Kids with ADHD & learned helplessness -ADHD Dude - Ryan Wexelblatt

It's common for kids with ADHD to develop learned helplessness for a variety of reasons. Listen to my story of a 2nd grader who's well-meaning teacher is enabling his learned helplessness.
Hi, I'm Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW aka "ADHD Dude". I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, School Social Worker, Certified ADHD Clinical Services Professional and a Dad.
The ADHD Dude methodology is a modern, skill-building approach to treating ADHD-related challenges (behaviors, executive functioning, managing emotions and social skills for boys). I make videos for parents as well as kids. The videos I create for kids are in the "Dude Talk" playlists.
The content here is for educational purposes only. I am not serving in a clinical capacity with the content provided in these videos and cannot provide clinical consultation or advice through video comments, email, social media, etc.
👉If you're new to ADHD Dude please check out the "Start Here" playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLz...
👨‍👧‍👦The videos I make for kids are in the "Dude Talk" playlists: kzbin.info/aero/PLz...
👩‍👦There are also Dude Talk playlists by age group (elementary, middle, high school).
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I am the Founder and Director of ADHD Dude and Trip Camp. Please feel free to follow me on Facebook (ADHD Dude & Trip Camp) as well as Instagram (@theadhddude) and learn about my membership program at the ADHD Dude website: www.adhddude.com
#ADHD #ADHDDude #RyanWexelblatt

[@divineguidance9208]

I'm so happy I found this channel. My 9 year old son has ADHD and sometimes it's a real struggle

[@ADHDDude]

Glad you found it as well!

[@steveg4082]

It’s worth mentioning that children do not grow out of this on their own. So if you’re not asking for help in second grade, you’re unlikely to be asking for help in the 12th grade or in college or at work.

[@ADHDDude]

It depends, some do develop the intrinisic motivation to be independent and self-suffient, particularly if they are embarassed that their peers are more indendendent than they are. Asking for help has to do with executive functioninging, specifically recognizing you need help.

[@Destiny-we9gj]

Thank you for this. I feel so lost in how to help my son. He’s 6 and I just want direction so I’m helping rather than harming

[@ADHDDude]

Please check out the Start Here playlist as it's designed for parents new to this approach.

[@sofi6308]

My brother has severe ADHD and hyperactivity. As a toddler, he also had a few seizures. (That’s all i know about his condition since i dont know how to discuss this with my parents). He just started high school and he barely reads and writes (although he’s made a huge progress recently), much less knows any math. I am worried about him, but i don’t know how to help him. I want to be more than encouragement to him. I genuinely want him to succeed in life, but i really have no clue how to help him. I feel like the school he is going doesn’t help him either. They sometimes treat him like a baby or a full grown adult that “should know better”. We go to the same school so i see him pretty often and most of the time he is being told to pick up garbage, take out weeds hand out towels and to me that just seems so wrong. He still does math, english, science etc.. but its only for half of the day and the rest he is being prepared for employment ( I’m guessing that that’s why he’s picking up garbage but still i feel like rather than teaching him actual skills they’re teaching him how to be a janitor. As someone who deeply cares for him, that honestly gives me very little hope. Before i at least had hope that he would eventually learn, but right now i am actually wondering if he’ll ever learn basic skills or graduate even or get a job. I’m sorry for the long comment, but i just don’t know what to do. Maybe I’m getting impatient and too worried but i cant help but overthink about his future. I’m really worried.

[@ADHDDude]

Completely makes sense. Just an FYI-if he has an IEP in school he does not need to graduate at the end of 12th grade. Technically, he can stay in school until he's 21. His IEP team should be helping with transition planning.

[@monaann1018]

Oh wow, I totally agree..my 11 year old does this. He's totally fine with group work but when it's time to do independently, he's helpless..Thank you so much for this..I know now I'm on the right track❤

[@ADHDDude]

My pleasure, thank you!

[@edwardmitchell6581]

I'm almost 40. I have a very hard time focusing while working from home. My mother used to sit with me the night before projects were due or I'd study with friends. To this day if the room is completely silent and I don't feel someone's presence, it feels like something is missing. With all the talk of teamwork at school, I thought I'd find that in the workplace. Absolutely not true.

[@rpouncy]

Ryan, thank you so much for the information you've been sharing. It has been extremely helpful to me as a parent of a 16 year old son. I have learned a great deal from your platform. Thank you!

[@ADHDDude]

You are so welcome!

[@corrinejohnston4185]

Hi Ryan, I just got your membership class yesterday. My son is 17 and we have struggled everyday since kindergarten. My husband just realized that our son has ADHD. The biggest issue I have with my son is completing his school work. He is always failing at least one class at school. The other issue I have with him is he blames me for everything, he never takes any responsibility for himself or even tries to be accountable for him self. I am at the point I would love for someone else to parent him because I am at my end with him. My husband is trying but he has Huntingtons Disease and he is limited on how much he can help.

[@ADHDDude]

Hi Corrine I suggest you watch the section of Scaffolding Better Behavior called "Noise, Learned Helplessness & Emotional Manipulation". I think it will be helpful. You can leave questions/comments on any of the membership site webinars as well. Thanks so much, Ryan

[@jokulls]

Great video 👏👏😀 thank you

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you too!

[@pamelaputtre6014]

Thank you for the video. What would be the right term to describe a student that gets so frustrated when an effort for self advocacy ends in failure that he becomes obstinate about getting work done in the/for the class? Sometimes HS classroom teachers don't honor IEP language for extra time etc, or treat an ADD student like he is lazy and doesn't try. By the time he gets to HS he is just "done" with adults like that and b/c he lacks good emotional regulation to just move on. I've just watched many of your videos and I can't seem to find an answer to this.

[@ADHDDude]

Then I would suggest he speak with his case manager at school.

[@elenamindel8616]

My 8 year old is exactly like this though he's great with advocating for himself. The problem is with not doing work unless someone is with him. Do we just let him fail? That would be the result if we're not sitting with him. Thanks for all of your great videos!!

[@ADHDDude]

I would suggest watching my most recent video on homework and learned helplessness. Click on "Uploads" and you'll see it. I would encourage you to not think about this as "letting him fail", rather helping him to improve his executive functioning and resiliency to persevere through non-preferred tasks.

[@erichakemm8815]

Hi Ryan, thank you so much for doing these videos and your webinars! I'm a private teacher and Dyslexia specialist. How would you approach self-advocacy for a student who has ADHD and Dyslexia and Dyscalculia with something like Math word problems in a 1-1 environment?

[@ADHDDude]

Thank you for watching. That's hard for me to answer without more details or speaking to the student myself.

[@dkillian08]

How do I teach this? My little guy is 8 and would like to teach these skills sooner rather than later.

[@ADHDDude]

It will be addressed in my upcoming Parent Behavior Training program, Raising Great Dudes which will be available at the ADHD Dude membership site.

[@3dreamsequence]

How would you introduce/teach the self-coach talk to a 4-5yo?

[@ADHDDude]

That's a great question, I wouldn't because it's too much of an abstract concept to understand and because kids don't become aware of it until about 6

[@nishaworsham5372]

So is it ok for your son to sit in the front because he’s less distracted? Or because the teacher sees if he needs a little time to finish what he is doing?

[@ADHDDude]

I'm not sure what you're asking in regards to this video, sorry.

[@NagaJahnavi]

How can we get your appointment to speak to a student ??

[@ADHDDude]

Please see: www.adhddude.com