Kids don’t always make you happier. Here’s why people have them anyway. | Paul Bloom

This interview is an episode from The Well, our new publication about ideas that inspire a life well-lived, created with the John Templeton Foundation.
Subscribe to The Well on KZbin ► bit.ly/thewell-youtube
Up Next ► Why you should want to suffer - just a little bit • Why you should want to...
We have a biological impulse to produce and nurture children.
But the negatives of having children are obvious: cost, anxiety, sleepless nights. Research even shows that children don't make our lives happier, overall. So, why do we continue to have them?
The answer may be about something far deeper than happiness: meaning. Parents tend to report having more meaningful lives than non-parents. Indeed, very few parents regret having children.
Read the video transcript ► bigthink.com/the-well/should-...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About Paul Bloom:
Paul Bloom is the Brooks and Suzanne Ragen Professor of Psychology at Yale University. An internationally recognized expert on the psychology of child development, social reasoning, and morality, he has won numerous awards for his research, writing, and teaching. Bloom’s previous books include Just Babies: The Origins of Good and Evil and How Pleasure Works: The New Science of Why We Like What We Like, and he has written for Science, Nature, The New York Times, and The New Yorker.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read more of our stories on happiness:
Epicurus and the atheist’s guide to happiness
►bigthink.com/thinking/epicure...
How to measure happiness: hedonia vs. eudaimonia
►bigthink.com/thinking/how-to-...
Happiness and why “happily ever after” is a myth
► bigthink.com/neuropsych/happi...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About Big Think | Smarter Faster™
► Big Think
The leading source of expert-driven, educational content. With thousands of videos, featuring experts ranging from Bill Clinton to Bill Nye, Big Think helps you get smarter, faster by exploring the big ideas and core skills that define knowledge in the 21st century.
► Big Think+
Make your business smarter, faster: bigthink.com/plus/
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Want more Big Think?
► Daily editorial features: bigthink.com/popular/
► Get the best of Big Think right to your inbox: bigthink.com/st/newsletter
► Facebook: bigth.ink/facebook
► Instagram: bigth.ink/Instagram
► Twitter: bigth.ink/twitter

[@bigthink]

Do you have kids or hope to?

[@ElijahPerrin80]

A world of economic slavery, oppression hate and lies, we have our food cultivated and prepared so we are removed from the horrors of existence and killing of innocent lives for our sustenance. We lie to our children to protect them from reality and paint a beautiful picture of the future normalizing dishonesty and promoting delusion while alienating the one thing we say we love by teaching them even parents cannot be trusted. We pretend drugs are dangerous and addictive until one day our children realize everyone is high or drunk and the only way we will ever learn is to experience along with being sexually repressed and rejected to the point where children think sex is wrong and the opposite causing rebellion and dishonesty. We cant even be honest to each other and we think we can have children that will be better than us?

[@MeatMachine69]

I don't have kids someday I feel like I want to adopt and I do think there are many people who have kids that should not

[@mariandeguzman4882]

No I don't, and I do not desire to have one.

[@MeatMachine69]

@@mariandeguzman4882 what about to adopt?

[@Reticulosis]

No, I don’t want kids. The only time I’ve wanted kids were twice when I was in a meaningful relationship. Other that that, if I can deal with it logically, no I don’t want kids.

[@ChristopherRoss.]

The _weirdest_ response I consistently get when I tell people that my wife and I decided not to have kids, is "that's so selfish". I really do not understand this perspective. I can't even put into words how much it baffles me and doesn't make sense.

[@somethingyousaid5059]

It seems to demonstrate a gross cognitive distortion doesn't it. It's usually the case that a selfish desire or motive explains having kids rather than not having them.

[@ChickpeatheTortie]

Your wife was lucky to find you - I never did manage to find a man who did not want to have children so I spent my life as a 'spinster cat lady' and got criticised for that too - apparently I've got far far too many cats - now 67 and I have never regretted my decision for one nano second - I did the right thing.

[@wren5291]

I was having the "kids or no kids" conversation with someone. They very succinctly stated that the very people who shouldn't be having kids are, and those that should be having kids aren't. I too, am still unable to fathom how someone can deem the decision to not procreate as selfish.

[@wren5291]

@@ChickpeatheTortie You can ever have too many cats. I'm 35 and on cats 13, 14 and 15😸. We previously had 12 and the most at one point was 10 - two had passed away. I love kids - got the patience of as many saints as you like for them - and I've always wanted kids, but my logical, organised left brain has always told me to hold off for some reason. I'm sticking with my choice too.

[@ChickpeatheTortie]

@@wren5291 You're just like I've always been cat crazy - my first memory is of being in love with a cat and my last memory will be the same - always had 6 or 7 cats on my bed. Stick with your choice the world is not going in a good direction anyway there are lots of cats that need you 🙂

[@LonelyCinderella123]

If you say it out loud that you regret having your kids a lot of people will see you as a terrible person. So yeah I'm skeptical when it comes to asking parents.

[@agentnine3973]

Theres a subreddit dedicated to this

[@zeegorman1865]

I'd never say I regret having kids not because I'm afraid of being judged. I just am not despite the challenges.

[@prittyugly86]

I low key do regret it because your pretty much brining someone into the world to suffer. I love my baby but life is hard and no one asked to be here.

[@darth3261]

I think they are right to lie about it, imagine if their kids find out, that's some traumatizing shit. No one deserves to hear that.

[@evanthesquirrel]

People who regret having kids admit to being terrible people. Part of being a good person is giving of yourself to ensure the future of us all.

[@videt7459]

As a therapist, I can attest that a sizable amount of the suffering in the world is caused by people having children for the wrong reasons. Among my personal horror-favorites have been hearing "I'm going to have a baby so that I'll never have to be alone again" and of course the classic "Having children will solve the problems in the marriage" 🙄

[@cj9970]

What is the fallout of having a baby to never be alone again?

[@91toinfinity]

​@cj9970 your sanity in the gutter

[@missionlightsgrp9187]

Sorry, but would it help a human being who didn't want to be born if his parents had him for the right reasons?

[@user-ei3bu6fz8r]

@@missionlightsgrp9187 as that type of person myself I think that the answer could be yes. Maybe if I felt wanted and needed as a child I wouldn't feel as a burden for this planet as an adult. It's just a theory though. You never know what if...

[@jzhng250]

@@cj9970 it means the child was born out of a utilitarian reason for the parent. Most human beings grow up to work more hours than they have to enjoy life (40 years) in a job that most likely they won't enjoy (more than half, close to two thirds of the world population hates their job).

[@yeyejen777]

As a woman, I can't escape the feeling that I have so much more to lose by having children.

[@fuhgetabatit1051]

Yes, this!!!!

[@thedisintegrador]

like... what? physical beauty? You'll get old and saggy anyway time? you get plenty of time when you're older even if you had six children in your 20s and 30s. In fact, if you won't have kids, what's probably waiting for you at the end of your life is not travelling and enjoying yourself, but very long days of free time you wish you didn't have. self improvement? you can do that while you have children. My mom, a mother of four, is a shining example. She finished her second university degree while caring for my sister and being pregnant with my other sister. It's possible. And if you wouldn't find the time for self-improvement, then you wouldn't find it even if you didn't have children. money? well, yes, you'll have money and comfort. congratulations. But if you value money and comfort more than any kind of a higher purpose in life, I truly pity you

[@jilliantaylor]

@@thedisintegrador Wow, you truly think that your words matter in any way. I hope you know that people who don't have kids have heard it all before. And yet, years later, jerks like you are stewing in anger when they infact don't regret it. Not having kids, decided that I wouldn't at the age of 16, so suck it up and deal with it.

[@Dr.Weed8]

She won’t be able to go out clubbing anymore. Kids cost a lot of money and that means she can’t spend that money traveling and taking Instagram pictures because clearly she’s a model because she has 10000 likes on tinder.

[@IRosamelia]

@@thedisintegrador you make it seem as if raising kids while not having enough money was barely an inconvenience. Actually, it's deeply irresponsible to have kids if one doesn't have money, time or vocation.

[@Gabster1990]

Anyone who is fertile enough can have kids but I find it sad that there are irresponsible parents out there and then we are left to deal with the baggage of people who had abusive/neglectful parents.

[@sidneyboo9704]

Yup. Those are like cancer to society.

[@transphotography]

It takes a village. We are not equally skilled. That’s why we naturally form communities to support one another. Kind words can go a long way in handling emotional baggage.

[@laurasopalca8433]

@@transphotography agreed but is not really our job to raise them properly , they should be enough self aware to know if they are doing a good or a bad thing , I’ ve been self aware since I was a kid so that is not an excuse

[@CordeliaWagner]

I don't want to be a part of a childraising village. I want fun and carreer.

[@edblarney9456]

It's sad for sure but then they have the self awareness to be better.

[@silviamaia6880]

The problem of asking people about their experience of having children is that most people will give you a positive spin on it even if it’s not true for fear of being judged or their kids ever find out how they really feel. I think a lot of the changes on humans should happen before children and not after - you really need to know yourself and your demons before raising another human.

[@tmengucor]

💯

[@nerios.v]

You misunderstand why is that, its not for the reasons you explain, the reason is because meaning in life is not relative to happines.

[@kishaunmurray5749]

I believe a human must change and show positive signs before having a child as well... it is very important that they do... Children amplifies emotions in people (which we call change) but its not really change, its an amplification of what was already inherent.

[@Jose04537]

That's why I like Jennette McCurdy and her honesty in her book "Im glad my mother died". Nobody say what they truly think or feel because society is very judgmental. We are told to be honest, but get chastised if we actually do it. We world rewards liers.

[@HackersSun]

And the lower income bracket says screw that and has 20 kids anyway xD

[@ig8542]

It took me 10 years to understand whether I want to have children or not (I am a woman in a loving relationship with a man for over 15 yrs). It was so confusing. Then I realised I was asking the wrong question. What helped me decide was this question: Are you ready to be a mother? In a deep sense of this word. I decided not to have children and am so happy about that. I believe people should be good judges of their emotional, financial and spiritual capacity to support another human being BEFORE having children. Too many assholes or children themselves are having children. We live in a mess and it is about time we started looking at it as a total responsibility. Just because we can procreate is not enough. We need to aim deeper. Every child deserves a loving and peaceful environment to grow in creativity and intelligence. The reality is far from that.

[@aina2165]

Great comment!

[@aim-for-greatn3z947]

That's the problem, I have over 5+ years I don't date in America. And when I was fully active every single female I came across wanted kids and even amazing relationships would end because SHE wanted kids. I assume nowadays America is practically MUCH worse than 5 years ago, I wonder if modern women nowadays on average want kids 🤔 I personally still don't because I grew up poor, and I rather spend my current success and wealth with a woman who DON'T want kids.

[@ig8542]

@@aim-for-greatn3z947 Terrorising men into having children is another huge topic. This obsession is passed on from mothers (my mother was demanding children from me from the minute I was born) to daughters. Children=happiness formula.

[@PettyBlue1]

I don’t have children either, but I think there is no such thing as being ready to be a mother, before you become one. Human reproductive life is short. We are evolved to have children in our 20s and 30s

[@pavlinahrebackova3000]

@@ig8542 it works both ways. In my circle there is unfortunately many examples when she does not want kids and he just did it without asking… and not everyone could handle go to abortion, it is very stressful and using kids to keep woman at home, without job, without money and keep power over her. This is unfortunately too much often.

[@DrEnglander1999]

Who looks at humanity and thinks "wow, humanity is awesome! the world definitely needs more people in it" ?

[@EzraB123]

Lots of people, you're just a miserable pessimist.

[@tangerinesarebetterthanora7060]

People that enjoy life.

[@DrEnglander1999]

People who don't care whether other people enjoy life or not, you mean. @@tangerinesarebetterthanora7060

[@manuuyt5919]

​@@tangerinesarebetterthanora7060 People who enjoy life are people who close their eyes to how their lifestyles sit on a foundation of other people's suffering. The clothes we buy come from the labour of other people who are underpaid, the food we get comes from underpaid workers. Enjoying life is a privilege afforded to the lucky few

[@e52n]

@@tangerinesarebetterthanora7060 life is a negative sum game. the most empathetic thing you can do to your children is not have them.

[@alexanderavanth]

While in my 20s many of my friends got children. I struggled with relationships and felt I was missing out and falling behind. Today I am in my 30s and feel life has opened up in a new way for me. My friends who had children in their 20s I no longer envy as half of them are divorcing while others are struggling with both children, their spouse and themselves. My fiance and I do want children, but it is not a condition to what we believe is a happy life. Meaning for us comes in so many forms, and I am lucky to have role-model friends who are parents who I can learn from.

[@N0noy1989]

Same with you on that one. At 20, I talked with my (now ex) gf about marrying and starting a family. She didn't want to because she want to build her career. Ten years later, I'm very, very, very, very thankful I didn't start a family back then. The world is just starting to open up for me.

[@christianmolina8372]

My 20s seem to be going the way yours did. Most of my friends right now have children and are planning on having more soon, meanwhile I'm single and working towards getting my degree. I'm 26 btw.

[@MrCassett]

@@christianmolina8372 Wow, same!

[@s21l1]

@@N0noy1989 20 is too damn early for men to start a family, I think the early 30's are the best or maybe over 28 + (for men). Of course we can have children also at 40-45 or even later but for example I want to be capable of doing sports and stuff with my kid.

[@malancy]

I'm happy you're living your best life.

[@infinitybeyond9617]

I would rather regret for not having kids than regret for having them

[@tonyclemens4213]

In my early 60's, been together with my wife for almost 40. When we look back at our child-free life it's with relief.

[@bikebudha01]

Here is a hearty 'non-breeder high five'!!!

[@fuzzyapplebong328]

I love you for saying that, Thank you

[@erickheredia8910]

This is interesting. You don't regret not having children and continuing your bloodline. I'd assume you have your last years figured. To each their own I guess...

[@fuzzyapplebong328]

@@erickheredia8910 You can’t have children and expect them to be a replacement for a retirement plan. My Grandma had 9 children, And still died alone in her San Diego house. She was dependent on caretakers and in home nurses that were provided by her insurance not her children. You never know what kind of people your children would be as adults even if you work as hard as you can to mold them a certain way. Also with the whole bloodline thing I will never understand that. Life is only getting harder and less enjoyable for people, Like If I were to have children they would live to see the day that Florida goes underwater, Arizona will become inhabitable to heat , And witness beautiful animals around the world dying from no water and plastic from us. Likewise with the world problems, Like our history in war and the heartbreaking problems around the world. The US isn’t getting better either it’s getting worse we’ve lost major cities to drugs like Seattle and Oregon. It’s worth adding more people to this to spread your genes?? I just don’t get it. The world is over populated I don’t need to suffer through having children to be happy.

[@r.1.336]

@@bikebudha01breeder ? Fucking gross

[@jzhng250]

For all those who say "fear of missing out" -- millions of kids grow up to take drugs, work in jobs they hate, die early or suffer from diseases and accidents. HOW ABOUT NOT MISSING OUT ON THESE?

[@sarahsmith7548]

The best part of having kids is watching them grow into their own people and developing a loving relationship with them over time. I’ve adored my son since he was born but with every year that passes, my relationship with him deepens and becomes more meaningful as he becomes a more independent and autonomous individual capable of expressing his thoughts and opinions. Forgoing children is not like forgoing a luxury item or travel. It is like forgoing a lifelong familial relationship such as the relationships you have with your parents, aunts/uncles, siblings, cousins, nieces/nephews etc. I wish people understood that. Relationships are hard work and they can give you connection and meaning in life but they can also end badly. Parenting requires you to invest a large portion of yourself into people that you don’t know yet, it’s honestly kind of a gamble. If that’s a risk you’re willing to take, great! If you’d rather find meaning and fulfillment in your own way, also great! We all have our own unique viewpoints and circumstances, so what’s right for one person isn’t always right for someone else. Choose your own adventure, my dudes, and don’t judge others ✌️

[@sfc5774]

This is very well stated. I was in my 30s when we decided to have a child. Guess what…..didn’t happen. We turned to adoption. Raising our son has brought a lot of joy and, sometimes, heartache. It’s the way of life. I have no regrets. He’s now an adult and one of my best friends. He reflects the values he was taught and I’m proud everyday of him. I watch him interact with others and his kindness is beautiful. Parenting is a very personal decision and not for everyone. I respect others’ choices. There’s no ONE right choice.

[@NadiaSeesIt]

Thank you for this lovely take

[@annabukh3503]

If there were more parents like you, our society would be so much better. Thanks for sharing your thoughts

[@AliceP.]

I think that's my favourite ever thing I've read in this subject matter. It's poignant to me because I lost my mother when I was 14. I frequently think of that "ever-evolving relationship" aspect of what a family is, and it saddens me deeply that I never got to talk to my mother as two women in front of each other. I wanted to know all the things that she couldn't say because I was too young. We get pulled into thinking of having children as literally a child in your house. But family is just something so much deeper. Somehow that thought process still made me a convicted childfree person. These big things in life - and life itself... It's all of it too beautiful but then also too daunting.

[@ladyeowyn42]

@@AliceP. I’m sorry you lost your mom at such a young age ❤ I was 29 when my mom died, and it’s what tipped me over the edge into wanting to be a mother. I wasn’t done being a part of a mothering relationship, I wanted more of that in my life, and felt capable of being someone’s mom. When that hypothetical someone turned out to by my own beloved son, it felt really right. I do informal alloparenting with a number of other families, and I’m close enough to take their kids to the potty. I get a lot of love from a lot of littles but with my son, we know each other are our forevers. I was the first voice and face he heard and saw, I hope his voice and face are the last things I hear and see. Maybe because I came into this through grief, I’m just aware of the bookends of life built into the parent/child bond. I think that’s really special.

[@Pradeep_889]

For me, I don't want to lose my freedom, take financial risks and also having to constantly worry about my kids. Sure in the long-term it could turn out well, but you will have to make lot of sacrifices. I don't think I want those changes in my life.

[@sajalmojumdar7362]

Me too

[@ubelove4410]

me too

[@loxandchain]

same

[@YeeSun]

Same, I already sacrificed a lot for my parents. I don’t want to sacrifice again for my kids and have the constant worry.

[@GeraniaArce]

And that’s okay!

[@dahlia4323]

But something this video fails to touch on is considering what it’ll mean for the person you bring into the world. I feel like many parents don’t actually think of what it means to bring someone into the world - and it could be someone drastically different to you, someone who suffers a lot, someone who doesn’t even want to live…it’s a huge responsibility and isn’t just a matter of “oh yeah so cute let’s have kids and start a family”. I truly feel like most people who have kids don’t know or consider what it truly means and then you get kids with all sorts of issues. And honestly if I ever wanted kids it’d make more sense to me to help a kid who’s already struggling rather than bring my own child into the world just because I selfishly want a copy of myself (that may not even be a copy in any way)

[@Bellaa4578]

THIS! You’re having AN ADULT. Not just a cute little baby. This is such an important comment because it’s true.

[@rvi518]

Yup this video is not complete! There's so much more to talk about... I personally just think that why would i want to bring kid in such world? why would i want to torture him/her without their choice for rest of their lives?! I would rather sponsor some sincere orphan's education than to fulfill selfish desire of having kid. and nobody in the world knows why do they want children? they just do that's it. and i think bringing your child in such cruel world, is the worst thing you can do to him.

[@kelsiegerig5353]

PREACH! I've always felt this way! So many people have their children for such selfish reasons. And they never stop and think, "is this really going to be worth it for them?" That's the ONLY thing thats important. It has to be worth it only for THEM! If I ever change my mind and have children, it will only be because I know it will truly only be worth it for them.Their life will truly be worth living. (I definitely know the pain, because mine isn't) Only if they will have an incredible childhood and their future is all set up and waiting for them. A lot of people never think about their childrens future.

[@kelsiegerig5353]

@@superthevibe yes! Exactly! It’s so selfish to just not care about any of that stuff

[@thejacobsenshike]

I've always had this same thought! I'm glad other people are thinking it too. Thanks for sharing.

[@tricivenola8164]

There are plenty of people who regret having kids. But saying so out loud makes you seem a monster, and your kids might hear it, too. So people admit it privately. The kindest way I ever heard this expressed was "don't forget- you can't give them back once you have them."

[@lovepilie]

IMO, the one thing one should consider honestly, when wondering about having kids, is : "how much am I willing to accept someone else having the control of my life ?". Because in the end, your kid will come first EVERY day. No exception. And I don't mean it as a constraint : if you are a bit of a caring person, it is what you will do. I believe that if you are a very independant type of person, it is a huge thing to factor in ! I do see some parents using all the outside care they can because they don't want to give up on anything : their date nights, sport time, yoga lessons, demanding jobs, dinner with friend time etc... they barely make time for their kids. It is personaly quite a heartache to witness, and I often wonder why these people even bothered to procreate. Sometimes being a good parent is to choose not becoming one XD

[@CordeliaWagner]

They have kids because society wants them to. Of course they don't want to deal with them but can't gove them away.

[@molekyyli]

"Sometimes being a good parent is to choose not becoming one." Well said.

[@redwing220]

Having a child doesn't mean they are number 1 in your life, your spouse/partner should be number 1. You incorporate a kid into a pre-existing family unit, you don't stop living because of them. Life looks a lot different after having a kid, but it doesn't stop. People saying a kid controls their life can be a reflection of that specific parent/child relationship rather than parenthood as a whole

[@bodycounter9386]

I personally do not share this take on having children. I do not get the mentality of "my children ALWAYS comes first" and people just giving up their entire being. Doing my job is a *necessity* and not an option. I have studied and worked way too hard to get where i am now and im not giving that up for my child. I am also in a relationship with my partner so dating nights are a must. I not only love my children but i love my partner and that love should be cherished. Of course your children come first in many scenarios but you should not give up everything for them. That just makes you miserable.

[@jimsturt]

you say this like it's a bad thing. anyone who feels having a child would "take control of their life" is just a sh*tty person.

[@AletheAce]

A lot of people regret having kids, they just rarely or never admit it. It's such a huge taboo to admit that. I think too many people just have kids without REALLY thinking it through, and they just do because of base primal instinct, or "because that's what people do", or because they think it will magically make them happy and create meaning in their lives. The result is that we have millions in orphanages and millions neglected and even abused kids.

[@shakeyj4523]

Sometimes you don't really have a choice. Like a couple who uses birth control that fails.

[@AletheAce]

@@shakeyj4523 True. But that's extremely rare.

[@shakeyj4523]

@@AletheAce It's not that rare. lol

[@AletheAce]

@@user-dx5ci9lz7u Well yeah, having kids narrows the kinds of lifestyles you can have. So it is having kids, and not the kids themselves that some people regret. However, many people also regret the kids themselves. You see this often with parents whose kids turn to be criminals or rapists or such.

[@David-cg1nt]

Dang, I’m sorry me having a kid has put millions in orphanages and neglect and abuse.

[@heather1506]

I’m in my 40s. I have so many regrets in life, but not having children isn’t one of them. Sometimes you just know.

[@JanGlow]

Me too

[@lenkaklapalova]

Same here.

[@SuperKanuuna]

single mom or still happilz together? I think I wont have kids, because I never wanna be a single dad. kids stays always with you but your partner (unfortunately) not

[@jlt131]

me too, I knew from my early teens that children weren't in my future. I think there's a need for a person to be solid financially, physically, emotionally, and preferably in a good relationship with the other parent (or at least have a good support system around them). I've never had all of those things at once until just recently (in my 40s) - but I have no regrets about not having kids. I've got nephews, they are fun. And yeah, in my old age, there won't really be anyone around that feels obligated to care for me, but even if you have kids there's no guarantee they will either.

[@Kristen-ek9rz]

For me, I never knew such love as I did when I had my 2 children. Having said that, my childless friends have found their love with their pets or with an amazing career of service to others.......may we all find what nourishes us with love.

[@HumansAreShitFactories]

Love, electrical activity in the brain amounting to computation in relevant brain areas that produce comfort. Areas that are developed to a greater or lesser degree in different people.

[@MonkeyDIvan]

"May we all find what nourishes us with love," you say as you selfishly impose life on an innocent being. I wish my parents never conceived me, and I hope yours do too.

[@MadnessOfOurTime]

@@MonkeyDIvan wah lifes hard

[@cassondralynch6342]

Beautiful, beautiful post Kristen! :)

[@cassondralynch6342]

@@MonkeyDIvan Some people believe all souls on earth chose to incarnate here. It's something I believe strongly. You may regret it now but it's not unlikely you chose to be here.

[@gaillewis5472]

This showed up as an ad and I wanted to watch it again. Two people I know - one a childhood friend and the other a college friend, confided in me that they regret having children. I think it has a great deal to do with the stability or lack thereof in their relationships. Struggling to get by and at the same time trying to be the glue that holds a family together can be emotionally taxing. My heart breaks for them. I'm also overjoyed for friends and relatives with happy marriages and well adjusted kids.

[@LonelyCinderella123]

I'm 37 without any kids and also the youngest of my siblings so to be honest I worry about being alone in old age. But perhaps that's not the best reason for having kids. Also having income on the lower side I can still afford things like travel and hobbies/interests only because I don't have any kids. So yeah probably won't have any but there are moments when I see other people with their kids and wish I had that but then it passes. Plus its only in the good times not when they're screaming and crying 🤣

[@transphotography]

@@LonelyCinderella123 There are substantial pros and cons to either situation. Be grateful for what you have and you won’t live life in regret.

[@transphotography]

Being a parent, especially to multiple children, is inarguably one of the most challenging experiences one will ever have. It tests your mental and physical fortitude, your stamina, endurance, and so many other skills. But as with most challenges, if you can make it to the other side, it can feel rewarding and change you for the better in unexpected ways. There are pros & cons to every situation, so encourage your friends to look for the good in what they have and throw away their regrets. Life is too short. Don’t dwell on what they can’t change, focus on what they CAN change, be grateful for what they have and move along before it’s all over.

[@sandraaviles-wilkes7036]

Being a parent is very difficult, but it’s definitely important to have a good partner by your side that’s helping you. Don’t get me wrong at times it really does suck, but it does help when you have a good partner and you communicate with them.

[@MaryJaneJones.]

This is why a lot of parents are killing their kids. They had them too young, and didn't get a chance to experience life.

[@AnimeGamer256]

I think the bigger question rather than " Will having kids make you happy?" should be "Would I be a good parent?" or " Would I raise a good, stable, fulfilled person?" The answer most people would have should be a pretty significant no, the vast majority of people would not make good parents. The attention and knowledge required to care for and raise a person well just isn't something most people are capable of giving, though I'm sure they'd say otherwise, people's standards for what makes a good parent are too low, "good enough" should not be the standard when discussing the literal raising of a human being. The idea that any random person can create life and mold it to their values and whims just because they can seems genuinely crazy to me.

[@shiv_ring]

Exactly. The first question is egoistic. The last altruistic.

[@datsneakysnek]

Thank you for saying this

[@replicaacliper]

Both questions are important to consider

[@stinksofbeefio]

No one knows if they will be a good parent or not until they are one.

[@mactireliath2356]

It is a catch 22: because of the transformative nature of having children, the “you” that answers No is not the same “you” that will be empowered to find the potential for an answer of Yes. This was my personal experience.

[@AkshatPaul]

I think people without kids have both remembered and experienced happiness

[@DjeauxSheaux]

I think having kids made my parents happy, but they were awful, terrible parents who absolutely should have not had kids. Life has been such a miserable experience for me that I can't imagine making another person to put through what I've been through.

[@64___]

I have similar thoughts to you. My parents weren’t ready to have kids and had their own traumas. They did their best but I still have issues now as an adult with how they treated me. Since I know I have issues the last things I would ever want to do is have children and repeat the cycle. I have introspection unlike my parents.

[@MissSarcasticBunny]

Deciding to have kids is a tough one, for sure. I have so many people who are parents nagging me to have children because, according to them, it's the best thing you could ever do and it will make me so happy. Yet, when I listen to those same parents' everyday conversations all they do is complain about how awful it is to have children - how they suck up your time, suck up your money, ruin your body, ruin your peace and quiet, take away any chance at good sleep, and so forth. When I point this out, they very much revert back to that remembered happiness spoken about here. They deny all the complaining and then say things like, "Oh, but when they smile at you it's the greatest feeling in the world and it makes it all worth it!" It's like these parents have amnesia and forget about the other times their children act like absolute demons and tell them they hate them, draw on their walls, spit at them or do all the other things kids do that are horrible. I can do all the research in the world but I am not sure I trust the judgement of parents because what they say doesn't always line up with the reality and they often just want someone to share in their suffering and simply feel jealous of your freedom as a childless person.

[@ukn4]

kids depends on how you educate them, they aren't inherntly neither bad nor good. If you decide to be a parent, you need to be the best parent you could ever be and the responsability is 100% yours. they don't decide to be born but you decide to give them birth

[@allikohcysp]

Have kids if you want them, able to take care of them and willing to sacrifice for them. If you can’t do those things, don’t have kids. I have kids and my life is all the better for it. I would never tell other people to have kids. Just do what makes you happy, as long as it doesn’t harm yourself or others.

[@Emiliapocalypse]

There legitimately is a thing called “mommy brain” that actually causes you to forget. They’ve been studying how pregnancy causes changes in the brain, it’s interesting and explains a lot

[@stinksofbeefio]

All those complaints are worth it. That's the point. That's how magical it is.

[@allikohcysp]

@@stinksofbeefio agreed. You can’t appreciate the good times without experiencing the bad times.

[@TheOvalle314]

I have two children and I completely agree with this video. While it is hard to feel ecstatic after changing the third diaper in the middle of the night, with the passing of the years you start noticing how magical the times gone by really are. Also, I would venture to say that the vast majority of parents regard their kids as the best, most meaningful thing they have done with their lives.

[@cecegirl4327]

I do wonder if that is because the average person doesn't seek out any other things that could create meaning and they have pre-conciveed notions on what meaning for them is. We have been fed that a family is the goal of life in this natalist hegemony.

[@gpond7]

Totally agree with you brother, I have a 17 month old with another on the way, I try to live in the moment as much as I can because I know the days are long but the years are short

[@ashleylemmer8016]

100%

[@zosiawisniewska4356]

So meaningfull - yet another resources consumer on our already overpopulated planet! Thank you for your service kind sir.

[@joaquin67]

@@cecegirl4327 perhaps. But no matter what self-made, fulfilling endeavor we create for ourselves, Mother Nature doesn’t care so much. We’re wired to pop out babies and are rewarded with fulfillment in order to keep the species alive. If the species isn’t kept alive, then eventually no other self-created purpose will matter. Besides, if the species dies who will take care of all the domesticated pets?

[@jaerogoth]

The #1 thing people say to me when I tell them I don't want kids is "but who's going to take care of you when you're older?". I just shake my head in dismay and skip off to one of the half dozen or so trips we go on each year.

[@lovethyneibor22736]

❤

[@anewlife5846]

Caretakers are there for such things but having kids just to have them as future caretakers is absolutely absurd.

[@RachelEden]

Not the kids problem to take care of the parents. What if bad ones ? They say bye bye , If good one or up to them . If parents in a very bad situation take lot to care of . They have their life and family’s too . That bit much on them .

[@praba991ify]

No grandchildren for u

[@Evelyne571]

kids take care of their parents by shipping them off to the nursing home.

[@cameemz]

I'm 26 and go so back and forth on the idea of having children someday. I'm just not sure I'm willing to give up so much of my life to something else other than tending to myself. I finally feel as though I have "woken up" recently, and I can't imagine giving myself away again so soon...

[@multienergico9299]

I'm a parent of a one year old. I am loving every single day of my life, I can't wait to the moment I get home and our baby comes crawling to me with a smiler on her face. Our baby has really filled my life with joy. However, yes, it is hard work, you need to make changes to adapt to your little one and you will sleep less than before. If you think you have the required mental maturity, you understand the consequences and both of you prepare (make your budget and read about how the mind of a baby works). then my recommendation is that you have kids. Btw, I had never held a baby before and my experience with babies was pretty much inexistent. But I've informed myself, made my budget and accepted what was to come. And finally remember, happiness is a journey, enjoy what you have 😊

[@nikelover76]

28 here and I'm the same way--going back and forth about it. I know I have plenty of time, but sometimes something just comes up and you think about it a lot. It's a strange place to be.

[@edantes2008]

If you are having doubts DON'T DO IT, it's not as if you can return the item, life isn't Walmart. Life is difficult as it is, having children with the wrong partner is a nightmare, having children is one of the most serious decisions you can make.

[@ahuman5772]

@@superthevibe If I'm correct, you seem to be implying that the answer is "no", but I definitely would be happy to be alive today as a small child. Also, it's always easy to undo your parents decision if you don't like it, but I'd recommend getting some therapy first.

[@AlejandroValenzuela]

@@ahuman5772 ehm if it were that "easy", so many of us would not be here writing these comments.. it is not. Especially once you consider how much it would screw up the lives of others you care about.

[@crystalfullerton3908]

There is no should about having them. You should WANT kids first and if you don't, then you should not have them. And no one but you should be deciding if you carry and give birth.

[@kariannecrysler640]

I would like to remind anyone thinking about the addition of a child in your life that there are many ways to do this. If you’re not sure, volunteer at a local hospital or daycare to get some hands on experience. Also remember that many children are stuck in the system. They had parents or guardians who failed to provide them their needs. Some just need a safe place until the parents figure things out. But many need homes. Sometimes it is better to provide to one in need than to create another who need’s. Either way great joy and love happen. Sure, fear and frustration too, but it’s so worth it!💚

[@atomixfang]

Not the same.

[@kariannecrysler640]

@@atomixfang But it is to the child. Throughout the wild kingdom caring for abandoned youths happens. It’s up to you if you can do it or not.

[@shiv_ring]

@@kariannecrysler640

[@How.Dare.You.]

Wanting to extend own genes and create being thats connected to you is one thing, feeling a need to help out and provide for an abandoned child is another

[@kariannecrysler640]

@@How.Dare.You. They are different. But being a parent is more than expanding your genes and trying to creat a connection. Those are desires. Desires are created from ego and hubris. Being a parent is loving beyond yourself. It’s putting the well-being of another person ahead of yourself. And genetics are not the reason why a person does this for another, its love.

[@christophernuzzi2780]

I love my kids too much to have them.

[@tinamenon1593]

Having children has exhausted me to an almost unbearable point yet their wonder, growth, humour and sensitivity taught me about myself in a myriad of ways. Its more than either meaningful or purposeful, it fundamentally changed my experience of life. I was still driven to achieve as i was pre children, driven with a thirst for knowledge and an unquenchable sense of independence, however my world became entwined with their prosperity to the point where their laughter was more heavenly to my ears than any sonata. Equally the extremity of frustration was shocking. However, having children precipitated a life of profoundly grateful service. This served me in also caring for my elderly father in his last years. It was both magical, heartbreaking and yet poignant to see my toddler grow with curiosity, enlarged emotions and mobility and dexterity and yet my father week by week loose those abilities. Yet they both could communicate with smiles and hugs in a very pure way. This i believe to be true whether these are your biological, foster or adopted children but all of those who are curious and sensitive enough to care and teach humans, animals & living entities of all ages. Regardless of your religious belief, our innate selves benefit from service to the benefit and good of others. Now, if one measures sucess by outcomes, then my only wish is for my children to be healthy, happy and driven with purpose which includes service to and for the good and benefit of others and themselves equally.

[@lauriewromar5478]

Phenomenally written Couldn’t agree more! ❤

[@pierreuntel1970]

well said, well said!

[@GodSoLoved.Yeshua]

Beautiful🥺♥️

[@e52n]

you are responsible and partly at fault incase something happens to your children

[@scrubjay93]

I never wanted to have kids myself and knew that from early on. I am 61 now and have never regretted my decision not to have them. I am always surprised that other people WANT to have children 🤔

[@Emiliapocalypse]

Lol same. I’m stressed, and tired and broke already…why do I need guilt on top of that? Why anyone wants more of that is beyond my understanding

[@sanaheveret9693]

Ao trueeee

[@haleyhowell7889]

I undeniably want to have kids. That said, I will always fight for child-free people to be able, comfortable, and supported in their best life. What I don't get is people who want kids and think that this means everyone must either want kids, be crazy, or just be pretending 🥴 I want kids and you don't. We probably have different cars and careers and favorite colors too, it's not hard to grasp 😭😭 anyways I hope your life is full of love and beauty 🎉 thank you for choosing to live your best one.

[@CordeliaWagner]

To many sacrifices. Ruined body. No freedom. I can't see why people want this.

[@balancedL]

We decided not to have kids and have no regrets so far. We find life both meaningful and relaxing. I always thought I would either focus on career or kids. Doing both sounded too much for me. I have huge respect for parents!

[@kodyhenry7]

It's kind of like the ultimate form of greed. You were given life and you can take everything for granted on this Earth and then you leave without replenishing the well. Humans wouldn't even exist if other animals had the option to not procreate.....

[@kat.5927]

@@kodyhenry7 Oh please, it's not like the human race is disappearing, there's never been so many of us. Stop bullying people into having children, everyone has the right to make that decision for themselves.

[@CaroLI-lh2re]

Not all the ppl in the world will have kids. Why are we so obsessed with saving humanity? Humanity will end one day .-.

[@truehappiness4U]

@@CaroLI-lh2replus Humans suck. They destroy their own home: the planet Earth. We humans forget that other organisms live on this planet as well. We have to take care of it better. Plant more trees and grass. Stop cutting down too much trees for profit

[@Danuxsy]

@@kat.5927 Yes but those specific genes will never exist again, these people that don't have children will simply be replaced by people whom do.

[@nothanks1239]

Let me just say, as a woman who didnt have kids until she was 30; it doesn't matter what decision you make, someone will always complain about it. I was called selfish for not having kids, and i've been called selfish for having kids. Some people genuinely cannot grasp someone living a different life from them. I'd suggest ignoring all judgemental comments, because there is NO escaping them. You do what feels right for you. Dont feel pressured into anything and don't allow anyone to make you feel guilty. You know yourself more than anyone.

[@ahuman5772]

I agree! I wish people would just accept that people are all different and make their own choices.

[@Sona77.]

Very true. I keep quiet now about my personal life.

[@jeremykelly3633]

Being a parent is exhaustingly beautiful. You sign up for being infinitely “second” going forward. They bring a different meaning to holidays & a deeper awareness of passing time. It’s maddening. It’s exhilarating. It’s strenuous on your relationship. It brings routine & flow to your life. Having a child is an irreparable decision that should be approached with caution & wonder.

[@rellj8611]

I’d rather not approach it all. Happy for those who enjoy parenthood though.

[@dariaelena7711]

that is such a beautiful way of putting it into words!

[@nicklaskowalski]

Totally agree

[@aminachowdhury5415]

Irreparable decision... hahaha... I will have to use this. 😂

[@xcrazy98x51]

Thats bullsh*t

[@nicomirinda]

Great video. We should be careful as well at NOT living our parents' dream of being a grandfather/mother which at times can easily cascade in the form of "pressure". You are the owner of your life and only you know what makes you happy and what does not. Try to discover it day by day and avoid taking decisions by living on others' wishes.

[@Jose04537]

It's not just pressure, it reaches blackmail a lot of times, specially if inheritance is involved.

[@Synthwave89]

​@@Jose04537 it's manipulative and disgusting that parents use inheritance as blackmail, but on the flip side you are not entitled to their estate. If someone lets their parents manipulate and pressure them with that, it's their own fault. Gain your independence and they will never hold anything over you.

[@edblarney9456]

It's not your 'parents dream' it's the dream of life, a very existential impulse much greater than you.

[@nicomirinda]

@@edblarney9456 why then there are so many "dream of life" abandoned? careless? and sometimes being used as a 'way to manipulate' between parents when they do not get along anymore? Look, I understand you see it as a dream of life. I find it too abstract and my point is that sometimes people have children not because they really want but because it's in "the manual".

[@V01DIORE]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@edblarney9456That’s just being a slave to the organic encode unquestioningly, propagation for such sake the same that flames do burn. Needless imposition to immolate each new for the will of the system. Naught consent it is permissible solely by double standards despite entailing the literal source of all affliction. Gambling with lives not yours without any risk assessment, risk in not being born: Nothing. Risk in being born: Everything. One can ask again and again why but it is simple feasibility, probabilistic ends which self-serve.

[@Niadrawings]

As someone who has many hobbies and passionate about creativity and learning new things everyday, my life is meaningful when I’m creative, and I spend time on things that I enjoy. To me, life is meaningless if our purpose is to procreate, which is something billions of people have been doing for the past thousands of years; it’s mundane and overdone already.

[@scrubjay93]

100% with you.

[@Emiliapocalypse]

With you on that one! Love to be creative! If I had less time for that, life would be less worth living. I don’t need a child as an excuse to be creative either, I have my own permission lol 😸

[@noskcir7]

Kids is also a creative work, don't you think? You observe and modify then regularly just like yourself. 🤔

[@Kongajinken]

I wouldn't say either is more or less meaningless. To say that one way or the other is more or less is not only arrogant, its pretty rude to the other.

[@JDog2656]

I agree with that. Not because of overpopulation or anything, but just in the sense that while it is a special gift, anyone and everyone can procreate so it’s really just binary at this point. At least find something meaningful to do with your life first, so then hopefully you can inspire them to do the same. Like the Irwin’s for example

[@CuddleFish124]

I’ve decided that I definitely don’t want biological kids (am actually thinking of getting myself sterilized), but I am completely open to adoption. There are so many unwanted children in this world; children who desperately want to have a family and be given a chance in life. I was adopted from a situation where my life would’ve been very hard, and so I feel like I should pass this blessing on. But yes I understand “having” kids is a HUGE undertaking, and I probably won’t choose even the adoption option until I am in a good place financially and can be more or less sure I can provide that child with the best quality of life. They can definitely be a blessing, and give you so much more intangibly than they “take”, but they are also a lot of work (and cost a lot of money). As my parents always said when I was growing up: once you have kids, it’s no longer “your turn”; it’s THEIR turn.

[@jayaa05]

In India, the number one problem between couple is not kids.. its parents and inlaws , because of our culture 😃

[@Iamhere829]

As an Indian:💯 My parents didn’t even wanted kids.. They had us so they can keep the inlaws and relatives’ mouths shut 😞

[@thechangingtimes]

My wife and I absolutely LOVE being “Uncle” and “Auntie” to lots of nieces and nephews. In addition, We’ve had the honor to teach and educate literally thousands of young people in our roles as educators over the last 25 years. We both knew long ago we wanted something besides children and are so happy with our decision. 🥰

[@ujjwaltyagi3030]

How old are u now

[@AO-wg9ne]

Something??

[@Emiliapocalypse]

@@AO-wg9ne anything!!

[@Cub__]

Do you two have sex or not?

[@thechangingtimes]

@@AO-wg9ne something meaning: happily married for almost 25 years, early retirement, annual trips to Disney, masters degrees and a PHD, a second career in music, helping fund college for friends and relatives, taking care of Maltese rescue dogs and being able to help the NMDR, ability to eat out at leisure, driving newer/safer cars, freedom to record my 10th music album, having a second vacation residence in Orlando, and generally being an enlightened, more compassionate, and kinder person to those around us. 😉 Remember, each child a person has in North America will cost somewhere between 250k to 500k just to get to 18 years of age… and there are already over 8,000,000,000 BILLION people living on Earth- each with the same genetics codes that we all carry- we already have billions of “children.”

[@hustlemami8732]

Imo as a "mom" to my nephew, the experience was extremely fulfilling and transformative. I've never wanted to be a mom myself but it just happened. And while I don't regret it, I don't want to do it again. My mental health is hanging on my a thread. I really don't have any capacity including finances. If I was a mom I am 100% sure I would have been a one and done mom. It's the experience that changes or helps you fully step into yourself. Or rather the experience helps you connect with that maternal nurturing part of you. That being said, having a kid is like getting a lucky packet. You just don't know what you're going to get. U just have to remember that they didn't ask to be here. U wanted them here and have a responsibility towards them. Including emotional availability. And with social media life is becoming much harder to parent. Remember that you're not raising kids for you because your kids WILL disappoint you. You need to be forgiving in this role. Your kids are not your retirement plan. You're not raising kids for you but to continue the evolution of mankind for the next generation so you gotta do it with no expectation in return. Having kids is subjective and each person's choice needs to be respected because we don't know their personal circumstances and what resources they have including mental and emotional capacity.

[@elinavance3476]

I agree with everything but with the social media part- what do you mean with: "And with social media life is becoming much harder to parent."?

[@leonidas759]

I know parents who have secretly told me that having kids really changed their lives for worse. Of course I am good at keeping secrets, so they feel the confidence to tell me. Having kids is a huge responsibility and requires mature adults. If the parent has not even matured everything gets much much more complicated in life.

[@lmao5070]

Are u good at keeping secrets now tho?

[@JamesSmith-gi7ds]

Its not so complicated. Parents make things more complicated then needed. Kids need food, water, warmth and love and a roof. You might screw up as a parent but even if so, your grandkids might have happy families or their grandkids.. you get the idea... you pretty much just give someone down the line to enjoy life or deal with all its complications

[@milesinwyatteandcora]

I feel like with the turmoil all over the world especially us in the US it's not worth it meaning to push people into having kids imo. From schools teaching absurd things confusing their identity to forecast war with water with record breaking droughts in the west. Influx of immigrants in many cities and influx of migrants to countryside which equals high cost of living and food etc and ever escalating war with china or the whole cccp group. There's so much going on and I feel like this and the future generation is fucked . Kinda like how mine is right now. High cost of living/ food , tension between kids being indoctrinated by school and social media further isolation between themselves and family . Idk seems bleek nowadays to have one and to risk them getting indoctrinated by peers and schools risking suicide , then when they're older , tough job markets /living markets , and tension with everyone further leading to isolation . Not looking good man imo

[@MarcoAshford]

@@lmao5070 Telling strangers online is ok, that still counts as keeping it. Just don't tell people that know the person.

[@claralilli]

@@lmao5070we have no idea who they’re speaking about it’s still a secret

[@akiralee9934]

It's so ironic that this came along when my mother was crying this morning over having no grandchildren etc. And all I could think about was how even though I try to make the best of my life, sometimes it would be a relief if I never had the choice to exist to begin with. Life is just... hard sometimes. I wouldn't inflict it on some innocent just because society and my parents said so. So yeah, the thought of becoming a mother gives me hives.

[@kelsiegerig5353]

Love this comment! I feel you so much on this! I think about how cruel it would be to have a child when I wish everyday I could take away the day I was conceived. Both my parents had me for selfish reasons. It's just not worth it unless its for all the right reasons.

[@burnyizland]

LOL, yes. Every day of my life for as long as I can remember I've wished I'd never been born. It's one of the major reasons I didn't want kids, I did not want to foist this life on anyone. Wasn't given the choice though unfortunately.

[@Adityadhar_23]

My wife and I have shared the exact same feelings you've articulated above. You're definitely not alone...

[@manuuyt5919]

I also feel like people who have children as a fun thing ignore the suffering it causes others. Creating more consumers in the world that need produce and clothes made from the labour of impoverished people. Some people live in a bubble of happiness by ignoring how the world system works

[@melliott3681]

I'm surprised this didn't have more about cultural and religious expectations and how those influence the decision to have children. I always felt I was raised with the message "this is how you live your life." That path was college, career, marriage, buy a house, raise children, save for retirement, give back to community, retire, buy an RV and drive around the country, while visiting your grandkids. This definitely was the prescribed and expected life for my generation, and very much designed through expectations from previous generations and religion, not to mention our economy.. I know younger generations are not just going along with this anymore.

[@CordeliaWagner]

Houseownership is a scam. Marriage is an outdated religious custom. Why wait with travelling when you can do it while you are young? I don't see anything appealing in the old fashioned lifestyle. Especially not all the work mothers do. NOPE!

[@nyxcin1]

I decided as a 10year old I did NOT want to have children. It took years to find a Dr willing to perform a tubal ligation when I was 33 (had been trying to get one beginning in my early 20's). Every Dr basically told me I didn't really know what I wanted. It is without doubt the smartest decision I ever made. Thank heavens I live in a country (🇺🇸) where that choice is possible. For now, anyway.

[@franzritz8502]

try doing that in Italy :(

[@JyotiSinghIITD]

Wow, you really are very clear about what you want. I am facing a dilemma even though I suffer from adenomyosis and removing my uterus would be the best thing I can do to get rid of the excruciating pain I go through every month. Reading your comment made me feel good that you still think it is the best decision you ever made.

[@irisgo6448]

Same! I had the same thoughts since childhood, and made the decision not to have kids in my teens. Don't know how it came to my mind as a little girl with a happy childhood and good parents. Because of the culture and social norms where I grew up, choosing to not have kids as a kid/teen is so rare that I always thought I'm weird😅 Glad to know there are others like me!

[@rollingon6358]

@nyx cin How was your childhood?

[@nyxcin1]

@@rollingon6358 You first: how was yours?

[@bernsky]

I have 4-5 friends that I KNOW they were meant to have kids, and do such an exceptional job with and they bring them extraordinary happiness - but i also know the many varied situations where folks have separated, the kids are the pawns in the fight - and its just heartbreaking to watch what i endured happen to another child. my choice was always no kids, but i rejoice when one of my friends who really wants/embodies/works to be the mother they wanted to be ☺️

[@4fastdrs]

On the subject of children; my father has often said, "I wouldn't take a billion dollars for any of my children, and I wouldn't pay a plugged Nickel to have another one". I'd say that is a pretty accurate assessment of The mindset of parenting now that I myself am a parent.😉 I'm also not entirely sure that if he was offered 2 billion dollars, one of my siblings wouldn't be gone.😂🤔

[@v4l3nt1nn]

many people have children without being prepared. it's sad

[@PerceptionVsReality333]

I see that all the time especially with minorities.

[@intelligentspeculator7327]

This video has only reinforced me in the idea of not wanting to ever have children. Far be it from me to hate this idea, but I just think that the cons far outweigh any potential pros of having a child.

[@CordeliaWagner]

💯

[@savagesweetheart90]

People should ask themselves, do I want a baby or be a parent? There's a BIG difference, a baby is a baby for a year, a parent is a lifetime.

[@darktower74]

Coming from someone who chose not to have kids yet still got married. Fuckk yessssss! Tons of money in the bank. No incessant noise. No daycare bills, no thousands wasted on LEGO or My Pretty Pony. Loooooooove it.

[@shiv_ring]

- I do *not* regret having *no* kids (and generally do not wish to have them). - If I change my opinion, I'd *adopt* - there are just too many children out there without a home already...

[@N0Xa880iUL]

How can 1) Just too many children without a home and 2) Historically lowest birthrates, both be true?

[@shiv_ring]

@@N0Xa880iUL Because (2) only applies to the few wealthy countries. Overall, the world population is still growing. With refugees everywhere, there are enough people to take care of without getting new children.

[@Sea_witch_]

Since I was young I dreamed of being a grandmother, it was my dream! I would skip the whole business part of it just to imagine myself surrounded by grandkids. I am 30 now. Life swooped by like a hurricane and all my dreams at 20 slowly fell. I missed out on a lot to work for the little i have now. Family issues, health issues, love issues came and so I live alone, and still gotta think of building the life I couldn't at 20. The kids matter is more outside of my goals now, because of how much life ran ahead of me, and because I feel selfish-AND not selfish at all. I don't wanna bring kids to fill my voids, but i also wanna live what I missed out on at 20. It's my generation's struggle.

[@N0Xa880iUL]

You put it really nicely.

[@mael1515]

Cudos for not involving kids in these issues you mentioned. Like it sais in the video, there are more ways to a fulfilling life. 🙂

[@M.Sid9.3]

this generation needs to heal.

[@Jrdoesitwell]

Damm, this comment hit too close.

[@kariannecrysler640]

I think you are right on track. Having you and your situation stable will be great if it does happen. My grandma was 40 when she had my mother. That was in the 1950’s. Waiting to be grown up before you try to raise someone else is brilliance at work. You end up with less regrets.😁

[@krisjackson5967]

I loved the time spent with our 3 daughters watching them grow up . Playing swimming camping with them . Teaching them so many things about life. Now they each have 2 children each & loving it. I couldn't imagine life without my daughters. We didn't miss out on anything as we even travelled across the world with them.

[@cwr8618]

ROCK ON!

[@serenefrost7219]

I love this - I am child-free by choice (CFBC) and I always try to explain to people that having children is a choice. The approach to that choice is different for everyone. For me as an autistic individual who gets extremely stressed by my life being "messy" or "complicated", I am 99% sure that having children would be a net negative for me But everyone is different - what I encourage people to do though, is at least acknowledge that having children is a choice, not a requirement. Kind of like how getting married and buying a house are choices. There is no one single path to happiness or meaning. We need to think critically about what each of us wants, not what society tells us we should want

[@burnyizland]

Also autistic and hate the messiness. Nothing could have prepared me for it. I'm glad you were able to make this choice for yourself. I was not.

[@rava6781]

I applaud that choice. As a neuro normative mother to a ADHD/ASD boy, raising him is a nightmare, hard work, constantly arguing and melt downs, he has social disconduct and the looks and anger from other parents and children is soul crushing.. My sister is ND (ADD, ASD but functional) and there's no way in the world she'd cope with having a child like mine. I feel like Ill need a life of therapy just raising my child tbh.

[@TXRider]

@@burnyizland autistic here. I can barely handle myself some days, whyever would I have a child?

[@burnyizland]

@@TXRider Whyever would you think that I would think that you should have a child?

[@adanascencio3924]

I have kids (two of my own and one "bonus" that came with my wife) and I have to say it's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I in fact would not recommend it to most people because you have to be completely selfess and be willing to give up so many things. Too many people in today's society (mostly western cutulture, with the USA being the epidemy of it) are self centered and I think would make (or make) aweful parents because they want to be rich, have peace and quiet and full control over their lives. By the way, I fit this category, I was heavy into self improvement and grinding 80 hour weeks and now I find it hard to have a balance, since I always prioritize my family over making my first million. Kids have indeed changed me to be a better person because they've forced me to be more responsible and think better about my decisions, and taught me to be patient and let go of control. I think in 10-20 years as they get older I will very much be glad I had them... but man it's really hard, granted there are times where I am glad I have them now.

[@firelordOzai3]

I usually tell people that I’m glad I decided to have a child but knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t do it again.

[@RoxanneJ]

Yep so true so true. Ours are in their twenties now. It’s the greatest and hardest thing I have ever done or ever will do. The work is constant and unrelenting. But such rewards! Now I’m exhausted lol 😂

[@hanatemonstas4485]

This isn’t mostly western culture problem and it is a dangerous line of thought to make it out to be. The idea of using your children as status symbols and to improve your reputation within society. The ostracization of not having kids, especially in a collectivistic societies, is a lot more detrimental saying as someone who grown up in one. At least in the US, it is far more socially acceptable and at least thinkable to not have kids than comparing to growing up in a lot of other places.

[@vrcatlady7227]

Thanks for letting us know how having kids have benefited YOU.

[@adanascencio3924]

@@vrcatlady7227 you’re welcome

[@ambivert11]

If I could go back in time, I would choose not to have children. Parenting has been a source of great dissatisfaction for me. My children are now in their early adulthood, with one of them having two kids of their own and the other still living with me. Parenthood is not a universal experience, and individuals should be more forthcoming about its challenges.

[@dion5804]

Thank you for being honest.

[@viviennepastor3188]

As a child who was not planned or wanted I can say from a child’s perspective that it is a mistake to have children unless you are 100% committed in them.

[@nickzardiashvili624]

If you have kids in order for your life to gain more meaning, you should consider that you're basically outsourcing your problem of seeking the meaning to that potential being. "I don't know what the meaning of my life is, I'll just create another being and devote my life to it. The meaning of my existence will be the well-being of that other creature(s)." Of course what you're really doing is putting the kid in a position where they'll have to solve the same meaning problem years down the line. They're likely to resort to the same solution and on and on like that.

[@ericfleet9602]

Please find me a "meaning of life" argument that isn't circular.

[@nickzardiashvili624]

@@ericfleet9602 I never said I could.

[@shamk7885]

The hardest part of being a parent for me was how tethered I felt to my husband after that and how much I took on of the parenting job. These two were somehow intertwined

[@cwr8618]

you married a kucklehead then.

[@baxakk7374]

Yeah, this is why traditional societies push women to have children. They usually have arranged marriages, so they don't feel attached to each other, but with children they feel the same as you do.

[@lynb87]

Interesting, I wonder about that. Life becomes much more about the family and I don't know if I'm ready for that.

[@PercivalHoward]

I am so very grateful that my husband and I are child-free.

[@LIGMASTEFAN]

U have so many free time and u can sleep safely and good for health ;))

[@SonjaDawn]

I have absolutely heard parents say if they had a chance to do it over, they wouldn't have kids. These parents tend to be people whose lives do not only revolve around their children.

[@molekyyli]

I wish there was a poll where people would dare to answer truthfully about this topic. It'd be really interesting to see.

[@SonjaDawn]

@@molekyyli oh absolutely! It would be totally fascinating!

[@Ravenelvenlady]

There is a subreddit group for parents who regret having kids.

[@jzhng250]

Why all parents say "kids are worth it": because (1) if they say they arent worth it, you hurt the kids feelings and people think you are cruel and (2) even if it was not worth it, the kid is already born, so you can only make the best of the situation. The question is 100% biased.

[@sandraaviles-wilkes7036]

I knew I wanted kids but I knew I didn’t want them in my twenties. I wanted to make sure I found the right partner and that I was mentally/financially (I don’t think anyone is financially prepared for kids) prepared. I deliberately made the CHOICE to having children in my thirties. It’s a CHOICE that I don’t regret. It’s hard at times but no regrets. And it’s not for everyone so respect those who choose not to have them!!! It’s all about CHOICE!!

[@cwr8618]

why do you keep capitalizing the word 'choice'? Are there people in this comment section forcing others to have children that you're trying to get through to?

[@angelagraves865]

I was raised with the assumption that I'd have kids, I never questioned it. Then at some point in my teens I started listening to people talk about what it was like to have kids, and while they all said there's no love like it, they also all talked about the time, energy, and money you have to spend on kids as well as the constant worry and vigilance. I weighed the pros and cons for a few years and then when I was 22 my bf got a vasectomy. I'm 53 now and I've never regretted not having kids. Besides, I figure I've had kids before and I'll have them again. I can spend this time around doing other things.

[@dagingerbreadman70]

Had kids before and will have them again wha-

[@bigthink]

@@dagingerbreadman70 M Night Shyamalan twist at the end.

[@Catlily5]

Reincarnation, I assume.

[@___Anakin.Skywalker]

Your life choice to be barren actually made you miss out on important life experiences like parenting. I'm 40 and recently had a sweet happy boy. There's no joy like it. It's amazing because I thought I'd live my own life too, until my boy was created unplanned.

[@angelagraves865]

@@___Anakin.Skywalker 🤣

[@izzieee3750]

“KIDS dont always make you happier” great starter.. now can someone go back in time and show this to my parents thanks?

[@christinebeyke5528]

I think, as not only a parent but also a human, there are going to be moments of regret or wishing we could go back and do things differently. As a mother, while I may love my children, there are certainly days where I don't "like" them & there is no denying the truth of that. However, this is not a relationship I planned to have in the fleeting sense; it is a relationship I choose to have not only now, but hopefully for the rest of my life. Even if in the future they grow in a way that leaves us strained or distant, they will always be "mine" just as I will always be "theirs". He is right when he says we tend to remember more of the good than the bad. I don't remember the tantrums other than how silly it was to have an argument about putting on socks, but I will always treasure the hug before I leave for work or the extra kisses "for the baby" or the warmth of my son sitting on my lap while he chatters on about the cool new thing he saw today. Parenting fundamentally changes you in a way that is difficult to express. Yes, it is hard & thankless & exacerbating, but there is an undeniable beauty to it. I get to watch someone see the world for the first time, to feel their wonder about things I take for granted. I mean how cool are airplanes? and how amazing is it that flowers come in different colors? and how chaotic and incredible that I, a imperfect mess of a human, get to be part of something so extraordinary that words cannot express it. People climb mountains for many reasons. Some for the challenge, some for the view, some for the memories or for their bucket list or just because they have the calling. It is not the reason that matters; it is what the climb brings to you; what you find through the journey. No, you will not untouched and unchanged; but that is not the point of climbing mountains. Any experience worth making deserves the cost of making it.

[@rossugiarto4036]

Younger me wanted to get married by the time i was 25 and have a family of at least 5 children...but now at 38 and just recently married having maybe one child is only a probability. Happiness is not always about dream come true.

[@hustlemami8732]

Omg i was just thinking about this. For some of us life didn't turn out to be the fairy tale or what we always thought would happen. I'm almost your age and still not married. I most likely won't end up having a kid because of my age. I hope it happens for you though ❤

[@dion5804]

My mother married at 38 too and had the last child at 47. My grandma had the last one at 53.

[@mactireliath2356]

It is a catch 22: because of the transformative nature of having children, the “you” that answers No is not the same “you” that will be empowered to find the potential for an answer of Yes. This was my personal experience.

[@TimJohnston911]

For me, parenting has been life’s ultimate paradox. It’s the most meaningful and joyous thing, but also the hardest thing I’ve ever done x100. I didn’t much like interacting with kids for most of my 20s and 30s, but in my mid thirties I started enjoying my interactions with kids and that was a clue that I was finally ready to think about being a parent. For anyone who is thinking about being a parent, I would recommend asking your partner about their parents and how they were raised. If their parents yelled at them a lot or were abusive in any way, those same traits might come out when your partner becomes a parent. That’s not always the case because a lot of people end up vowing to not be like their parents, but it’s hard to predict because parenting can put you under so much stress that our reality is different from what we thought it would be. I would also recommend being with your partner for at least two years before deciding to have kids. The oxytocin wears off after a year and it’s in the second year that you really start to learn about your partner. Again, this is all “true for me.”

[@Archanakarthikeyan]

thank you for sharing this, very insightful!

[@satchillananda]

It's not the oxytocin that wears off, it's the dopamin

[@user-ei3bu6fz8r]

This is a first time I'm hearing an argument I understand in favour of having kids. Most ppl are more like "you have to have kids" or "don't have kids 'couse they're gross". But this video gave me the understanding that having kids isn't always about societal pressure or unwilling to use contraception

[@gregbors8364]

“It’s part and parcel of a meaningful life.” A bit of an arrogant statement IMO. As there is no intrinsic meaning to life, it’s up to the individual to create their own meaning (or not, if that’s the choice one makes). People who choose to not have children are missing out on that experience, true, just as people who choose to have children are missing out on the experience of living life without having children.

[@stinksofbeefio]

It's literally our most basic instinct. Nothing else can match the sense of purpose and meaning but that's just a bonus. We are just doing what we are designed to do.

[@gregbors8364]

@@stinksofbeefio That’s the deterministic view of human nature, yes. Some people don’t believe free will exists. I’ve heard the instinct (“biological clock”) is stronger in females, I can’t speak to that

[@anzel8932]

I don't think it is quite arrogant actually, IMO I think he doesn't mean to relate having kids to the intrinsic meaning of life itself, but rather by having kids we are creating one of the paths towards our own meaning in life and therefore create a meaningful life that is best suited for us.

[@AS-kf1ol]

I dont understand why people cannot be their own meaning. I see myself as cultivating my personhood and life every single day. Ill never be done developing. The world is so vast. I get being interested in the journey of parenthood and simply choosing it bc you want to. I dont get needing it to have meaning in your life. Seems really sad and a little scary to need to create human beings so that they can be your meaning.

[@psijas73]

If I had a time machine, I would travel back in time and tell my parents that having children is a bad idea 😅

[@oblakaoblaka6457]

I'm 30 female and I'm really in doubt about having children. Sometimes, they look cute and do funny things that make me smile and feel warm. But then I witness toddlers' tantrums in the airports or shops and I think that I'd rather leave them and never hear or see again. I love my life with spontaneous traveling, drinking wine on the beach, hiking, and trying new things - I'm afraid of losing it. I'm so scared of being stuck somewhere because of kids.

[@robertblake9892]

I passed on fatherhood, no desire, lack of talent, never met the right woman. Known too many men who found that fatherhood reduced them to merely being a cash cow, then were clobbered in divorce settlements, trying to be a father via Skype, the Internet, and competing with No.2 doesn't cut it. My only contact with small children is at church, the neighborhood kids, I find being the Nice Neighbor, the Friendly Man who helps the kids fix their bikes, etc. is quite satisfying and makes for better menories for everybody.

[@franzritz8502]

One could claim there’s some selfishness in deciding to put first the preservation of my scarce mental and physical health and not have kids. Personally I find there’s more selfishness in imposing existence to a being that never asked to be born. I’ve always considered it a major act of violence, especially when one’s not willing to advocate that decision to their children and be able to provide them with some philosophical and practical tools to help coping with existence. I’ve spent many years resenting my parents for doing that, but now luckily I’ve come to feel sorry for them (and for myself of course). When I look to people around me (37 yo italian f) in many cases behind the decision to have kids there’s a mindless compliance to other's behaviour and doing what you're "naturally supposed to do". In the worst cases - sadly quite often - people are providing themselves some company and help for future needs (wtf). In the best case scenario one’s just hoping to add meaning to its own meaningless life. And that's fueling some sad cycle.

[@elsaaforges]

You took the words out of my mouth. Having a child is parents' selfishness to impose existence to somebody who never asked for it. Your last line is pure Schopenhauer when he talks about the will to live. All the living beings feel the biological call to procreate. Even if humans are rational beings, most of them can't help but feeling this strong, irrational, biological call. They don't need to give a reason for that because it looks self-explanatory and on top of that, almost everybody agrees without thinking. As Prof. Bloom explains, having children is what -sadly- makes human existence meaningful to ourselves.

[@youtubeoppressivecensorshi8047]

@victoria lol I think maybe they mean if the parents turn out not so great at being parents or not ready have kids just because it makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside then come to realize it’s lot harder then one thought

[@R251400]

@victoria which makes foisting existence immoral in dysfunctional families. Better you stay single than bring a child into your hateful meaningless existence.

[@user-wo5yp1mg6i]

The amount of stupidity in this 😂

[@azamhuq]

Franz, AGREE SO MUCH. THANK YOU

[@brokencandy1797]

People DO regret having children. They just feel too guilty to admit it and they are shamed for doing so. They might be a minority of parents, but they're more than you think.

[@gdes008]

The comments section in this video is much more balanced and palatable and non judgemental compared to most others. Speaks volumes of the calibre of people that gravitate towards this video 🤜🤛

[@Vizorfam]

Having kids now a days is a very costly dream along with not to forget time it takes raising them and addressing their needs is also challenging task

[@thehippie3610]

You can pay the bills ahead of time for cheaper cost lol

[@well-8814]

That's exactly why taking mothers out of the home was and will always be a bad idea

[@MrAnonymousIndian]

@@well-8814 may be with times to come, world would be that safer for women that it won't be different for them to be inside or outside.

[@well-8814]

@@MrAnonymousIndian We need to move to a new paradigm

[@Vizorfam]

@@thehippie3610 all i am saying is those who can afford and endure the upcoming challenges good for them but not every couple on our planet can do it successfully

[@chrisandlizsizemore8172]

As a parent, when I see couples without kids, I get jealous and bitter. I see all the money they save, the happiness they have with each other, the easier lifestyle with more freedoms to do what they want. It's not their fault and it may not even by choice, but couples without kids will never truly understand. People who call their pets their kids just piss me off, too. They might love their pets, but the difference in life changes and difficulty is astronomical. Being an uncle or aunt isn't the same. Babysitting kids for even weeks isn't the same. I love our littles, but honestly it made our lives way different and much much harder.

[@CordeliaWagner]

Seeing women like you struggle is the best contraceptive.

[@molekyyli]

Thank you for your honesty. I hope though, for you and your kids, you will still have a strong bond.

[@evab2274]

Don't be jealous and bitter. Everyone has their own struggles and problems, with or without kids. Instagram is not life. Some of those couples including my husband and I have not had children due to chronic illnesses / disabilities and other fucked-up reasons and are not precisely loving and enjoying life to the max. You never know what's going on behind closed doors, children or no children.

[@hanatemonstas4485]

@@CordeliaWagnerPlease dont dehumanize them like they are inanimate object, devoid of any experiences or feelings. I’m childfree too but this is just unnecessarily rude.

[@beaulieuc8910]

I am glad to be childfree by choice, just paid off my mortgage early. I like my home quiet and I cook meals whenever I want. I am not trapped to my partner if we split and I like my naps too. I have more time to do volunteer work and make a difference. My kids won't be misogynistic, go into crime too, not all kids are angels.

[@1life_Only]

Each to their own. The sooner we realise all 8 billion of us are unique in our own ways and none needs to follow a template of how to live, the better it is.

[@cammus]

Im 44 my wife is 42. No Kids. So much hapiness and fun.

[@N0STIC0]

Having kids it's like playing the game in the hardest mode. It's very difficult , but very rewarding.

[@SergeantColdgirl]

@S Khalili The transformative experience, as the narrator mentioned.

[@Winzrful]

I quit playing God of War when I couldn't beat it in God mode can I stop being a parent now?

[@beaulieuc8910]

there is no reward

[@SergeantColdgirl]

@@skhalili9001 No, a child is not a tool of the experience. They are in itself, an experience. As children rely on their parents to survive in their formative years, the social and bonding relationships are the tools that create those transformative experiences. Not just the child alone.

[@SergeantColdgirl]

@@skhalili9001 Depending on how you look at it, you can view children as pragmatically as possible or as optimistically as possible. That is what has defined upbringing of the future generations throughout the centuries.

[@ExploringManOfficial]

If I ever decide to have a child, I'll simply opt for adoption. That way, my wife won't have to endure the pains of labor, and I can truly make a positive impact on a child's life.

[@Echolyris212]

I love that I don’t have kids. I’m not selfish for not having them, I’m responsible. Responsible enough to know I don’t want them and shouldn’t have them.

[@Ravenelvenlady]

Excellent, helpful response. Thank you.🙏💖

[@spiderliliez]

I chose not to have any kids, I knew that ever since I was a kid.

[@R3Dske]

My wife had to have an emergency C-section and my daughter had merconium aspiration syndrome (inhaled first stool in womb) so she didn't breath at first. It was the scariest 10-20 seconds of my life. I could see the nurses and doctor getting worried. Then it happened, she cried the sweetest little cry! My wife was a trooper. I was more freaked out than her. But, having my daughter was the best thing that ever happened in my life and that was the single best day of my life. I will never forget her first little cry.

[@ocleadinlady]

Great example of the remembered happiness

[@iamjane9628]

Kids definitely won't make you happier when you are having them NOT by choice. 😥

[@mimishandle]

RIGHT!! Knowing the government doesn’t even provide every community with adequate health care (but if they have it, it is outrageously priced) and then poor education… some places still dont have clean water. In America. But they will tell us we have NO choice. Terrifying.

[@flamingaish]

you alright there?

[@loopperson8836]

@@flamingaish Why would they be. Females in the US are losing their rights.

[@Melcatsite]

Anna ou-

[@scottmedeiros5493]

Having children that's part of the reason why you have sex‼️ Sex is to bond and have children‼️ using a condom doesn't make any sense you're frustrating the natural act of having sex in the first place when you have sex you're choosing to have children ‼️

[@greenvocoder5522]

We chose not to have kids. We’re about to retire and we’ve never regretted our decision once. We’ve had so much fun and I can’t recommend it enough.

[@poochicachoochichick1207]

People will regret having a babies soon when they grow up. Babies willl regret living also in this evil planet.

[@drewsykes8152]

I enjoy having kids, especially coming out of the more challenging younger years, but it doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally yearn for aspects of my life before I had them or wish I could find more time to indulge in my hobbies and other relationships. I can totally understand people who don’t want kids but it does teach you so much, including about yourself.

[@PriyankitaPant]

I remember me asking my dad why did you have a child. His answer: it’s something people do. The boomers didn’t question too much.

[@swatisaini6447]

Thinking wasn't encouraged back then

[@JP-ve7or]

My mom, who came of age in the 50s, said that any time a married woman was unhappy, she'd be encouraged to have a baby to "give her something to do" 🫤

[@tcrijwanachoudhury]

@@JP-ve7or the good old days eh?

[@dmtdreamz7706]

Connecting with the joy of looking at beautiful things. This will make you fall in love with life. Like when i walk out of my house i look at trees, cars, the sun, the clouds, the desert, where I live. Even my own body. When I look at my own body I just get joy out of looking at the beauty of my own body. My body is a work of art. I can connect with that um. Just that alone is enough to create an amazingly fulfilling life.

[@molekyyli]

I wish I felt the same way...

[@dmtdreamz7706]

@@molekyyli Ecstasy is not just extreme pleasure. Ecstasy is the realization of immortality and the realization that everything is heaven. When you realize that, it's so good, it's infinitely good. It's not just good. It's good to the infinite degree. It's so much goodness that you can't contain it. your body can't hold it. Your entire body shakes and shudders in a cosmic orgasm of bliss. It's perfection. It's total peace. It's absolute love, that's truly ecstasy.

[@MeMe-bg8ci]

Since we force couples to basically raise their kids alone, it’s no wonder people are crap parents, hate parenthood, regret it, or chose not to have kids all together. We came from hunter gatherer communities who all helped raise each others kids but now we are all wage-slaves left alone in our mortgaged-till-we-die house.

[@DakshinNatak]

We need a support system to raise kids, it is a community activity, when I am away for work my parents and husband are at home looking after my son

[@ivaylovasilev4578]

To have kids or not is a personal decision. The most important is to be happy with your choice. Both options have their pros and cons.

[@Emiliapocalypse]

People put one foot down in front of the other just like their parents did without lifting their head to see if where they’re going is somewhere they want to be

[@invox9490]

I love kids, but I am always suprised how people decide to HAVE THEM giving the way how the world is going...

[@Phoenix56801]

Why?

[@Random17Game]

The world has never been a better place, it seems people don't know how bad things used to be before the 21st century

[@demitrijones6922]

@@Random17Game your life is a reflection of yourself. Poverty, homelessness, diseases, crime, domestic violence, childhood trauma etc. All in 21st cent. My question to you is, What planet are you on? You can't be on earth with that comment.

[@brittenyevans1101]

It's a personal decision to have children hun...and the world has always had problems...

[@npc7679]

World has never been a better place to have kids but ok

[@colleenmarin8907]

If someone is on the fence about having kids, they shouldn't. No one should live their life sensing/ knowing that they are unwanted/ inconvenient by/ to one or more parents

[@lovethyneibor22736]

Brother you are very wise ❤