The Importance of Safety & Trust

RESOURCES
www.leslievernick.com
Suicide and crisis hotline: 988
Challenges in Recognizing Unsafe Relationships
Dismissing Own Feelings and Needs
Fear of Confronting Truth About Relationship Dynamics
Addressing Misguided Advice
Forgiveness and Forgetting
Importance of Remembering Past Actions for Setting Boundaries
Illustration: Story of the Songwriter Behind "Amazing Grace"
Understanding Need for Repentance and Growth
Maintenance vs. Repair Work in Relationships
Analogy: House Maintenance and Repair
Necessity of Addressing Trust and Safety Issues Before Other Issues
Recognizing Difference Between Maintenance Tasks and Repair Work
Understanding Individual Capacity and Emotional Management
Importance of Self-Awareness in Managing Emotions
Recognizing Emotional Capacity and Limitations
Analogies: Understanding Emotional Capacity Through Everyday Examples
Taking Ownership of Personal Growth
Individual Responsibility for Personal Development
Importance of Prioritizing Self-Care and Emotional Well-Being
Recognizing When Individual Work is Necessary Before Addressing Relationship Issues
Seeking Help and Support
Encouragement to Seek Professional Guidance and Support
Highlighting Available Resources for Personal Growth and Relationship Support
Empowerment to Prioritize Personal Growth and Safety in Relationships

[@mihaelawebb8065]

You just described my life and marriage. 1st time I listen to this podcast, but I'm grateful that my marriage counselor advised me 3 years ago, and now (this Wed), I'm finalizing my divorce. I'm glad I finally listen to the voice of Truth instead of the lies I've been fed Good luck to everyone! There's hope and light, and God sees us!

[@RaeV3]

It only just clicked to me recently how selfish my ex was. I was always concerned with US and not ME, and I always thought that he was the same. Looking at things now he was mostly concerned with what he wanted. I generally just trusted him that when he would make decisions that it was for us. I am trying to look now at what I actually want and making sure that I prioritize myself and my needs.

[@leslievernick]

I'm sorry this is your situation but am thankful that you are opening your eyes to the truth. Please continue to listen and be educated and go to my website where I have lots of other resources to help. God bless.

[@LoneStarLady-]

Such great and wise counsel. Really helps me feel better about the decisions I’m having to make about the destructive marriage I’ve been working so hard on for 32+ years. The shame, guilt, and pressure applied by so many to be a “good Christian wife” has blinded me and led me to feeling trapped and hopeless. I really like the idea of projecting positive or moral attributes that we have on to someone who really doesn’t have that. I have had to take a hard look beyond the right/loving words and (sometimes)actions of the Christian “Mr. Jekyll” persona and see the destructive behaviors of “Mr. Hyde.”

[@iw9338]

Safe to be me, excellent 😅

[@pams2207]

Thank you for this Really important message!!!

[@shirleybarrett605]

After having had my second daughter, she was only 3 weeks old, i found him with porn, he said he had gone off me sexually. I had two more daughters after that , and felt i had to give him sex to early because he would go back to his porn. I felt i had to not say i was to tired to much, because he would go to his porn, but he did anyway.

[@leslievernick]

I'm so sorry, Shirley.

[@jenniferwittke190]

John Newton!

[@pams2207]

John Newton was the author of Amazing Grace

[@leslievernick]

Agh. You're right! Horatio Spafford wrote It is Well With My Soul. I'll correct that. That's what I get for speaking off the top of my head! - Julie

[@cathymiller6670]

Could you add 16:49 ress mental illness in a mariage, who fits the destructive description..

[@leslievernick]

We are going to be addressing this in a future podcast!

[@user-ou1bj9nh2v]

I would be grateful to hear more about mental illness that has become destructive in a marriage. It's hard to balance boundaries with empathy in this situation, especially when your spouse has become so far into his illness that he does not see his need for help.