How to Forgive || Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation - What Is Your Responsibility? | Kris Vallotton

How to Forgive || Forgiveness Vs Reconciliation - What Is Your Responsibility? | Learn more here: www.krisvallot...
Have you ever found yourself on a forgiveness merry-go-round? Around and around you go again to the same problem with the same person as before. Does your forgiveness just seem to open yet another door for the wrongdoing to occur once more? Dodging punches and side swiping throws is not true reconciliation nor the fullness of relationship we’ve been called to cultivate. Now let me be clear, this does not mean if you have circled the merry-go-round once or twice and tried solely in your own strength and perspective to lend vulnerability and resolution to the situation you have completed the process of finding reconciliation. Have you brought in outside counsel or gone before a neutral, trusted person with both of your best interests in mind to mediate the concern?
The challenge is, it is easy for our offense to arise after putting in so much time and effort to find resolve. But, the truth is, even after you have given it multiple attempts it is your job to forgive. Romans 12:18 says: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Relationships are two-sided, each one of us plays a part, we cannot control or require someone to reconcile, apologize, or to seek to understand. But, as far as it depends on you or me, we are to live in peace with all men. Even if reconciliation isn’t found, forgiveness doesn’t depend on them.
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About Kris Vallotton:
Kris Vallotton is the Senior Associate Leader of Bethel Church, Redding, and is the Co-Founder of Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM). He is also the Founder and President of Moral Revolution and a sought-after international conference speaker. Kris and his wife, Kathy, have trained, developed, and pastored prophetic teams and supernatural schools all over the world.

[@nozipho8041]

I choose to forgive no matter how hard and I don’t expect a sorry from my offenders. Thank you for this video

[@24carrotgold8]

Years ago I read the "Safe People" book and it was really helpful for me to realize I was not obligated to remain in destructive relationships. Forgiveness frees me to move on without the weight of past offenses.

[@RebeccaRivas87]

Same!

[@meonmyown]

Setting boundaries doesn’t always work. It depends on what their EQ is. Sometimes it’s best to stay away and keep your peace

[@jabbaughfc]

Staying away (distacing yourself from that person) can be a boundary. If someone is always offended by your presence (without you even interacting with them) then that may be the only boundary you have.

[@meonmyown]

@@jabbaughfc I agree but I wasn’t talking about someone else being offended by my presence. I’m taking about people who are bullies and abusive to me and avoiding them.

[@meonmyown]

People know when they are being $&@)heads. Even if they don’t know, they should deal with it and say sorry. One persons perception isnt always another’s. You may think that you did nothing wrong but it doesn’t matter. The other person views that you did. If your not willing to admit it then you will continue to push buttons and be an ass. Why should someone stay around that. They need to protect their heart. They can forgive but stay away. Abuse and and being a jerk is rarely dealt with In the church. It’s all about politics, abortion and homosexuality. It’s a shame because I personally know some homosexuals and they are the kindest people I know. It’s doesn’t take much to be kind to people. It takes a lot of energy to be a jerk

[@suzijorgensen6545]

​@@meonmyown hey, I hear you. I was broken as a 4 year old, by my mother. She has constantly told me that her life was AWFUL....every time she goes past "hello", it's the same! What she will never do is listen to me. I've been shut down by her for my whole life. The abuse was real. She says she's a Christian, but does a Christian woman snap and growl and deny, and around we go. So I don't speak with her. I CAN'T! So I want to forgive her, and I know that The Lord wants me to be FREE. So I see a wise Christian counsellor who is helping me. It's a process. And I will get there. Without her. I pray that you keep trusting the Holy God we love. Shalom 🙏

[@suzijorgensen6545]

Complex Trauma

[@alannaking5374]

Thank you for having this conversation...I've experienced first hand the challenge of being in excruciating pain as a result of a stranger's negligence and walking in forgiveness. This dynamic has caused some confusion to local believers who have assumed that pain always leaves with forgiveness. The truth is, what happened hurt us AND I have forgiven. Prior to my own experience with traumatic loss, I had an ignorant assumption very similar to this "one and done" idea. Forgiveness = pain-free living. Completely inaccurate...♡♡♡ thank you! I needed this today.

[@loribaldridge3528]

Thank you for delineating between bitterness and the pain that can linger after forgiving someone. I haven’t heard it described so clearly and now realize the difference and the freedom in recognizing the distinction between them.

[@carolineanchieta5383]

Pastor Kris, can I ask you to pray for me and my sister? We fight against illness in our minds. Because of that we are depending entirely on my mother but she is a very mean and cruel person. I wanted prayer for healthy finances and maybe restoration and healthy relationship. Thank you!

[@yashivuvbolshomdomenakholm8274]

First comment on forgiveness. Yes please! One of my favorite things

[@LifeTooBig]

Those who are forgiven much, love much

[@markkuo5481]

Thank you ~

[@mssponski]

Thank you!!! Great follow up to the IG post I read a few days ago.

[@teamvanniekerk]

I needed to hear this. One of our leaders in our church has a problem with me. I did have a meeting with her to sort it out. She said it’s sorted out, but keeps ignoring me in all areas. We used to be extremely close and now I am getting the cold shoulder. This person was angry with me, because of a social media post I made in December 2019 and only confronted me on it during March 2020. She said I took offense when she spoke to me about it, but I felt hurt by what she said. Not offended. I’ve asked God if I should leave the congregation or just stay? I’m not hearing anything from Him considering the answer I need. I am so confused. I have forgiven her. I’ve moved on. I tried to reconcile, but she keeps on ignoring me. What should I do?