What Is Emotional Abuse with Leslie Vernick (Conquer Codependency God's Way)

At Treasured Ministries we believe the answer to codependency is God dependency for every woman and we want to see a world where women live free as God intended. We’re on a mission to help women conquer codependency God’s way so they can find their voice, develop healthy relationships and thrive.
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Aliene Thompson is the president of Treasured Ministries International, the creator of the Nourish Bible Study Method, and the founder of the Treasured Tribe, an online Christian community for women. Her popular series on KZbin, “Conquer Codependency God's Way”, helps women worldwide move from codependency to God dependency so they can live in freedom as God intended.
Links Mentioned in Today's Show:
How can I know if I am experiencing or have experienced emotional abuse in my marriage? It can be confusing and if the first step is awareness - Leslie has designed a free resource to bring clarity to this question - is my marriage difficult, disappointing or destructive?
leslievernick.com/start
"The Emotionally Destructive Marriage" Hardcopy: amzn.to/47N0xLR
"The Emotionally Destructive Relationship" Hardcopy: amzn.to/4a1P4ub
PODCAST: Is Your Relationship Abusive? www.podbean.com/ew/pb-tuffz-1...

[@sherrydickie8459]

What an insightful video. Thank you! Almost 30 years ago I left a physically and emotionally 19 year marriage. Though my children (32 and 41) know how their dad treated me, they treat me much the same way. They both belittle and gaslight me, say hurtful things and use their children as weapons. I haven't seen my 7 year old granddaughter in 2 years. Videos like this help! Thank you!

[@user-tl7mm78]

That's what it has always been like for me in my marriage and my relationships with my children. User/taker. The only thing I got out of my relationships were abuse and abandonment, by my parents, my ex-husband and now my children. And so now I fly solo. I praise the LORD He will never leave or forsake me. He is my husband, helper, healer and fortress. I turn to him and put my trust only in Him.

[@treasuredministries]

I'm glad that you have found comfort in Jesus and go to HIM in your time of need. PRAISE HIM!! Thank you for following Treasured Ministries, you have a blessed day!

[@debbieforhim7800]

I'm watching this VERY helpful video again. Thank you! I wish there were more of these though about girl friend relationships, but I guess the same principles apply as they do to destructive marital relationships. I have had to let some "friends" go recently because I realized I again was being treated poorly, and the dysfunctional co-dependant little girl inside of me thought that was "normal", but it's damaging! God's principle of treating others as we'd like to be treated is so simple, basic, and a guidepost now for me. God is teaching me to get my worth from HIM not other humans!

[@treasuredministries]

I could not agree W you more! The worst relationship mistake I ever made was with a female friendship. I learned so much. I tell you what on my next live Q&A. I’ll talk about a little bit of what I’ve learned. You’re absolutely right there needs to be more resources on friendships.

[@debbieforhim7800]

Thank you! I feel like God just dropped this episode into my lap because I am suffering right now. I recently had to (finally) remove my brother and his wife from my life permanently because they are so destructive. For the last 10 years I have been her target; no matter how kind I have been, giving grace, turning the other cheek, forgiving - she would regularly wound me with her harsh words,, reject me, leave my husband and I out of family get-togethers, talk badly about me to other family members. I have felt her victim. She is VERY charming and everyone falls for it! My brother seems confused at times by what she says and does and gets upset by it, but in the end always supports her and then comes after me too. We were raised in a tense, unhappy household with a tyrannical step-mother and a weak father. He allowed her to treat us badly (especially me). Now my brother is playing out with his wife the SAME toxic dynamic! And I have been and continue to be harmed by it! I am so sick of this! I feel very alone in this because many people have only seen her SUPER CHARMING self - it just shines out of her. It was the same with my step-mother....friends would not believe it when I told them how she really was and how I was treated! She also would turn on that charm and manipulate. Thx again - channels like this are helping me to come to terms with this ugliness and find healing. Thankfully, I have a happy marriage and many blessings....wonderful, Godly women friends! And I believe through this God is continuing to conform me into His image.

[@user-tl7mm78]

Your SIL depicts Narcissistic behaviour. Sadly, your brother is caught up in his wife's whirlpool of destruction and may not realise the damage she has caused until it is way too late. It is also harming him to a huge degree, but as you said he stands by her because she is his wife. Sometimes people in relationships are blinded and don't see the real damaging behaviour of the person they are with. It's good that you have taken measures to protect yourself. I'm glad you have good support measures to surround you and help you. Stand strong in the LORD and may He bless and increase you and fill you with His love and goodness and provide you with the necessary strategies to guard your heart and emotions against damage.

[@treasuredministries]

Praise God you found us and this video, it's all HIS timing!!! Family is hard, praying for them and for HIS will is all we can do. You take care of you and your relationship with God. Praying your family will come around, but in the meantime keep praying and following HIS will. Prayers and hugs!!

[@jane77722]

Such a valuable conversation!! Dishonoring = Disrespecting, Degrading Golden nugget from this: Emotional abuse is using words and behaviors, without hitting, to dishonor, oppress or control another person.

[@treasuredministries]

Thank you for listening! We are so happy that you've found our channel. 😊😊

[@user-tl7mm78]

I will continue in prayer and I do daily for my loved ones, friends and brothers and sisters in Christ.

[@treasuredministries]

Absolutely! And if you would like join us in our Treasured Tribe group. We join together to learn, pray, share and grow in Christ! Treasuredtribe.com Prayers friend!

[@jerriannpriest7505]

Very Powerful message. Has answered my question to stay or leave once and for all to heal me and my self worth to regain my self joy and happiness I deserve the God has and wants for me.

[@treasuredministries]

YES! God loves you unconditionally!

[@debbiekling6065]

Helper in Hebrew , Ezer pronounced Ayer , Gods strength, power and protection, and rescuer

[@wordwisewomanwithjanice]

Two of my favs. So much wisdom between you two❤

[@treasuredministries]

Thank you!!! So happy and blessed by your support!!

[@candicec6513]

sadly, women can play the victim and there's sometimes a pattern of multiple marriages with tolerating emotional abuse. Original family has abuse in many cases. I've heard, "I just need to be a better wife, yet there's also a put-down to the husband as he hasn't worked in 25 years and she supports them both and brags about it. He makes the financial decisions and she says, "It's my money that's being earned." All the while, insisting on being a submissive wife. There's a superiority sometimes as a victim. It can be crazy being a friend to this type of woman. There may also be some exaggerating for sympathy. Not mostly, but sometimes. I won't play the role of counselor as a friend to anyone as it's so complicated and difficult. After a decade of hearing this, I am worn out as a friend and really just change the subject.

[@treasuredministries]

Yes, that's where we need the Co Dependency on God. As a friend we can ourselves be God dependent. And in doing this we are showing our friends how we are living. So being an example, praying for them to also find their way to God dependency and living free in HIM. Thank you for sharing and following us! Blessings!

[@Webbgurl2000]

No. This is victim blaming.