important and that meant my child needed to answer the phone. She could step away from the table or whatever but she needed to answer her phone. I would text if it was just information and she could look at it after dinner. They informed me it was their house and she would not be allowed to answer her phone for any reason. I tried to reason with them about an emergency, but they would not compromise at all. I should plan my phone calls, like emergencies are planned!?! My child was no longer allowed to eat dinner at their house. I felt that for that hour to hour and a half, my child was imprisoned. My child was a bit upset, but ultimately, their friendship ended over the super rigidity of the family. She wasn't upset for very long.

[@kimmcsharry4256]

The lipstick story reminded me of the time I was at a hotel eating breakfast at the buffet, and a little kid was going around sucking on the top of all of the salt shakers! His parents saw this happening and didn't even care. I'm terrified to use salt shakers in public places now.

[@nebulan]

Lol what! 🫙👅

[@mousestripedgrass2123]

😮😮 new fear unlocked

[@A_T216]

A lot of places keep packets of salt and pepper on hand for takeout orders. Whether you decide to ask staff for those instead of using the shakers, or if you build a little collection of salt packets to keep in your wallet or something, the packets are almost guaranteed to not have been in a child's mouth haha. Yikes at the parents ignoring that gross behaviour. Hope you're able to enjoy your public dining experiences still!

[@alex_blue5802]

Okay I know this is bad but it's also a little funny.

[@taylorwalker7417]

Baggers are common in the US. They're typically cashiers who aren't currently running a register, but there are a lot of higher volume stores that specifically hire baggers to keep things running smoothly. In my experience, only "specialty" grocery stores like Aldi (or poorly staffed ones) require you to bag your own items. Either way, an entitled attitude is an entitled attitude, and that mom could use a reality check, lol.

[@pompe221]

I've been to a grocery store where they have some lanes dedicated to "you bag" and some to "we bag." But in every store I've been to, it's been the expectation that you unload your own basket/cart/trolley onto the conveyor belt.

[@danitini14]

There's a chain in my region called Winco that keeps their prices lower partly by not hiring extraneous staff like baggers. Each checkout stand has 2 conveyor belts next to each other after scanning, so that they can start scanning the next person's items while the first customer is bagging theirs by just putting the items on the other conveyor belt. While it's the only store I know of in my area that explicitly has customers always bag their items, baggers aren't common here - or at least, a separate person bagging after the cashier scans is uncommon. 90% of the time, the cashiers are bagging as they scan and all a customer has to do is put the bags in the cart (if they have that many items).

[@Just_Reading_Comments]

That’s heavily dependent on what area of the US you live in. People seem to forget how big the US is and how different every State, and even areas within a State, are. Where I live and travel no stores have dedicated baggers. If another cashier/employee isn’t busy they may come over and help bag but they don’t pay people specifically to bag your items.

[@BAdtnl]

As someone with sensory issues, I do have some foods I don’t eat mainly because of texture, so I can understand other people who have it, but it’s never been a thing with mushrooms or tomatoes with me which is what I usually hear people not liking. (for me it’s shrimp, aubergine, and most seafoods)

[@eleanorwillow9671]

#1- US user here. The only store where the workers don't want you to empty your cart is Trader Joe's. They don't have a belt or counter. Some cashiers are ok with you putting the hand-basket on the belt, or not lifting heavy items from a cart--they'll have a scanner gun or can type in a code. I can't evaluate much without knowing the store. #2- Pregnancy brain is real!! #3- OMG!! #4- with HamburgerHelper you cook up a pound of ground beef, which you buy separately, then add water and the contents of the box. You can add veggies if you want. If you know how to make sauce and boil noodles, HH is pointless, but it is cheap & easy for the inexperienced cook.

[@feliciapease3912]

Amemican here, it called Hamburgar Helper and you buy the meat separately, It is the helper to you hamburger :)

[@georgiasoaps]

American here also, and I didn't know that!

[@feliciapease3912]

@georgiasoaps I remember growing up with the commercials. My family never really baught it.

[@Mike-di1og]

My favorite dish has mushrooms in it but but I hate the texture of mushrooms as well (it’s like eating a spongy beetle) so they’re cooked separately and then put into the blender with the sauce

[@hexonyou]

I also have the compulsive urge to stack and clear up the table when I'm out to eat to make it easier for the wait staff. It's definitely a mix of ADHD urge to clear my space for anxiety sake and the other half is "well it's just nice to people who are already doing a difficult job". Like, I'm gonna aim to be your easiest nicest table so long as you don't like... I dunno, come at me swearing or something, you know?

[@hexonyou]

and I'm sure someone else has mentioned it but- pregnancy brain is definitely a thing lol. In fact it's so much a thing that they warn you about it during your prenatal visits. and 5'4" is literally average female height for most places in the world. -I'M- short at 4'11".

[@skyball130]

Ex-server and fellow ADHD-er here, it's actually a lot harder when people stack the plates! It often throws off the balance, and sometimes I might need to stack them in a certain order to help the people in the back. Also, if there is something sticky or has a weird texture, my ADHD brain can't handle that, so i like to be able to organize things in a way that lets me hold in places without touching those things. If you want to help, push your plates together at the end of the table! I understand the awkwardness, and I appreciate the intent, but it actually helps so much more if people let the staff deal with it! As shaaba always says, every day's a school day :)

[@rossmail5924]

1. I feel this very deeply. My response to my father's constant commentary on what I do "wrong" seems like an actual trauma response (small t). A lifetime of this a micro abuse of my autonomy sure does stack up and affect me in what can first seem very irrational.

[@kuromushi3464]

I wonder if Aldi runs smoother in the UK. I don't think Americans get it. I worked at one in the u.s for a couple years. Soooo many people yelled at me for not bagging their things. People don't unload their bags and boxes on the belt. NO ONE uses the dividers. People will leave the line to grab something with all their shit on the belt and take forever to get back. People use their keys or special coins where the quarter is suppose to go. It breaks the cart and ruins our switch carts system at check out. So much more. Very frustrating. They make it seem like they have never shopped in their life ever.

[@ratkid4560]

It does work pretty well here. Sometimes, you'll also see people letting others ahead of them in line if they only have one or two items + got in line at a similar time (like their shopping hasn't been unloaded yet). There's self checkout too which is very handy for me as I have a developmental disability, so can pack my bags at my own pace vs the staff member scanning them very quickly bc they're supposed to be fast

[@faithpearlgenied-a5517]

It actually works very efficiently. Everyone just wants to get in, get their stuff, get out.

[@CleoStrawberryMoon]

My stance on forcing children what to eat is: you got the privileg to choose what you cook and more importantly to not cook what you don't like. they (normaly) don't have much say in this and therefore shouldn't be forced just because you like it. You also wouldn't force a grown up to eat something because you think it's tasty.

[@Eco_Hiko]

You can get around textures of mushrooms but putting them in a food diver and mincing them. You can then fry them like meat. My partner has a problem with them on a autism level. This is how I incorporate them into our diet because they're one of my favourite foods and they honestly like the taste of mushrooms especially shitake and chestnut mushrooms.

[@8Spikey]

I was told by a waiter friend, that although appreciated, they didn't like when customers "helped" since they had a certain system of picking up used dishes and when diners piled up plates or cutlery it messed it up.

[@HighAsHeckPriestess]

Cashier's in the US do not unload your groceries. OP's mom is just on a power trip.

[@leobeboop4944]

For buses in england (cant speak for Scotland I've never been) some of them have single seats rather than the two seats on one side of the aisle towards the front of the bus (usually in single decker buses i think) which may be what op was referring ti when talking about sitting on a single seat

[@TiBunCosplay]

I grew up having to try everything at least 3 times before I was allowed to say I don't like it. This was to prevent the whole "making our minds up before we try it and then go with it on the first bite" thing that sometimes could happen. having to have three bites really made us slow down and actually taste what we're trying. This worked both ways XD One time while out at a restoraunt I wanted to try my dad's salad and he had blue cheese dressing on it and he was sure I wouldn't like it but i said I would. Well first bite I insisted that yes it's good! second and third bites? yeah no that was not good. dad was right on that one

[@tylerrslays]

Hey👋 I work at a checkout at a supermarket in Australia, and the system is that the customer unloads the groceries on the conveyor belt, then I beep the things and put it in their bag. Sometimes if people just have a few things in a basket i just take them out myself, but thats uncommon

[@GarnetHeartIllustrations]

My problem with the first one is that, while the mom can choose not to help, telling OP that they aren’t supposed to help even though they want to is rude and encourages a lack of courtesy towards service workers. I hate when ppl leave a mess/make things more difficult for service workers bc “that’s their job” when in actuality, taking groceries out of a customer’s cart or throwing away discarded food left by customers is not the job, so basic courtesy should still be exercised imo.

[@carr0760]

For the record, most servers hate when customers stack the plates. It actually makes it harder to collect everything because you can't carry it the way you want to.

[@blu_heron]

I’m so thankful for my dad who would often be happy to eat whatever I couldn’t finish on my plate as a kid. He was like an endless food-loving pit. I still sometimes had to sit at the dinner table late into the evening if I didn’t want my veggies though.

[@Nino-xp5df]

My father in law is the same way and I find it so problematic. He will eat whatever is left on my kid's (i.e. his grandkid's) plates - and I really don't like it. He as huge issues with food, a common saying of his is "I'm not an animal. I can eat even if I'm not hungry." He's basicslly setting an example to intentionally overeat.

[@rage_of_aquarius]

Boomers ideals come from a time when people were payed living wages to what can be considered "menial" jobs. It's perfectly fine to let someone do their job, but when you know that they're likely overworked and underpaid, it's much better to just do the easy stuff for yourself. Also, from what I've heard, pre-bussing is amazing if you actually know what you're doing, but if you're building the leaning tower of plates, wait staff would prefer to just do it themselves. I ALWAYS pre-bus because I was raised by former restauranteurs and it's just expected in my family.

[@nebulan]

Most grocery stores in the US, you unload, yes. So this store is the outlier. (Stores where there are lots of big items like home improvement stores are also an exception. Lowe's has tiny counters because it's expected for the cashier to bring a portable scanner around.) OP should consider therapy. Their mood has the right to stay stable despite disagreeing with their mom. Yes Aldi's here in the US sounds similar

[@alex_blue5802]

Yes exactly, we can't stop other people from disrespecting us but we can work on remaining calm.

[@twinning1944]

Story two is mind blowing. The audacity!! EM was beyond rude.

[@celticphoenix2579]

Shaaba hamburger helper is dry pasta and seasoning meant to be added to minced meat or TVP to make a meal in a single pot.

[@mr.honeycomb]

Hamburger Helper theoretically is to be added to the hamburger that you are already cooking to provide a filling meal.

[@durabelle]

I think part of the confusion is that beef is never called hamburger in that context in the UK. I've only seen American and Canadian people do that. We just call it minced meat, or beef mince. It can then be shaped into a hamburger patty, and put between two pieces of burger bun to make a hamburger. So the hamburger helper not having any hamburgers in sight doesn't make sense until we remember the different meaning.

[@aurorafraire2528]

I completely understand wanting to help out waitstaff by stacking plates for them to make it easier for them to clean up, but I've heard that some don't want you to do that because they have to deal with food on the bottom of the plates, which is why they take them one or two at a time without stacking. Obviously if you see your server stacking dishes at another table the kind thing to do would be to stack the dishes for them, but if I've seen them taking dishes one or two at a time, I would just hand them over.

[@nebulan]

Aw the guards tried to handle the kids appropriately. Deep voiced scolding seems appropriate

[@nathanmoranx2105]

A few pieces of green and purple would make that background dazzle. Purple, green and yellow are the colours of magic, Octarine (sounds like a med) according to Terry Pratchett, and pink light is invisible to the human eye but in the rainbow, and 4 colours are traditionally thought of as making a full painting. 😊

[@elliel.5915]

when it comes to wait staff picking up plates, i almost never try to help them out, but it's because they always get the job done so quickly and efficiently that i feel like i'm hindering them more than helping them if i try to get involved lol

[@marieugorek5917]

Ummmm... there are some US grocery chains which have people to put groceries in the bag once they have been checked out. I have no idea where OP is from, but I have never been in Any store where they unload the basket or cart. And why can't you make their jobs easier if it does? Yeah... entitlement. You're not telling her SHE has to take her groceries out of the cart/basket.

[@angiejohnson3656]

I was encouraged by my parents to try everything once, especially when it came to food. This led to me having an extensive love of differing foods. I have raised my daughter with the same philosophy.

[@DragonFae16]

'The customer is always right' is actually only the first part of the quote. The full quote is 'The customer is always right when it comes to personal taste. For everything else, they are just as likely to be wrong as everyone else.'

[@jinglebat]

The one with the grocery store: it was probably Trader Joe's. They don't have the big conveyor belts you are thinking about, it's just a small table and the staff is REQUIRED to take your basket or cart (if its a cart they put it on their side of the table) and unload it themselves. OP doesn't give any other examples of their mom's behavior so it's hard to tell if they are oversensitive or if the mother is rude in the way she says things (even if she's right; it's not what you say, it's how you say it.)

[@thedragonssparkvideos]

The customer is always right when it comes to what product or service they want....not in literally everything else.

[@alexshehadi9823]

for the first one, you told op to stay in their lane, but the post is about their entitled mother ordering them to put their own groceries back in the cart? which makes it harder for the employee and harder for the customer so i think in this situation, the mother is the one not minding her own business, and you might have misread the situation. and this is just my opinion, but i dont think we should ever consider emotions wrong or useless. op isnt getting angry or "triggered" about groceries, theyre angry about the general entitlement, bossiness, and selfishness of their mother in these situations. anyway, love your content haha and btw in the US its common courtesy to unload the items for the cashier. makes it much easier for the employee at very little expense of the customer so why not do a little thing to make somebodys horrible customer service job easier? :)

[@naftherainbownerd]

I think what OP meant from the first story is that she wanted to unload their groceries onto the surface to help the cashier out so that they don't have to reach into the basket to do so. I'm only speaking from experience because it's something i do as well. I'm from a South Asian country and here, the surface at checkout is usually not very long (like the conveyor belts seen in US grocery stores) but it is big enough for you to unload all the things you're carrying in the basket (since the basket is usually quite small and can only hold so much). In my experience, from where the cashier's standing, it is a more comfortable angle for their hands if you unload the products on the surface for them so that they can take and beep the products instead of them having to reach into the basket every time. But it is definitely not the norm here in my country to unload your own baskets (which is absolutely stupid imo).

[@gkeller1031]

The first one, with the whole attitude of "they're being paid to do it, don't do it for them" is so real but it's also so funny to me because earlier today I was talking to one of my coworkers who used to work at Michaels (a craft store in the US) about how I, as a customer, will sometimes just organize the yarn when I go in if I see that something was put back in the wrong place or a particular type of yarn isn't separated by color the way it's supposed to be because I genuinely enjoy that type of organizational task, and it doesn't take anything out of my day to do it because I'm gonna spend like 30 minutes just in the yarn section anyway lol. OP's mom would hate me I guess 😅

[@princesskatarina351]

Shaaba, you provide the meat (Hamburger, Chicken, Tuna, etc.) for Hamburger Helper. The seasoning and pasta (or rice) are all that is in the box, sometimes an added topping, depending on the meal (corn chips, for "Crunchy Taco").

[@SheepasaurusRex]

at least when i worked in a grocery store, i found it incredibly rude when a customer didn't unload their things onto the table/conveyor belt. if there was nothing fragile in the basket, i'd just flip it upside down and dump everything out lmao

[@shelleykoone2987]

That last story was crazy! When I babysit if a child says they don't like something my first question is have you every tried it. If they say yes, then I accept that. If they say no, then I encourage but don't force them to try it. If they try it and don't like it, they don't have to eat it. Either way, I will give them more of the food they do like as long as their is more to give and they are eating healthy foods. I babysat one kid who would say he didn't like something, but he would eat it when he thought I wasn't looking. He just liked to be contrary.

[@rachelwhitbeck2421]

My mom had a rule: My sister and I had to eat two bites of something before we could declare we don't like it. After that, we didn't have to eat it. If we didn't like what she'd made for dinner, we didn't have to eat it, but we were on our own for finding food (meaning pouring a bowl of cereal or whatever) - she wouldn't cook a separate meal for us. I think these were pretty reasonable rules. I'm still a picky eater, but I've been able to expand my tastes on my own time and when I want to.

[@persephonekore7738]

I have a similar rule, I have a wee stash of nuggies/fish fingers etc for the occasions I make stuff I suspect the youngest ain’t gonna eat cause they’re his ‘safe’ foods that I know no matter what he’s gonna eat 😂

[@salty_pearl]

The last story is giving flashbacks to a traumatic childhood experience I had with our neighbors. When I was little (maybe age 8-12?) I wasn't comfortable swimming in the deep end of a pool. I could tread and do strokes if it was shallow enough, but something about the deep end scared me and made me feel anxious. Our neighbors had a pool, and sometimes I would swim in it with their daughter (who was a bit older than me). One day while we were swimming, the girl's dad decided he was going to force me to swim across the pool - all the way into the deep end, with the daughter sitting at the far end of the pool to provide some kind of incentive for me. He stood on the side of the pool for what felt like over an hour, coaxing then eventually shouting at me, and made me cry. Eventually the sun started going down and the water started getting colder. The dad got so fed up that he gave me an ultimatum - if I didn't swim to the end of the pool, I could never come back to their house again. At some point my mom intercepted this (I think she was at home and totally unaware). I remember they "graciously" let me warm back up in their hot tub before I went home. I never went back there again.

[@mikna5758]

About helping the waiters at tables. I was told by one and confirmed by others that it is better not to "help them" by piling plates. Lifting a pile of plates with 1 hand is impossible and it might be too heavy for them even with 2, depending on their strength. You shouldn't pass plates with cutlery in because they need to carefully place cutlery so that it doesn't fall off on the way to the kitchen. Also, every waiter/waitress has their own technique. The best you can do for them is move out of the way when they are grabbing the plates or pass them if they are too far. You can let them know you're happy to help and follow their instructions. Like "shall I pass you any plates?". Hope it helps 😊

[@Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears]

It is better to have food choices available and praise for trying things but not push to try things. You can encourage by enjoying food yourself.

[@justadumbchrysanthemum]

I live in the (midwestern) US and in my experience, cashiers unloading and bagging your groceries is not common. I’ve only experienced that at fancy grocery stores or if a charity or local school activity is raising money

[@brookeworley5140]

Oh Shaaba 😂 The idea of Hamburger Helper, is that they supply the pasta and seasoning, and you supply the hamburger 😅 current packaging will also give other meat recommendations besides hamburger, like ground turkey

[@OxyMauron]

Story 1: Some stores will have a small handheld basket for shoppers who don't have a large trip. These can be set on the conveyor belt and unloaded just as easily from the cashier's side as the customer's side. I'm not sure the etiquette on unloading these, but these aren't what was being discussed in the story. Now some stores have carts with a smaller carrying capacity. They're as tall as a regular cart. Putting those on the conveyor belt would be bad for multiple reasons (balance, height, etc etc etc). I'm pretty sure that's what OP discussed. That's definitely an unload or your an a-hole.

[@thecraziestcrayon]

As someone with a really weak stomach, who will throw up if I eat just a little too much, I'm glad my parents didn't enforce a clean plate rule. I was also a picky eater as a child and refused to try anything

[@theshortone1959]

hamburger helper is just a box of noodles. You are expected to provide the hamburger yourself.

[@Eldin_00]

Where I live (western USA), the standard at grocery stores is: trolley = customer unloads. carried basket = customer puts basket on belt/counter, cashier removes items from basket. bagging groceries = cashier or a bagger employed by the store. I feel like neither OP nor their mother's preferred way of handling the groceries is wrong. But the mother asking OP to put the groceries back into the basket so the cashier can unload them... that's an over the top a-hole move.

[@katrinadaly1755]

All the supermarkets here in Australia including Aldi, are timed on your scanning rate. If you fall below certain numbers/scanning times there are certain things/benefits you lose and you have to sign a sheet to basically acknowledge that you need to do better lol. I’m not sure if the scanning rates are different between Aldi (where you don’t bag customers groceries) vs our other supermarkets (where you do need to bag items for customers) but I imagine they would be since there’s less packing involved.

[@ShortForMitchel]

When I was a kid, I had to eat three bites of anything new. It didn't always work for things I like to eat now, but it did open me up to keep trying things past the point where I didn't like them the first time. I think it's important to make sure kids try new foods as they're growing up, but if you aren't their parent, then it isn't your job to expand their palette. I remember once when I was fed tuna casserole at a friend's house (I was maybe 10ish @ the time and I'm nearly 30 now, and I STILL hate cooked fish) and I was told it was rude not to eat what I was served, so I sat at the table for HOURS.

[@eline6731]

I used to be such a picky eater when I was younger. My parents would make me sit at the dinner table even long after everyone else was finished to try to teach me to finish my plate. They would even make me sit on the stairs in the hallway if I didn't eat. It didn't work. I just did not like the food and would sit for as long as necessary until they gave up. It was not some power play from my part to get my way or anything, because if we had food that I did like, I would eat it and this includes healty foods like vegetables. Don't force your kids to eat things they have tried and don't like. It creates a weird dynamic and relationship with food and eating.

[@modernghost0]

I wouldn't say it's normal to have worker specifically bagging your groceries in America, but the cashier checking you out usually does bag them. You probably see if more often here than in the UK. Almost every store I've been into has the cashier also bagging your items and you don't even have access to the bags or items to help. It's an anti-theft thing.

[@tarynbarker2107]

Hamburger helper: You cook ground hamburger then add the noodles and sauce mix from the box. There are various flavors. My favorite is Stroganoff.

[@tish246]

Shaaba, Hamburger helper is dried pasta and a seasoning packet, and you are supposed to cook separately bought ground meat, add some milk, water, and the seasoning, and add the pasta, cook for about 20 min, and have a ready meal. My mom used to add canned tomatoes to it as well! There's several flavors, the classic is cheeseburger, but there's also stuff like stroganoff or taco flavored. They are seen as a bit of a poor person meal because they're fairly cheep and prepackaged

[@a.a.mcbride5415]

That woman on the bus was horrible! The poor OP. And the kid sounded really sweet. And like... pregnant people tend to have priority for bus seats? In Ireland anyway!

[@xerofelix7090]

Hamburger Helper is meant to be an instant-dinner type thing. The slogan is something like, "Just add hamburger for an instant meal!" You're meant to add your own hamburger, water, milk, and sometimes butter.

[@emmafischell622]

I have sensory issues around food, and I'm so thankful that I was never put in a situation like that. The closest is when I was at my ex's parents' house and the mother basically had a tantrum over the fact that i didnt eat the food she had cooked--i was called rude, even though I had made sure to nibble at things even if I hated them just to NOT look rude and not draw attention to myself for not eating. In their case it came from a food scarcity mindset, and I get it, but it's so not ok and I've been traumatized around being served food by this happening with my ex's parents on several occasions

[@michaelbell1155]

The stranger on the bus is so annoying because they just refuse to listen to anything that op was saying. Some people need to be slapped once or have consequences

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

As an American, hamburger helper is an add on to ground beef. So you buy the helper and the ground beef, make them, and then mix them together.

[@Louisyed]

I would get my kids to try a food several times not just once. Evidence shows that we have to introduce a new food to a child about 15 times before they will accept it. And I know from experience that this worked with me. I was really fussy as a kid and would have different meals than my family. I improved as an adult, but then I had a partner who expected me to eat anything they cooked to show their kids a good example. Some of the things I hated at first try are now my favourite foods and I've greatly expanded my willingness to try new foods - this means I enjoy them more and it doesn’t restrict my life.

[@angiep2229]

You add beef to hamburger helper. I used to love it when I was a kid. There's this old school concept in which you have to "clean your plate." Eat everything on it. Even if you don't like it. Especially as a guest at someone else's house, the expectation is that you eat what they offer you, and you don't complain. Manners have evolved a great deal since I was a kid (I'm Gen X), and I'm so glad! It's okay to not like mushrooms, or have allergies or any other dietary restrictions. I insist my kids try things before turning them down. I also have the attitude that I'm not a restaurant. If my kids don't want to eat what I made, they're welcome to make themselves a peanut butter sandwich or whatever else they'd rather eat (within reason). It's so weird now thinking about what the norms used to be.

[@bethwoodward9437]

As a lifelong picky eater with textual issues, I’d still be sitting in that Grandma’s house! Because I was forced to eat foods I didn’t like-and yes, I also learned to swallow things without chewing-I’ve gone the opposite way with my kid. We try to encourage him to try things, but if he doesn’t want to, we don’t force him. I feel like the power struggles were a big part of the problem for me, so I don’t want to perpetuate that. My kid is three, and he’s a pretty decent eater. He’s picky about certain things, like veggies, but I’ve noticed him lately trying them more frequently.