Kyle Landon - I Get Sad Easily (2019) Full Album

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0:00 1. How Do I Face the Day?
3:33 2. Ferris Wheel Memories
6:24 3. Gutter Prayer
9:43 4. Magnesium
12:07 5. Come Home
15:36 6. I Wish Lemons Were Sweet
19:58 7. Ghoulish
22:33 8. Sunshine
25:51 9. The Apostle Looked to the Sea...
28:42 10. No Blood, No Matter
33:06 11. Tears of a Statue
36:32 12. Try to Remember Myself
38:52 13. I Want to Eat You
42:39 14. They Already Burn
45:53 15. Sleep in the Poison
50:14 16. Pain
53:14 17. Am I Full of Hate?
57:15 18. PARTY WITH DOCTORS
1:01:16 19. Horrid Restrains (You're Acting Strange)
1:03:58 20. Afraid
1:09:13 21. Open My Chest, Dig Out My Heart
1:12:21 22. Do You Love Me?
Released December 31, 2019.
All songs written, performed, programmed, produced, engineered, mixed and mastered by Kyle Landon.
Recorded in Summer Square, 2019.
"I get sad easily." I thought of the phrase one day and decided yup, that's the next album title. The cover is just a picture I took with my phone on a timer. There's no red filter or anything, that's really how the room looked, I had my computer monitor just blasting red out at me. I don't really know why I picked it as the cover, I look a bit too confident for the title "I get sad easily." I do like the dissonance, though. It's just me at this point in time. Released at the dead end of the decade, I was doing remixes up until the like 9PM, it definitely was already 2020 in a couple parts of the world when I finished and uploaded this.
How Do I Face the Day? This song is horrific to me, just total freak-pop, if such a thing exists. I was going through it mentally and decided to write and record a complete song a day every day until I couldn't anymore. I did 25 tracks and this was the very first one. The laughter is one of my favorite production things I've done. I love how the "and I'm nothing at all" part of the chorus starts in the sides and then moves straight down the middle. Just a real upsetting track.
Ferris Wheel Memories. To contrast, here's a song I made while trying to be ridiculous. The beat and my flows were just too crazy and I felt like putting this on a serious, depressed album would be a great show of a damaged mental state. Yes, that's a sample of the Chao in Sonic Adventure singing, you know, right before they get trampled. The main sample come from the one time I produced music with someone else. He was like, the son of one of my dad's friends and we just hung out one time and made a couple of beats and then I never heard from him again lmao. Don't even know his name. I just chopped up one of the beats and that's why the drums and chords are like that. I'm sure I'll do a production breakdown one day. Probably the best ending line of any of my songs. Real serious artistry there. I hope I don't get cancelled for that Jamaican line.
Gutter Prayer. This song was directly inspired by an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog. The one I remember specifically is the one with the librarian. The music across that show is consistently gorgeous. Anyways, the music in that episode has some beautiful organ chords playing softly during the parts with the librarian, and I was inspired to try to make my own pretty organ chords. Another episode had some chords playing in a waltz, which is why this song is a waltz. I really really love this track, definitely one of my strongest. It's full of confidence and character. An open B tuned song. The song is about the chinese gutter oil I was reading about, nothing too crazy. There's a reference to the C.S. Lewis book "The Screwtape Letters" which I read around this time but don't really remember. I should read more. This song is one of my classics, for sure.
Magnesium. I was starting to get into supplements and found my sleep vastly improved once I started taking magnesium (this is not medical advice.) The production was made by fusing together two different unused songs from 2015. The bassline/synths during the "young hikikomori" part are from one, and the bass synth from the chorus is from another song. This songs not really about much, just some interesting sounding stuff on top of an instrumental I love. Lots of my songs end up being that, not that the lyrics are worth ignoring or whatever. They can be whatever you think they mean...
WRITEUP CONTINUED IN PINNED COMMENT

[@KyleTheLandon]

Come Home. This song's project file destroys my computer everytime I open it, and its not even that crazy. This is one of my best songs, definitely. Its fun and ridiculous and catchy and full of character, its not just me complaining about my life. Though, it is based on a true story. I won a cute little cat plush in a claw machine (I am a claw machine gawd) and kept it on my desk. One day, my little cousin stole it, and to this day she refuses to admit it. No wonder you failed algebra you fool! So there's real pain here. When I first produced the part that plays during the "are you ever coming back" prechorus, I knew, like, damn, what kind of sick world is this where I can make something this good and still be broke and unknown? I rewrote this chorus maybe 4 times and struggled greatly mixing it. I love the misdirection of the lyrics, its a great twist. If I were to ever get a cat, I would 100% name it Puppy Cat. And if I ever got a dog, I would name it either Mr. Puppy, or PuppyTime. I Wish Lemons Were Sweet. A song about a girl. I was getting bolder and more specific. This song is so rainy, I love it dearly. Yellow is my favorite color, I'm always down to look at a lemon, they are always such a wonderful shade. I love lemon candies too, I genuinely wish I could just bite into a lemon the same way I could an orange. There's no bigger metaphor at play here. I have 3 different video game samples going on here: the moan from Sonic Battle's Club Rouge, the exhale type sound from the The Mines Of Narshe from Final Fantasy VI, and the weird sound those weird tank enemies make in Kid Chameleon. I love that horoscopes line, its very specific to my own situation at that time. That scream at the end was recorded live when I was practicing a setlist I never actually played for anyone. Ghoulish. Just a dope song I made, nothing too crazy about it. I don't wanna say this song was made on autopilot or anything, but I feel like if you just let me loose in FL and I have no direction or intent, I'm just gonna make something like this 90% of the time. One of my rare songs to feature adlibs. Maybe my lack of adlibs has contributed to my lack of success! My flow on "i got unrequited love for myself" is nutty. And then the Etika sample at the end, rest in peace to the king. I was a big fan from like, 2014 onwards, back when Smash 3DS/Wii U was getting hyped up. Joycon boizzzz. This is my only album to really have "interludes" like this. I felt like I was on the edge of death at the time, and I wanted to include the voices of those who had taken their own lives and left an impression on me. Sunshine. Another solid experimental hip-hop track. The "align my spine in morning sunshine" part is suuuper old, from 2014, I was still in high school when I recorded it (it's the same recording from back then.) Hopefully, at some point in the future people will appreciate my lyrics. I believe the lyrics were put together by just lumping a bunch of different stanzas I had written on their own together, but I find that they all work together in this configuration pretty well. Cool track. The Apostle Looked to the Sea... A story I made up about some missionaries coming to a village to spread the good word, only for God Himself to come down and talk to them, and tell them that they need to stop and leave. A song about stubbornness. Maybe it's some type of metaphor deep down about my hesitance to promote myself to others, and fear that I'll be rejected/harmed if I do so. Such a dramatic song, I'm super proud of it. I find myself to be at home when making drama. I would consider myself a very peaceful guy in real life though. No Blood, No Matter. This might be my personal favorite song of mine, ever. It's not my best (The Boy in the Light is) but this song just scratches something no other song of mine does. That Final Fantasy VI piano carries hard, but I did a decent amount of sound design here, especially with the big compressed distorted timpani hits. I would consider this a two song-song: No Blood, and No Matter. Originally, the song was called "A Cup of Smoke" for some reason but I realized that the hooks in both songs have the word "no" in them, so it just clicked in my brain. The story is a pretty simple vampire story, set in like, the 1800s or whatever. Bloodborne times lol. There's even an angry mob scene! Not a metaphor as far as I can imagine, just a story I made up that I thought would fit the instrumental. Thinking about it know, I could imagine now how someone could interpret this as a story about alcohol, but I don't drink, but still, if that's how you feel then turn up! The sample of No Matter is just No Blood chopped up, which is pretty obvious from the sound of that FFVI piano. That's probably the best way to do a beat switch. I'm not the biggest fan of just having two totally different beats in a song and calling that a beat switch, I like when elements are carried over between the two. If you just switch beats suddenly, that usually tells me you weren't creative enough to make a whole song out of that first beat, or that you aren't talented enough to transition between the two in an engaging way. Usually both. Goodness, writing these writeups and listening to all this stuff again got me aggroed against all other artists, I'm too good for abject poverty and total obscurity, at least in comparison with the rest of you making good money off this. My time will come. Tears of a Statue. Another big favorite of mine. I broke down and used autotune because I just simply couldn't sing what I wrote well enough. I tried for a LONG time and couldn't do it. I wish I had the time and money for some lessons. Anyways, the autotune ends up working well for the feeling of the song so no harm no foul. I adore the chords here, the bass and drums are real busy and interesting, this is just a super solid track, with some of the most honest and devastating lyrics I've ever written. Next skit takes place here too, a recording of Terry A. Davis. I had been aware of him for a while, but one day I watched that video "TempleOS | Down the Rabbit Hole" and became deeply horrified and depressed when I saw myself in the video. That very quote I included here, about having nothing to do but this, but I don't want to do it, complete with mouse clicking, shattered my soul. That was me. It still is me, 5 years later. I spent 8 years straight doing something that got me nothing and drove me further into despair. I am now one of the best musicians alive, and I will continue to hold my place in the pantheon down, but I am genuinely looking forward to clocking in at Dollar Tree or Target or whatever place will have my no degree, unskilled in anything practical, zero connections ass. Terry liked elephants, God likes elephants, I like elephants. Try to Remember Myself. This song has a bit of history to it. It actually was a different song called "Try to Be Remembered Today." The chorus and "i get sad easily" stanza are the only lyrics that remain, and the instrumental is mostly the same, but the verse had some different chords. So why was it changed? Well, I just went back and listened to the original for the first time and holy shit. It's the most unapologetically suicidal thing I've ever written. It lives in total relaxation and acceptance of that. I'm slurring my words, directly say how I'm going to do it, and there's a line about how it would make my mom feel that I completely fumble and couldn't get myself to say and I just left it in there like that. As a piece of art, a piece of self expression, it has a level of emotion and honesty few ever reach, in my opinion, but at some point during the making of this album, I realized that it was simply too much and not something I ever wanted anyone I care about to hear. So, I hollowed the whole thing out and filled it with something that was still depressed, but has more of a nostalgic hope. Trying to rediscover the magic of life. It is a bouncy beat, and the chords are beautiful, it's an interesting contrast. I Want to Eat You. This song is so freakish, like, even if you look at the FL project file, it's a complete mess, I dunno what time signature it is, it just barely makes sense. This is another one of those songs I feel like nobody else could make but me. I was flowing on this one despite the, how do you say, incongruent rhythm. I know exactly what this song is about, do you? It's not cannibalism. Apparently some people in like, eastern bloc countries made some tiktoks to this song somehow, my girlfriend was trying to show me one day, but I refused to look and I kinda regret not looking now lmao. What could those videos have been??? How did they find this??? They Already Burn. Mixing nightmare. A rare use of a drum loop here. I refuse to sample other peoples vocals or melodies or chords or whatever, but drumbreaks and whatnot are okay with me. The sample in the chorus is an old song of mine from 2018, called "audrey ii" which is weird cuz I've never seen Little Shop of Horrors. If you listen closely, you can hear the words "rid of you." That's a sample of an ex, from the same recording I used at the beginning of Washed Out on Gold Shadows (see that writeup for more info.)

[@KyleTheLandon]

Sleep in the Poison. Here it is. The bedbug song. In the summer of 2018, and then again in the summer of 2019, I dealt with a bedbug infestation in my room that wasn't even my fault to begin with. We had a, let's say seedy, family member staying with us for a while who brought them in. They spread to my little brothers room, and then when they were cleaning his room out, they put his mattress up against one of the doors to my room. I suspect the bugs then jumped off and crawled under the crack of my door to infest my room. I STRUGGLED. I was getting 5 or 6 bites a night. I was trying every single type of powder and spray, I vacuumed constantly, cleaned my sheets constantly, inspected everything constantly. I was sleeping every night on top of all my blankets wearing gloves and a hoodie tucked into sweatpants tucked into socks. I was a nearly impenetrable fortress. I don't know how I got rid of them in 2018, they just kinda disappeared as the weather got cooler. But they somehow came back in 2019 and the only thing that finally worked was just throwing out my mattress. I slept on the floor for like 4 months and my mattress now is a handmedown from my dad. I still get jumpy when I see a black speck of lint or whatever on my bed. Sometimes they would crawl over to me at my desk and try to bite me in the middle of the day while I was working. I would catch one or two a day and study them, learn them. I would hold them in between pieces of toilet paper and try to squeeze them to death, to make them pop, but maaaan they are built sturdy! Ridiculous. But my favorite thing to do with them? I mention it in the song. I would catch it, throw it into the toilet, and do my business all over it. I did this regularly. I got to know them pretty well and I do gotta say, they are the perfect pest. Just perfectly engineered in every way to ruin lives. If they could fly, I believe all of humanity would agree to collectively commit suicide. I pray you never have to deal with them. Anyways... The song itself. This beat was made after the last time I ever had writer's block, or beat block, whatever you wanna call it. This is the beat that broke through, and I broke through so hard I wrote 3 different sections for it in one sitting. The secret to never having writer's block again? A combination of just spending time learning and experimenting with the technical aspects of my tools, with no intention of making anything good during that session, and just writing whatever anyways without any pressure of it being good. I was imitating the ride symbol from Rhythm and Balance from Sonic Adventure 2 for this song, I didn't get close but these sound interesting! A very desert level type of beat, to me. There's a sample here I shall reveal now: Look up "Sports Arena (Arcade) Attract Music". That's something I rediscovered from my deep in my childhood around the time of production. There's no meaning to my use, it just sounds cool. The last third of the beat was written first, I remember now. I'm not into faking in my music, unless I'm clearly telling a story. I've never been the one to be like "yeah fuck you, I'll kill you, I'll fuck yo bitch" in my songs but it was my great honor and privilege to be able to say those words and mean it, because I'm talking about bedbugs. The sample at the end is from Richard Russell, known online by some as "Sky King." if you don't know the story, basically one day a guy that worked at an airport just kinda snapped and stole a plane, despite no flight experience. He flew it around for a while, did some tricks, talked to air traffic control the whole time, and eventually crashed the plane, ending his life. People took to this story and embraced it as a sort of representation of living and dying on your own terms, in a state of total freedom, (physically) hurting no one else. Of course, those who are suicidal usually enter a type of fugue state where they just accept and are calm about their impending death, but the spectacular nature of this event, as well as the recordings of him talking to air traffic control elevated him to folk hero for the depressed and suicidal. At least, that's my take of things. I included him here because back then, I wanted to fly sometimes, too. Pain. Yeeesh. This one's rough. It was directed towards some friends (that I'm still close with!) and is just a manifestation of how crazy and self centered I was being. I had a hard time thinking straight around this time. I genuinely can't remember any inciting incident for this song, I was just off my rocker. It slaps though. Am I Full of Hate? Total banger. One of the rare tracks to come from 2018 rather than 2019. Just another good old fashioned rock song: guitar, bass, drums, vocals. This song is about the time I took my friend at the time (now gf love u baby) to the DMV to help her out, and I was acting moody and weird because I felt like I was wasting my time when I should have been at home making music that nobody's gonna listen to, even though I should have been happy to help someone that I cared about in her time of need. She didn't talk to me for like two weeks, which was totally deserved. This song is that apology, that moment of clarity the second I got home that day, I believe I wrote it the day of, actually. You know, my music does an excellent job at making me come across as an emotional scumbag and I wonder if that's one of the reasons why nobody cares about it. That's one of the reasons why I started to make funny content! To get people to get to know me and care about me! Think of other artists who trauma dump in their music. Let's go with Danny Brown, and the XXX album. He starts the album rapping his ass off, with a super unique voice, fantastic production, and hilarious, memorable bars. That level of character and humor gets you attracted to him, and when you get to the back half of the album and he starts getting more and more personal, you care because you had started to fall in love with the character he was setting up in the first half. Then you start watching his interviews, and he's super funny there, and it all just works splendidly. You are now a fan of Danny Brown! Now look at me. Look at my "strategy." What is the Kyle Landon experience? ... it's just trauma dumping. You have no idea who I am, what type of person I am, what things I like, what I do, my personality, my sense of humor or wit, you just immediately get assaulted with self loathing and depression. Why should anybody care? You could easily say "yeah buddy, life's hard for me too, get over it" and close tab or skip the track or whatever and move on with your life. Personality is a huge part of entertainment, I now understand. Of course, there are outliers, but acting goofy on KZbin has resulted in me finally getting attention after years of nothing, so there's gotta be something to it. PARTY WITH DOCTORS. This one's got a good story. The whole thing is improvised. I wrote/produced/recorded the whole thing in like 45 minutes while standing up and wearing my guitar the whole time. Even the keys and drums and vocals were all done like that. The "poison sticky liquor hidden mega casualty/see how brown liquid makes me lie through all of your own teeth" is the only lyric I had written previously, everything else was take by take improv. I have not made any other song in this fashion but I definitely should again. Just rabid anti-drug/partying propaganda. I sure make being sober sound fun, don't I? lmao

[@KyleTheLandon]

Horrid Restrains (You're Acting Strange). One of my all time favorites. I'm a master of ugly shit, if I do say so myself. The drums were made on accident, like, I was just sliding my hand across the keyboard out of frustration but then quantized it. That voice sample in the chorus was made with the same program that you hear in famous internet video "Meow sad toy cats". Actually I just looked it up again, apparently its name was changed to "fur displacement test" and its by madcatlady. But no, I didn't sample that, it's just where I got the singing robot program. I'm surprised I've never heard anyone else do the "devil on your shoulder" type thing in a song before. You can hear him, speakin evil in the right ear. Notice how he shuts up when I mention a church, however. The guitar in the chorus was meant to sound like a country song, I dunno why, my brain just gives me ideas and then I do it. After the first chorus, during the instrumental break, you can hear a whining, squeaky sound; that's my computer at the time's fans acting up. I love how the song falls apart at the very end and then just gets completely canceled out by the bell. That bell is a sample of my high school bell. The bell is there to send me back there, because the next song is about something that happened to me back then... Afraid. This was originally gonna be the name of the album. I'm not going to really talk about the lyrics of the song, I think it's pretty clear what happened to me. I'm saving it for my therapist that I just started seeing a few weeks ago. I did use my first cuss here though! You know, if Hell is a cuss and not just a place. As a side note, yeah, I've dropped a couple bombs here and there in these writeups, but I do not curse in my music or content. It's really just a stylistic thing, and one of those constraints to make me act more creatively. That, and I don't curse around anybody in real life other than my girl. Just the character I've established for myself, I don't mind it. Plus, I never wanted to have to put the parental advisory sticker on any of my covers; I never wanted to have that big red EXPLICIT next to any of my track titles, and I definitely never wanted to have to make botched radio edits. It's all just so much better if you don't cuss! Anyways, the whole "come see me" part at the end was improvised, I feel I should mention now. I'll say plenty about the instrumental! I wanted a war theme, so I got the military drums out, of course. The synth chords at the beginning are from a song I wrote around 2014, before I met this person, I put it there to represent that sort of corruption of the good thing I had going. The pretty chords during the soft quiet parts were just gonna be that, and the fact that it turns into a metal song was a complete accident and not the original intent at all! I was just messing around one day and tried to play the chords on my guitar, and I realized that it was compatible with standard tuning, and one thing led to another and now we have the other half of the song! Sometimes you can't explain or predict these things, you just gotta give yourself the room to experiment, the room to dream. The guitar solo was kinda an issue for a while, I wanted it to be this huge, complicated thing, with like, sweep picking or some other technique I can't do, but it turns out I suck ass at guitar, so I ended up just playing one note as hard and fast as I could, trying to either break the string or cut my thumb. I didn't do either but you can feel the aggression and anger in there. of it. The drums and repetition of the last part of the song were inspired by the song Cow by The Melvins. I always loved how that song goes. Just drums, over and over again. That "kahh" sound at the end is from 2013, just a random demo I recorded. Like the use of that old chord progression at the beginning, I wanted to use a sound of me from before the event of this song happened, a sound of the old me exhaling. One of my best songs ever. I could write 10 things better than this and it will still be top 5. Open My Chest, Dig Out My Heart. Another one of my all time greats. When the "beat drops" I always pictured it being the "jump into the crowd and crowdsurf for a while" moment. This song isn't about any girl in particular, its kinda a general message towards every girl I ever had feelings for, like, if they were to all fuse together and become some big gross Akira flesh thing. The strings on the second and third parts of the song are just the fast strings from the first part slowed down a ton. They sound huge. The whole song does, its like my heart caving in on itself. Just another song that's too good to just sit in obscurity forever. I'm not too inclined to write much more about it, it just makes me sad, it speaks for itself. Do You Love Me? This is probably my most "different" album closer. It lacks the grandiosity all of my other closers have (SPINNING doesn't count) but it's here at the end because it has an air of optimism to it. In it, I admit that yeah, things are hard, but it's time to change, and maybe I can change. Making music doesn't make me happy the way I keep telling myself it does. It's a pretty song. Not too dense, not too complicated, just raw and upfront. A good ending to the madness this album contains. Would you believe me if I told you that this album is a collection of leftovers? This is the Selfish Animal of the 2019 sessions, but where is the Margaux...?