Laird Hamilton: Forgiving my stepdad

Big-wave surfer Laird Hamilton opens up about the importance of his mom’s constant presence in the wake of his biological father and later his stepdad walking out on the family. Hamilton also shares stories of meeting his biological father and frequent, physical abuse from his stepdad.
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Episode debuted nationwide in 2018.
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[@pjbergman-johnsonmusic7214]

I met Billy Hamilton and Laid in the summer of '73 when they came to Coronado to visit a friend and we all surfed North Beach in Coronado and Sunset Cliffs together, Laid was 11 or 12 years old and a terror (in an non-stop energetic way). I ended up moving to Kauai that September to surf and since there were absolutely 'NO JOBS' I ended up having to scrape by to make ends meet! Coming from a big Family (13 kids) I knew how to take care of household chores and watch, feed, and entertain kids. I ended up taking care of Laid and his brother Lyon quite a bit when his Mom and Dad wanted to go out and spend some time together dancing at the Anchorage, or the Dolphin. I had it wired and watching kids was no problem for me so once the word went out that I was responsible and reliable watching Laid and Lyon, I started to get non-stop requests to babysit and that became my main job in Hanalei for the next 6 months. It was actually a good job, I was living on rice, beans, and peanut butter until I finally got a job dishwashing at the Rice Mill restaurant!! I was in paradise because I got to eat whatever I wanted and worked with some of the good local surfers so that opened up a few set waves for my at Hanalei, middles, and Cannons. STOKED. I spent a lot of time with the Hamilton's and got to know his Mom well, she was one of the most beautiful souls I've ever met, smart, kind, and caring. Joanne always took the time to check up on me and made sure I was doing OK as an solo 18 year old blond haired Haole surfer in a very intense local environment. I never surfed more in my life in the biggest most challenging waves I had ever experience at that point in my life. I was hooked and ended up living in Hawaii 12 years, living, visiting and surfing Oahu, Kauai, and Maui and coming back every year after I moved back to San Diego the next 25 years. I always follow what Laird is doing and I ran into Lyon in Fiji a few times in the nineties when he was a boatman and lifeguard at Tavarua Island. Lyon is an amazing surfer in his own right and we had a lot of fun surfing, talking story, and drinking some whiskey after some great sessions. Both of us do not drink alcohol anymore and I'm still surfing and building custom surfboards here in San Diego!

[@IndianaDundee]

PJ Bergman Wheres your shop. I’m sure this could land you some well earned business. People would love to hear some more about...while they buy...

[@Sam-ol3uo]

U

[@simondaughtry4619]

thanks for sharing .... good times.

[@lynnmahan154]

Wow. So interesting! Thx for taking the time to share all this. You were independent and resourceful at such a young age. Today's kids could learn from you!😋

[@laraoneal7284]

No child “DESERVES IT”. What an unaware statement. Laughing makes it even worse.

[@rosamrc923]

Laird Hamilton is absolute HONESTY with amazing humor and unique smartness. My RESPECT! This man is one of a kind.

[@hoagybob]

Never met Laird Hamilton but he’s still one of my heros. An oceanic warrior. Fearless, trustworthy, and genuine to the core.

[@markfletcher7122]

Yeah man

[@callmedoc5635]

Bad mofo

[@rmoon01]

Shockingly personal questions, answered with grace and candor.

[@woodguy76]

He's a class dude.

[@NoOne-zm4rb]

I like the outbursts of maniacal laughter.

[@sandorhartig3957]

He Is a class, but he Got compared with Jordan or T. Woods!!!...... My opinion, that Is a insult 'cuzz Leard Is light years a head those money Junkee scum!!!

[@wcc1212]

Right? I get the impression that Laird was so headstrong and almost feral as a youngster, that it was tough to deal with as a young step dad who already had a temper. As Laird suggested, 2 alphas carving out territory. Great persepctive from him.

[@tedium37]

Forgiveness is always stronger than revenge or hatred. Thanks for sharing

[@BOBSMITHH]

the most intense 8 minuite and 40 second interview I've ever seen. Thanks for sharing, Laird. Thanks for the interview, Graham

[@IndianaDundee]

I am a man. I’m a stepdad. I will always take care of these kids. I will never leave these kids. I do not, and will not beat them. I strive to be better to teach them how to be the best they can be. I am their father. I am a man.

[@lynnmahan154]

You're a good man.

[@foffndy666]

@Blue Douche Mark weird when a man will make a baby, but then leave and not raise it.

[@josuemoras9149]

Blue Douche Mark Then don’t date women with children? Lol

[@Yachtzeee]

His name is Robert Paulson.

[@problynah]

@@Yachtzeee his name is Robert paulson!

[@BigBass-xf5yi]

The world would be such a better place if even 1 out of every 50 adult men were like Laird. This dude is definitely one of the better role models out there.

[@chrisvelour3679]

Much respect to Laird - no doubt, a true warrior on both land and sea. It's easy to hold on to resentment and it's such a challenge to forgive those who have hurt us. It takes courage to open up and freely share what we've been through in this life, and Laird does it much grace and forgiveness. Respect...

[@gsteele89]

He's got such grace and humility. A real man.

[@Themandogh]

Heavy stuff. Laird is an absolute legend and hearing stuff like this puts my respect for him at another level

[@maxbrazil3712]

My father was a violent man & I still hate his guts. There are a few things more evil than child abusers, but not many.

[@reubenbrownlee4303]

Max Brazil there is no greater evil then evil.

[@gesundheit602]

Hey Max, I hope you are able to overcome it and be happy. Mine was the same and even worse and I still have a lot of issues even at over 50 years old, especially with depression and what I am pretty sure is ptsd. He died years ago but the things he did are still raw in my mind. Wishing you the best..

[@parentsbasement7734]

Any person man or woman who beats on a child are the lowest of the low.

[@synclavier123]

My bio-dad left before I was born. Stepdad was a weak man, never beat me but was unrelatable and unavailable the 4 years he stuck with our family. Laird seems to have made peace with his childhood in a way that is unusual and rare. I don't know about you, but if I can make just 1 tick of progress in forgiving or letting go of that shitty stretch of existence, I think it would be a net-positive achievement.

[@sk8monkeystahard608]

Laird always has such an open and real personality, and to talk so personally to an interviewer about his life and still maintain the strong, positive integrity that he has is just amazing.

[@pietskiet8763]

Laird is only scared of his wife . thats why simple qeustions like that can be answered very honestly !

[@higherresolution4490]

So interesting to hear Laird talk about his father and his step-father, Billy. I would never have guessed that his stepfather had an anger management problem. In high school and at the beach (Laguna), there was no greater a gentleman than Billy Hamilton. He was like a younger version of surfer Phil Edwards. Many thanks for the interview.

[@paulagrey6013]

@Scott Laux you don't beat the ish out of kids...

[@higherresolution4490]

@MM 20 Especially here in wealthy Newport Beach, CA. If a fat or skinny boy doesn't have an electric bike so his legs can rest by 5th grade, and an iPhone 11, he'll need therapy for depression [hopefully therapy using LSD].

[@higherresolution4490]

@Scott Laux Excellent point, Scott. No doubt you're correct. And yes, Billy Hamilton graduated early from Laguna Beach HS, at age 17, then moved to Hawaii, and then came the events we're talking about. A child raising a child, if it were.

[@Durin_Son]

I've recently been watching interviews of Laird and his wife amd I havee to say that they are amazing people. Are they perfect? No, but they work on themselves everyday with much love and for those around them. They are truly inspirational

[@machina_aeterna]

Good job Graham. Your interviews are national treasures.

[@thefisherking78]

Been fascinated by Laird since the '90s. I'll never be anything like him, but I'm a better person for the inspiration he provides.

[@YvetteAnderson111]

Thank you Laird for sharing so personally from your life with us, as a man your vintage I highly value your words and openness. Keep it coming and keep charging it brother.

[@hawaiisurfingacademy]

Its amazing Laird how God works in our lives ! you would be proud of us me Keiki and Kapono and what you have shared gave me a sense of hope to see you again ! Aloha Laird

[@starcrib]

Love this guy....a real forged human being. 🔑

[@theonlyoned6409]

I don't care if you surf or not he is a man's man. Always, when he speaks it's with intelligence and grace.

[@qwertyu147]

I wanted a Dad, such a heavy comment.

[@romansroadapp]

Laid Hamilton is one of my big hero’s. I love him

[@alexg5513]

So sad, so personal, thank you for sharing.

[@pearlglass]

I like Laird a lot, he's such an inspiration for me. Always working hard and training

[@ottergreen8190]

I get where he’s coming from. My father was there but he wasn’t a dad and had a volatile temper . My dad left the day after I was born to go on a surf trip to Bali so clearly spending time with his first son wasn’t too appealing. I spent years wishing he would’ve just left because it was worse with my parents being together for years and having him not care about his family. It would’ve been easier having him gone than constantly in and out of my life. Even when my parents split, he moved a mile down the road to our other house and I saw him maybe 3or4 times a year. He was just too busy doing his own thing to be involved. I remember telling my dad when I was 25 that the only things he did for me was teach me to surf at 4 years old and teach me how not to be a father and that really took him down a peg or two.

[@ottergreen8190]

Jeff B no, he did that because a) he had already owned the house for years and b) it was 3 houses from the beach. Had nothing to do with wanting to be around his kids.

[@ottergreen8190]

Jennifer Boehm that’s the only reason I left the ocean to move to bumfuck Indiana surrounded by cornfields is because my now ex moved here and I want to be around my kids. I make sure to be the opposite of what my dad was.

[@deborahbushard6493]

Forgiveness is a gift

[@MrSharkphoto]

Gives us a clue to his fearlessness. Tough story and a better man for it.

[@petermartin9494]

Wow, LH is such a truly awesome guy, intense and laid back at the same time. If a boy ever asks me, what is it to be a man I would tell him, be like Laird Hamilton and you will be a true man.

[@paulpresto7346]

the man speaks very well and articulates like a college dean. Mucho props.

[@jasmith9630]

I admire this guy. Learned a lot about him thru these videos.

[@velder22]

I've been to Hawaii but I've never been surfing and I've always been fascinated by Larry and his passion for surfing, I love sports I'm an NFL fan but I've never experienced the kind of passion that these guys get out of their lives.

[@Mappy-xn1om]

No wonder Laird can surf such insane waves ! He had it a lot tougher than " Riding Giants" portrayed his life growing up !

[@danarrington2224]

I had a stepdad and now I am a stepdad. I was blessed with the best mom ever on earth and the best stepdad on earth ever. I think the most important thing in any family is the spoken expression of love. I was told that I was loved by my parents many times every day. Now I try to do the same thing with my family. It's a great way to lift someone's spirits if they are having a bad day. Just sayin'..................

[@RTC1655]

This dude is an icon.

[@justgivemethetruth]

Dude sounds pretty solid for having so much turmoil in his life.

[@sdsurfers7957]

my father beat me as well laird. i forgave him as well. i love my son. i dont beat him. we can change the cycle of violence.

[@Mitch-z1t]

Fantastic and honest person. Can’t say much more

[@Orgoneemfprotection]

Deep personal intorspection on a daily basis is the answer to all the grief and frustration that comes from relationships between children and parents. Dissolve any negative emotions through daily silent practice . its the only true way to really get past it and move on.

[@MrKnifeart]

Great interview. Excellent guest.

[@adamj1627]

Great sense of humor. Seems cool dude

[@joshuatelem8796]

You have the best guest!

[@alannamarohnic4722]

What a fascinating interview!

[@MrLRogers]

True aloha right there. Live, learn and love. I’ve always looked up to Laird. 🙏

[@okaydudes]

How could a mother forgive the non biological father of her children for beating her child?

[@jeffwisener1378]

Pulls no punches, sees both sides of a situation, good for him.

[@higherresolution4490]

Having been one year behind Billy Hamilton at Laguna Beach High and surfed Laguna's Thalia Street while watching Billy in awe, it's SO hard to imagine him having a bad temper. Billy was one of the nicest, most polite, most tolerant of younger surfers guys I've ever known. Perhaps being cheated out of his first major surfing title by corrupt judges didn't help much.

[@GodofDisco]

That's how abusive parents are sadly because it all gets bottled up and they only let that side out in the home. I prefer rough around the edges people to overly nice people any day of the week, generally more integrity.

[@janicemorris6085]

Laird is a mature evolved and highly intelligent man

[@deweywatts8456]

Imagine a stepdad were no one asks if he's your real dad. They look remarkably similar for no relation at all. Amazing.

[@dropfry]

His laugh reminds me of Chris Farley.

[@foxibot]

dropfry he actually looks like Chris Farley’s in shape brother! I would have not noticed until you said something.

[@Monpano64]

I was just watching an interview of Laird Hamilton on the Joe Rogan Experience and thought he looks like a in shape Chris Farley or a in shape David Lee Roth.

[@rodfriesen4370]

"As often as i deserved it!" Shocking to hear that . You deserved discipline, not abuse. A loving dad would discipline sternly but never abusively. You never deserved beatings. Please see that lie

[@gc99289]

No, some kids need an asswhooping. Sometimes discipline and carrot and stick just doesn't change patterns of bad behavior.

[@adamj1627]

Great sense of humor.

[@troyfreedom]

I believe anyone who laughs through this type of trauma, has not fully dealt with themself. Forgiveness for hitting people is bullshit. I guarantee you, his stepdad never hit a cop when he was pulled over or struck his boss at work. We live in a world in which adults apply a different set of rules when it comes to children. Sad, but true.

[@callmedoc5635]

Sad but true, but his ability to turn his negative experiences into fuel for the fire that has propelled him to reach even the wildest dreams should not only inspirational to all but especially to those who face any type of adversity. He is a tremendous role model.

[@garethmurt]

This makes me want be a better dad for my son

[@pumpupthevolume4775]

Larid has great insight and perspective.

[@uncletony6210]

we should all be so forgiving.

[@hang-sangitch]

This is true

[@viceb7]

No we really shouldn't... Some people don't deserve your forgiveness. Beating a child to severely is not something that should be forgiven in my eyes.

[@justintru_5395]

Super blessed to say that I’m from Maui Hawaii. This guy is a legend🙏🏽

[@SeanD808]

I have great respect for Laird...

[@trangoadvisory]

Hard to watch, the truth hurts and ultimately the truth prevails

[@Jkur2009]

What an interesting interview! I had no idea that laird hamilton had parents!!! I always assumed that he had been created by some supernatural beings and put on this planet to blow our minds. So he actually human???

[@baddyforall2568]

K

[@stevensonoma6646]

Right he was born a MAN

[@redrumrabbit]

He’s Neptune’s son.

[@slikrik505]

Umm. He still had parents. But they were from crypton.

[@MuahMan]

Fuken Aquaman this guy is.

[@KentKiner-dt5rp]

Met billy at brooks st surfing. Love the way he surfed

[@Paulvon128]

Hamilton is a great guy!

[@highd12]

As an adult that met my biological mother after 32 years, I wish I would have never have met her. I wish I would have had that self preservation.

[@Utahtruckguy]

Agreed, my dad left when I was 6 and then he started reaching out to me again at 18. I wish I would have never agreed to see him again.

[@thelastrebelshow1627]

A true ocean man.

[@KyokushinKichiKai]

Good for you Laird!

[@TheDragon160]

Laird seems like an awesome guy! If that is the few from his house, i am jealous. So pretty

[@misivulivosa7113]

powerful and motivating

[@surferpam1]

Pretty revealing information about Billy's temper.

[@laraoneal7284]

Graham ur the best and the original. Seems like Lewis something don’t know his last name is totally imitating your style.

[@edgarwatts8960]

Outstanding.

[@coachraylo]

Very mature man

[@Om3194]

17 years old dating his mother? Omg

[@viceb7]

Yea wtf

[@benben-sl7hi]

A little confused. Is the picture Laird as a young boy or is that Laird next to a young boy. The young man is a dead ringer for Laird. He’s the spitting image of Laird!

[@Ck-zk3we]

he looks alot like his step dad

[@0warami_7oo]

It's Billy and Laird!

[@situated4]

You only cackle-laugh like that to cover tons of pain. Feel bad for this guy as a little boy.

[@Doorito_]

Bobby Lee has that tick too

[@bryantorres9104]

Hamez sb true i noticed that on his podcast

[@Cwgrlup]

I was adopted by my stepdad and had the exact same experience with my biological dad…

[@TimmyTurner421]

What a cool bloke

[@Magicmike57]

Timmy Turner bloke....

[@itouch1375]

Great guy!

[@ryanj7517]

I’ve got to say that Laird is an extremely good role model. In a day that there isn’t many men of his stature and steadfast in his regiments regarding nutrition and fitness being a lifestyle.

[@50hellkat2]

This dude goes deep.

[@timothyh6670]

Love his strength

[@sharekeogh8658]

An very impressive man Laird is God love him

[@billiebergmann471]

wait a minute i now saw some Bensinger Interviews. Those guys he talks to are so often comfortable without shoes! I mean, thats the key?

[@donaldwatson3176]

So very hard to forgive but it must be done.

[@DennisTeti]

2:07 smart guy 💯

[@gb3817]

Damn. This was a gut punch. My Dad used to beat me up like a bar fight @ 9 -15 and I haven’t talked to him in 12 years.

[@jbre7233]

Gabe Bowers at 9 years old??!! I’m so sorry you had to deal with that at any age, but that’s so so young.

[@marcel-kl5ok]

@Gabe Bowers - Maybe try forgive him and see if amends can be made. Your father is probably having a hard time forgiving himself.

[@sarahalbers5555]

Your parents, mother or father, have no right to abuse you. It never ends well.

[@sjelliott6660]

Great point about being males. Same sitch with my bio dad.

[@jasmith9630]

How could his Mom live with this?

[@reddiver7293]

He was hyperactive and obnoxious as a kid. That being said, he has built a good life for himself.

[@mellamodiego8458]

It takes 2 to tango....so true!

[@matthews852]

I was bringing random dudes to my house to meet my mom when I was 3 too. Totally normal.

[@marcel-kl5ok]

LOL

[@lynnmahan154]

Hahaha

[@laraoneal7284]

Laird has a lot of issues he still has not worked through.

[@miamoore7530]

Don’t we all.

[@Nihilist1974]

Laird dude is true man among men.

[@sondraarrache1908]

Wait. He said he learned how not to be from his dad but didn't he walk out on his first wife immediately after his child was born?

[@sarahalbers5555]

@Jennifer Boehm that is inexcusable for both of them.

[@marcel-kl5ok]

I never knew Billy had a temper like that. It's pretty sad.

[@mochamommyATX]

See how strong women are!?!

[@unowen-nh9ov]

Where do you think you came from!?!

[@studiocelestedesign]

I know Laird just kind of muscles through it, (and after watching the documentary Catch Every Wave I understand why)- schoolboy Laird had a tough as nails kind of life from many angles, a lot of people and circumstances were not at all fair to him. But after understanding the violence and abuse his Dad targeted him with I was shocked to see that the Dad was featured in the documentary and chatting like all was well and normal. The Dad should have gone to jail for what he did; absolutely awful stuff. Anyways, not my era & not my life, but I can't ever respect a man who beat children out of anger. Zero excuses for the Dad and-- no Laird, you didn't deserve any of it, even as a hellion running wild.

[@jayb2175]

Laird 'it takes two to tangle' Hamilton

[@brucemorrison9001]

Dude is funny in a serious kinda way

[@catlady3147]

Wait. How old was his mother when his step dad got married? His step dad was 17? Are you kidding me? He laughs but that laughter is not funny at all. It's a dysfunctional relationship. His step dad looks like an asshole. Sadly, his mom was a victim and let her kids be on the receiving end of an abusive relationship. I'm sure she was hit too.

[@chironapolonio]

Uph. You won't get ANYTHING out of this "surfer dude" than you EVER would have imagined in your ENTIRE LIFE; trust me.