Kids With ADHD & Arguing - How To Handle It | ADHD Dude

Do you get sucked into an "argument vortex with you son or daughter? Learn how to not get pulled into arguing with your child with ADHD.
𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲: 𝗔 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻, 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆-𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵. 𝗔𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.
𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗥𝘆𝗮𝗻 𝗪𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗹𝗯𝗹𝗮𝘁𝘁, 𝗟𝗖𝗦𝗪, 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗-𝗖𝗖𝗦𝗣.
👨‍👦𝗥𝘆𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗, 𝗮 𝗟𝗶𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗿, 𝗖𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗿, 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗-𝗖𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝘀.
𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲:
"𝗧𝗼𝗽 𝟲 𝗕𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁𝘀 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗕𝘆 𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗞𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗":
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𝘈𝘋𝘏𝘋 𝘋𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢, 𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘰𝘴, 𝘦𝘵𝘤. 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘛𝘶𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴, 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢, 𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭, 𝘦𝘵𝘤.
#adhd #adhddude #ryanwexelblatt

[@ejriffing9133]

Also - the thing that my mom does to get me to forget about the fact that I’m not getting what I want is that after she says no, she will say “why don’t you think of other things that you want that are on your mind because maybe I’ll say yes to that instead” and sometimes I end up with something else that is on my mind that I wanted. It really works for me.

[@ADHDDude]

That's great, it shows how far you've come! :)

[@TheCatsMeow101]

Thank you for sharing that. That's absolutely brilliant! As a parent, I'm going to put this to use!

[@punk.rock.hippie]

@@TheCatsMeow101it’s a great parenting trick I remember learning when my baby was growing up. Remember “distraction” is key!

[@AnastaAnam28]

That's brilliant! I'm going to have to remember this one! More importantly I'm going to send it to my husband. So he can use it with me 😅

[@judipierry549]

It is fabulous that you are working with your parents and that you are watching these videos for yourself as well.

[@beanybabyrabie]

I’m having this struggling with my little one right now. He’s under ten….. argues about EVERYTHING, even when he knows I’m correct like the simple spelling of an easy word or the direction of a letter. It’s sooooo frustrating I’m glad to see I’m not alone :/

[@ADHDDude]

Please check out the Behavior playlist, I think you'll find videos there that will be helpful.

[@carau7237]

The struggle is real 😅

[@diandralorena2903]

same here,my daughter is 7

[@my_set_apart_life]

Same same same! 😢

[@CyMari777]

Same here…. So frustrating

[@Cy4nSw4n]

"Because I said so" from my mom was one of my childhood pet peeves. I tried to avoid using it with my ADHD hyperactive boy, because I remember the inner rage I felt with that answer. (Not diagnosed ADHD but I wouldn't be surprised if I have inattentive type) But anyway... yeah... I might just need to start pulling this card with my boy. He's growing older and more logical with his counter arguments. The going in circles thing is making me have a whole new inner rage 😤

[@ADHDDude]

I'm with you, I don't like "Because I said so" either

[@adaharrisonn]

I know it's a while after this comment was made, but if it's still relevant or if you're still around to read this, here's something that I do instead of just "because I said so" that feels better both for me and kiddo. I always try an explanation first, and then after that I'll just do as you said where I don't answer the same inquiry over and over after I've made my expectations clear. But if it's something where they can't possibly understand my reasoning yet because they just don't have the mental ability to comprehend it, I say "baby, do you trust me to take care of you?" (They always say yes to this, if not then the whole conversation about whatever you're doing must be put aside right away to have a conversation about trust). After they say yes I say, "Okay, then right now while you're little I need you to trust that mama/daddy has a good reason to ask you to do this, and I wouldn't make you do something that wasn't good for you, so please do what I ask." In short form on arguments with less time for babble, I will abridge it to "Just trust me please," when they're fighting me on something. It's always worked for me, but it might not work for everyone. I like this more though because it gives them agency and the assumption that you know they're well reasoned enough to be able to trust higher authority even if they don't understand their reasoning. Trust is the KEY though. This prevents them just blindly following "because I said so" from just any authority figure.

[@autumnbeaulac6152]

This is a great reminder. I seem to get stuck when my son truly had a valid point because he's so gifted at arguing and conveying why he feels he should get his way. I need these reminders that his ability to reason doesn't mean he's right.

[@ADHDDude]

Often, I find that parents of intellectual kids who are highly skilled at arguing mistake their ability to form a compelling argument as maturity and rational judgment. Thank you for watching!

[@kim___]

Same!

[@ktwhimsy6946]

Yes! This is a great comment - although my kids are teens now and I wish I could go back and learn some of this stuff earlier, it’s still super helpful and this point you’re making here (or reiterating from the video) is exactly what I needed reminding of… it’s very difficult as a single mom of 2 ADHD teen boys as it is, but pile on the unfortunate fact that I also have ADHD and am self employed/work from a home studio (ie. Don’t have a whole lot of room in our shared spaces) and the arguments get pretty circular… at least they have decreased in occurrence as they mature & get older! (But perhaps have gotten even more sophisticated )… thankfully they are pretty darn good kids, or at least I think so compared to my own teen years 😅, so the arguments usually aren’t about big/heavy topics, more so little inconveniences like turning off the TV to clean dishes … I think being gifted at arguments is a common thing for ADHD’ers, either that or I just won the lottery with these guys 🙄😅

[@roxanne1092]

Same

[@roxiefarrow2142]

I appreciate this comment.

[@claudinefaye249]

Daily struggle w/ my 8 y/o boy. I usually say “ I’m not changing my answer” this helps a lot he likes the debate thing I told him maybe u will become an attorney later and use your debating then.

[@chrisdavidson8525]

Very good advice...listening to the first part of this video made me feel a shudder inside. I grew up with an undiagnosed ADHD brother and parents who didn't know how to respond to his demands and lack of perspective (nor did I as a younger sibling). Argument vortex indeed - just reels and reels of illogical shouting matches for several years. It's incredibly damaging and mentally draining. Nowadays I am a stepfather of a young kid...young enough to have that lack of perspective and maturity. The sticking to your answer and not getting involved in the spiral of trying to logic it out is an incredibly effective parenting tool even with a non-ADHD child. I'm not saying they won't try anything else to get their own way (they will, they are supposed to be pushing boundaries to test what is rigth and wrong!), but not getting involved with arguing and doing it consistently really will save you an incredible amount of stress and energy. Thanks for your succinct video.

[@ADHDDude]

You're experience is not uncommon at all, I appreciate you sharing this. Thanks for watching.

[@esiracastillo]

Omg! “Argument vortex that leads to nowhere.” perfectly said. The problem is with ADHD adults.

[@ADHDDude]

Yes, definitely a problem for many adults with ADHD as well.

[@flowerpower8722]

@@ADHDDude Yes. It can destroy relationships.

[@ae-hi9ls]

As the ADHD kid- I hate this advice lmao. But it’s probably “good” advice to parents. I don’t like it tho😂

[@ADHDDude]

I can understand why you wouldn't like it and appreciate your understanding 👍

[@DeclarativeLanguage-LindaKMurp]

This is great Ryan! I totally agree. I usually try to provide rationale at least 1x (or 2x if I think they didn't hear or understand me) BUT when they keep going, they are stuck and need help redirecting their thoughts. Silence and walk away, help or engage their brain in something different. I do this with kids I work with but also my sons! My pediatrician once gave me a great comment for my own kids when they are relentless: "Asked and answered." :)

[@ADHDDude]

Exactly!

[@loisdanes176]

This is sooo me. I have a hard time understanding that my kids cannot comprehend things I say even though they seem to use advanced language.

[@virgo8609]

This is exactly what I went through tonight these kids will make you wanna give up on everything in life...

[@ADHDDude]

Hang in there....and please check out the "Behavior" playlist at my KZbin channel.

[@jenbordenful]

You are God Sent!!! I found you at 4:30 am one morning when i could not sleep.

[@ADHDDude]

So glad you found the channel!

[@SENSEF]

Holy crap! It's 4:39am as I'm watching. 😆

[@goofball2228]

This makes so much sense. I have ADHD, and I am such a negotiator too! Like when I tried reasoning with my mom and explaining to her why I should be allowed to use my phone later at night.

[@ADHDDude]

Thanks for watching!

[@Nicole-vh8xf]

Oh my goodness! I had no idea this was an ADHD thing. My son has severe ADHD and he is known amongst our entire family as "the great negotiator". It's enough to exhaust even the most patient Saint. 🙄 It's such a relief to have a little bit of an explanation as to why he does this. 😅

[@ADHDDude]

Yes, it's very common :)

[@carau7237]

I'm in the same boat, i am very greatful for this advice I thought it was just me and am absolutely exhausted.

[@ArtisRyals123]

I’m dealing with this now. Everyday is exhausting.

[@dobycorder3206]

Same! Named him “the debater” as well as negotiator.

[@carau7237]

That is the best advice 👌 thanks you i am exhausted from this. I cannot wait to try this and get some of my brain back 😅

[@ADHDDude]

You got this!

[@natashaecharles]

Yes, perfect, one explanation and stay on point, don't get drawn in and sidetracked. I'm an expert at that. I was a parent coach after all. With this son though, the verbal abuse that follows a 'No' which has escalated to physical intimidation and a couple of times smashing things, I need more tools now.

[@ADHDDude]

I always say our professional experience doesn't mean much when it comes to our own kids. I have a section in Scaffolding Better Behavior, my Parent Behavior Training program called: Noise, Learned Helplessness and Emotional Manipulation. As well as one called: The argument/reasoning/negotiation vortex.

[@SmithWesson90]

Dont allow ADD or ADHD to be a scapegoat for your kids to Manipulatively and unaccountablly disrespect you. Dont get walked on by your children by having liberal boundaries with them. You are still their parent, and your home needs structure that must be respected with or without conditions like these. Have patience with you kids, but being disrespectful and talking back to your parents are not excusable because you are having an episode. This behavior has simply and Unexcusably become normal these days. By all means handle your families how you see fit but these kids are being diagnosed Left and right.. everyone cant have this same issue. Turns out some people and kids are just unaccountable and in denial of their actions so badly that when being corrected, they rebel and ignore you with immature defiance and hide behind "conditions." Of course adhd is real but there is a fine line not to cross imo.

[@ArshiKhan-nj6tb]

I just had a very bad reasoning vortex session with my 17 yo. And I was just searching for some good advice and found your video. It’s like God sent. Bless you for all the advices you have given, which are tough to follow but works in the long run. I am going to follow this. And my advice to other parents of year 12 students who have ASD as well, don’t transfer your anxiety to them. They are already stressed. If you can’t calm them, then don’t add to their stress.

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you so much and I appreciate you sharing that advice, it's very important for parents to hear it, I fully agree.

[@kindz]

Going crazy with the arguments... Logic is outta the window permanently

[@ADHDDude]

Yes, that's why I teach to not get pulled into the "reasoning vortex".

[@GeminianINTJ]

This was extremely helpful and I'm so grateful you spoke so specifically about this topic. I wonder if there is any benefit in letting my 20 year old see this as a way of discussion.

[@andreavalentine4609]

Great video! Do you have anything on getting your kid to DO something they dont want to do? Like get in the shower, get dressed, get in the car, etc. Trying to get them to actually DO something is sooooo much harder than just saying no to something they want. Thanks!

[@ADHDDude]

Yes I have several where I talk about persevering through non-preferred tasks.

[@samanthamills8285]

My go to response is "Asked and answered"!

[@unimarsh9212]

I appreciate you making these videos. I may know almost everything about my child, but when it comes to ADHD, I don't know as much as I thought I did. You've really helped opened my eyes.

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you so much for watching.

[@gaiawisekyra]

THANK YOU. my daughter just diagnosed (at 14) w ADHD Inattentive - WOW now the last decade has a whole different perspective. The endless associative-style arguments are a big part of this, especially in the past couple of years. Thanks for the specifics in this video. I am going to inhabit MY INNER PRESS SECRETARY and deliver!

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you for watching!

[@bacon_cool7100]

I thought my daughters adhd was misdiagnosed and has a mood disorder because she would get mad if we told no. Now I understand it’s part of the AdHD

[@ADHDDude]

Yes, it's based in difficulty with flexibility, which is part of exeutive functioning.

[@bdnesslady]

This is not bdnesslady speaking this their son. For me its not really about logic, it is more about rhythm and not wanting anything to change for me. But I also have severe O.C.D. Thanks fur das hilfe adhd dude tchuss!

[@ADHDDude]

That's a great point, I appreciate you saying that.

[@8964door]

Question: if she keep asking “why” ( I did explain that to her already) and follow you around just keep repeating asking why . She can go on this for hours. What can I do ? Thank you

[@ADHDDude]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/ipy6inp8nbCYbrcsi=y55zrGglPp_e1U9V

[@8964door]

Thank you

[@averiemaddox6493]

OMG yes.

[@lanaaristidou9796]

Well our son soon to be 15y old will get upset and bang the doors and break things with the simple no answer and explanation ... any suggestions on what to do in that kind of situation?

[@ADHDDude]

Yes, please check out the videos in the "Behavior" playlist. I also teach how to deal with this in Scaffolding Better Behavior & Self-Confidence, my Parent Behavior Management program in the Membership Site.

[@Lflordecoco]

I've done this sometimes. And then he gets angry and says we never listen to him. We don't care what he wants or thinks 😔 I do want him to know that I do listen to him, and at the same time he needs to obey.

[@ADHDDude]

That's called emotional manipulation. I cover how to respond to this in Scaffolding Better Behavior, my Parent Behavior Training program.

[@AddisynHoward-zi9tz]

I definitely have ADHD I am 13, and my grandma doesn't believe I have adhd, she keeps on saying you can't just assume you have everything in the world. If I get upset that she says no, she keeps saying no your not getting your way. Today I wanted to hold my brothers hand in the pool, and spend time with him. My grandma said no, your not gonna hold his hand, and then she said get off of him but she made me very upset because I just wanted to spend time with my brother. Then when I am doing something else besides something with my brother who is two she calls me lazy. I just want a normal life, and nothing works because my grandma just yells at me, no, and tells me that I am not gonna do this or that. Please give me tips to help with my adhd

[@ADHDDude]

Hi Addisyn, maybe you can show her the channel, it might help if she hears this from an adult who has worked with kids with ADHD for a really long time.

[@loralouiseabbott3666]

We use this technique with our 13 year daughter but she is relentless and follows us around demanding why, answer me, talk to me etc. No matter what we say or don’t say, she continues to get increasingly loud, agitated. We try not to engage. It’s exhausting and can go on for hours. How do we handle this situation?

[@ADHDDude]

I cover this in Scaffolding Better Behavior & Self-Confidence, my Parent Behavior Training program.

[@natashaecharles]

My son too. A 15 year old having full on raging then tragic suicide threats. All because his hour of minecraft is up. Daily, I might add

[@kavitasahal9861]

I was using this technique...and it used to work previously but now ...seems he is growing and managing his emotions are difficult..he chose to start using his hands and hitting instead of arugging.. any recommendations

[@JoannMorgan7392]

HI, This is was kind of helpful. I understood some. I have a 13 yr old ADHD daughter. When I tell her no, She will give alot of grief. From one extreme to another. I do correct her, like take electronics or privileges away. But at the moment it works. but she gets them back. its nothing ever happened. The highest extreme I have dealt with was I hate you, to threatning of harm, etc. and of course I dont tolerate it. I do punishments. But it goes in one ear and out the other. Her Dr is aware. Is anyone else facing this with an adhd child?

[@ADHDDude]

Yes, that's called "reactive parenting" and if you want her to change, you need to change you behavior. This is why parent training, not individual therapy is the recommended, evidence-based treatment for kids with ADHD. Parent Training is provided through the ADHD Dude Membership Site: www.adhddudecourses.com

[@Eatingdisorderhope]

Ryan - you are exceptional! Thank you for this great advice and wisdom! You are gifted.

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you I really appreciate it!

[@camillesneed5133]

Oh my! This is a daily situation in our home. Great advice for me , the mama. Thank you!

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you! 😄

[@babyquackquack]

Great video. My 14 yo son does the same. Like yesterday, he got his phone taken because of his attitude. OMG the end of the world, I need it for this and that, I want to know if my GF texted me on FB... I told him the reason and he has the right to not like it but nothing will change that, you deal with it or it can stay in my room for one more day. Since I saw another video I always use ''things are earn by making good choices'' you didn't make a good choice by ..... then you don't earn the right to use your cell phone. He hates when I say that ''ohh you're so annoying with that'', but it seem to work. Saying that its enough to cut the argument. I'm soooo glad about that short sentence '' things are earn by making good choices''.

[@ADHDResourceSpecialist]

I love circling back to your older videos when I forget!! Great reminder! :) Thanks always.

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you so much!

[@awildagerber8947]

Press secretary…that’s a great approach.

[@ADHDDude]

:)

[@grantpace2639]

Please remake, can’t hear you

[@ADHDDude]

Video is 4 years old, I have newer ones on the topic

[@nicolaiprowse3893]

Big challenge for us, my son is 5 and the meltdowns are rough.

[@christinerobbins9131]

Yes!! The "argument vortex" is a wonderful analogy.

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you!

[@km8085]

This is great advice, thank you!

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you!

[@diandralorena2903]

Most of the time i end up over explaining,even if are short....

[@michellekimker1906]

This is the most helpful information I have found on ADHD but need more on how I can help my 17 yr old son. Where do I find that?

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you Michelle! All videos are categorized into playlists so the best thing to do is search under the playlist for topics that might interest you. Also, please feel free to join the ADHD Dude Facebook group if you're not there already.

[@tonyvermeer7409]

After standing your ground on NO, how would you handle the "IF, THEN statement" child? "IF you're not going to let me, THEN I'll just ______.." (fill in the blank with some drastic action, designed to make the parents give in OR get attention). Examples: not go to school, not shower or brush my teeth, create a major disturbance, threaten destructive or violent actions,

[@ADHDDude]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/fXqzaYeEgcmHndEsi=Ol0kX4GQoButp4Vk kzbin.info/www/bejne/a5DGkHiVnpuClacsi=eONeGdlDKPzCqcjr

[@captaincrunch1062]

Catching up on these videos, everything is hitting the nail on the head. His ADHD along with ODD is not fun.

[@ADHDDude]

Glad you're finding them helpful and I appreciate you letting me know.

[@Coach_Julienne111]

Yes! Excellent advice! Thank you!

[@PollyPatriot]

Thank you!

[@ADHDDude]

You bet!

[@tokishagarrett2772]

Just came across this .. thank you great advice .

[@Crypto_Maxi]

Here is my issue with all the advise gurus out here. They never give you the “How” !!! So I have tried to deal with my child who is very intelligent therefore he thinks he knows everything. He will demand things sometimes but it’s little things. I demand you to leave my door cracked when I go to bed. Instead of asking! Or this here.. go use the bathroom,” I’m good, it’s my bladder”. Or when I get old enough I’m moving out! He just thinks he is entitled to something or he’s on the same level as me the parent! That’s what I can’t break! His inability to see that he’s THE CHILD and IM THE PARENT! So HOW do I deal with that. Or What do I do if none of the advice works, THEN WHAT!

[@ADHDDude]

1. I'm not an "advice guru"; I'm a licensed professional with extensive training in my field but I do agree with you. 2. I do tell people exactly what to do, which is why thousands of members of the membership site exist. 3. This video may be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qHvdoKOfn8p0eLMsi=I_AeQwDFj0xvfk7J

[@jaggedittlegirl]

Just under 2 mins in.... I am laughing way to hard not as its funny but you have described my 9yr old to a Tee... and what goes down when she perceives something a certain way but also I was like this as a child, kinda would go on and on with why/how till my Mother would lose her rag and yell "will ye just take no fur an answer!" I not diagnosed but am being sent for a face to face assessment... my school reports I've kept all this time have FINALLY came in handy for something!

[@ADHDDude]

Thanks so much for watching. :)

[@MrsTerrylm]

I've found the following phrase very helpful after Ive explained myself the first time and she continues pressing... "I have given my answer." Just leave it at that.

[@ADHDDude]

Great tip!

[@lorihunt2503]

I was just in this with my son.. its hard when he escalates yelling and acting out. Hes displaying classic odd. Age 7. Hes a love or the opposite. Its like walking on eggshells all the time.

[@ADHDDude]

Please check out the behavior playlist here at the channel.

[@SarahOMiller]

“Objection: irrelevant”

[@ADHDDude]

😁

[@BelliXedits0]

Thank you thank you thank you!!! This is PRACTICAL advice! Seriously thank you. Its like you were in my house watching our daily struggles.

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you, I really appreciate you watching.

[@catnhat44]

OMG...the vortex is a constant presence in my house.

[@ADHDDude]

Was in mine as well, until I learned the hard way :)

[@sierushest1991]

Over explaining can be mentally exhausting and cause mental fatigue. Having to explain every little detail. My child also found out that if he pretends not to know something he receives help or over explanation and then he starts humming when I try to explain and then I ask him if he was listening and he says yes but when I ask him to repeat he can’t remember what I was talking about.

[@ADHDDude]

In this video I explain the learned helplessness which you describe: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYWnZXh9n9-fhbMsi=VrYThbd32ZNOIYOQ

[@Maurgrym]

Wow. It's not just me and my daughter living through this. Thanks so much for the video. I am trying the distraction technique next argument. Don't like my buttons being pushed and becoming angry; doesn't help anything.

[@ADHDDude]

You got this!

[@judipierry549]

This is great advice for ALL children.

[@mariairfan9729]

I don't understand what do you say ,because I also a adhd mother. My son diagnosed adhd. Now he 's 12 years old. Can you send me in a written way.that can be understand me.

[@ADHDDude]

You can put in subtitles for videos on KZbin, I would tell you how if I knew, but I'm not sure.

[@Player13-j8x]

What if my 7 year old just starts screaming and using foul language when I say no? What should I do?

[@ADHDDude]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/ipy6inp8nbCYbrcsi=mvZYk3KeytRBrK3K

[@EmelieTh]

That's some really good advice! Thank you and God bless you. You're making a big differens.

[@ADHDDude]

I appreciate that!

[@aliasgirl9]

“Asked and answered”

[@ADHDDude]

One of my favorite lines :)

[@Serenity3822]

Thank you

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you for watching

[@diandralorena2903]

Yes,this is me and my daughter,i dont know what to do anymare.

[@ADHDDude]

Please visit the Behavior playlist here at the channel.

[@IloveJesusChristNowandForever]

Something that's been working for me with my child is just to say, "Less is more" when I'm not open for debate. It seems to sooth.

[@ADHDDude]

I like that. :)

[@salimaversi8499]

How to deal with siblings rilvary meaning the older ones and younger they are always fighting

[@ADHDDude]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/eprGpKt9rtaVoaMsi=l5MynhkMTJ8tC99-

[@Kimkasha77]

Thank you so much for this video. It made perfect sense and I will use your tips🙂

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you for watching!

[@mannyandmary]

I really needed that right now! Thank you!

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you for watching!

[@michaelmorton6566]

My one son with adhd argues all the time over every thing it pisses me off every day

[@ADHDDude]

You can make the choice not to argue. I have two recent videos about this on my channel.

[@anastasiiadevera3158]

Very helpful. I'm continuing to learn from this channel. Thanks so much!

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you for watching!

[@leighforgeorgia9612]

sIgH **not me on my moms phone ; )

[@CuriousBorg]

My six year old argues like he’s a Harvard educated lawyer.

[@ADHDDude]

Well it takes two people to argue :)

[@debrac1688]

" 'No'is a complete sentence"

[@Pipihehe]

This was helpful

[@ADHDDude]

Glad to hear it :)

[@jinneawan]

I have always been try to put as logical argument as possible and yes I am ALWAYS stuck in that vortex. Will try what you suggested and hope it works with my child. Thanks for the useful tips @ADHDdude

[@roxanne1092]

The arguing was horrible.if she did not think it was relevant, she would not stop no matter what.

[@ADHDDude]

It does require two people to argue. Her arguing doesn't need to be met with a response or attention. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aXmzaXauaLdorassi=_C8ilD2uonEh83O3

[@roxanne1092]

@@ADHDDude I was an Adult with undiagnosed ADHD and PTSD at the time. She is 30 now. I learned how to talk with her not argue. She argued over things while I was talking to her. I knew arguing with her was pointless and it would escalate. I would help her to calm down and then we talked.

[@DanasGardenRetreat]

At my wits end tonight … he debates everything and arguments daily about taking a showering

[@ADHDDude]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/a5DGkHiVnpuClac

[@DanasGardenRetreat]

@@ADHDDude thank u!

[@Crayon-l3o]

I really like the example of press reporter

[@ADHDDude]

thank you!

[@hildautria3851]

Thank you!

[@ADHDDude]

You're welcome!

[@KellyL973]

NOOO NOW MY PARENTS USE THIS ON MEEEEEEEE

[@ADHDDude]

Sorry :)

[@brothastogie5383]

Sharing this with my wife

[@ADHDDude]

Thanks for watching!

[@HouseKnowHow]

Thanks for the info. Much appreciated! May I suggest using a better microphone. The audio would be much easier to hear. Thanks.

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you, this videos is 4 years old, I've upgraded my equipment since then.

[@allie8442]

Asked and answered

[@ADHDDude]

There you go :)

[@BlueNJazzy]

Thanks coach

[@ADHDDude]

You bet

[@kamalar.5372]

❤ Thank you

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you for watching

[@reemqirsh1841]

Yes this was helpful That's exactly what im dealing with every day and the end of the day im really really tired

[@ADHDDude]

Absolutely, it's exhausting (coming from firsthamd experience).

[@dawnperry7066]

My son has terrible tantrums over video games and phone time “I’m bored!!” For extended periods of time

[@ADHDDude]

If you're a member of the membership site in Executive Crash Course Webinar 3 I teach how to help kids transition off of video games without a fight. If the Scaffolding Better Behavior series I teach how to change negative behaviors such as tantrums. If you're not familiar with the membership site you can learn more at: www.adhddudecourses.com

[@sierushest1991]

Thanks 🙏 ❤

[@jjgems5909]

It’s so draining how intelligent and yet immature my son can be lol. He can argue and debate a storm away and he’s only 6! And yet in other areas he is so immature. God give me wisdom lol

[@ADHDDude]

The sooner you stop getting pulled into the "argument vortex" the less he will argue. I teach how to not get pulled into it in Scaffolding Better Behavior, my Parent Behavior Training program.

[@alexiousthomas]

Iam exhausted and Iam trying to stop cussing and screaming I have even trying talking clam. the arguing back and forth I need help when I tell him to do something he does the opposite most of the time not always. He is a sweet kid he a gentleman and a helper but if I tell him to bring the ps4 out of his room because he hasn't clean his room or because I said so he will say no he will try to stop me and just wants to argue and I need help we both have adhd and anxiety and at times I feel like he tries to manipulate me he doesn't do to my husband he respect him if he tells him to do something most of the time he will and my husband doesn't have adhd or anxiety if he knows he around he will try no to argue with me

[@meghan2802]

So my son does this every day. He is 16 and so I do that tell him once and why. The problem is now if I remain quiet he freaks out. He threatens me, he throws things, he breaks things etc. What do I do then?

[@ADHDDude]

You don't give attention to negative behaviors that are meant to try to control you.

[@manishabocus668]

Thank you! From the gentle parenting groups, they always say to explain everything to your kid.

[@ADHDDude]

Yes, and to your point - there's nothing wrong with explaining things to kids, yet when explaining is not accompanied with clear limits & boundaries when needed, that's when parents undermine their own parental authority. I find that the gentle parenting approach is often misinterpreted as a justification for permissive parenting.

[@manishabocus668]

@@ADHDDude I understand. I’m still learning how to “master” gentle parenting. I would say I’m generally gentle, just struggle with the arguing.

[@mybootyholesitchy]

How do I do this with an adult lol... I’m not of authority in that case

[@ADHDDude]

Same premise :)