Laugh Out Loud with the Best Joke of the Day | A man in Alberta wakes up one.... | JOKE OF THE WEEK

Laugh Out Loud with the Best Joke of the Day | A man in Alberta wakes up one.... | JOKE OF THE WEEK
a man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof so he looks in the Yellow Pages and sure enough there's an ad for Alberta bear removers he calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes the bear remover arrives and gets out of his van he's got a ladder a baseball bat a 12 gauge shotgun and a mean heavily scarred old pit Bowl what are you going to do the homeowner asks I'm going to put this Ladder Up Against The Roof then I'm going to go up there and I'll knock the bear off the roof with this here baseball bat when the bear falls off the roof the Pitbull here is trained to grab his testicles and not let go the bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van he then hands the shotgun to the homeowner uh what's the shotgun for asks the homeowner well if the bear knocks me off the roof shoot the dog do a first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students who was being extremely rude in class so one day she asked Little Johnny what his problem was he replied I'm too smart for the first grade my sister's in the third grade and I'm smarter than her too the teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to the principal the principal told her that he would give Johnny a test and if he failed to answer one question correct ly he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet the teacher and Johnny both agreed The principal asked what's 3 * 3 Johnny replied nine 6 * 6 asked the principal 36 Johnny quickly replied it continued on like this for almost an hour The principal asked Johnny every question a third grader should know and he answered them all correctly finally the principal told the teacher I see no reason Johnny can't go to the Third third grade he answered all of my questions right the teacher asked if she could ask him some questions the principal and Johnny agree so the teacher asks Johnny what does a cow have four of that I only have two of legs Johnny replies the teacher then asks what do you have in your pants that I don't have the principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says Pockets then the teacher asks what does a dog do that a man steps into Johnny says pants finally the teacher asks what starts with f ends with K and means a lot of excitement fir truck says Johnny the principal breathes a big sigh of relief then says put Johnny in the fifth grade I got the last four questions wrong myself one evening a man and his wife are discussing what they think their son Will be when he grows up I have an idea says the father with that he puts a crisp $10 bill a bottle of fine Whiskey and a Bible on the coffee table if he takes the money he'll be a banker if he takes the whiskey he'll be a drunk and if he takes the Bible that means he'll be a preacher the man and his wife hide just before their son comes in the door as they watch from where they're hiding the boy goes over to the coffee table first he picks up the $10 bill looks at it and sets it down then he picks up the bottle of whiskey uncorks it sniffs it and sets it down lastly he picks up the Bible leaves through it and sets it down then the boy takes the money and stuffs it into his pocket grabs the whiskey and walks off with the Bible under his arm well how do you like that exclaims the father he's going to be a politician a pregnant woman falls into a coma while giving birth after some months she finally regains
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[@Graham-zw8ye]

The one with the Bear was Copied off a Jethro performance - a con and crap the way it was told. None of them are at all funny, well not by the way you tel them and fake laughter.