Learning from Others (That You Don't Agree With)

[@DougsDharma]

✅ Check out this video next on two opinions about what makes a person truly wise: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mqaumWmVo719qsU 🧡 Consider joining us on Patreon if you find benefit in these videos, and get fun extras like exclusive behind-the-scenes videos, audio-only versions, and extensive show notes: www.patreon.com/dougsseculardharma 🙂

[@CosmicGorilla]

Your scepticism brought you to the eightfold path. I hope that this was an easier journey for you than my journey from fundamentalist Pentecostal Christianity.

[@DougsDharma]

Wow, yes I imagine it might have been! But there are routes for us all if we are able to see them clearly. Thanks Rob.

[@frankli7848]

thank you great

[@DougsDharma]

You're most welcome Frank!

[@JamesSmith-kt3bi]

This is very helpful, thank you, Doug, your intellectual honesty is deeply appreciated. Sadu.

[@DougsDharma]

So nice of you James. I do my best! 🙏

[@michelledunford7718]

Great video. Thank you. I was just realizing yesterday that I was dismissing someone mentioning spiritual bypass to me (they specifically indicated they did not think I was doing it, but in bringing up the topic, I did question if they though I was bypassing my feelings). I read the article they send and found many things that I disagreed with (at first only focusing on the flaws and not the concepts), but a few days later started to question where I may do spiritual bypass... then that brought me to your spiritual bypass video. Thank you. Be well! :)

[@DougsDharma]

Great! Yes, spiritual bypassing is a very important concept to keep in mind while practicing. 😊

[@debralee1401]

So relevant and helpful teaching.

[@DougsDharma]

Glad it was helpful Debra!

[@peterreyes9919]

I needed to hear this today. Thank you.

[@DougsDharma]

Glad it was helpful Peter!

[@nickiehenderson3652]

Doug's Dharma Hi Doug can you do a video on Buddhism, and skepticism and how Buddha says to keep a healthy skeptical framework or mindset, and how we can apply that to ourselves. So we can make sure we don’t blindly believe in false or potentially harmful ideas

[@nickiehenderson3652]

Doug's Dharma I’m not sure if this is an actual quote that Buddhists look to, basically if it’s real or fake. But it talks about the skeptical framework lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/8e7-nln0bQouWGD7_CzhovjHTbz-QIOW_vC0sxLXAvbkOl7FkF9MmcclUexevnC0YVZtCeHkM7T40oJHNHhMKDdh2lZJp39sWQGN4ZgxOaInci3MzlCjlAGrrhF6V56TuPO081Bav2bislayrPG1szYduo0KHNW3usEJZr_rJcrL3gX6

[@DougsDharma]

@@nickiehenderson3652 The closest I know would be the Buddha's sutta to the Kālāmas. I did a video on that sutta awhile back: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d5KYlKyHd6esY8k

[@ruusuntulta8582]

So helpful. It was a soothing balm to my uproaring mind. 🌸 Thanks so much.

[@DougsDharma]

Glad it was helpful Ruu Ruu!

[@pompokkko]

So relevant especially during these difficult times where people are disagreeing so much in social media.

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, there is certainly a lot of that nowadays. 🙂

[@lelandstronks319]

Good food for thought, many are hungry 😋 for this knowledge. I know I am. Thanks Doug.

[@DougsDharma]

You are very welcome Leland, I hope so!

[@MisakaPeeris]

Amazing take on this compassionate middle path scepticism approach Doug. Anyone who is smart with their heart as well as their mind just knows and feels you are divinely correct with this lesson. Thanks for your AMAZING contributions to help humanity understand and benefit from Buddhist Darma. These videos will be appreciated in years, decades and centuries to come.!!! Keep up your priceless work.

[@DougsDharma]

That's very kind of you to say Misaka, I'll be happy if folks are still watching next year! 😄

[@karenconverse4839]

This was very helpful, thank you! I recently went through a period on social media in which I felt compelled to present fact checking of people's posts. I told myself it was because they were presenting misinformation, and it was somehow my responsibility to show them that their thinking was wrong. That they were basing their opinions on untruths. But doing so also left me with a sense of discomfort. I have been struggling with deciding which discomfort is greater, that of someone spreading misinformation, or of my own attachment to "the truth" and creating tension with a friend. I appreciate your teaching on this subject.

[@DougsDharma]

It's a tough one Karen, I'm not sure there's an easy answer. It can be helpful to others in the conversation to point out untruths, but as you note that also has its own downsides.

[@nuwanperera1977]

Learning from Others (That You Don't Agree With) - I do that all the time. Yet I find it difficult to come to terms why some people still hold on to things that are [wrong in fact and wrong in dhamma] such as this concept of impermanence is the reason for dukkha. 😊 It probably works if you are looking for wiser, kinder and calmer [worldly] life but it is certainly not for nirvana in my view, as the entire path to nirvana depends on the correct meaning and understanding of that small word. If I say something about this so called “middle path”, specially a very popular term in western interpretation of Buddhism. There is no such a thing as “middle path” in Buddhism as far as I know, if you think about it, the concept of middle path is highly subjective. What you refer to as middle may not be middle for someone else. This is again misinterpretation of the term “majjima patipada” in Paali for the benefit of some misguided bunch of people. The correct term for this is [practice or path of non-clinging] and it has nothing to do with following some sort of subjective middle path. 😊

[@griffin2263]

wonderful talk !!! really enjoyed it and very much food for thought ....something that is hard to do but with most things with practice easier to do ....

[@DougsDharma]

Absolutely! Thanks uniplex.

[@alfonsocuiti]

With english being my second language, I had never heard the expression "throw the baby out with the bath water". I found it hilarious and absolutely spot on for the topic

[@DougsDharma]

Ah yes! It's a useful expression. 😄

[@charliecastillo2011]

I really appreciate your take on Ajahn Thanissaro! I have also found him to be somewhat conservative, now that I think about it. There is also a Canadian Theravada monastic that I watch on KZbin frequently, Ajahn Sona, who I think can also be seen as conservative in some ways. After watching your video, I realize that while I may not always agree on some fine points that Ajahns Thanissaro and Sona (especially Ajahn Sona) make, I have taken to heart the core of the messages the 2 Ajahns made in their videos I’ve watched. I will certainly take their message - and yours - in mind as I continue on the Path.

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks Charlie, yes I think it's important in these circumstances to separate out the basic message which can be excellent from the parts that don't resonate with us.

[@unoperatic2800]

Hi Doug, another great video! Content aside I wonder how you prepare the speech for your video. It's so impressive, you've not even stuttered once and you're always very eloquent and fluent.

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks! I'm still far from perfect, but whatever skills I've built up are from several years of practice. If you look at my earlier videos they are less impressive. 😄

[@Giantcrabz]

I am only 30 but I've also found I don't like as much to be contrarian, antagonistic, etc. like I used to when first became an atheist. It's tempting to be angry and mock people who are religious and conservative and don't understand science and history, but how can I judge them when I used to be the same way?

[@DougsDharma]

Right, yes. And being angry and mocking people ... what good does it do? It may make us feel better for a few minutes, but at what cost?

[@pow9606]

My view is that right and wrong are views and all views change.

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, well we certainly do have views about right and wrong, and views do tend to change.

[@Somethinganythingwho]

"You're not wrong; you're just an asshole." - The Dude

[@marekgrzybek7167]

Ignorance of what is good and what is bad/wrong is responsible for most arguing or verbal fights. But I think is always necessary to remember that each of us is not free from it (except me of course!...Just kidding) and that ultimately everyone view (on politics, religion, etc) is made by uncountable and unconscious conditions. Thank You for remind us that Buddhism has solution for that (Stoicism to, btw....and Zhuangzi, for that matter :)) Metta

[@DougsDharma]

Exactly so Marek. We are all to one extent or another ignorant of what is good and bad, and it's good to keep that in mind!

[@afanasibushmanov7463]

I personally enjoy listening to people that I disagree with more than I enjoy listening to people that I agree with. I believe that the only way to grow as a person is to listen to new ideas and to different perspectives.

[@DougsDharma]

Interesting perspective! Thanks.

[@Brutusthethird]

Great video, its a real artform to be able disagree with someone in a skilful way. Hadn't thought about viewing disagreements from a vantage point other then scepticism... I wonder if there is a danger on both sides in regards to the way we interact; if you are to critical you might not actually listen to hear the full context of what someone is saying, but if you are to charitable you run the risk of not actually engaging with the person and there ideas (you may go the other way an soley listen without throwing your hat in the ring).

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, thanks TG there are dangers on both sides, if you take them too far.

[@markbrad123]

Tend to find people think their way or way less has to be every bodies, and start trying to take over or exclude. In science they don't use a sample of 1 to create a paradigm. With good reason.

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, thanks optizap.

[@davidd1289]

I found that there can be truth even In the most blatant of lies

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, often there can.

[@CosmicGorilla]

Please give representative examples. Your assertion seems delusional to me and I’m interested in hearing how you feel that there is truth in untruth.

[@davidd1289]

One example I am familiar with as a poker player is a saying we live by in the community, “Strong is weak and weak is strong.”. When one acts as if they have a strong hand they often do not, especially when dealing with beginners. Even a lie has the truth of a lack of truth, and that lack of truth can often be interpreted in many ways.

[@davidd1289]

Or another example I guess would be a psychoanalysis of a chronic liar in a clinical context if you want to get formal with it

[@CosmicGorilla]

So you are saying that the shape of the lie outlines the shape of the truth? The poker player analogy does not cut it for me as none of the players are dealing in anything truthful. They are manipulating the brain chemicals in their opponents to achieve certain outcomes. The truth is either the player intends to signal the tell or the tell is inadvertently signalled. Life is largely around manipulation of others so pathological liars are towards the extreme of this adaptive behaviour.

[@radekkubica6089]

Hi Doug, I want to ask you whether Buddha really taught about oneness. I've searched a lot of sources but in everyone of them seems to be different opinion everytime. Thank you❤️

[@DougsDharma]

Well that's a tough question Radek because "oneness" can mean so many different things. In general though the Buddha didn't teach on the unity of all things, if that's what you mean.

[@radekkubica6089]

@@DougsDharma I mean that popular statement "there's no separation at all. So I am you, I am everything, I am universe, so there is no you and I, everything is one".

[@DougsDharma]

@@radekkubica6089 Yes the Buddha rejected this view as a form of self-view. (I am everything).

[@radekkubica6089]

@@DougsDharma thank you!

[@photistyx]

I totally disagree with everything you said! Just kidding. I love this talk. I have a real tendency to cling to my views. And I notice that I usually feel the need to judge every view someone else puts forward as something that I agree with or that I disagree with, particularly in certain areas, like politics. It happens too fast to be rational. It's more of an immediate vedena-based clinging reaction. But I do try not to let the reactive mind be the last word, and look for what is useful. As you describe, there is usually something there. And if we accept that any statement of view is the result of causes and conditions, we can sometimes, as you suggest, investigate those causes, which may be more useful than stopping at judgment. It's not easy though :-)

[@DougsDharma]

Exactly so photistyx, it's an immediate, involuntary reaction, and sometimes it's useful but often it's not. At any rate, it's good if we can stop ourselves a bit and take a second look.

[@timetraveller5721]

Sir please make video on Jataka story or previous lives of Buddha

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks for the suggestion TT. I'll keep it in mind!