Kourtney Calls Kim a Narcissist: Don't Make This Mistake!

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@sylviadonoghue2195]

Accusing a narcissist of being a narcissist is like accusing a shark of being a shark. If you are in the water and a shark comes after you, telling it to stop making everything about itself and respect your boundaries is pointless. The only answer is to get out of the water and stay out.

[@ixizn]

I get it’s a metaphor and a good one at that but even then my first instinct was like “don’t compare the poor sharks to such evils” 😂

[@jamespenn5788]

Lol!!!

[@yang7436]

Exactly. But I personally always call out the narcissistic behaviors and warn the people in some way.And of course things Dr. Ramani mentioned in this video happen ,but I do it anyway.I don't mind paying the price to reveal the truth and I find normally the narcissistic people would avoid you if you have enough authenticity and believes in yourself and show zero tolerance of the bullsh*t .

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

Exactly you don't have to tell narcs they are hurting or have hurt you, just cut them off and act as if they never existed

[@diianagaiitan1769]

Omg I LOVE THIS METAPHOR❤️❤️❤️❤️🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@LXSeaV]

You know what? When you actually accept what these people are once you realize it, it actually is pretty straightforward how to manage them. The hard part is getting through the grief of your hopes and expectations of this person being capable of more as a human being. There's a lot of resistance to that grief, but on the other end of it is acceptance and feeling on a way more even keel. It's not that these people aren't annoying or problematic anymore, but you stop being blindsided and devastated as often because you keep your expectations of them in the gutter.

[@stoptheinsanity]

Sooo true! Once I understood what was happening it was much easier to shut the crazy making down.

[@ollia]

True. Also getting to think about other things in life instead of the narc is easier once you accept it for what it is.

[@Mike-ce6vr]

I 100% agree with you.

[@serena1261]

Great point!!

[@lspa9333]

The grief is real, and it’s painful to accept that they are not who you thought they were, and they never will be. Once you do accept it, things start to make more sense as you look back on the relationship. The feelings of loneliness, depression and isolation were a result of how you were treated, they’re not the reason the relationship didn’t work. But, they will try to convince you that you were the problem to avoid taking any blame themselves. It’s because of people like Dr. Ramani that I finally understand the confusion and unhappiness I’ve experienced.

[@mar4440]

I made this mistake. I told my husband he had all the traits of a narcissist. He got all the books on it and set ME up as the narcissist. He didn't know what gaslighting was, so he saw the movie. They do their homework and flip it all back on you.

[@blended2010]

That is so truueeeee

[@vanessabuchanan4691]

I did the same and him and his mother accused me of being like them. Tried to set me up to show people that I did what they did in their past. They have a lot of family secrets.

[@kellithomas4737]

They definitely do their homework!! My ex started coming clean to me and his exes and telling them why he was the way he was towards them. He said "I built myself up in protection mode so I wouldn't get hurt anymore." He used that as a reason for why he ghosted them or the relationship didn't progress....Then goes on to apologize to them for his behavior. Pathetic. He became a professional apologizer, but no real change. Just learned to alter his behaviors to suit his needs.

[@vjo2529]

​@@vanessabuchanan4691same thing happened to me the exact same thing the whole family was narcissistic and when I found out all of their secrets the mom started having a relationship with his ex and basically kicked me out the wife and welcomed the ex in the family after everything I do for her children and grandkids they started rumors about my treatment of her said I don't like her just to keep people from believing the truth I am slowly telling my grown children their truths because I hate all the secrets but some are still too sick to tell them

[@lillianconstantine6287]

I hope he is your now ex husband

[@mer_5]

the kardashians are a case study in narcissistic family systems. i watch the show purely for that reason - it has helped me understand my own narcissistic family much better. kris and kim are possibly some of the most notorious narcissists out there in the media. kourtney is the family scapegoat, and it’s so interesting to see how she’s handling it (sometimes very well!). the other sisters are flying monkeys/narcissistic enablers, particularly khloe.

[@bevhills4877]

“the kardashians are a case study in narcisstic family systems”… So are the Trumps

[@daisyadele967]

​@bevhills4877 I don't agree, I think the Trump family is one of the nicest, rich families out there. The media likes to constantly make them out to be something they aren't. Just watch old videos of them, and you will see how everyone use to like them and appreciate them. It wasn't till he ran for president that everything changed.

[@shinebabyshine.]

@@bevhills4877I think Trump's family is beyond narcissism, possibly a long line of sociopaths

[@kelrogers8480]

And ironically, the Bidens are a case study in narcissism. It's called "Trump Derangement Syndrome" for good reason.

[@hollystiener16]

Actually Kourtney is the most narcissistic.

[@jamespenn5788]

A narcissist is your enemy, they do not love you. I found the best thing to do with a covert enemy is to NOT let them know you know. Especially if you plan to escape and go no contact with them. Narcissists can be very very dangerous.

[@mday3821]

Very good advice! Coverts are the worst.

[@user-th3ez5sj9y]

I let mine knew, and just stepped away, am I in danger ??

[@thewhitewizard1320]

One thing to keep in mind: they will usually first accuse you of what they plan to do themselves ! So if they will for example say: I'm afraid he will murder me, it is time to run ....@@user-th3ez5sj9y

[@devikrishna.s.r7570]

​@@mday3821They are the perfect examples for the adage "A wolf 🐺 in the 🐑 sheep's clothing ".

[@devikrishna.s.r7570]

​@@user-th3ez5sj9yMaybe because you can never predict their next move because you are only aware of the fake persona of them. You don't really know them, their real character and what they are up to. This can be a dangerous situation for you. Take care ♥.

[@AromaticSympathy]

There could be a whole case study series on this family starting with the matriarch, Kris.

[@ilmari23]

Ive seen many comments saying Kris is the one to blame and that she has set the sisters to be in competition and not like each other and it definitely makes sense

[@joanna0988]

​@@ilmari23Yes I think it started in childhood. Kourtney was the smart one and Kim was the pretty one.

[@jokendrick2124]

I'm not sorry to say that I cannot watch shows with such shallow vapid content as the Ks. We only have 1 time around on this earth and you can't get that time back. Hard pass.

[@ixizn]

I was pretty surprised when I saw Dr Ramani did an interview with Kendall Jenner that one time about anxiety and she had a lot of praise for her afterwards. That whole family is like a major example and part of narcissism in our culture and how it’s seen as something to strive for. I totally believe the Dr when she says she doesn’t watch the show but I’m still curious what her true thoughts on that family would be, even if I know it’s not her thing to comment on real life people directly so we’ll never know lol

[@RayneyKayLa]

Grand Narc Kris. 🎯 BINGOOOOO

[@Chris-tg3qy]

I called out a coworker as narcissistic because of all of the crazy things she did. I was a new employee that she felt threatened by and the last thing she did sabotage my work by withholding documents. It was definitely the last thing she did because I documented everything. She was shown the door, but my reputation never really recovered. In many people’s eyes, I am the person that had a conflict issue.

[@FutureFendiFsnista]

Don't you just LOVE when that happens 🙃 I'm so sorry that you endured all that from this person. You didn't deserve that. I hope with time people will open their eyes

[@Byebandit50]

I wouldn’t be so down if I were you. They fired her, so they probably have a better impression of you than what you think.

[@JoyFay]

Sadly we don’t like the victim either. Such a shame on society.

[@stacyjaye6350]

​@@JoyFayTHIS! That was highly insightful, and most certainly true!

[@artifundio1]

​@@Byebandit50yes, at least the people in HR and higher (the guys who decide on your contract and job security) do have a better impression. Sometimes work mates must be ignored...

[@Raeth28]

"They can do what they want, you can do what they want" -- a narcissist's fantasy in a nutshell

[@PinkyToe]

So true!!!

[@missliz85]

👏

[@sushmayen]

They're absent when you need them the most. Getting agitated by them is like getting angry on the wall. Save your energy and don't call them the narcissist

[@JM-vj7we]

Just get them out of your life!

[@lunamoth7044]

Yup, it's nothing more than a waste of time and energy.

[@sudhakhristmukti1930]

They want to be absent cause they don't care.

[@faridamohamed1055]

They will work double time to make you feel insane and you'll feel worse at the end.

[@Urcinamongurl]

Well it’s not narcissistic ppl fault they are one

[@mickeyimmanuel]

I completely agree. It’s a complete waste of time to call people out.

[@magisterhpp]

Better let them ruin the world and murder you and your family in some unthinkable horrific way. What is life worth anyhow ?!

[@annjohnson8437]

Yup! They will never acknowledge their issues.

[@thenarcissistanalyst]

I totally agree! Wasted time and energy....

[@jenamirgholi6004]

ya it is. People do it because they been cheated and exploited. Men and their greed. Do you think that is the worst disease because greed is the root of all evil. Greed is manipulation and manipulation stems from the devil. Lucifer a male who again the ego caused the grossness of the planet.

[@Kharizmah]

I feel like anyone who is really dealing with a high level narcissist would be too exhausted to want to create any more friction by calling them out.

[@lucia3]

Another important thing: don't mention that another person is a narcissist in front of somebody who haven't figured it out by themselves. Not even when you have the best interests in mind, and want to save them. It will turn against you.

[@cairosilver2932]

There has got to be some way of unionizing on this. Narcissists rely on a divide and conquer model where nobody talks about the narc/the problematic person.

[@davidsalo8397]

Labeling someone is not important. What's important? Doing the right thing. No contact if possible. Your actions speak way louder to them. That's about all they can "understand".

[@cairosilver2932]

I think people talk about labeling in the negative when they treat it as not being based on evidence and just mean spiritedness.

[@dragonmagick2176]

I definitely learned this truth the hard way. But I did learn, so with the new set of mutual friends, I said nothing and they figured it out without the extensive damage as previously.

[@tothetable1867]

It's like the Matrix. You can't trust anyone until their unplugged.

[@40yearoldpirate]

The fact that the word narcissists is becoming mainstream is an encouraging sign that perhaps the impunity that they enjoy is about to be obsolete

[@PinkyToe]

Or better yet, ostericized. Cancel all narcs.

[@deed2157]

It won't be Bec the aware high range narcissists has an impeccable facade so if it will be hard to expose them. Then there are people who are still unaware about who narcissists.really are despite info out there. There are also those that just label anyone as a narcissist if they do something narcissistic which isn't a good way to go either.

[@kmoyao50]

No they will mirror it back to their victim or call them a covert narcissist.

[@a.d.8827]

Nah it's only turning it into a buzzword

[@kephrenh]

The problem is more and more people who are not narcissistic are actually labelled so by people who are actually narcissist

[@ange8110]

I have a narcissist sister. I called my sisters out. She cut me off. It ended up being the best thing. And I got to say it. The peace in my life since is amazing. The lies and the hate and toxicity GONE!!! Only thing that make me sad is. My other sisters are to scared to tell her they see and speak to me!!! She abuses them if it slips they talk to me or catch up with me. At first it hurt. But now I understand because I know who my narcissist sister is. Its sad. She said she never wants to speak to me again. And I know she means it. It’s still the best decision, her cutting me off. Bye toxicity good bye drama goodbye lies and manipulation

[@shaymay2892]

good for you. 😊

[@stayblessed584]

I also have a narcissistic sister. She doesn't talk to me either and it's her way of trying to make me feel rejected. I actually don't care anymore. It's sad people have to be like this. My other siblings and I get along great - we love being around each other. She's the only one with a problem.

[@realm0of0darkness]

I told my sister she was a narcissist, and then she copied me saying she wanted nothing to do with me. So I decided never to speak to her again, and when she tried to after that I told her "I don't speak to you" and haven't spoken to her in two months. There is no point in interacting with someone that goes back on saying they want nothing to do with you for no reason. They just want to keep in an endless cycle of abuse and never listen to what you say.

[@RationalNon-conformist]

stayblessed584 - just because you get along with your siblings, doesn’t mean that you guys are the good ones and she’s the one with the Problem. You guys could seemingly get along but there’s toxic gossip, etc. I left my family and was the scapegoat for years, but they all still speak, so I’m the one with the problem, right? Not so fast!

[@looks-human]

That's a power play your sister cut you off in an attempt to hurt and manipulate you... it failed but that's what she's doing.

[@millyscott6762]

I called my narcissistic sister out,and it was the best thing I have ever done.I went no contact and I have peace like I have ever known!!

[@trustmemysonisadoctor8479]

Same here, it was the best thing I have ever done.

[@ReadyorNot811]

Same with an ex!

[@tattlevixen2581]

Same here with my narc sister also, 4 years NC and counting 🎉 peace like never before

[@HolisticandWhole]

Me too 😊

[@Ms9mmBeretta]

I think the main point here to look at is, if you must call out a narcissist, be ready to cut them off completely when you do. So whatever retaliation they may try to enact won't touch you.

[@BeingLifted]

Yep ... calling out a narcissist is a rookie mistake. We're all rookies at some point.

[@CoolestRedHead]

Yes❤

[@SuzannaLiessa]

Omgoddess, yes.

[@rhino1876]

Literally my mom 😭 I’ve learnt not to bring it up.

[@annward7794]

@@rhino1876ugh me too! 😫😮‍💨 Big mistake. Huuuge. 😂

[@amkali24]

@@annward7794 why is it a mistake? because you wont get what you want out of them? im confused as to you need to be scared of those pieces of trash? walk on eggshells is what this doctor is telling u to do..

[@cc1k435]

You can't make an impact or an impression on a narcissist by interacting with them anyway. They only pay attention when you minimize or deny them contact. There is no normal relationship to develop here because they just can't hold up their end of the deal.

[@beth8275]

Spot on.

[@fayepatrice1672]

Best comment. I saw the pattern when I came across some old messages between me and my ex husband. He had these long diatribes about what bothered him about me (seriously at least a 1000 words in each message). I would just send something like “noted” as a response. Because the second I engaged with him, it turned into days of criticism and monologuing about how I don’t take accountability and I’m no angel either and how he lies and cheats but so what, I need to change too. The only appropriate response in his mind was me doing exactly what he wanted me to do - which was always unreasonable. Things like getting a tummy tuck, having sex on demand or spending 3 hours everyday cooking his dinner. No exaggeration. These were his complaints. Any other response triggered so much drama that it wasn’t worth it, *and he wasn’t listening anyway* .He would ignore my actual response and diverge into what he really wanted to get at me about. It was like an opening volley for the real aggression to start, not a genuine attempt to engage with me. I am so thankful to be out of that relationship.

[@Iuxveritatis]

You’re absolutely right. After Kourtney said ‘you’re narcissistic’ Kim immediately tried to put Kourtney’s friends and even children against her

[@pinkforeverlove1]

Yep - classic narcissistic triangulation

[@GlynisMarthinussen.]

She is narcissistic and that phone call triggered so much for me. Kim literally weaponised Kourtney kids and her friends against her. I’m that moment I realised is actually is full blown narcissist. Then asking if she is happy which everyone knows and can see that she is very happy.

[@RayneyKayLa]

Girl YES!! She tried to play so concernedddd.....then the claws came out to triangulate her using her kids and friends. Now how would Kim feel if someone said that about her kids with Kanye? She's talking shit to Kourt---then switches it up and asks if she's happy LOL Kourt is the scapegoat, Khloe is the flying monkey, and Kris is the grand Narc.

[@usernameisunavailable8270]

​@@RayneyKayLaI'm surprised all of them didn't turn out to be narcissists growing up in that family.

[@Lou98910]

​@@usernameisunavailable8270 I'm not. Kourtney has clearly always been the scapegoat, Rob and Khloe both appear to be the lost child, Kim and Kylie are the golden children. The narcissistic family dynamic is very clear.

[@cynthia-jo1zz]

It's called gaslighting 101.... Look how calm she was, look how she turned things around to make Kourtney the problem.. it is maddening for someone who goes through it especially that you have the conversation knowing very well you have been wronged,and you are stating your facts.all of a sudden bullets out of no where will come at you and usually because you are sweet and innocent you stay confused because you didn't see it coming

[@beautiful1423]

@@RayneyKayLaexactly 😢😅😅😂😂😂😂

[@mechaslav8520]

At first I was vulnerable because I am autistic but now I have advantage for the same reason. I have no problem filtering people out of my life when I notice these tendencies and generally do after only one or two of the signs showing. I just had to learn who I should spend my emotional energy on.

[@shinebabyshine.]

Same. I also use this to my advantage because people think I'm dumb or at the very least, not as aware as I actually am, but am always taking notes.

[@MysteryGrey]

Same here!

[@njay4361]

Same!

[@danitori3452]

I think that autistic people are the best at cutting off narcissists later in life. We are so burned from our first encounters with a narcissist we see all the signs and immediately disengage.

[@mechaslav8520]

@@danitori3452 That’s what happened to me. Lived with one.

[@ThatMontanaMom]

It is SO true that calling a narcissist out WILL backfire. After I left my violently abusive ex, and started learning about the narcissistic aspect of DV, I tried to call him out. Not only did he turn it around on me, ANY TIME my reactivity got triggered by his abusive mentality and I said something in anger he would tell me I was the abusive one then use it to shore up HIS victim mentality that was part of his own abusive personality! It was an absolute mental and emotional roller coaster for me at a time that was the last thing I needed.

[@msjannd4]

Same for me, but it was my father, who decided to spread lies about me.

[@cc1k435]

Absolutely true. They already spend their time trying to trigger you so they can shout you down to the ground anyway. It's a waste of time and energy, and they aren't really listening anyway.

[@Queenieb03]

@@msjannd4i feel this one. Mines my mother. She’s the biggest victim I’ve ever met.

[@zg6045]

Exactly. They use every word you say and turn it around against you. And then even telling me that I heard that from him first and I just copy his words. So telling him made it way worse. Its driving me nuts!

[@TheOrignalTRockz]

What frees you is to go through the grief and see them for what they are - children grew up thinking it was their fault, it was in the ihr power to control the abusive behavior- by complying. Get over the need of complying and distance yourself from their triggers. Only, if you can get to that level, you can get over it.

[@jilllegray9853]

So glad, at least, narcissists are being exposed!! And empaths, truthtellers will be more armed with knowledge ❤❤❤

[@jenamirgholi6004]

influencing without reacting is an art .

[@c1nicolei]

but I sure bet Kourtney felt good letting the world know what everyone already knew.

[@Queenieb03]

This is too true. I’m fighting a family of narcissists. The one thing I learned is you have to play hard ball. Bring ALL the facts to the table, so this person has no leg to stand on. A true narcissist will never own being one, they will always reflect it back onto you. Remember, they’re playing checkers not chess.

[@SweetUniverse]

My mother was narcissistic & had severe control issues. She didn't care what anyone else wanted, about boundaries, or what someone's opinion of her was.

[@bethhollingsworth]

Same here. Pretty sure my father was a "vulnerable" narcissist too so he'd just let her do whatever she wanted.

[@Caroline26B]

I would beg to differ with you on the "she didn't care what someone's opinion of her was". To a narc how they are perceived by an outsider is indeed very important. That is why they have such an efficient mask in public. I dare you to tell in public about a narc that that person is a narc (while the person you are talking about is present), you'll see how they will react to that. They don't care what their closest family think (like husband/wife or children, because he/she wants to control them), but they do care about how everyone else sees them. They will try and flip it on you. And if an outsider tells them that they are a narc, they will no longer talk to that person, because that person is "delusional, mean, vulgar, ... " . That is how much they care about what an outsider thinks about them. My mother is the same. She screams she doesn't care about what other people think of her, but I cannot count the times she said to me "don't put that on FB, people don't need to know". A narc is the most hypocritical being on this planet. I gave my father a special trip to a Nordic country as a birthday present, she wasn't invited, because I know that she doesn't like trips (due to the control issues) and would not appreciate a trip in minus 25°C, she played victim as she could not understand why I hadn't invited her, "she (that is me) could have at least asked me", but she forgot that a year before that, she invited my sister on a trip and not us (I wasn't hurt, because I would not have gone on a trip with them, they went to a country where I have already been a couple of times, I prefer a more active kind of trip and I certainly do not want to go with my mother and father on a trip, no thanks). So it's okay when she does stuff, but when someone else does that same kind of stuff, those people are mean. 😂

[@thewhitewizard1320]

I know 1 more reason why it's never a good idea to call a narc out: They can be quite dangerous !

[@hikerhobby1204]

So true! You can see their eyes change into that black mode. Scary!

[@thecustodian1023]

And that is how they keep wining. Nobody will put in the effort to hold them accountable for their actions.

[@hikerhobby1204]

@@thecustodian1023 I’m not challenging a Narc. I value my life. I made it to be a 65 year old grandmother and plan on being here for a while.

[@thecustodian1023]

@@hikerhobby1204 I'm sure their next victims will be totally understanding of your move, just as you are for the same choice all the victims ahead of you had made for having passed it on to the next person down the line rather than fight back and end the cycle.

[@hikerhobby1204]

@@thecustodian1023 You can have your opinion. I’ve been tossed across the room by a Narc. Please know what you’re talking about when talking. Thank you!

[@KingMark33]

Dr Ramani, we absolutely love you. I mean I can’t speak for everyone but you have legit changed my life. I cried when I learned about narcissism simply because I finally got validation that there isn’t anything wrong with me. I adopted the idea from my family. Deep down inside, I’ve always thought my mom was the problem. Thank you so much for breathing life into me again.

[@RealLadi228]

Touche

[@godsavethecoffeecake]

The overhead lighting, the new camera set up!!! I am here for it Dr. Ramani!! Thank you for continuing to call this out. Too many people don’t realize it’s a grave mistake to call out a narcissist. It never goes well. I just keep that information to myself and observe, learn, arm myself with coping mechanisms, etc. it’s really all we can do because 99% of narcissists do not agree with the label or seek out help.

[@wandahoward-holmes4825]

Yes, the new look is stunning and inviting. Dr. Ramani also looks amazing. Most importantly is what she has given to all who have been educated by her expertise. What a great service and contribution to our world. Thank you for sharing and teaching so that we can learn to make sense of these topics.

[@lizelliott2169]

I did call out a narcissist for being a narcissist and I felt free after that! The only revenge I got from that narc was being ignored ! Fabulous! 😃

[@trustmemysonisadoctor8479]

Same, the silence from them is GLORIOUS!!!!

[@onyxvault]

agreed thankfully!

[@bellaluce7088]

My narc ex-friend once told me that a therapist had said she thought she could be a narc. I didn't understand the significance at the time, but years later the term came up when I was googling the issues I was having with her. When I GENTLY brought it up to her as a possible path to healing some of the ongoing issues in her life, she of course gaslighted me that she'd never been told that. What a different and better life she could have had if she'd just been willing to do the work all those years ago!

[@milenka7967]

sadly there is no path to healing narcissism, in therapy they just learn how to better keep up the facade

[@babysab8013]

Her life is not your problem and concern, your life is. I wouldn't waste a single thought on those people

[@bellaluce7088]

​@@milenka7967 I get why people are so adamant that narcissists are incapable of change---hope can be *harmful* when it keeps us stuck in bad relationships. But it's simply not true that there's no healing path for narcissists. Treatment/healing can be different from cure, and doctors don't tell diabetics to just skip the insulin and eat as much candy as they want. Given the harm narcissists do to others, I want to see a second wave of narcissism awareness that 1) continues to highlight the harm they do and their *resistance* to change, 2) emphasizes the benefits to THEM of doing the work to improve (more calm, more resilience, less reputation damage and abandonment due to bad behavior, etc.), 3) makes it clear they have a RESPONSIBILITY to change if they want the perks of being around other people.

[@deeh5126]

I love how delicately you handled this without getting into the mire of the Kardashians. You stayed neutral!

[@reneeflamand8991]

I love that Dr. Ramani addressed this. Everything she said as always is truth. Also, the adjective narcissistic isn’t the same as having narcissistic personality disorder. If they do indeed have the disorder, being called out could send them into a rage. Be careful. If you know someone who is self centered, then call them that, but the word narcissist should truly be reserved for those with the dysfunction, as we’ve come to now know how much is involved with it. It’s a serious thing to call someone this.

[@lunamoth7044]

Yup, makes sense to me.

[@annjohnson8437]

Exactly!

[@user-qy2kd8os1y]

I believe that the personality disorder should be called differently, the axis of this disorder is tyrannism.

[@knowtruth2773]

Yes it is Very Serious. I refer to other people who aren't good for my life as Toxic, not narcissistic.

[@lunamoth7044]

@@knowtruth2773 Yup, not all toxic people are narcissistic.

[@India865]

Today you can embrace kindness, practice compassion, stand up for justice, talk to strangers, ask for help, offer hope and listen with your whole heart❤️

[@hotfudgecake]

I called out my mom for being a narcissist and pointed out all the things she did in childhood that hurt me ... thinking it would be healing or we could resolve things .... oh big mistake . Big. Lol She deflected, got defensive, angry, flipped the script, shiftedthe blame to me, and ultimately I ended up feeling far worse about myself ... didn't accomplish anything with her...she didn't just magically say "oh really? Im sorry If I hurt you, " like I expected. Lmao. Oh no it was the total opposite and I just hurt myself yet again having expectations that my mother could be a normal caring mother

[@flagirl0315]

Yes it’ll turn into they are the one suffering and the victim and how dare you lol

[@lauravanzilen8599]

I did the exact same thing and got the exact same reaction. I was shocked.

[@kaamnan5672]

So true, I almost called out my narcissistic parents today. When I started saying how they make me feel, it was quickly brushed aside by how bad they have it in their lives quickly dismissing my feelings. That was a wake-up call for me to remind me there is not an iota of empathy to be found in narcissists. So I quickly backed out from the escalated situation. Thanks, your videos are making such an impact in my life.

[@babysab8013]

they can also be in denial, most parents don't like to hear they were bad parents

[@la6136]

This is my mother. If I even hint at a bit of criticism she screams like a toddler and starts acting like a drama queen. And then she is confused why I don’t spend any time with her.

[@flagirl0315]

Yes every time you call one out it turns into how they are the victim and you feel mind boggled bc they expect you to apologize for calling them out

[@persnickety369]

Calling it out is like throwing kerosene onto a lit candle. They'll burn the house down! Not worth it. 🚫

[@tommyrex7632]

When ppl say “narcissistic is an overused word” they don’t realize the overwhelming amount. Thank you for the awareness Doctor.

[@JB-do2ru]

I called out my now ex a narcissist before blocking him, and I never heard from him again ! Best thing I ever done!

[@GGVanilla]

After 17 years of being the scapegoat I finally had it and called out the matriarch of the family out on *some* of the times she had acted narcissistically. I was careful with my wording, I tried to stick it facts … but all she did was grab the information, bend it into a pretzel where she was the victim and I was the perpetrator. I realized what was happening and I just stopped. I only said about 15% the things I wanted to say and I quickly saw all it was doing was confusing me. Because I have empathy and I WANT to see things from her perspective… It’s just never going to happen is it? They’re just never going to take responsibility and say sorry. Never care about the pain and turmoil they inflicted? It makes me so deeply sad. I feel like I stepped into a giant void.

[@Kat-zh7ew]

Perfectly stated! These toxic people are expert at crazy making. They are so good at twisting truth so they can be the victim.

[@deed2157]

The narcissism is a defense mechanism so it's protecting them. So they see through a distorted reality. it's deflect, dismiss and/or deny no matter what you point to them. The low to mid range onea are unaware of what they are and all their reactions are instinctual guided by the narcissism. Only the high range are aware what they are but that doesn't help. Even though the mid range unlike the low range can see that their actions hurt you they will blame shift. They will see that you made them react that way. To say sorry would mean to take accountability. To admit fault would mean they are flawed which would shatter the perception they have of themselves

[@EmyN]

Can be liberating, you know what they are

[@StudiosDelirium]

So sorry. Letting go of hope is very painful. The first step to healing is radical acceptance. Dr. Ramani has a video on this. Give yourself permission to grieve. Be compassionate with yourself. Take care.

[@izawaniek2568]

Once you know what narcisism is and you discern that you are dealing with a narcisist you get hold of powerful knowledge that will help you deal with those toxic individuals. Calling a narcisist out is not a good idea. Thank you for your expert advice dr Ramani. ❤

[@apkelly01]

My sister is always watching these soul sapping reality shows. I hear her saying ...oh she, he is a narcissist. I think in my head, coming from the biggest NPD going. My mam comes to me saying my sister says my mam is gas lighting her. So I asked my mam to repeat what she said and it was constructive criticism, but my sister shouts back at my mam that she's gaslighting her. I think my sister is learning about narcissism from these programs, and she's spouting out these phrases without knowing what they really mean. Thank you again for your videos for educating me enough to understand when my mam and I are being bullshited.

[@joanna0988]

Many people on reality shows definitely display narcissistic tendencies but it's also not uncommon for narcissists to call others narcissistic 😅

[@ixizn]

I told my sister about narcissism and gaslighting etc because we’ve been through it with our parents and I wanted to inform her and hoped it’d help her the same way it’s helped me... now instead she’s weaponizes and misuses all the “buzzwords”. For all the great it brings, I do think this is the downside to these concepts becoming more widely known/the words more often used on public platforms

[@Jess-kn8vl]

They think that a narcissist is someone that has boundaries, holds people accountable or calls them out on their hurtful behavior. They feel threatened to be called out because they feel entitiled to treat people badly if they are jealous of them or see them as a threat. They already feel victimized by their own jealously and shame.

[@cassandres4965]

@@Jess-kn8vlperfectly said

[@bevhills4877]

@@ixiznThis is what I expect from all NPD ppl. They want to muddy the waters and become the victim. Then there is the “you’re not a psychiatrist” thus you have no biz “diagnosing” anyone. Peace at all cost enablers will ignore any proof you have. They “wont choose sides” Flying monkeys will help the N out. I think some might be Borderlines.

[@stevec3892]

My parents were the worst .. I called them out many times and they call me crazy , paranoid , that never happened .

[@mintlatte9934]

That conversation was very cringeworthy. These are grown adults trying to navigate their adult lives from a dynamic of their childhoods. I have several siblings and after going around and around trying to have adult relationships with them I finally just gave up and decided to love them from a distance. You can’t force people to evolve in the same way you have. You can see Kim K still trying to hold on to the power position that she’s always held and Kourtney is fighting for her independence. It’s not that Kim’s bad or wrong or vice versa they’re just different people. Kourtney has to stop trying to prove herself to her family and just live her life on her own terms. They’re never going to give her the validation she’s looking for. Just focus on the cousins having a relationship and move on.

[@melomet3789]

Thanks this was a really helpful comment. I recently blew up on my brother for not respecting my boundaries, and I realized nothing I say to him will change how he treats me. It was liberating in a weird way, and I was able to stop feeling guilty for not having the relationship "I would want" and realized its just a relationship I have and I can't spend any more time holding onto negativity inspired by someone else's choices.

[@sampal5352]

Great break down on the situation, agree. It’s interesting how the younger two can come and go as they please, and seem to even have some awareness of the messed up dynamics of the older group. Kourtney seems like the only one who doesn’t strategically accept Kim as the dominant figure and the one her mom loves best. She can’t swallow it, but can’t entirely let go. She doesn’t really seem to appeal to her mom even, it’s Kim she wrestles with directly. I guess it’s in the understanding that Kim would have to have the graciousness to shift her mothers boundaries and love, her mom isn’t going to ever do that. I think the K’s have been a disaster for our societal culture all said, but damn they are relatable.

[@misschanner7262]

Kourtney can always leave the show. She’s always been ungrateful , lazy , and a bully. I’ve watched her treat her family like crap over the last decade trust me she isn’t innocent

[@violet18]

No, Kim is bad.

[@yolandaholliday4964]

And thank you so much for teaching us the true behaviors behind this word; and that it is a true disorder that lots of people are being victimized by.

[@AHealingPhoenix]

I’m so grateful to you for creating this platform of information, education, and guidance. I’ve learned a lot from you as someone with an actual abusive narcissist mother (I’m not just throwing the term out there). This was not a conversation for so long and it has truly been lifesaving for me to learn I’m not crazy, it’s not my fault, and ways to navigate my situation while I’m still residing with her. Thank you, always ❤️🙏🏻

[@ClassicCarGirl]

Thank you .. I agree I do have a narcissist sister and calling her out will just make things worse for me. The awareness you have given me is the power to deal with her and the situation.

[@wendyfilice7101]

I agree. So glad the public is talking bout this. To spread awareness and stop blaming victims. 😊

[@bambimelson4945]

Quietly leaving has proven to work for me as well as these videos by dr r who is literally dropping gold on ppl trying to get away from these types of behavioral patterns in themselves and w/ the world around them. When she 1st started talking about this she was literally the only person i could find with such extensive research and real-time work under her belt. Helped me so much.

[@valiizajames925]

I understand now! I listen to your videos...there was a point I was trying to stick up for myself and called him out for his lack of empathy. Because I called him out for having no empathy and he raged and then proceeded to accuse me of being unempathic towards him/ his family, and kept using that word/term against me every time he wanted to rage at me! Lesson learned!!

[@user-fz5my8zj6z]

This is so true in my life Dr. Ramani. I grew up in narcissist abuse, married into it for 30 years. My happiness was their tear down. It was mind boggling confusing and horrendously painful at times because I did not understand this serious condition of another. People loved me outside of my family and marriage. Today I am no longer hoping they will change. I have so many who I love and can love me back in my life today. Its feels so much better! Thank you for calling out self care, that is NOT the self centered manipulation of the narcissist.

[@charlottepartridge7347]

I have noticed the word 'narcissitic' being used so often recently. and by people who really do seem to understand its meaning. I absolutely love the change Dr Ramani is making to the world and so hope that it continures. Dr Ramani is changing so many lives for the better through the amazing work that she does and i so hope that the messages continue to spread wider and wider. Thank you Dr Ramani

[@bevhills4877]

True The narcissists will start using it all the time so it becomes “meaningless”, They will also use the “only a professional can diagnose” and possibly enter counseling with the full intent of fooling the counselor or refusing to go if you insist on a counselor who specializes in NPD and other cluster B personality disorders.

[@flagirl0315]

She has. It’s become mainstream and it’s sad how many people have these tendencies today. I think the number is way larger than the dsm states. The real pandemic lol

[@Rumplegirlskin]

This is so spot on. Everything she said about calling them out happened to me. I blamed myself, I thought it was me, I contacted my old psych professor, I went to a psychologist... afterward each person told me I am not a narcissist. I am not even teetering upon being a narcissist. My professor asked me to think about a particular lecture and trial, and in that moment it hit me. Empathy will cause you to believe it is you. Then you dwell over that, you start changing and you try to be better, you tip toe around the person and yourself because you don't want to be that. All of that while the narcissist watches and changes nothing. Then they get worse, you either break or realize... it isn't me. Narcissist will not focus on not being a narcissist. They won't try to fix the problem in a realistic way. They may make a few changes that directly affect them, then tell you they changed and you can't be happy.

[@jackiebennett1512]

The infamous family dynamics we never knew we needed explained, until now. Dr. Ramani = Legendary

[@Sam-pl3yd]

Hia Dr Ramani 💕I told the truth & I just feel so much relief that I finally got the power to do it after being bullied for many years. 🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@aknelange]

Dr Ramani is the most comforting presence to me sometimes. So grateful for your work.

[@ragtop_annie]

Great video Dr. !Thank you for this explanation. It confirmed what I had suspected would happen. Ex boyfriend is a narcissist. My two older siblings and my mother are narcissists. The point I realized I’m better off upping my own self care and avoiding these toxic people versus butting heads with them, I’m the better for it. And I have much more inner peace and joy in my life. 😀

[@Self-HelpForTheHood]

I agree. I think the issue you mentioned about “family systems” and taking sides, also holds for work environments where there is a NPD in the mix. We all want to feel supported, but sometimes the best thing is to form a safe protective isolated bubble. For example, avoid meetings with these people and others who might support them whenever possible.

[@Aintmuchbuthonestwork]

I called my ex out a few months ago and eveb told his friends about him being narcissistic, some reacted very badly, they were the weirdos with little to no personality and the one reacted the worse was a pyramid scammer so it was funny and educational watching the kinds of reactions I got but. Some of them silently approved me. They knew what was wrong with my bf but they didn’t want to get involved, I respect that. In the end I don’t regret calling him out, it was like one of the most fun, eye opener and courageous thing I have ever done! Do whatever you want. “Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is." German Proverb

[@Ashbyee]

Thank you Dr. R. You helped me save my own life. You are a major/main player in educating all of us. Thank you thank you.

[@rociocamarena4802]

I feel so healed when I watched the Kardashian clip. I could see the conversation for what it was. Thank you for educating people.

[@tishbeaver4294]

Thank you for this reminder! Needed to hear this! 🙏

[@lt827]

It is only the newfound knowledge of how to interact differently that you can share with others. It is so frustrating that you have to keep what you know about someone being narcissistic to yourself. For those of us who are open, this is big retraining of the mind.

[@Mara_143]

So glad Dr Ramani talked about this. Loving Dr Ramani's hair and make up.

[@cs8170]

YESSSSSS! Praise god how far we have come!!! Narcissism... BPD .. is finally out there.. and the most important.... Narcissistic Abuse is exposed. Dr. Ramani you are truly a gift... 🙏

[@sparkygump]

One narc calling another a narc. Do they cancel each other out?

[@Catman3131]

Does it matter ? We live in a society where can't even call someone out on something or even have rational debate or communication.

[@elangoelan9449]

Love your make up. And ur glowing and looks in a very much better place. Loving ur energy. All the best and always take good care Dr. Ramani

[@SB-hb4lu]

You keep it real and are really down to earth. You are comfortable in your skin and don't have to be fully made up to broadcast. It is so authentic and refreshing to see that. You look great with and without make up. That is so inspiring in this image laden world. That is real confidence btw. Also great and relevant content thankyou.

[@kelleysmith5055]

Thank goodness I found you Dr. Ramani!!!!!! Through your videos I’m seeing the craziness of my life and understanding I’m not nuts. Thank you!💗

[@India865]

Kindness is choosing to acknowledge and celebrate the beauty in others, regardless of whether or not they can find it in themselves🙏🏻

[@usernameisunavailable8270]

I'll try to remember to be this empathetic when they act out.

[@bevhills4877]

No.. actually that’s how you help a narcissist get away with their depraved behavior AND make them seem normal to others.

[@livelyleen6397]

there's no beauty in narcissists they're abusers

[@DiamondEyez456]

That's so true with my abusive family, especially my mother. She will call me that or no empathy etc..yet it's the opposite I have ever been and if anything I have harmed myself for all I have done for others and put myself last since I always attuned to her and others. I had to be there for her emotional support as a young child and all the way up, yet anything with me is "get over it" and more harmful things said. It's painful and how she is with me (besides my father and brother) keeps re-traumatizing me. I wake up with my chest aching and my heart racing and I do my best to calm my nervous system by placing my hand on my chest under my night shirt to calm soothe my vagus nerve..and breathe with sometimes also lightly rocking the skin to help.

[@profmj7630]

Dr. Romani you did an amazing job covering this reality tv conversation between Kim and Kourtney

[@Mark-ye8ro]

Dr. Ramani knows who's a narc, she just doesn't want the smoke. Well played! 😂👌🏾

[@Reevay762]

Yup hahaha 😅

[@Footsoldier1234]

I know you aren't supposed to call them what they are, but it feels so good to do it. Sometimes I just tell myself it's worth it and remind her what she really is after all the hell she puts me through.

[@deed2157]

But they won't believe you. The low to mid range ones are unaware of what they are. Pointing it out won't make them understand. They're seeing though a distorted reality where nothing is their fault. The high range ones are aware of what they are and have a high threshold anger threshold. So it takes a lot to make them angry. Since the narcissism is a defense mechanism they all use the three d (Deny, Deflect, Dismiss)

[@QX-xq5uj]

Absolutely! As soon as I realized I had aknowledged "powerful information" about his unhealthy behavior... I begann to plan my escape and got away safe before he could rage again, instead of calling him out🙊

[@anne-mariewoloszyn1194]

You are right in every aspect, Dr. Ramani. Thank you for your analysis.😊

[@kinndah2519]

Just when I think I can't get anymore enlightened...Dr Ramani does it again🌻 Also, she looks so pretty in this video🎀

[@duromusabc]

All the Kardashian sisters are narcissists 😂😂😂 Their tv show is narcissistic too

[@aprilfox1057]

Thank Dr Ramani. If I try to explain to my sister of her horrid behaviour, she always either copies what I have said to her about me, or she will twist what I have said and blame me. Either way, I simply don’t say anything any more.

[@aprilandjune]

Can we just appreciate how beautiful Dr. Ramani looks? ☺️💜 PS: You are doing a wonderful job Dr. Ramani. We love you for everything that you do for us. Your videos and content give us hope to rise above narcissistic abuse. I went from feeling like a scared, lost, helpless toddler to feeling an empowered and decisive woman. I am grateful for your existence Dr. Ramani 💜💜💜

[@sonnyca]

I’ve heard the message of this video many times but I registered it today. Yes, there are ways to deal with a narcissist once you know who and what they are. Indeed, it is a superpower to have.

[@CoolBreezeWyndi]

I'm only about two and a half weeks into learning about all of this, and unfortunately I already informed my sister that she was a narcissist and that the things she does are insidious. I also encouraged her to look up those terms so she didn't misunderstand what I was saying. Then I finished my comment by telling her she was a base person. I also encouraged her to look that up and told her to keep scrolling down to around the 4th or 5th definition to make sure we were clear 🎉 I think I started a whole party, but I'm choosing to walk away so I'm just sitting here waiting to take the fallout😢💔 I wish I would have seen this program before I did all of that but I felt like I was standing up for myself😢

[@funinthekitchen844]

My mum is a narcissist, and I cut off all ties with her more than ten years ago - I didn't say anything to her, but she still turned my siblings against me, they know that she is lying but they're afraid of her - a 80 year old woman, imagine being afraid of an old lady....Thank goodness I got away from the madness. Take care everyone 💞✨

[@seafogarty2007]

Looking snazzy Dr Ramani! Hair and makeup on point! Beautiful as always just noticed your extra effort and it's STUNNING!

[@maryjoeverette7280]

Dr. Ramanil, I love your videos and insight but really LOVE your new look, hair, makeup, background! It's a new day!

[@joyceadair3003]

So true. My mother did just what you said word for word. She tried to upset me to the fullest.

[@Romain_Galland]

14 years married. Called my husband narcissistic 14 years later. now dumped and getting a divorce…I think this pretty much sums it up 😢

[@someimanning4324]

I'm struggling for my lawyer to really understand narcaracist behavior, to understand that person really doesn't care if you end up on the street

[@autumnbrooke1721]

I’m so sorry . If he was truly like that , it will be a blessing in disguise after time and healing . I’m so sorry for what you went through and are going through

[@Romain_Galland]

@@someimanning4324 from where I am from, some people know the word but very few people really understand what it really means. My lawyer doesn’t understand really either not that it’s recognized as an official form of abuse according to the law, not in France anyway from what I gather.

[@Romain_Galland]

@@autumnbrooke1721 i only found out about the narcissist trait later in our relationship. I was diagnosed with being neurodivergent more precisely as an HSP (highly sensitive person) and I knew he was different from day 1 but he would say he would be better and I was already in love. I wasn’t the one diagnosed him narcissist but his own therapist but when I would be the one saying in toward the end of our relationship (never as an attack, to afraid of the repercussions), he would get so upset. Not long after he decided to cheat on me and then leave me. And I know for some that might be the best thing to happen to them even if they don’t know it yet, but I have a chronic disease that has me entirely disabled. So now I’m all alone , stuck to a bed without any support system and no revenue to help myself. I depend entirely on him. This is the darkest my life has ever been. Ending it would honestly be simpler but I’m too much of a coward. 💔

[@bellastar464]

this is such a big moment!!! I am soo proud

[@zajch]

Love how Dr. Ramani is improving the quality of the content. Looking gorgeous as usual. Once I saw the episode thought of you and knew what your reaction will be.

[@diane2413]

I do agree that it is a good sign that this came up on a reality show. That just means more people are becoming aware that narcissism exists. A lot of people had to have conversations about it before it ever made it into a TV show

[@Xenuwilleatyoursoul]

Yup, I called my Mother out in a meek way and she ran upstairs and got my autistic little brother to defend her. God knows what she said but the police were called on me when I was locked into a room to escape her. I'm free of her now but I could have just left without it getting to that traumatic point.

[@cdenni]

Thank you for sharing so true ,you feel better for a second then an avalanche of horrible behavior comes your way.

[@RAVENMoonTarot]

You are absolutely the best! I share your videos. The support group I am in.

[@VTH599]

I was so exited when I figured out the narcissist in my life so I told him. He then turn at me and told me I was a psychopath.

[@claudiaunscripted845]

Its great calling a narcissist out. No one should walk on eggshells.

[@ClezVideos]

It’s not always safe to do so for some people.

[@SuzannaLiessa]

@DanielsVideos Thank you for saying so. Mine went from messing with me to heavy-duty emotional abuse. I was able to leave two weeks later, but he did so much emotional damage in 2 weeks that I'm disabled. If you're planning to call them out, talk to the local DV agency and let them help you make a safety plan. Make sure you have a place to go. Be ready to leave at a moment’s notice - have a go-bag, make sure you have all important documents in your possession, preferably a credit card in your name only. If this sounds over-the-top, you need to understand that you can't depend on a narcissist (or any other abuser) to stick to their usual pattern if you call them out or leave. Emotional abuse can turn to physical abuse, sexual abuse, or crank up the emotional abuse. Think carefully before you call out an abuser.

[@bellaluce7088]

NOPE to calling out dark triad types. The best way to stand up to a narcissist is to quietly exit and live your best life, risky confrontations not required.

[@bellaluce7088]

@sylviadonoghue2195 said it best: "Accusing a narcissist of being a narcissist is like accusing a shark of being a shark. If you are in the water and a shark comes after you, telling it to stop making everything about itself and respect your boundaries is pointless. The only answer is to get out of the water and stay out."

[@ClezVideos]

@@SuzannaLiessa That’s similar to what happened to me. Our son and I left in the middle of the night and ran to a DV refuge after 15 years of physical, emotional, sxual and financial abuse. I’m still battling severe PTSD all these years later. Eventually I had to make contact with him as we had to go to court but it was all done by email. I stupidly mentioned that I thought he was narcissistic and - oh my - am I glad we were only in written contact because I got pages and pages of abusive emails. I couldn’t repeat here what he said, the least offensive being that due to my bad physical health, thankfully I’d be dead soon and our son would be better off if I died. I’m just grateful I never said it to him in person because at best I’d have ended up in the hospital. Always prioritise your safety and I guarantee it is never worth telling them they’re narcissistic.

[@rockerdad2]

Dr. Ramani a great smile and great new studio look. Great vids to help us. Thank You!

[@darwyncreations3700]

dr ramani, love all your advice!!!

[@jadegreen1554]

They’re all narcissistic so the joke is on whoever called whomever a Narc in the family. Stemmed from their Narc parents, all 3 Narc parents. Don’t look at the show, there’s a great documentary about the family and it covers some of the effect on society around them - they’ve been in the headlines enough. It’s really great that you’re saying the word “show”, because their narcissistic tactic to fame and power was to make themselves much more relevant than just being “actors” in a reality show they created themselves about themselves yet reality is, they’re just still seen by academics and people who don’t have time (or brain cells to spare) to perceive the “show” as a “show”. Thing is, this “show”/ family and a few other “celebrity reality actors” is responsible for a mass degradation in culture, as it is today in North America, normalizing narcissistic behaviour as “they do it, so it’s normal”. Young people are swayed and confused. It’s like peer-pressure on steroids, inside your home. This is a fact of the reality we live in today and how we got to where we are at this time “normalizing” in bulk some really abnormal things-much different from the way things were in the “good old days.” Wouldn’t be surprised if this internal call-out backfires spectacularly and results in even more explosive, mass gaslighting on the innocent public like-”narcissism is GREAT!”. Unfortunately, would be a good case-study, except reality isn’t as easy or safe to call-out.

[@gerondawilliams194]

We are on a spectrum to a degree

[@erinward2983]

It's the "Look-at-me-family three"

[@ixizn]

Dr Ramani did an interview with Kendall Jenner once which really surprised me. It’s an important topic and Kendall has a large reach but also strange given what a massive role their whole family has played in influencing a whole generation to view “success” in a very shallow and narcissistic way. I’ve always been interested in hearing more about what Dr Ramani thinks about this family and the social influence they have... even if I also fully understand and respect why she doesn’t speak publically about specific people

[@LoveBeliefTruth]

I binge watched it during Covid and I think at first they had no idea where they were going to end up with the show. It looked like they were having fun in the beginning. Fame and then massive fame surely change people and their lives. But some of them also have gone through traumas, even very traumatic things (in the show), like husband found unconscious in brothel, robbed at gun point, sex correction etc. I've re-lived some my own traumas throught watching them. Like seeing Kims blank face and personality change after she was robbed in Paris really showed me the face of shock that I got after I was attacked and raped by stranger. I was just staring blankly and could not function. My personality dissapeared.

[@alivanessa134]

I wouldn’t agree that’s they’re all narcissistic they didn’t ask to be famous, Robert had power already

[@jenniferatkins528]

I started calling people out a few decades ago, that ship has sailed, lol. And yes- it did make things worse, they did all the things you warn about. BUT. That was done to witnesses. The words were said and they can't be unheard. What I can say, up to twenty-plus years after-the-fact, is that I chose to take that onslaught, because I was tired of all the witnesses being afraid. Yes- there were real consequences to be concerned about, but facing those fears, especially when someone else is leading the way, was better in the long run. They got to see exactly what could happen- but someone else took it. They had time to consider what it might mean for them, to plan for the outcomes. Because there are a Lot of Cluster B's out there who need confronting. These are often people who aren't just causing problems for one person. I had the whole DARVO unloaded at me, multiple times. And I would still do it. If nothing else, for myself. I could and did face that. Still deal with the consequences of, but I take that as part of the path chosen to learn from. While truly horrible the first time, the tenth time, you deal with it, eventually you know the plays, the patheticness under it all, you can become a kind of immune to it. As society finally becomes aware of this pathology that's been among us for generations, it will lose its power. That doesn't mean it can't be dangerous- but WE are the ones who gain the power to confront and resolve it. That is what we are at the beginnings of.~

[@ccharles848]

Perfect timing for me as I am struggling with a friendship with a person who definitely has narcissistic personality traits. Thank you!

[@daniellejenson7443]

Dr Ramani, you look beautiful, happy and healthy! As always, love your perspective and insight into these issues. Thanks!