Crypto Couple Steals $4 Billion Poorly

[@LegalEagle]

🚓 Has a more cringey crime ever been committed? 🍷 Get 50% off of your first 6-bottle box with Bright Cellars: legaleagle.link/BrightCellars

[@BigMamaDaveX]

Oh, I'm sure that you'll find cringe on the tRump crime list... Among other things... 😏😉

[@medusareigns]

Will you be doing a video on the Marilyn Mosby case in Baltimore?

[@mizinoinovermyhead.7523]

I'm not really sure this says much about the security of bitcoin or crypto...I mean these two got caught because they were essentially morons...I don't know that it would go as well if they were actually competent.

[@morganseppy5180]

I couldn't handle the cringe and my name being said over and over.

[@mikemcmullen5006]

Yes. Ever heard of Chris Chan?

[@jackielinde7568]

"All art is subjective." LegalEagle, can you stop subjecting us to her art? Thank you.

[@alm2187]

I like the jokes! I like the jokes. 😎 Also, any reminder to the public about the perils of subjectivity is beneficial. More and more, I fear, we're going to hear from racists (for one example) defending racism as okay because it's just their opinion. It's not.

[@alexw4482]

I need restitution for those clips being in the video, ears have been permanently damaged.

[@jackielinde7568]

@@alexw4482 I wish I could blame my tinnitus on those videos. Sadly, it has a much older cause.

[@C.CurrySims]

LMFAO

[@me0101001000]

Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you for murder by words. I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

[@blacktemplar2323]

My deepest condolences for having to listen to her "rapping". Your sacrifice for our entertainment will be remembered.

[@glenngriffon8032]

17 seconds in- whelp, that's it. Rap's dead. It had a good run. I thiught Game Crazy's Zelda killed it but this... this is it. Here's where it died. Goodbye Rap, you weren't my favorite genre but you meant a lot to many and were loved. I will 420 in your memory.

[@eekos]

Can we refer her to the ICC? I'm traumatized

[@PhilLesh69]

It's like being rick rolled, but with the generic knock-off store brand. Like getting a Babbie™ Doll or a Hello Kitten™ for Christmas.

[@ziggystardog]

F

[@mentosfairy]

She almost makes Martin Shkreli look cool.

[@EebstertheGreat]

People still keep telling me about the "inherently anonymous nature" of the blockchain, which is the biggest piece of crap I've ever heard. Every transaction you make is permanently and publicly recorded. So if someone figures out your identity, you can never hide it again without taking down the entire blockchain. It's as not-anonymous as it gets.

[@Dayvit78]

The same problem with biometric keys. Once your fingerprint or eyeball is compromised, too bad, you can't change it :)

[@jfbeam]

I was heading to the comments to say exactly this. It's only anonymous as long as no one *EVER* knows who holds what. Stolen coins are all but useless as you can't do anything real with them. Laundering crypto-currencies requires some level of complicit "mixing service" -- an _exchange._ (That's the same as a centralized bank, which is the second lie of bitcoin.) If that exchange is lax and/or doesn't cooperate with police, then no one will know who put what, where. (note: banks keep copious, detailed records of every penny. you only _hope_ your exchange is as diligent.)

[@alexandermarvin9536]

Criminals think crypto is anonymous...jokes on them.

[@EebstertheGreat]

@@alexandermarvin9536 I think some investors today forget that the main selling point 12 years ago was "it's easy to buy drugs from the Silk Road." That wasn't just one selling point, it was basically the only selling point.

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

Ironicallly the most anonymous way of monetary exhange is through cash. All those libertarians are looking into the future to seek a solution that already exists

[@merchillio]

They stole either 4 000 000 000$ or 238,57$ depending of the time of the trial.

[@galacticmechanic1]

"allegedly bordered on stupidity" has got to be the phrase of the week.

[@jhawley031]

""Allegedly""

[@VladimirJacinthe]

"Bordered"....?

[@Ethelgiggle]

Such a lawyer way of throwing shade

[@OrbObserver]

Bonnie and Clyde is an apt comparison because they were also really terrible at being criminals.

[@DtwFree]

Exactly what I was thinking. They were more famous for being a crime couple than ever really successfully pulling off any real heists. Lol.

[@DONKEYKONG260]

@@DtwFree honestly though. I was gonna play the other side of the debate but the only thing I can think of that actually went well was the jailbreak and he had someone else do the work lmaooo

[@kannonball5789]

@@DONKEYKONG260 I mean he was good at murder, and he had a gang that would get him out of jail, so 2 points for the Barrows?

[@PhilLesh69]

Most of what I know about bonny and Clyde is that they killed cops and were ambushed during one of their attempts to flee the police, and rather than surrender, they chose suicide by cop. Glorifying criminal murderers is a bad look for anyone who wants to live in a civil society or who respects others.

[@desecration171]

@@PhilLesh69 Wasn't it clarified later that they were ambushed and gunned down by the cops?

[@bruhlobster]

Surprised she didn’t accidentally just admit to stealing that much Bitcoin in her rap videos. Those raps went hard asf

[@jasonnorman-hodges3471]

She very easily might have done that, with the full knowledge that nobody would ever actually listen to it

[@theSkyGuardian]

Hard asf to listen to

[@jacobh793]

I saw a video (which may have been fabricated) where she said smth like "I stole billions worth of bitcoin" in a TikTok, people just thought it was a weird nonsensical comment

[@JasonBoyce]

Yeah pretty much all the best rappers straight up rap about their crimes 😂

[@Pretzil43]

"Rappers tend to snitch on themselves a lot" - Huey Freeman

[@katiegarcia8255]

I’m 36 years old and literally felt like I was 125 trying to understand the complexity of this scheme. Props to everyone who is able to grasp virtual currency while I’m over here still paying with cash.

[@erinhaury5773]

If you're interested in a good breakdown of crypto and how it (doesn't) work, Folding Ideas here on YT has a fantastic video on it that I highly recommend.

[@ThePrufessa]

@@erinhaury5773 thanks!!!

[@camrencormier4628]

Honestly you should keep on paying with cash what's wrong with a system people have used for centuries

[@MrAdamo]

@@camrencormier4628 imagine someone making this argument when humanity transitioned from bartering to fiat currency

[@isaarunarom7830]

@@camrencormier4628 lots of things, for example it lost all its value decades ago. Usd is not tied to gold anymore, uts nothing but a fake IOU that we all seemingly pretend has value and continue to trade with. Crypto is just like that. . . Except if somebody prints mints or counterfeits any we all know immediately. With usd you really don't know how much is in circulation and you can't controll or predict how much of those ious the fed will print.

[@Brian0033]

The actual take away from this is how hard it is to change Bitcoin into spendable cash

[@vysharra]

That’s a feature not a bug. Same with how Art NFTs exploded after exchanges and marketplaces went dark. Bros needed _something_ to spend their coins on in order to keep the price inflated now that Silk Road wasn’t the default anymore.

[@e.h.9051]

It's very easy to turn legally acquired bitcoin into cash. Sell it on a exchange then transfer to your bank account. Illegally acquired coins are next to impossible. They would have been better off selling the stolen keys at a steep discount to bigger idiots.

[@shadenox8164]

@@e.h.9051 Its actually not, because to cash out you need someone cashing in. You wont notice if you're cashing out small amounts of money obviously, but those people saying they have millions in bitcon? You don't.

[@e.h.9051]

@@shadenox8164 Once again, legal bitcoin is easy to cash out on a exchange, they have millions and billions of USD and crypto on hand like a bank. Just do a wire instead of a ACH withdrawal. (Feel free to check on etherscan to verify what they have in ERC20 tokens, I do)

[@e.h.9051]

@@shadenox8164 P2P transactions with that much money could violate US Federal law

[@MariaVosa]

The most embarrasing reveal in this entire debacle is the fact that FORBES actually hired this woman as a writer!

[@DekenFrost]

She was not "hired by Forbes" she was a Forbes contributor which is not much more than a glorified blogging platform on which pretty much anyone can host their stuff.

[@TheRafftnix]

Maybe she threatened to start rapping if they didnt publish her articles

[@crapshot321]

@@TheRafftnix Lol!! The Horror! The Horror!!

[@smrtfasizmu7242]

Oh no a bunch of thieves platformed another thief

[@rabidbigdog]

@@DekenFrost YAWN. Forbes lend their 'good' name to the blogging you refer to? You clown, those idiots.

[@darthplagueis13]

Life advice: Never trust anyone who refers to themselves as a "serial entrepreneur". If someone was invested in a ton of different places over the years, then that likely means one out of several things: 1: They are utterly incompetent and cannot keep a business alive but won't give up on the idea of being self-employed. 2: They are competent pump&dump investors. They buy a failing business for cheap, then try to spruce it up as a promising up-and-coming enterprise (mostly through disingenuous marketing as the company keeps dying), sell it at a profit and leave. Or they'll just use the assets of the company as security for taking on a loan they have no intention of paying back. As an investor, I wouldn't buy anything from such a person. As someone looking for a job, I'd look elsewhere. Remember: Someone who is really good at a job will likely stay in that job. If the job isn't working out for them and they leave, then an honest person won't try to sell their presence at that job as a big triumph.

[@Jartran72]

Makes sense to me

[@astrobullivant5908]

Many of the greatest businessmen and businesswomen of all time have failed in business repeatedly before making it big. Henry Ford, Ray Kroc, etc

[@Najolve]

Well did they claim "serial entrepreneur" or "cereal entrepreneur"? They could be the ones behind adding sugar to cereal products.

[@johnladuke6475]

@@Najolve I do believe that both Mr. Post and Mr. Kellogg count as cereal entrepreneurs.

[@johnladuke6475]

This reminds me of a point that a boss made when I worked in sales. "It's hard to hire good salespeople because they aren't looking for work. If they're actually top performers, their current employer will meet any demand to keep them. If they're looking for work, it means that they aren't making enough in comission to motivate them to stay, which means they aren't selling much."

[@lhfirex]

I think Bright Cellars offered to sponsor this video because they noticed LegalEagle going through an entire 6-bottle box in a few days just trying to black out and forget the alleged person's alleged raps.

[@Flowergurl2000]

This is gold!

[@alm2187]

Was "alleged person" a deliberate word choice? You'd say it's a mere allegation that she qualifies as human? 🙃

[@danielchan1668]

@@alm2187 That's likely the point. Stealing billions is undoubtedly heinous, even the alleged raps are far inferior to that.

[@cericat]

@@danielchan1668 I don't know, I don't think Devin was wrong calling on the Geneva convention of 1949 regarding protecting civilians from torture...

[@ForeignManinaForeignLand]

After seeing how you handle Cardi’s raps, I must admit that I was teeming with excitement at the thought of you having your hand at these rhymes which are infinitely worse

[@LegalEagle]

Look, not everyone is a born rapper like I am.

[@RabblesTheBinx]

Honestly, the rhymes weren't even that bad, it was the flow, or lack thereof, that was the problem.

[@harjutapa]

wait, Devin has covered Cardi? HOW DID I MISS THAT

[@johnladuke6475]

@@RabblesTheBinx I thought the same... that CEO/dirty ho line wasn't that bad on paper, but having a rhythm like a broken washing machine made it physically painful to hear.

[@BalooSJ]

Shouldn't that be crhymes?

[@Vanillastump]

I love how one of the big draw of Bitcoin was it being untraceable. And now most of it is being traced. Yeah, to get people's money back, but all those online drug dealers are gonna be annoyed.

[@MultiLimpet]

Bitcoin is a public database. You can follow any transaction.

[@Waspinmymind]

@@MultiLimpet Ah so that untraceable shit was a lie.

[@JMacSD]

Anybody can inspect a blockchain (like bitcoin) and see the (from & to) wallet IDs (actually a public key) in any transaction ever made. Considered "untraceable" because there's no way of knowing who owns any of those wallets - within the blockchain. Of course, you can often associate a wallet ID to a person with some investigation. Say somebody buys an ugly JPEG in an NFT for 20 eth (about $60 K) on an auction site. You can now see that the buyer wallet ID was in 1 other transaction, 20 eth deposited 2 weeks ago. The depositor wallet also distributed eth to other wallets that bid on the NFT, and if the scammer was too dumb to have friends in on it, also the NFT seller.

[@SpyKid527]

Please do Laws Broken: Despicable Me 1-3. off the top of my head there is at least 1 manslaughter, 1 vehicular manslaughter, 2 attempted murders, a lot of child endangerment, and 1 very extreme HOA violation

[@zottelhuehs6375]

I'd be here for that

[@zottelhuehs6375]

I'd be here for that

[@Kaiserland111]

As the legend Simon Whistler always says, "Never write down your crimes."

[@vm141789]

I have never in my life seen such a heinous crime. And I’m not talking about the stolen crypto.

[@beckymurphy4714]

Her lipstick?

[@alm2187]

You putting your own spin on the joke, @@beckymurphy4714? 😎 Most in this comment section are mocking the rapping.

[@theploymaker]

"The government can more easily track your movement!" is not the idea most crypto advocates were touting. Feels like copium ngl

[@ndemers]

It seems like the worst of both worlds no matter which side you're on. So on the one hand, it's not anonymous, and in fact is more easily traceable than regular transactions? But on the other hand, it's more easily hackable. And sure, you can argue you'll get your money back in the end... or some of it... maybe... after years in the courts?

[@JeffersonSeriously]

Objection! Wouldn't the fact that you've suggested the accused should pay restitution for crimes against sensory organs imply you also be guilty of this same crime, given that you inflicted it upon your audience?

[@MolecularMachine]

I think the legal implications of spreading memetic hazards is untrodden ground

[@wildwolf111]

@@MolecularMachine Did you ask the SCP foundation about that? I'm pretty sure unfettered spreading of a memetic hazard is ground for memetic termination.

[@alm2187]

The way he set it up, I was expecting a different kind of explicit lyric. Like she was going to confess explicitly and specifically? Is the rap just there for us to mock it or can it actually be used as evidence in the bitcoin crime?

[@fary5000]

I feel like everyone who covers these two makes the joke that Heather’s raps are a crime against humanity. AND THEY’RE ALL RIGHT.

[@ThePrufessa]

It's crazy this is my first time hearing about them.

[@JasonBoyce]

It literally hurts my ears and my soul to listen to her “raps”

[@johnladuke6475]

Her rhymes are at the level of a sitcom joke about a suburban white dad rapping poorly to try to fit in with his kids. I actually take comfort in her claim that they comprise surrealist art so she must know that they're not actually killer rhymes. Although I think the whole performance and raunch aspect puts her more in line with Dadaism than Surrealism.

[@siri7005]

Her rap is shit, it's true, but honestly being someone who puts themselves out there like that makes her seem like a fun person to be around on occasion.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

@@johnladuke6475 Yeah, if there were ever any reason to believe real life is a sitcom, it's how it seems that these two characters were written to be some kind of farce of financial criminals.

[@Doc_OLDGUY_Savage]

Definitely ahead of their time. Not the thieves, this: "Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead." Hans Gruber, Die Hard (1988). $600 million in 1988, adjusted for inflation is approximately $1.5 billion today.

[@RedRocket4000]

And you can't spend more then a set number of millions on yourself 10 million probably max for most. Stealing more than you could ever think of spending just putting more heat on you than you profit by. This one reason they probably did not even bother trying to pull most of it out. But if they had stuck to say 10 million authorities way less likely to chase as hard. But geed is almost always the downfall steeling for ego not logic. In the card game bridge with no cash award just ego praise in some case people have been caught because they kept using the same signal system the entire game for many games. If they only cheated on a set number of hands in a fairly random order likely they never caught except if one rats out the other. And most successful robbers or pirates caught because they don't retire after the big pay off. Well it does work for historical memory though. Henry Avery is by far the most successful Western Pirate at the time of his capture of a treasure ship worth a truly massive amount, the most ever, he was called King of the Pirates. But because he and his crew split the loot and went their separate ways retiring from crime most not caught including those who returned to England we assume. Rummors Avery was striped of most of his money by blackmailers I take as hopeful false rumor in England as there was no proof other than the claims themselves no Avery ever found.

[@mrmoshpotato]

Work Hard Or Die Trying, Girl

[@ignitionfrn2223]

5:10 - Chapter 1 - Background into Dutch & croc 7:25 - Chapter 2 - The complaint 13:50 - Chapter 3 - Takeaways 16:30 - End roll ads

[@sierrajohnson717]

God this case is funny. Can’t wait for the “inspired by true events” movie in a few years

[@abqnurse5760]

I think they are definitely in the running for dummest criminals ever! 🤣🤣 This was hilarious! Definitely made my day.

[@SGTShootToKi11]

Pain and Gain 2: A tale of two idiots.

[@pyrotheevilplatypus]

Don't forget, Law and Order is back tonight! I foresee this as an episode in the near future.

[@siinxx7656]

I do can wait. I can wait until I die and my organs are rotten, I'll keep waiting until my bones turn into ashes and the bones of my children and the bones of their children. Then I'll keep waiting for that piece of shit to never come out. And if it does, hopefully its gonna be launched 5 seconds before the sun reaches the earth after finally having exploted and died too.

[@ravenestrella2310]

@@siinxx7656 Agreed! The last thing in the world a pair this scummy, and this ridiculous needs is to be remembered!

[@snelpiller]

Never having heard of these people, that summary was so surreal I thought I was watching a sketch. Life is depressing.

[@MWSin1]

It's a variant of the Mandela Effect: it really happened, but you wish it hadn't.

[@MysterySemicolon]

With the amount of nigh-compulsive attention to detail and ordering of his own documents, I'm surprised the police didn't find the related materials all within a "Bitcoin Laundering" parent folder. One other thing to note, there are literally hundreds of bots out there monitoring crypto chains and announcing via twitter when a wallet comes online that has an exceptional amount of bitcoins in it.

[@marikotrue3488]

I just watched "Inventing Anna" on Netflix, I had thought that this case was the most improbable con that I have ever heard, well then this situation arrived.

[@ChronicNewb]

That reminds me of, back before weed was legalized, when my brother found an empty Tupperware outside of his apartment building labeled "pot brownies". Like if you're gonna do a crime maybe don't label it directly.

[@acrefray]

I have to admit, I laughed way too hard at "It's the equivalent of my boyfriend goes to a different school, in Canada, you wouldn't know him". Absolute marvellous humour.

[@MelodicQuest]

The "it's a feature not a bug" argument Sure, crypto theft is easily traceable. But you'd think that when you check your account, you'd expect all your money to be there.

[@erdelf]

Public tracing is not a bug by any measure. And banks can get hacked as much as the crypto exchange did

[@-tera-3345]

@@erdelf Yeah but when you steal from a bank, you generally aren't stealing from any specific account, so a bank robbery won't directly cause anyone with money in that bank to lose it. And if someone does get their personal account hacked and stolen from, banks generally have various protections in place so you can get that money back. That's basically impossible with crypto, which has zero consumer protection.

[@erdelf]

@@-tera-3345 what makes you think that ? Especially given how this video mentions people getting theirs back.

[@rafaelmarkos4489]

@@erdelf Regular depositors in the US are insured up to 250K, IIRC. Crypto is not protected in that fashion. If you compare it to other financial instruments, it's relatively the same kind of risk as standard equity.

[@Greg-gg2zj]

@@erdelf Yes, much later, only because the criminals were caught, and only because they hadn't successfully moved it yet. Only 80% was recovered in this case. What about the remaining 20%? They are out of luck. Technically the victims could try to recover it through the legal system, but these two aren't going to ever be able to repay it, so it is effectively gone. A more traditional financial institution can often restore a balance relatively quickly, and does not depend on the criminals getting caught or not having spent the money yet. A crypto exchange isn't going to offer that kind of protection. They might help law enforcement track down the criminal and make it difficult for the criminal to spend the stolen funds, but they aren't going to do anything for the victim.

[@MarylandFarmer.]

I'm still laughing at that bag labeled burner phones. This was a story I didn't know I needed to hear told by you. Great job! And that segway deserves and award too.

[@mikesbadopinions9671]

When you get 50 years for stealing $4.5b in crypto but a year later the same crypto is only worth 78 cents.

[@Mantafirefly]

I suppose that's the interesting question when it comes to trying to determine the severity of the crime for sentencing purposes. Do you judge the value of the bitcoin at the time it was taken? At the time it was laundered out? Is it fair to judge someone more harshly for an asset going up in value after the theft?

[@ZeroZiltch]

@@Mantafirefly My view would be something like: Judge based on the value at the time of theft + Any monetary values lost because of increase in value of assets in the time after theft

[@joshuaa7266]

I'd be surprised if there isn't a precedent for that situation since things like cars and other things that depreciate will have values that change over time. There's probably been a case of someone stealing foreign currency too.

[@JoCaTen]

The Hannah Sabata mistake. Bragging about your crime, incriminating yourself.

[@TheActionBastard]

I mean that's standard rap technique... rat on yourself and how many kilos of coke you can sell in a week and that dude you shot last week. Hard af raps.

[@pizzaivlife]

the anti-shaggy, the it was me defense

[@talonthehand]

@@TheActionBastard "It's a concept album"

[@missmoanypants]

@@talonthehand Lmao

[@isaarunarom7830]

Shoulda been a plead the 5th rap....and no other rap. Just leave everyone wondering what you did or didn't do

[@christophernoneya4635]

This is almost like that Key and Peele rapper sketch

[@RabblesTheBinx]

Key and Peele couldn't rap that badly if they tried. And they did try 🤣😂

[@elvaqueroverga6980]

W comment 😂😂

[@Demmrir]

Yeah no, neither Key nor Peele could ever manage lyrics and cadence that bad.

[@MusicVersa]

Cryptobros: "It's anonymous!" Also Cryptobros: "Isn't it great police can track all the transactions and figure out who stole the money?"

[@Vincent_Beers]

It can be anonymous, right up until you try to convert it and use it for anything, at which point you can be identified and all transactions traced. The only way to remain anonymous is to farm it and then leave it sitting in an untouched digital wallet with no identifying information, and also no way to use it.

[@MusicVersa]

@@Vincent_Beers It's never annonymous, because transactions are always clearly tied to your walltet. It's pseudonymous, since we only know that pseudonym (wallet address) until you try to actually do something with the "money".

[@johnr797]

Haha just made the same comment before I saw yours. For real though can they hear themselves?

[@108kitsune]

Devon needs to be held liable for subjecting us to Razzlekahn…

[@cmdraftbrn]

legaleagle shall be sentence to 1 BILLION seconds of community service!

[@AndrewAMartin]

He should have at least given us a warning beforehand, you know the standard 'Viewer Discretion is advised'... LOL!

[@SvenElven]

@@cmdraftbrn One billion seconds is 31 years… A bit harsh maybe?

[@Habu71]

I just picture the DOJ working in this for years, every so often getting a lead about her. Then going into research and finding her social media and looking at each other and saying.."Nahhh" and then slamming a laptop shut several times throughout the years.

[@Anastas1786]

"Hey, kid, I _know_ we keep coming back to Ice-Teenybopper over here, but look; I've been with the Department for almost _forty years_ now. I've seen some _stupid_ criminals in my time. I've _met_ some stupid criminals in my time. And it's good that you trust your instincts and you realize that an answer that's 'too easy' isn't _necessarily_ the wrong one... But come on. _Come oooooonnnnnnn."_

[@Amarianee]

Lmbo, your "not-advice" at the beginning reminded me of Simon Whistler's satirical "criminal rules." 1. Don't write down your crimes 2. Don't tell other people about your crimes 3. Don't boast about your crimes Way to break the top three (and there's at least at least 43 now) lmbo 🤣

[@doubledarefan]

Did Simon Whistler whistle those?

[@christinebenson518]

@@doubledarefan No, but the writers in the Blazement have the carved into the stone walls.

[@KillahMate]

'Cringe Crypto Couple Couldn't Crib Crapload of Coin' - clearly.

[@hughcaldwell1034]

Damn, I was looking for this! Hat off. My thoughts were stalled at "Cringe Crypto Couple Couldn't... Co-opt... something..."

[@jenniferstine8567]

Awesome! And alliteration always alienates audiences, administer aspirin.

[@hughcaldwell1034]

@@jenniferstine8567 Affirmative. Although, admittedly, audience affability abates as artificial application accumulates. Ask anyone, and attend any adduced anecdotes.

[@PhilLesh69]

I kept telling people that the entire history of each bitcoin changing hands becomes a part of the blockchain. It might be "anonymous" in the sense that your specific private personally identifiable information isn't attached to it like a credit card, but every transaction is traceable. Every bitcoin keeps a record of where it has been.

[@smirnovamaria9611]

It is anonymous! Until you try to exchange it to fiat. Then you'll need to confirm your id :)

[@goodlookingcorpse]

The worst part is that this could sully the otherwise impeccable reputation of cryptocurrency.

[@saschamayer4050]

Epic comment. 😅👍

[@zouyan]

5 years ago, I would have never expected that I would recognize the names of federal district judges.

[@DS-tv2fi]

“It’s not anyone’s place to judge art as good or bad.” I disagree. We should all be judging works of art as good or bad compared to our own personal standards.

[@sammarks9146]

As long as there's a well thought out reason or standard behind the judgement, yeah, it's fine to judge art.

[@rudyhero1995]

@@sammarks9146 no as a regular person, I will grant a piece of art so.ewhere between 0.5 and 3 seconds to ne deemed awful, bad, meh, okay, good or great. Only two of those will make any more time to judge a piece of art beforenever seeing it again. Yes I shod have been sleeping for some time.

[@laurendoe168]

I agree with you with one caveat - what one person deems as good another can judge as bad and neither can be said to be "wrong."

[@DS-tv2fi]

@@laurendoe168 But that’s my point. You agree with my point, with the caveat of my exact point.

[@shadenox8164]

@@sammarks9146 Nah, sometimes you just don't like something even if you can't explain why. That's fine. Frankly I tend to find the bigger issue is the people who can articulate why they dislike something and then pretend that's an objective measure.

[@THE-X-Force]

I'm really curious how they managed to "decrypt" that file.

[@rabidbigdog]

Other reporting I'd seen had the FBI recovering his cloud storage password from his laptop and then everything was just there in plain-text.

[@Solomon_Gundhyr]

0:21 You've Became my favorite lawyer after this line

[@svenbendor653]

Hey! Could you please cover the safemoon crypto class action lawsuit, I’d like to see an actual lawyers opinion on what it might entail. Love the videos.

[@richeybaumann1755]

The couple were just convicted on August 3rd, 2023. Both were convicted of the money laundering, and Lichtenstien pled guilty to actually commiting the theft as well.

[@lostbutfreesoul]

If block-chains include all previous confirmed transactions, how could they ever have been 'secret?' Make yourself a target of the government, and they will do the footwork needed to translate those chains....

[@johnopalko5223]

The blockchain is public, and the wallet IDs involved are recorded for each and every transaction. The _owners_ of those wallets are not recorded. If you never reveal any of your wallet IDs no one will ever know which transactions are yours. You don't need to get a wallet from an exchange or cryptocurrency "bank." All you need to do is run the appropriate software on your computer and create a wallet. You will end up downloading a copy of the entire blockchain so you'd better have plenty of disk space but, unless you're trying to mine the cryptocurrency, you won't need much processing power. A word to the wise: back up your wallet and don't lose the key! I got into Bitcoin near the very beginning (2009 or 2010, I think) and accumulated a few hundred Bitcoin, just because I thought the technology was interesting. At the time a Bitcoin was worth one dollar or so. Thanks to a disk crash, and some silly mistakes on my part, I no longer have access to that wallet. At the time, I figured it was no big deal as it was worth less than a thousand dollars. _C'est la vie._

[@flyingpigmonkey1]

The identity of the holder is not always known.

[@MultiLimpet]

The second you try to exchange crypto for something your identity can be linked to all your previous transactions.

[@johnhuelsmanjr4487]

thank u!! i sent this article to steve lehto but he never did a vid on it. these people r idiots!! thank god we got legal eagle to report on legal idiocy!! keep up the good work brother

[@OverkillSD]

Briefcase for crimes is my new favorite thing.

[@archdiangelo7930]

The only thing "surrealist" about Razzlekhan's art is how surreal it is that she can call it art

[@johanjarvinen]

The funny thing is once the Bitcoin casino finally runs dry they'll have gone to jail for stealing zero dollars.

[@RoburDrake]

When he mentioned how difficult it was to keep track of so many private keys, I thought, "OK, here comes the sponsor ad..."

[@CollinMcLean]

Show the jury that rap video... I guarantee nothing will be able to save her case after that...

[@JonReevesLA]

This was so crazy, it almost felt like an episode of Last Week Tonight.

[@Hannahbee_91]

As a Utahn viewer, I am very sorry I cannot support you through Bright Cellars :(. Our laws around alcohol are outrageous and I cannot have wine delivered.

[@dmcgee3]

I’ve asked him to do a video on alcohol laws. It’s crazy how much it varies state to state and even county to county within states. I feel you though. I’m in another state that doesn’t allow it, though in the last few years our strict alcohol laws have really relaxed. I think my state looked at surrounding ones and realized how much money they were loosing out on

[@LeCharles07]

And that's why we're so big on the separation of church and state but the religious nuts would have us live in a Christian Saudi Ariba or a Christian Iran.

[@johnladuke6475]

I do agree that Utah, and many US jusrisdictions, have ludicrous alcohol laws that would make for a good video, or even a recurring series, on the channel. But my first impression is that if you want a dozen or more bottles of wine delivered to your door regularly enough to be worth a subscription service... you have problems more urgent than draconian laws.

[@Hannahbee_91]

@@johnladuke6475 Or we have family and friends and like to entertain? They only send you 4 wines a month and I imagine their selection is a bit wider than the state run liquor stores we have here.

[@TysonJensen]

@@Hannahbee_91 The Utah State liquor stores will get you anything you ask for nicely. But they don't want to tell you that they'll do this because it's extra work for them. You can also ask if anything that someone else special ordered wasn't picked up because that's often a good lead on something tasty. At least, that's how it was when I lived in Utah many years ago.

[@limitbreak2966]

0:50 imagine stealing billions of dollars , and being extremely open about having loads of money

[@kleinerprinz99]

I'd so much wish for a Fight Club style anarchist approach to crypto currency theft. Steal all all crypto coins put them all into one thumb drive and then burn and crush and crush and burn the thing and all this streamed live online. That would be daft!

[@mathewmaciolek581]

Quoting the movie Hans Gruber in Die Hard "Steal $600 you can just disappear, steal $600 million they will find you unless they think you're already dead".

[@francespyne7316]

Ahh see they are working on the 'if I really had done x, would I have really been dumb enough to do y' strategy. Very successful in late 1980/ early 1990 TV shows (e.g., Murder, She Wote). Clever and brilliant, I always based my life choices on things like that. 😊

[@M00s3r]

Or the OJ "if I did it"

[@australisborealispolaris477]

It also reminds of Amok by Kristian Bala

[@jfbeam]

Isn't that the Chewbacca Defense(tm)?

[@AndrewAMartin]

Why anyone ever invited Jessica Fletcher to attend their event or visit their town, I'll never know. So many bodies, everywhere she went...

[@bazzfromthebackground3696]

I had been saying "wait till someone hacks a crypto" back when it came out. This was small time.

[@quiquaequod322]

OBJECTION! [1:48] You call her the "crocodile" of Wall Street, but the picture is clearly an alligator.

[@bobthemethguy3450]

*writes about cyber security* *stores private keys on cloud* :| ok.

[@sabrinakingsley798]

How did law enforcement "decrypt" the excel file? Was the encryption just weak? This is really the true mistake they made.

[@mdamaged]

2:58 and make sure it's the most convoluted, invasive, slowest process they can, in hopes they can keep as much as they can for themselves.

[@arinc9]

1:21 I love how the editor put quotes on auto subtitle picking up the audio as [Music] lol

[@Handinmapocket]

The amount of shady Crypto and NFT related "Get rich easy and quick" schemes I get advertised on KZbin should be a criminal offense. Even after reporting them and clicking "Stop seeing this add", I still get those exact same ones. One guy even had a second advert specifically mentioning people reporting and skipping is first add.

[@MunchKING]

Wait, I heard no claims of "ex-military guy guns down cops with a longe-range military machine gun, while the wife ammo loads for him". Minimal running between states, and they weren't ambushed and super-murdered by the cops and didn't have all their bits cut off and sold as souvenirs. In what way WERE they like Bonnie and Clyde?

[@ArchibaldClumpy]

Because they were a couple, that's it.

[@SeventhSeraphOfficerRevolver]

they were utterly incompetent

[@tomshepherd4901]

Art Critic: "As they say, beauty is in the eye of the... oh, that's just crap!"

[@georgeh6856]

"Serial entrepreneur" means you failed at multiple businesses.

[@KenBladehart]

Alternate title: Silly married couple failed to steal 0$

[@philvanderlaan5942]

Simon Whistler @ The Casual Criminalist : Rule #1 ‘ Don’t write down , your crimes ‘ he says this so often even he acknowledges the meme I love the non laundering money laundering , and here I get worried when I find I forgot to check my pockets before I throw stuff in the wash only to find several dollars up against the lint screen.

[@johanneskaiser8188]

With how much you like criminals labeling the evidence you'd love Simon Whistler's "Definitely Not My Crimes" notebook, allegedly coming soon as merch. :D Even comes with 30 rules for criminals.

[@RLTango]

I've purposely avoided this case specifically waiting for your video!!!

[@abqnurse5760]

Thanks for suffering for our entertainment! They are definitely in the running for dumbest criminals ever!! This was hilarious 😂 🤣

[@LJCyrus1]

Wait, they literally LABLED a bag "burner phones?"

[@82dorrin]

Reality has become Arrested Development, from back when it was good.

[@anne189inator]

YAY thank you so much for covering these guys

[@castilater]

Really wish the word "theoretical" was put in front of the reported dollar amount stolen here. Even if you had *legally* obtained all that Bitcoin, and the price was stable, there would still have to be $4.5 bil in liquidity across all exchange platforms available to you to *fully realize* the $4.5 bil estimation. I'm not trying to claim this amount of money *doesn't* exist within the crypto economy, but rather I'm trying to emphasize that until the point at which you exchange any coin or token for actual currency, its value is still purely theoretical and speculative.

[@johnladuke6475]

Good point. I guess I can claim to have have $4.5 billion worth of pocket lint if I get a few people to agree to it, but if I can't take it to the bank it's still worthless.

[@CiaphasKirby]

That's like saying a billionaire isn't a billionaire unless they have $1,000,000 sitting in an account ready to be withdrawn at a moment's notice. ALL super rich people have the extreme majority of their money tied up in assets that would have to be moved in order for them to use that money.

[@Anything_Random]

By that logic there are no billionaires in the US at all, no one keeps a billion in cash in their bank account because you'd be losing a huge amount of money to inflation alone. Every rich person keeps as much money as possible in securities and other assets and only liquidates when it's profitable to do so.

[@jeffredfern3744]

@@CiaphasKirby yeah but moving stocks and real estate is probably easier than selling a billion dollars in crypto. They very action of which, would likely lower the price more so than say selling a stock position of equal value.

[@jameson1239]

Or 1 billion dollars at current exchange rate

[@peterobinson3678]

'...hard to keep track of your accounts and private keys...' I was SURE that was gonna be a sweet transition to a Lastpass advert...

[@hazardjsimpson]

...exposing the rest of us to 'Razzlekhan' is the definition of misery loving company.

[@casedistorted]

Ok every time someone calls themself a "Serial Entrepreneur" it's literally just a euphemism or nice way to call yourself a scammer. I've never heard of someone who is legit and honest calling themselves a serial entrepreneur.

[@Najolve]

My biggest issue with crypto is the energy and hardware needed for it to function. Well that, and the overt exposure of d-bags.

[@126644]

Not all crypto is like that if the method of verifying transactions is proof of stake, very little energy is required

[@josefrobert6644]

That rapping made my left ear swell like a cauliflower. Good to know my immune System is on par.

[@peterh5165]

Yes, unfortunately, once you have seen her perform, you can't un-see it. Other than that: good video!

[@jamesrawlins735]

By comparison Logan Paul and Rebecca Black ("Fridays") actually seem talented 😆

[@zubizuva]

Legal Eagle is one of the few creators I don't mind listening to read ad copy. His voice is just that inviting.

[@jschnei3]

For some reason I find abysmal artists who nonetheless believe in themselves sort of inspiring

[@Xanthelei]

My issue with the blockchain is that it's only an open ledger for as long as SOMEONE hosts it. To my knowledge, we don't have someone archiving the various blockchain ledgers, so if for whatever reason the ledger gets corrupted or unhosted, we don't have a backup we can go back to that will tell us "oh yeah, Johnny had x amount and Sam had y amount as of z date." It goes against the principle of "one backup is none, two is one, three is two." It's the equivalent of storing your money in a glass case and hoping the building doesn't burn down. Sure the glass shards will leave a trail of blood leading to whoever smashed the glass to steal it, but none of that will matter if they also manage to commit arson. (Very poor analogy, but I'm tired so it's the best I can do lol)

[@donaldpetersen2382]

I for one welcome back Bender back as my robot overlord. If only they could afford an ass that shiny

[@AshBlossomWorshiper]

10:19 I really thought he was gonna go into an ad read. That woulda been so crazy smooth

[@broadway331]

I would love to see Lauren Lapkus play Heather Morgan the eventual miniseries/tv film/indie film of this story.

[@mpkorea]

I'm from Paso Robles. Thanks for the endorsement!

[@TheGrinningViking]

Oh damn that's some big crime. They can just buy any prison that holds them if they have even the couch change left over from that, they are all corporations in the US.

[@YingofDarkness]

Which is why the Feds took all the money away already. Not that it seems to matter if their parents are rich enough to be able to bail they out at bonds of $3mil and $5mil each. They are both going to have very cushy cells.

[@domojestic4155]

I know this isn't a fictional legal review video, but I still wanna recommend the Reality v. Fantasy court scene from the finale of Gravity Falls. It's pretty goofy, but maybe some suubstance could come of it.

[@shock019]

16 seconds in I think I might have cancer from seeing the clip from that rap video. Can I sue?

[@matterixon]

You can definitely sue.. but it wouldn’t go too far.

[@ScarletCharlotte]

9:45 I was fully expecting you to just say "..really stupid criminals." But of course you put it in more professional terms.

[@thefourshowflip]

An economist AND a rapper…what a resume 🤣

[@Dkarp04]

This is so detailed .. I've been hoping for someone to break this down so thoroughly, and as always very entertaining !!

[@SsnakeBite]

Ah, cryptocurrency, because some people apparently think the problem with modern capitalism is that there's far _too much_ accountability for rich people.

[@Law-gnome]

And also because absolutely no one is willing to learn from history. The exact same schemes are being pulled with cryptocurrency (pump and dump, for example) as were pulled with the stock market 100 years ago leading to the stock market crash and the creation of the SEC.

[@matthewcowles5187]

After everything in the news. And the world... This was a break I didn't know I needed.